Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Felicia: Not getting paid sucks big time. When I got home from work and settled down I read the newspaper. CBS - channel 2 here in Chicago just got rid 3 reporters who have been around at least 5 years. I think thats when the reality of the economy hit me hard. So basically they got free advertising?
Maire: It amazes me - that some people can be so cruel. That girl at work really did deserve a bitch slap.
Kiki: I laughed when you referred to yourself as the Cleavers. I still watch reruns of that show. What a thoughtless thing to wear a Tshirt like that.
Thanks everyone for understanding what I was writing. When I got off the computer, my husband as usual said so whats up on the boards. He was even shocked it was 3 years.
My bitch for the day. A good friend got a PM from someone here telling her I was looking for pity from all of you. It wasnt pity. Just sharing a moment. Im glad many of you were able to relate and understand what I was trying to say.
Nickster
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Nicki, I thank you for sharing. And you know what, who cares if you were looking for a little pitty (not saying you were). Don't we deserve just a little every once in awhile from someone who's "been there"? Don't you even worry one minute about that. My bitch for the day is people who have nothing better to do than to try to make other people feel bad!!
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Linda - I thought about you all day yesterday.....sending hugs again. You will make sure that your daughter gets her moments in the sun and she will draw strength from your battle. It is not the way you planned it and it is a HUGE BITCH that you have to do it this way. I'm sorry I didn't note on your dx that your are triple neg - I was just so blown away by your message that I didn't even look. My apologies.
Nicki - Your post was wonderful - thank you for sharing it. The line was mine too....I never asked why me, just asked for the strength to do everything I had to.
My bitch for the day is that I sick and tired of people who keep shoving survivors in my face. Yesterday we were at the funeral of dh's aunt (who did NOT die from cancer - wow what a odd thing these days) and people I had not seen in a while kept coming up to me and saying "my_______(fill in the blank) had BC ______years ago and she's doing just fine - you'll be fine too" OR "You finished chemo? Well, you won't have any problems with radiation - it's a snap" This from people who have NEVER done radiation.
How do these people know that I will be a survivor for _____years. I'm just happy each day that I wake up and happy each night that I go to bed that I have not yet found another lump. Yes, I know that there are many survivors and I'm happy to hear that, happy for that woman and hope to be a long time survivor myself but well-meaning people have to stop assuring me that I will get thru this, no problem and will be here another 50 years. They don't know this and I have to smile and say "yes, I will survive". It gets to be a drag after the first hundred times.
As always ((((((hugs)))))) Trina
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Trina, I get where you are coming from, having the same experience myself. I almost can't decide what's worse. The survivors in your face or the horror stories?!?
Linda ((hug)) hope you're hanging in there, my thoughts are with you and your family.
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My Bitch is........
not letting everyone know how good I am at this....
I Love my family and Friends.....
and I am very Proud to be a "BITCH"
WOW THAT FELT GOOD
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Puppy, love it!!
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Nikki- That was a beautiful story. Your line about "not why me but what now....", I felt that soooo much!
How do I cope how do I tell my children when just 9 months before their second Mom, my best friend, died of colon cancer and they all watched that progress for 2yrs 4mths,I was with her till the end. A few short years before their grandfather that was so close to all of them (spoiling Grandfather actually), he died of prostate cancer, we were all there that night and it was hard for children to understand my oldest was only 13 at the time and youngest just 7. This man they loved who took us to the beach for two weeks a year was a jokester and loved entertain the family! How could I convince my kids and husband that that is not going to be me.
Explaining the differences in staging of cancer,and cure rates when caught early, seemed to help the oldest of my five but my youngest who was not actually young he was 12 just new I would die!!!
Your words exactly "My life and theirs had changed forever!"
Thank you so much for sharing your story!
Traci- Love the you tube!!!! Hot Flash be gone!!! I will be picking up some fans at the local Walmart!!!!
Keep strong girls!
Bye,
Daniella
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chemosabi, unbelievable PM. your experience is your experience, not to be judged. what you feel is what you feel. can i just say that the judging that goes on here sometimes SUCKS?!!!
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Nikki, when i found out the results from the biopsy, I looked at them and said where do we go from here... And moved on...
