Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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Amy,
that 'cruise' sounds great! Sign me up!
I can really identify with the whole identity crisis thing! I don't know who I am anymore. When I looked in the mirror, I really didn't know WHO that face was, staring back at me. Post-chemo, my hair came back TOTALLY WHITE!!
So, at 5 months, I took the plunge, and decided to color it, but I am still not too happy with the color my stylist picked. I wanted MORE RED! Tomorrow, I may go to see a new hair stylist, to see if she has any ideas. But, aside from the hair, I still don't know who I am, 'cause I've changed SO MUCH since this whole bc adventure began, over a year ago.
I thought it was just me...Hope everybody has a less sucky day...
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Howdy all. A hearty "That sooo sucks!" to everyone who needs it.
My bitch today is doctors. Sick of them! I just flipped over the page for May and I have FOUR bloody appointments next month! WTH?!?
Today I say my PCP who gave me a 'script for a CAT scan because my sinuses from hell have been completely plugged for two months and the two antibiotics I've had have done nothing but give me yeast infections. The pressure is unreal and I get relief - the ability to breathe out of my nose - only when I am running or during karate. So sucks...
What's even worse is I hurt my foot in class almost two weeks ago and it is still swollen, so she wants to get that x-rayed, too. I just got the scripts this morning and I can't find them! And no, I didn't have chemo, so that's no excuse. I'm just losing my mind, that's all...
So I'm hobbling with a throbbing head and a dry mouth/throat from mouth breathing. Feels good to be alive, I tell ya
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Goodness Im laughing and crying here. "The Crown of Glory" ah yes I know it well. I had hoped for curly hair to grow back, but instead it grew different lengths all over the place. Was very thin. My crown and widows peak were the last to come in! Even when I got it styled short - it didnt look like others who looked cute with short hair. It DOES grow back and it DOES get thicker! So now, I have to spend 45 minutes washing, putting mouse and volumizer in, then drying, then setting it with hot curlers, then tease it, then put more volumizer in, then Freeze It! I have learned to make it look like the beauty shop, but that only took 3 years. I always had long hair, cause I was never good at styling it. The one thing that did work when it was first growing back? I spiked it!
I looked in the mirror today and saw a monster. My roots are grey - my hair is black. My watch broke, I have gained so much weight I had to take my wedding ring and birthstone rings off. I have 2 teeth missing - and have to save up to get a bridge since they are charging $5,000.00! My insurance will pay half. My belly sticks out and I waddle like Im pregnant.
Thats my whine today! On a more serious note, when I was bald I couldnt picture myself with hair again. Now that my hair is growing back I cant picture myself bald.
Amy: Yep, I have lost the old me. And I won't get her back. Im just waiting to find something I like about the new me.
Harley: My hair grew back salt and pepper. I remember the day I went and got it colored. The day before I was given a senior discount at Kohls!
Felicia: A clogged nose for 2 month sucks big time.
Hanna: Sta cha gheet! It means shup up a your mouth.
Bren: That sucks big time!
A big hello to everyone else. Gotta run. Walked along the shores of Lake Michigan during lunch. Took a picture of the rocks I climbed the day I was diagnosed. Climbed to the very end and dangled my legs. That signified the beginning of this crazy journey.
nicoletta
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Oh, you girls can make me laugh................and I thank you!
Nicki: Quite a descriptive piece about yourself.....and not all true...you know that!
My bitch is how much I've aged. I look at pictures from 4 or 5 years ago and want to puke when I look in a mirror today................
And if my face doesn't remind me that my body is now acting 15 years older than it is................my knees and fingers will stick and creak and hurt just to remind me that I am a real piece of work!
You know what is oh so becoming...................to kneel down in a store to look at something way down on the shelf.................and have to stick the butt up in the air and push up with both hands to stand back up!!!! Oh yea......I'm sure the 'ole ass' is on many a security camera!
