Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Barbe -- Ooooh, when you said you were cranky and then that Canadian coming out I didn't realize you were referring to the "eh?" -- I just re-read. Duh. I was just trying to continue the joke! Oooops. You are always polite, and always funny like heck!!!!!!!
Jane -- I'm like that with my cat. I go into major contortions to not disturb my cat sleeping in the middle of the bed. They are superior creatures after all!
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You are all terrific and if you ever quit being so wonderfully honest, forthright, funny and caring then I'm gonna quit coming here.
Have to admit that when given, I'd have to accept a Snarky award too. Maybe a Loud GROAN award too. Certainly a Bitch Of The Year. I know several used-to-be-friends that would gladly nominate me for that one.
Cats. gotta love 'em. I've got the old one trained, so when I need to move, I pat her twice on the rump and she complains, but moves off. We have a system.
+++Concern for Angel's husband+++
And, It ISN'T always what "they" say it is. They can be wrong. Miracles DO happen. My best friend broke his neck in 1975. Severed his spinal cord at the 7th cervical. THEY said he wouldn't make it through that night. THEY said he would be a quadraplegic forever.. . guess what? THEY were WRONG. He lived another 30 years AND he not only walked, but he lived in a three story no lift condo, he sailed, fished, worked, rode a jet ski and lived a terrific life. So, it isn't exactly what they say it is. It is our unique, individual experience and how we react to it. It's a 'trip', for sure. I think a Dr.s opinion is just that until you add the images and conclusive tests, then it's something.
Still don't like 'journey' though.
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Angel -- Any news about your DH? Good news? Thinking about you...0
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OK...I too have fallen behind. I have been to out of sorts to even log on so forgive me...I just wanted to share a sweet, sweet SOI.
My "simple pleasure" right now....for the first time in about 4 weeks - I woke up this morning and had no pain anywhere in my body, except my bad ankle - which really has just become part of me by now. You forget what a gift it is to have a body that works, until yours doesn't! I don't know how long it will last, but for right now...I am savoring the reprive! Did I just spell that right? eh, who cares
I hope those of you with troubles of your own, have the same glorious relief from them...I'll be back on this evening to catch up!!! In the mean time ***THAT SUCKS*** to anyone who needs it...
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Great news, ((( bonnie )))). I wish the same lack of pain for everyone today and the rest of the week/month/year. My bones ache and I groan, but I "keep going"... very slowly sometimes. Angel, let us know what is going on with DH. That Sucks, as needed. Hugs, Nancy
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Jane: Remember that by saying yes to things that you don't have the energy for, or for things that you don't really want to do, you are letting yourself down. A good friend of mine gave me a verbal kick in the but when I was saying how frustrated I was that my house still had areas of mess that I really need to clean up even though I've been off work since March. She very forcibly reminded me that I've been through enough and I should be relaxing with my butt on the couch. It was good to hear. I feel guilty when my husband comes home from work if I didn't get much done that day (although my DH never says a thing). I think we really need to pick and choose what we commit to and save the best for ourselves.
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Navygirl -- that was a sweet SOI!
Angel -- I'm getting worried! How are you and DH?
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Hey, all of you, I just want to say that this IS one of the threads where we are all allowed to be BITCHY & SNARKY, where we get to vent, and where we all understand that we do each of us NEED to vent now and then, and to be understood and loved anyway, no matter what. That is our mission here. We need a place to dump our IOS's (Issues of Suckage) and this is it. And that means we are allowed to be crabby, cranky, undiplomatic, and so forth. As long as we all refrain from missile-guided personal attacks, we are fine. Otter, we've known each other for a while here, and as a person known for being opinionated and acerbic myself, I have always valued your tart and keen observations. And now, you've also demonstrated your graciousness.
