Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.

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Comments

  • wishiwere
    wishiwere Member Posts: 934
    edited August 2011

    Hi Shirley and others, new and old and in-betweens :)  Yes, I remember for a time, this was the only place I did laugh, so I lived on here for a while :(  TH for BC.org...what would we have done or where would we be emotionally if we'd NOT had it!  EEekkk! I can not and do NOT want to thing about it :D

    Ruth....just wanted to mention, that maybe if your ins is AAA or another like it, they'll forgive the deductible, since you were NOT at fault at all...my hope for you...but other than that, I see a court hearing in your furture to get the $$$ :( Sux truly.... 

  • bookart
    bookart Member Posts: 210
    edited August 2011

    FLWarrior - my dad lives in Palm Harbor!  Lives with his second wife (my mom passed away in 97)  - we're all FL natives but have been out here in TX for the past 40+ years.  Just a surprise to see the town here - I'm a Largo girl, myself. 

  • bookart
    bookart Member Posts: 210
    edited August 2011

    Sorry for all the suckage here.  I've said again and again (to the point that people want to hit me) that I don't want affordable health INSURANCE; I want affordable health CARE.  Screw the freaking insurance companies!  It's a multi-billion dollar business, and they want to keep it that way. 

    I have good news, which is amazing among the wreakage/suckage.  I was trying to figure out how I was going to make my bills this month - two sickies with medical bills, partner works for Borders and will be out of a job soon, two idiot sons with expenditures, and a soon-to-be record-breaking heat wave driving up my electric costs - and not only did a foundation come through with a grant for all of partner's medical bills, but the rescue dog's infected leg amputation was paid for by several angel pet rescuers, and I got back a tax refund from Uncle Sam from 2009 that included interest.  This is NOT a joke. I nearly fell on the floor from relief (and amazement).  And to top it off, partner and I are about to leave town to go to the Cayman Islands! - a gift from my father and his wife's family, who have a house there (ancestral home of merchant seaman - believe me, none of us are rich except in love and grace!) And, I'm opening a new gallery with a bunch of talented artist friends. So, while I've had my share of suckage and I'm sure it will come again, I'm also extremely lucky and blessed - I hope things turn around for all sufferers of the wreakage of this pissant disease.

  • FLwarrior
    FLwarrior Member Posts: 614
    edited August 2011

    Bookart,  What a coincidense or small world...I used to work in Largo, AND I grew up in the Dallas suburbs!!!

    Hey, can you pass some of the good luck my way??? I sure could use some of that about right now! Glad you get to do the "happy dance"! Smile

  • bookart
    bookart Member Posts: 210
    edited August 2011

    Sending everyone Good Luck...ommmmmm....you sure deserve it - suckage reservoirs are full - time to drain it out and replace it with good times

  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 2,604
    edited August 2011

    i am so sorry that the suckage isn't getting better for many of us, here, but im so glad YOU"VE gotten a break; bookart.. you so deserve it.. enjoy the caymans' how wonderful!!!

       i continue in bed, with reading material; when im up; taking my synthroid, hoping this will all pass. im missing summer, but in so, Fla, summers' too hot, anyway!!!blessings to all for a better week.......3jays

  • miasanta2007
    miasanta2007 Member Posts: 87
    edited August 2011

    Crap, I wanna go back to work...

    bookart: your post was INSPIRING! Thanks!

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited August 2011

    Bookart WINS!!!! The Universe has chosen. Now everyone, make sure you get your tickets to next weeks draw......

  • crazydaisy
    crazydaisy Member Posts: 100
    edited August 2011

    Sue............very sucky indeed!!!! Gahhhhhhhhing with ya! Hoping for B9! (((HUGS)))) we will wait with you, I'll always remember how you got your shovel and stormed my waiting room!!!!

  • sueper13
    sueper13 Member Posts: 360
    edited August 2011

    Thanks, daisy, Shirley, for the good wishes.   Bookart, I'm in Ft. Worth, where is your gallery going to be? 

    Insurance sucks.   High deductibles when you  are not guilty of anything suck.  Medical bills so high even with insurance sucks.  I have had eight surgeries in the past three years and have had to pay high bills even with "cadillac" health insurance!   I know  I have no bitch because at least I have and will be able to keep coverage no matter what--being a retired civil servant is a good thing!  But not being able to have treatment at all because you have no insurance is just wrong.  I don't think it has been fixed, either, not by a long shot.

    Doctors who leave you hanging and you have to call and remind them of things when you are so worried SUCK!  I am waiting for the actual guy who is going to be doing the actual biopsy to call and schedule it.  He has had all three reports since Monday morning.  Gaah!

