Stop Smoking Support Thread
Comments
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Nice to know that you are alive Nobleanna, missed you.
I hate this feeling right now, self pity. I just want to cry today, having a hard time trying to work. Funny how life goes pretty smooth and then BAM BAM BAM! I have so many of them lately that even a little bam feels like a huge BAM. Feel like I have a sad story in every aspect of my life. Sorry, just need to bitch and get it out of my system, will gather my strength and move on again but sometimes you need a cry day.
Thanks for being here, you ladies mean a lot to me.
Janet0 -
Ok Janet, let me get this straight....you are going through BC, struggling to keep your business going, trying to quit smoking, getting over a divorce, AND trying to lose weight? Believe me, you are NOT wallowing in self pity, you are just simply coping! I am sorry to say this, but your ex and his fiance' seem like perfect petty people for each other. That is not fair to lay that on you now, with all you are going through, especially when the divorce itself ended on a friendly note. People are so petty, it drives me NUTS. Hang in there. Try to surround yourself with more positive people, not ones like them that bring you down. You know you have got all of us here to lean on. I wish we all lived closer......we have ladies that drink margaritas, mango drinks, home made beer and wine drinkers....it would be one hell of a party!
Hang in there!
Ellie
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Thanks Ellie for the support. It's nice not to be alone in this. I have my friends and family but they really don't understand what I am going through. My roommates are coming home with drinks to help cheer me up. Yup... I am breaking my diet. Wish I had the mango drinks, they sound really yummy. I never drink in the day since my 20's so I will be out early. You are so right about surrounding myself with positive people, funny I never really talked to my ex or his fiancé so I am not the problem. I sold out my portion of the martial art school because I didn't want their drama in my life, but I also lost financial security. I always thought I could make things happen for myself but it has been a struggle with everything going on. Wish you ladies lived closer as I would really love to have margaritas, mango drinks, home made beer and wine with you all.
Well if I check in later, I hope I don't sound too drunk. Best wishes to all.0 -
I am really drunk after 3 galsses of wine and 2 shots, feels good to escape once in awhile. Wish you ladies were with me.
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I so wish I was there with you Janzin!! Hey, now you can say that you "drunk posted" at BCO!
I am a moderator at a stepmother forum board and believe me I have drunk posted on more than one occassion and most people wouldn't be able to understand a word I typed because I don't finish words, I leave out words, I run words together but my friends totally understand what I am trying to say. They will show their husbands some of my responses and their husbands have no clue as to what I just typed and so they will translate for them.
I was told to lay off alcohol during chemo so I am going to be "dry" for 4 months. It is a shame because of all of that homemade beer I brewed before I started chemo is now almost all gone thanks to my husband! My drink of preference to red wine but 3 glasses later and I am drunk.
My homemade beer is about 11% alcohol so one beer and I can't drive so I can't drink it unless I am in for the night.
Have another glass for me!!!!
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Janzin- I am with Jancie have another!!! I am sorry you were feeling so blue the other day. This journey of ours certainly has its ups and downs!!!! I am going out tonight to celebrate my friends B-Day she has also just been diagnoised with BC. We aer going to have a big benifit on March 21 for her. Hopefully raise alot of money for her. She is in the process of getting a divorce has 3 kids and usually works 3 jobs, never mind playing in a band! So she is going to need some help.
Jancie- Your horse is so beautiful, my daughter was instantly in love with the picts. I hope all is well for you. Hows the snaking of the ciggs going??? Have you got caught again????
flfish- You make me laugh!! I love your spirit!!! Mango margarita's sounds good to me!!
I so want to have fun tonight but I hate the next morning! Maybe I will write when I get home so I can join you all in Drunk Poster. I have been known to be a Drunk Dialer before, I hate that its so embarrassing the next day. No Phone for me tonight!!!!
Work is okay but what a week of you know what. The restraunts Hot Water Heater blew and dumped water everywhere. Lucky it stayed in the kitchen area due to drains in floor. Then he had no power in his house and I did not know it until a neighbor clled my husband to ask about when it was going to be back on. Only 4 houses on that road had no power and he had to be one. Lost major exotic fish!! had to clean up that mess!!! I told him he is not going away again. So I have been pretty much putting in tons of hours for nothing!!!! And busted my butt last night for everyone and worked a 8 hr shift which I am only suppose to work 2 hrs. Cause where we were closed it was packed. And not one person offered a thank-you or anything. Well we see how this is going! Just because I am a manager does not mean you can just use me. I would have at least said thank-you. I have a few who are not so happy I am back cause they could do pretty much what they wanted while I was not their. Too Bad!!! Its not like I am mean, I am actually to nice. I need to put my foot down more. Enough about that place!!!!!! I am moving forward!!!
