Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Hi All,
Alaska Deb, you can cross that bridge when you come to it. Meanwhile if you want to be proactive, contact Social Services. If you do run out of insurance, you may qualify for Medicaid or if you want to go on disabity, Medicare. There should be some type of help out there.
Funny, I had cancer 21 years ago and then you got to stay in the hospital for 10 days after surgery and 3 days for each of my arterial chemo tx. I also had 2 7 day hospitalizations due to complications from my 6 chemo tx.I had my right jaw removed and 10 reconstructive surgeries. Total Cost: Less than $70,000.
I am over $70K with a lumpectomy, dbl mast, and 8 chemo. I have only had a 23 hrs obs for my mast. Adriamycin used to cost $140 a pop. Now it is over $1500. They did not have Neulasta then but that shot cost $6000 and the aranesp cost $4000. I had 6 Neulasta and 6 aranesp.Back then, I got fired from my job and was able to get on disability and got Medicare/Medicaid.
Debbie
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Bad sushi? Hahaha Im laughing hard at that one. Just remember everyone there is always an avenue, you hit a road block and another road opens. Live for today, tomorrow will come soon enough.
I have many more good stories. I will share later.
Hugs to everyone who had a bitching day.
Nickister
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Aren't the organizations like Susan Komen and Avon suppose to help people who are not insured or have run out of insurance???
Dani, yes they are supposed to help but I called them because my insurance lapsed because the company I worked for filed bankruptcy, which means no Cobra for me. They gave me a bunch of useless phone number's to follow up on which I did, and they gave me more phone numbers to call. I wasted over two weeks calling all of the number that they gave me, they offered me wigs, food, childcare & even a dog walker. I finally gave up and now, I have insurance but I have a month that will come out of my own pocket. As everyone quotes on here Cancer the gift that keeps giving.
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Franca,
Thinking about you and sending good vibes your way...
Got my fingers crossed for a great result to your interview.
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Diana63, that's so sucky. I'm sorry.
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ok, now i need to vent, i had my interview, i interviewed for a buying position in a clothing shop in nyc, anyway the owner was so wierd, he was smoking a cigar, WTF, it was the wierdest interview i've ever had, he looked like he was on drugs and seemed so bored while i was talking at the end he asked me for references, i said i'd get back to him, i don't think so! i'm not interested. oh and the offices were in the basement of the store, surronded by boxes and rat traps and three people crammed into a 4x4 room. i desperately need a job, but this would be pushing it, i came out of there smelling like cigars and coughing. uuuuughhh. what's wrong with people? and i think he should be audited for poor working conditions!! geez.
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Minor suckage here. Onc just called, I'm no longer post-menopausal. No good option for hormonal control for me....
dare I say it....I was SO ENJOYING not having hot flashes. Ok, that may make some of you want to hit me, but you get my point.
It sucks having to choose protecting one's life over quality of life (and over being capable of producing life for that matter).
For those who have mets, I know this small gripe probably seems petty, petty petty, but I just wanted to be better and have it all! Whine. Whine. Whine. Going home to drink some wine in fact. Oh yeah - can't do that. Right - liver enzymes are up. Sigh....
Call me grumpalafagous.
On the positive side, maybe I DO have a chance at fertility. Probably not, but....call me crazy, but I thought my chances were long gone.
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bluesky - sheesh, sorry that the interview sucked! You most definitely do not want to work there, that sounds like hell. Things that start out bad usually don't get much better. Hang in there - something better WILL come along.
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amya-thanks for your note, yeah no way i'm working there.
i do have a question for you, last august my estradoil measured as post menopausal, i was wondering if there was a chance that i would be premenopausal again, i'm 43 and have been done with treatments for one year, how long were you post and then back to pre??
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tigeek, You are beautiful I'm sure! I read your post and think nothing but beauty and one proud lady! That woman (exec) or whatever she calls herself, sounds like one not so happy lady! That or she's one of those that the office jokes are made for....you know, the ones' where they open their mouths and everyone jaws drop? Never saying anything worth the time to listen? I bet you looked like a million bucks! Rest well KNOWING you do!
A~ I've read your posts on insurance and know in my heart you're going to outlive those caps, so we need to do some research on how to keep you covered for medical for the next 50 years! Anything we can do? Letters, research? Let me know, K? {{hugs}} dear!
