Stop Smoking Support Thread
Comments
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Okay, I am hung over! I found our some great news last night and had to celebrate. I just got one of the Gracie's to sponsor my last tournament of the year in Oct. This is huge for me and will be one of the largest tournaments here in Denver! My competitor calls me a couple of weeks ago to tell me that he is doing a tournament around my last tournament and he is working with ADCC which is huge name out there in the BJJ world. So I thought to myself the only way I could keep up is to fight back is with another big name and I did it.
I really need to quit smoking! I am around healthy athletes all the time and they give me hell about my smoking too. So I will have my quit date sometime in April, I am going to do it!!!!! We just really need to work on our mind set and keep thinking about our incentives and we will get there.
FIfish, posting your problems with insurance here is the right place, we smoke over things like that. So go ahead and rant and rave because we are here for you.
Take care ladies and have a cut down or smoke free day!0 -
Sorry to hear about the insurance goof up......I agree: we shouldn't have to deal with that. I have had a few glitches since my diagnosis. Have found if I get my ducks in a row (paper with contact names, dates, what was said/done) AND am spiritually fit, then I proceed to call and try to straighten things out and stuff usually does work out. I have to be focused, though, and that doesn't happen overnight!
Flfish- keep us posted and I sure hope you are getting some positive answers and guidance.
I am thinking of starting chantix once I get my fills complete and am in "holding pattern" Can any of you give my a quick rundown on what to expect and how it works, how you take it. I am back to 18 cigs a day and am furious with myself. Was on wellbutrin to get me through the mx- that did reduce my cravings. I got myself off of it because I thought I shoiuld be able to handle things on my own. That is what I get for thinking!
Hope all reading this are doing ok today.
MB
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mbscruggs--thanks for the vote of confidence. Chantix works in an odd way. You continue to smoke on the drug and it reduces your cravings for nicotine by working on that area of the brain. For me, it did seem to reduce the cravings, but it also gave me terrible head aches, so I had to go off. Don't let that stop you though, so many people have done really well with it. Best of luck to you!
On a good note, we did hear about our COBRA insurance and I was pleasantly surprised to find out that it will be the same insurance, it will never lapse, and it will only cost us about $400 a month. That is MUCH better than I thought it would be, so for that I am thankful. We can pull that off. My dh has been off hitting the pavement hard and getting some great leads, so that is good too. I am blessed to be married to such a hard working guy. He is good at what he does, and people know that, so we are just praying that he gets picked up quickly. I am more than willing to go back to work too, but he would like if I stayed home at least until after I get my one year all clear. So, it is in God's hands now, but I am feeling much more confident. Thanks for letting me rant!!
Ellie
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Yippee Ellie!!! So glad to hear about the insurance. I, too, was thinking it would be twice that amount. I am so happy it is doable for you and your family. Things really do have a way of working out, if we do the next right thing. So happy for you. Now- on with the healing.
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Ellie-
SO HAPPY to hear you are not going to be suffering the insurance nightmare through all this! PRAISE BE SISTAH FRIEND!!! It's so nice when we can read about good things happening on this board.
Well, today I feel good and am even going into work. Haven't ventured out since chemo last Friday. And of course, it's back tomorrow to spend another weekend and then some in chemo hell. LAST one of this cycle though. ONE more cycle of 3 to go after my week off. You should be hearing more from me during that week anyway. Smokes? Well, more than the three from the weekend but still wayyyy less then in my "normal" past. Surgery scheduled for May 27th so I still have a little more time to work on it.
Have a great day ladies.
xoEllen
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Great news Fifish! That must be a huge load of your mind. I am paying $246 a month for mine through Humana but now my claims are all jacked up. Going to have a fun day of going through all that today.
REKoz, happy you are feeling better today. Not much longer to go with your chemo. Cutting down is huge, I believe in you!!!!
MB, Chantix works great for me. Doesn't stop the mental aspect you if you really don't want to quit, well then you will smoke right through it. But if you do really want to quit, well the urges are less and the cigs are not as satisfying, I found myself not smoking a whole cig. I have to say that the triggers were less intense too. I had a couple of days of upset stomach in the beginning but that was it. You take it for a week while still smoking on it, cutting down, and then make a quit day and quit!! It's a 3 month program, Costco has the best price in it. I might taker it longer to make sure that I stay quit as that is the hard part too.