I've read and read..........just don't remember to many names yet........so..hope you all have a bitchin good moaning and groaning night!
Neesie
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Forgot to say.................cruise................what cruise???? I love to cruise! Fill me in..................................geez...volcabulary check....how many times can I say Cruise!
Neesie
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I'm too groggy to catch up on my reading so I'll just throw in a huge IT SUCKS!
Thanks to all for the positive thoughts and prayers. They must have worked because the pain is just a dull ache. Surgery went well and I spent the night and was kicked out at 11:00AM. I see my surgeon next Tuesday for a check up and my Onc on May 5th to get my final pathology report. Keep those positive thoughts going that some lil bugger didn't go somewhere it wasn't supposed to and cause more s#it in my body. I do NOT want to go through chemo again. Oh, and the IV in the foot...not too bad to deal with but it made walking on my tiptoe weird...
Drugs...I need more drugs...you girls are the best!
Linda
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Linda - Glad to hear you're doing well. Keeping my fingers crossed nothing else pops up.
Hanna - You crack me up girl!
My suck for the day is my daughter took me shopping for bras because the PS wants me to start wearing a soft one. I found some sports bras at Penney's that zip in the front and were on sale for $9.99. Tried it on and thought I bought the right size, but after wearing it for a while it left some marks on me and I think it may be too tight. . .the PS said nothing tight, but I'm not sure what too tight means. So I think I'll send my daughter over to pick up the next size tomorrow and try it out. But that's not my gripe. . .my gripe is being shut up in my house for 3 weeks (with the exception of 2 dr appt) and the first day I get out the pollen starts making me sneeze like crazy which is major suckiness on a tram stomach. Now I'm shut in the house again and had to resort to turning on my AC because it's so hot and breathing the air was killing me.
Hope everyone else had an unsucky day.
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o.k.........So, I spent the last hour reading everybody posts (no, I don't read slow but I forget (lol Diane....can't remember sh*t!) and so I have to read again....)
Hannah, your post freaking cracked me up. I started really laughing hard when you were talking about your kids thinking you were talking to yourself when you were really singing to yourself and by the end of your jury scanning story and the "gel bombs" I was almost crying. That was hilarious. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope, you reminded me of that scene in Steel Magnolia's when they were at the funeral and Malynne wanted to hit something and the other girl grabbed Weezer and said "hit this"! (Did anybody else love that movie?)
Dani, glads your foobs are great. Bragger. (just kiddin') : - )
Ann, I'm afraid to ask but....how'd you do on the tax appeal????My smiley's aren't working....... : - (
Amanda, "clearly need therapy"....another comedian! lol! What all expenses paid sailing retreat? Not that I would dare get my fat ass on a boat but still....
Felicia, yeast infections are worthy of a runner up for sure for the bitch of the day award.....
Nicki, (I mean big foot...lol!!! I missed that the first time) that is pretty wild you put that pic of where you sat the day of dx to think. When I finally got alone....I went to the beach and sat there for over 3 hours just thinking.....
Neesie, lol on bending down and getting back up! I can sooooo relate to that.
Somebody mentioned spell check....where is that???????
Linda, glad your o.k. girl.
Sheila, make sure you rest. My 'lil sis did not give her body time to heal after her tram flap and she is regretting it now.
Diane, that blows my mind about your lymph nodes. Unbelievable.
k.....I think that is it! Can y'all tell I wrote stuff down!!??? No way I would have remembered all of that!!
My bitch for the day is.....well, nevermind....the day is almost over thank goodness!
: - ) Traci
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Linda, I'm so glad you're sounding so good after surgery, and keeping fingers crossed for path report.
Traci and Felicia -- thanks for the good thoughts about tax appeal. It was semi-successful, which is really fantastic! The judge agreed we were assessed incorrectly and he can fix it GOING FORWARD (bill that will be issued on July 1 for 08-09) -- woo-hoo! Not in his jurisdiction to fix excessive assessments for the past 2 years, BUT he advised us who to write to and how to word the letter -- so that's something, and we feel much more optimistic about possibility of fixing past things, too. So I came home and fell asleep at 5:30 pm, woke up with a stiff neck, took some valium I've been hoarding since implant swap, and am feeling "nice"...
