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Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.

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Comments

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited November 2009

    I am not deleting any of my posts Otter. They were given in sincere love and concern for "friends" I had met or others I had learned of. I had no ulterior motives or "agenda" to hurt or distress anyone. I have cried for many sisters that have passed before me. I even woke my DH up in the middle of the night when Toyful died and he was SO confused at who I was talking about.

    Take away the signature lines (usually I say peel off the skin) and we are all the same people underneath. I know of women just Stage I who have a much harder life than some of the Stage IV I have read! It is all in perspective.....

  • kmccraw423
    kmccraw423 Member Posts: 885
    edited November 2009

    I'm with Barbe ... these women are my friends - I want to rejoice with them at good news and cry with them when its not so good.

    On a lighter note - Elizabeth you certainly have things well in hand!  I'm impressed!  When I am faced with the possibility of a move I am like a deer in headlights - instant paralysis!

    You all know - chocolate is not just for breakfast anymore!  I remember when I still had a period - there were times I could have jumped into a vat of chocolate and eaten my way to the top.

    Elizabeth - for you!

  • PatMom
    PatMom Member Posts: 322
    edited November 2009

    Otter, I am quite sure that it is not any of your posts that anyone found offensive.  It is the kind of bright and breezy response from someone who doesn't recognize that a simple cold is not necessarily a simple cold for someone with mets to the lungs that upsets people.  That expectation that someone will be fine in a couple of days isn't there.  The hope that things will get back to their normal is, but not the expectation.

    Many women live with mets for many years.  Others, like Annie Camel Tail are gone in the blink of an eye.   You recognize that and honor that. 

    We all have bad days, and a newbie posted in the wrong place on what was a particularly bad day for a number of women who frequent the stage IV thread.  It's been a difficult few weeks.  We seem to be getting more bad news than usual lately.  It takes time to heal from each of those blows, and time is a comodity that is never taken for granted on the stage IV threads.

    We all need some chocolate.  I prefer dark chocolate that sits on your tongue and melts slowly coating it in that not too sweet chocolateness.  I think I need to have some dessert for breakfast.

    And for those who can't eat chocolate, that really sucks.

  • konakat
    konakat Member Posts: 499
    edited November 2009
    OMG Kathleen -- I almost licked my screen! Tongue out
  • cmb35
    cmb35 Member Posts: 554
    edited November 2009

    Hi ladies, long time, no post (from me!)

    Just wanted to pop in and say a quick "that sucks!" to all.

    I've been having the usual combination of IOS and SOI in my life. All in all I can't complain. (Well, I can, but what good would it do? LOL)

    For those of you that remember me, and remember the variety of infestations I dealt with a while back, the latest was a bat in the vent thing in the cieling of my living room where the AC blows out. It's little arm kept sticking out of the vent as it was trying desperately to get out. I had to wait almost 4 hours for a pest guy to get here. During that time I was on a conference call for a new project with people I've never worked with before. I was trying to keep my cool, while planning my escape in case the darn thing managed to squeeze its way out. Looking back on it, it's pretty funny I guess!

    Wishing everyone a suckage free weekend!

    PS. Elizabeth and lisa - thanks for saying that, I also just deleted my posts, but only the recent ones, and only on threads that didn't specifically welcome all stages. I did it before I read that you did that too otter, I guess because I had the same reaction - I suddenly felt like a fool, like I had been "tolerated" but unwelcome. I appreciate you confirming that not everyone feels that way.

    PPS. Lisa - hope you're still celebrating! :-)

  • Connie07
    Connie07 Member Posts: 446
    edited November 2009

    Happy Friday the 13th! I decided, in the 9th grade, when on my birthday I wore my new white denim jeans that were an itty-bitty size and at lunch treated myself to chocolate milk and spilled it in my LAP... that instead of counting on my birthday to be a Lucky day, that I would pick the Friday's of the 13th, whenever they came, to be my lucky day. (teenage rebellion of the 1st kind.) It's been that way ever since. silly!

    I thank you all for the kudo's on the boob procedure. It's a bit swollen today but the hard rock center is gone. Saw the Neuro this morning. We're going to do a myleogram before discussing any thing else. The good news is that I had owed his firm a large sum and requested their help to forgive all or part and they worked it out by getting more from ins. and writing off the balance!!!!!!! How lucky is THAT!! I felt much more at ease asking him for help, knowing that I didn't show a big overdue balance.

    Now... What in the world happened on the Stage IV forum? Earlier, someone suggested that I ask there for advice, I did, got good advice and met some new 'friends'. I thought (maybe assumed) that the threads were open for anyone to read and or comment. I LIKE some of the ladies in there and they are inspirational, couragous, funny. Are we who are not stage IV not invited to chat and learn? Or was there just an incident?

