Stop Smoking Support Thread
Comments
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April , yes still snowing like crazy ... I packed a pillow and a blanket and a toothbrush , change of clothes ect just in case I get stuck spending the night .. happens often here in bad weather . last blizzard I was here for 52 hours lol... Anyway I am sooo glad you are home warm and safe
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Where do you work LisaMarie? Do they have beds? Do you sleep or just lie down on the floor on a sleeping bag? At my age, that could cause permanent damage..LOL..just kidding sort of. I can't handle sleeping on anything hard! When we go camping we have a wonderful air mattress!
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April, I do private duty nursing . I work for an amazing family . so it's really not like going to work . It's like going to my second home . so we have couches and stuff here . lots of downtime . I have my laptop to watch netflix and or browse the net . we work 12 hour shifts . I love my job . I do however get tired it is physically demanding. I do have to bathe , dress, and get my patient up for the day it requires turning him and pulling . he is 194 lbs and he is traumatic brain injury and in a persistent vegetative state so he cannot help . but there are always 2 of us here at all times .. I will do range of motion with him to keep his muscles and joints moving so we don't get contractures . for the most part we have lots of down time unless doing something with him or visitors ..
blab blab blab ..lol 0 -
You guys in the north-east - this is crazy. You are experiencing all that snow and yesterday I filled up more flower pots, fixed some more patches of soil in my garden, put some more seeds in the ground and then bought some petunias and pansies and got them in pots and planters as well.
I totally understand the reading to help you cope with stuff, but like april, I guess I read other kind of stuff than most people, lol
TBH, during recovery from surgeries and chemo and all that nice stuff, what kept me sane was playing MMOs, like world of Warcraft and Guild Wars and such. I was able to immerse myself in that universe and totally forget about reality and what I was going through.
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Planting must be nice ... well soon my fellow snow friends we will be outside enjoying the warmth and the flowers Hugs ... oh yeah and the great veggies fresh from the garden ...
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Does this look like 3-6 inches? LOL..and it is still coming down! I put a yardstick in it and it was at 14.5 inches and still snowing hard! The weatherman got this one wrong!Day, wish I was planting seeds!
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April , I have no clue how to get the phtos any smaller .. they said snow was supposed to stop here at noon and its 2:30 p and still coming ... here is a Photo of my car this AM around 5:50 am .. LOL
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Hello ladies, hope all is well with everyone! I've been so busy and tired, that I just read the posts and left it. I apologize but I so tired, I don't know what is wrong. Sorry for those of you who got hit hard with the snow .... I feel for you. We got lucky ..... no heavy snowfall. I'm hoping this is the end of it. Day, so jealous of your gardening .... we will be with you in maybe 2-3 months. To those of you in the throes of the quitting game, keep it up .... you are doing fabulous. You know what, I haven't had a smoke since December, 2010, and today I was scrounging through my purse looking for them .... see you are the only ones who are having it tough. We are all in through thick and thin. If you fall down, you just pick yourself up and keep going. That's all anyone can ask of you. April485, it is understandable what you are going through ... concentrate on what is best for you. Likewise, the same to all of you. You will come out a winner, and when you do it will be a proud moment.
Rebecca, still tired. I feel for you girl. It's so hard to go back, isn't it.
Shawntez, when the weather gets warmer here and we don't have all of the snow, I'm starting back to my walking routine. Glad you are here to cheer us on!
Ladies, I'm going to spin class tomorrow morning - spinning nowhere but I'll be there! See you all later!
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Lisamarie, I am still here! So sorry I haven't checked in. Disgusted & depressed with all this snow already! I live on the north side of a mountain that always has snow. Always. I am upstate NY! School was closed today but fortunately I was able to work from home! I love your pictures! I would post one but it's too dark now!
Beckers, you crack me up with the "Lisa's"! I am the bad Lisa though... I feel like a doggone junkie that's smoking every 15 minutes because I need my "fix". I suppose that's true, Allen Carr's book helped me at least understand better WHY I smoke. I just need help getting across to the other side! It depresses me and upsets me so much that I am struggling like this. I get obsessive about it too. When I was standing in the parking lot at work yesterday, I counted all the cars and then realized that there's only me and one other smoker out of about 75+ employees. And I think, "All those people lead good, healthy normal lives." It makes me sick when I look at it from that perspective!
