Is anyone else an atheist with BC besides me?
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Good to see you Alex..it is hard living 3,000 miles away from family..I know only too
well...but that is not a reason to believe in something you just don't believe in..I am sure
you will eventually find some like minded folks..it might be fun to find what you are passionate
about other than work and find some outlet for that...hugs to you
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Hi Alex,
I also know that twinge of envy of those who have beliefs in the hereafter, heaven, etc. It sure would make a lot of my stuggles with death a lot easier, but it just doesn't work for me at all.
And I definitely can empathize with being single and alone. I spend a lot of time alone, most of it actually. And it is a sad place to be. And scary. But I'm trying to get a grip on that, make some changes, slowly...
Someone posted above, and I've also heard about, that the Unitarian Universalist Congregation (a.k.a. Unitarian Church) may be worth looking into. According to their website (uua.org) they do use teachings from the Judeo-Christian traditions but also draw on other religions, humanism, and earth-centric beliefs. An acquaintance of mine, who is a really cool guy, goes to the Unitarian Congregation. If you want to explore your relationship with God in a church-like setting, this might be a possibility. Just a thought... If you do go, I'd love to know what you think about it.
So, yes, I think you make a lot of sense. I definitely understand what you're saying and feeling. Heathen hugs coming your way!!
Elizabeth
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Hi there from Australia,
I am 3 years down the track and have no religious faith whatsoever. What I do have is faith in myself and the ability to heal myself with meditation and positive visualisation.
I use all sorts of "tools" . One is to give thanks to the Universe everyday for the strength that I do have and for all the bounty in my life. Having said that. I am comletely alone and unsupported. My daughter lives in N.Y, and my son in another state Neither can cope with or talk about cancer. My sister and most of my friends so called, walked out of my life shortly after diagnosis.
We have a wonderful site in Australia and when I need support I go there. Wonderful warm girls. But a real friend close by, would sure be a blessing.
My cousing was an adamant "believer" and spent 24 years dying a terrible death from bc. So god sure did not repay her for a life time of dedication!!!
Write if you feel like it and I will try to remember to come on site more often.
Wishing you all the best. Don't feel abandoned.
Sashiko
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Welcome Sashiko...I can't believe everyone bailed on you! We're here for you if you need us!
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konakat, I can't get my head around quantum physics either. Back when I was going through chemo a friend rented "What the Bleep Do We Know". Some of that stuff is hard to even imagine, and how can anyone KNOW any of it? It doesn't seem 'knowable' at all. I couldn't even watch the whole thing. I thought my head was going to explode just partway through it.
ivorymom, your suggestion to volunteer for meal preparation resonated with me. Where should I look for an opportunity to get involved?
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Thanks everyone for your welcome!
SoCalLisa, yes, I agree, I need to figure out what my passion is. Right now, even at 53 years old, I don't know which is kinda sad. I am totally into history (American revolution and Civil War eras) which is pretty much a bust for activity since I live in California. Oh well, life is still good and I guess I'll figure it out sooner or later.
Elizabeth, yes, I'm actually thinking of checking out the Unitarians but am being very lazy and putting it off until the end of the summer (I like the luxury of not having to do anything on a Sunday morning!) I've checked out the local website and like what I saw. You know how all the Christian churches always portray themselves as the rock you cling to in the midst of chaos? This is what the Unitarian website here in Sacramento says: "Life itself is more like a river than a rock. Life is in flux, it changes, twists and turns, ebbs and flows. When a river encounters a boulder, the boulder may win for a while. But eventually, even the most massive stone is worn away by the currents of time." This resonates with me.
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Welcome Sashiko! I'm sorry about them walking out on you! Shame on them!
I understand that I, as cancer-girl, am a poke in the eye to remind people about their mortality and that life can suddenly change. It seems to take something traumatic to find out who are your real friends.
Meg -- that is unreal -- what are they thinking??? Oh yeah, ratings... How will they know if someone doesn't pretend-convert to get a cool trip?
Althea -- I'm going to check my library to see if they have that video -- I'm sure my brain will explode with physics overload during the opening credits!!
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acdmom, a Duncan Mills group located at the mouth of the Russian River does a civil war reenactment periodically. I've read about it in the Press Democrat in Santa Rosa and have no more specific information but you should be able to google the paper and retrieve the articles. Is that something you might be interested in? It's only a few hours drive away from Sacramento.
