Chemo in Sept 08
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Chemobrain has kickedin! Wokemy son up early, drove 45minutes to neurologist, and was told hos appointment is TOMORROW!!!! I had it written down for today! he was mad, but now teases me! I cannot believe I did that. He tells me not to make Thanksgiving dinner on Wed! I just want to feel normal again!
D
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Hi Girls,
Just got back from my penultimate FAC, it went well, wbc was just about O.K. 3.98, we managed to find a different vein which worked well, i also asked that I have a lot more sayline? (fluid) to help flush and dilute the Adrimycine, which I got, my oncol also diluted my Adrimycine too, so I hope the whole pain in the arm will be a lot less and my veins will hold out for my last treatment next week.
I will be starting my tamoxafine next week a few days after chemo, will then stop it while I am having my radiation and start again when I am finished. My oncol also suggested I have an injection of something to thin my blood while on a 13 hours flight to the UK, as after chemo you are at a slightly higher risk of blood clots. My DH volunteered to give me the injection in the UK for the return trip. Neither of us are good with needles, so he is being really brave, as tells me not to worry, "he won't faint"!!!
I am feeling a little tired and groggy, so I am going to watch a movie, hard life hey!
Springtime, keep the heating turned up if it is cold over there. I will send you some of our warm sunshine vibes to keep you going.
Take care everyone, Singapore Chris
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Bettys Girl, YIKES woman! hang in there! Glad you are feeling better. I hope you have a good Thanksgiving day!
Jane and Juli!!! YAY YAY YAY for being DONE with AC!!! The worse is behind you!!!!
The only day that was more happy for me, than being done with AC was being done with chemo!!! It is a real mile marker. That AC can kick a butt, I tell you!!!
Chris, do they celebrate Thanksgiving in Singapore!????
Spring...
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bettysgirl.........same thing happened to me with my white counts on my second tx. I was SOOO sick I thought I was gonna die! Ended up in the ER.....with a white count of 40,000.
Had the shot the last time (3rd treatment) and it didn't do that. My oncologist was afraid not to give me the shot......because he was afraid my white cells would drop too low and this is the time of year to catch so many things!
Hope ya feel better soon......
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girls i come to you tonght emotionally spent and worn out. Another day of fluids, roids and meds for thrush, the pain that has emerge from my heel spur is awful (of course it had NOTHING do to with taxotere...yeah right just conincidence.) the onco wasn't there either day just calling in. I told the nurse today he was going to have to give me a compelling reason to continue with this insanity since they can't come up with a good explanation as to why this happened to me. I told her this was not living. I have been unfunctional since friday night. Pain and emotionally i am at rock bottom. I want to be able to live life not exsist in pain, suffering and in the road for the next 6 months only to start all over again when i could suck it up, live my life and shoot the dice.
Anyway emotionally i need to check out for a while again. I appreciate you girls. Appreciate your good attitudes. I KNOW you will make it.
Love and HUGS
Lisa (bettysgirl)
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I have it every other week starting 12/7 X4 bringing me to January 19. Then comes rads. I can't find a word to describe how I'm feeling today after A/C #4. I'm sure there is one in the dictionary, but I just don't know what it is. Tired is too mild. Shitty doesn't quite sum it up. Any suggestions?
Juli - I just can't get over how cute you look. I can't get anything to look that good on my head except my wig which is only bearable for a few hours at a time.
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Evening everyone,
Genia I wish for you a speedy removal of that awful port and and a reinsertion of a new one if the doctor says you need it exchanged....You deserve it ...
I'm feeling a lot less down today thank goodness:) I'm finished wth my AC therapy-- YEAH!- I hope to get my original Medicare back plus my supplement and on to Taxol.
I have never had doctors as awful, insensitive or as rude as the docs I've had on the Medicare PPO Advantage. I have plans for that PPO plan and that ONC...God willing the creek don't rise. :lolSpringtime, I am diabetic so maybe that's why I've had painful numb fingertips since my second treatment. My old Onc says it will only get worse. My fingernails are also 3/4 bluish-purple; no alternative medication has relieved me of this yet.:(
I have fun with my Bravo guilty pleasures though half the time my mind wanders so much I can't remember much of the show...which makes it great for me because I can watch the episodes more than once. Anyway I love watching those Bravo housewives/moms spend money... vicarious living at its best.
love you all,
I am haivng trouble with my right hand...I have to talk to my PMD about this pain in my fingertips...I can't tolerate this pain if it attacks my toes and feet...I live in fear of Diabetic foot complications.
mina
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Bar62:
So sorry you are dealing with insensitve, rude drs., etc. There is no excuse for that. If a person isn't compassionate, they shouldn't be in the oncology profession. I hope you speak up about them once you get rid of them. I thought I'd get the neuropathy with the TC because I am also diabetic and the decadron did crazy things to my sugar but so far, so good.