Allalone, I often refer to this stinking sleigh-ride of BC as the Big Adventure, with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek. I also like to refer to BC in particular as the Stalker, and to the standard cancer treatment protocol as the slash/burn/poison routine or the "scorched-earth" approach. I absolutely hate Pollyanna-ism, so Nancy, I'm with you -- we're all gonna die eventually. Katherine Hepburn once famously said that "life is what kills you in the end." Hopefully later rather than sooner, although someone has not been listening to me on that score lately and we've lost too many sisters here in recent months. But I find it quite helpful to keep my mortality in mind, because you can make yourself completely mental with fear of the future when you have the Stalker in your life, and make a lot of decisions out of that fear. And then, tomorrow, you might walk across the street and get run over by a truck. So, I am really trying to get back to my former zen-ish mindset of living and appreciating today, because that's really all we've got when you get right down to it.
To that end, I saw my med onc today and told her that I quit tamoxifen after giving it a year because I was tired of feeling like dog-doo-doo, and that I do indeed feel a lot better, and my fatigue has lifted significantly, although not entirely. But now I feel like maybe there's light at the end of the tunnel. And you know what? She thought I'd made a good decision and validated my choice for improving my quality of life now rather than continuing to take drugs that were ruining my QOL and may well have worsened it in the future. So that's that. As it happens, I am osteopenic and may end up on Evista anyway, which has been shown to decrease future invasive BC incidence. And now that I'm off tamoxifen, I will be going back on a low dose of simvastatin to shave a few points of my LDL cholesterol, and simvastatin (zocor) has been shown to have potential as another possible medication to fight BC recurrence.
I also got an essay accepted by our local public radio station, which does a series called "This I Believe." This morning, I went to the radio station and recorded my essay, which is called "Breast Cancer Awareness -- the Real Thing," which will be broadcast in early December. So, heck, I've had a day of SOI's. And I wish lots of them to you all.
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You have a great supportive onc KAK!
My gripe -- I've been watching Dr Oz for lack of anything else to do and I find him so incredibly alarmist. Everything is killing us, poisoning us, sickening us. He's a bit much. It's amazing I made it out of diapers...
Edit: Why the F am I always having typos??? Arrrrgh.
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I'm having lo's of ypo's, oo, bu i's because the " " key on my keyboard keeps sicking. Someimes I don' cach hem all.
oer
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My gripe is its almost impossible to find post mastectomy items such as forms and cammies if you are large breasted. So hard in fact I'm about ready to scream!!! Uhhhgggg
Big breasts get BC to you nit wits!!!!!
*deep breath
Ok I feel slightly better now
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HEY THAT SUCKS. I feel like posting my crap today. DD had a huge drama with her husband this week and I'm so pissed at him I could spit nails. He went to MY 80 year old mother and asked her for $1,500. to buy a stupid, impractical CAR. (Didn't put a penny of his own down on the thing, already has TWO vehicles). He bought a Honda del sol. AS IF!!! I'm so afraid that I'm going to need her help and she will have given everything away. That sounds terribly selfish, but after all, she's my mother and I'm the one that has to deal with her and this son-in-law has been a giant pain in the ass ever since DD got preg, over a year ago. He is treating her like crap and not manning up to the title of Father OR Husband.
DD and baby are doing fine, but the stress in that household is so thick I don't want to go there. AND THAT PISSES ME OFF cause that's my first grandbaby and they need my help.
He only bought the car cause his friends have little sports cars. He is unemployed, not reliable, and earlier this year he went into rehab to get off cocaine. idiot. I and up to here with him and have no idea how to deal with this. I have to protect my mother from him and that's a place that I really shouldn't have to be.
ya know?
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Further more, my mother GAVE them a Buick when they got married 3 years ago. AND earlier this year she bought them a new clothes dryer. OH, AND she gave them, just for asking, a check for $5,000. to pay off their bills. Then the other grandmother, my hubby's mom, gave them a check for the SAME AMOUNT so they could buy a house.... guess what? yeah, no house. And their bills are up-to-here again CAUSE he was snorting the rent money and lying to his wife and staying out running around til the wee hours on a regular basis.