    OMG... Who brought the CHOCOLATE??? I've limited myself to chocolate frozen yogurt and sugar free little coconut bars for 'desert'. Who remembers Grandma baking or making fudge and using the Baker's dark cooking chocolate? It's a warm gooey, bittersweet food of the Gods.

    That reminds me, I've got to make the menu and break it down for groceries, for Thanksgiving.

    Let's hope for a weekend free of IOS.

    ~Connie

  • Jane_M
    Jane_M Member Posts: 932
    edited November 2009

    rinna40 - My last chemo was January 19...thanks to Femara, my hair is growing very slowly.  It's a little better today.  I washed it this morning and it looked better.

  • otter
    otter Member Posts: 757
    edited November 2009

    Three things:

    1) Thanks so much to those of you who assured me (us) it was still okay to post hugs etc. for someone on the mets board.  I don't like making even one or two people feel uncomfortable, so I promise I'll be very careful in the future.

    2) Thanks so much for the wonderful pic of the chocolate candies.  Like Elizabeth, I now have spit and tongue-marks all over my computer screen.  (Or are those from my cat?  No... I don't have a cat.)  And, I think PatMom has given us a terrific new declaration:  "And for those who can't eat chocolate, that really sucks."

    3) And, a NEWSBREAK (an SOI):  The subheading for the Stage IV forum has been softened up, just since last night.  Here's what the heading says now:

    ++++++++++++ 

    Forum: STAGE IV BREAST CANCER  SURVIVORS

    This is a forum is [need to fix that] for women who are braving more treatment and managing the ups and downs of a stage IV diagnosis. Their caring supporters are welcome as well. Thank you for respecting their very special space and for your sensitivity.

    +++++++++++++ 

    The sentence about "caring supporters" is new, and it makes me feel much more at ease.  I hope we can use that "permission" wisely, and not offend anyone or make anybody uncomfortable if we post our hugs and expressions of concern on their very special space.

    My next project is to search for some stuff about local commemorations of Veterans Day. (Is there an apostrope in "Veterans"?)  My mom sent an email to every relative this side of the Mexican border, complaining that "young people" no longer show respect for the military these days, or honor our veterans on Veterans Day.  I am at this very moment looking at a front-page headline in the weekly newspaper for the community nearest to where I live:  "Dadeville High School Honors Veterans."  The first sentence of the article is, "Dadeville High School celebrated its strong military roots Tuesday morning during a Veterans Day program in the school's auditorium."  They had to hold the ceremony on Tuesday, because Wednesday was a state (and national) holiday.

    <sigh> 

    otter 

  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 765
    edited November 2009

    I had to clean off my monitor due to slobber from the chocolate picture and description by Pat about chocolate sliding down my throat! and no chocolate in site at my desk! I am limiting myself to one fun size candy bar (3 musketeers or snickers) left over from Halloween a day, boy is that hard to do! 

    otter, here is what was in our local paper (and online) about the local veterans day celebrations. I wasn't able to attend due to working. They sometimes had the rememberance in the evening and the church choir has sung 'Flanders Fields' for it in the past. http://www.newstopic.net/pages/full_story/push?article-Overflow+crowd+attends+Post+29+service%20&id=4435429-Overflow+crowd+attends+Post+29+service&instance=main_article

    Sheila

  • navygirl
    navygirl Member Posts: 369
    edited November 2009

    (((((HUGS))))) to anyone who needs it...just popped in to spread some love and say hello!

    Nothing to report...long week, weekend is here, Hip Hip HOORAY! 

  • GramE
    GramE Member Posts: 2,234
    edited November 2009

    otter:  check out this link - about free meals for Veteran's.  Not sure there is an apostrophe either.  

    That Sucks, as needed.   Hugs and Blessings,   Nancy 

  • kmccraw423
    kmccraw423 Member Posts: 885
    edited November 2009

    A family friend and her husband host returning veterans at Walter Reed Hospital for dinner on Thanksgiving and Christmas and throughout the year.  She isn't even from this country - just has a big heart and family means everything to her.  Plus I bet at least the male veterans appreciate her - she is a cutie patootie.  She is also teaching her two sons to give back to their community and to help others in so doing.