It's interesting following how different people need to understand their place in the universe. I have no answers. I'm here and this is my life and when the chemical event ends, adios. Somebody else said "chemical event" and the expression defines it precisely for me. The day to day experience, plumbing the depths of myself as I go and connecting with the people I love seems to be enough. I feel very lucky to be happy with my life.
I've always thought of my Christian relatives as having handed over control of their spirituality and much of their lives to their various churches which looks to me like if they follow the rules they have no further responsibility. It makes it easy when you think you know all the answers, you're right and everyone else is wrong. There is a smugness and a sense of certainty that goes with that. I find it really difficult to be around. They are not accepting of divergent thought but at least have mostly given up on trying to convert me.
Volunteering resources: again, the Press Democrat publishes a regular feature listing the local agencies looking for help of various kinds and the training requirements. Maybe your local paper does as well? It's a place to start, anyway.
Linda0 -
The Unitarian church is the one that my pagan friends tend to go to when they want someplace to go on Sunday...it's very supportive of pagan beliefs and is very open minded and all-encompassing.
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Hey, all. I've lurked on this thread since its inception, and have had to nearly bite my tongue off when others invade to preach their beliefs and try to convert (even though they swear that's not their intent. C'mon.)
But I did want to speak up about the Unitarian church. I spent a few years in one while in grade school (my mom's influence) and at the same time sang in the neighborhood baptist choir (all my friends were there.) Every Sunday at the Baptist church, someone would try to "save" me. From what, they weren't clear. The depths of their hell, I presumed. The U/Us talked acceptance and politics and peace and being a good person. Those values I embodied.
I never, though, embodied a god. though I feel an amazing presence while in nature. And I talk to myself and look inward for answers. Some may call that prayer. Maybe it is. But I'm not asking anyone for anything, like most prayers do--except maybe self-guidance.
I used to clench my jaw when people would volunteer to pray for me. I used to argue about god and religion with them. Now, I just accept it as what they want to do, and they mean well. But I ask them not to pray FOR me, but to pray that I have the grace and courage to accept what comes my way. And to pray for a cure. Then back up that prayer with money to cancer research. They don't quite know what to make of that, so they quit promising to pray for me.
Alex, I'd go back to the U/U church for the fellowship, but my Sundays at home are a precious time. I believe in treating people as I wish to be treated. I lean toward the Buddha's teachings, which do parallel Christ's in many ways. I believe heaven and hell are metaphors for our lives, and we move freely between the two. Afterlife? Reincarnation and past lives intrigue me, but traditional Judeo-Christian notions of "going to heaven" (if I'm saved!) have no meaning for me.
So, there's my two cents.
Anne
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I have just found and read most of this thread. At a grown up age (61) I am still deciding what I believe and am sure it is not the stories told by some old men from stories that were written several hundred years after the purported events. There is just no chance of accuracy there. Besides, churches and religion are so often anti women and pro war that I can't imagine being part of it. One summer, I did get curious and read the Bible. My life didn't change. I do admit to being a bit envious of the Catholic schools when there was some kind of tragedy. They had a program all set up that the kids bought into to deal with things. As a counsellor at a public high school, I had to think each event through with the students.
Is this weird? A very good friend of mine from university days died from breast cancer when we were 50. Her father gave me an African violet of hers and said he thought she'd like me to have it. This caused me some panic as I am generally pretty bad with plants. Because of her story, I started having mammograms. Five years ago DCIS was found. This year more. These 10 plus years the plant has stayed alive blooming off and on. From the time I was diagnosed in early March till now when I am almost done chemo, the plant has bloomed gloriously. There are a couple more buds to bloom that should take it at least to the end of my chemo. I like to think it is my friend telling me that I will be all right. Maybe some part of her still speaks somehow.
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Lassie, I'm sure that every time you look at your African violet, you think of your dear friend. Now that's what I call an afterlife! She lives on in your mind and in your heart.
(And congrats for keeping it in bloom too!!)
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Wow .. I haven't posted on BCO in a very long time. But, I like this thread best of all.
Hi Layne .. How is my friend to the north? I love your parking gods, and in your area of the country you really need a few!
Hi Sige .. you are looking fabulous.