Felicia, all those things suck -- sinuses, foot injury, yeast...
Everybody -- I DIDN'T write everything down like Traci did, so combined with the valium I just have to say "Group Hug" and sorry for the things that suck!
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OK...how is this for weird??? The whole back half of my tongue is swollen and red! The taste buds look about 4 times their normal size and they hurt.....what the hell??? Every time I swallow it feels like I am swallowing broken chunks of rocks. Grrrrr.....just what I need, some weird freaking symptom! I go in for chemo tomorrow. My blood counts we high enough by 1/10 of a point....talk about squeaking by.
Deb C
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Oh Deb, that sounds awful. Hope they can help you some tomorrow,
Ann
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Deb, you may have a good ole yeast infection in your mouth. Did they give you any mouthwash? Have you tried gargling with a little warm salt water?
Hanna, I've been on jury duty. I hope to heck I never get called back. I'll have to tell them I have chemo brain and can't think, can't remember "jack" (as gsg puts it), and that I'm a zombie. And I cooked Catalina Chicken tonight. We have rice with it. Husband eats white rice, I eat brown rice....soooo, different pots. And I heard something about rice on the news but didn't catch it. I think there's a shortage!
But he cleaned the kitchen again so I guess I won't gripe.Felicia, NETI POT! That'll cure them sinuses...saw it on Oprah...Dr. Oz was one and had someone use it. They claim it works wonders. After the show aired no one could find them in the pharmacies. People went out and bought them all up.
Linda, so glad you're home from surgery. I couldn't wait to get home. Hope and pray your path report comes back GOOD!
I LOVED Steel Magnolias. I don't know if I could watch it now. I'd probably cry more now than when I saw it the first time.
Neesie, you know what's really bad when you kneel down and get back up. It's when you kneel and fall on your butt!
Ooooooohhh, and now my knees hurt. I don't know if it's from the AI or aging!Hope everyone has a nonsucky day today!
Shirley
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Good grief...I was reading Traci's post and she said my name and something about lymph nodes and I was like, "WTH? Is there ANOTHER Diane here?" CRAP! Talks about can't remember sh!#$*---it was just one page back when I posted about it.....and I haven't even done chemo yet! What's my excuse?
Deb, that totally sucks!! I hope you are able to get some relief soon.
Ann--tax problems. UGH.
Shirley, I saw on GMA this morning that Costco and Sam's Clubs are limiting the amount of rice people can purchase because of a worldwide shortage. We grow TONS of rice right here in the US (Arkansas). Are we exporting too much of that, too? Heck, I'm all for helping others (like exporting rice to countries with huge hunger problems), but shouldn't it be like flying on a plane when the oxygen mask comes down? You know, help yourself first so you are ABLE to help others? These gas prices and now food prices are getting so out of hand. I have seen gas prices going up DAILY here for at least a month. I surely don't know the answer, but I hope one is found soon.
A hearty, THAT SUCKS!!! to all. May today be less sucky than yesterday.
)Diane
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Yeah, badbood67 Diane
, I just now...JUST NOW...heard that food prices are going up due to making ethanol. Guess we'll now have a shortage of corn! Something needs to be done and SOON! Like NOW! We'll be going to Charlotte in May for my grandson's b'day. Then, we'll go again for my (I should say OUR) granddaughter's kindergarten graduation. She's reciting a poem.
