Stop Smoking Support Thread
Comments
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Beckers, I love being in the cheerleading section, don't you? Ladies, sorry for this comment but I know exactly where you are, the struggle, and I don't know if I would have the strength right now. But, I know you would cheer me on like I am doing for you, because I am you. I remember smoking the whole time with the patch on and worrying about my heart. I didn't like the patch then and I didn't try it this time when I quit. I had the most vivid dreams .... really, I can still remember them. I was pretty thin - and was wearing my red knee high shorts, skiing turtleneck, my fox-lined mink coat, and cow boy boots - red (which I don't even own). I went to New York (never been), and went to work and told all of my bosses off. I also try to convince my senior inspector to come on my band wagon and do it my way - he didn't even smoke. Honestly, I was so tired that I gave up and smoked just so I could have a few peaceful nights sleep. I honestly think I talked myself into this. Then after the laser treatment, I was looking for anything to allow me to go back .... doctor told my to try the nicotine lozenges (sp????), and bang, right back at her. I truly do believe that we allow all of the negatives to surface so we aren't successful in our quitting. Remember, we all do it at our own pace .... even when I get down about the weight issue, I think of going back .... smokes kept me slim. I don't know why I wouldn't substitute that image with going to a gym because I never did that. So you see, we only remember what we associate smoking with .... times that we thought were good and we want to run back to that when we quit. Keep going ladies, you can do it. Day is so right about the way a smoker really smells ... you will see.
Shawntez, sorry to hear about your diagnosis .... you will get lots of support here with both the "c" and quitting. Beckers, I can remember you quitting but it seems like ages ago .... see ladies "smokers can do it".
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Judi, your dream made me almost spit my water out on the computer screen! Love it! I take the patch off at night cause I don't want those vivid dreams. The Ativan I have been taking since my biopsy give me enough of that. But, if I had dreams like yours, it might be fun! LOL
I can't wait until I am where you all are! Can't wait!
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Judi, I do remember all too well. This thread was the only place on these boards where I truly felt accepted. I would check with my count of how long I was smoke free and you all would cheer me on. I checked in when I had the big surgery telling you I couldn't read English being high on dilauded! Karen was too... Ha! This is a special place for me and I stay and I cheer because I want you all to experience being free like I am. You can do it!!!!!!
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I love listening to the stories .. and I absolutly Love sleeping with the patch , I try to make it where the patch goes on at night just for the great dreams
.. it also helps a lot with the morning craves ...I seem to make it through the morning better if I put a fresh patch on at night . then towards evening I start to feel blah .. anyway , I absolutly love the dreams ... I take Lunesta at night to sleep becuase without it I am hopeless ... Anyway thank you all for the laughs today , sorry I couldnt really write much today as I was busy with a new person at work Hugs to you all and hope everyone is having a super weekend . I am off tomorrow and going to see a St Patricks day parade and have Hot dogs from the Hot Dog truck (yummy ) we call them dirty water dogs here in NY ... Love to you all 0 -
Makes me wanna put a patch on for the crazy dreams. Judi, bet you had it goin on with the red boots. Ha!
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How about we all put a patch on and meet each other in out dreams with red boots and all. hahahahahaha
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Ha! Sounds like fun!!
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Lisamarie, "dirty water dogs" - love it. I'm a health inspector so I'm going to tell my colleagues on Tuesday when I go into work. Sorry ladies, what happens in my dreams, stays in my dreams .... but every time I see red cowboy boots, I think of that dream. You know what else I didn't like? I couldn't stand other people quitting as I wanted them to smoke. Why, because I couldn't quit. So, I wanted everyone in my camp. Because that's where we always were. Didn't even think of the health consequences. Heard it all, yada,yada, yada. The crap that we can think of is amazing .... if I was just as good as that when it comes to everything else. I had the whole smoking thing done to a science .... yes, we all do that. Going out with the girls, girls night out, party time, studying .... whatevery required me to have more smokes, I got them. Sometimes, when I went out, I'd be carrying 3-4 packs, so I would always have enough for the night and morning. I also remember when smoking was o.k. and I lived in an apartment building. Wow, it was great - they had a cigarette dispensing machine. Only cost 2.00. Problem was, you needed all quarters. After a night out, who had quarters - spent it all on beer. Oh those were the days. But now, you know what I think of most times - I have to admit I still think of smokes - is how clean are my lungs. Definitely won't be looking like the ones they put on our cigarette packages to scare you. Ladies, we all have stories. Share them .... it could help us!
