Stop Smoking Support Thread
Comments
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Janzin-
You are awesome. Nothing wrong with your memory/retention..... my day has been pretty mellow. I am a little down in the dumps. Could be the rain we've had for 4 days. Could be the ever present pressure of the expander. Could be the diagnosis of BC....I know if I sit around too much, I am not near as serene as when I get up and move and do.
What type of tournaments are you involved with? Both of my sons played travel soccer and I know the amount of work that goes into organizing some of their tournaments. It sounds like you are doing well and taking care of yourself.
Thank you so much for what you bring to this site. I look forward to "seeing" you each time you post. Thank you to the rest of you posters, too! I cannot remember everyones names and have to scroll back thru pages....tough being old.
I hope that each of you have a nice evening and a calm tomorrow.
MB
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Hi MB,
I have Jiu Jitsu and grappling tournaments. If you do not know what that is, it is ground fighting but no kicking or punching is allowed at my tournaments, only happens at the MMA fights. I have quite a few kids siging up already and with all the competition I am up against, I find my brain working non stop to keep my head above water. I wake up at 2:30am or 3:30am with my heart pounding and feeling that sick pit in my stomach like I just went on that Freefall ride at Magic Mountain. Good thing is I always think of solutions and today I thought of another solution for my kids program. I have always work my vendors for the adults but not the kids. So June tournament I will have find some fun venders for the kids to make it that much more fun for them and the parents too. As uncomfortable my competitors make me feel, I have to thank them because they help me think of new great ideas to make my tournaments that much better. Love having my own business and it feels good when you come up with ideas and see the growth from it.
I do know the BC dumps! Hard to tell where it is coming from but I for me, finding out that I had BC gave me a bit of depression and it was there even if I pushed it away at times. I am lucky though because I did not have to do Chemo and I am getting new boobs this Tuesday so I am on the home stretch and I am feeling that part of BC dumps leaving me more and more each day. I think you ladies made a huge difference and made this whole experience better for me. So I will try to lift you up as best as I can! One of my friends told me I was a survivor and I told him that I am not going to die, had stage one and the chances of me dying is slim. He then stated that I am a survivor because I am surviving the process which is huge, and he is right. No one understands the emotional traumas we going through BC, not to even mentioned the physical pain and uncomfortablenes we endure. I think it will make us a better person. I find candles help lift the mood of my room but whatever works for you, do it. Valiums are nice too, lol. Hope you feel better soon.
Peace!0 -
Goodness- you have a full plate. My husband has his own business ( I am involved with the billing/accounting end of it). I sure get nervous from time to time re. money/economy/etc, but do feel that things always end up working out ok, as long as I stay in the day.
You are cruising....I had my mast. Dec 9, 08, but just got exapnder put in 2 weeks ago, so have awhile to go. Like you, I did not have to do chemo ( and am so thankful, but would have, if recommended). I delayed expander because I thought I might need rads. Ended up not needing that either.
Thank you, again, for the support you give to us.
Peace be with you!
mb
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It is pretty nutty! I am back to back with tournaments so when I am working 10-12 hour days, I have to also find time to design new medals, flyers, posters and get the June info up on the web before the April is done. AHHHHHHHH!
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Janzin, you get new boobs on Tuesday!! That is awesome. The only thing I get on Tuesday is free tacos at the local Mexican restaurant....
Try not to overwork yourself. The depression is normal I think. I struggle with it sometimes too, which is odd for me because I am normally overly upbeat about things. But it seems to pass. I too am lucky not to have to had to go through chemo, just the rads. I pray daily for all of our butt-fondlers struggling with that.Have a great week ladies....smoke, don't smoke, it doesn't matter, we are trying!!
Ellie
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Hi FIfish, love tacos!!
My cell phone is stil not working, darn! Might have to buy a new one but I will never stick in my back pocket again, lol.0 -
Hello ladies, I hope your smoking program is going well. I have to go buy a new cell phone today. My roommate shook my phone last night and water was coming out. Told her it could be pee and she freaked out. Having a hard time sleeping with the stress and now one of my competitor promoter called me today and told me that he got laid off his day job so he is going to be promoting full time. He may put me out of business. Hopefully his fights are real successful and he will head that direction because I don't do fights. He is working with me and we help each other in a very light way but now only the strong will survive. I know if I lose confidence I will go under and if I don't work it I will have to sell out. I do want to smoke!!!!!! The next 2 tournaments will be crucial, have to be smart and work it and it may determine which way my biz will go.
