Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Okay I just remembered, when I was dx I was sick of everyone saying that it will be okay!!!! When they have NO idea what they are talking about!!!
I cried like a baby one night pissed at all of my friends and family not understanding and my hubby said what do you want them to say? I told him they should say "I am soooo sorry you have to go through this!" That is it!!! Very simple do not tell me about Aunt whatever or your co worker etc... Just say your sorry I have to go through this and move on.
We do not have the crystal ball to tell us those with just LCIS or DCIS, the "good cancer", that they will not be in the 3% recurrence and die or the stage 3 or 4 that they will against the odds beat this sh*t. As some have proven in the past and will keep proving 3 or 4 can make it!!!!! We just have the hear and now and the stress!!!
One can not truly understand this crap called cancer any kind of cancer unless they have walked the walk with themselves or someone very close to them!
It all sucks and it is so unfair to take our normal lives and turn it into stress worry and depression, because we do not have that crystal ball!
I for one find it very hard to have someone tell me I did not have real cancer because it was DCIS! Oh yeah I agreed to cut my boobs off for the hell of it! Now let me throw in doing a total hyster/ooph so I can go through surgical menopause just for the shear joy of it all!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is my rant for the night! People do mean well. As the girl in the cancer rant put it no one would wish this crap on anyone and only someone dealing with cancer can truly understand that statement!
Love you all! You certainly make this SH*T alot easier!
Dani
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PS- I hope I did not offend anyone with my post!! Just venting!
Daniella
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Here's my rant for the day...........
So I'm sitting at work spaced out from med's I got from my biopsy yesterday and DH calls and tells me one of our dogs is sick. She's been throwing up and has diarrhea. The problem is she's psychotic in the car and it takes 2 of us to go to the vets. But DH has someone coming over to look at a bike he wants to sell because we need the money since he is out on disability with his lymphoma. And we need to get her to the vet tonight because DH has treatment #3 tomorrow and doesn't want to come home to a mess. So I get home from work and decide I'll take the dog by myself even though my boob is swollen and I flying on med's. Well I manage to get there and back ($100.00 poorer) and find out the guy wanting the bike called and asked to reschedule!!!
Sometimes it doesn't pay to get out of bed in the morning................
Valerie
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Ladies , all I can say is
I start reading , and am so mad that people can be sooo cruel. Then I keep reading and I'm lmao because you ladies are so funny.Seven years of hot flashes!!!!?WTF!
Well , maybe all the sweating will help keep my skin youthful.lololololololol I hardly wear make-up anymore , it just ends up on my chest! Maybe yoga would help...Or maybe sitting in the truck with gsg would make me feel better. I can take a head count as you drive 
. Thanks for posting the link for the cancer rant. That was great. Kiki and all feel free to use the coupon I gave you! Suckin hugs to all. Mel0 -
"Or maybe sitting in the truck with gsg would make me feel better."
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh man, Deb....your story...LMAO!!! You guys make me laugh!!
Here's my bitch for the day.....THE IRS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Turbo Tax sure does make it easy to see how much you owe the son's-o-bitches!!
Ambiem here I come!
C y'all tomorrow.
(((hugs))) Traci
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debbie - re: 4 inches + deb- re: little old man lady
oh, laughing so hard I was wheezing and crying, oh, my aching sides...thank you SO much for that! we may have to start handing out prizes for the best laugh of the day... something priceless about the contrast with how much things suck....
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Gawd, there's so much to catch up on every morning, but about the 4 inch purple lips, whoa! (glad you can laugh now but what a shock!). And "little old man lady" made me laugh too. I have a 2 year old who thinks out loud and describes everything she sees.
Regarding things people say to you..., before I was diagnosed with BC, I went up to a co-worker who I'd heard had it and said (sympathetically, I thought), "I heard you have breast cancer." She acknowledged without looking at me. I went on to say, "It's very curable, you know." I don't remember what she said back, but I'm sure she wanted to slap me!