    Thanks for letting me bitch.  I'm probably out of practice so I got it in the wrong order or something.   Being back on this thread on a semi-regular basis DOES NOT SUCK!!

    Love,

    Sue

  • prayrv
    prayrv Member Posts: 362
    edited August 2011

    Minor suckage here, but.....

    why is it that with this summer of 2nd worst drought in Texas history, I had to go and break a bone (long weight-bearing one in my driving foot) and have to wear the HOT boot on my foot since the beginning of June until probably at least mid September. 

    argh..........

    Trish

  • Hauntie
    Hauntie Member Posts: 369
    edited August 2011

    My first time posting on this thread and my suckage is so minor compared to the rest of you, I almost feel guilty posting. I was supposed to have a PMX today and on Friday it was postponed until next Wednesday. There have been so many delays in getting this scheduled and it's been such an emotional roller coaster. Today, I just keep thinking it should have been over by now. 

    I live in a state that requires you to have health insurance and offers subsidized plans for those that can not afford private insurance. I have private insurance, but the co-pays are ridiculous - day surgery co-pay $150. They keep me overnight - co-pay $500.

  • navygirl
    navygirl Member Posts: 369
    edited August 2011

    WOW...just a drive by to say "THAT SUX" to all who need it...as I was catching up on the past 3 or 4 pages I just nodded my head in agreement ;)

    Just wanted to let you all know I'm thinking of you and keeping our little "family" in my prayers. Summer is flying by, but healthwise I'm still on an upswing so I'm at least enjoying it. Good to see some of the old folks and delighted to see some new folks!

    (((hugs)) everyone! 

  • Connie07
    Connie07 Member Posts: 446
    edited August 2011

    Hi Ladies,

    My mammo was fine, it caused some swelling but not nearly as bad as the one I had 6 mos. ago. Thank Goodness for small things.  DD3's second go-round with a suspicious pap was a flop. The Doc said her cervix is tilted so much so that he couldn't get another pap smear.Rather than hurt her trying to get it, he said, we will just do it after the baby comes. (late January) so, it was probably 'unusual' because she's pregnant and the lab didn't know that. Too many other juicy things to worry about than that. We dropped the subject.

    Hey Shirley! welcome back. Barbe, I do hope you can get the hot water turned back on before it gets too cold up there.  and whoever it was that thought Georgia was a better place to be in thie heat must have been talking about the north GA mountains, cause it's miserable heat. Today my car said 99 and we have had over 60 days in a row of over 90. It does suck the energy right out of you.

    There is something horribly wrong with the insurance companies having the power that they do. They seem to want to take over the entire medical system and that would be a truly bad thing to let happen. This medical mess is a nightmare, especially in the light of Recession/Depression. That the treatments are available, but only to those who are 'covered' is so wrong. When this many people are unemployed and the gov't hesitates to step in even though its a vital need, you have to wonder who is really pulling the strings??? And why do they pull them so unfairly?  With the absurd cost of medical care without insurance and the absurd costs of insurance it's a lose-lose situation. It wasn't this way even 15 years ago. How did they (Ins. co's) get so powerful? Their "plans" can dictate which doc you can see, which hospital you can get treated in and they probably have "outs" for themselves for practically every complication. The part that really gets me is that IF you are employed, with a large company, you get decent enough coverage. But there are so many unemployed and have you searched for an independent health ins policy? It's just AWFUL. My DH used to have a group of 16, now it's just him and BCBS won't cover him under the group anymore. AND they offer no alternatives. No COBRA, which IMO is the biggest rip-off of all. And even if you can afford it, it's only good for 18 months. Then you're screwed again by the big insurance company.

    Ruth- I wish I had some answers for your situation. The car wreck sux max.

    Had a Revelation regarding the sorry excuse for a mom that I have. She resents me. That one little statement says so much. She also pits me and my brother against each other because it's beneficial to HER. Should we EVER get on speaking terms again, we could and probably would discover the web of frivilous spending she spins and put a stop to it.  Those 3 llittle words explain SO MUCHl  doesn't make it all better by a long shot, but it does explain so much. I feel better just knowing.

    TTFN, Connie

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited August 2011

    Connie, I think you're on to something there with your mom. So let me ask you to do something. Pity her. Just pity. Nothing else. See how you feel with pity. Poor mom, what a loser....

  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 592
    edited August 2011

    Whatever was going on is/was NOT your fault, you did nothing to cause it. Its about her bad behavior nd actions and decisions. Nothing you can do to change it, or her. Sad as it may be. I am glad you have had some insight, makes it better when (at least for me)whatever it is can be identified, named, acknowledged. Hugs dear Connie.