Jancie hope your Chemo is doing better, no cigs in the tire tread, lol.
Fifish, good news on your Chemo, I am happy for you!
Malleme, hope your first Chemo is not to bad, let us know how you are doing.
Pantufas, did you smoke that pack, lol.
MB, hope the dumps have left you.
2newboobs, did you get the patch?
Nobleanna, how is the new meds?
Misty, Candie, SeaSandy you haven't given up yet right???
REKoz, $65 a carton, that is crazy and should help your quit smoking program.
Webbie, hang in there, your time is coming!
Nervousknitter, congrats on your quit smoking.
Have a great Monday!0 -
Hi all!!!
It looks like we are gaining numbers here which is great,in oneway but not so great in another way due to that dreaded addiction we have going on. I am starting Chantix again in the morning we will try for the #2nd time!!!!
Janzin- Your Crazy!!! But you certainly got me to smile!! I still am!!!!! Don't let work stress you out I know, I know easier said than done!! I owned my own business for 10 yrs and the day I closed it was the best day of my life!!! Not to discourage you just cause I so know where your coming from. I wanted to tell you that I met with my Pain Management Dr. and we talked about me quitting smoking cause yes we know it resticts vessels but what I did not know it damages nerves also. Well that explains alot of my nerve issues. Also he said when I quit I will most likely get a little more anxiety! So you should definatly try to get some anxiety meds.
REKoz&Jancie- I know how hard chemo is and it lasts longer the bad feeling each time but I swear it goes by quick and before you know it its a distant memory. It just does stink when you go through it. I am the one who did not have Drs. all over them about not quitting, its just to darn stressfull and I was not going to say I was even going to try when I knew I did not mean it. Also,REkoz, You did a nice job writing down on those boards where their is a dispute going on. I was one of those dumb ones who posted a question and got slammed for it. It made me feel terriable for days and I almost quit the boards. But glad I didn't now that I have met some wonderful people here and other boards. I was so upset reading those last night that I almost responded but their is no sense since we each believe what we believe. And I was so sad this winter seeing some of the best ones leave this earth, they were always the first to jump in and help!
flfish- you so make me laugh you have a way with words!!! And I am coming to Florida next year! And I expect a Mango Margaritta waiting!! LOL!!!
2badboob- I agree the price is out of control!! I just paid $6.57 for one pack and they said they are going up some more!!!
And to al that I missed Keep writing and tell us about yourselfs!! You have joined a great bunch of ladies here!!!!!
HUGS!!!!!!!..
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I haven't bought the patch yet...guess I'm putting it off until I see my family doc next week. I am trying to cut back some for starters, didn't do very well today!
It's like I want to quit, but at the same time I don't want to quit. Damn, this sucks!
Hope everyone had a good day!
<HUGS>tami
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Hi Ladies, can't sleep. Not sure why, maybe I am nervous about the surgery or just excited to get it over with, but I don't usually stay up this late. I am thinking about biz too though, lol.
Nobleanna, not sure what to think about biz, kinda like my pet project but stressful since I don't have a foundation with it. But I guess who does these days. I will probably be happier when I sell it or close as it does consume me sometimes in a bad way. It's a love hate relationship. I am on antidepressants, she just up my dose but I didn't take any pills today, thought i go clean before surgery. She finally gave a little bit of valiums, told her that if she didn't that I would find a Dr that did. I can respect her policies but I am tired of the stress because she is a bit conservative, so I will be getting a new Dr as she gave me only 20. I just want the valiums for the bad nights as I can handle the stress during the day!!!! My PS gave me 15 vics for the new boobs and removing the ovaries, guess it's not a bad surgery so that's good news.
2newboobs, your name hit me funny yesterday, I am a little slow sometimes. Will be thinking of you as I get my 2 new boobs today.I know what you mean about not wanting to but wanting to at the same time. We will feel so much better when we do though, we can do it!!!! Stick around, maybe you will find your mindset soon.
Well........not sure if I am going to get any sleep!
Janet0 -
Janzin- Good-luck today!!!! I am sure you will go through it just fine!!!! I wouldn't be able to sleep either!!! I did not realize your surgery was going to be so quick, for some reason April was stuck in my head. I think your right about changind Drs. I know its hard especially if your used to this one. I changed mine after being diagnoised, do to not being able to get in and having to go to ER. After the 2nd time I said enough is enough. It was her office staff not her which was kind of sad but we have to do whats right for us.
Check in with us when your able! We will be thinking of you!!!!
BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!
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Janzin,
Thinking of you today! Keep us posted on how your doing.
<HUGS>
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Thinking of you Janzin and wishing you 2 great boobs in the easiest way possible! You must hurry back hon, as you are the backbone of this thread! We are all pulling for ya!
xoEllen
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HI,
Everyone has sure been busy lately. Janzin Hugs and prays are coming you way.
I did have my Chemo last week. I had not felt good since.I retained fluid and everything else , the port hurt and the tissue expanders pretty much made it impossible to sleep.
Smoking ahh...I quit mar 9th using Chantix and my Valium of course getting Chemo I mentally had to stop. Now I will only admit to you wonderful ladies. I have the urge to smoke and over the past 2 days have actually puffed on a cig and tasted absolutely nothing, smelled nothing, it's the wieirded thing. I guess I am more addicted to holding the cig than actually smoking it. But garlic smells or anything else nausea. The Dr. did not do any fills last week and this week so far yesterday he said they need a blood count.. Today I had a Echogram hopefully that went fine.
Sleeping more than 4 hr is now a problem.
I noticed a lot are having problems with meds. My onocologist gave valium, tons of nausea meds and actually asked me if I needed anything because this was not the time to add pain to the program. The reconsruction surgeon gave me flerixil and said the choice was mine for valium speak up. The regular surgeon gave me Xanax. percocet, vicodin. All the Doctors said if your not driving great. I don't take any of the med on a daily basis by any means but I can't figure how how some Drs. are so tight with the pain med. Someone had suggested weeks back to take Chantix with valium I really think that what's working for me. This morning just the thought of wig shopping and no sleep I grabbed my husband s cig and puffed it. I had to start laughing when I actually said ok this is not working for me (smoking) he was like your smoking a cig and you took it right out of my hand now you complaining about that too.
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I was too ashamed to post! I did smoke that pack and thought oh well, I'll just quit again. Who and I trying to kid? I not only fell off the wagon but let it drive all over me. I was all geared up Tuesday to start my rads and all she did was talk. I may be smoking but I don't know what she was smoking. She seemed so spaced out and didn't tell me anything that I haven't learned here. She just skirted around all of my questions. I was really PO'd when I left. Let get this show on the road! They may have all the time in the world but I don't.
Saw my chemo doc today and he is really on the ball. I learned more from him than I have from anyone so far. My "lump" was 2.9 cm instead of 1 and I'm in stage 2. He actually showed me how many millions of cancer cells where in my SNB. One is too many for me. I have to go back and have more nodes removed to see if it has spread. I can't understand why she didn't take more than one. I feel as though I'm on a merry-go-round. When I go back to see the surgeon I'm going to tell her that I want the breast removed. Yes, it is a part of me but it is harboring the enemy and I wan't it gone and what ever the crap else she needs to take. I'm not taking rads from a space cadet but I will do the chemo. Rant over. Sorry!
Today, I told the doctor that I smoked a pack a day and I knew that I was risking lung cancer by having radiation. He didn't bat an eyelash or tell me I was wrong.
So I go Friday to get a prescription for Chantix. I hope it works! I passed out again today in the bathtub but managed to pull the plug before it all went black. Now that would have been a lovely "death" photo. LOL! At least I didn't smack the floor, bite through my upper lip and rearrange my teeth this time. I have to find out what's going on there.
Anyway, I think you are working way too hard but I sure do admire you. I admire all of you courageous women. You lift me up and you touch my heart. I am fortunate to have "met" every one of you. Seize the day and if you have to fondle a butt while doing it, then so be it.
Onward and upward Ladies!
Nancy
P.S. I hope your surgery went well. Be good to yourself and don't overdo it. I wish you could see my regular doc. Her motto is; "Better living through chemicals". Mine is; "Where there's dope, there's hope!"
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pantufus-
Forget the cigs for now don't worry about quitting until you really know what your dealing with. Didn't they do the Sentiel Node Biopsy? And did you mention that your passing out and I would ask for more testing to check the passing out.My blood pressure kept really going down like 69/38 and they are still trying to figure out what that was. I really feel it was my brain saying overload and just putting up a wall. Love your saying "where there's dope, there
s hope. It's about getting rid of the enemy within for now. One thing at a time. vent all you want you have a right to be mad angry....WE are always here....the women on the site have become my saving grace. if just to laugh at dead pictures or say prayers . I t doesn't matter to all of you, if I smoke or not I can alsways be honest. because only we understand the wacky addiction of smoking.