Betty's Girl: So sorry you're feeling so low. I had thrush with all my TC's and I'm fighting it now. I hope you have some pain meds. to help you deal with it.
Peeps
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Hi Girls,
Bettysgirl (lisa)
Sorry you are feeling so low, tell me about the pain in your heel spur?
Pain in your hands and feet IS a side effect of taxotere, but it is difficult to know what to do about it. I remember when my feet hurt really bad during taxotere, but it went away within a week. At the time I thought "if it is going to be like this all the time, I won't be able to cope", but the next day it went away and hasn't come back since. I pray that your pain will dissaprear as fast as mind did! 
Have you talked to anyone about how low you feel, sharing your feelings will make you feel better. It must be especially difficult at this time of year, when everyone is planning for Thanks giving and Christmas, It seems we are just watching it all happen this year. Remember, it WILL pass, I have got through 9 months, and can't belive it ever happened, just a distant memory and I still have one round to go next week. It's O.K. to cry and feel really sad, but ask for help too. Take care and post when you are up to it, we will be thinking of you and wishing you well.Jane M, I had my FAC #4 yesterday to, and am thinking of the word to describe how we are feeling, I tend to work in percentages. I was thinking of about 40%, groggy, subdued, distant fuzzy. I don't think one word will do it.
Bar62 (mima) try not to worry about your hands and feet, I know that being a diabetic could mean extra complications, but a lot of us have had trouble with it, so you might get away without complications. I would just ask the oncol what his plan is if he expects it to get worse, forewarned is forearmed. Knowing there is something you can do about it will help you feel in control.
Springtime, any Americans here will celebreate thanks giving, but no one else does, expect if you are good freinds with some Americans. We don't get a day off or anything.
I am off to the clinic for a booster and will meet up with a few chemo friends and hear their stories.
Remember girls, when you are not feeling bad, to look around and enjoy the good things in life, like the birds singing, (maybe they are too cold over there, not sure) or the colours of the leaves or bare trees! Let's appreciate our families and all their good qualities and say well done to ourselves for raising such great kids!
If you are all too busy with Thanks Giving to post tomorrow, have a fantastic time!
Singapore Chris
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Oh Lisa!
I am so sorry! Hang in there girl!!! You need to see the ONC. Cripes! This makes me crazy. They should be able to HELP you. Any time I said Boo, they were all over like, well, we can change this or try that. Why didn't you say something? etc. I mean, it is no cake walk. But it sounds like you are really suffering! I will pray that Lisa gets a break, Lord!
Bar!!! YOU BE DONE with AC!!! Wooooooo!!!!! You go Girl! That AC is a Butt-kicker. You are over the hump now!!!!
Jane - "spent"???? YOU BE DONE WITH AC GIRL!! This is a HUGE deal. I am telling you, you get through these last AC symptoms and if you're on Taxol next, don't worry, for 95% it is much easier. I really felt like "me" again once on Taxol. I feel even BETTER now, off everything!!! But, you'll see. You sort of get your life back to some degree...
Genia, sounds like you are doing better on the NeuBLASTa. he he. I agree - too many people with colds and "ick" to let the whites go down...
Chris, YES -- life is a gift, there is always something. I think you are reminding us to keep our eyes open for little blessings. They can be everywhere. Just have to peel back all this BC "fog" sometimes to see them...
Spring...
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julie50
Jane M
I am soooo nervous about tomorrow. They say Taxol is easier, but boy do some have it tough. I figure since I did well with AC, I am doomed with Taxol.....every week for 10 wks. Ugh!!! I am so mad at my onc's office. The staff sucks. There are so many staff, they give you a list of names when you start.....calll this one for schedule, this one for meds, this one for bills, and a triage nurse for sickness.......I HATE THIS.....all you get is voice mail for all of them and they never call back promptly. If you miss their call and have to call back, voice mail again !!!! I called Mon due to a slight fever (only 100) and it took till this afternoon to get a call back....the nurse had the nerve to tell me I should have read my paperwork and not called unless it was 101. I explained I had new med with chemo tomorrow and wanted to be sure, she was just plain rude !!!! If I had a choice I would move.....the Dr is good, but the staff YUCK!!!!! All right now I've done the bitch and moan too..... Just nerves over tomorrow I'm sure, Happy Turkey Day to all. We need to all remember the things we are thankful for.