  • Connie07
    Connie07 Member Posts: 446
    edited August 2011

    Thanks ya"ll. Its always better to know the truth regardless of what the truth really is. 

    EWB, I'm so sorry for the crap you are dealing wiith now, (((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) to you and prayers for a do-able, reasonable outcome.

    You ladies who are stage IV and fighting are truly an inspiration, in many ways. That you still share with the rest of us is just remarkable. I hope to never add (or see) your screen name to the list of Angels. We lost Konakat this year, :(   Makes me feel so many emotions. She and I were dx about the same time. But she lost and I didnt, yet. There really is no rhyme or reason.

    I went to my high school reunion, 40 years have passed. It was a blast til I saw this guy that i used to swim with when we were kids, he has ALS and is confined to a wheelchair. Prognosis 3-5 years. Its been 3 weeks since I saw him and I think about him everyday. ...  If you knew, . . . if you knew that you were imminently terminal. . .  what would you do differently??  Would you be so occupied with every moment of everyday that you wouldn't realize the passage of time?  Is that the same as living your bliss? Or would it be more of a struggle to survive those passing days and therefore not realize the time passing? Then its gone. and you"re watching from "above", your survivors, participating at your memorial? 

    And what about our "bliss". Do we ALL have a calling?  What if we are nearly 60 and have yet to discover our "blisss"?  How does one find that NOW?? Is there a quiz somewhere?

    Barbe, How are u doing at home? It's hard to believe you spent so much time on the job, (before), in so much pain. Bet it's a trip, of sorts, not having to punch the timeclock?  Are you managing alright?  Its pretty weird when you've worked for soooooooooo long and then. . ...BAM, you're not. Quite the transition. But, I admit it's SO much better not having to answer to anyone, EVERYDAY.

    OK...................TMI..............   ITS LATE...  gotta go to sleep, 

    Love the Lot of ya,

    ~Connie 

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited August 2011

    Connie, I thought I'd go out of my mind at home. On holidays I actually got depressed and anxious wanting to get BACK to work!!! I've figured it out though. I was afraid of 'crashing'. I was afraid that once I truly stopped I'd never get back up to speed. I was right to worry, as now I CANNOT imagine going to work ever again!! There are some days I do nothing and now I don't even feel guilty about it!! Lot's of doctors' appointments and stuff to keep me out and about on the other days. Some days I stay in my nightie all day. The only thing I make sure I do, is stay away from my bed. I'll lie down on the sofa, but not on the bed. That' s a slippery slope I don't want to have to go on.

    What's this about bliss?

  • sueper13
    sueper13 Member Posts: 360
    edited August 2011

    Barbe, I am exactly the same about my bed--going there in the daytime is a slippery slope!!

    I have a biopsy of my sternum on August 18th.  I am pretty worried, if you want to know the truth.  All three scans (CT, bone and PET) are suggestive of a single met to my sternum.  But I  dropped a canoe on that bone once, and I had been coughing my head off for three weeks with bronchitis when I got the scans....so I still hope it was only inflammation.  I am waking in the night with tears and fear.  My husband will not even discuss the possibilities.   This is such a lonely place to be.

  • chabba
    chabba Member Posts: 3,600
    edited August 2011

    sue - yes lonely but here you are among sisters who understand and are here for you.  You will be in the hearts and thoughts of so many as you await the biopsy and the results. 

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited August 2011

    Sue, now really...is it just a co-incidence that the EXACT spot a canoe hit you now has mets?? A SINGLE met??? You know deep down in your heart that it can't POSSIBLY be mets....right??? Of course you're terrified!!! I would be too!!!!!!!!!!

  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Member Posts: 344
    edited August 2011

    Trish, I just saw your post about your broken foot.  I fell about three weeks ago.  My leg and foot went "to sleep" and when I got up IT WAS GONE...LOL  Anyway, I fell and my foot hurt like heck.  It turned blue and ached when not standing on it just for the first night.  And it continued to hurt swell some.  I decided to see the orthopedic doc two weeks later to find out for sure if there was a broken bone or not.  No broken bone.  He did say, however, that he could give me a boot if it hurt to walk on and to shelp the swelling.  I said..no..that if I needed one I'd come back.  I thought...IT'S TOO HOT TO WEAR ONE OF THOSE!  You poor thing.  My DH had to wear one for weeks when I was dxd with BC. 