But just for this weekend I will NOT beat myself up over it! I have to give myself a break or I will crash.... All I do all day long is stress over why I can't stop this nonsense. I need to have a few good days to just laugh and relax....
Ah yes, 50 Shades... I bought the Trilogy last year, read the first two in about 5 days! Started the 3rd and never finished but perhaps I'll do that this weekend!
Hugs to you too Judi, Day, April, Shawntez & Galsal! Thank you all for your encouragement!!!!!!
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Hi ladies. Hope you had a good day! Just want you to know I'm thinking of ya. I'm going to hit the hay but will check in this weekend. Gnite!
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Lisa65inNY, hope your day is going great. Nice and sunny up here in Toronto - 5 C. So I'm really enjoying it. So, here's what I think - STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP! Maybe for you the trick is to cut back the amount you are smoking so that you are weaning yourself off. Cold turkey is probably not for you - I honestly don't think it is for anyone. Maybe make a bet with yourself that you can smoke less/quit then the other smoker. I look at the other smoker's at my work and think "I used to be one of you". So, I can say that about 95% of the time, I'm glad I am not with them. Keep reading the book or any other method that will guide you along. O.K.
Ladies, I hope you are all having a wonderful "Saturday". Take a break today and do something nice for yourself. You deserve it!
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Sorry Girls , once again I am MIA .. I am having a most horriable day !!! I know I have depression and I know life isn't always good .. but boy im sad .. this alone shit is really getting to me ... I worked today until 3 .. unusual as I do 12 hour shifts .. then I went to my storage until an found pictures from that ratty x that left me 5 months ago and now all I can doooo is cry and bitch and moan .. and wonder if my life will always be this way .. anyway besides that everything is okay .. the patch is what it is but works ..
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Dear Sad and Alone .... Remember what a "rat bastard" that he was. As my dh said to me "there will be valleys and peaks during the relationship". Sometimes I wonder what the peak looks like, but overall it is good. There will be someone there for you - always is - but he probably was not good for you. If he was, he would have been there for everything that you went through. You do have your children and us - I know, I know, it is not the same but you do have family. Life is what we make of it .... it's hard to move on but you have. It's just these little things that pull us back and down. But you know what, it's o.k. to feel sad or down. Gets our mojo moving again. You will meet someone when you least expect it .... so feel sad, it's o.k. but then chin up. O.K. If I was close by, I would be there with a bottle of red and a shoulder so take this for me being there with the rest of the stuff!
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Lisamarie, I just read the side bar "From the Blog" about the individual who took up yoga during her journey. What I found most interesting what the comment "be gentle with yourself - you are growing". I thing this applies to you today and everyday. Remember, life is a circle and you are only half-way through it.
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Lisamarie, I'm so sorry you are having one of those times. Life won't always be this way. You will adapt. It's a process. Wish we could all get together tonight for girl time! And the bottle of red! Hang in there!
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Day: It's ok, I am starting to play the newest Tomb Raider that just came out. I got hooked on it when me son cohersed me to play his PlayStation with him many moons ago. I think I just want to stray from anything intellectual or serious right now. Glad you understand though. Wish I could plant some flowers, I have few house plants and I am killing them slowly. I have a pale greenthumb.
Lisa65inNY: You are not the only one cheating and struggling. As my appointment for my first meeting with my Onc closes in on me I feel the anxiety suffocating me. I bought a bottle of vodka to sip as I smoke on a little of a cigar to take the edge off. I am an occasional drinker, avid coffee drinker. I have a family history of alcoholism and chose cigarettes over alcohol. Now I have to cut out everything to get the best out of chemo and combat nausea. I know chemo is a bitch, and surgery isn't the greatest either. I try to keep in the present and just deal with one day, today. I started out on this journey to quit and I was so determined I made it 2 days without. I just have to go for a week. One week free and I will be in the clear.
I got my nicotine free cartridges yesterday, vanilla, and they have a nice flavor. I can deal with them. I set my quit date to be March 11 and today is the 9th. I will not smoke another cigar after the 11th. That is it. I set my date and I must stick to it or my word will be worth poop. Cleaning and throwing out the ashtrays, no butts for scavenging.