Hope all of you are having a great day!! And I will be thinking of all of you on this Thread!!
Bridget
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Wow!
You know, when you start a thread like this, you often wonder where it will lead. It's like a dream come true to find that people cared enough about an issue you care about to keep it going long after you are gone. I haven't kept up with the thread, or my promise to quit, despite that 61% pounding I did. I don't know why and haven't given up, but it just hasn't been doable amidst all this other stuff.
But it does my heart good to see all of you winning, trying, preparing...keeping this thread going for all the "generations" to come who will need a boost in quitting, want to share with people who don't accuse and simply "get it" and who will see you through no matter how many times you stumble.
When I figure out where my wherewithall went, I'll dive back in--but I honestly do rest better knowing you all are in good hands--each other's.
Love,
Web
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Hi Ladies,
Yup, I was pretty toast the next day, in fact my stomach still hurts. I really tied one on and was quite the mess before passing out. I woke up and was horrified that I might of posted one more time before going to bed that I ran and checked the post and was happy that I didn't because who knows what kind of mess would of came out of unhappy drunk.
Jancie that's funny that you have drunk posted with slurred words. My grammar is pretty bad even without being drunk and when I re-read what I posted, I blame it on stress and my head is foggy with all that is going on. Don't know if I could go dry for 4 months, too much stress. But I am here if you need me anytime.
Nobleanna, sorry to hear about your friend, I feel for her. My ex and I separated a year and half ago and it still effects me. I couldn't imagine going through the beginnings of a divorce and BC at the same time, at least I had some time to process it otherwise I think I would of slit my wrist. My ex and I were friends but I came to the conclusion that he is too immature to be friends with and I want good people in my life so goodbye ex, his fiancé and their drama. You sound like a very good person and my brother once told me in business, sometimes people force you to be an _sshole, otherwise they step all over you. But when you think about it, you are not really an _sshole, they are!!
Webbie, glad to hear from you, you started a great thing here with this thread. I am with you on the quitting of cigs, haven't done it yet but haven't quit quitting either. I go for surgery in a couple of weeks, get my new boobs so with that down time I am going to try again. Just my stress has been really bad lately, I wake up in the middle of night and can't get back to sleep until later. Had really bad sleep for 3 days and finally got some last night. But with sleep and energy I am ready to tackle the world again. I do know that in time I will get past some of this crap and have less on my plate and I will quit smoking when the time is right. Just got to keep checking in so I don't lose sight of my goals.
Thanks all you ladies for being here, you give me strength and help keep my altitude positive. Wish you all a great Sunday!0 -
BAHAHA!! Drunk posting. Now there is something I have never done, although I do admit to drunk dialing (my ex boyfriends) when I was back in college....oh, the good old days......
I am glad to hear everyone is doing well. I just re-read my mail and got the reminder that I am on federal jury duty tomorrow
....do you think if I tell them I am flighty and moody from my tamoxofin that I could get out of it???? Maybe I will give the a shot. Speaking of shots, I am so glad to hear that Janzin had a night to relax. Well deserved. Have a great week ladies! I can't wait to read about what happens next!!
Ellie
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ok...I am not doing well in the no smoking department. I have smoked since thursday..what is wrong with me...the word cancer doesn't evne make me quit.....maybe I should get a script for chantix but the thought of taking another pill daily makes me want to vomit. I have a hard time some days remembering pills...I forget if I take them or not in a split second....I have one of those weekly things but I forget to fill it up...lol
Have a good night's sleep, girls....tomorrow is a new day
Hugs and prayers
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Hey, I'm back but only to socialize. I choose not to comment on my smoking because I hate it and realize that I just don't have that frame of mind that it takes to fight it. I truly thought that I'd be a non smoker once chemo started. That was after I said I would before chemo when I was diagnosed! It just hit me that I DO NOT have that fight in me right now. I am exhausted both mentally and physically and getting through this chemo is all the fight I have right now. I have cut down and make smoking at home more difficult by going out the kitchen door. I love that the house doesn't stink and I know that I'll get to that place when I don't stink someday.
