Chemo in Sept 08
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Well thank you for the Birthday wishes.
I got a card from Jane that says "Don't worry about turning another year older! I heard that birthdays are good for you!" I say........AMEN. Very happy to even see this birthday roll around......because according to my first DX......I would be dead by now. So the card hit the nail on the head in my book!
hugsssss and love to you sweet sisters
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Happy Birthday Genia!
Rads are SO MUCH EASIER (so far) than Chemo. I mean, you show up, change, get zapped, change back and leave. The whole thing in like 15 minutes, or less, and I'm not kidding.
It is freezing here. Honestly. I ordered a Land's End Long (knee length) all down "chalet" coat so I can keep up my daily walking.
I have to ask my Onc about the tamox prior to surgery, or AI, etc. I think she thought AI's are generally a bit more effective, so best to get on that. I dunno. I don't want to think about it yet. I'll ask her about it end of Jan at the appt.
One day at a time!
So glad some of you are honing in on being DONE with chemo...
Spring (Beverly)
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spring- I hope you are right. I went today to get my ct and some of the temporary markings. I go back next thursday for the set up and final markings then start the following monday on the rads. I am so hoping that it goes well and that i don't have a lot of trouble. It is COLD here too and the room where they did the marking was cold. Kind of bad to be sprawled out there uncovered and freezing...BRRR at least the CT room was warmer.
Have a great weekend ladies...
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Thanks Beverly......I had a good day. A little tired today.....but was able to eat good and felt pretty decent.
Hope you have a great weekend too Lisa
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so sorry for the brain frt genia...i forgot to type HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! And hope you have MANY more!!
HUGS
Lisa
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Where's everybody today? I know in the northeast, we're all a bunch of frozen popsicles. We had a 50th wedding anniversary brunch for my in-laws today. I actually made the effort and dressed up (kind of), wore my wig and put on make up for the occassion. I had to - they were taking photos. As soon as I got home, the wig came off. Hope you had a nice day yesterday, Genia.
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Thanks Jane.......I've been being lazy today. Sounds like you are feeling a bit better sweetie.
My sister is bringing my Birthday dinner here tomorrow.......and there will be 10 people here.......and the only thing I've done is sweep the kitchen floor.....lol. Bout killed my back to do just that........I need a maid!!! Hubby mopped it for me.....
Just don't have any energy......altho I do feel much better. Maybe stamina is the word I need to use......takes me forever to do just the little things.
Get off this chemo.....get my surgery over with.......then go on one MAJOR diet......and I'll be a new lady.....hopefully...lol
Hugsssss love you all
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Hi girls,
Genia, what surgery will you be having, do you know? Hope you have a great time at your birthday dinner.
Jane, good to hear that you are starting to feel better, even if it is a little at a time.
I have been out a lot this week during every day and and twice in the evenings, so today I feel really tired. I must remember to rest a little more.
Hope you all are full of energy, or at least have some. Take care. Singapore Chris
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I don't know yet Chris.....it depends on the size of my tumor right now. I think even if it is really small......I want both breast gone. I can't live my life in fear of it coming back in either breast.
Not much I can do if it comes back someplace else.....but I don't have to leave the breast tissue for it to hide in anymore.
Thanks......I'm sure we will have a wonderful time......we always do.
hugsssss and hope everyone has a good day today!
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Well no chemo for me today....I had to reschedule for Weds. We got some snow last night....but there's ice under the snow. Hubby went out and checked the roads and they haven't done anything to them yet. Two places I know we can't make it across.......and one is a hill beside the cancer center.
So JANE.....you are on your own today sweetie......I was lookin sooo forward to celebrating with you!!!
hugssssss and love to you all
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Genia, No worries, you will be done with this soon! How was the Bday dinner? I know what you mean about taking a long time to do little things. I felt that way in chemo. I feel better now. You will too! I also had bi-lat. I know what you mean. I had a freind who couldn't decide lumpectomy or Mx, but she had a "complete response" (she was tripple neg) and ended up having a lumpectomy and three week rads. She was so happy.
Jane! WOMAN!.... Let us know when you are DONE. What a celebration this will be!
I have rads treatments #4-#8 this week. Got a bit sunburned last week, but on we go....
Love you girls! Hope everyone is okay... it was a quiet weekend here!
Spring (Beverly)
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Jane-Good luck today! so excited for you! Time to celebrate!
Genia-Sorry you could not go today. It was probably for the best-don't want to have an accident!
Waiting...waiting .... for PET results. Probably won't know till I se my onc next week.
Hair question for those whose hair is growing back. I have peach fuzz right now, but the front is BARELY growing compared to the crown. This worries me that my hair won't grow back right! I know it is too early to panick, BUT.......