Lisamarie: I loved the snow pics. You guys always get it the worst upstate. The weather was beautiful today. As spring approaches, I look forward to working in the garden booth register at work. The customers in the garden are the best.
Beckers and Judi: The crisp spring air is perfect for walking, no excuses ladies (lol). Soon...
Love, hugs, and kisses to all.
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I just got in and I still feel I'm suffocating. I had to go first to my neighbor's house to ask him to let my dogs out tomorrow, as I'm vending at a fair. My neighbor is a smoker and he smokes in the house. After about 2 minutes of talking to him I HAD to get out of his house as I couldn't breathe anymore. Not just stink, but plain nastiness!
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Lisamarie: You are not alone. Only in the sense that no one is physically with you, but you are not alone. If he left you, you are probably better off. I stayed with a man for 17 years because we had a son together. He cheated on his son's mother with me and I fell in love with him and got pregnant. He left her and 12 years later cheated on me for 5 years with her and I didn't have a clue. Kharma came around and slapped the hell out of my ass. I loved him but wasn't in love with him. I didn't eat for a week and stopped drinking water (ended up with an infection). I had just decided to get tubal ligation since he didn't want anymore kids, I was at risk for ectopic pregnancy and was about to be 40. He pulled the rug out from underneath me. I thought who would want me, I was fat, out of shape, couldn't bare children, and hated myself for wasting so much of my life on one man who didn't deserve me.
I befriended an old schoolmate from the 8th grade who wanted to be just a friend and had been through his own heartaching seperation. I fell head over heels in love with my friend, the most loving, considerate, and supportive man I have ever met. See assholes leave room for something better to come your way. Open yourself up to the fact that he was not worthy of you and that you deserve better. Cry it out, expel him from your system and realize that better awaits you. My heart hurts for you, as much as I am trying to get the point across to you, I know you have to find your own way in your own time. It will get better, I promise.
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Wow Day! I haven't been in smoker's house in a long time. I know what you been though. I have a good friend who she and her dh smoke in the house. Even when I smoked along with them, I couldn't stand it. After I quit, I was at her mom's, who has one smoke in the morning and evening. All night I couldn't sleep because that's all I could smell. I kept coughing. Isn't it amazing that we can smell and choke on all of it.
Shawntez, you write so beautifully. I could see you sitting there enjoying your drink and smoke. It was like a was right beside you. I too come from a family of alcoholics .... funny Irish people so I was like you. Chose not to drink that much, but I smoked like a chimney. Mom didn't drink or smoke and dad didn't smoke. I think a lot of it is in our genes. Anyways, I'm moving away from what I wanted to say, and that is I'm so proud of you. You have chosen your quit date and are very strong about your goal. Fabulous, fabulous, fabulous. We are all there right along with you! I'm not ready for the walking yet .... we have high snow banks and no where to really walk (I live in the country). However, I am going to spin class tomorrow morning so it kinda is the same thing.
Beckers, red wine it is!
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Day, isn't it something how nasty it smells? We must desensitize to it because when I'm around secondhand smoke now, I can feel it in my lungs the next day.
Shawntez, I asked my sister about good books to get lost in like 50 shades and she said the Twilight series was good. It was not juvenile like she thought she said. I don't have an excuse not to walk this week because we had storm Triton here last few days but thus week looks good for temps. I'm really at a bad place in that regard.
Lisa65, stay close. Try not to lose hope about quitting. I was pretty hard on myself too.0 -
Day: I was just about to head to bed, but couldn't resist your post. It cracked me up. You sound like my best friend. You know I'm a smoker, but the smell is nauseating to me. Sorry you had to experience that. I can imagine that is what most nonsmokers feel when they are next to me after I have just smoked. It is so embarrassing and I feel ashamed. I does stink. My house stinks and I am always cleaning and spraying and airing it out. But, then I smoke again and the cycle of insanity continues. You can't keep the stink away.
It was was the last sentence that got me. "just plain nastiness"
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Thanks Mama Bear! I think somewhere way way back I must have an Irish ancestor (lol). My great-great grandmother had beautiful red silky hair (lol) not common for a mulatto.
