Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Sometimes the IOS are just too much to take anymore. I'm having a problem with the skin underneath the rads boob, it's really sensitive and gets red by the end of a hot day. WTF?? I just had my 2 year cancerversary and have been all clear ever since, mammo and exam wise. Ever since this 'journey' started it seems like it's been one health issue after another. And I'm really tired of it all. I remember seeing the Onc after Rads and they were so casual, he even said, "see, this is ALL we are doing to you". He meant in the beginning of rads there were no side effects, I couldn't feel the radiation going in, couldn't see it, feel it, smell it... as if it were just a passing breeze that I had to disrobe for. Then, at the end.. he was showing me off to an intern and said, "this is the worst case scenario for rads". Showing my blistered raw breast and underarm as an example of All they were doing to me. then it ended. over. bye-bye, have a nice life. C-ya, wouldn't wanna BE ya. then appendix surgery, constant breast pain, osteoarthritis of the spine, IBS, Colitis, Depression, Fatigue and constant pain... Cervical neck discectomy and fusion. Just got a dx for hypothyroid, supposed to explain the fatigue. I feel like, whatever. Just keep on diagnosising me till I'm DEAD.
DAMN uncaring, non-listening Doctors. I left my PCP, and it was kinda funny. He started getting nicer and actually appeared to care by the time I was exhausted of trying to get his attention. I went to visit several 'new' PCPs and finally I found one that would look me in the eye and not just blow me off, and his staff is decent too. THANK GOODNESS for finally being able to stand up for myself and do what I felt was right for me.
Sorry, needed to vent and knew right where to go. Thanks for being here and I feel so badly for Saint missing the graduation. (((Saint))). I feel the sadness of missing it.
SUX. Really SUX. 0 -
Connie, ouch, hurts just listening to that description.
Navygirl: : ) thanks. Had to check in, I've been busy at work, but yesterday walked so much my neuropathy sent me into orbit this AM. So, I'm working from home today and at the computer. Lucky I happened to have a day I could do that, especially because tomorrow I'll be on my feet a lot again. Oh yeah, and for amusement counting the hot flashes. Got to love chemopause and tamox.
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Hello all! I think this is my first time posting here but I'm going to post a bitch and moan on behalf of a lady I met today at chemo. It was her first time ever and she came and sat next to me so we met and hit it off pretty good. I tried to reassure her as she was pretty darn nervous. Well the nurse accessed her port then as my infusion continued and she waited for hers to start, the nurse finally came back and told her her insurance wouldn't approve treament for another 24 to 36 hours!! So they removed the needle access and told her they would call when approval was given. My new friend was beside herself!
You'd think they'd find this stuff out before actually getting poked and scaring the bejeebeez out of her.
Pat
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Oh gosh..........that truly sucks.
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My heart breaks hearing these kinds of stories! No one should have to go thru this in the first place but to have it happen on the first visit...that just stinks.
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Good afternoon all.
My SOI for today - my mom turned 70 yesterday! Quite the milestone. She left this morning for an overseas trip for three weeks to celebrate with her sister. It will quite the party!
My IOS - her home was broken in to today after she left for the airport and was already on the plane.
That sucks!
Otter - I broke my toe while 7 months pregnant with my last child - swollen feet and a broken toe - a wonderful excuse to go barefoot!
Gentle Hugs
Trish
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Wow! Some great rants! And some realy big IOSses...IOSes...IOS's...IOSies?
Hugs to y'all!
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I have been trying for 3 days to get my PCP to call me back about my recent test results. When I called (again) today, the receptionist told me she didn't have the reports. I ALWAYS get copies of ALL my reports, so I simply said, "Oh, really? What's your fax number, I'll fax them over to you." So, I faxed the reports and I still haven't heard back. Argh!
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Ooooo, you go girlfriend! I can't wait to hear what they say now!
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You know what sucks? That all these amazing women are here in the first place, that they didn't have the opportunity to meet each other over at mylifeisgreat.org or neversickadayofmylife forum....
And some selfish things I can't say anywhere else:
I was at the mall yesterday and on my way racing to the restroom (tamoxifen side effect!) I saw a cute top on the mannikin in Penney's Plus department. Three things raced back to back through my head: 1. That's my color and the neckline is so flattering to boobs. 2. Oh, right, can't wear that, maybe after DIEP and lift and nipple and tatt and probably not it's such a flimsy fabric. 3. Not fair that mannikin has such perfect boobs. It sucks that a mannikin can make me jealous.
And another sucky thing: Last fall, when I was diagnosed, one of my husband's colleagues pulled him aside to share that she had had a partial mx and chemo a few years ago, and if he or I needed someone to talk to, she was there for us. I'm glad I didn't take her up on it: we found out yesterday that she faked it for a custody battle. She shaved her head and plucked her eyelashes and eyebrows and took time off work and everything.What the...? Who does that?