Crazy weather here in Denver, snow is over 5", and still snowing hard, well I should smoke less today as it is cold. My new quit day will be April 25th, should be finished up with most of me work and I should be able to take a few days off and concentrate on not smoking. TV time works best for me, I don't think about smoking as much while watching TV.
Good to know that you are still here Misty.
Hope you are not working too hard Nobleanna!
Pantufas, hope you are doing well, sounds like you have cut way down and with a little humor! We all need it.
Nervousknitter, so proud of you. We all hope to be there soon with you on over 8 weeks smoke free. Can't believe how fast time goes because it seems like yesterday you were posting your first week.
Haven't heard from quite a few of you out there, hope you are doing okay and haven't given up! This may be a huge beast but we can do it and will feel much better. Miss you!!!0 -
Hi Kids.
just got back from my first fill of 50 ccs- i had 100 cc put in at placement. I felt good until she got to 40 ccs- at that point it felt like an elephant had his front right foot on my boob. She put the last 10 in and sent me on my way, after I asked a gazillion questions. It has been 1.5 hours now and am doing ok. I did bring in pictures of boobs I liked- some he said we could not do. All this time I thought I was 36 b. The good doctor said, no- more like an a.....: I have to giggle. Things really are good.
I hope things are good with you guys. Jan- I am like you. If I am watching the boob tube, then I do not think about smoking ( I, too go outside). Oh- and a big congrats to your new sponsorship. I hope that relieves some of the stress.
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Hello Ladies, time for my morning post. My heart is starting to beat faster every day as I wind down to my tournament date on April 18th. And I have been smoking more. I wish I had more will power that I could diet, quit smoking, work hard and have the power not to stress but it seems I can only handle one thing at a time. The antidepressants are helping a lot, got a new Dr and he told me that since I have so much stress that I wasn't taking enough so they up my dose. It does seems to help, I don't feel the underlining depression anymore and my panic attacks are less severe, so now time to work on things to better my life without help from pills. Want to thank you ladies for being here because it would be so easy to give up!!!!! And I really do want to quit smoking.
Thanks MB, on my sponsor, that does help relieve some stress, just hope everything goes well with that business partnership. I know the feeling of the elephant, I was taking 60cc at a time but my skin was already stretched out from my previous implants. I was over the muscle before so I had to get use to being under the muscle. Weird, if I work the right arm pretty strong, I feel my right boob making a stage right, never use to do that before, lol. How much cc's are you going up to?
Chemo ladies, hope your ride is a short and not to bad of a ride, will keep sending positive thoughts your way.
Jancie, haven't heard from you in ages, you haven't given up right? Let us know that you are okay.
Well 5 more days before prices goes up on cigs here, think about all the money we are going to save!!!!!!
Have a great Friday!
Janet0 -
Hi Janet-
I don't know how many ccs. The surgeon put a 275 mentor expander in. From reading the sites I was getting disappointed that mine sounded so small. In reality, I am small chested, so he put the size that fits my body. I have 150 in now, and it seems fuller than my good boob. Surgeon knows I want to get a little bigger. He said that they will be pretty and sexy and will look good in clothes. I do trust him, his eyes, and his skill. Can't wait to get smart and post some pics.
Don't beat yourself up about the smokes.
Hang in there and I hope the weekend is good for you. Oh-hope you weren't involved with any of the huge pileups I saw on tv in Co.
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Me again.
If you don't mind me asking, have you gotten a little more comfortable with your new boobs? I surely hope so. Didn't I read that it takes months for them to settle into place? Lord, this stuff takes forever, doesn't it?????
mb
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Hi MB, I try not to look at them that often, I feel like franken boobs. I have the lolipop scar on my left and it hangs a little lower than my right and is cone shaped and the my right is still winking and round, flat and full. Kinda like the shape of my right better because of the fullness. Guess we will see what happens down the road as it settles. I have 750 cc in my right and 350 cc in my left, wow, they must of scraped a lot of tissue! So I will be a D cup.
As far as size, I guess it is up to you and how you feel about it. I am 5' 7" so a D doesn't look too large on me but I guess it is a matter of opinion. You will love your new boobs, shopping is fun too! Sounds like you will be a C or a full size B so tank tops will be fun. How tall are you?0 -
Now, did you have a single mx, then augmentation on the other? Aren't you just a week or 2 out of exchange? Are you bandaged 24/7?