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I would have deserved it.
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Today is starting out good. I dont have anything to bitch about! Whew.
First I just want to send a big hug to everyone. You have no idea how nice you made me feel this morning. So Im sending big hugs to you all.
Dani: Your post wasnt offensive. Its was truthful. It always irks me when someone says just DCIS or that its not really cancer. Well I had multi- focal DCIS and in addition a 3 cm tumor. Wish I would have caught it in the early stages. So I say - You go girl.
Valerie: Oh goodness! And you cant even get angry at DH cause he is going through treatment.
Mel: This is one of my favorite places to visit and you made me giggle this morning.
Maire:
So many more to hug, but I must hit the showers. Have a good day. I will be moaning and groaning all day cause I sure wish it was Friday.
Nickster
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Hi Gang,
I just read the cancer rant. Well said. I think we have discussed a lot of that on this thread.
I went to bed last night about 6pm feeling bad. Apparently I have picked up some type of bug. I have a stopped up nose, fuzzy head and just feel like sh*t. I had to call into work again!!!!!! And I only work part time. I hate that because a sense of responsibility is very important to me. I hate that I never know how I am going to feel from one day to the next.
I am finished with my chemo and yes, I am very happy for that. But I am far from being well. Listening to you ladies who have finished, it will be some time before I feel well again. I am tired of people telling me, but you are finished with chemo. Aren't you better now? NO! The chemo is not out of my system. For 6 months, I have been having toxins poisoning my system. I don't get better in 3 weeks.
Sorry.....I just hate feeling bad again and calling into work. It just sucks. It is raining. My house is a mess. I have painters coming next week and I don't have the energy to pack up 3 bookcases full of books so we can move them. I wish I could go somewhere and come back with my rooms already painted.
I could go on...but I would be a running pity pot...Thanks for being here.
Debbie
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Okay. I've not b*tched about this whole trial as yet. Mostly been happy to carry this torch if it means 7 others in my family (mom, sisters, neices and cousins) won't have to go through it! I figure 1:8, I'm the one, they are the other 7, right? So, I've never said or thought, YME?
So, lately I'm really sick of being sick anymore! I was done with chemo on feb. Since then.....
1) My hands broke out in pimple type thingys most like from the steriods we are given. It's a psoriasis type crap that will come and go for life now
Great... A new doc? Dermo! Never had before.2) I've had athletes feet (NEVER in my life have I suffered from this before)
3) Add to that, I think I have a plantars wart b/c my foot hurts to walk and there's like a stone in my sock/shoe. Can't see anything, but what else could it be? Hoping the new derm on the 14th can tx it
4) I have palpatations and SOB, never had before.
5) I have a tachy heart rate and need to see a cardio guy. Great, ONE more doc to add to this every growing list! Never had before.
6) Recent blood tests show an rise in calcium and sed rates? WTH?
7) AND NOW! I have high cholestorel! What's that all about? Another newbie!
8) My shoulder is frozen now from the surgery last fall and can't get it to loosen up
Never had a problem before mast.Then the normal things, most of us are dealing with:
My head is bald
lethargy some times
Sick of being sic and wondering about being sic.....what is it now?
Shirts don't fit right now. They pull to the affect side
Worried about lymphedema and the what ifs?
Recurrence worries?
Can I just say, I REALLY NEED it to warm up, but not enough that I can't wear a hat/scarf outside to work in my gardens? SPRING PLEASE?????????? COME and save us all!!!!!!!!!!!
I WAS healthy before this diagnosis! What happened to my healthy feelings? Will I ever be back to feeling like life is happening and not the opposite! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then..........................I come on here, rant and rave and read about everyone else's lives and I'm am every thankful that I can come on here and be with friends and rant and rave and be thankful for them!
Okay, just ignore this thread! I'm feeling munch better and ready to tackle another day!
