Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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A big that Sux as needed, Angel - you are still in our thoughts and prayers.
Oh my. I think I was dead on, it's not phantom PMS. I've been detoxed now for 3 days and there is a huge improvement. How that Sucks. Not that there is an improvment, it sucks that something that was working so wonderful on the pain can scramble your emotions so bad you want to kill someone - or cry - or kill them then cry. I am so disappointed. I'll have to call the doc and see what she says.
In the mean time, I now feel like I have tennis elbow in both arms and can hardly get my clothes out of the closet without intense pain. WTF. This can't be that unique that they can't figure it out.
I'm asking for some medicinal mary jane, which I recently found out is legal in my state!! Better a pothead than a grouch
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Hi everybody, October SUCKED.
Navygirl, you go for it. I wish it were legal here cause it helps with Restless Leg too. Sometimes I think I'm gonna kick myself out of bed. MUCH better to be mellow than in pain. I'm taking Norco (Hydrocodone), I don't want to get addicted to pain meds, but I don't see an alternative.
OH... Got a mammogram Monday. They said I have a cyst, a fatty or oily cyst thats pretty decent sized, right underneath the scar line. AND it's been over TWO years. They SAID all would be peachy-keen after two years and it's SO NOT. My surgeon, who btw we graduated in the same class in high school, said that it's Necrosis. I'm not understanding that yet, except the tech said it's gonna get hard as a rock and the PA said maybe massaging it will help it dissapate??? WTF?
Update: Mom is protected now. Me and son-in-law had a blow up, I blew up. He got pissed at first then he apologized and said he never intended to take 'advantage' of anyone and that it really hurt his feelings that I was angry with him..... he began to cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEVER expected THAT. He said that I was his 'mom' and that he was so sorry that he did something that upset me so much. That he loves me and dh and that he respects us, and boy-o-boy did I feel like a slimeball. I did sorta verbally attack him, we both assumed stuff, so we made up. Mom will be having shoulder surgery in a couple of weeks and my sister and I will take over her finances for good. We are simply tooooo chickensh!t to take her books away unless she is drugged out. HAHAHAHAHAHA truth.
ANGEL - You really are on our minds. (((((((((((Angel))))))))))). Sending prayers and good vibes to you. Please know we are all keeping you in the white light.
My neck hurts. My back hurts. My pain management doc's surgery center decided not to renew their contract with my insurance company, so they said I would have to have an epidural at the hospital and that my doc would go there. THEN they called me back today and said that NO, he does NOT go there and I'll probably have to have someone else help me.
November ain't looking too good either.
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Don't feel like a slimeball -- your SIL was taking advantage of your Mom. But it's a good thing that you and your sister are taking over her finances. Crap on the pain management pain -- you'll find a new place that's just as good. Maybe Nov won't be as bad.
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Connie, it was tough love and he deserved it...and more!
I've had 4 epidurals. 2 in spine, 2 in neck. Nothing works now....sigh.
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Angel...how are you?
Connie, I'd have to agree. No need to feel bad. The air is clear and he understands, your mom isn't being taken advantage of and you made up. Shit happens
Barbe, you are a better woman than I, I've had 2 spinal taps and I don't think I could let it be done in my NECK!
I'd have to agree that October Sucked! still no solid answers, but my vitamin D is still dastardly low so I'll be doing that for the next 8 weeks. We'll see how it plays out. I'm thinking this might be the smoking gun, just a feeling I have.
I hope things are quite for everyone...
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Thanks. I'm worried about them tonight. She (dd) asked her husband to leave today. She had been writing her story to an online group of women and 10 of them told her that she needs to leave him. It's so hard watching their little family fall apart. But me and DD feel like he is at the very least, verbally abusing her and as far as I'm concerned that's damn bad enough cause it's been going on for over a year. It started when she became pregnant. You know, after you've lived with someone for a while they know where your buttons are and he has decided that he wanted something else... to go visit his grandfather in NC. he asked her to go and she said she didn't want to go. He thinks its unfair that 'his family' hasn't seen his baby. So he chose to start pushing her buttons, he threatened to take the baby and go without her for 2 days and she lost it. She left her home today and came here with baby and stayed alllllll day long. She decided that it was too hard to just leave and that she wanted him to be the one leaving. She can't afford the house she's in, but she's got the rent money for November and that will give us time to work out other living arrangements.