Those trips will cost of over $100 in gas. A tank going up and a tank coming back. We need to get a car that gets better gas mileage. Other than making trips to onc (out of town) or Charlotte we don't use that much gas. However, those trips costs so much now!My gripe, bitch
, POLITICIANS, GET OFF YOUR ARSE AND TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HECK NEEDS TO BE DONE! After all, you're working for US! Tell other countries..sorry, but we have to keep our rice (of course except for the countries are really need it). I guess you better look into something other than ethanol. It costs to much to make!We're gonna be in a freaking depression before we know it (and I'm depressed enough
).DH's b'day today. Soooo, I'm fixing that Red Velvet Cake for him (Yeah, right!). The recipe that I found on line is from the Waldorf-Astoria. It should be good cuz it's costing quite a bit to make. Didn't realize Mascrapone cheese cost so much...have $10 worth in the cake. So, if I come back here groaning and moaning that it was too dry.....Did I tell ya'll that it had beets in it. Yep, a HEALTHY cake! LOL
Shirley
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Linda, glad you are doing ok. Keeping good thoughts and prayers coming your way...
Ann, good news about the tax stuff. Feels good to fight back and win, doesn't it?!?
Deb, It does sound like thrush (oral yeast infection) you got going on. Hoping you get some relief soon...
Sam, hope you find some bras you like and that fit. I hatted the zipper front ones when I had the prosthesis. Felt like a mini straight jacket...
Traci, hope the day ended on a non-sucky note...
Shirley, I have a Netti-Pot but my sinuses are so plugged I can't even get the saline solution into my sinuses. Ever try drinking anything with a plugged nose? My sinuses pop and gurgle so much that other people actually hear it. Gotta get this fixed soon or one day my head is gonna explode. Sooo sucks...
Diane, CRS disease is going around these days...
My son came home today with no Christmas in April gift from daddy dearest (what a surprise, right?). What a freaking waste of skin he is...
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I have to get off of here, but just wanted to say something to Felicia. There is no word or adjective in the dictionary to describe the jerk he is. He didn't even take him shopping for something since he didn't have a LATE Christmas gift for him? Don't you just wish the man would go away and that you didn't have to let your son see him. That's mean of me because that would be punishing your son. However, your son is punished enough having this jerk for his "father." He certainly isn't a DAD!
Shirley
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Felicia,
It pains me to read about your son's "dad" (and I use that term VERY loosely.) Although my ex can be an insensitive clod, and very selfish, he loves our son, that much is clear. I do know what it's like to see your child hurt because of the insensitivity/selfishness, and see them learn from a very young age to never expect anything, never complain, and never hold a grudge. It breaks my heart. (And this is more along the lines of picking him up for the weekend, birthday present in hand for the party he's invited to, and his dad saying, "oh, no, you're not going to that party, we have other plans." Nothing even close to your rat bastard ex's sorry excuse for taking up precious air and space on this planet.) I just wish I could give you a big hug. So here's one OK? I mean in addition to the that sucks! And give that boy a squeeze for me OK? He got a reject in the dad department, but he got one hell of a mom, and you more than make up for the deficit, that much is clear.
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Felicia, I feel so bad for your son. In the case of my son and his dad (my ex) there were similar disappointments. But when my ex remarried and had 2 little sons (18 and 20 years younger than my boy, their big brother) -- my ex's new wife set him straight! She's a really good match for ex -- much bossier than me, and he sure needs to be bossed around! Not my style, and not how I want to spend my time -- but thank God for his new wife -- she would NEVER let my son be neglected or go empty-handed at their house, for Xmas or any other occasion. (Similarly, I make sure that she and the little boys get presents on from me and/or my son, as appropriate. Not that I have to monitor my son anymore, but that when ex first remarried, I made sure my son was being inclusive and thoughtful towards new wife.)
Of course, it's your ex's responsibility and not his new wife's -- but still, I'm "disappointed in her" for not making sure your son was treated right. Maybe that's not fair of me. But I'm certainly grateful that my ex's new wife is such a great person -- and that with TWO women working him over, my ex has steadily improved in his fathering.
