Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Well crap Deb...that sucks. I'm gonna whine because I don't have a magic wand to make it all go away. I sure as hell wish I did because I would use it on us all.
Throwing my rose colored glasses on the desk for a few minutes...
I am so friggin sick and tired of being tired I can barely stand it! I am fifteen months out of treatment and I get more and more tired every day. I don't fall asleep at night...I pass out. I have all I can do to drive to and from work. I have been eating well...protein, veggies, fruit...drinking lots of water...exercising...taking vitamins and extra B12...its making me flippin crazy. Had blood work done to check my thyroid and counts and all was fine. They are now thinking "maybe" fibromyalgia...I haven't looked it up but it seems that I reacall that being something that makes you ache all over (which I do)but I don't recall it saying anything about being tired.
I could literally fall asleep at my desk if I were to lay my head down.
When do we get our energy back?
I'm not sorry I did the chemo and all the treatments that were offered...I would always wonder if I made the right choice if I hadn't but...I really wonder what the chemo did to my body other than kill the cancer cells. I sure have lost a brain cell or two!
Ok...back to my rose colored glasses...
Hugs all
Vickie
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Deb,
So sorry to hear that your wbc is low... you are right.... IT SUCKS!!
Thinking of you, and praying that all goes well with your chemo today.
Harley
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fibromyalgia and fatigue go hand in hand ...
deb, not fair, just not fair, totally Sucks
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kiki, that Really sucks about your sil
felicia, you're funny .. I used to be a purchasing manager in my former life and I wished many salespeople would lose my number already
karilynn, that's so right, we Should get a pass on all the other crap!
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yes, ALL this bc crap really SUCKS!!
Sorry for all the crap we all go thru on a daily basis... it sucks!
Harley
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thank you Charlene...just looked it up...
5 - Fibromyalgia is associated with additional symptoms
Other than muscular pain, fatigue, and tenderness, fibromyalgia patients also may experience:
- headaches
- irritable bladder or bowel
- memory problems
- pelvic pain
- noise sensitivity
- temperature sensitivity
- restless leg syndrome
- depression
- anxiety
OK...So can you say crap...I have every friggin one of those symtoms...seriously!
Have a doctors appointment April 1st...
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Vickie and Char,
I have those symptoms .. Can it be Epsteins Barr virus??
I have good news ... found out today my dog doesn't have cancer.
Saw my PCP doc today. Now I'm referred to a physiatrist for chronic back, shoulder and arm pain (like a chronic charlie horse) for the past 6 months. Yippee. Gotta get some injections and whatever else. I told her I was sick of living like a cancer victim ... so I started popping Tim's Vicodin (now a one a day addict) and started building a gazebo!! She asked me if I wanted my own Vicodin and I said "Sure." She also thought physical therapy might be a better idea than building a gazebo. Told her, no can do .. I'm on a mission. Also, found more basal cell skin cancer on my face where it's been resected twice already .. stitches, scars and all. Can hardly wait for more shots and stitches in my face!!!
So, off to see the physiatrist, surgeon and dermo guy next week !!!
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Kiki: Congrats on your mammo being a good one but what a crock of s**t about your sil. WTF is it when everyone around you is being diagnosed with cancer and more cancer??????
Deb: That's really crap about your counts. What else could they give you to perk them up? I'm assuming the neupogen shots carries the same risk as the Neulasta?
And, Vickie, Fibromyalgia sucks big time. I have a friend who has it and some days she can barely move. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you have some other strange crap that can be fixed.
I did actually get a rads tx today.....I put the scheduler on the spot when I demanded to know why I wasn't called back when they got the machine fixed and she slurred a name saying "I was told to cancel all the morning people". I told her that I was NOT to be cancelled out anymore and when I saw my rad onc on Monday I would make sure that that doesn't happen again. If the freaking machine gets fixed I WILL be back because I will call every hour on the hour and the minute it gets fixed I will be back in. She said ok sure. And I handed her a page with my cell# in size 28 font and said "stick this in the front of my file.....I want to be called correctly the next time". Believe me, I was loaded for bear this morning.
My dh's aunt had a stroke at 4am.......I spent the better part of the day at the hospital with her - her dh is a wreck, she's only 74 but has everything except cancer. I just got home and am so tired I could fall on my face.......have a good evening....Trina
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Alaska Deb, that really sucks!! Bitch away sister!
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New Vickie, my mom has fibromyalgia and is on a trial med for it. It was originally intended to treat epilepsy. She had good relief from pain but unfortunately side effect was weight gain. (She didn't need to gain any!) Hope you have a good doc. that believes in it, some idiots out there don't think it's real and that sucks for the people who are suffering. BTW my mom is also a 7 year survivor!