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I have a story about cigarettes. I started smoking young...13 (I know, I know!) and the way I would get money for cigarettes (smoked maybe a pack every two weeks then) would be to ask my Mom if I could return the glass milk gallon to the store and keep the money. Cigs were 26 cents a pack (YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT-26 CENTS!!) so I would take those bottles back which were a quarter deposit with a penny and get my smokes. I thought I was soooo cool with my pack of Marlboro Reds...now look at me. I could kick myself and the people who sold the milk in the glass gallons with the quarter deposit!
I also used to steal cigs from my Grandfather who lived upstairs (we lived in a two family house) and he smoked Pall Mall without the filters. I loved them no less. Everyone used to say "ewww gross without the filter" but they were good and strong.
I once was told if I wanted to quit to buy Camel filterless and that they would make me hate smoking...nope, loved them. They were the strongest cigs on the market.
This stuff is hard..I think I have a love affair with my cigarettes..lol
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Good one april485 .... I tagged along with you as I read your story. Ha,ha! I never dreamed smokes were that cheap .... 26 cents. When I started at 15 they were 50 cents and no one asked me for ID. I didn't even know how to smoke .... my friends had to teach me. I also remember when I started, I thought I wouldI try one of my sister's butts. I had to smoke it in the washroom, so I hid it in my knitted slipper (remember those - grandma made them), and told my dad that I was going for a shower. I asked if him if he needed to use the washroom and he said yes. I went it afterwards to have my smoke/shower, and for the love of god, I don't know how he knew. No butt. I found it and smoked it. When I came out, he asked me if I enjoyed it .... told him yes after I had to find it. There began my foray into smoking .... I was cool, and 40+ years later, have finally quit. I won't lie .... it is still a struggle. I also switched to cigars - the kind women smoke but that didn't stop me ... enjoyed those. I think we all have a love affair with the little bugggers. But like Lisamarie, I like the stories. Maybe we need to relive the reasons why we started to help us quit and to stay that way!
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I remember smoking at my desk at work! Also, smoking in public when I was pregnant, as well as in my hospital bed after I had the baby! You ready for something gross? I've actually smoked butts from my ash tray when I ran out of smokes!!!!!!!! Omg!!!! Yuck !!!
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Thank you for the welcome. You ladies are hilarious. I also started young, about age 12. I managed to quit for a year when I was 18. My grandma smoked Salem 100's, I would sneak one from her as she would buy them by the carton and would have at least 2-3 open packs around the house. Once I was older and everyone found out, she would always supply me with a few packs.
Every time I have tried to quit since I have found myself on a ashtray scavenger hunt for whatever was still smokable. For me, switching from menthol to lights helped relieve me of my menthol addiction. Smoking cigars helped me to say I don't smoke cigarettes anymore. I hate the smell and always rub down with hand sanitizer and lotion after I smoke. My handbag and coat stink! It's embarrassing when I catch the scent and know if I can smell it, a non-smoker definitely smells it.
I live in New York too, love those street hotdogs, pretzels, and knishes!
Ok, so yesterday I promised the boyfriend that I smoked my last cigar. I promised because I am a strong believer in keeping your word. If you cannot keep your word, you cannot be trusted.
I purchased the EonSmoke economy starter kit with 18mg, don't need or want the nicotine. Unfortunately, the store managers don't have a clue about these things. I asked one of the store managers to try and get me the 0mg cartridge (they cost $5 more online). I'm smoking the 18mg for now until I can order the 0mg and am getting a little buzz, lol. I really don't need the nicotine!! The goal in sight is to be nicotine and tobacco free by March 11, 2013.
It's all psychological, I have to be stronger than this, I am stronger than this. What I have experienced in my short lifespan thus far if proof of this. I can do this. We all can! At least that is the mantra for this morning, lol.
Good luck ladies and be well.
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Good Morning Ladies,
Decided to slap the patch on without having my morning cig and so far so good. Only ended up smoking two and 4 drags yesterday which was less than the 4 the day before. We shall see how today goes.