I am 5'8", 125 lbs. Tall, skinny, and apparently flat! The surgeon said my boobs were "youthful" I have always looked like a young boy, imo. The kicker is I had just started to really accept myself and my boobs before this diagnosis. Strange. Another weird thing was I bought 4 shelf lined camis/tank tops at walmart months ago, and well before the bc....I had never really worn anything like them but thought I would try. Little did I know how handy they would be!
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I had a single mx and augmentation on the other. I had my surgery April 17th so 10 days out. Was shoveling snow yesterday and today so a little sore from that. Yeah Denver got hit hard yesterday and I could hear the sirens all day.
No bandage which is weird as the first time they had me wraped tight. I just wear a sports bra that isn't too tight or loose. Glad you like your tank top, wish I had your weight. This picture of me was taken last summer at my nieces wedding, I was 132 lbs at the time and now 154 lbs, not too happy about that. But the weight will come off as soon as I am back to dancing.
Had a push up bra as they were heading south but that was okay being 46, not sure how I am going to adjust to the new me. The good news was my implants were about 15 years old so it was time for a swap, got a warranty on these new suckers now, lol.
Hope you ladies are heading for a speedy recovery and love your new boobs!
Thinking of you all,
Hugs Janet0 -
You are gorgeous Janet. Niece is, too. Funny typo with the date of surgery....April 17 is my birthday. And I will be 47. Thank you for posting your picture. I will try to learn how to. Bet my 17 yo can help me.
Be careful with the shoveling. I know you are a tough lady, but protect yourself.
Take care.
Mary Beth
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Thanks MB for the compliment, my niece is so sweet, love her to death.
I am pretty mad right now, my ex just called and said that we cannot do business together. He had emailed me this morning about redoing his website and his new fiancé became jealous. The thing is it is not totally her, he is abusing me to make her feel better. For instance calling me to tell me not to call him in front of her to make her feel better at my expense. So I finally emailed him and told him to leave me alone. That they both need to grow up and they are hurtful, immature and their behavior is appalling. That we would just finish separating any strings that might be left over such as our web hosting or bills that have the wrong number or address, etc. Otherwise just stay our of my life. It takes time to separate and it's hard to remember everything that a couple shares over 11 years, so hopefully it will be over soon. The funny thing is that I am more over the whole divorce thing than they are, which should be the other way around. But it still hurts to be treated this way as I don't deserve it. I have been minding my own business and the few times my ex and I contact each other because of misplaced mail or wrong phone number, and that stirs up all this drama. Well until this morning when he asked about his website since I was the designer. I also told them thanks for being so hurtful at a terrible time in my life, _uckers! Well I didn't use any bad words, but I was thinking it. In fact, the only thing I want to do right now is concentrate on healing, work on my business and quit smoking, forget about dating, got enough on my plate. Men are the furthest thing from my mind.
Well sorry, had to have my rant and rave session. Your ladies have been my life saver! Those two are so inconsiderate to be throwing this drama in my life during BC, it just amazes me. It's hard not to feel alone in this with the emotionally crap of going through BC and I am not even talking about the physical aspects of it too, so much to process. Well better stop before I take the whole page. Good thing is I think that valium is starting to kick in.
What's that saying, better living through chemicals! Hope you ladies are doing better!
P.S. Think I will play my game for a bit, will be aiming at between their legs, Some games the guys go down with one shot, only a girl would figure this one out, lol.0 -
Nice photo Janzin. See ladies? We can still be HOT even though we are in our 40's (or more)!! That photo proves it. Sorry to hear about your ex. Actually, if you don't mind me saying so, he sounds like an immature child. Why on earth would he be saying things to hurt you, just to make his new girl feel better? Tell him that behavior went out of style with the parachute pants! (unless he still wears parachute pants...heehee....then point made). Do exactly what you are suggesting, concentrate on you and your healing!! Best of luck to you!
To everyone else, please post photos. I have gotten to see how beautiful all you are, let's see the photos to back it up. I will do so too!!
Ellie
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Hi All-
I'm back and though my fingers are crossed tightly, I do mean that! I feel 110% better then I did last Sat. after treatment. I think it's because of Emend. Even at $825 for 6, yep six pills is worth it's weight in gold if I get through tomorrow feeling the same way. I surely can handle sleeping alot during the day, fatigue and chemo brain as long as I don't have the GOD AWFUL nausea. As I told my Mom, I've taken the gun I had at my head and put it to the side, hopefully for good!