And I wasn't going to comment on my smoking! LOL. Anyway, I've been very lethargic from the chemo and have no motivation whatsoever. Not depressed thank God. I think that the Effexor the Onc. gave me for hot flashes (it HAS helped- took awhile) maybe keeps me from sinking too low. That and I am just a natural born clown...I love to laugh and can find humor in the sickest of things! Including this bald head of mine.Janzin- you are too funny. I actually had my lifetime quota of alcohol in my early 40's so I no longer imbibe! And yes, I do wonder if that got this cancer started but don't obsess. Not much I can do about the past ya know? Reflecting back on my drunk dialing, I figure I would have been kicked off every chatboard on the internet had they been around then!! Good thing- there's always a silver lining right? I'd never have met you ladies who have come to mean alot to me. No doubt that your presence has been key to getting me through this nightmare. And I'll leave this for another time, but I do have much in common with you on the ex front!
Have a feel good day ladies. We are all trapped here in NY by the snow. I LOVE big storms but would have preferred this to have happened in Jan. I am sooooo ready for Spring!
xo Ellen
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I have cut down quit a bit on smoking with Chantix. Seldom do I smoke the whole cig now and have less cravings to go outside and smoke, down to about 4-6 a day. I know I should make a quit day as this is not how it suppose to work but like a lot of you, have a lot on my plate which soaks up my will power. Every night I get this sinking feeling in my stomach and my heart starts to race because I started thinking about business. Last night I was lucky and I redirected my thoughts so I was able to keep on sleeping, hate the split sleep nights. But today will be a great work day!!!
Fifish, hate that jury duty thing, did mine last year. Funny that when some people hear that I have BC they treat me like I have a broken arm because they have no idea what BC is like, but we all know that it is way more than that! I have one roommate and the only thing he can say to me is that things will get better. It is starting to drive me nuts. He reminds me of a doll with the cord that you yank on that has only a few sentence capability. I don't expect them to understand though as I wouldn't of either until I have gone through it myself. The jury people may not understand either but I bet if you explain to them they will let you off.
Candie, we have been there!!! Chantix is not too bad on me but it's different for everyone. But I do understand the feeling of being polluted with all these pills, and I haven't started on my preventive cancer pills yet. The patch is cheaper and the gum is pretty addicting. I think with everything that we are going through, it is a work in progress and hats off to the ladies who have succeeded. But we will get there too, we may just need to get our ducks in line first. I am sending you positive thoughts!
REKoz, glad for your comment on smoking! I know that there are probably a lot of ladies who view this post and are thinking about it but not ready for the next step. I don't blame them because it is hard enough to quit when life is going smooth. Our struggles and victories may help them out. I am totally with you on humor! The jokes I make on my Franken boobs sometimes surprise people, I had my Dr who took out the cancer cracking up. I remember a few days before surgery I was outside and it was cold. I look down and realized that this is the last time that I will have 2 working headlights, that when I get cold only one would turn on. Told my parents and they cracked up, but they understand my humor.
Nervousknitter, drop in a line. Miss your wit!
Thanks for the support ladies, you are awesome!!!0 -
You gals are cracking me up!! Oh remember it is ok to drunk post in this thread because I don't anyone of us will report one another to a moderator
And I doubt the moderators have the time to go through and read all of the threads!Working headlights - I spit coke all over my monitor with that comment.
Ok, I have to head upstairs instead of staying here with ya'll because it is my 8 year anniversary today and my hubby was gracious enough to let me off the hook to go to the cancer support group meeting tonight. BTW - there are two other members here on this board that are in our support group meeting. One I had met previously and we had dinner tonight and then Oso showed up! The meeting was a blast!
Tomorrow night we are going to some fancy smancy 5 star french restaurant for dinner, I get to dress up and DH has to wear suit and tie to get into the place!. I really do need to shave my legs since I haven't in over 2 weeks because I was sure the hair would fall off anyways and it hasn't and my hair is at least 1" long so I have been wearing black pantyhose to church so nobody could see all of my leg hair. I can't get away with that tomorrow night. Hopefully this will be the last time I have to shave my legs in awhile.
I will get back to all of ya'll tomorrow sometime. Got a really BUSY day planned since I have chemo again on Wed.