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blue sky - only for a month, great question, guess it shouldn't be such a surprise.
alaska deb, the ins. cap sure does suck. happens in the pediatric liver transplant community quite often, and the general solution is to change jobs to another group plan. families plan career moves around insurance caps actually. the whole system sucks.... so sorry.
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Hey Gals, took me 3 days to read this and I wonder what took me so long to find it.
I've laughed, cried, gotten mad, and wanted to reach out to each of you between each emotion.
What amazing writers you are---what amazing women you are.
This is THE thread this board needed. No sappy remarks and cyber hugs, no lets' look on the bright side.
cancer sucks the big one.
And you all are making it day by day or hour by hour.
(I don't know how to turn off the bold and the rest of the crap.)
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Debbie and wishiwere, it sucks that you are both having so many issues after treatment is supposed to be over. Again...the gift that keeps on giving"!
Bluesky, a cigar!?!?! The clothes must smell wonderful!
Calypso, he better be going there to get a big raise or bonus. Otherwise I might be tempted to go to Vegas or perhaps Hawaii while he's away (that's what credit cards are for)!!
Trigeek, I can so relate to that. I went out recently with my dh and friends. My friend and I were up dancing and I thought I was looking pretty good with my 1" of hair. I turned around and two 20somethings were laughing their heads off at me. Made me feel like shit! Looking at your avatar you are a beautiful woman, hold your head high and know you are a better person! (Then secretly wish that she is struck with a bad case of male pattern baldness!!)
Diana that sucks to have to be worried about money during treatment. I guess I'm pretty damned lucky to live in Canada. Canada a great place to get cancer. We should advertise. Except that you don't get phone calls from your doc., and you don't have access to many of the tests like Oncotype, pet scans etc...
Marie hope everything is A OK at your 3 month. I just had mine and have the all clear to go back to work. Just not sure if I'm ready to face 25 6 year olds. (Too much energy for me right now!)
Amya, hot flashes are too much fun. First your hot then your cold. I think I'll need to install an industrial sized AC unit this summer!!
Hope I didn't miss anyone. Have a not so sucky day ladies!!
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Hey everybody,
Bluesky, maybe your interviewer was my roommates boyfriend! Did you say moving industry or fashion industry?
Your story makes me think of "the devil wears prada". Sorry girl. NEXT!!!!!Deb, if I knew, I forgot. Insurance "runs out"???? WTF????? OMG that pisses me off! GAWD........what next? Wait....forget I asked that.
Hey Dottie. Cheers.
I sure did wish I could do my laundry.
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hi traci,
lol, the guy looked exactly like the cartoon, his were bulging out of his head, he looked like a gangster, and yes it's the fashion industry, but this guy might as well have been working for the underground
smuggling department of drugs with offices in the basement, maybe he is related to your roomates boyfriend.
kiki-the clothes were upstairs so they did'nt smell, but my clothes sure did when i came out of there.
thanks for the good vibes everyone, i need a miracle to take place and find a job in the next three weeks.
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OK...I need to vent! My white count is still going DOWN!! My A/N is only .8 today....Grrrr.... Oh, and just for fun, because I am so immune compromised I am getting big puss-filled white headed pimples all over my face. The onc nurse told me that it is staff germs from my own body and I'm not supposed to pop them. How gross is that? This is my week off chemo and I am spending the weekend on avoiding people because of counts. I hate cancer.
Deb C
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deb c-so sorry to hear this. hang in there, things will get better soon.
i hate cancer too!
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I HATE CANCER TOO! That sucks big time Deb. BIG TIME! Sorry girl. 0
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Alaska Deb, that sucks. I had a .8 reading one time. My onc put me on prophylatic antibiotics to help out. Pus filled pimples????WTF. Never heard of that one except for my good friend who was on a trial drug. She poppped hers. I got something like that 21 years ago when I had to have a blood tranfusion. Hell yeah, I popped them. Then used Stridex. Do they make that stuff anymore?
You know it is enough to feel like crap, but then we have to look like crap.....all bloated, fat, bald, and now with pimples??? I think that would have put me over the top. Not saying you look like crap, but I know I did. I was an old fat man lady.