Beckers: I'll give Twilight a try. Heard the movies were good. I haven't seen them so I guess I'll give the books a shot. Thank you! Red Dragon and Silence of the Lambs were good books for me but the movies were horrible.
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My great-great grandmother Lucy Bass Ray born January 11, 1875 in Midlothian, VA
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Hi ladies , I've been really depressed today and bought a pack luckly a friend help smoke them i only had 1 the last 3 days. i'm just so fed up the insurance is dragging its heals on approving my script for the antidepressants it was a what the f ever kinda place i've been in now its raining and my dome is leaking i get the i just want a little break. tommrow i'll start on the tank again.i guess i'm really stressing about the whole radiation thing can't find anything on the boards about it either thanks for being there and not judging me love ya all
chris
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Thanks for all the support ladies ...Judi everytime I read the words bottle of red I think of Billy Joel and that sone .. lol.. anyway today is a busy day one of my best friends is baptizing her baby boy then I have to go babysit my granddaughter and bring her prizes as she iis now peeing on the potty
so grandma must spoil baby I think with the whole X thing for me is that there wasn't any closure for me . He just stopped talking to me one day and then never saw me again .. no explanation no nothing . so most days I don't think of it anymore and then the pictures and our happy faces brought it all back again .. the damm ??? as to why .. why couldn't he be a man and tell me why he was leaving .. tell me anything .. so I think not having closure is a hard thing for me to handle .
I know I have some family here and I have you guys , it just sucks sooo bad the lonliness ..I don't get out much so I don't think anyone will ever just come knocking at my door .. fat chance .. I tried the Match.com and the Eharmony bull crap , but for the most part I just found more and more guys still playing games and to think that when we are in our 40's they would not play the games so much .. oh well ...
I too can relate to Alcoholics , my family is full of it besides that my family are all smokers , I am watching all of them slowley dieing of empysema and copd ... my mom her sisiters and brothers and most of my cousins .. and I often wonder why I am not afraid ...I got pancreatitis 2 years ago and I was told not to ever drink again, or It would be worse next time and eventually I can die . and I spent a week in hospital in the most auful pain .. I stayed off the beers for over a year then the stress came .. ugh and now I don't drink too much ... but every now and again I will and sometimes I think once again why does nothing scare me ..
I agree that I wished we all could be in a big circle and be together and just give hugs and talk .. I am totally gonna try to have a nice day off and then tomorrow I am back to the grind ... Hope you all set your clocks ahead .. getting ready for spring
I think that will life my spirits as I am in a cabin fever blah winter mode .. maybe the xtra daylight will help ... Love and hugs to you all 0 -
Lisamarie, my take on the ex is that you dodged a bullet. You don't get it right now, but when you meet a man (and you will) who treats you the way you are supposed to be treated, then you will "get it."
I was married to my ex husband for 27 years. The last 15 of those years, he loved one thing and one thing only - himself (unless you count the gallons of vodka he was consuming) and I was the type that believed that marriage was forever, I took those vows before God and the world, yada yada.
Finally, at the age of 47, I woke up one day and knew I had had enough. I was tired of the promises and the bullshit. I loved him with all of my heart for so long (we met when I was 18 and married when I was 20) that I did not know how I was going to live without him in my life. But, as I said, I woke up one day and just knew that I did not love him anymore in the sense that I COULD picture a life without him and that picture was peaceful and serene and wonderful.
Four months after that fateful day when I realized it, I left. For good. I have since met the most wonderful HUMAN I have ever known. My husband (we married in 2007) treats me like a Queen and I am so blessed. I never knew life could be like this. I had no idea that there was such a creature because I ONLY knew what life was like with a narcissist and because I was so young when we met, I did not have any other frame of reference.
Sometimes, no matter how much we give, the other person only takes. That was my true take-away from my 27 years of marriage. A part of me will always care about him, and he is the father of my two wonderful children so I get that the marriage was meant to be for that reason, but now I am with the person who makes me happy EVERY SINGLE DAY!
There is life after a failed marriage/relationship, whether or not you do marry again. I was not looking to remarry and we waited almost 4 years from when we met to do it because both of us were not in a hurry to make a mistake after both of our long-term marriages failed. But, when it is right, it is right so we did it in 2007 with no regrets.