We're all courageous and one hell of a group of women who are living our hell on earth...
There's so many morons out there,,, their time will come and then we'll see whose going to bitch, fight or just give into this nasty disease.... If it wern't for this group, a lot of women would have no place or the power of friendship to help cope..
Family is one thing but the power of us who are there, have went through this or the people who are starting thier journey..
And to all of our winged friend who have left us and are no longer feeling any pain....
Just my 3 cents
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Nikki,
Well that is to bad for the person who thought you were looking for sympathy, because your story touched me and I thought it was beautiful and in no way whining or looking for sympathy.
Hell ,all of us could look for sympathy, but what good would that do it doesn't change our lives back to NORMAL. I say the heck with sympathy and pity. We deal with what we have to deal with, right!!!
Although a little back rub from the hubby now and then is the kinda sympathy I will accept!! LOL!
Daniella
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Nicki: Loved your post. You described feelings we all can relate to. It's hard to put into words what a person feels like when their body betrays them..but you did it beautifully.
Kiki: Besides being tasteless and inconsiderate, what kind of a boob (Sorry, couldn't resist) wears a t-shirt like that to a CHILD'S birthday party? idiot.
Trina: I hate all those anecdotal stories too. I also hate it when a noncancer person says "Hey, I could get hit by a truck tomorrow." When I hear that, I want to be the person driving the truck.
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Nicki - we all know who we are dealing with and we all know not to believe a word they say. Your post was beautiful and heartfelt.
Congrats on the 3 years!!!
Love ya,
Valerie
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Nicki - your post had me dripping tears. It just said it all.
I appreciate when someone has a way with words like you have and can put words together to say what I feel too. For so very many of us, we claim those feelings too, and I thank you for writing them for everyone to read.
Hanna
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Trina and all,
There is a woman who wrote a "rant" about having cancer, and doing chemo, on craigslist. It is heartbreaking and funny and hopeful all rolled into one, and the best description of what it's like to go through cancer, particularly chemo - sort of a "how to" for people on what not to say. I don't know how to do links, but if you google: "craigslist best of cancer rant" you will find it. Some may find it a bit harsh, but it is so on the money.
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OK, I'm trying this, but I'm not sure it will work.
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GSG - LOL at "I want to be the one driving the truck" That was my #1 pet peeve of all the stupid things people say. I finally started responding (with a smile of course), "yeah, but, the difference is, if you want, you can just stay home, I don't have that luxury" which usually shut them up pretty fast.
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Hello my fella bitchers! Guess I'll clean up my past bitches and start my newest rant!
Thanks to all for the wonderful support of hugs, kind words and IT SUCKS! I love the Bitchology! Nikki...keep on sharing your thoughts!
I saw my PS and another one yesterday. Mine is going out of town for a month so I'm using the one who assisted on my TRAM. Anyway...if all goes well, fingers and eyes crossed, my Mastectomy will be on April 22 and I will have both expanders placed during that surgery. We went over all the "worse case" issues, but since I'm already flat on one side, what's one more! All I can do is move forward. Cancer SUCKS and I have to prove it doesn't get to take my soul! I love a good challenge!
OK...latest bitch...my ex hubby, (13 years divorced) father to 3 of my children, is taking me back to court on Monday to try and lower my daughters child support. Um...now??? She'll be 18 in August. Child support was set as a lump sum back then and not per child. A while ago he sent me a spread sheet that showed me what I owed HIM! Since the oldest two have turned 18 he feels that he deserves that money back.
After I read through all of his financial documents that were attached to the court documents, I see that he owes the IRS $11,000.00 and $1,600.00 in traffic fines for a DUI. How is that my issue or my daughters??? There's a page attached that asks what you are requesting and how it's in the best interest of the child. He writes about all his financial woes and nothing about my daughter.
Needless to say...I filled out all my paperwork and attached my own letter. I wrote that my daughter is entitled to all the celebrations that a graduating senior participates in. That includes Senior Ball, senior all-nighter, class Disneyland trip and banquet. I wrote how expensive Senior pictures and the announcements are. These are things she deserves. I also threw in the "Cancer card" and explained how she's had to watch me go through surgery and chemo and deal with some very emotional times.