Judi, if you lived in NY, that explains why you paid 50 cents a pack and I paid 26 cents. Everything is double the money out there..lol. I was in NYC a few weeks ago and I went to buy a pack of smokes and they were 14 bucks! I pay 8.80 here in CT which is bad enough! I started smoking in 1967 (I was 12, not 13 come to think of it) and that is when they cost 26 cents a pack. I think there was a theme with that 26 cents because when I started driving a car at 16, gas was 26 cents a gallon too.
Maybe I should play that number somewhere on a lottery ticket.
Anyway, heading off to get a cup of coffee. I am going to try and make it through the whole day smoke free...I really want a whole day under my belt! I can do this! Right? RIGHT???
Thanks for your help! I can't wait till the e-cig gets here!
EDIT: That ashtray scavenger hunt is pretty common among us die hard smokers I would think. I hate the idea of it but I have done it too. I once smoked a cig I found in the couch cushions and I had no idea when it happened. Could have been there for weeks or months since I only vacuum under there every once in a while and as stale as it was, it beat not having one...yikes!
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Ok for me ... Smokes were like 65 cents a pack .. funny huh .. I started around 15 I guess . I can remember everyone in my family smoking . I wanted to be cool ... we were in a fort that we built and used ti hang out in and my cousin said come on lisa you gotta try it .. ok so Marlboro red I took a puff and choked my brains out and said yuck .. but then I just kept trying and there u go my Love for Marlboro reds still here after 39 years OMG I cant belive I just said 39 years OMG ... I still love them .. I also used to steal them from my mom , she smoked benson and hedges and we used to take packs from her and go tot he deli and trade them in for marlboros told the guy at the store we bought the wrong ones for our mom .. so crazy and no ID needed either .. wow.. then sometimes we would steal my moms bf smokes chesterfield king non filter talk about choke !! Blah Now I am so upset that I have been smoking for 39 years I never realized that until now .. I am so saad that this little monster had me captive for so long and still does ...It's so not cool anymore and guessing it never was .. there is my story ..
I am having my dirty water dogs today soooo excited .. Love me a hot dog truck Oh yes and my Loving cat Allie will be here at 10 am .. I am so happy to have her back . a friend to love and cuddle and talk to wooop wooop 0 -
April485, I'm from Ontario, Canada, so I always thought the smokes were way more expensive. Now, I know. Ladies, I don't think our smokes are as strong as yours or the smell of American smokes is stronger. I can smell an American cigarette as soon as it is lit. Don't know what it is, but it is. So, I too was an ashtray scavenger! Don't have to feel bad about this one. When I was getting low on smokes - maybe down to 1 or 2, I wouldn't smoke the whole thing, so I could have one when I needed it. Also, in the last 10 years, I would have a few puffs, butt it out, then go out later (15 minutes to 1/2 hour) to finish the smoke. Really, did I need to do that. Lordy, if I was only so crafty with money. Beckers, I too could smoke at my desk, and I worked at the Health Department. I remember when a group of people started the rage of the anti-smoking movement, and I thought it would never take. Yeah, what did I know. We could smoke anywhere, theatres, stores, airports, you name it - though I'm sure there were a few places. Now you can't smoke anywhere. Now, we have just approved the outdoor smoking by-law - illegal to smoke near entrances, anywhere where kids are playing outdoor sports, etc. etc. Now this is where I get peeved because if they are prohibiting smoking in public places, selling to minors, then wth. Why are they allowing tobacco companies to make them. Oh I know why but I see the struggles of people trying to quit or dying of smoking-related illness, and it peeves me.
Anyways, enough of my rambling. Ladies, today is a new day and you are all in the right mind-set. Keep it going. Stay strong but if you slip, don't beat yourself up. Just get back on the wagon and keep going. Remember, think of all the smokes you haven't had.
Off to yoga and grocery shopping. I don't have to cook Sunday dinners anymore because I CAN'T COOK, so dh has taken over. Whew, that one worked! Enjoy your day today, ladies!