Ellie- I'm so happy for you that your insurance situation is coming together! It surely reduces your stress level to a more manageable task I'm sure. I have found the stress of going through this all encompasses every ounce of my being with no room to deal with anything else. Insurance issues? That gun I just spoke of would be right back at the head!
Janzin- Jeeze girl, isn''t it just something how ex's can continue to play with out heads? I told you before, we have much in common. One of these days when I have the energy to think long enough, I'll PM you with our commonality. For now, I'll quote him for my latest example of how lucky I am NOT to be with him during this all. I wrote him about our daughter and I also responded to his inquiry about how I was. I wrote how this diagnosis has changed my reality entirely and healthwise, I'll never have that carefree feeling as before. His reponse? "I understand how you will be followed now and that you will always have lingering worries about your health (don't we all?)" ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME? Yeah, he gets it! Maybe HIS lingering worries are due to the fact that his new wife is 26 years younger then him...one year older than our oldest! It's not that he's a bad person, quite the opposite. Just quite obviously emotionally CLUELESS. Had he been my sole source of support and comfort through this? That gun would have been emptied into my head by now!!
Oh about smokes, still there but losing their allure for sure. I WILL be a non smoker by surgery time.
Have a good night ladies.
xoEllen
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Hi Ladies, my boobs hurt. Guess I shouldn't of shoveled snow. It's just that I was feeling pretty good and my energy was high so it was hard to rest.
MB, Guess I won't forget your birthday, lol. I am so bad with dates, infact I signed the wrong dates for the presurgery paper work and they made drive all the way back there so I can initial my mistakes. I am thinking that in this year of electronics that couldn't we have done something through the email!!!!
Fifish, we can always be hot!!! I was 189 lbs 3 years ago and I knew I could be hot then too but I didn't feel good about myself so I became this frumpy person. I look at Queen Latifah and even with her weight she is one sexy women. So I knew that I made myself frumpy because of my poor self image. My ex is a dummy when it comes to relationships and he also helped made me feel unattractive. Now his new fiancé is dealing with that which seeps into my life from time to time. He means well but he just doesn't get it. Being single again gave me incentive to lose weight and buy new clothes as my friends said I was outdated. At least I wasn't wearing my Bon Jovi jacket, lol. So good bye sweat pants and large baggy shirts and ignorant men!
Rekoz, sounds like we both had an ignorant men and ignorance is not a blessing. My ex drop me for a younger girl too but now his life is a mess. His business has dropped 15% and mine has grown. Last year I increase head count by almost 100% and increase the income by 50%. He is losing his students because his new relationship, glad I had him buy me out, lol. As his business is going down, mine has been going up. I feel like you do, feel lucky that he is not in my life as I feel better as a person, more interesting, more attractive and LESS RESENTMENTS! I am happier without him! I am so happy that you are feeling better with your chemo.
Would love to see photos of you all, you all have come into my heart. I never knew that posting in forums would do this. I look forward to all of your posts and I feel this connection growing as we try to tackle our quit smoking and dealing with life and BC at the same time. I love getting to know all of you and happy to try to support you as you have supported me. I look forward to all of us tackling this beast and I know all of your stories and the ups and downs going through BC and quitting smoking at the same time, and they are amazing stories.
We are going to kick Butt!0 -
Janet- You are sounding so good and serene tonight. Someone told me, that when I get aggitated at a person that I should not "let them live rent free in my head". I try to remember that, when someone else is causing me distress. Don't need it or want it.
Ellen- soo good to hear you tonight and to hear that you are feeling better. You rock.
Ellie- hoping things are going well with you and your family. It does sound like your dh is a keeper. I hope the week went well with the job search.
Hoping you guys have a nice tomorrow.
MB
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Good Morning! Been off of Chantix for a while now but most days I don't smoke like I used too, which was a pack a day. Yesterday I smoked a half a pack so if I could keep it down from now until my quit day, that will make my quit day that much easier. I know I will have less urges because the first time I quit, I smoked 2-3 packs a day and had to deal with urges every 5- 10 minutes. It was HARD! But I had less stress then so it was way easier to quit, plus I had made up my mind to do it and I did. And I was pretty emotional after quitting then, cried a lot, was angry a lot and it went on for months for me. I learn how to deal with life without cigs and I became a stronger person for it. Having a way harder time now and I smoke way less, but I am not there yet emotionally from life and BC and I am under a lot of work stress. Building a business is hard work! I usually work 6-7 days and only break for hangovers otherwise I would work all the time. I like what I do but now it is stressful with all the competition I have that wasn't there 2 years ago. Had to re-establish relationships the my ex messed up with his immaturity and now I have free reins to market it like it needs to be done. Getting there slowly but surely but marketing plans can take a couple of years to see the final results.