I have a friend who divorced in 2000 and is happily still single and loving life. She fills her life with activities that please her and friends. She could care less about hooking up with another man (except maybe to scratch that itch and she has a friend with benefits for that she says..he he he
) so the point of my rambling post is this... Find a hobby. Enjoy your friends. Be happy and if you meet someone else which at your age is VERY likely, enjoy your new happy life with them.Go through the stages of grief on losing the relationship but when you finally come to the part where you accept it and move on, life gets so much better from there.
Signed "one who knows"
(((LisaMarie)))
Put the patch on and having a tough morning already. I am praying I don't rip it off and smoke. Yesterday I smoked 11 cigs!
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April , Thanks so much as I read what you wrote the tears stream down my face
I know about the friends with benefits things but I just cant bring myself to try that as I am too sensetive and catch feelins . I am looking for somethings to do .. I don't even know what it is I enjoy that really boggles me ...I have golf clubs and I am thinking this spring I will take lessons , I am also voulenteering for the US Womens Open that is here on Long Island for the first time ever . in South Hampton .trying to make dinner and movie dates with girl friends . just seems everyone I know has a partner and or kids and makes things hectic as far as going out and such . I am really tring to get over this shit .. really I am ... I know I am better off and that he did indeed do me a favor because this shows I really was nothing to him at all. Today I didnt even put a patch on because that is the kind of day it is ...and besides that I am really starting to hate the game patch on patch off .. and the other truth is the cigarettes dont smell or taste good anymore , it's just a robotic motion now ... and I think that is a good sign for me , maybe the end to it all .. (smoking that is ) .. thanks so much for the feedback . I thanks everyone for dealing with my moods ... Hugs 0 -
April485, I can totally relate to your post. My ds has been married 44 years and he is do different. Before my diagnosis, he e-mailed her and told her he wanted a divorce. Then the cycle started again, and she went back. I was so peeved and told her so. I also told her that she no of no other life, and so this was all she knew. She is a bit stronger in voicing her opinions, but he still is the "cock" so to speak. I also had many bad relationships before I met my dh. I was 43 when I met him at a high school reunion. So I agree that you find someone even when you are not looking. I say to people who split after so many years, that "who you are with or who you marry at 18, 20, etc., may not be the person you want to be with at 40, 50, etc.". You gave Lisamarie lots of good wisdom. So Lisamarie, you are not alone. Many of us have walked in your shoes. If the patch on/off again, is ticking you off, maybe that is a good sign. But you need to lift your spirits before you can move on. Deal with what you can only deal with, leave it, then move on.
Braids, hang in! It's hard so don't despair. I hear you about all the crap you are going through. I proud of you because I don't think I could do it.
Shawntez, "silky red hair". I would have loved that!
Ladies, I'm not going to exercise today ... dh is working "so I'm cleaning the house". Yay!
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Looking at your photo and that beautiful smile, something tells me that when spring comes and you are out and about, someone will notice. As for the "online" thing, I met my husband on Yahoo Personals. I was looking to date and not for a relationship. We were inseparable from the moment we met. Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs before your prince comes along. Don't give up on that angle is all I am saying. I met a few men that were not my cup of tea or they just wanted one thing and figured there might be a lot of pent up stuff waiting for them...NOT. LOL...
The right person is likely out there waiting for you. When you meet him, you will know it.
Judi, amen about lifting spirits before being able to move on. For almost a year after I left, I kept thinking my ex was going to miraculously quit drinking, fight to get me back and save our marriage. He didn't. I finally moved on. It was so freeing!
Hang in there LisaMarie!
Shawntez, mulatto? I haven't heard that term used in a long long time. Most people identify as bi-racial. It kind of threw me when I read that I guess. I love looking up family connections online. I have found out a lot about my family that way. I am Greek going back at least 6 generations on both sides. Blew my mind that I was the first one to marry out of ethnicity in my family! My ex was Polish and Czech so my kids are an intersting mix.
Frankly, everyone is going to be mixed someday and the world will be a better place imho. No more delineating based on skin color/ethnicity. We all belong to ONE race imho...the human one!
Hugs to all...let's ge through this smoking thing and on to the other side where Judi, Day and Beckers live...you all know the one..where they HATE the smell of smoke on their clothes and in the air. That is where I want to be!
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