(At her oldest son's 5th birthday, when I told new wife what a delicious cake it was, and she said she got it from a bakery, and I said she picked a good one, she blurted out to me, "THANK you... X made me feel so guilty, he kept saying, 'Ann always made HOMEMADE birthday cakes'!"
And I blurted out "WHAT an a$$hole!" And I said, "Of course he could never tell me at the time, 'Ann, that's so great of you to make those cakes' -- he never used it to make me feel GOOD, but now he's using it to make someone else feel BAD??!!")
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Just got this in an e-mail. Thought it was too cute. Hope I've copied it in here right.
Thought for the day
Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
Piss on it and walk away.
Well, it had a real cute picture of a dog, but I can't get it to copy into the message. I tried putting it in my photobucket but still no luck. I've got to learn how you guys do that. Anyway, I thought the message was relevant to this board.
Haven't had time to read all the posts. Hope everyone had a less than sucky day.
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Hi Ladies,
Thought I would join in with my bitch for the day.I am sooooooooooooooo PISSED. My exchange surgery for tomorrow Apr.25 has been cancelled because my hemoglobulin is only 84 due to a prolonged period that will not stop. This has been going on since March 11 and the medication that I usually take to get it to stop is not working and I tried it 3 times. NO ONE IS LISTENING TO ME!!! The OB-GYN doctor will not give me a Merena IUD because it emits hormones and I do not have the hormone status of my BC. I have called the BS doctor's secretary who is the only one who has any brains, and it seems that they did not do the testing at the time of double mast as no more BC was found at that time. The Path Lab secretary was trying to get this tissue tested when there is no BC in those samples. So, after 3 calls from the BS's secretary now the Path Lab's other secretary(the one with the brain) is going to have them test the tissue sample from the excisional biopsy from Oct 18/07. Soooo here I sit with no hormone status on my BC and I have been asking about it since before the bilat mast. My only other option is to have a uterine ablation done but the OB-GYN will not do that until 6-8 weeks after the exchange surgery. Now my exchange surgery is booked for June 6/08. More time for me and my tissue expanders to get to know each other!!!!!!!! I think that I bought all the spinach and chick peas in the grocery store today, and other yummy and wonderful food to get the old iron level up. Too bad wine was not loaded with iron because I am going to go and have some after this.!!!!! Thankx for letting me vent. Only BC women could truly understand my frustration. And I do love the BS's secretary Christine, a woman with attitude and she does her job damn well. I will have to buy her some flowers on my next trip to the hospital to brighten up her office.
Take Care Everyone,
Kerry
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Felicia , I am so sorry your son was treated this way, what a disgusting excuse for a man your ex is.
I'd go out of my way from now on to start and break all contact, no kid deserves to be forgotten at Christmas....but from his own 'father', what must your son have felt like??
Don't have him waiting by the 'phone for calls from the barsteward, make excuses to get out the house, and make sure cells are switched off, so calls cannot get thru, that is if ever your ex remembers he has a son.
I have similar trouble with my ex. He just completely forgets the g/kids, always used to be a present for them, then it got to money in a card, then a card, now, for the last 2 years he has written them off....just no contact. His excuse ?? He can't remember 'all' those dates. WTF. there are only 6 of them to remember.
I have just had the mother of all shouting matches with him, just a month ago. He forgets our 2 kids as well, so I went over to see him to tell him just how he was treating the kids and grandkids. He was just not bothered, was so full of trying to tell me about the cruise he had just booked for his ladyfriend, so I just lost it....things came out that had been festering in my head for years, hehehe, I felt tons better !!! Two of his neighbours came out to see what the commotion was all about, he threatened me with police, and I beat a very quick retreat !!!! Boy, did I feel good about what I had got off my chest.
But, I don't think he will ever speak to any of us again. Not a great loss.
Isabella.
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kes,
I HATE these stories of testing that doesn't get done, wrong samples sent, etc. Sucks so bad. As does anemia. And never-ending period is HORRIBLE.