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Fongoool!!!! That's "fuck" in Italian! I just lost my big toe nail! That's my latest contribution to the bitch thread. WTF is happening to me? I lost my big toenails (both of the fuckers) during chemo and once or twice since then.
What gets me is that I ALWAYS lose the fuckers during the onset of the warm seasons....why can't I lose the bastids during the winter time when no one sees my sorry ass feet anyway?
My manicurist was no help....she said they don't make fake nails for big toes....double fongoool!!!
The best I can do is just paint the fucker when I have to go out somewhere.
Check my other "Oldbies" thread tomorrow, for results of my latest rounds of testing!
Later.
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Hi Gang,
Kiki...sorry about your SIL.....That sucks. Congrats on your mom being a 7 year survivor!
Karilyn....Yeah, your cold/flu sucks. I got an upper respiratory infection just when my red blood cells plummetted. I could barely breath. Haven't caught anything since....knock wood. That sucks.
Alaska Deb....Your low WBC sucks. Sorry you can't take Neulasta but that shot sucks too. It caused me so much pain.
Vickie....I hear you girl. I am so tired of being tired. I was always on the go and now I can barely get 4 hours of work out of a day. Then by night, I am wired and can't get to sleep. I quit my naps about 2 weeks ago. It sucks.
BinVA.....Sorry about your basal cell carcinoma. That sucks. The gazebo sounds great. You are building it yourself????? I want your enegy. I bought one already built. It is my meditation area. I think I am becoming a lortab junkie. I need one just to get out of bed in the morning, I hurt so bad.
Guggerly....Sorry about your aunt. that sucks. Is she ok? Does she have any paralysis or aphasia? My fil lived for 12 more years after his stroke. In the end, it was his diabetes that got him. He was 82.
Well, I called the mastectomy store about my bracelet. She was going to call me and forgot....yeah.....the company called her to tell her it really takes 3 weeks because she has to make it and then get it out the customer. I left my phone number with the company and she does not call me but the mastectomy store. And nobody calls me. Anyway, I should have it in about 1 week.
Got a massage today so I am feeling more mellow. She could not work on my legs because they are so swollen. 17 days after chemo and now my legs and feet decide to swell. Just in time for sandal weather! I am so tired of all the SE. They just keep coming. BC may be the gift that keeps on taking, but chemo is the gift that keeps on giving. Finally lost 10 of the 20 lbs chemo gave me. That was with hardly eating anything.
My husband is out of town so I have to care for our 13 animals by myself. That sucks. I have to get up at 6:00 am and I can barely get my eyes open. I used to pop out of bed at 6 with no problem. Have everybody fed and out the door, dishwasher loaded, kitchen swept, and a load of laundry done all before I walked out the door for work. Not anymore. I sure hope I don't have fibromyalgia. I have a lot of the symptoms. That sucks.
Well, I am sure this is something that needs to be done. Just can't remember what.
Debbie
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Trina, good for you, sometimes we have to push to get the attention that we need. They should have an alternate place to get rads if their machine breaks down, after all its all that they do.
Ltb3105, I am with you about the big toe nails, mine are turning purple right around the edge. I am sure that they are going to fall off sooner or later, its just a matter of time.
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I am actually looking forward to a dr's appointment. I am so tired tonight I feel sick. grrrrr.
Bren...not sure I dare look up Epstein Barr!
I'm gonna start sounding like a hypocondriac...my oncologist just gives me the "you have to let your body recover" line and I'm so tired of hearing that. I am NOT getting better...I am not feeling stronger...I am feeling more tired and achey every stinkin day.
Thanks Kiki...hoping they find its something like my thryroid or anything simple.
Ltb
that sucks. I do know that some of the fake nails that you can buy in the stores are way too big for my fingers...would they work for your big toe? Would it be safe to "glue" it to your skin? Just a thought...and a hug.I'm done whinin..putting my rose colored glasses on...putting my big girl panties on and dealing with it...but damn I'm tired.
thanks for the great thread...really wish I could help you all...can't seem to help myself though. (oops...there I go again)
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I know this has nothing to do with what were going through, but im kinda a sad today my Little Fergus (Kittie) was hit by a car im sad to say he didnt make it.
For you ladies with tonail and fingernail issues try Tea Tree Oil. Its been working for me. I hear it has worked for other ladies. Heather
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I'm so very sorry about your Kittie. So very sorry.