As far as my smoking - didn't smoke Sat or Sun but smoked 3 today. So I am still struggling with it and even though they taste like crap I still want to smoke but it is all mental and with all of the stress of chemo, etc. I am having a hard time. I am still pissed off that I broke down and smoked after day 16.
Love reading all of ya'lls responses - I love more than anything else the sense of humor that we all have during this shitty time in our lives.
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Ok, so my hubby got busy with his son watching TV until 9 pm which gives me time to try to get some more posting in here.
Janzin - congrats on not having to do chemo!!!! I need one of those daily pill box things but what do you do about when you have to take other pills every 4 to 6 hours or as needed? It can get quite confusing. They should also have them set for AM and PM.
I also had a first marriage/divorce like yours. I broke it off after 17 years and I think my ex was relieved - we so did not love each other and were together out of religious/family obligation more than anything. We actually got along so much better after the divorce that he was still doing oil changes in my vehicle. Then he got a GF that was jealous. By this time I had remarried very happily and we didn't have kids so there were no ties at all and she couldn't stand it if he talked to me. Needless to say, we haven't spoken to each other in 5 years now which is a shame.
And it is ok to have pity parties. I had one myself Thursday last week. This is such a roller coaster ride, I never know from one moment to the next if I am going to be up or down. You can imagine how confusing it is for my hubby.
FLFish - I am all for a party!!!! Tell me where and when and if at all possible I will be there!
Noble - I haven't got caught again but I am more careful. I won't go outside if my stepson or hubby is home! I didn't smoke Sat or Sun but had 3 today but not at home, I smoked when I drove my car to do errands. Glad your daughter like the pictures of my horse. I am one of these pageant moms so to speak. My horse has been featured in the local newspaper and also was featured on an infomercial. What the heck are you going to do when they are too young to ride? You put them in commercials and in the newspaper!
Web - that sounded like you were going away for awhile
You are NOT allowed to leave us, I won't allow it! And remember I am an alpha pushy female! I never did look up those websites you listed but I do think of that 61% and I still can't get there myself no matter how hard I try. I know it is best for me to quit but dammit - there is too much stress just dealing with chemo right now so I am not going to beat myself up over it.Flfish - tell them you have chemo fog and you can't remember a dang thing due to short term memory loss - I am sure that would work after all I wouldn't want anyone on my jury (if I had one) that had chemo brain.
Candi - I know the Chatrix is one more pill but there are no SE and it doesn't interfer with other medications. It comes in a 30 day packet. Each packet also has a sun and a moon as a reminder to take it morning and night so if it gets to nighttime and your sunshine pill is still there you will know you didn't take it. I have been on it for 30 days with no problems other than some pretty strange dreams.
Rekoz - I was just getting to you and my hubby is calling and since it is our wedding anniversary I can't just ignore him so I promise to get to you tomorrow.
Good night ladies!
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Jancie, nice to know that you are still working it. 2 days are excellent and 3 a day is awesome too. That's funny about your legs, lol. I went through hip surgery and after over a month of recovery I went for a pedicure with cave man toe nails that could climb a tree. It was pretty gross but someone had to do it. Wow, 17 years is a long time. Too bad that jealousy ruins friendships. I value all my friends and I am always sad to lose them. Congrats on your anniversary! Love to see a picture of you two all decked out. There isn't many places here in Denver for that.
I want to thank all of you for your support on my drunk posting, would of loved to party or hang with you all. It sure is a rollercoaster ride!! I just did an emotional shopping yesterday. Lately I have been lighting candles in my room making it all cozy and full of scent, it's nice and relaxing. I bought $100 worth of candles yesterday from one of my favorite places online, they are expensive but the scents are the best I have found. You could say I have enough candles to get me through BC. There is so much drama with my roommates, all of it self induced because of their immaturity. I need all the peace I can get right now so I am thinking about moving out. Even though renting my own apt will cost me more but hey, I just bought $100 worth of candles. I guess finding comfort during these times is worth the little extra you may spend. But then again I will be buying my own home within a year so why sign a contract that may cost me money if I break it. Hummmmmm.
Have a great smoke free/ cut down day!!!0 -
Hello Ladies,
You all have such good sense of humors!! I love coming here for a pick me up!!! I am not back on my Chantix and really need to get with the program!! Cause it was really starting to work! And if I am going to be buying a horse and boarding it I need all the cash I can!! And in Maine they are over $6.00 per pack. It makes me so mad that I spend that money on stupid butts!!!!!!
