Im bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.
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I just read in Rolling Stone magazine there are now cute looking high heel Crocs! This is true! They are the real deal Crocs and they are really cute and I don't think we'll fall down in them! Big plus! I've been in flats for so long I feel precarious in 2 inch heels. I'll try to find a link. I want these shoes!
What thread is this...they are all starting to blend in with each other and I'm getting dizzy.
Shirley, it's morning so you'll have to wait till tonight to share what's left of my Sauvignon Blanc! Loosey Goosey hour begins at 6 PM!
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BTW - I just noticed this is the moan and groan thread so I'm going to say (I know I'm not from Kentucky but I can appreciate the magnitude of importance the Kentucky Derby has in the hearts of Kentuckians..but), I really am pissed off about the way the horses Run for the Roses (the late Dan Fogelberg) and get hurt so badly or die. It breaks my heart and I just can't even bring myself to read what happened. I just wish they'd leave money and humans personal gain and pride out of the lives of those beautiful creatures.
And this is a true bitch of mine.
Hanna
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Hey can I join in and gripe?
It isn't that I don't like positive thinking. It is just sometimes things are just not alright and you get tired of hearing that it is or will be alright. Sometimes you just want people to say...wow that really sucks and just give you a hug. You don't always want all the sunshine, smiles and pep talks.
Ok....let's see if this helps. Here are my gripes I have been keeping pretty much inside.
First of all it is a beautiful Sunday and I'm at work. To make up time from rads, which takes 3 hours out of every day of the week and $120.00 to get there and back. I'm here with the bi-polar co-worker from hell that won't even talk to me.
I'm starting to stress because I have two daughters getting married this year. One on July 5th and the other on Oct. 18. I also have a 7 year old son that is in baseball and they thought it would be great to start having 3 games a week this year??????
I'm tired of being tired. When do you get your energy back? I know I'm still in treatment, but I finished chemo 2 months ago. My ankles still hurt and I have numb toes on one foot. I still can't get to sleep at night without pain pills. I feel like a druggy. By the way I have 6 more rads to go. I'm worried the pain will not get better.
I lost 28 pounds during AC and gained almost all of it back during taxol. The thing is, I don't eat that much to gain????? I still feel sick when I eat. I can't drink margaritas, because it makes me have worse chemo sweats.
I can't stand anything touching my rad area. It hurts. It goes up on the side of my neck...there is no hiding it. Anyone else get treatment up that high?
I'm so sick of wearing my wig, but won't be caught out dead in public with this gray-black yuck on top of my head. I going to color it when I get the nerve. I got some of that non-permanent color. I'm 44 years old and have a 7 year old son...I just can't be gray in my mind.
Someone here said it is hard to be with friends, because it seems like the small talk is so trivial. I feel the same way. This beast really changes the way you look at the world. It is hard to listen to the little gripes of non-cancer people...lol non-cancer people. Like this young girl that works in the office, who comes up and complains about her beautiful full head of curly long hair all the time. Another one complains about her hubby not helping her at home and she only works 3 days a week...I'm working my butt off full time and going through this. I know that I too once had trivial gripes before cancer...but it is hard to listen to all the little stuff now. I don't want to seem like this mean chemo bitch always saying things like at least you have hair. At least you have the energy to do that. At least your not me...hmmmmm Didn't even know I felt some of this.
Testing the waters with this ... I think I do feel better.
Debbie
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HannaB: I always feel bad for the horses, too. I'm gonna google high-heeled crocs. I am definitely interested!
DebKay: Sorry you're at work today. I'm supposed to be doing some work from home today, but instead I've spent too much time on here, so I'll end up staying up half the night to finish while everybody else gets to sleep.
I agree, it is so hard to be around noncancer people and their petty problems. I find myself repeating over and over in my head "please stfu..please stfu," when they start in. One of my favorite all-time lines on this board was said by Shirlann right after I joined and I've repeated it often. "People who don't have cancer are worthless."
Re your radiation...do you keep some pure aloe in the refrigerator? It is very cool and soothing on the burns.