Know what else sucks? Cancer stole my job. I'm self-employed (or was, anyway) and I couldn't keep up with everything and lost all my customers. I'll have to start from scratch; after 8 years of building it took a few months to lose it. We're drowning in bills, afraid to answer the phone, and the expenses keep piling up. Now I am feeling like I cannot afford to get the reconstruction next month, that I have to get a job instead.
Oh, and this sucks: with the full-C-cup tissue expander way up high on one side and my droopy old d-cup on the other, I don't have any confidence in my appearance and plus I cannot lift anything heavy or do repetitive motions, because the gigantic tissue expander makes it too painful. So getting a job that works with my kids' schedules and my specific qualifications & experience is unlikely. So I really have to finish the reconstruction now, even though we are in really bad financial shape.
And one last sucky thing: my shrink seems to think that since I am handling this cancer thing well, I am just fine all over, and she doesn't believe me that the other problems that brought me to treatment in the first place are still there, and are still interfering with my life.
So now I want to list all the things that don't suck, which are many. I have the world's most supportive friends and family, and a really great prognosis, and, and, and... I could count my blessings all day long and not run out.
Which makes me feel guilty for complaining about anything. Thanks for letting me vent safely here!
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Live Jucy, Several years ago my husband was laid off for 8 months and I was the only one employed. We were just getting out from under some of the financial strain when I was diagnosed. I can feel for you on the not wanting to answer the phone. It just s***ks
Mail Order Prescription - part II
Checked the mail order prescription web site again this morning and it shows the order shipping under STANDARD DELIVERY!!!! Yesterday I was told that it was shipping EXPRESS which I thought was the UPS OVERNIGHT!!!!! So I spent another 20 minutes on the phone with them trying to find out why they didn't ship it like I wanted it shipped (Paid extra $28 for overnight delivery). She did tell me that there is a tracking number and put me on hold (5 minutes)to find out how it shipped. It shipped USPS Express delivery and was picked up either yesterday afternoon or this morning. And the express delivery should be here either tomorrow or Saturday. My husband has enough meds to get through the weekend but usually leaves the house on Sunday afternoon for the week so we need it here by Saturday. She said that if they charge me the $28 fee for overnight delivery to call back and they will put the money back on my card or send me a refund check.
Love this thread where we can come and complain
Sheila
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ok, I have to ask you to explain "LiveJuicy" - I'm really praying it has something to do with a Vitamix machine and not one of the any number of things that MY mind came up with ....
Sorry for the problems that brought the rants...but I'm glad you all got it out of your system! Feel free to have at it!! Sometimes, we just need to scream!
I have a revalation to share...one I never thought I'd say. A half a plain toated wheat bagel tastes just as good as a huge sesame seed one smothered in cream cheese used to! I think this means the lifestyle change has taken place because I never thought in a million years I'd eat a plain toasted anything!!!
Will wonders never cease.
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Live Juicy wrote: "You know what sucks? That all these amazing women are here in the first place, that they didn't have the opportunity to meet each other over at mylifeisgreat.org or neversickadayofmylife forum..."
Perfect!
and the cancer faker? Holy sh*t. Makes no sense at all- my friend's daughter had breast cancer and is going through a divorce and her husband is actually saying that her having breast cancer is a reason for HIM to take custody. what a frikin world.
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Navy, you have converted your body to only want good things! You done good!
As for the Munchausen stuff, patooey!
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Getting a kidney stent tomorrow. Am worried that its gonna hurt during and after.....
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Oh Dream! {{{{{{{{{{ hugs }}}}}}}}}}}
Why are you getting the stent? Will you not have pain relief when it's in? What has happened to your kidney? I have a HUGE stone that I'm waiting to hear what they're going to do about...
Make sure they keep you pain free, we have the technology....and the medication!
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I am getting the stent because I am having pain before a full bladder. I heard there was a small stone in there but the doc said he didnt see it (that would be the really cute doc). I dont know about the operation.... my nurse said to call her after.....
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I wish we could meet for lunch... any time. But then, that's what this site is for, for anytime, not just lunch. I love being able to rant and have someone say, WOW THAT SUX. Cause we all have sucky days sometimes. It's validating. I'm 56 years old, aren't I supposed to not need Validation anymore?
It's HOT too. I hate hot like we have in the coastal south, it's reallllllllllly hot and humid and it rains practically every day. there's a storm brewing now. My dh goes to the gym practically every night and I stay alone. I miss my job, miss the undercurrent of rumors and gossip, miss the students, miss the creativity and comradary of co-workers. I don't miss having to be up and there at 8:30 and not getting many breaks. But I miss it. Worked there for 18 years. It's hard to get used to not going to work anymore. Thought about volunteering, but don't have the energy. Oh well. Life goes on, with or without little ole me.