Since I've filed the paperwork I've had two more surgeries, a recent diagnosis and an upcoming surgery. I can only hope the ex will have some compassion, yeah right, and not show up at court.
So there's my latest...ex's...you can't live with 'em...and you can't shoot 'em!
Linda
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I'm still trying to get over the very idea that someone had the nerve to say your post, Nicki, was all for sympathy. What?!? Who does crap like that?!?
I guess for an encore they will head over to the nursing home and kick the walkers out from some of the residents! There truly are some sick, sick people out there.
And, Linda, your ex sucks!!
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I just read the Cancer Rant. I could have wrote that myself! The part about weight gain cracked me up..."hit the gym"...yeah, right! I'm sending this to everyone I know so maybe, just maybe, they'll "get it" and understand what we go through...
Linda
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Sorry Linda ((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))
Traci, are you really moving to Dallas? I live about 20-30 minutes from there! Wouldn't it be great to get together and bitch in person?!
Ok, took my Actonel pill...one yesterday morning, and the second this morning......waiting for a bomb to go off....every month it's a different symptom.....last time, my bones, joints, muscles ached so much I felt like an old lady. This time, so far, I've been dizzy (well, dizzier than normal!
) and nauseated. And you cannot EAT anything while you take the damned things!Anyone else on bone medication? Oh, and I've got one contact lens in....my right eye is irritated from some shampoo that burned it this morning, so I'm typing with one eye closed.
Fongool.
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Linda,
I know, a friend sent it to me and said, "did you write this?"
I wish I knew how to contact this woman, I want to be friends with her! LOL
I think every onc should hand it out along with the rest of the "how to have cancer" pamphlets at your first appointment.
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Hey y'all.
They should make PM's for the exchange of regular email only. IMHO. What a bunch of CRAP.
Gotta tell ya....there are some funny people typing on this thread! LOL! Good thing we can all laugh at our misery!
Felicia....lol...."go over to a nursing home....." that's just wrong but made me lmao!!!
Laura, I am moving to Grand Prairie. I'm leaving here around 5/28 ish. I would love to get together with you! I only know a couple of people there so that would be awesome! And, I certainly don't have to be worried about dropping any F-bombs!!! LMAO! My office will be in Dallas however, only 10 miles from Grand Prairie and my sis lives in Cedar Hill.
: - ) Traci
ps I don't have a bitch yet today but....the day is still young!!
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the craigslist cancer rant is only the best thing ever!
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Um, Linda, if you posted the ex's address maybe someone could drive by and egg his house, car and him! What a dickhead. I would play the cancer card up the ying yang in court -
gsg - too funny about being the truck driver......I gotta remember that one.
cmb - I loved the cancer rant - how true. I'm printing it out and making copies......it'll be a good hand out.
My only bitch today is not really a "bitch" but it was funny. I stopped at the hospital to see an acquaintance since I was there for my rads and appt with the LE specialist - don't have L but my rads onc sends all his bc patients to get a boatload of handouts on how NOT to get LE. Anway, I stop at the check in desk to ask for a visitor pass the old guy at the desk says "how can I help you sir?" I thought "Sir"? but actually when I thought about it - bald, wearing a baseball cap, half of one eyebrow missing and a chunk of eyelashes on the OTHER eye gone - I guess actually he couldn't be blamed for thinking I was a not-so-good-looking DUDE! UGH
Thanks for a place to vent, Traci........
Trina
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Hi Gang,
This thread really rocks. Gone for 2 days and don't know where to start.
chemosabi/bluesky-thanks for the words of encouragement about the hair loss. One less thing to worry about.
Sam408-I lost a crown as well about 3 weeks ago. Not very pretty, fat, bald, and missing a front tooth. My dentist glued it right back on for free!
honeygirl-not to freak you out but I went through normal menopause early from prior chemo and had hot flashes for 7 years!!!!! HRT only stops it while you are on the meds. They come back and with HRT use down, BC is down. Just get yourself an old fashioned church fan and a dishtowel. They will be your constant companion. Also, forget the makeup. Go with powder.