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I love these discussions and to know I'm not the only scavenger out there!! What a relief! Ha! I love how motivated you all are... I know you really want to be smoke free. I'm wishes you every bit of positive vibes, prayers, smoke signals, whatever it takes that will help you through this most difficult part. It is so awesome that you have each other. I love being here to cheer you on!!!
Going to dinner in memory of my Dad today. He died one year ago. I miss him so much. He was my smoking buddy. You know we had a lot of quality time smoking together though. Heavy sigh. Sorry to end on a bummer mote, but I will be back later. Luv luv!!0 -
A friend of mine works with the movie studios helping their employees go smoke-free and he told me that some in the entertainment field use the Patch recreationally to help with their creativity even after they are quit.
I also know of a group of veterans who called themselves "the dream team" since they were all using the Patch.
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Beckers, sorry to hear about the anniversary on your dad's death. It's not a bummer how you ended this .... my heart goes out to you because I know it is how hard to let them go. I think of my mom, sister and brother, and everyone else every day .... maybe because of the bc. I don't know but I loved them very much. So enjoy your dinner and think of your father every minute. He is probably watching you and is so proud of his daughter!
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Beckers , sorry about your dad
.. I do have a funny thing to say . I was out all day .. and I told my GF I was writing my story about when and how I started smoking and then I told her can you believe I have been smoking for 39 years and she looked at me and said lisa .. did you start when u were 5 haha ur 44 .. I said ong thank god .. well bad as it is , I guess it's been 29 not 39 ..lol cant count these days .. tooo friggin funny .. anyway I had a nice day off .. and now I just made me some cube steak with gravy and onions and some egg noodles and corn and big glass of milk , I am eating anf going to bed ... work tomorrow .. Hugs all 0 -
What a group! I get email updates on the discussion and check them on my breaks at work. I smoked the heck out of my ecig today, and had a few laughs.
Glad to be in the company of those who truly understand the struggle and are honest enought to admit to the scavenger hunt. As sad as it may sound to some, I have always thought that it was funny. I find the humor in the most inappropriate things sometimes. I laugh because it makes the ugly things seem not so bad, and the bad things tolerable. I laugh through tears of sorrow and joy. I laugh because it feels good, and I laugh because sometimes stuff is just funny.
Beckers: I am sorry to hear about your dad. My mom died 19 years ago and I wish I had her here to hug me and guide me through this disease. Here I am at 41 with an 18 year-old son, still needing my mommy. That will never change. It just gets easier to accept that she is in a better place even though I miss her.
Lisamarie: You sound like my best friend from Virginia. Soon as she gets to New York for a visit, top of her list of things to do and see is a hot dog with onions. She says, "ok, Shawn, we gotta go to Manhattan so I can get me a dirty hotdog!" and she continues on down the list. Nothing gets done, until we get our hotdogs first. It's the best.
Ok, I'm dragging on because I am trying not to go on the ashtray hunt. I'm home and I want to smell "real" stinky tobacco smoke. I went 24 hours without a cigar. I want to say tomorrow that I made 48 hours. This is so bad, why is this so hard?....because I've been a slave for so long. Ok, so if I scavenge then I will feel like a heel and have made my word worth crap with the boyfriend. Not worth it, his trust is more important than the stink of tobacco. I am going to shower and go to sleep. Sleep off the craving, that's what I'll do.
Unitl tomorrow ladies, goodnight, be well and stay strong.
Love, hugs, prayers, and good wishes.
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Hey Lisamarie, I heard a guy tell me he started smoking when he was 6. Your years of quitting were funny because by your avatar, you look young. But some people do start smoking at a tender age. My guess on your age would be 30. I don't know what your doing but keep it up! So you have been smoking for 29 years and here you are going for the gusto and quitting. Good for you. You will not be like some of us who have been smoking for 40+ years and you will be a rich woman when you succeed. If I could sing the Daryl Hall and John Oats song it would be "your a rich girl ..... I don't remember the rest of the song" and that is you in so many ways. Have a good sleep!
To the others who are trying to quit .... you are right in there with Lisamarie!