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Oh Heather..I am so very sorry. Of course you are sad...what better place to come when you are sad...sending you a hug.
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Heather,
I am so sorry to hear that your kittie died!! I hope that all the happy memories you have of your time together will comfort you at this sorrowful time...
Remember, he is at The Rainbow Bridge...waiting for you. When you pass away, you will both cross the Bridge together!!
HugsHarley
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Get out the crackers cuz here comes my whine...Tomorrow is my One year Cancerversary, which should be reason to celebrate, right? Today I had a biopsy for some calcifications that came up last week on my first post Mastectomy mammo. If this wasn't a Leap Year, it would be exactly, to the day, when I was diagnosed last year. Today is also the Birthday of a very dear friend of mine who died 5 years ago of brain Cancer. The doctor who did my biopsy has my mothers first name and my ex's last name...not good either way.
Added to all this fun, I am returning to work on Tuesday, April 1st, after being off for 9 weeks from my TRAM flap reconstruction that failed. I probably won't have my biopsy results until Tuesday or Wednesday, so I get to go back and pretend all is well.
This Cancer crap sucks...big time. This past year has been above and beyond anything I'd wish on my worse enemy. Mammos suck, biopsies suck, waiting for results sucks, diagnosis REALLY sucks, surgery sucks, chemo sucks, Neuropathy and Lymphedema suck, going bald sucks, losing eye lashes and eye brows suck.
I'm going to go nuts if one more person tells me how "cute" my short hair is. Yes, it's better than bald, but it's NOT me! Did I forget anything? Yep, I'm wound up tight...How am I going to get through this waiting game with any sanity left???
Linda
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Heather, how nice of you to think of others and offer advice while dealing with the loss of your Kittie. I'm so sorry for you.
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Linda, my one year cancerversary from date of bilateral mastectomies surgery is on Saturday .. IT ALL SUCKS!!! Thinking of you.
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Mary-What ABC check....I'm blind from my Ambiem and can't see it!!
Nicki-Your post could have been me talking until you got to working so many hours. Can you define that? I work about 50 hours a week (really work.......35 per week) and.....I aint got no husband. Which, once again has been reinforced as sometimes not being a bad thing because coffee SUCKS without cream!! Can't comment on the snow, it makes people jealous. : - )
My sister sings this annoying song to her brats...something like.... "don't you be a grumpy, just smile, smile and be happy" YEA, RIGHT.
Carlin-just to set the record straight...I could give a s*it about written grammer too!! Can you say text? lol! MK : - )
Kiki-I've never heard of that but, I'm sure it sucks. Sorry girl.
Felicia-How is your Identity Theft Compliance system working for you? Do you have one? We have a system that will BLOW YOUR MIND!! lol, ready to buy??? (I'm serious!) : - )
Deb-Cancer does suck but what sucks worse is when you no more than your f*ing Doctor! Are you kidding me??????????????????????? DEEP SIGH.....................................................
Vickie-have you been reading my bitch journal?Trina-sorry about your dh's auntie. That sucks.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{kiki mom}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Laura, I think I'm losing my big toe nail too!!!!!!
Debbie....what, You have a farm?
LINDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You could have been me talking!!!!!!! EVERYTHING SUCKS! Sorry girl. I feel your pain. All of it. I'm sitting right beside you, fists clinched ready to ...................argh!!!!!!!!!!!
Ambeim is kickin' in. Love y'all.
Traci
ps not checkin' for typo's or spelling or grammer. I ams what I ams.
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Heather, I am sorry to hear about your kitten, its hard to lose a pet especially with everything else you are dealing with.
Thank you about the tea tree oil, I actually got some this week because I read about it here, I just hope its not to late.
Heaven forbid the doctors might tell you some of this useful info before you start losing digits.
Linda sorry you are going through so much right now, you are right it all sucks big time.
I was going to bitch about the groomer nicking my Sassy's paw but I will save it for another night.
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Traci: OMG! Im laughing my arse off. You are so funny sometimes. 50+ hours are week sucks. Hmmm when it comes to husbands, shall we say its better to not have one, than to have one that needs to be supported? Thats one of my bitches today. He has not worked a full time job in our 30 years of marriage. Oh and I got myself cream yesterday! The real stuff too.
Vickster: There is a phenomenon called paraneoplastic syndrome. It can occur when one has cancer and makes the body go haywire. Can cause all sorts of immunde disorders, fibromyalgia being one of many. Glad you are seeing the doctor - did I see its on April fools day?
Laura: Hahaha in my family we say fa fongool! You made me giggle today.