D
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Denise,
My hair is thicker and longer at the crown than in the front/bangs area or in the back or on sides near earys or where "side burns" are supposed to be!! I think this must just the the pattern?
It is SO GOOD to have some hair up there! I went to lunch with some girlfriends, and it was a late lunch. Near the end we were the only ones in the place. One asked for a hair update, and I popped my wig up a little (after looking around to ensure nobody was looking! and asking if they wanted to see!) ahd showed them my "crew cut hair style". They were SO EXCITED!!! It made me feel good.
I would be GOING NUTZ waiting for the scan results!!! Hang in there.
Spring (Beverly)
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Yes....two days longer is no biggie to me......just wanted this done TODAY.....lol.
My B-Day dinner was DELICIOUS......I ate like a pig and there's still leftovers for today that I thought I wouldn't be able to eat......woohoo......I can now!
Denise......soooo hoping NOTHING shows up with your scan and everything is just fine sweetie. I have peach fuzz too.......exactly like you described yours. It is VERY thin......but hey....it's hair so I'll take it. I was reading on another thread......some who took taxotere......which is what I took......have permanent hair loss. This one lady was trying to get a class action lawsuit because she said the drug company knew about it in 2001 and said nothing about it. Well......as much as I would hate to be bald for the rest of my life.........I would STILL have chosen the same treatment I had.........knowing I would never have a hair on my head. If it meant my life!!! There were a few on the thread that got very agitated at her because of her attitude on this.
I said nothing........don't like voicing opinions about things that are very debatable like that! Just not worth it.......and I get too angry sometimes.
Anyone want some left over home made lasagna for lunch? lol........that's what I'm havin.
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Home-made lasagna?!? I'm there! One of my favorites. I decided to go buy a scale today, so I can keep track of my weight. I have heard that Tamoxifen makes you hungry, so I want to be careful. I am trying to take dogs for walk everyday that I can (depending on weather). Gaining weight would just insult to injury at this point!
You are right, knowing I would be bald, but alive would be OK. I have been Ok with my loss of hair and it did not bother me as much as I thought it would. I go out with my scarfs on and I know people look at me, but who cares?! Sometimes I want to say, "Yes, I am bald and I havec ancer!" But most of the time I am Ok with it.
D
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One bridge crossed - chemo is over!!!! I still have to have the Neulasta shot on Wednesday and then next Wednesday I have an apt with the onc to talk about the next steps such as scheduling the radiation and discussing whether I have the ovaries removed or chemically ablated and what type of oral chemo I will take. But I am hoping that the worst is behind me.
When I got done with my treatment today my nurse (who I love to death) told me to come up front when I was ready because she wanted to make sure my Neulasta apt. was all set in the computer. When I got up front, they had a red carpet laid on the floor that said "congratulations" on the top to celebrate my "graduation".
I hate to admit this, and this forum is the only place I feel I can say it, but....as positive and upbeat as I am and have been...I just have this feeling in my "gut" or this little voice in the back of my head that says..."I'll be back." I really want to think this is over FOREVER, but right now I'm not feeling it. Maybe as more time passes, the feeling will go away. I hope so.
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Jane,
I think we all feel that way. The fear of the unknown is awful! I keep teling myself that my PET was fine. But in the back of my mind, all kinds of worst case scenarios are playing! Being young and being dx meand more time for reoccurence!
What they did for you was AWESOME! They must really love you!
D
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Jane - Congrats!!! YAY! WOOHOOO!
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Morning my friends,
Thanks for all your Taxol administration info. I received my prep sheet from my Onc Saturday; I had confused the timing of the Decadron. I take 20mgm po at 11:30PM and 20 mgm po the morning of chemo, and she will give me Decadron 20 IV. I'm may be online for a while bugging everyone; 11 mgm wires me up and makes me feel nu-tso high for 12 hours post treatment. Lordy:) .
Back to Neublasta. She wants me to take it and will have to have it pre-approved. CVS's pharmacist complained to me about the cost of Neublasta (It costs $3000.00 per injection)... as if I didn't know, before she told me she would order it. I told her I have help with the $ 330.00 co-pay. My Oncologist prefers one shot to 5 shots over 5 days so she is pulling for me to get Neulasta. Here's hoping she can convince the drug company to pay for the more expensive drug...I have my doubts. Of course I will take whatever they buy for me and use my Healthwell grant to cover the co-pay.
My fingers crossed for my next small fight Neulasta vs Neupogen.
For all my friends here who have helped me through the crazies of my chemo...I had one more bump in my road last week. It seems my Medicare PPO didn't let me go as I asked. Medicare Part D plans allow changes to be made from Nov 15-Dec 31 every year. December 3, 2008, I made a change to my Part D, so that I could return to my Original Medicare. Those changes should have removed me instantly from the Medicare PPO Advantage Plan but it hadn't happened as of last week.