For all of you smoking while doing Chemo PLEASE!!!! Donot beat yourselves up. It is extremely stressful and the drugs they give you like Decadron will drive you to smoke. I smoked through everything including Rads, Stupid but I could not stop!! I think I was so pissed and it was the only thing at the momment I could control!! I don't know how else to explain it!!!! Is it better to quit YES!! But the stress of it is worse!!! I am stageIIIa ER+/PR+/ 5/28 nodes+ HER2+++ and I still could not quit!!! Sometimes I really think I am asking for a death wish! But I am not I am just really addicted, and the drugs I am on for the neuropthy make me want to smoke!! I feel like I am in a vicious circle!!! I understand believe me what each one of you are going through!!!!!
Hair on the legs once you shave you are homefree for quite awhile!!!
Snow oh yeah we got hit again this week! The kids are going to be going to school in July at this Rate!!!
Jancie- I am sending out my downpayment on my daughter's new horse today. I am so happy for her cause she has been through so much this past year, and anyone willing to muck stalls in a unheated barn through the winter is dedicated in my book!!!! I have yet to break the news to my Husband he just does not understand the Horse Bond that you can only get when you own your own. You can love a leaseed horse but you know it may sell or go back, you just never quite make that complete connection. And The prices for Morgans with any training were out of control, I am sad the economy is bad but it is in my favor to buy something that is trained and has the bloodlines to breed if we choose to. I need to quit smoking first cause then I can have the arguement that I quit and will save all kinds of money! And he wants me to quit so badly I know it makes him sad to see me still smoking. I will do it!!!!! I will quit!!!! I gotta now!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope everyone has a nice day the sun is shining here!!!!
Bridget
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OK then, I think I have been handed the proper motivation to give this GD butt fondling habit the big heeve ho yet again. Saw the PS today for my 2nd fill. I don't know where I write anything anymore so please disregard if I am repeating myself ad infinitum. I had a post op infection where there was a huge threat to whether the expanders could stay. Of course, there was many snide comments from my fired Plastic Surg. that it was smoking that caused it. Funny thing though, the home care nurse felt I was wayyy to filled in surgery for my boney chest to hold.But let me tell you, it was hell. Anyway, thankfully the expanders were saved and my new PS did a wonderful scar revision. He began filling 2 weeks ago with only 30 cc's and since all looks good, he gave me 60ccs today. My left (the cancer side) is higher and he mentioned that after chemo he may have to surgically lower it. I CANNOT be smoking if that is going to happen as if an infection were to happen again I would never forgive myself. So now ladies, I really need to get serious. My WBC are getting low and "the universe" is telling me that smoking and I MUST part ways.
As fellow addicts and a most humorous bunch at that, you will understand the sick realization that cancer is indeed more life threatening than not having boobs so what gives in this sicko mind of mine? Probably that the infection hell is still fresh and the possiblility that it could happen again is more immediate- or is it tangible? Whatever---argggg- I need to get control of cigs now instead of letting them control me. Oh, how I wish there was one friggin magic pill that would make all desire go away...oh, how I wish I could win the lottery too!
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Nobleanna, good to hear from you! I think Chantix is working for me too, though I am suppose to have quitted by now but the desire is way less. I used to have a goodnight cig and now I don't and it's no big deal. Had split sleep again and usually I get up and have one but skipped it last night. Mornings is still a problem. Did some quick math, at a pack a day that would be $2,160. a year on smokes, and that is at $6 a pack without tax. Wow, you don't think about it until you add it up. I no longer smoke a pack a day but still, it's expensive! But I do know that if I wasn't trying that I would be back up to my normal pack a day soon. I can see why it would effect buying your beautiful Morgan.
REKoz, Sorry to hear all the problems you had with your expander, scary stuff. You are on the right track though, finding your mindset. Next step is picking a quit day, I would choose a quiet day or week if possible. They say it takes about 21 days to break a habit but then they weren't talking about stress out medicated BC Butt Fondlers. I will try again when I go for my next surgery which should be in 2 weeks or so. Not sure what will happen but I think even making quit days helps as one day one of those quit days will stick. I know about that crazy feeling of smoking after getting BC. I am embarrass that I still smoke and that I am even paying to hurt myself more is a another crazy thought. My mom paid a lot to get her lung cancer and I will be paying way more at $6 a pack. We can do this!!!! I am sending you positive thoughts!!!!