Me and dh are still in the same little house where we raised our kids. We've taken over the bedrooms, one for me. one for him. one for a storage space and workout equipment that we use. We would have to tighten up to make room for her and a baby. My in-laws have a nice house that is only being occupied by my dh's sister, K. She seems to think the whole house belongs to her and we disagree. There's the whole upstairs with two bedrooms and a full bath that my dd could really use and be comfortable and safe, in a home, not a room.
Here I am at 2 in the morning, writing out my worries to you. Tried to sleep, but that just didn't happen tonight. I'm usually such a good sleeper, this thing with my kids separating is ripping my heart out. I know that they love each other. He just can't seem to grow up, man up, get over himself. He's like a 16 year old with a new car...... dangerous to himself and others. Scary.
thanks for being here.
~Connie
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hugs Connie, prayers are with you that all are safe and things work out for the best, what ever that may be.
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Hey, We were kinda scared about her going home last night, but she did and she told him that he could go stay in a hotel for a couple of nights, but he left, AFTER he cleaned house taking out everything that he wanted, including all her jewelry, sentimental diamonds that he gave her when times were good. crud. Instead, he stayed with a friend last night, and went 'home' today cause he's got the flu or a bad cold. She's letting him stay in the spare bedroom over the garage, away from her and the baby. Stress, Stress, STRESS.
If you know there is abuse, but you care about both sides, what can one do? We know he has a history of drug abuse, but not most recently, he just seems to need to create arguements and drama, then wonders why she gets upset. It's mostly verbal abuse, I know he's pushed her once a while back.
I lived with a verbally abusive brother til I was 18. And one day, he started on me and I SNAPPED and pounded him to the ground with both fists saying all the hateful things he had done to me and I have a feeling that if someone put a blunt object in my hand I would have hit him with it. Hard. But that didn't happen, he ended up crouched in a corner covering his head and he NEVER messed with me again. RAH!
Don't think the dynamics are the same with wife and husband as opposed to brother/sister. But I don't want this to end with violence. That scares me more than anything. He's only threatened to hurt himself, but you never really know???
In other issues of SUCKAGE... My mother has decided to have her shoulder surgery. ON THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!!!! There are only two days in a typical year that my sister and I plan to do something together.... One is St. Patrick's Day when we gather at dawn for green grits, pack the cooler(s) and head downtown for the sights, sounds, parade, friends and fun that Savannah is renowned for and Two, we tag-team early bird shop on Black Friday. EVERY YEAR for at least the past 15 years and Mom has to book her surgery on THAT DAY. DAMN IT.
Connie
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Connie:
Nothing ever seems to work out fairly. My youngest gave up her bedroom so her sister and her boyfriend and baby could be there. They left in the middle of the night after arguing with his parents. They had a big house and their daughter wanted them out and campaigned and pushed my daughters buttons.... didnt take long. We got them an apt in our bldg and HE decided he needed to drop his pants with another girl. We did not bring up our daughter to live with that. He left willingly but tried to steal the baby. We had to kidnap him back (rather exciting that was). So now she is a single parent. She just got a job and we will warp our lives around picking up the GS from school so she can work full time. He goes to the other grandparents but we dont trust them after that fiasco. But now my daughter has the courts on her side.
All I am saying (and taking the looooooong way to say it) is that we do whatever is necessary to assist our young. It may mean squeezing her into a room. She may be happier in a room than a half a house with a b*tch.
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Oh my word - a lot of family suckage tonight. I pray all works out for everyone.
My sister (one of the ones I don't live with) went to the emergency room last night and was admitted to the hospital. She has horrible pains in her stomach (she has had problems in the past - I forget the name put her stomach empties very very slowly. She now has meds for that but this they think is gallbladder disease. If it can be confirmed she will have her gallbladder out. In the meantime, she is in a snarky mood and doesn't want a lot of family visiting because she doesn't "feel like entertaining." I don't know what that means either.
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I have 2 "suckies" today:
Mom, who is 96 has a very weak heart, after being taken to the ER with shortness of breath and chest pains. No immediate danger, and she is "stable". And DIL nephew, born july 27, has something wrong with his esophagus and is referred to a specialist. His baptism is Saturday.