I thank God I took notes of this transaction and got confirmation numbers. Despite having chemo-brain, the notes I took of this transaction in my Cancer book gave the insurers proof that I did change my Medicare PPO Advantage insurance back to my original Medicare plus my AARP supplemental, on 12/3/08 to start 1/1 09.
I couldn't believe this craziness was happening. I heard myself asking, "God, do you not want me to get better?" I did get reassurances Thursday from AARP that they would process my application quickly. They received my application 12/3/08, but had not processed it as of last Thursday. My fingers are crossed that when I call Wednesday I will be OK. My doc verified my coverage via her office phone. I have the Medicare/ AARP supplement plan; now to get it listed at the Medicare offices when I call. Arrrrgh.
trudecox, thanks for the eye med, soothe XP...I'll try it later this month.
thepretties, I'll keep in mind the triple antibiotic for nose stuff.:)
My Onc told me she would stop Taxol immediately if I got numbness in my feet and toes which lasted longer than she thought it should.?
Sing, I'm glad to hear rads are not too miserable.
Priz, hope the Pet scan went well.
Sex what????:lol Maybe if I had a BF...probably not.
Spring... a medal sounds real good after last weeks fight with my insurance companies. There are so many insurance company representatives who can't help, I have to always keep notes about everything until this is all over.
Jane... glad your transfusion went well. Glad your chemo is finished...YEAH!
Genia, Happy Birthday, If I wished you a Happy Birthday before please forgive my chemo brain:)
hugs and more hugs to everyone here
mina
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Hi Girls,
Not long now Genia, you will be over the chemo VERY soon! hang in there.
Jane, congratulations, and lovely that the girls at the clinic are so kind.
Julie, we will all be still here when you graduate, it will be fantastic when we are all through!
Priz, your PET scan WILL be good, just wait and see.
I want to say girls, that the power of the mind is incredible, it can work for you and it can work AGAINST you. It is CRUCIAL that we send our subconcious the right messages. I want to tell you what I was thinking when I lived in Holland. I can't actually belive it myself, but it's true.
I said to myself, on several occasions.
"I have had such a great life (this is really true), I have lived all over the world, have a wonderful family, have always done exactly what I wanted and got exactly what I went after, THAT IF I DIED TOMORROW, I wouldn't regret anything and that I have done everything I wanted to do"
This message was tell my subconcious that it is alright to die now! Of course I didn't intend to say exactly that, but I was saying it. I also said to myself, "I will wait until I get to Singapore before I get ill", as the medical there is wonderful and I hated the system in Holland.
When I think about what happened, it is really no surprise, I was extremely stressed in Holland for over a year on a daily basis, and there was nothing I could do about it, the things that worried me were out of my control. Consequently I arrived in Singapore, (my paradise) and consequently discovered my cancer!
I am just so cross with myself for such awful self talk. I had no idea what harm I was doing. I truely belive that we need to be sending ourselves only positive message as our body is listening and acting on everything. Of course we will all have our bad days, but on average we have 65,000 thoughts a day, and most of them are the same every day. What have you been saying to yourself, is it good or is it bad?
Even if you don't feel positive all the time, don't give in to the little voice and let it rule you. Write out some great lines, about how wonderful you are, how healthy you are, how good looking you are etc and make sure those thoughts are in your head. Stick them around the house, or keep them in a little book and look at them every day until you believe them.
Jane, you have go to do this, there is no reason for you to be telling your self that you will be back here again. You must believe you won't! When you feel frightened and that little voice starts telling you bad things, tell it you have already been here and there is no need to go back! Or whatever story makes you feel in control and good.
Sorry about that girls, obvioulsy I needed to rant for a while. I hope I haven't offended anyone. I know we are all doing our best, but I truely belive it will make a difference.
My energy is back and there is no stopping me now. I HAVEN'T done all the things I wanted to do and one of them is to live to a ripe of age!
Take Care Everyone. Singapore Chris x
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Genia, FAX me some Lasagna!!! YUMO! Enjoy!!! One more for you girl! one more!!!
Jane, YOU BE DONE GIRL!!! Woooo Hoooo!!!! YOU DID IT!!!
Denise, I think there will be little whispers that are positive. I think they are coming for you. I know what you mean, and at the start of this, and during the chemo, I tried to block out the bad thoughts, but they tried to sneak up on me. BUT get this! The other day, I had like a "premonition thought" that I was several years out and in a different "place" and I was telling someone that they would be okay, that I had been there, and now I was years out, and I was okay. When you get a glimmer like that, and you will, HANG ONTO IT! Capitalize on it! Believe it! I too still have doubts, but I am trying to hang on to the positive whisper!