Kona .. My son is just finishing his major project in quantum physics. A little history here ... I never took him to Sunday school or church, although he did attend a Baptist prek. When he was around a year old, mom my was freaking out cause I hadn't had him baptized. At that time, she was a Methodist. Anyway .. I said okay .. l'll get him baptized, so my son, mom and I went to see the minister and walllaaa .. he's baptised.
My son is a man of science. My sister was a geology major .. a woman of science. One day when talking to my son, he was explaining "quarks" to me. He has a marvelous gift of explaining the hard to fathom. I asked him if he believed in God, and he said no, BUT .. something had happened to these quarks in that they traveled through something or other that was scientifically impossible to do. He thought maybe that might be God .. but there is still a possibility that someday science will figure out how this happened. So far .. it's still a mystery.
I was born and confirmed Lutheran. At 14 after the grand confirmation ceremony, I bolted from that religion of sin and fear. Geez .. who needs it. However, a few years later I fell into a charismatic religious cult. OMG. When I was eventually excommunicated from that, I tried the Pentacostals. Not my cup of tea. I finally just gave up on it all.
What I do like about the Bible is that there are parts of it that speak to a person's heart and "soul." For example, the passage about "peace beyond all understanding." Well, I find that peace in nature, in my gardens and in life. I sure as hell don't find that peace wondering if I'm going to heaven or hell. As for the Bible being the only true word of God .. naw, not possible. The early Christians omitted many, many books from the Bible. The idea of the trinity was created by the early church leaders to unite the different factions of Christians at that time.
When I say to someone "I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers," I mean I am sending out the good in the universe to watch over you. The Bible talks about Faith, Hope and Charity. Those are great .. but surely not related to my eternal salvation. Who doesn't need faith, hope and charity.
I don't believe in heaven, hell, or sin for that matter.
I and sure as hell don't want some person who neither knows me or cares about me to say prayers for my eternal salvation. I don't want that shit put out in the universe.
I am amazed, after quite an absence from this site, that it has become the Christian Breast Cancer Support Board.
When I leave this earth, I want to buried w/o cremation in my fields under my favorite oak tree. Just dig a big hole, wrap me up in a sheet and send me back to my first love and comfort .. mother earth. If Tim can't swing that, then just burn me up and put me in my flower gardens, as that is where my love, faith and hope reside.
Bren
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Bren...so very good to see you!!!!!!!! Where on earth have you been girlfriend?
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Hey Sige !!
Laying low ... whining about my job, taking care of the "farm" and dogs. You know ... just regular life stuff.
Hugs ..
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I like your post by the way...I agree...sprinkle me in my flowers
And thanks for the compliment!0 -
Hey Layne!!
Happy Birthday! and Happy Anniversary!
Did I miss you this year at the festival in Galax?? Le me know next time you're in the "south."
love ya,
Bren
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Hi, fellow heathens! I just wanted to chime in on the feeling alone issue. There are a lot of local atheist groups around the country, and a lot of them organize on www.meetup.com. You can go there and search for the topic Atheists and put in your zip code and if there is a group nearby you can just sign up and go to whatever events they're pulling together. Of course I can't vouch for any of them, but I know there really are quite a few groups. I know in the group I was going to for a while they were always looking for more women members, because for some reason it was mostly men who showed up - and not just because they were looking for dates.0
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Layne, I'm hoping to have my ashes put into the Mississippi River. For some odd reason, I've lived within an hour's drive of the Mississippi River all my adult life. Eight different addresses and three states. A friend of mine sprinkled her mom's ashes in a public place and I think it's perfectly legal.
The ashes (actually crunched up bones) are sterile since they've gone through such high heat.
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Nope, it is illegal. Considered human remains. Most places require a permit, if they do allow it.
I know water is illegal.....inland bodies, anyhoo...we found that out after my Dad was cremated & we tried to scatter his ashes like he wanted.
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After the drama of my Dad, I found a place that sells crazy cool things, from diamonds made from ashes to art work. My sisters & I all wear a tear drop shaped pendent with some of my Dad's ashes inside. You'd be surprised how many times I have touched it to gain strength or feel close to him.
Pretty silly for an agnostic, right?
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Dawn .. Not silly at all, and very, very comforting to you and your sister.
My dad died six months ago of cancer. We only had 10 weeks between dx and his death. So not much time to get ready. Very soon after my dad died, my sis told me he visited her. This was great news, as I was wondering where he went after he died. He told my sis that he "had landed." We were relieved to hear that he was someplace. But unfortunately, that's all we got .. "I've landed." I sure hope he landed in his avocado orchards, cause he would be really bored in heaven!