DD told him yesterday that this was the last straw, the proverbial line in the sand and that he had crossed it because we BOTH told him NOT to go to my mother in order to buy that car. and he did it anyway. After screaming at her, making her cry, slamming the door and leaving without notice. She's been putting up with this uncomfortable behaviour, the lying has become so routine. I feel helpless in guiding her cause she gets angry if I get too involved. But the next time I see him.... he'd better watch his back cause I'm not going to let him abuse my elderly mom. Even if I have to take out a peace bond so he is court-directed to stay away. That's a pain in the ass but it's better than having him using her as his personal ATM.
AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
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Connie -- that is a huge BIG SUX. May I say your DH is an ass? And your SIL. And damned if you do, damned if you don't with your daughter. Your poor Mom -- she's trying to be nice to everyone but should really turn away your DH. As you said, you might need help and really, she needs to be there for you.
Can you take your grandbaby and escape for the day -- have a grandma day? Just to get out of the house and play with your grandbaby might give some immediate relief to the stress and overall sucking you have to put up with. And poop on them for aggravating you!
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Connie: I like Konakat's idea, take the baby for the day and have fun. I know that really doesn't solve anything. Hopefully your daughter sees the light soon, as her husband seems to bring nothing to the table other than stress - no good.
Otter: verrry funy post. I needeed the laf
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Dear Ladies; I have persevered utilizing a very well known(& loved) coping mechanism.....avoidance 101, coming to a higher learning education centre, near you, some time soon. Needless to say, I was avoiding putting into words, that there is no change in DH's predicament. Stating it at this time,... seems to give it a substantiality, I'm not ready to lock horns with.
On the Friday, before the great mind erase, hubby changed all the security codes, e.i. home phones, cells, house alarm, shops, computers, etc. lmao!!! Guess what!!! I'm playing guess this code, & reset when possible. DH has a photographic memory(no joke) his I.Q. is off the charts. So, we don't write down changed codes. We have had a few security quandaries in the past. Consequently, codes are changed bi-weekly. The resetting of phone codes, wiped out all messages. Apparently, one of the messages was from the nueroligist's office. They could squeeze DH in on Tues., if I called back asap, I didn't. This was found out, when I tried to make to get an appnt., lol
Elizabeth your post about the deep voice, cracked me up. I was sitting in bed with my lap top. I squealed so loud, it woke DH. The questions started, lmao. I could't respond to the poor man, I was laughing so hard. The look on DH's face was priceless. I turned on the lamp, grabbed the poster, shoved it at him....and ran to the bathroom, so I wouldn't pee in my p.j.'s roflmao!!!!! So that is it in a nutshell. I am sending a heart felt thank you and hugs to one and all for caring. In the future, I promise not to use avoidance 101 as much. Xoxoxo Angel
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Oh Angel, how hard that must be! My heart is aching for you. My DH has 3 brain tumours and I know I'll be in your position one day. I'd like to think the hospital would push a little hard for a diagnosis as it hasn't abated!?!?!?
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Oh no -- I'm sorry you and DH missed the appt. And that he hasn't improved -- I hope your DH gets to see a neurologist this week. If you feel like practicing avoidance 101 do it, whatever works. I'll just keep eating out of worry and say an Angel blessed me with my fat/fatter ass.
I love your humour too -- I've done that mad dash many a time...gonna pee my pants, gonna pee my pants...hahahaha all the way to the bathroom!
Dear Angel, I hope this get solved/resolved soon, immediately, right now. Post when you can/feel like it. With love,
Elizabeth
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Heavy thoughts I have read on this board. Thus, the heading of our continued posts!
Ladies - I do believe that there is a reason that all people suffer. I think that those who want the reason in a scientific or mathematical formula or equation would refute the reason(s). I think that those who want the reason(s) explained without a spiritual component are asking for the impossible to be done. I think that many people would say that the reason(s) are not "fair."
allalone - it was most likely decided to use the word "journey" at the same table as the pink colored motifs for Breast Cancer awareness were chosen. Some motivational speaker, life coach, etc. came up with it, I bet'cha. Still, no one's gonna Cancer Stage Number me, forget that.