Jancie and Candie, hope you two are doing well.
For those who have quit, drop in a line and let us know how you are doing. It's good to hear from those who have succeeded too! Gives us strength!
Best wishes!!
Janet0 -
I love you all!
I'm not "going" anywhere. I'm just not as active as I'd like to be. Stretched too thin I guess. But I am reading when I can and thinking of you all constantly! Just wanted you to know how proud I am of the way this thread turned out because of you, how thankful I am that you have all pulled together and kept it going, and how wonderful I think it will be as new people come in and find this wealth of friendship and support ready and waiting. You all rock and I'm lucky to be able to count you as friends.
-A happy and humble Web
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Am I destined for TE failure? I am a smoker and have not been able to quit. I have reduced my cigs from 30 to 10-14 a day for the last 2 months I healed up well and quickly from my mastectomy 12/09. Just had my TE put in on Monday. I am a nervous wreck
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MB- No, you are not destined to fail but there is a higher incidence among us smokers due to blood supply. Less due to smoking leads to slower healing. But not all smokers develop problems and sometimes the problems that do occur are not due to smoking. Higher risk is definite. Did your PS ask you about smoking? Most do.
Good Luck to you and try to limit if you can.
Ellen
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Thank you, Ellen.
Yes, the good Dr. said he doesn't like to reconstruct on smokers. I told him I had cut down, but had not stopped. I certainly wasn't going to lie about it. He said he would do the reconstruct. Unforunately I am the queen of rationalization and I had read that it is a problem when having skin grafting surgeries, not as much with TE. And BTW, I am proud of those of you with double tissue expanders- I just have one and it is making me bonkers, particularily when I think about it, which seems to be all the time.
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Hi MBScruggs, my PS told me the first couple of weeks is the most critical. If you have to smoke, really try to cut down on those 2 weeks. I smoked 2-4 a day and so far I am good, getting new boobs in a couple of weeks, may last fill is tomorrow. I was really scared because like Ellen said, the risks are higher. So cutting down even further may make you feel a little better. Try taking a couple of puffs and then put it out too. They say each pack of cigs gives you 20 or more hours of bad for healing so cutting down counts! Skin grafting also is a higher risk, didn't have to have that done.
By the way, cutting down from 30 a day to 10 -14 is great!
Good luck to you and we are here for you!!!
Janet0 -
Checking in but briefly tonight. I had chemo today - my 2nd round of A/C and so although I am not feeling bad - I am having major chemo brain. I am just not functioning properly and it drives me nuts!
Hard to keep up with my smoking versus non-smoking periods. I had one cigarette on Saturday, none on Sunday and 1/2 of one today and that is it! I should never have bought that 2nd pack but that is my dh's fault because he left to go out of town.
I am having a hard time right now because I am back on the freaking steriods that I hate so much. So if I can get through to Monday without smoking I will be back on track again. I am still mad at myself for screwing up smoke free day #17 and since then I have only gone 2 to 3 days at the most without smokes.
Luckily it is snowing here tonight and since I don't have any smokes, I am not about to go out and get some tomorrow - I tend to hibernate and try not to drive if it is snowing and I don't absolutely have to go out.
I still owe ReKoz a shout out from the other day when I posted - don't worry I will get to you and everyone else tomorrow! Got lots I want to say to Apple
because she cracks me up!Janzin - you are a jewel that keeps going and going and going - between you and ReKoz, Apple and others that I can't think of off the top of my head - this thread is going to stay alive for years to come - if anything because we are building wonderful relationships. I will have to go look at Webbie's instructions for posting pictures and see if I can do it that way - if not I will have to resort to getting my dh involved.
Ya'll have a good evening - I am on a new sleeping aid and I hope this one works because Ambien hasn't done the trick ever since I started chemo and I am tired of using up my valiums in order to sleep.
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MB- Just curious to know if you are doing chemo as well? Also thought I might mention that I had no option other than TE's as a smoker. No PS would do Trams or the like unless I hadn't smoked AT ALL for 6 months prior. Having been diagnosed from a routine mammo, I obviously was not in that category! And since I did both, I did not have enough body fat to reconstruct two. Funny because although I am not heavy, I see PLENTY of fat from my waist down!! Anyway, as Janzin said, cutting down is a good thing and I have done that so far. Though it has been pointed out to me that even the patch or nicotine remedies constrict blood vessels. In other words, if I am going to do this, it HAS to be cold turkey! Chantix made me feel ill when I was healthy. Now I feel ill from chemo so I just can't chance feeling any worse. I just HATE how these friggin little cancer sticks own me! I MUST prevail! I bought a "natural" aide (pills) to curb cravings. I am bringing them to my Onc. appt. next week to make sure it will be OK to take them.