But a good thing, SOI, Suckiness otherwise inverted: I do not have to go for another mammogram for a year. Today's was perfect and no ultrasound was even done. I did a bit of a Happy DAnce on the way back to my car... Hugs for all, Nancy
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Nancy I will happy dance with you.
Im sorry about the baby but it may be a small problem... my goddaughter had a problem where she sounds like she snores when she breathes. They didnt do anything, the sound faded as she grew.
A 96 year old woman with shortness of breath is never "stable". How these women hold on so long is beyond me. Two of my friends have 95 yr old mothers. Amazing.
But then I am amazing.... tooting my own horn.... still here after all these years.... heee heee
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THAT SUCKS going out there. I esp feel for folks dealing with abuse and violence. I was once in a real not-a-winner relationship. I remember my friend saying, in so many words, "I love you. I care about you. I respect you. and I am confident that you are capable of making good decisions for yourself." And I (eventually) left the guy. Of course, the process of leaving is rarely straightforward and the problems don't magically disappear upon leaving (they may even escalate for a while).
But thank god for friends and families who helped me recognise that I was strong and capable even when my actions were suggesting I was anything but!!
Hoo-ray for a mammogram free year!
I am having some job-related suckiness which is too complicated to get into. Lets just say that I prefer a compartmentalised life in a lot of ways. That is, I prefer that the man I am dating NOT be a good friend of a colleague's husband who has recently moved in (with his wife/my colleague) with the Unit director who I am not getting along with so smashingly as of late. (Don't bothering to figure out that last sentence. It's not worth it.) Barf.
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Too much suckage!! And some good SOIs!
I had 3 SOIs! First was the results of a scan -- my liver has been really acting up and we found out that I have 1 less lesion -- I was expecting the worst. Now I only have 1 little one (out of 7 earlier this year -- yeaaa!!!). The second SOI was I needed my sister to co-sign on a new apartment in Ottawa (moving back to Canada Dec 01) and she happily did it, after I fed her 2 desserts!! Money well spent! The third was I hung out with an Ottawa girlfriend on Sat evening -- it was wonderful -- definitely will help take away the blues when I leave Boston, my boyfriend, friends... Nice to have some good news for a change.
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Thinking of you dear Angel and DH. I know you have a lot of suckage right now. I hope a couple of SOIs peek in to ease your and DH's worries.
Elizabeth
xoxo
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Dear Sisters; Thank you for caring, xoxox. In the new year I will pm all the horrible facts. Until then, I hope you don't mind if I just pop in occasionally to read.
xoxo Angel
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Dearest Angel -- PM and post when you feel up to it - not a moment before. Remember that we think of you often. I'm so sorry that you and your DH are having a horrible time. No need to talk about anything you don't want to -- we certainly all understand that. Big, warm hugs for you and DH. If and when you want, we are all here for you.
Elizabeth
xoxoxoxoxoxo
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Angel ~ I hate that you are going through this 'horrible' experience. Do you have any support locally? I know your mother and sister would help you to handle it if they could.
How is your own health? Don't be a martyr [waggling finger] and put some time apart for you, to take care of you. I hope your situation is resolved long before the New Year, but in the meantime, you know you are welcomed here.
xxxooo
Lisa
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Dear Angel, you do what you need to do to keep hanging in there. In the meantime, know that you and DH are cared about and thought about often and always welcome to pop in to read or to post, whatever helps. We are here for you when your are ready to be here.
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{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Angel }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} You have been in my prayers since your post. I pray God is watching pretty closely over you guys.
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Hello all ~ A BIG that SUCKS to anyone who needs it.
Angel ~ we do not mind at all, we are glad to know you are here, with friends, putting your troubles aside even if just for a few minutes. ((((HUGS))))
Kona ~ You crack me up! Money well spent indeed. I'm glad you have good news. It's been a tough road for you as of late. Time for better days.
Rock ~ The Barf says it all. Compartmentalizing is vital to survival at times.
Connie ~ how's your dd ? Is everything quite for the time being?
Nancy ~ Hip Hip Horray! You get to do the happy dance anywhere you want for a clean mamo and a "I'll see you next year" - sweeter words have never been spoken.
I'm still working on my vitamin D issue, other than that I'm so tempted to toss all the other meds it's not funny. I'm just sick of it <<<stomping foot>>>>.