Connie07- I salute you for educating the new doctors your way for a great reason.
leftyAKANancy - Would you reconsider being an inspiration? Nod, smile, and say "Thank you." That's all you have to do. You've already earned the respect. You don't have to become a hero because your demeanor is what she sees, she sees what you are made of already - right now. Please accept the acknowledgment because your triumphs and trials should not be discounted. They won't see the cancer patients unless they know of us, okay? Thank you for your consideration of my request.
barbe1958 - You are priceless. It took me 2.5 seconds to get your bumps in the road joke.
rinna40 - Brothers can say priceless gems like that and think they are being helpful. It's up to us to alert their wives that they are clueless to pain, as if the wife would be surprised to hear that. P.S. For some men, knowing they can't "fix it," they still have to say something about the situation you have painted for them. They pick a phrase and stick with it. It's a survival mechanism.
kmccraw423 - Testify, sister. That's the truth about how this can turn your life more sideways, upside-down, backwards, and catty-corner. That was no rant, that was Truth (Capital T). If anyone rushes the stage, I'll trip them up while you get out the back door.
I read ymb's post and felt so empty inside that my mind went on the hold button. My "gut feelings" were empty because they, my mind, my heart, and my spirit had been overwhelmed. The feeling is something that only a soul connection, i.e., a force greater than myself, can begin to work upon. For me, it's too big to handle without my faith in God.
I know that something tragic could happen to someone or ourselves; those we love or care about every day or any day. I know that I don't want anyone to call me a cancer survivor because, just to me - IMO, it sounds like I got out of it. I somehow escaped. Note here: Just as the word, "journey" has just gotten a bad connotation here; the word "survivor" is getting a bad rap here. The dictionary says otherwise for the definition of both words. Our experiences taint their meanings.
The best I can offer you for a word other than "journey" is the word "pilgrimage." Think of all the turkeys you have met thus far... and there have been some sweet things, too.
I think that "It is what it is" means "There's something there, all right, and I don't understand it. I guess what it is IS obvious to somebody, but not to me." It's just a filler, like Jack in the Box secret sauce or the creamy stuff in a Hostess Twinkie cake.
All of us want our loved ones in a safe place. When health compromises safety, security, and wellbeing, it places additional work and responsibility on others.
My own personal t-shirt for people who say insensitive things about cancer and cancer patients is "I have cancer and all of my teeth." It means that I can smile at you, or take your head off (on a bad day) if you minimize me or the cancer.
Treatment usually knocks us off our feet, if but for a few days a week for the fortunate. I don't know how anyone can keep their sanity while working with the public and/or crazed co-workers - and undergoing treatments. Throw in trying to stabilize your own health and look out for someone else's (family member, friend, etc.), and your plate is full. Ah! Throw in insensitive "family" and "friends" and not only is your plate full, you need to go on a diet plan.
Prayers for ymb and family. Even on her difficult pilgrimage, she is part of my joy because of her character.
leftyAKAnancy -
"Please don't interpret this as a death sentence, but in a way it is."
If you will allow me to speak, I reply, "No." This is a life's sentence, and it's not over. If you live long enough, you shall die, and if you live and fight long enough it will change others. Death SUX and I'll have none of it until I have to because it's not right. I'm not here for me as much as I'm here for my affect on God's Purpose for me (Yes, I said His name again, and I apologize if I offend anyone as it is not my intention to do so) and my purpose from God towards The Others. When I can live that way most the time, then I will believe that I have accomplished something in my life.
I do not seek to minimize my board ladies' feelings or discount their words. We are allowed to be truthful as to how we feel here. Our feelings change and our meanings evolve.
I think we have a lot of valid concerns, observations, questions, complaints, suggestions, and input here. We continue to have them. The problem I see is that the medical field only wants our numbers 90% of the time. Unless they can poke and measure the factor among a large population sample, they won't study it. You get grants for things you can measure, chart, and turn into medical summaries with strong objectivity. Things like our real fatigue with oncology treatment are left to us to find acknowledgment for it ... treatments ... some workable manageability.