My bitch today is URI. I am hawking major mucus.....sorry guys.....I lost my voice this am and then expelled some mucus and it came back.....So now, I feel like crap, look like crap and I am disgusting with the farts, mucus and diarhea.
Debbie
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Dang it, Deb, you win. Pus, insurance, WBC, can it get any worse? Lord, I hope not. Does your BC/BX use what they actually pay for service in determining 1.5M? If so, you may be better off than you think. I freaked out when I saw that insurance was billed ~$100K for my rads - they paid only ~$20K+/- and that's all that went against my cap. It sucks. Big time.
I don't think the smell of cigars ever goes away. Ever.
My groan - there's been a war declared at work - my program against another area. I told the boss this is a hill to die on, but it's been a week and it's making me sick. Still, we are in the right.
While I don't have pus-filled pimples, my skin has gone to hell in a handbasket this month. Damn hormones or lack of hormones or whatever. I guess it will be back to prophylactic antibiotic horsepills since the hormones will never be right again.
It's the weekend, and there is a full bottle of wine in the fridge.
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Okay I'm sick of this shit. Every month, when I have to take my Actonel (for osteopenia) I feel like I've come down with the flu: achey, cold, hot, you name it. Almost like I felt after a chemo infusion. WTF? I had my oncol. appt. last week and told her of my symptoms. She told me to take Advil but they give me an upset stomach/cramps even when I take it with food..I'm ready for the big stuff. Vicodin!
To top that off, my dh heard through the rumor mill that there's going to be massive layoff's at his co. (he works for Toshiba and Disney just pulled out of HD DVD's to go with Sony's new blu ray DVD format!). Bastards. They're supposed to lay off sometime the middle of this month. And he's being such a Pr**k about it, snapping like a turtle at every little thing.
On a good note, tomorrow's my little boy's BD, and we're going to take him to his fave Tex-mex restaurant. I plan on having a few marguarita's to tide me over.
Anyone else taking bone med's?
That's all for now, over and out.
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I REALLY hate this Cancer crap...it SUCKS! My PS won't be doing my recon when I have my Mastectomy, (did I mention this is Mast #2???) on the 22nd. He wants me to wait until we have the final pathology report so I know that I'm ok. I'm a wee bit freaked out about how the flippin' Hell I got this again 7 1/2 months after ending chemo. Since I've had three surgeries in a year, he feels my body needs a long heal after the upcoming one. I agree, but I am so disappointed.
I had a major melt down last night and my sister confirmed my suspicion that I have PTSD. YA THINK?? I have a call in to a shrink I had recommended to me so I can go vent to a professional who can help me pick up the pieces. So much for being strong! THIS SUCKS!
Oh...and if one more person asks me how I'm doing I swear I'm gonna shake them by the shoulders and yell at them, "I have F#@&ing Cancer again, how the H@lldo you think I feel!" I wish I could get away with that without someone hauling me away in a white coat! I need a trip to MargaritaVille!
Linda
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Linda - that just SUCKS! You would be amazed at what you can get away with saying if you keep a straight face though....I had someone ask me how I was doing the other day (someone I really don't like who was just fishing for gossip) I looked her right in the eye and said:
You mean other than the fact that I am doing chemo for stage 4 cancer? And the fact that is is incureable? Other than that I'm feeling just peachy.
She just stood there while I walked away. I didn't get to shake her by the shoulders, but it felt damn good.....
Give it a try....
Deb C
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No bitch today, just
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
for everyone having a lousy day,
Valerie
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Fongool to Shelly the tech from my onco's office.
FONGOOL SHELLY!!
Shelly you no count fongool - IF you were a houseplant in my house I wouldn't water you ever!! I'd walk by with my clear glass water pitcher full of luscious, cool, spring water - and pass you right on by. I'd give ALL my other plants a nice long drink - but NOT YOU SHELLY!! Not a drop for you. Let your roots and your big suck up mouth just DRY UP. Because FONGOOL to you Shelly from my onco's office!!! FONGOOL YOU SHELLY
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hanna
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Thanks Traci, I feel better now.
hanna
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Ohhhhh...Fongool....I like the sound of that.....
There are several people I'd like to say that to.
She sounds like she sucks hanna. I'd let her dry up too.
Deb C
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