Linda, love cafepress. I ordered some junior shirts which I did not realize were really pre-teen size. I ordered large and had to write to them and they sent me x-large for free and told me to keep the large! My girlfriend got a pr of thong underwear that says "Poke my Port". I got the shirt "yes, thier fake, but their still fabulous". Don't even have my foobs yet.
My bitch is I am suddenly getting car sick! Even when I drive. I am 3 weeks from my last chemo so that is not the culprit. I have learned to puke and drive at the same time. You take a grocery bag and tuck one handle in your shirt like a bib. Hold the other handle against the steering wheel and let her go. Works great. Just make sure the bags have no holes.
And I still have the lower leg swelling. Can't wear sandles.
Bluesky....about those hippo lips. When I was younger, I had to have chemo done arterially. Well, one time they did not get the artery closed and blood flooded into my stomach and groin. It pooled in the lowest place, my vaginal lips which hung down about 4 inches. After my mom got over the shock, she could not stop laughing. She loves to tell the story to this day and laughs all the way through it. Luckily, it all resolved but the blood stained the skin and for about 6 months, I had purple lips. I would not go to the GYN until it cleared up. Yes, it is funny now, Mom!
Enjoy the day.
Debbie
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Debbie, I just about spit my soda on the computer....purple lips! What a HOOT! Of couse, st the time I'm sure it sucked....but thank you for the much needed laugh!
Trina - I have to share a story about the first time I did chemo. I was bald as a cue-ball and right in the middle of a hot flash, so I took off my hat in the grocery store line. The lady in front of me had about a 2-year-old little boy in the cart and a baby in her arms that whas crying. The 2-year-old was standing int he cart looking at me. He kept saying "Mom...Mom....MOM!!!" Finally yelling trying to get her attention, all the time looking at me. She was trying to get the baby to stop crying so she just kept saying, "In a minute....". Finally the kid gets tired of waiting, so he points at me and at the top of his lungs shouts:
"What's wrong with that little old man lady?"
I started laughing and the poor mother turned about 20 shades of red and is trying to get the kid to shut up. I told her it was ok and ended up having a great conversation with the kid. He wanted to know if I was a man or a lady, I told him I was a lady but that I had to take some medicne that made my hair fall out. THEN I started thinking that the next time his mom tried to give him tylenol he was gong to freak out, so I told him it wouldn't happen to him. The whole time the Mom looked like she wanted to crawl under a rock. Actually, I still laugh when i think about it....little old man lady was pretty descriptive if you ask me....I actually resemble my great uncle Bud when I don't have hair.
You gotta keep laughing ladies....
Deb C
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So much in this thread! Where to start?!
Debbie, your 4-inch lips story sucks retroactively! And I would not be thrilled at my Mom continuing to laugh at it -- but I know she would! [She still laughs about me burning my nose on the toaster when I was 10 months old??!!!! WTF???]
Felicia, good one! siccing the bill collector who hounded you for medical bills on your clients! Sucks that you haven't been paid!
Nicki -- I can't believe the PM your friend got! Sick. Your post was beautiful.
Linda -- I agree, your ex totally sucks.
Traci! Sounds like your move to Dallas area WON'T suck!!!! But this thread's your party, and you can not-cry if you want to!!!!
xox to all
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OMG that was hilarious. I am able to feel you pain (been to the crazy roommate movie except mine was my soon to be ex husband) and was going through mast and starting chemo. You MUST allow honest venting. It comes in waves much like nausea but you gotta let it out! I am sitting on a train on my way home to prep for my second mastectomy (sixth surgery in two years.kill me now)and I am FREAKING out about the pain and disfigurement that awaits me. I don't let loose my anger in public but I have always relied on this board for allies. As my best friend often says of BC " that sh*t just ain't right". I am drinking a cosmo or ten to get to sleep tonight and will toast you Sister! Hey Jude
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cmb- That was the best cancer rave ever. Thanks for sharing!!
Traci-BTW did you not state there was to be no personal attacks between posters!!!
Someone was not listening!!!
Hey Jude- have a cosmo for me too!!
I love this thread!
You girls rock!!!
Daniella
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i love the craigslist cancer rant, thanks for sharing.
i don't have any bitching today, this thread helps,
it seems since i've been able to bitch so freely the
bitching has lessend (that's not even a word) lol.
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