Thanks does not even begin to express my gratitude. OK so I gues I'm feeling positive today thank God.
Janzin- Hope all went well????
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Where is our Girl Janzin????
Hoping all is going well with you Lady.
Hello to the rest of us on line and hoping you all are having a nice, calm day.
MB
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I was soooooo buzzed yesterday. Coming out of surgery was painful so I kept complaining about the pain and they gave such a variety of pain meds in my IV, think I am still high off of yesterday. I did smoke and that made me really high, I didn't smoke much though. I went off of Chantix and any pills for matter before surgery but I can still feel chantix working today even though it's been a day and half without. My doctors here are so conservative with meds, trying a new one on tomorrow because through all this stuff, we really do need a Dr. Feel Good.
Thanks Nobleanna, 2newboobs, Malleme, Pantufas, MB, Nervouskintter and ReKoz for the support! Put a smile on my face. You ladies rock!! I am so happy that we all have found each other, the support, friendship and understanding is huge. You make this experience easier to deal with and are the bright spot of my day!
Malleme, sorry to hear that you are not sleeping, especially since sleep is so good for healing and stress. Tylenol PM works the best for me. I am surprised that you are doing Chemo so fast, thought they would give you more healing time first. When did you get your expanders? My Dr wanted to wait a month before starting Chemo but I lucked out and did not have to go there. Congrats on your smoking. 1 cig is awesome and a step in the right direction. I know the weirdness of smoking with Chantix, I think I like the hand motion and the feeling of it getting sucked into my lungs because the taste and buzz is gone.
Pantufas, don't be ashamed to post, whatever we go through is real and there are a lot of us on the same page, even the silent viewers. When they see our success, and we will, we will also give them hope that they can do it too. They have witness our struggles and our success and it will inspire!!! Posting you daily or weekly story is huge and gives all of us strength. If you can get away without having rads, go for it! I rather do Chemo than rads any day since the rads will be in your system for life. I am concerned about you passing out, you definitely need to check that on out. You have a lot on your plate so like the ladies have stated here, one thing at a time. Love your sayings, lol.
Well I have one surgery left to go, a new nipple. Ask my Dr if he is creating it out of my belly button. He told me he could take skin anywhere and I told him anything will work as long as it does not have hair, lol. Can you picture it......hacked up breasts with one hairy nipple.
Hang in there Jancie and Webbie!!
Good luck to you all, find peace wherever you can, even it is better living through chemicals!0 -
Janzin- So good to hear your doing well. You still got your sense of humor, thats good!!!!! I am with you on the nipple thing. I asked if they really stuck out straight like that you know what I mean like your very cold all the timex10. They laughed and told me they shrink to normal size. I was like thank-god cause their would be noway I would walk around with it like that. I am sure guys would like it! LOL!!!
I am so you know what! my mother who I do love dearly loves to out do me. Yup you guessed it she quit smoking its been 1 week today!!! I am very glad she quit cause she has smoked since she was 17 and needed to quit, but she just knew I was trying, and she goes and does it and says she has had no problems!!! Well we will see now that her husband is home and he smokes 2packs a day. I sound like a brat but she does stuff like this all the time!! We have talked about quitting for years and she was going to do it with me when we found out I had BC but no she didn't do it cause I was not. Now I feel awful about myself cause I am not doing it. Does that make sense.
But on a good note I only have 2 more Herceptin treatments to go and hopefully the pain will go with it!! Good riddens!!!! Also My daughters Horse JaneyLee is coming to Maine either Sun. or Mon. So excited to finally have her coming. Now I really need to quit cause I don't have any money for her board!! Poor thing!!! Just kidding but 6.50 a pack is a good reason to stop for sure and I need all the xtra cash I can get now!!!!!
Its good to see our little support group is growing and we are supporting one another with all these up and downs!!! One step in frount of the other and we shall get there!!!
HUGS!!!!
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Ladies,
I know this isn't the site for this, but please send prayers out for my girlfriend and her family...her 17 year old son, was just diagnosed, Tuesday, with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. He was admitted to the hospital this morning to begin chemo...my heart is breaking for them. I would do a million treatments if it would stop this disease from affecting anyone else.
MB
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God bless you and give you strengh in supporting your girlfriend, her family and precious son. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you. Remember the 23rd Psalm:
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul.
He leadeth me in the path of righteousness for His namesake.
And yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil for Thou art with me.
Thy rod and Thy staff they comfortest me.