I don't want to confuse anyone here. I believe in God .. but my God sure may not look like anyone elses. He/She looks alot like the zinnias in my garden.
" hugs,
Bren
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Hi, Bren.
We lost my Dad to cancer as well. Near the end, he asked us to open the window. It was January in Pittsburgh, PA. Pretty cold outside to say the least. Within moments a ladybug flew in the window with a few snow flakes & landed on my Dad's bed. He said "Hmmm, maybe I'm going to be a lady bug after I die."
Well, after he passed, I bought his truck from my Mom & drove the 1000 miles home, I cried & sang & cried the whole way. As I pulled in the driveway & reached down to make sure I had the truck in neutral, a lady bug landed on my hand & just sat there. I have a picture of it, my hand on the gear shift & the ladybug on my hand....I should scan it & post it.
I think of him everytime I see a ladybug.
I like to think of my Dad flying through the cosmos, seeing everything he always loved & never got to see because he spent his whole life raising a family.
I wonder where your Dad has landed....
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That sounds like a good plan! (Sprinkle at night...) Although I honestly don't think anyone would notice whatever "pollution" I might add to the muddy Mississippi! LOL
(Also, the laws might not be as strict in southern Illinois. Think Kentucky.) (Or perhaps no one bothers to enforce them!)
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What a beautiful photo!
We scattered my father's ashes in the barn yard, in the barn, and down by the river behind our house -- his favourite places. Yes, illegal, but f-off -- we didn't tell mom -- she'd have a fit. When mom dies, she wants her ashes scattered at the hospital grounds where she was trained as a nurse -- she says those were her happiest years (gee, thanks mom....but we understand...).
I don't understand the thing about ashes. They're sterile. It's not like scattering around body parts!! With the crap that goes into our waterways, garbage left behind in parks, ashes should be the least of their concerns!!
I'm off to pick up the DVD What the bleep do we know -- ready to explode my brain on quantum physics!
Elizabeth
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I can't find the DVD. Where did you track it down? I'd love to find out I don't know half the bleeping stuff I think I do.
They told me they are don't concerned about the ashes, it is the pieces of bone they are worried about. Go figure, we have garbage piles the size of Texas floating in the ocean but a bone fragment is an issue.
Off to do yoga here....I am so stiff from the 3 surgeries in the past 10 weeks with 2 more coming up in the next 3, I started yoga...I found out I am not that bendy. Yet.
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Here's a story I don't get to tell very often. <grin> By the time I turned 16, I knew I wanted to be a newspaper reporter. So instead of researching a big term paper, I decided to interview people instead because it would take less time. My topic was a compare/contrast essay about cremation vs. burial. Might have been prompted by a book called "The high cost of dying."
Anyway, I'm 16 and I'm interviewing a funeral home director who's getting peeved with my questions about cremation and what's the point of burying a beautiful casket, etc. So in the middle of the interview he gets up and rummages around in a cupboard until he finds what looks like a coffee can to me. He takes it back to his desk and pries the lid off.
I had asked him what cremains look like and he shoved the open can at me (like he was offering me peanuts) and said that's what they look like. In the can were chunks of bone. (I learned later that they usually crunch up the bones, but hadn't gone to the trouble with this homeless guy.)
Anyway (keep in mind I'm SIXTEEN years old!), to cover for my shock that a funeral director would be so callous, I asked how big the bone pieces generally are. Then he dumped the entire contents of the can onto his desk and poked them around with his finger! "Oh, I don't know," he said. "What do *you* think?"
I concluded my interview, thanked him very kindly for his time and walked sedately out of his business. All while my brain was yelling: "Run away! Run away from this crazy person!" LOL
And in more than 20 years of journalism, I never had a worse interview than that first one. Shriek!
--CindyMN
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Dawnn -- I did a search on my public library catalog and the DVD was there.
Cindy -- how awful!! And talk about disrespect for the dead!
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I know he was just throwing his weight around, trying to intimidate a poor high school kid. I told that story to everyone I knew in town, so I hope he at least lost some business over it.
--Cindy
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I got an A on the paper. LOLOLOL
(I was a good reporter and included every single thing that happened.)
(My teacher, to put it mildly, was appalled.)
--Cindy
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