    Well, my sister had her gall bladder out yesterday.  They thought they might wait until Monday because her liver enzymes were so high but then decided if that got the gallbladder out her liver enzymes would, in all probability, go down.  They found an inflammed gallbladder with plenty of scar tissue and a big, fat piece of sludge blocking the duct - no wonder she was in such pain!  Went by to see her for about an hour last night but she was so drowsy from anethestia that we left her in peace to sleep.  The hospital is now limiting visiting hours from between 6-8 p.m. because of the swine flu.  My aunt and I got to the hospital at 5:22 p.m. and they would not let us go up until 6:00.  Anyway, she came through with flying colors!  Thanks for all the prayers on her behalf.

  • GramE
    GramE Member Posts: 2,234
    edited November 2009

    Good news on your sis, kathleen. May she have a speedy recover and healing.   

  • GramE
    GramE Member Posts: 2,234
    edited November 2009

    Good news on your sis, kathleen. May she have a speedy recovery and healing.   

  • konakat
    konakat Member Posts: 499
    edited November 2009

    Eeeewwwww -- glad she got that gallbladder out!  How painfully awful.  Happy she came through with flying colours!!  What a relief!!!

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited November 2009

    Kathleen, she will feel SO much better now all around! Good things it's gonzo'd.

  • kmccraw423
    kmccraw423 Member Posts: 885
    edited November 2009

    Gosh - I really appreciate your support.  My sister is getting out of the hospital today and I will pick her up and bring her here.  My brother (a tow truck driver) will come over to not just take her home but her car too!

    LIfe can sometimes be good - she was in so much pain - I'm glad she's rid of that "bad boy."

  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 592
    edited November 2009
    So good to hear all is better with your sister. Laughing   Good thing they went ahead and did the surgery - that even sounded painful Tongue out
  • EyesOTex
    EyesOTex Member Posts: 4
    edited November 2009

    OK, I am just completly out of whack and from nowhereland.  I don't know what has happened and I get here so rarely that you should just whack me over the head.  HOWEVER, it shall hence be known, by knowledge bestowed unto me by me, that ANYTHING Otter has to say is worthy and valuable to all, be they Stage I-II, and especially IIb-IV.  Otter is the font of wisdom, comfort, and knowledge, and shall post wherever and whenever she shall desire.

  • otter
    otter Member Posts: 757
    edited November 2009

    Oh, Eyes... you're so kind.  Moderator Melissa has told us it's okay to go over to the Stage IV forum to offer hugs and comfort to our friends there.  That's about all I'm good for on that forum, anyway. But, I think everyone can use a hug or some comfort occasionally.

    Or maybe a Hugaghan... Glad to read that you received one, to wrap around you and your furry buddy!     :)

    otter

  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 592
    edited November 2009

    Otter - hugs are always good, as far as I'm concerned!

  • lemonjake
    lemonjake Member Posts: 342
    edited November 2009

    I second what Eyes and EWB said re: Otter.  In fact, I am prepared to declare the second and fourth Tuesdays of every month "Days of Celebrating Otter and her Wonderful Otterness."

    My suck:  Dad and Mom: I appreciate your down-to-earth matter-of-fact earthy approach to life and death. You are  farmers, after all. However, when I call home upon learning that my aunt/godmother (who is also BRCA2+) has been diagnosed with uterine cancer, I would like something a LEETLE bit more compassionate than "Well, we've all got to die of something.  Given the family history, this is hardly a surprise."  While true, it is a little hard on the ears.

  • navygirl
    navygirl Member Posts: 369
    edited November 2009

    How about this Rock;

    <<Ring, Ring>>>

    <<Your Mom answers>>Hi sweetie, how are you? Yes, I heard about Auntxxx/godmother's uterine cancer.  I know this must be hard for you to hear after all that you've been through this past year. I am praying that Aunt xxx/godmother  gets the kind of care and support that you did on your journey. Is there anything you can think of that we can do for her to make it a little easier for her to focus on getting well? We shall look after her and make sure she has whatever she needs. It was so good of you to call home. We love you and miss you tons!

  • GramE
    GramE Member Posts: 2,234
    edited November 2009

    awww, navy girl, you are much sweeter than I am.   But you already know that...   Hail to otter for her beautiful inside and outside.   Hail to each of you others and Hugs,   Nancy

  • cmharris59
    cmharris59 Member Posts: 111
    edited November 2009

    Hi All,

    I haven't posted over here in awhile. Not because life doesn't suck... LOL but because I have been overwhelmed... However..

    I am glad to hear Elizabeth, that you are getting settled back home in Canada, soon!!!! Yippeee!! There are so many others that I need to offer  congrats, good luck, or rants to no more suckage that I cannot list them all.