On the bright side; I had my nieces over the weekend. I love them. We played guitar hero, ate oreo's, went to see 3D A Christmas Story, painted the dogs toenails lime green (hey, better him than me!) and just had fun. It was wonderful. ***Sigh***
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Hey, I'm up early again. can't sleep. I'm worried about a dx of Necrosis cyst in the scar from radiation. WTF? I'm two years out and I have a 'fatty' cyst of DEAD tissue? What I've read says it's not a painful condition, but mine hurts. Feels like a lump. Can't it be drained? Or removed? Not that I'd be looking forward to more surgery, even a procedure, but think something can be done. The radiologist saw it on my mammo last Monday, said it was going to get rock hard. Surgeon said, oh well, these things happen! Like she had nothing to offer. I don't understand.
~Connie
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My DD is holding up. She's so tired of his lies. Cant' tell when he telling the truth or not. Things have been quiet this week so far. They all got a cold and cancelled fighting to recover.
Except my firstborn DD got arrested after an auto accident for DUI. She swears she wasn't drunk, passed the field sobriety test even after getting hit, spun and rearended a pole. car looks bad. She's 29 and the cops treated her so mean.
Son flew to Denver yesterday, looking for a place to live. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH that's a LONG way from home. He's 27 and knows what he wants to do. can't argue with that. can i?
~Connie
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>>> for Connie: May I suggest "keloid scars". see the link below:
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Connie, I didn't get rads but I have new masses now too. I'm one year out of surgery and these are definitely new. My DH rubs cream into my scars a couple times a week and these weren't there months ago. I'm getting an US on the 18th...I hope I'm not starting this train wreck ride again...sigh. But you've given me something to look up. Thanks!
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Good Morning Barbe, I reckon I'm hoping the same thing, that it's not a recurrance. Is THAT forever going to be an 'option' in the back of my mind? This is directly under the scar. In the dent. It's round, hard, about the size of a marble. My DH is angry at surgeron for not explaining a lot of stuff, even when we asked. And we attended high school with this Mrs. Doc. haha As if that were a reason to give us more attention or even straight answers from the get go.
I'm angry at the Rads Doc. Just keep hearing him, so nice and friendly at the start, when, after the beginning of treatments he said, "SEE, THAT'S ALL WE ARE DOING TO YOU". After only two weeks of radiation you don't see or feel any effects. I had a little swelling. He never said; Heat, Blisters, uncomfortable swelling, red and hot breast for months (July and August), peeling discolored skin, shrinkage, damage to bones and joints, damage to the muscles, thyroid damage.... so many possibilities for "Potential" side effects. DH was with me at all those appointments and we took notes. The doctors did not say these things might happen, and it feels like ALL of them have. Now I add Necrotic cyst!!! I do NOT want them cutting my boob again, but I would go with excision, cause it hurts like a big bug bite.
Hope yours is b9 and painless. I'm calling today to see if they can drain it.
If I knew then what I know now. I believe I would have declined radiation.
~Connie
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Connie, if you google fat necrosis, it does say it can hurt, so don't let the docs say otherwise! Good luck and keep us posted.
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Connie - sorry you are having such a hard time (all the way around). Exactly who does the doctor base his experience on - everyone seems to have a lot of side effects so who are these women that don't? I thought I would go in the hospital, have the bilateral mastectomy with tissue expanders and wake up to little Barbie boobs. Instead, I had a "bleed" and they had to go back in (same day) whicih totally screwed up the TEs and a month later had to have the TEs removed due to infection. It has been almost a year and I have still not had reconstruction.
Let us know if they can drain your cyst.
A good friend of my younger sister was just sort of diagnosed. At first when they told her she might have breast cancer (I think they actually told her she did) she couldln't talk to anyone. I told my sister until a biopsy was done and looked at by a pathologist there was no diagnosis. Her friend indicated that she was considering a mastectomy (all before an actual diagnosis!) with the one-step implants. My sister told her there was no such thing and I told there was too! My sister also told her as long as her markers were good and she responded "what markers?" At that point my sister had to admit she didn't know but she heard women talking about markers.
Anyway, I told her if she wants to talk to give me a call. I also told her to come to these boards once she is actually diagnosed. My sister seems to think her friend will go to worse case scenerio and really be a basket case if she starts reading here without knowing her diagnosis.
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Hey, Barbie doesn't have any boobs
OOooh, the dangers of the uninitiated talking about breast cancer...yikes!
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