Trude
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Hi Girls
Trude, you need to tell your dr that his staff rude and mention them all and tell him what upsets you, he will probably be glad to know, so that he can put it right, I would even asked him how he will deal with them, more training, coaching, personal skills, courses, etc. We are the poor patients here and there is no need to put up with anyones elses problems. If we can get through the treatment in a polite way the least they can do is be pleasant and sympathetic. You were right to call if you were worried and they should know that!
Try to stay calm for tommorw it will be fine, make sure you send yourself some positive messgages when you are laying in bed tonight. If my mind starts to go crazy I just breath deeply and repeat "Strong and healthy" until I am asleep, forcing any worry out of my mind.
Your are strong and can do this! Keep us posted. Best wishes Singapore Chris
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Trude,
You will be okay. They will start is slowly, and watch you. They do this on the first one to make sure everything is okay. I bet you will find this Taxol easier. Tell us what you think! There are body aches later in the week, but to me, this was not as bad as butt-kicking, nausea causing, white blood cell dropping, AC. ugh. That stuff is just nasty, but powerful.
That nurse needs her ears boxed! how RUDE!!! Here you have cancer, and a fever, with chemo tomorrow, and SHE HAS AN ATTITUDE??? ugh. It may be a good idea to give somebody some feedback, as Chris mentions. <<I am thinking of a five letter word that begins with B and ends with CH. Sorry!!!>>
Spring...
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Jane_M - Thanks for the compliment. I wish I was comfortable enough to not wear anything on my head in public! Sometimes I feel like I am the only cancer patient in this city of over 110,000 people. Are the rest of them wearing wigs? Because I never see anyone in a scarf like me.
I am scared to death of 12 weekly Taxols. Will I be able to taste anything for 12 weeks?
Does anyone else feel as bloated as I do after AC?
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Trude...I will be thinking about you today! Hang in there g/f!
Chris.....thanks so much for being the cheerleader of the bunch. I admire your strength and courage so much. You are a wonderfully beautiful lady!!!
Juli.....I feel the same exact way. You hear about all the cancer victims (hate that word) but yet I see none where I live either!!! Just on the day I go to the cancer center and see people there. And yes I get bloated too........I hate that feeling so much!!! Like you are one good burp or fart from feeling JUST fine!!! lol
Spring.....you always make me laugh!!! WHAT a sense of humor you have girl......would love to go shopping with you......lolol Last time I heard someone needed their ears boxed.......was from my mom.....that was her favorite expression!!! lol
I would HAVE to have an attitude with a nurse that treated me like that. Before I was diagnosed with cancer.......I wouldn't have. But my patience has worn thin lately. I have very little with stupid.....idiotic.......people!!!!
I go for round 4 tx today........sure hope it gets easier each time.......got a feeling it doesn't.......but I will try to trick my body into thinkin that!
hugs and love to you all......if I am MIA....you will know why
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Girls,
Thanks so much for the encouragements!!! I took an ativan last night and slept good with out freaking out. My DH was so sweet and snuggle up and told me he would take the day off work and kick some ass for me at the office. I told him I would be ok.....I will so as you all suggested and talk to the onc. She seems really nice. Thanks for all the happy thoughts. We all have our days, each one is different, it's good to have a place to vent and get encouragement....Thanks to all .....Happy Thanksgiving
Trude
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Genia and Trude,
Well, about that nurse who was rude to Trude (here I am rhyming!) "boxed ears" was not the first thing that came to my mind, I sensored myself. I wanted to say B**CH SLAP. So there, I said it!
I totally agree with lack of patience and a mother bear type persona. Who had time for this crap anymore? Unless I am having a really down, bad, weepy day (and I don't have too many of those, but we all get them sometimes), WATCH OUT
Trude your husband sounds WONDERFUL!!! = Blessing = Thanksgiving thanks for him!
Julie - I bet you will have less reaction since they are breaking up your dose in to 12 vs 4 big ones. Hang in there! I didn't feel bloated after AC, just relieved it was over.
Chris is wonderful!!! I agree Genia!!!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!
Spring...
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Good Luck Genia and Trude... Kick those SE's in the butt, instead of vice-versa!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING HUGS AND WISHES TO ALL!
Juli
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I'm home from the toxic dump station!!!