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that was funny!Kerry, that does suck. I know we are not really supposed to do this...it sorta falls into the "it's gonna be fine" catagory but, not really cuz I am referencing my crap. The longer those expanders are in, the better your final outcome is going to be. Now don't get mad....if you go to the continued expander pain or how do you like your reconstruction threads...you won't see anybody bitching more than me. But just wanted you to know, If I had to do it over again, knowing what I know now, I would have left my expanders in for another 3 months. Now that I have typed it....I think that sounds like a bitch!!!
I hate my reconstruction and my PS said "I told you!" Well, you didn't tell me loud enough you JERK!!! (I wonder if he is Felicia's son's dad's brother?) Be back later. Gotta finish the day!!
Hugs everybody.
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Ok here is my bug sucky statement for the day. Getting up at 4:15 am, making coffee, get all settled in my computer room and comcast is down. Its down, down, down and not a picking thing I can do about. So there I am awake, drinking coffee with 1 1/2 hours to waste. Cant fall back to sleep. Put on the TV - yes in the bedroom. To watch the news. And guess what, it woke up DH. Yes the same one that kept me awake all night the other night! And he had the gall to say to me, turn that down, I cant sleep.
Neese: I knew you would appreciate the in depth description of myself. At least I read the make up hints thread. My eyes look good. They look real good - if I can conceal the dark circles.
Linda: I hate to think you were kicked out of the hospital so soon after the surgery. It angers me actually. Hoping today is a better day for you.
Sam: Bra shopping sucks.
Anne: I love group hugs!
DebC: Thats sounds awful. I've heard about chemo making the mouth sore, and getting mouth sores. You can get biotene tooth paste and mouth wash, and that is supposed to help when your getting chemo. Hope they fix this sucky problem quickly.
Shirley: Your post about the politicians? I agree with everything you said.
My time has run out. A big hug and a big that sucks to everyone who needs it.
Nicki
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Nicki, if I were you, I'd be bitching about getting up at 4:15 am.
Good grief!
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Shirley,
Tell your dh I said HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Gee, do you think he'll eat that cake, if you put beets in it? I mean, won't it be too healthy for him??Nicki,
I can't believe that your DH would get all upset at you for turning ON the TV, when he had it ON ALL NIGHT, and you were just supposed to ignore it, and go to sleep! MEN!! It sucks that you were up SO EARLY in the morning, and couldn't get back to sleep!!
Harley
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My bitch, I broke my fingernail while baking the cake! No, the fingernail is not IN the cake. I had cake splattering here and there. Then, when it came to the real fattening icing I had that splattering good! I would HAVE to lick a finger...C'MOM girls..you know you've done that too when cooking...to get the stuff off. You don't have to tell anyone though. That's our little secret (between cooks). And I won't talk about all the cleaning in the kitchen after making the cake (mess). I'm exhausted after making that stupid cake!
My other groan is I'm fat AND I made that cake! But who's fault was that?
Another bitch..I have to cook again..LOL Will be chicken again tonight. I found an easy recipe from S. Beach Diet. Of course it's dh's b'day. He better cook my b'day dinner next month!
Nicki, the politicians are only good for
.Okay, my suckies don't suck that much. Hoping for most of you a not so sucky day.
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Well, Harley, I thought I was so smart by finding a recipe that had beets in the cake. The reason for the beets...not for health. LOL Back in the depression they used them for the color or something. Now I'll have to go back and ask Mr. Google cuz I already forgot. But, it made me feel very poor! Nah, the darned icing cost a fortune. Just hope the crap (I mean, cake) tastes okay.
Oh, how was your strawberry shortcake b'day cake?
Shirley
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Shirley,
The neighbor's strawberry shortcake ala angel food cake wasn't as good as I remember it being, when she made it last year!
She makes angel food cake, and then frosts it with vanilla pudding, and strawberries.
DH had to take our bottle of champagne over, so we had to share it with our neighbors. Probably just as well... I shouldn't be drinking so much!!
Harley
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