MB, I love that saying and you are so right! We can learn to control our minds when someone distress us. I am getting better at it, got it down to one day, lol. But I will remember your saying and get them out hopefully within the hour!
The rest of you ladies, hope you are doing well physically and mentally. Let us know how you are doing. It's a sunny day here in Denver and wishing you a sunny day too!0 -
mbscruggs,
I also use that saying "don't let them live rent free in your head". I try to go by it, although it's hard sometimes!
Well, I'm still smoking and haven't decided if I'm quitting or not. I bought some patches from Walmart, but took them back. I wanted to quit when I bought them, now I don't. It's been up and down for me.
My husband and I bought me a car yesterday, I picked out a Honda Accord. Yeah! Now I'm trying to decide if I want to smoke in it or not. I don't want to smoke in it, but want to be comfortable while driving! I hate this sometimes!
Hope everyone has a wonderful day!
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Congratulations on the new care.
Don't smoke in it. I think I am older than you, so you need to listen to me!
3 rules I am trying to follow now:
1. No smoking in the new car (and I do try to not smoke in other vehicles, but they are already stinky, so I can rationalize that one away)
2. No smoking when I am talking on the phone.
3. No smoking when I am drinking a cup of coffee.
Enjoy your new ride! So much fun.
I hope all of you ladies reading this thread are having a good Monday.
mb
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Hi Ladies, another snow storm coming our way. And I have a 1:00 appointment and I am a terrible driver. Just had some one yell at me, "learn how to drive," a couple of weeks ago and I started laughing. Those things don't bother me anymore, I rarely get angry on the road. We all make mistakes and wait till they get older, you are not the driver as you were in your 20's. I can't see well at night and I get lost in a parking lot trying to find my way out, lol. My Smoking room is Cold. I actually have smoking gloves which are thin enough so I can smoke it down to the butt, that's pretty bad huh. I had fuzzy gloves before but they are hard to smoke with so I actually went out and bought gloves just to smoke in. The things that I will do to smoke, looking forward to not being a slave to it anymore.
Good to hear from you 2NewBoobs! I know the feeling of the up and down about quitting but as long as there is a maybe, keep posting. They used to say at Nicotine Anonymous that if you kept coming to meetings that the program would mess up your smoking and you would quit, and they did. Though our support group is not as strong those meetings but I think it's fitting for what we are going through. I use to date a car dealership owner and he smoked and he gave me some tips. If you have to smoke, try to air out your car before reaching your destination, smoke with the windows down helps, and NEVER turn on the heat or air-conditioning or use the ash tray. Airing out your car while smoking may help the inside a bit as you can clean that smell out but you cannot fully clean out the air system, and I have tried for weeks before. But as MB says, it is good to cut down on smoking habits as it is one less trigger to deal with when you quit. So if you can, don't. Try gum or sun flower seeds or chewing on straws, whatever works for you. Or try smoking right before you drive, that may help you cut down. Good luck to you wherever you land!
MB, having a hard time not smoking with my morning coffee. That is going to be one of the hardest trigger when I quit and that starts first thing in the morning, ugh!
Wish all of you a great day, good luck with your smoking, chemo, BC and life!
Janet0 -
You can do it sweetpea...I thought I;d have a hard time with the morning coffee one, too, but I drink my coffee first, then go outside!
Be careful driving. I, too, do not do well in the elements, and I can't see well at night, and it is hard to check blind spots now....the list goes on and on. I don't let other drivers bug me. I get where I need to be, at my pace...to heck with them, if they are running late- not my problem.
xxoo
mb
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Congrats on the new car 2newboobs! Try not to smoke in it, it just gives you one less place, which can help you quit.
Janzin, you crack me up. Finally someone who deals with road rage like I do. I have lived in Florida for 7 years, but my family is all up in Green Bay. When I go to visit in winter (which I try NOT to do) I take out every bit of insurance coverage on my rental and giggle my way down the road. It ia amazing how you forget what it is like driving in the elements. You don't like watching me slip down the road, then you can pass me. I have much more things to worry about.