Here's a huge THAT SUCKS!!!! for you! welcome.
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Debbie, you have every reason to gripe, moan, groan, bitch or whatever you need to do. YOU CAN EVEN YELL ON HERE AND IT'S QUIETLY DONE. NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW. NOT EVEN YOUR SEVEN YEAR OLD!
And, we love to have gripey (don't think that's a word) people join us. It would REALLY SUCK if everybody was always nice, happy, energetic, etc. Don't you know misery loves company!? And the best part is after you read all the grips and laugh your arse off you feel better. Well, some make you cry but that's what we here for...for a shoulder to lean on.
So, yes, going though all the treatments and working full time and having a little seven year old with a pratially graying bald head, tired, icky-stomach-feeling mom SUCKS! My kids were grown. I marvel how young mom's get through this. Even though it sucks I take my hat off to you!
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Hanna, it's almost evening here..almost five. I'm EDT. So, I'll be there in about one hour. I hope your kitchen table is clean so we can sit.
Shirley
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I'm glad I wasn't there when that poor horse had to be put down.
I could watch the jockey being euthanized with no problem. Shirley
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Vitreous detachment, sounds gross huh, and there are four of us with it weird. Now what. Thanks though I totally forgot the name of it.
Chemosabi, I don't know if I can watch what happened to Eight Belles, I'll cry my head off oh how sad.
Deb, I hate those sad days aren't they awful, hope it gets better.
Hanna, I've had so many good dreams lately as well, I often wake up and wish my real life was as good as my dream life.
And Clark shoes are great I got some really cute ballet flat looking ones last year and they're still in style, thank God. But so comfy.
The most comfortable shoes I've ever worn are Dunhills it feels like walking on air, you literally bounce in them. If I can ever find another pair I will sell my Native Painting for a pair. I owned a pair and a friend that volunteered at the womens shelter I worked at loved them so much after hearing it from her everyday I gave them to her, I'm a sucker. And her feet are biggger than mine. BIG Sucker! I just found onionews.com its really funny going back now. Know I missed someone sorry. But everyone have a good day. And drcrisc, I hope your trots end soon don't forget the desitin. Gooday all.
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OK...here is my bitch for the day....crying in church. Today was the day the blessed the highschool seniors. They had the kids come forward with their parents and the pastor blessed each of them, and then blessed the parents. All I could do is sob like an idiot. My girls graduate in 3 and 4 years and all I could think is "will I be there?"
I hate cancer
Deb C
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I also hate it when I somehow hit enter twice and get a double post....sorry....
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Deb ... I hate cancer with you. I hate not having any control over this f'ing disease. I hate that we have to somehow make "peace" with it so we don't go crazy.
I love you ... crying along with you.
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Yoo Hoo! Shirley! Up and at em! Everyone else too..!
It is officially Loosey Goosey Hour! Sidle on up to my patio and enjoy a glass of cold Sauvignon Blanc and some french onion cheese, garlic herb cheese, some good ol pimento and cheese dip and whole wheat crackers (no trans fat and lo-cal but good!).
We need to do something to get this jackass neighbor of ours to quit mowing his lawn at the wrong times. This neighbor BTW is the same guy who is the father of the teenage girl who lays out under the street lamp at 1:30 AM in the middle of the night with her night shirt up minus underwear and with her ahem...legs in the giving birth position but she is most definitely not giving birth ---- YET! I swear, I need to move. This is the weirdest place to live ever. I got a parking warning violation in my own freakin driveway. Yes. Why? Because although the tires were parked on the blacktop, about 3 inches of the trunk was "extending into the sidewalk portion of the driveway apron" and the neighborhood hooligans needed that space to continue with their obscene chalk drawings across the driveway and onto the next sidewalk!!! And my 3 inches of vehicular trunk was - I expect - impeding their hooliganism and graffitism!!
Don't get me wrong. I like kids. Just not the ones here. The ones under 13 are hooligans and the ones over 13 are obscenely overly hormonal!!
So, where should I move? Suggestions anyone?