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Shawntez, you are so strong and I'm so proud of you. I'm starting to feel like the big momma bear here (I'm 57) putting my protective arms into words to protect the young. I know what you mean about the smell .... my friend across the street still smokes. So after I quit, I would go across the street and take deep breaths in. Didn't make me want one most of the time but one day I told her that I was going to. Thank god her and her dh are strong and didn't let me. Like you, I would never forgive myself. Remember 24 hours, does turn into 48 then 72 so you are doing it. Just try and not think about it all the time .... the beast is trying to tell you it's o.k. I love your strength and commitment to your boyfriend ... he must be so proud of you and lucky to have you. Keep going and putting words into stories probably does help. Keep it coming! Have a good sleep!
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Thanks, JudiH. I'm trying, I just know sleep is the safest thing for me right now. I can smoke a real cigar in my dreams
. Goodnight, you sleep well too, and thank you again.
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Shawntez, thanks for the chuckle. A real cigar in your dreams ..... enjoy it and make sure you smoke it to the end. You can do anything in your dreams and you deserve it. We are here for you through thick and thin. You are strong girl! Goodnight and sweet dreams ........!
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Put on your red boots Shawntez and enjoy your dreams. Ha Judi! You are mama bear putting your little ones to bed. You have such a gift of being able to encourage. I always loved how when I came to this thread you were right there cheerin me on!! 48 hours! Woot woot!!
Lisamarie, that is soooo funny about smoking 39 years! No wonder you were having a hard time wrapping your head around it. :-)
Lisa 65 and April hope you are hanging in there!!!
We had a nice dinner. It's hard to lose someone significant. Life just hasn't been the same without him. Thank you for your caring words. I'm so tired. My granddaughter tired me out!!
Gnite all and sweet dreams my scavenger hunting friends!!! :-)0 -
ladies, yes, we all have dark secrets. I remember one time when I was trying hard to quit pretty much cold turkey. So I had about 2 cigarettes all day and those were the last two in a pack. I did not buy more so I wouldn't be tempted. Comes night - I hadn't smoked for about 7 hours at that time - I just couldn't take it and went to the car and checked the ashtray in the car and got all the butts from there and smoked them. On top of that I couldn't sleep so finally around 1 am I just went like an idiot to the closest 7-11 and got a pack of cigarettes. As dangerous as it was to get out of the house and go to a 7-11 at that time, I just didn't care. We do crazy things because of this addiction.
Otherwise, to my shame, I did smoke through all the surgeries I had before I switched to the tank ecig. Through chemo as well. I did heal fine. On top of that my lungs were clear too. AFTER chemo I got apical pulmonary fibrosis... because of the Taxotere. Go figure.
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Lisa Lisa Lisa where are you ? I hope you are okay . I on the other hand am tired of being the victim . I finally realize after all the stories I am just prolonging my quit more and more .. sooo I have decided that after this rotten pack is gone today , I am placing the patch back on my arm as it helps soo much .. so today at some point will be the start of a new life .. so shawnze , I am gonna be right behind you ... see you in my dreams .. there we can wear red boots , and eat dirty water dogs , and somoke all we want ..lol.. then one night we will meet again free from the lil nicotine monster .. I am tired of being its slave .. I am coughing like crazy and yesterday waiting in the cold for hot dogs I was frozen, my hands turned a beautiful shade of purple then white and were numb.. I have raynards disease as well .. so I think I dont wanna live being afraid and once again I am getting afraid .. poor circulation and all ... I am off to workland now .. I love you all .. biggest hugs ever.. I like that we have Mama Bear Judi its the best ... and Beckers , you too are the most wonderful support .. I couldnt do this knowing you guys arent here ... have a great Monday alll ..... and I am cheering myself to freedom .....
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I smoked a few cigs yesterday and one this morning. I am working hard on this and although I keep slipping, I am making progress. I can't wait until my e-cig comes in the mail! I hope it will be the missing link for me.
I know that once I get my pathology report from my lumpectomy (tomorrow is my post op appt and when my BS will give me the news about clean margins etc) I will be less stressed. I am soooo nervous about this. I don't want to have a re-excision and I don't want to hear the words "We found some IDC in your path slides" as right now I have DCIS only.
As soon as that hump is past, I know that I will be more able to concentrate on quitting these evil little suckers.
Have a great smoke free day ladies. We are so worth it!
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April , you are in my thoughts and prayers for an all clear on your margins and path ... hugs and keep up the good work you are so strong
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