Be safe ladies! Have a great week!
Ellie
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Well changing habits is one of the steps to do. So I am sitting here with my coffee and haven't smoked yet. Your right MB, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Got one good strong urge and then it passed and now my mind is on you ladies instead. I think that had helped out Nervousknitter too, she had wrote down when she smoked, which were the had to have one, etc. We have to break our smoking habits! Next I am going to stop smoking in my car. Don't have to worry about sex, lol, just me and my cat here.
MB and Fifish, I thought I was one of the few who has a hard time driving in the elements. I have been here over 4 years but it still scares me and the last snow storm I canceled my Dr appointment. I wasn't as scared when I was younger but after a few almost accidents, I am scared now, especially since my depth perception and vision gets worse every year, so I am the slowest driver in the snow. Hey, you all remember those signs that you could buy back in the late 70's that you could flip through different sayings and show it to the other drivers. My roommates are too young and they have never heard of it. I remember flirting back and forth guys with car sign being a teenager. Today I would of gotten the page that says, "Learn how to drive." lol. Next time I'll flash them my winkie, that should stop them in their tracks. Maybe even traumatize them for life. Sorry, I have a wicked sense of humor.
Thanks 2newboobs about bringing up your car, as we then talked about breaking habits and I just broke my morning coffee and cig habit today. Talking to you ladies first thing in the morning had made me forget all about that ritual. Just have to keep it up now. Next is smoking in my car and the cig after a good meal. I will keep this up until my quit smoking day.
REKos and Pantufas, hope you two are doing okay, miss you!
Nobleanna and Nervousknitter, miss you too and been awhile!
Webbie and Jancie, I hope you two haven't given up. Hope your chemo is going okay. Miss you, drop in a line sometime!
We will get there ladies one day at a time! Hopefully with smiles on our face!0 -
Praise the Lord and pass the gravy!!! Good news for me ladies, my dh found a new job. He got the call this morning and is off to take his drug test....he should start on Monday. Boy, someone is looking out for us. He is a project manager for commercial construction, so there is not much in his field right now in this economy, but when a competitor heard that he was laid off, he called and asked him to run his division. No pay cut and good insurance. I was so happy I was crying during my morning walk. Thank you for all the support ladies. I don't know what I would do without you all!!
So, I go for my 1 year mammogram tomorrow and I have set the quit date for May 1st. My sister is coming to visit in 2 weeks, and I know I will smoke with her while she is here. Best of luck to all of you. I am actually getting excited to quit again. This time I will go past 5 weeks (my former record).
To all of you getting chemo this week, you are in my prayers.
Ellie
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Where was this site when I quit 5 years ago?! I started smoking when I was 18. I quit once for 5 years and again for 2 years. The third time seems to be the charm - as I said, I'ved not smoked in 5 years.
When I first quit this last time I thought I would have to give up morning coffee (always had a cigarette and coffee), stop driving (always smoked in the car) and quit eating since I always had a cigarette after every meal. As stress levels went up so did my cigarette consumption.
Finally able to quit and do not regret it for one minute (besides I was tired of family members nagging me about smoking).
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I am so HAPPY for you Fifish! That is great news and you made my day. Great to hear you have made your quit date and I am sending you positve thoughts for your mammogram! I believe you will get past your 5 weeks because we have been working it!
Kmccraw, thanks for your post. It is so nice to hear from ex-smokers! It really helps us to figth this beast. Feel free to post any tips!!!
Hugs,
Janet0 -
Thanks Janet. We will be firing up the hot tub and mixing the cocktails tonight to celebrate. My dh is a hard working joe, and I am happy for him, I could see how worried he was. Thanks for the positive thoughts on the mammo, I will let y'all know how it goes.
Kmccraw, please give us more tips. Every little bit of inspiration helps! I know one thing about myself, I am not a "cutting down" type of person. I either go cold turkey and I don't smoke AT ALL, or I am back to a pack a day, there is no in between. So, May 1st, I am DONE. I see my oncologist that week, and I am going to hit him up for the Valium because last time I got SO irritable, maybe it will help.
Thanks again for all the support ladies. I find myself leaning on you a LOT lately. You are all the BEST!
Ellie
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