Jancie- Don't worry about me honey..I know you are "talking" to me too when you post. I surely don't want you to use up all your valiums over such unnecessary stress!
My best wishes to all for a stress free, smoke-less (double entendre there) day!
Ellen
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Hi Ellen,
Nope. No chemo for me. I am taking tamoxifen. I agree- I am so angry that I am letting these smokes rule my life. I gave up drinking 8 years ago and I think that was easier than getting my mind off of cigarettes. Crazy, huh?
Thank you for all of the kind words and encouragement. Best to you,
Mary Beth
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MB- You are SO fortunate to have avoided chemo for so many reasons. Not the least of which will be a HUGE plus for your TE process. Yes, you'll have to deal with the smoking conflict but at least you won't have your immune system fighting against you as well!
We are two peas in a pod. I gave up drinking 5 years ago and you would think that experience would be a great aide in giving up the butts right? I'm sure it will be but as we already well know, we have to be at that "no option" point in our minds. Why this hasn't done it for me pisses me off beyond words. So, I will continue to let that anger build until it becomes the steam I need to quit entirely! I admit it, I'm a sicko. It's so incredibly difficult to give up something you enjoy and harder still to do it going thru this. Again, I WILL prevail!
Ellen
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Jancie, hope this chemo round goes better for you. I understand trying to remember names and posts, can get confusing. I will always be here for a long time even after I quit, just to let everyone know that yes it was a struggle for me but I did it so you can do it too. Also it will help me to help others as quitting is hard but staying quit is hard too. I had 8 years in and now I am kinda angry at myself for starting it up again. This time around it is way more of a struggle for me as the last time I quit on the first try, now I think I am coming up to my 5th or 6th try.
MB, a lot of people have said quitting smoking is harder. It's that quiet fix that we can do all day and every day. They say when you quit that sometimes you think about it even more, crazy huh, like it isn't tough enough as it is. But keep posting and you will get there. There is so much to life without cigs. I think this week I will start posting incentives again as my quit day will be coming up again, as soon as I find out my surgery date. Good news on the Chemo, I lucked out too. Being 46 and not having gone through menopause I really lucked out. But will have to get rid of my ovaries, no heartache there.
REKoz, I believe you are getting closer!!!! One of my friends told me when you finally get fed up, you do it. He was so right on that for me as I remember my first time that I quit, I was really really really fed up with it. Back then I smoke 2-3 packs a day and would huff and puff walking to classes at college, thinking why they had to be so far apart when in truth they weren't, lol. Guess the same goes for drinking too, congrats on your 5 years. Thanks for being here!!!
Webbie, good to know that you are still here and read the posts. Just letting you know that you are thought of and I am thankful that you started this post.
Fifish, hope you are doing well and got out of your jury duty. Miss ya!!!.
Candie hope your quit smoking is doing well. They say one day at a time but for us it can be one hour at a time. Hang in there!
Nobleanna, I am not sure if you are like me but I always forget the morning pills. But it does seem to help so I hope you get back on your program. I was thinking about you as you are ready for spring which is one of me favorite seasons. But lately I have been hot and that makes sleeping worse so I am glad for the snow coming our way this Friday. I hate the summers here in Denver because it is a dry heat that is too hot for me. Hope to hear from you, miss you.
Nervousknitter, it has been weeks. I hope that you have stayed smoked free, you should be coming up to a month I think. Know you are busy but when you get the time, let us know how you are doing. We miss your posts and your humor!!
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Hello ladies! Boy, do I miss this blog. Can you believe that I was complaining over having so much company coming to town and then I get called in to federal jury duty? God works in funny ways. I am on a trial that is suppose to take 2-3 weeks, so I won't be on line much. Also, all of my dh's family will NOT have me to tend to them....heehee....But, I am glad to see you are all here and still trying to quit. Unfortunately, my quitting is put off until April or so. I hope those of you going through chemo (ugh) are hanging tough.
Take care,
Ellie
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ok, I failed again. I started smoking again...why oh why cant I just keep up the not smoking. I hate myself for it!!
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