The last two times........when the nurse put the benedryl in my IV.......she might as well took a hammer and knocked me out with it. My WHOLE body went limp.....and it hadn't done that before. Weird feeling.....I know that much. Almost to the point of panicking!!! It didn't do that with the first two treatments......but it sure did these last two!!! So needless to say.....my eyes feel like they are crossing right now......and I need to stop typing and go lay down.......but NOOOO.....Genia is like the energizer bunny.......she just keeps goin and goin til she crashes!!! lolol
Trude.......my Dr. told me I could take Ativan as needed. I was taking Zofran for the nausea......but he said the ativan would work even better for it........and that it would help me sleep off the side effects. So I'm tryin that route this time.
I have to go get my NeuBLASTA shot tomorrow morning at the hospital. Because the Drs office will be closed tomorrow and Friday. I asked if I could wait until Friday morning.....but they said no. So HAPPY DAWG GONE THANKSGIVING TO MEEEE!!!!!
Hugs to all....... and if I am not on here anymore for a few days.......I hope you all have a very safe, healthy and happy Thanksgiving. And as Chris said.......we all have SOMEthing to be thankful for!
Genia
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Genia - Here's hoping you do sleep through all the nasty SE's.
I posted this on the "Laughter is the best Medicine" thread, so sorry for any who have read it before...
I played a little joke on my 5 onc nurses today...
Right before I went in for a Neupogen shot, I drank a cherry Icee. My bright red tongue gave me an idea... Last month I had a bad case of thrush, so as I encountered each nurse, I said (with a very concerned look on my face), "I have a very bad case of Red Thrush" and then stuck out my tongue. Each once gasped until I busted out laughing. They thought it was hysterical too and relieved that I didn't really have an issue.
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Neulasta shot today for me, too. I didn't forget my Claritin this time, so I hope it won't be as bad as the last.
I'm usually very, very upbeat and positive, but the last two days...not so. I guess I'm in a funk and I don't know why. I don't know how people do this for 8-10 years. It was nice, though, that my onc nurse called and left a message for me to call her when I got home. I called her back and she said she had forgotten to ask me if I had any nausea or diarrhea and we discussed my bowel issues for a few minutes, she asked if I was ok. She said I didn't seem myself when I was there this morning. It is nice that she has time to notice.
I'm going to go to our church's Thanksgiving Eve Praise service tonight, so hopefully it will lift me back up.
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Genia,
I don't have to do the Neulasta anymore !!!!!!! I agree, the Benedryl really kicked my butt, I feel like my eyes are crossed too....but so far no bad effects from the Taxol. Hopefully we will both be better tomorrow and We'll see in the next couple of days. Time for a cat nap now.
Trude
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Hi girls,
Day 10 of fourth treatment, and I am feeling much more normal. Tx 4 has definitely been easier than last time - Springtime (or maybe it was someone else) said that would be the case - you were right!!
My appt. with radiation dr. is next Monday.Here are (((((((((hugs)))))))) for those who are feeling puny! Hope things are better soon.
Happy Thanksgiving!!
Susan
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Genia - Cracked me up about the Toxic Dump Station! Benedryl got me "high" - it was the only "drunk" feeling I've had in months, ha.
Julie - Miss Red Thrush tongue!!! You are a riot!
Jane - no matter how hard I try, i get down somtetimes too. Typically I need to sleep more and then feel better. I bet you will bounce back. If not, get some drugs!!! (I ended up on Lexipro b/c I was sick of bursting into tears all the time, I was like, enough of this already). It helps!
Susan, I am GLAD Tx4 IS EASIER for you too! For me, was a breeze compared to AC. I sound like a broken record!! Hey, let us know what RADS is like. I may have to do that next too... (After surgery).
I have some good news. I got a report from my MRI a week ago. It said, the "area" was "significantly less confluent, suggesting a partial thereputic response". I asked my father-in-law was "less confluent" meant, medically, (he's a physician, retired) and he said, "It means it's breaking up, like holes are in it". So YAY YAY YAY. This is me, who was told I may be "non-reponsive" to chemo. Like a kick in the stomach! Nothing like being told the chemo you just did may not have been effective.
SO I AM VERY THANKFUL TO BE "LESS CONFLUENT" THIS THANKSGIVING!
I am glad. I saw this like dent/crease in my boob, but nobody but my husband and me thought it was significant. They were like, maybe it's from your BRA. I am like, right. my whole boob is like caving in and it's from a BRA? 
Whatever!!!Happy Thanksgiving to all! Springtime...
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Hi Girls,
Fantastic news Springtime! To be "less confluent" how wonderful, may your boob continue to cave in, (but not all the way!)