Note that there is a current legal case where a nurse's aide was bitten and and scractched by a teenager in a hospital with multiple contagious diseases. Subsequently, the nurse's aide had a stroke. Her physician said that worry about being affected by the diseases brought it on. Neither her employer or the hospital's Worker's Comp Insurance will pay for her care. Her husband is doing his best for her at home. I'm sorry that this link is to Fox News. They are kind of "out there" and over the top a lot. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,568822,00.html
Worker's Comp treats stress like a magical condition. The government will never pay for anyone's child developing Autism post childhood innoculations. It would open a flood gate. Just like the nurse's aide above will never see a penny if the premise is that stress brought on disease. It will not be done in a court of law. See what our government did to the returning military soldiers (oh... I mean now and Viet Nam)? It ignored them, withheld treatment, told them they were okay, or said whatever was bothering them wasn't that bad. It changed up when more and more stateside suicides by returning veterans were disclosed by family members.
Have you ever seen statistics for suicides overseas for soldiers? It gets buried (pun really not intended) http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/01/30/AR2008013003106.html . Its one of those horrors that government doesn't want it's citizens to know too much about.
Hmmm. If General Practitioners, Family Doctors, Oncologists and those they call in for our chronic SEs don't have a "big picture" specialist, that leaves the individual patient. This is hard. Who told me that ER doctors don't see many cancer patients? I thought, "Why don't they? That's creepy." I didn't like hearing that. Wait! It was my oncologist's nurse, or my oncologist. Yeah.
Maybe, maybe that Oasis of Hope (in Mexico) http://www.oasisofhope.com/ that my friend told me about does have the right idea. However, it costs you your life savings to be treated there. Recovering cancer patients need a lot of nutrients and levels balanced in their bodies, if at all possible. We probably need to be flushed out of toxins. (smile, please)
Last of all, when it bothers me less about The Others seeing that I lost my hair than my knowing that I lost my hair, I'll have moved forward a little.
Your
sessna1
P.S. I am already behind the board update news. My my my, oh my.
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Thanks! I can't take the baby for the whole day cause she's still nursing about 4 times a day. Plus, it's really hard for me to move her and carry her cause my back is so bad. And Konakat, it's my son-in-law - my daughters husband thats being such an ass. They are only 25, but have been married for 3 years now. Son in Law brought a whole lot more baggage with him than any of us knew about and the real almost-a-man is shining thru. He has put on such a nice face all the years we've known him, but after being married and becoming a daddy, he seems to have lost his mind. Spending money with no concern, drugs, alcohol. Seems like whatever he wants, he finds a way to get it and it doesn't matter whom he hurts on the way. He wanted this car and he went to his wife's grandmother to get it. He got it. So, technically, he's not a concern right now. In 2 weeks, he's gonna want something else.... all I've got to say is he had better not come to me and he had better not go back to my mother. If he does, and I find out. I'm taking it to court. With or without my daughters approval. She's asked me to not get involved and that just pisses me off more.
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Oh, forgot about that nursing bit -- I've never been a mom -- haha. Maybe a nice long bubble bath with lots of bath toys? Yeah, there are a lot of almost-men out there! You gotta do what you gotta do -- if your Mom doesn't protect herself I guess you have to step in. I'm sorry you're going through all this crap!!!
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Geeta died and my sister had a double mastectomy today.
Today sucked.
Hugs to you all,
Traci
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(((Traci))) xoxo Angel
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Kak wrote:
"I often refer to this stinking sleigh-ride of BC as the Big Adventure, with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek. I also like to refer to BC in particular as the Stalker, and to the standard cancer treatment protocol as the slash/burn/poison routine or the "scorched-earth" approach"
Did you use these words in your radio broadcast? If not, then why not? BC should be presented in cold hard reality, not all pretty in pink.
ymb wrote:
"I have persevered utilizing a very well known(& loved) coping mechanism.....avoidance 101, coming to a higher learning education centre, near you, some time soon."
Avoidance 101, otherwise known as denial, which also keeps me sane (what Stalker? No such thing, the dr is a scaremonger). The way you're coping with your husband's alz is priceless....
Sessna 1 wrote:
"it was most likely decided to use the word "journey" at the same table as the pink colored motifs for Breast Cancer awareness were chosen. Some motivational speaker, life coach, etc. came up with it, I bet'cha"
That figures ... they wouldn't get much money presenting BC as it really is, and a lot of women wouldn't get screened either if they knew what they were letting themselves in for.
