Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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((((((((((((Vickie))))))))))))))
I'm happy that I didn't offend. I couldn't help myself. I was having one of those crappier than crappy days and I came online to vent and I saw your thread and was like ugh...
...I don't wanna dance damn it, I can't sing worth a crap and I'm mad at my OAOA!!!! 
Hugs back at you!!Traci
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This kind of sums it up for me some days.
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Love the kitty. Totally and completely EXCELLENT.
I feel your pain, girls. I love this thread. It's the REAL thing.
God bless you all,
Christine0 -
OK, my turn.
I hate that this friggin disease has made my life miserable for the past 8 years!!
First it was my DH's dx of NHL in Aug of '00. Then my bc dx in Aug '06. Followed by another biopsy in Aug '07. Which leads to yet another biopsy next week, but not before my DH has his second treatment because of a relapse of his NHL!!!
We are so done with being poked and prodded. Sometimes I think its never going to end.
Then I read of all the people here who are suffering and I just want to SCREAM!!!
I hate this friggin disease with a passion. In the past month alone 3 people I know have told me someone they know has been dx with one form of it or another.
WHEN DOES IT END!!!
Thanks Traci for being brave enough to start this thread, it couldn't have come at a better time.
Valerie
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That sucks Valerie. All of it. And.....Three people in one month.
I've know two. (In Feb & March) Not to mention our sisters on here that are suffering. You're right! It friggin' SUCKS! .....Deep sigh.... I do not want to piss anybody off...remember... no personal attacks...but, it is exhausting to think about 8 years from now feeling the way I do now. I applaud you girls that have done so good and I hope with all my being...I am still bitchin' 8 years from now.
Traci
ps That is a cat???? No way! LOL! I want one!
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I think this thread should be linked with the dreamers thread...we can pretend, wear rose colored glasses, bury our heads in the sand in one and bitch, whine and complain in the other LOL.
Oh I could do soooo much whining. Gonna go find my rose colored glasses for today though...gotta put on the happy face or I'll hear "are you ok" ten thousand times...
I really hate that question too...do they want the truth...I don't thinks so.
I like the cat too...heehee
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First of all someone mentioned having a runny nose all the time. Thats me - and I never thought to connect it to chemo. Thought I suddenly developed allergies.
Traci, yes Im also getting a good chuckle despite all the serious stuff we are talking about. I have learned that when people ask me how Im doing - I say GREAT, just like Tony the Tiger - cause thats what people expect from me. If I sat down and told them the truth they would go running away. At least we can come here and talk about our true feelings and sometimes it aint so great.
Most days I feel like this!
Nicki
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Nicki, I think I have that same black cloud over our house too. Good thing for caller ID or else I would be picking up the phone from every bill collector from all this bills I have wracked up from this never-ending recon surgery.
Yesterday's fill really hurt! I had read about all the terrible aches and pains from some of the gals and I thought, Gee I am so lucky. But yesterday, it was apparently the first time I was really getting the skin to stretch. When they removed the implant in August, they left a skin flap. Now that is filled up and "we" (the PA can't be serious saying that?) are stretching "our" skin. I don't know, I don't see anyone but ME feeling that pull and the burning pain while the needle pierces the pectoral muscle. Well, #6 down and I am not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel yet.
Best yet, is the "team" of docs are not sure if they want me on Tamoxifen or an AI. I can't go on Tamox if I am getting stuck every week because of my proclivity to blood clots. I am already fat so what will I look like taking the meds?
Thank goodness I have my Vicodin and Xanax. I didn't want to start with Ambien again since it makes me too loopy....as if I am not already! My GP suggested taking Benadryl (the generic at Sam's Club is really cheap) and I have now added it to my meds at night. It is also helping with the runny nose problem too.
Traci, glad you started this. I feel so guilty complaining but we can do that here! Now back to bed with me and cuddle with my kitty!
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Ok so now that I have the stick to bitch ..................ok here i go had to take a deep breath! Im SOOOOO TIRED of people giving me the evil eye when I go to rads! We are lucky cause we get our own parking spots and our own door to go into to by pass the rest of the hospital so every day for the last 3 wks someone has question me! "You know this is a private entrance right" EHHH DUH stupid is what I want to tell them cause if I had a choice not to have cancer I wouldnt be spending my time in here with yall every damn day! Than they have the nervous to be friendly and ask well how old are you tell them just turned 24 an drum roll please (here is there answer) OMG!!!! You are so young! I know I am but Cancer doesnt discrimanate to ANYONE! okay just had to get that out love this thread!
TRACI YOU ROCK AS ALWAYS! WOO HOO!
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Hey Nicki - you stole my cloud!!!
Valerie
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Okay, since you guys are forcing me to complain, I guess I'll comply.
First of all let me say that I have thoroughly enjoyed all the bitching here thus far. We are bitchin'!!
Okay, here goes. I finished chemo last summer ('July '07). I guess around 6 months after that something terrible was going on with my joints. Mostly my ankles, my right knee and right shoulder. Some mornings, I can barely hobble to the bathroom before I have tears running down my legs.
At work, I walk around wincing with each step. I'm fat (of course) so I do this waddling - wincing combo through the building to get where I'm going. I have no clue what is going on. I can only assume that the chemo ate my joints.
At the moment, my lymphedema is flared, so my therapist is having me wrap until I can get a new, better fitting sleeve. This adds to my beauty while doing my gimp walk. I look like I've been mugged or something.
I should add that some days I have very little pain. My friends keep telling me the rainy weather is regulating my pain, but I see no such correlation. As soon as I discover what causes the good days, I'll be on it!