.Juli50, it is a horrible feeling, not knowing what is coming, we have all had it, before new chemo drugs, before surgery etc, but you will get through it, and will probably sail through it too. I also get bloated on AC for a few days at the beginning. It shows UP on the scales to!!!
Trude, so glad you have a man who is willing to kick ass for you, what more could you ask for!
Genia and Springtime, thanks so much for your kind words, I am so glad I can help in any small way, as it's hard for us all on some days, and I really appreciate the encouragement I get from you girls. This site has been a lifesaver for me. I am lucky enough to have a lot of support all around me, and I can't bare the thought of any of you out there with less.
Happy Thanksgiving girls! Singapore Chris
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Spring - The sad thing is, I already take 3 anti-depressants...Pamelor, Lamictal and Lexapro. They have been working great for over 2 years. It took a long time to come up with the right cocktail for me. I had a problem being addicted to narcotic pain meds a while ago, so I have been scared to take the Ativan to sleep, but the onc told me if I only took it at night it would be ok. I've been taking it for the last 2 nights and I wonder if that is what is making me weepy. Hopefully, it will pass soon. I have so much to be thankful for. And I had such a positive attitude in the beginning. I want that attitude back (and so does everybody else around me).
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Been "roiding" since 4 this morning!!! Goin strong....gotta love those steroids! NOTTTTT
Just wanted to wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving.......hugsssssss
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Happy Thanksgiving everyone,
Springtime, YEAH. You are less confluent; I love how that sounds and the meaning rocks! Thanks for the the AC is done cheer...I can't tell you how good it feels inside to be over that treatment.
Lisa, I can't imagine how you feel. I'm with you: doc, don't even tell me this problem isn't from the Chemo
Singapore, I have to try and keep in mind that we all suffer these SE's...thanks for the encouragement. My fingers are crossed...I hope the pain and numbness will disappear over time.
Peeps, thanks so much, I really am so glad to be here...I have plans for this doctor. I will file a grievance with Medicare when I am finished.
The first rule in my Medicare handbook is to:
Be treated with dignity and respect at all times.
I told the ONC Friday that I was thinking of changing out off my BAD PPO.He then said to me, "your insurance is not that bad." I'm like huh. He told ME my insurance was bad.
Methinks he is coming to his senses and realizes he messed up big time.
He told me to come to his office next time I am sick...?...and not to call and have a meltdown on the phone with his staff assistant.I had no response to his request, but I was too sick to go in. I had a medication I wanted for N&V, and merely wanted him to approve it and call it in. I couldn't get with his staff for 3 days and 7+ phone calls; I had no energy to come to his office but I needed help
Yep, I'm going to change out of this a Medicare PPO ASAP:)
I called Y-ME; I can't remember the current name of this organization, and talked to their hotline, which is staffed totally by Breast Cancer survivors. I've used them twice to spare my friends; I really needed them. The response of the hotline survivor is just what I needed because I was starting to think I was going nutso. She gasped at some of the not-so-kind words from my doc.
Y-ME...the organization has been renamed...
# English-1-800-221-2141
# Spanish 1-800-986-9505
Jane, I hope you feel better soon
love to all,
This is the first Thanksgiving, since becoming a mom 21 years ago, I haven't cooked Thanksgiving dinner, but my brother is having us over. I love him and his wife so much. He's recovering from Prostate Cancer. My mom had and beat colon cancer 20+ years ago. My family must have the gene; we all get it in our late 50's-early 60's: My mom was 58, my brother 60, and I was 62. YIKES!
love again
mina
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I am also thankful for Singapore Chris and her wonderful words of support. Where would we be without you! A big hug to you Chris!
And I am thankful for everyone else who posts on our thread so I know I am not alone in my SE's and I appreciate all the information about the unknown. NO ONE else in my life can truly understand what I am going through except all my Sept 08 girlfriends! A big hug to you all!
Have a great day!l!
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Hi Jane, I feel teary and cry often since I started chemo. I had steroids for my Rheumatoid Arthritis, before my doc started me on Methotrexate, so I think the roids are making me weepy again. I also had 'roids when my asthma acted up during my pregnancy...talk about weepy back then. Maybe it's the same for you and will pass once we finish the chemicals.
Hi Juli...bar waves
take cafre Genia, I can't sleep much the first 24 hours after treatment either...WOW!
Thanks to all of you for the Claritin tip. I didn't forget to take it after I administered the last two Neupogen injections... thank goodness. I have NO pain--knock wood-- and not much lung congestion. My voice is raspy and scratchy but I can still be understood.
hugs,
mina
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