Oh, I also have a nice Merlot and a crisp chilled Pinot Grigio with some strawberries and melon. The grill is going and I have to get the fajitas rolling soon....
hanna
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DebC, you will be there. Just keep on talking. It's the ones who can't bitch about it who have problems. Stupid moron bc is not going to get you.
I cry in church too.0 -
Heck, I cry everywhere now, too - in traffic, at church, in the gym, while reading or watching the news - every damn where. It isn't just you or hormones. But I'm learning to be a "glass half-full" kind of gal: I'm planning on buying stock in Kleenex, lol...
My bitch(es) today are my @&!^%# wisdom teeth! They started growing really late (age 23 or so) then did nothing for five years. Then they hurt again for a few weeks, then stopped for 13 years. Since yesterday, they've been on the move again, feeling like they are about to rip through the side of my jaw. I have four doc appointments this month, now I have to schedule time to see the dentist, too?!? So sick of being sick, I tell you, but I want these slow-growing, possibly impacted molars out of my mouth and in a jar somewhere...
Oh, and I have no dental insurance so I know the extractions will cost damn near an arm and a leg. GRRRRR!!!
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Wow! I've got some catching up to do. And, I'm looking forward to doing it. I'll bitch more later. I just read Lauren's thread to start and just wanted to say:
Lauren, I feel your pain. Your post is practically exactly....why I started this thread. Except for the kid part, I'll replace your son with my roommate.....I feel EXACTLY the way you do about your hair. I may get bitched at for this but I gotta tell you, although it is better now, I still HATE my hair. It's just now starting to get tolerable for me and the only reason that is is cuz my little sis bought me all these cute little baby clips to old it back and make it look kinda fun even thought it's short and beyond the definition of curly. That and tons of gel.
Lauren, I now exactly how you feel. Some girls take it better than others. Some take it a lot better. For me, being bald SUCKED! I mean at least when your puking and feeling like s*it normally, at least you still look like yourself!!
I'm moving to Dallas and my sister is all excited saying "we'll go here and we'll go there!!!!" and I'm thinking to myself.....'i'm not going anywhere.'
Hugs girl.
Traci
ps My roommate just reminded me yesterday that the day before the Kentucky Derby was when I started my chemo. Last year.
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pss I'm going back to page 50 to read everybody elses bitches!!
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Hanna: Move into my guest room and bring your booze & martini glass with you.
Deb: Too much heartache with this disease. You've earned the right to cry when and where you damn well please.
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Thanks so much Traci -- I could use that hug tonight. I am sort of weepy for no particular reason. My relationship w/ my dbf is nice I suppose (he is hanging in there despite the fact that I am chubby, bald and not much fun) but it is nowhere near where/what I wished for a year ago when we were starry-eyed and new. My butt hurts from hemorroids or some such nastiness from the alternating constipation/acid indigistestion/diarrhea from chemo. My bald head still gives me the heebie-jeebies. And I feel guilty for being a bad mom and letting my son watch endless cartoons while I check this board, or hide under the covers.
All this and it's not even a post-tx weekend -- I'm supposed to be feeling better today.
Lauren
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Hi you guys -
Like Traci, I need to catch up, Big Time. Like Hanna, I think I'll go pour a glass of wine first.
Like Deb, I cry in church. I did this morning.
Another thing I'm crying about now and again - my bitch puppy has been born. I've been waiting for her for over two and a half years. Yes, since way before my diagnosis. From a specific breeder, with a specific pedigree with a specific lineage that I have hopes will be a perfect match someday with my own owner-handled AKC CH. boy (in my lap right now). But who am I to make a minimum 13 year comittment? Will I be alive in three years? I'm a grade 3, triple neg. BRCA-1 positive with a PET scan on Friday - and I think I am going to be able to train and have this little girl ready to show against National competition in October? But look at that face and tell me I can tell her breeder to let her go to someone else who has been waiting, too. Let someone else watch her grow into her potential. Love her up and let her be a little princess.
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Lisa- you scoop up that little darling, let her lick your face, sniff her sweet puppy fur. I'm in puppy love from HERE! Puppies are good for the soul.