IT IS SNOWING HERE in Raleigh NC!! It is beauful! Everything is closed! Even the Cancer Center! No Rads for me today! Skin gets a break! It is like a winter wonderland. We hardly ever get a snow like this!
Love and peace.
Spring (Beverly)
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Jane- I am SOOO happy for you Congrats on being done!!!
Genia- you're up next...You will get there!!!
Denise- My hair is growing in the same way. I said i looked like my father with hair in the back and sides and a balding forehead....It is coming in but much slower. I guess it is the pattern.
My bad thoughts have been there for years and i have fought the littel demons for years...therefore i could relate to the line in Pretty Woman when Julia Roberts says "the bad things are easier to believe" Sometimes we are our own worst enemies and while we can have a "positive attitude" about this TX stuff we have to be able to control that little what if voice inside. I am fighting him too...I am praying for positve thoughts and WARMER weather for all!
HUGS
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Mina - My onc told me I would not need Nuepogen while on Taxol. So far 6 Taxols and no Neopogen. Hope he's right!
Chris & Spring - When I got a new cell phone a couple months ago, I set my ringtone to the song "Don't You Know You're Beautiful" by Kellie Pickler.
In the middle of my Taxol pain days...Go Aleve Go!
Hugs to all!
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Jane....since I am HORRIBLE about mailing cards.........here's something for you sweetie!!! So very proud of you.........woohoo!!!!!
Good to see everyone else too......thanks for all the encouraging words. They help soooo much.
Spring and Chris.....love you both and you get the pep leader award!!! lol
Mina.....keep hanging in there sweetie.......you're gonna make it!
Jules......glad your alleve is still working sweetie.......hugs
Lisa....I fight those same demons. How do we NOT??? Gonna really have to retrain my brain now......cause it wants to drift THERE more than think the positive things.
Love you girls......
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i don't know how you northern girls take it!! I am TIRED of the cold!!! Today seems to be colder than it has been with small flurries this am. I am sitting here wearing cuddle duds under my toasty pj's and still freezing!!! I can't imagine being where the weather is as cold as you girls have to deal with...i woudn't ever want o go out of the house!!!
The babies are in full swing tonight and DH has the shift right now...grandma had taken about all she could!!! WHEW!!!
Have a great evening ladies...
Lisa (bettysgirl)
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It's 10 PM and we just decided to run out of fuel oil - and it is 18 degrees outside. I happened to notice this because, for some reason, my temp has fallen to 96.8 and I can't seem to get warm. So now I am under my electric cover with a thermal blanket on top (plus my jammies and fleece robe). Dh is going to get some diesel for the furnace tomorrow to hold us over until payday when we can get more fuel oil delivered.
Chris - you always know the right thing to say and when to say it. Thank you.
Genia - I'll be thinking about you tomorrow. I have to have my Neulasta shot at 9 AM and then I'll never have to think about those nasty shots again.
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Hi Ladies,
I had some internet problems the last week but finally got them fixed.
Mina - I know this may not help much but Medicare and the ins co. do this all the time. You are not alone. Just keep on them and it will get fixed. I see at least 3 or 4 patients a week having problems with the change over. Just be on them every day.
Chris - thanks for the rant. I do get worried and bogged down by all this cancer stuff and I need to remind myself not to let it get to me. On a good note my Onc finally (after 6 weeks) called my surgeon so plans for surgery are in the works. Only 4 more Taxol tx's.
After all the problems I have had with my onc office.....I am thinking about doing some kind of a newsletter to help out chemo patients. Do interviews with those going thru chemo...what helped them and what was the hardest part. Kind of like our group here. Maybe I can help some due to the lack of help from our onc's. Any thoughts ???? It seems like a way to help others not have as hard a time getting info as I had.
Trude
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Juli - I got a new phone too....I had a hard time finding a song that was happy and positive.
I finally found, don't worry be happy --- by Bobby McFerrin....It makes me smile every time I hear it. We need to find simple things to make us smile. It's hard to stay postitive. Every one says, Oh, you are so strong and so upbeat....but it really isn't true.....in side I am struggling to just stay normal
Trude
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Genia-Thinking of you today and hope you are doing well. It's your LAST tx!!! Yeah!!!!
Jane-Hope you have warmed up a bit. That sux runningout of fuel! Especialy when it is sooooo cold out!
Trude- Love the song. That should be our new motto-Don't worry, Be happy!
D
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Woohoo.......doin the happy dance......I'm home and I am FINISHED with the nasty chemo!!!!
They gave me Benedryl pills this time instead of it being through my IV and I slept almost the whole time I was there.......wouldn't ya know it......last tx and I figure out what works.........lolol
I didn't feel weird or loopy this time.....nor did I tell ANYONE I was gonna give them a hug. lol
Thanks for all the encouragement ladies.......I truly don't know what I would have done without you all!!!
Lotsa hugsssssss and love
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