I won't even get into how Herceptin screwed my heart and now I can't take the miracle drug that is saving everyone else. I'm supposed to be excited to be finished with treatment, but I'm finished because I can't take my needed treatment? Yay!??
Okay, I'm done for now. I'm gonna go flop my body into the tub and get ready to head to the dentist. The least I can do is top off this gorgeous body with a sparkling smile.
Miss S0 -
I'm another who will not really "move beyond" (in this life, anyway) because of my stage IV status, but I couldn't resist the urge to post about a couple of major irritations:
1) To the cranky old bat who stood in the school parking lot with your arms crossed an shooting daggers at me with your eyes, YES, I have a RIGHT to use the handicapped placard that was requested by my physician and dispensed by the state. Just because I don't *look* disabled to you does NOT mean that walking an extra 1/4 mile from the parking lot to teacher conferences is something I can do. Oh, and that "handicapped spot" I parked in? How thoughtful of the people who laid out the parking lot to place the only two handicapped spaces right next to a sewer grate. Now THAT'S not going to be a problem to someone in a wheelchair, is it? GRRRRRRRRRRRR!
2) To everyone who thinks they are being supportive when they tell me, "Your color looks good," please know that it doesn't really help. My "color" looks good because I spent an hour putting ON color that I BOUGHT in several tiny little bottles. If you saw my "color" when I wake up in the morning, you wouldn't think it was so "good".
3) To the nosey, snipey, b-word who came out to gawk at the cancer girl the other day at soccer registration: BITE ME. You are only ONE MAMMOGRAM AWAY from being where I am.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH....much better.
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I wonder if daylight savings has messed with me, I had the luck to wake up a 5 a.m. with a migraine, haven't had one in years and it still hurts can't even look out of the window. What next.
And Traci, I couldn't leave the dog in the bedroom either, can you leave her one of your animated emails of a dog begging for a walk or would that make her angry. Poor dog, why the hell does she have one if she's not taking care of properly, dogs need to be walked everyday. And the cigars, let me come over and ream her out for you. Just kidding, but really nothing is worse than a dumb roomate.
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3) To the nosey, snipey, b-word who came out to gawk at the cancer girl the other day at soccer registration: BITE ME. You are only ONE MAMMOGRAM AWAY from being where I am.
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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LOL! WOW ! I CANT STOP LAUGHING LOVE THAT ONE MAMMO AWAY LINE!
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LOL! WOW ! TRACI I CANT STOP LAUGHING LOVE THAT ONE MAMMO AWAY LINE! 0
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LOL! WOW ! TRACI I CANT STOP LAUGHING LOVE THAT ONE MAMMO AWAY LINE! 0
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SORRY IT POSTED TO MANY TIMES LOL!
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HAHAHAHAHAHA! It must have really got you going, CRC! That horrible woman has been a thorn in my side for quite a while. I took wicked pleasure (Lord forgive me) in thinking that line "at" her!
((((HUGS))))
Diane0 -
God has a sense of humor badboob its okay! You heart is so pure he knows!
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Diane....I just had to explain to the people I was having lunch with....why without notice I suddenly burst out laughing at the table! That was soooooooooooooooo funny!!!
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Uh oh, tracy....I hope margarita didn't shoot out your nose!
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LOL!
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i have to join in..... 3 months after finishing a year of this sh** I get a bad report on my first follow up. Mammogram found a mass in your good breast and a swollen axillary lymph node. I'm really pissed as I wanted that breast taken off with the other one. Since I'm triple neg..doc says if it is cancer will most likely be a new primary one. WTF..... What really gets me is I'm going to MDAnderson and... in my own mind took much comfort knowing that they are #1 in the field... but let me tell you....you have to jump thru hoops for those people... you have an onc, onc nurse, scheduler, patient advocate, social worker, business center cooridinator but try to get any of these people to work together for you and you might as well forget it.... It seems like no one knows what the other one is doing and the scheduler... she just doesn't know jack sh** about her job....... Oh and the hair.... and your skin color looks so good. Oh you look good with the extra weight. WHATEVER!! I could go on and on. Thanks for the vent forum... really needed it. I'm totally stressed about the possiblity of another cancer.
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oh man................that worse than sucks. I don't like hearing that at all.....look at our dx's...almost identical. I would have a real hard time resisting screaming at some people there.
GAWD....................that really f*ing sucks. It amazes me the different opinions we all get from our dr's. Did you test for BRCA?
Traci
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Hi ladies,
I'm newly diagnosed and trying to keep a smile on my face. I'm glad there is a place to vent.
Ro
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wow Traci... our diagnoses are very similar. I've not tested for BRCA... I'm just so pissed that my docs dismissed my wishes to have the other breast removed at the same time, and pissed at myself for not insisting. Their reason... in case I wanted reconstruction I would have a better outcome by doing it all at once. I even told them if immediate reconstruction was not an option I would not want to go back and do it. Turns out I was not a candidate for immediate reconstruction because I apparantly have such dense breast that when I lay down my "good" breast doesn't fall to the side enough and I had to have radiation to my chest wall. Its a big ole cluster f**k.
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Welcome rdawud! Sorry you have to join our group this way! BC.org is one of the best things that has happened to me cause any question you ask these men and women can answer. So whatever you want to say or question you ask PLEASE feel free!
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I have gained 50 pounds...I feel like I am 70 (I'm 46).
I am tired of taking pills every fricken' day.
I hate when doctors tell you "___________ is not a se of the treatment"
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mmc,
I so hope your biopsy comes back B9. I agree with traci -- your story is way beyond "sucks"...
I'm p1$$ed off on your behalf.
Ann
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