This is the bestest of threads!
And I didn't even mention the unmentionable of sexual problems, so be glad today too!
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debbie-sorry to hear you are not feeling well, i can relate, i ended chemo april 07 and i did'nt start feeling better until august and even then i always felt off, only now a year later do i feel 80% back to normal, what made me angry is that the f...g oncologist said that within 2 months i would have 80% of my energy back that was a big fat LIE! everyone is different, but for me, it took 6months to get 60% of my energy. now i'm on tamoxifen and i hate taking chemicals never have, i feel different and very depressed, will i ever feel great again? anyway hang in there, slowly but surely you will feel better, i know how you feel about calling sick to work, i too missed alot of days, but don't worry about it, your health is the most important and the more you rest the better.
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i have a moan today, i have a job interview at 5pm, i've been out of work for 3 months, i have not had an interview in one month, i'm not keen about the place that i am interviewing at, but i really need a job, i hate all the prep that goes into interviewing and the fact that i can't fit nicely into any clothes. also i work in the fashion industry and i know that this person will be carefully looking at what i'm wearing and how i look and will most likely judge my weight, i know i'm jumping the gun here, but i know what some LAMO's are like in the industry. wish me luck, i need some prayers here. thanks franca
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Franca,
Best of luck with your interview. "Own" the clothes you choose to wear today! Show them that there's more to you than an outfit. Yes, the fashion industry is tough, but YOU are tougher. Go get 'em girl...work it!
Linda
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linda,
thanks for the words, i'll be working it!
hope you are well today...
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Mel: LOL. You can ride "shotgun" with me. Welcome aboard.
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GSG - we can hijack my dh's semi. Can you drive a straight super 10?
Sheila
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Nicki, that was beautiful. Will you continue to write the story? I want to hear more.
Maire - OMIGOD, what the ........ That co-worker is gonna catch some BAD Karma.
Kiki - what an idiot! Totally clueless.
My rant for today: my dh (and no, that D does NOT stand for Dear today) decided he "needed a vacation" so will be going to Japan for 10 days RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY RADS! Sucks.
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Hi Gang again,
WishIwere; I have the same heart problems, SOB, tachycardia, and palpitations. I have had my cardiac enzymes checked and a MUGA and everything is ok. so why am I having problems???
Do you really have athlete's foot or is it just the peeling from chemo. Taxotere made my feet peel really bad. After I got out of the shower, I would spend 10 minutes with cuticle scissors just cutting dead skin off my feet. Thank goodness it has finally cleared up. My swollen legs and ankles are just beginning to go down.
I have not been able to work in my garden for more than 30 min to 1 hours. I used to spend 6-8 hours in it doing heavy stuff. Now I can barely get a few weeds pulled. And I really need to weed. But my phlox, cherry trees, tulips, pansies, and red buds are all in full bloom. The daffodils are finally gone. I would really like to get out and enjoy the garden but it has been raining for 3 days. And I feel like crap so I just want to stay in bed.
BC Sucks. Chemo Sucks. Lingering SE sucks. LE sucks. People who expect you to be all better right after you last tx suck. My constant complaining sucks. Enough!
Debbie
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Calypso....Should we all wish for DH to get some bad sushi while he is there??? That would fix his selfish wagon!
Today my bitch is MONEY! I am now worried I will live long enough to bankrupt my family. I don't know why I chose today to obsess about this....maybe because I just found out my chemo costs over $30,000 a MONTH! At that rate I will reach my insurance cap in just over 2 years....then what??? I guess I should just be happy that for now, my insurance covers it.
Deb C
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Sheila: If I'm mad enough I can drive anything. Get in.
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gsg, I have watched him drive it, if I could reach the pedals I would drive it!