Cant say hello to everyone as Im ready to hit the showers.
My bitch today is that all of a sudden my skin is peeling off my hands again. Just like it did when I got taxotere. Now why is this happening 3 years later? Cancer - the gift that never stops giving. For anyone that didnt need chemo, you dont know how lucky you are. Pisses me off I needed chemo. Have I said that already? Was clear sailing until my sentinel node came back positive.
Nickster
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morning girls,
It looks like yesterday was a another bad one. Sorry to all for the bad news. I too wish I could make it go away with a magic wand.
My bitch today is have to go to the onc every 6 months . So my panic starts now. Every time I go he tells me something else to make my panic increase. A year ago he wanted me to start having MRI 's every year then a mamo. So every 6 months one or the other would be done. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait to sit in a waiting room at an imaging center with a major panic attack going on every 6 months. I'm becoming one of those old people that spends their day in doctors offices . I thought once surgery then chemo I'd be done. BUT no one said cancer and chemo are a never ending process. I wish I knew about this message board before all of this..... Would of made other choices...
Just to let you guys know that tired feeling stays for a while I'm four years out and also worked through chemo, Big mistake, These doctors need to tell you the body needs rest , no stress, healthy food, and someone to take care of you. BUT THESE DOCTORS ARE MEN !!!!!!!!! When you are a woman those things don't happen!!!!!!!!!!!!! If its not the income you need from the job its the kids or parents you are now taking care of. And if you are not working at a job out of the house . You have your job in the house (no pay check there-- no thanks either).
Don't know what to tell you all but I just know its going to take a while before some of your energy is back. And then You have to adjust to the fact you a now someone different. Physically , mentally, and emotionally. For me I'm still adjusting . And I know how lucky I was to come across this message board and meet all of you. THANKS.......
Nicki what the hell is paraneoplastic syndrome.
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Mornin' girls.
I forgot what I was going to bitch about.
Hope your day isn't too crappy!
More later! Traci
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Traci, that is something to bitch about - forgetting what you wanted to bitch about!
Sheila
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My bitch today is the temporary the dental assistant made for a bottom FRONT tooth is the worst temporary ever. It's two different colors: Yellow on the top and white on the bottom and it's all uneven and barely shaped like a tooth. The part that's white looks like I have a wad of bread or something stuck to my "yellow" tooth. I'm embarrassed to open my mouth...but I'm also too lazy to go back and have it redone. I've decided to basically mumble for the next 3 weeks until my crown arrives.
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About teeth, has anyone ended up with cracked teeth after Taxols, I've had to molars literally crack in half, and little chips all over it's making me nuts.
Heathre I'm so sorry about your cat, I would go nuts, if that happened to mine they don't go out in winter but have to in summer and it's a constant fear and my son and I argue about it. But Em will just cry at the window and I mean cry so pathetically that there is no way I can leave her in all day.
Kiki, I'm sorry about your sil shit.
Ltb3105, I've always been afraid of toenails falling out and your right what a shitty time for it to happen, hell just paint them on and if anyone looks to close tell them to get a life and swear at them too. My sister had some sort of fungus and had a bunch of her toenails removed ouch, I don't know how she did it. Freaks me out, funny thing is we are hoping to go north in June and she's getting a pedicure, Ididn't laugh but wanted to. So she's going to just have fakes painted on.
Deb sorry about your blood count, I took probiotics and they helped but I don't know if they upped my counts they just hlep me feel better. I've been giving acidophilus to my cat in hopes that his bad breath goes away.
New Vickie I get you with the energy levels I hate it so much, everything is so much harder than it used to be I have to do everything in bits it's horrible.
Chemosabi, sorry about your hands my feet have been doing it my hands are such a mess I don't even care anymore, but feet gross me out so when I cream them I have to use my feet to rub it in looks stupid but I hate touching feet always have, I don't know how someone could do that for a living.
Okay my bitch for the day the fkg water meter reader went by my house and didn't even ring the doorbell and I can hardly read the numbers tried to yell him back but he ignored me. I calling city hall now, to BITCH. Pear. Oh yeah still waiting to shit the only good thing about it is I'm losing the chemo weight as I'm afraid to eat much. Everyone have a good day.
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Pearl: Yes, I'm having problems with my teeth post-Taxol. This is the second one I've had break in two. But I'm not sure if it's the Taxol or just any chemo that does this. They explained at the dentist that chemo makes your mouth dry and that's actually what damages the teeth. Evidently our saliva protects the enamel.
Sorry about the meter reader and your chronic constipation. Did you try the molasses in warm water yet?
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