Traci, my sympathies, and that goes for everyone whose day was awful.
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Wow, a lot of suckage going on! And here's my two cents:
Sessna - you are one of a kind, sister. I truly belief the good Lord put you on earth to minister to the needy and spread His word. You have taught me kindness, concern for others, peace in God, being of service to others and counting my blessings. If I could live my live in service to God and others most of the time I will count my life successful. I pledge to stop cursing the dark and light a candle. Thank you for your wisdom, faith and love.
Traci - I read that Geeta died and the beautiful tribute her husband wrote to her. While I did not know her, she must have been a "hell of a woman." I am so sorry about your sister. Hugs to her for a rapid healing.
Angel - I call it the Scarlett O'Hara syndrome - "I'll think about it tomorrow." Sometimes your mind just needs time to adjust so it filters and holds some of stuff until you are ready to take it on. Does that make sense? It is merely a coping mechanism. I pray you discover what is going on with DH and it is fixed. How frightening it is for you. That's a good thing.
Connie - short of filing a restraining order, I don't know what you can do to protect your Mom. I agree you need to protect her - I have had similar situations in the past and even now. Maybe contact a lawyer and see what your options are - you can't change you sil and you sure can't reason with anybody on drugs. Regardless of your DD's feelings, your Mom's protection overrides everything else. Maybe your Mom could give you power of attorney and all spending over $100 had to be approved by you?
To all who have major suckage in their life (((((((((((HUGS!)))))))))))
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So much suckage!!!!! ;{{{{{{{{{{{{{everyone}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I just want to rant a bit about October being BC awareness month. The Pink ribbon thing did not bother me when I was first diagnosed. But now that I've gone through all that I've gone through in the past year (and still not done), and having witnessed through these chats all that the ladies here have gone through, I get really resentful of this crap being represented by a silky pink ribbon. There is nothing silky and pink about BC. I'm also frustrated by the fact that different retailers sell these ribbon pins, bracelets, necklaces .... to support research. Why not just send the money? To me it seems like they want us to shop there because they are supporting BC. I think it is a rather distasteful way of advertising. Are there any other diseases that have there own jewelry line. Call me crazy, but when I put on my jewelry, I don't want to be reminded about my BC. I'll send my money, but I'd be happy if the trinkets would be gone.0 -
I went for my flu shot at the local pharmacy - cheaper and faster than doctor's office. I used my credit card to pay for it and on the screen was " Do you want to donate to BC research?".
I almost blew a gasket - told the clerk that it was insulting to ask me this. IF I wanted to donate to ANY cause it was MY business and I would be paying with cash and cancelled the credit card transaction. When the clerk went to call the nurse to get the shot ready, I slapped one of my stickers on the counter: " Breast Cancer is a DISEASE, not a marketing ploy. Think before you pink. We need a CURE." So there... Over and out !!!
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good for you Nancy... I love the idea of these stickers..did you buy them somewhere or did you make them? I applaud your action...not just talking and complaining (thats what I do) but really doing something.
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Oh ladies...so much to have caught up on...I hope the suckage eases up!
Nancy, I'm gonna get some of those stickers from you on Sunday - it's a little nicer than my current reply when someone asks me if I want to donate...I say "I've already donated my tits, how much more do you want?" It kills my friends and co-workers, but they get it.
It's taken me over an hour to catch up...I wish I could remember everyone's individual suckage but alas, I have not been good with the short term memory these days. It's one of many issues I have, but the least of my worries at the same time.
Prayers and Hugs to you all...
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Navy - the Safeway Grocery stores ask at the register during October - I always say I have contributed and puff out my chest (have not had reconstruction yet).
Nancy - good for your girlfriend!!! At least safeway tells you how much they are contributing.
Rinna - you are correct - why not just give the money outright? Instead of spending dollars decorating packages of stuff for October, save your PR budget and go straight to the charity of your choice.
Do you know that Panera Breads makes a bagel in the form of a pink ribbon during October --- pullese!
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