Thou preparest a table for me in the presence of mine enemies.
Thou annointest my head with oil.
My cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Amen
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Thank you so much for reminding me of this particular scripture....I have asked God to wrap his arms around them tightly.
Thank you
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It's a beautiful day here in Denver and I hope you all are having a beautiful day too.
Nobleanna, that is too funny about the nipple. I am only one sided so we will see what happens as each will have a mind of their own. I am with you on the mother thing. My biological mom is pretty competitive with me, being Japanese she has her pride. I remember we were walking up this sand hill for a work out and she was determined to keep up with me or pass me but she did it with a cig in her mouth, people thought she was crazy. Kinda like running and smoking at the same time. She always tell me how strong she is with her smoking and she can quite any time and she does, but she always picks it back up again. I let it go as I know her pride is important to her. But I do know where you are coming from, it gets annoying sometimes.
MB, I am sending out positive thoughts to your girlfriend and family. He is so young to be going through that, I hope it will be okay. Pantufas, you are so sweet for the support. Good people here on this thread!
REKoz, I was thinking about you this morning. We were talking about being worried about quitting again because we remember what it was like the last time. And it hit me this morning, I am scared. I am scared to be without my little friends during a stressful time of work and I am also embarrass to still be smoking when I work my next event. Afraid that everyone will think I am an idiot to be smoking with cancer. Last time I turned into this bitch, was so irritated with everything. I remember being in a store and I accidently cut in front of this lady in line and she started giving me full altitude so I screamed at her, "You don't have to be a _unt about it." I never say things like that or yell in public and everyone stopped to look at me, it was pretty embarrassing, my evil twin came out. I don't think I will be like that this time around but I am still afraid to quit right now. I would feel better about it if I had some time off of work.
I feel like this whole process is some type of journey and each day unfolds a new awareness as I work towards letting go of this nasty habit, working out those kinks to find my mind set and determination to really quit. I know that we will all get there if we keep trying. Congrats on those who have quit and congrats on those who are still working it. Don't stop posting and don't give up because we can do it!!!0 -
Janzin,
I'm so glad that your surgery went well!
It's a beautiful day here also....absolutely loving it!
tami
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Hi Ladies,
Is anyone here on tamoxofin??? Can you take Chantix with tamoxifin??
I too, battle the beast. My doctors didn't bitch too much thru chemo but I know they weren't happy about it.
I would love to quit.
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I am on Tamoxifen. I took Chantix with it. My oncologist told me that the Chantix might actually help with some of the tamox side effects (liar)...heehee......The Chantix did not work for me. It gave me terrible headaches so I had to stop taking it. Good luck to you!!
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2newboobs, glad you are having a beautiful day! Surgery went well but I hate my new boobs. Having only one side done makes it uneven and the Dr told it would always be like this. Me being an artist, the differences are huge to me. So this morning I cried goodbye to my boobs as I use to love them and now I hate them.
Karen, good luck with the beast! All I know that everyone is different and maybe Chantix will work for you or maybe the patch or cold turkey might be the one for you. We are here for you, welcome to the Butt Fondlers!
Fifish, good hearing from you. Miss ya!
I found out today that the Dr has a data base in which they can go into and it will have all the meds that you have taken and how much. So don't cheat out there!!! But I did get a Dr Feel Good and finally got some valiums. I wouldn't ever take it for the fun of it, just when I need it. They are hard to come by!!!!0 -
Lol, I found some more of my dead pictures, we do then where ever we are, it's a tradition with us. This is my niece and myself while we were skiing a couple of years ago.
They are not very good but we do try, my niece looks like she is sleeping and me... you can't even see my face.
Hang in there ladies, between the rant and raves, we will get through this with some smiles! After seeing my new boobs, I really need to smile!0 -
Janzin- I am so sad to read that you hate your boob......did he augment the remaining one?
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Hello ladies! Well, my family has officially left the premises, and I now have my house back. Whew! Actually, it was not as bad as I thought. Although, I have drunk enough rum to kill a pirate over the last 2 weeks, and with that....smoked. Oh well, I will crawl in the dryer today and spin dry for a few days. Give my liver a break.
I am sorry Janzin that you don't like your new boob. I can't imagine. All that waiting and pain, and then not to be happy with it has to be devastating. I was lucky, I just had a lumpectomy and my surgeon was very nice to me. I am not really even lopsided, it just looks like one boob is "winking" at you....heehee.....Did the doc say it would changed as it heals? Maybe it just needs more time.
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