    My bitch of the week is:

    I have had people ask me how cancer changed my life. I can tell by the context of the conversation that they are expecting me to have had some ground shaking positive revelation. They seem to get rather upset when I tell them that I can find nothing positive in the changes that cancer has brought to me.

    I had my priorities in line, long before I found cancer. I enjoyed my life and appreciated what it offered.

    Cancer has created a large vacuum in my life. It has sucked away my happiness on way too many occasions. It has taken away my livelihood when I lost my job due to the disabilities it has wrought. It took away my beloved avocation when I lost my balance and could no longer dance.  It has taken away the joy that I have felt in owning my own home, since I may very well lose it and I cannot take care of it now anyway. It has taken away the freedom that I enjoyed when I rode my motorcycle or drove my Mustang outlandishly around town - I can no longer drive a stick shift.  It has caused me much stress and pain physically. Am I a positive person now? ppppphhhtttttt!

    Before cancer, I had a job that I loved. It was physically demanding, mentally challenging, and afforded me the pleasure of traveling around the world. I was going to Paris in the Spring following my dx, except that my dx put an end to that. I can no longer manage the physical aspects of my job (neuropathy) nor the mental aspects of my job (chemo-brain). 

    I loved to belly dance and it was my release from stress and brought me such enjoyment and physical well being. Now I can no longer dance, I can hardly walk without pain. Even if the neuropathy finally subsides, my PS informed me that my DIEP will prevent me permanently from doing some of the major moves involved with the dance. 

    I have a lovely home in the Historic District in a small town. We have a lovely neighborhood and I have been able to decorate it MY way. Now I am on the verge of losing it. I can hardly afford to eat. I cannot physically keep house the way that I always have. I am exhausted just cleaning the litter boxes of my 4 cats. My house is a disaster that makes me ashamed to have others visit. I am alone so I have no help with even hauling out the garbage in my house. I stripped my bed days ago and haven't had the energy to put new sheets on it. Now how is that for positive?

    I can no longer ride my beloved motorcycles. I have two, a dirt bike and a street bike. I have no balance and can no longer hold up the street bike. I have a Mustang and a Jeep. The Jeep was for work and for takling me to remote areas to study the geology of the land. Both are stick shift autos and I can no longer drive them because sometimes I don't know where my feet are and it is painful to constantly use both feet. I have actually hit the gas when I thought that I was hitting the brake. Luckily, no one was hurt. I can't even sell them since no one is buying unless I want to take pennies on the dollar.

     Yes, I still have friends. Some have burned out since my tx has taken so long. Yes, I have family. They live hundreds of miles away and have families of their own. My parents are elderly and I can no longer visit them as often as I once did because of the disability. They do not live nearby. I have my cats, but I worry how much longer I can care for them. Yes, I am a negative person.... some days. Some days... I can laugh and smile and move around without pain. I have discovered new hobbies, but they are nothing to compare with my life before cancer.

    I missed Paris in the Spring.... sigh

    I miss working... I miss riding... I miss dancing... I miss my friends not having pity for me... I miss being helpful 90% of the time, not helpless... I miss my breast...

  • prayrv
    prayrv Member Posts: 362
    edited November 2009

    THIS SUCKS!!!!!

    They are now recommending that for screening mammograms women should start at age 50 and that BSE's are not useful.  This was the first item on the national new tonight.  I am angry!!!

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33973665/ns/health-womens_health/

    Trish

  • cmharris59
    cmharris59 Member Posts: 111
    edited November 2009

    Oh yeah that would have helped me! Actually my mammos didn't find my cancer, I did. But I was 48 when dxed. I had missed one mammo at 46, maybe that was the one that would have caught it?!?! I had been getting mammos every other year since 40.

    Once again, we can see how the insurance companies are running our health care system. GRRRRR

  • PatMom
    PatMom Member Posts: 322
    edited November 2009

    Actually, those new guidelines may not suck as much as it seems. 

    What they said wasn't that women under 50 don't need screening for breast cancer, but rather that mammograms aren't a particularly good screening tool before age 50.   It might make it easier to get ultrasounds or mri's that can get through the denser breast tissue.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited November 2009

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{ cm }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

  • cmb35
    cmb35 Member Posts: 554
    edited November 2009

    Greetings Ladies!

    1. (((((rock)))))

    2. rock (again!) -- reminds me of the lovely health care professional, who said, "gee, so you were pretty much doomed from the start, huh?" after obsessively asking me about my family history of breast cancer during my PAP smear. At least I am not related to her though!

    3. yes, otter is the cooliest

    4. ((((cm))))

    5. I forgot why I came to this thread. I did have a specific purpose in mind. Oh well!

    A big that sucks to all!

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