My groan for the day, I know it's not much compared to others but it got me going. I got a letter today from the mammography center stating that based on my bilater digital diagnostic mammo performed on April 9, 2007, it is time to schedule a routine screening mammo. This is especially important because of a personal history of BC and a personal history of high-risk lesion on a previous biopsy...I don't have any boobs left to do mammo's on!!! I don't need reminders of the third failed mammo - first two were ADH.
I did call and inform them that they don't need to send me any more reminders. They did apologize for sending the letter to me and will make a note in my file that I no longer have any boobs.
Also, I got not 1- not 2- but 3 cancer newsletters from the local hospital. I will let the support services coordinator who handles the mailing lists that I was triplicated on that list.
Sheila
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Vent..
Went to work commando for the first time ( no wig ) it had been 11 weeks after last chemo, I had even buzzed off some of the white fuzz.. colored my hair to brown( it was all salt pepper).. put on lots of makeup.. dressed up and went to the office feeling great that I was looking good ( hell I was even expecting 'GREAT !') my short hair being a fashion statement probably maybe even looking chic !
Well here comes of the executive gals and she goes :
" Good for you, several years ago people would be scared to go out with chemo hair nowadays it shows that one has courage to go out bald"
WTF !!!! compared to what I had 2 months ago ( or what I did not have ) I HAVE A RAIN FOREST GROWING on my head !
Maybe I was in denial thinking that my hair does look normal but still I got really upset.
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Geez Deb ... guess you better get dancing with NED "right quick" (that's how they say it in the south)!! Where's the pic of your mohawk BTW? Remember .. you're my miracle girl.
Sheila - I keep getting those same letters from my center too. But I still have boobs. I guess they forgot I already had cancer.
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Deb, what was she thinking! I guess because she did not see you bald, she had nothing to compare the new you to. Just remember, it will keep growing, and she won't be able to say anything.
I had bilat mast with implant recon so I would not have to worry about it. I had enough of abnormal mammos resulting in biopsies and surgeries. (Jan 2005 left breast ADH, Aug 2006 right breast ADH, April 2007 right breast DCIS) It seems that since I had the bilat surgery in their hospital, they would have sent the records of the surgery to the mammo center. They had records that I had the ADH previously in the computer.
This is the same center that gives my mom her single mammo (right mast) but charges her the same as for a bilat mammo.
Sheila
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Here you go Aylin!!!
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Traci, unbelievable! You are a hop, skip and a jump from me in Grand Prairie!!!! I live in Bedford, the "Metroplex"!!! Between Dallas and Fort Worth! And you are moving here the best time of the year....right around the start of our long, hot summers and I mean that in a good way...I love the summer, starting to hate the spring, as we are constantly under thunderstorms and tornado and hail threats...as a matter of fact, we are under the gun for some nasty ass storms tonight!
Oh, and I've got an inground pool....we can lounge around and sip whatever poison you prefer!!! Keep in touch!
No bitch today, except for the weather, when it gets here.
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tigeek- Yeah I like Traci's video! Just punch her in the nose!!!
Sheila- So I guess I should expect the notices soon!!!HAHA! I was monitored every 6 months for 11 years April and October my scan times. So any day now.......
Deb C- Try not to worry abut the money part. Be glad they are covering it now. Plan on being here!!!!!!!!!! Aren't the organizations like Susan Komen and Avon suppose to help people who are not insured or have run out of insurance??? I hope so, I just had to withdraw from the Washington DC Avon Walk because of my upcoming surgeries. Guess Dr thinks walking 30+ miles is not good one week out of hyster/ooph surgery! LOL! But I swear they told me some of the money goes into helping those uninsured or underinsured. Maybe someone else will know the answer to that or have some other resources you can look into. Best of luck!
Daniella
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Dani, I have been monitored every 6 months since my first failed mammo Jan 2005, sometimes I would have to call the surgeon's office to remind them that it was time for my mammo. Since I was under his care, the mammo place would not let me schedule my own mammos, they had to be scheduled by his office. I will just add this letter to my growing file of BC paperwork.
Sheila
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