  • prayrv
    prayrv Member Posts: 362
    edited August 2011

    Shirley,

    Glad to see you posting again.  I don't post very often, but I do have my favorite threads send me email notifications when others post, so I do try to keep up.  The long bone didn't just break, it actually snapped in two.  So that's why I have to be in it so long.  However in suckage otherwise inverted, I saw the orthopedic dr. yesterday and he said I can start to wean myself off the boot.  But I have a feeling that it will still be awhile before I am boot free.  I hope your foot continues to heal.

    Hugs,

    Trish

  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Member Posts: 344
    edited August 2011

    Connie, I just wanted to say that I can understand your feelings toward your mom.  I had to let it go many, many, many years ago.  However, I do live in a different state.  She is 94 and is in a nursing home and I wonder what kind of QOL she has.  Long story, but I feel sorry for her.

    Sue, I posted something for you under the "not dxed yet, but...." thread.  I know your very frightened.  On the other hand, you will be glad the biopsy is over.  And like Barbe said, mets? after the canoe hit you in the exact same place. 

    Barbe, I'm sorry to hear that you're having a difficult time no being able to work.  Don't be hard on yourself when you feel like doing NOTHING.  I have to PUSH myself to MAKE myself go...I'm just plain tired...LOL

  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Member Posts: 344
    edited August 2011

    Tirsh, mine is healed.  There's a tiny bit of soreness, but that's it.  I'm a clutz.  The last time I had a bone scan and CT scan, my DH pulled the car up...I started to get in...I step off the curb and turned my ankle!  OUCH!  I then had to see my onc and the sweet woman gave me an ice pack for our drive which is a little over two hours.  That was about 5 months ago.  It took me two weeks to see the ortho then also.  I know he thinks I'm nuts...LOL

    My DH had stress fractures on the top of his foot.  They had to do a bone scan to see it.  I remember seeing him walk in that thing and I wanted no part of it if I didn't need it. 

  • Connie07
    Connie07 Member Posts: 446
    edited August 2011

    Barbe, I did what you said... to just pity my mother and I've tried and tried, It seems to make me feel sorry for her, I do feel that. But she's brought all her misery upon herself. The hardest part is knowing that I have a brother "out there" whom I have gotten along with and actually enjoyed being with sometimes and it's her words and stories that keep him suspicious of me or actually condeming me for lies mom has told him. I feel like I'm coming to some level of understanding about what she did, why she did it and why she continues to do it. One day, I'll rise above it and not feel like the red-headed step child that I AM NOT. Thanks for the tip.

    The "living your bliss" is from Oprah. It embodys the notion that if we were living the lives that we dreamed of in primary school, then we would be living our bliss. So, I always thought that when I wasn't working anymore I could figure out what my Bliss is and do it. Which in my case, means making money at something I love and/or am passionate about, living, making a living inside my favorite things. But I really don't know what that is. So, how can you live your bliss when you can't find it?

    Typing at 4:15 am isn't exactly blissful, but i do like keeping iin touch with all of you. So, if anyone has links to Finding your bliss please forward them to me.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited August 2011

    Feeling sorry for your mom is okay. That's part of the pity! Silly, sad mom....what a lost cause! Doesn't she know that when she is gone you and your brother will get together and he'll find out about all those lies?

    Who the HELL can affort to live their bliss???  I should have known it was someone as stupid as Oprah. She can do anything with her kind of money. I wonder if she ever didn't have enough to pay the gas man??????

  • Harley44
    Harley44 Member Posts: 2,126
    edited August 2011

    Sue,

    I also understand your fears.  I agree with the others, that it is very doubtful that it is mets, in the exact place you hit with the canoe...    I will say try not to worry too much, but I know that is impossible.

    I am having these 'bone' pains, started in my left shoulder, the shoulder blade hurts, and sometimes the scapula and the upper arm.   BUT, now, my right shoulder hurts too.  AND, my left butt cheek, with pains down the leg...  now having some pain in the right leg too...   so, I am so VERY VERY scared!  I can't turn off my mind...    and I am getting headaches, too...   I feel like every day there is some new kind of pain.  Also..  I have been SO VERY VERY TIRED....     well, to me, all this spells mets...   I am terrified....   

    Harley

  • leisaparis
    leisaparis Member Posts: 326
    edited August 2011

    I have pretty much all those same pains. I also hurt in the front chest area. They sent me through the whole battery of tests and came back ALL CLEAR. Still don't know what is causing all the pain, so for now I'm just dulling it down with Ibuprofen. They said if that didn't work then they would put me back on steroids. I really don't want to go there, so Ibuprofen it is. Good Luck to you.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited August 2011

    Harley, of course you're exhausted!!! You are spending SO much energy worrying!!! That's okay too, it's something we need to do sometimes. Prepare for the worst, but expect the best!