Deb C
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Lisa...you keep that puppy and hold her close to your heart...it will give you hope and a reason to get up in the morning. You WILL be here. She just might give you the will to be here. Keep her and love her...its healing.
Hey Deb...love ya and sending you a hug.
My only bitch is that its Sunday and back to work tomorrow! No time to post much lately...between work and lots of outdoor fun I have very little computer time.
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Hanna, move to Wilmington, NC and I'll come, too!
Lisa, I love your baby!!! I know you'll take good care of her and she will be ready to go in October!
I get teary at the drop of a hat, too. I have no energy these days and after a busy day, I bought groceries. I carried part of them inside and then sat and cried because I was too tired to get the rest. I chilled for a little while and then went out and brought the rest inside. What a dork I am! It does make me mad that I can't do the things I used to do and I'm practically disabled. Chemo jacked me up! Cancer reeks!
Miss S
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oh crap.....I just read Otters...that sucks worse..............
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ok, i know this is way beyond minor but here is a bitch as i sit here watching tv surfing these boards....
my bitch: commercials we do not need - maxi pads and summers eve were bad enough but now we're going to have to endure his and her k-y jelly commercials that supposedly make some magic feeling when used together? WTF. I am so going to puke. Is this really necessary?
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Hi ya'll...
I've been out of town for a few days, and I just can't get caught up with all these sucky posts... all I can say is a BIG THAT SUCKS to all!!!
My gripe for today is that my dh is acting like a jerk, and I don't know what I did wrong... I just said that I would try to help him call and complain, because he ordered some parts for his car that he 's HOT RODDING, and they sent the parts all dented the FIRST time, and now they sent the wrong thing this time, and he is so mad... when he gets mad, there is NO talking to him!!!
Well, I'm going to bed... I'm so tired from the long ride home...Harley
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thanks for the hugs.
And for everyone: that just sucks the big one!
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Lisa, the baby is adorable! I could just squeeze her (gently of course).
Sorry for everyone who's having a sad day. Sometimes I can get sad for no reason..just tear up...then it goes away. And it ain't PMS cuz I'm way past that.
My sucky moan is for two of my friends. One is having her liver biopsy tomorrow. No, she doesn't have cancer but is on Methotrexate which can cause problems. Her rheumy is having it done to make sure everything's okay.
My other friend..terrible. About nine months ago her boyfriend (about two days prior she agreed to marry him) died right in front of her. She's my age, 62, and he was about 67. Anyway, long story short, they were in Indiana for his class and family reunion. She was talking to him, turned around, and he was gone...massive heart attack. He had been an athlete and very tall..basketball player in college. A couple of weeks ago she and her new man friend were on boat which must have a cabin. He belongs to some kind of boating club. Anyway, in the middle of the night there was a banging on the door. One of the boater's told them to come...this man who was only 54 told his wife he didn't feel well and was going on the deck and throw up over the rail. After throwing up he fell. When my friend and her friend got to him they gave him CPR for 30 mins until the rescue got there. He was gone. My friend told me this while crying...Deja Vu...my heart goes out to her. She had finally found the love and then see this happen. That's what I call IT SUCKS!
Shirley
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{{{{Harley}}}}, take care and ignore you dh. Men can be so immature!
Shirley
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Oh, Shirley, that really does suck. I'm sad for your poor friend
Marsha
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My bitch is that i'm packing for my move and I didn't get past 1/2 of page 52. I've got a bit to bitch 'bout but, i wanted to read y'alls first.
Dottie, your post made me lol...but now, I can't remember why! (I didn't write anything down!)
Linda.....I wish I had a baby....
(((debc)))) ((((pearl)))) ((((dani))))
Girls, I don't know what I do w/out you guys (all, just not the hugs above, that's just as far as I got in the posts...)
I'm gonna catch up asap.
It's weird seeing my bedroom full of boxes. Remember Surreals post? I feel the same way. I am no where near where I thought I would be.
Hugs everbody,
Traci
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