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((((((((((((((Dream))))))))))))))))
And hugs to anyone else who needs one. Love that quote from Live Juicy. Yeah, I'd love to belong to the NeverSickADay forum or the MyLifeIsFabulous&I'mRich&Gorgeous forum. LOLOLOL!!!!
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Connie
I thought that at first too. I do miss work. I cant seem to even plan a lunch with my boss. But fatigue etc will let you know that working is just not possible. My husbands aunts, which are at least 15 yrs older drive me around, snoring in the passenger seat. Hmmmm.
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Dream - sorry about the stent. DH had to have that a couple of years ago. He did fine, so I know you will, too, because he's a big sissy.
My IOS today. One friend of mine just found out she has mets. Another friend who is almost 5 years out has to have a biopsy on Monday.
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Yes, Connie, Savannah is a beautiful place --- in March!! But I'd never be able to take the humidity all year round. There's an outside chance that I'll be down in October for a few days, so maybe I could look you up if I get there.
Gee whiz, Dream. Can anything else go wrong for you? Good lordy, did the stone develop in relation to your treatment or can they even hazard a guess? They would never put in a kidney stent without adequate pain control, so don't worry about that. And make sure they send you a homecare nurse if you need one. It helps to have someone monitor what's going on.
I'm so sorry to hear about your friends, Jane. My poor friend with the lung CA has been asking me about cancer support groups. I told him how I found my peeps here & I'm just glad he's asking about that because men so often don't reach out.
Hugs to all.
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That SUX to all! 0
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Praying for you dream.
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Thinking of you today Dream as you get your procedure done. You are in my prayers. Please post to let us know how you are doing.
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(((Hugs))) for dream...saying prayers you have a smooth operation and it's not painful when you are through..
I met with the trainer at the gym yesterday for the first time....all I can say is HOLY COW. I'm amazed I can walk today. CLEARLY I wasn't pushing hard enough. This DIEP surgery is going to be the death of me for working out though. I could kick my plastic surgeon in the NUTS for taking muscle when he was not supposed to. WTF all over again. I wish I could yank one of his nuts off just so he knows how it feels to be in unnecessary pain. Idiot. (we only discussed fat transfer, I specifically said I did not want my stomach muscles picked apart to do the surgery...but things change once they are in there I guess...) Ok, done the rant. The good news is, the trainer put me through hell
I hope you all have a great day...I am joining Nancy akalefty tomorrow for lunch and a visit to Arlington National Cemetery to see the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. It's supposed to rain but after the past year I'm thinking a little rain isn't going to kill us
(((Hugs))) everyone....and a big THAT SUX to anyone who needs it!
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Yep, Bonnie and I are going to tour Arlington Cemetery and have lunch out. Think of it this way, gotta have the rain before the rainbows come out. Sorry you are in pain (((bonnie))).
Dear (((( dream )))), so much going on with you. ((((( everyone else)))). I am working on laundry and clearing out the file cabinet. One bag of shreds so far.
THAT SUCKS, as needed. HUGS, Nancy
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Oh, Navy & Nancy, have a great time!! We'll all with you in spirit. I've been told that going through Arlington National Cemetery is a very moving experience.
Bonnie, let me just risk sounding like a mommy & a physical therapist for a moment: please make sure that the trainer doesn't push you too much or inappropriately. This is no slight on anyone, just some professional reality that I've had to deal with many, many times. Personal trainers are NOT educated about surgeries, injuries, illness & pathologies like we PT's are, nor do they treat those injuries. You are entitled to get some PT actually if you are still recovering from surgery (if you haven't already) which might be a lot more appropriate. Please PLEASE be careful, because well-meaning trainers can cause people harm through lack of knowledge & experience. Definitely a buyer-beware situation here because some of them can be great. Just know what you're getting yourself into, especially when you've had abdominal muscle removed, because this can have long-term consequences for your spine, hips & posture.
((((((((((( Dream ))))))))))))
Hugs (gentle ones!) to all.
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Welcome to my self-pity party. I got through a potluck I hosted on Saturday but managed to pick up a real nice cold and ear infection. I want to pull off my ears and chop off my head. All week I've been lying in bed, wishing my BF would give me a mere 5 minutes of coddling. I wish I had a DH, DD, D-anything. Someone who could have taken me to urgent care instead of having to drive there myself. Someone to tuck me in, put a cold cloth on my head, hold me, make me some soup. Nope, at least my cat has been enjoying the extra heat coming off my sick body.
I've finally crawled out of bed today for longer than the 15 minutes to feed my cat. Blech. At least it was a chemo week off, not that I would have been able to get any. I am just sick and tired of everything. It's getting harder and harder to think something good will happen. This really sucks!!!!
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