Stop Smoking Support Thread
Comments
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Glad that's behind you April!! My lumpectomies were very painful. Ouch! This is worse?
Lisa65, my PS actually nicotine tested me to make sure I had really quit as part of my pre op. He didn't forewarn me either. Healing was hard on the body without the cigs. I still got infection. I couldn't shower forever and was doing bandage changes 2 times a day. I remember thinking, "Dang, I can't imagine what it would be like if I smoked." I've read some horror stories about healing problems. Am I making you feel worse?? Not my intent. Just hoping to increase your motivation. Hang in there. I believe eventually you will say ENOUGH and tough it out. You can do this!! And I can't wait to see all of you in freedom and say, "remember when..." I believe in you.
I promise the first few days are the worse girls, then you will start to feel it get easier. I just hate that you are suffering. I do remember how flippin hard it was though.0 -
lisamarie, did I miss something? is your Dd doing this for a benchmark or is there a problem?
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Thank you ladies!
Still a little peeved that I am waiting to be staged. So far I got a few stats...tumor is 2.3 by 2cm, lymph nodes involved, red blood cells consistent with metastatic adenocarcinoma. ER+, PR+, and HER2+. Get portacath on Thursday, getting Adriamycin and Procytox to start. Is that not a freaking mouthfull?
It's a pinot and backwoods night for me!
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Oh Shawntez. You okay? That's a mouthful for sure! Waiting is so hard. Just know I m thinking of you and holding good thoughts for better news and soon!!! ((hugs))
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Galsal, well My daughter went to the doctor and because of the family history dx breast cancer and cervical they did routine to be safe a pap and a breast check , they found one lump that she will continue to watch . I just told her to keep a good eye on it ..she is a trooper . but she also drinks a lot of sodas so it very well could be caused by the caffine as you know . I had a lump like her when I was 18 and had a lumpectomy and it was begnin . so I pray she will be okay she was just scared being alone and all .
Shawntez, I am so sorry . I pray for you ladies all the time . I am always here if you need to vent as you are always here for me . Big Hugs . hope you enjoyed to Pinot ...
Lisa65 I always have typos here and never read back before I post .. I am laways rushing .. then after its posted sometimes I read it again and im like jeeze they are really gonna think what the heck ..lol like everyone says ,, your so much like me .just keep your head up anad be strong . You are Stronger than you think really you are . I thought I was so weak and I found I was not . I did not have Insurance at all when I was diagnosed . I was like OMG now I have to stay with cancer .. but NYS had a cancer program and I was accepted and now I have insurance . if you want other details send me a text . it covers breast, ovarian, prostate and colon cancer . I know our journey seems long and far far away and sometimes it seemd we will never get there but if we never stop trying we will one day succeed
HUGS April . hoping your healing is going well ..:)
Judi and Beckers .. Big Hugs for all the support
and love you give to so many of us hopless women ..it's gonna be a rainy day off for me today but it's okay because I am off from work ... enjoy the day 0 -
Lisa 65 I found this for you and everyone else whom may be struggling at this time
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Good Morning everyone! Today I feel a little better although it was an uncomfortable night cause I could not sleep on my left side and/or my back. I did not realize there would be muscle involvement as my shoulder and my sternum both hurt quite a bit. I just thought my incision would hurt...silly me. I guess after all of the trauma my poor left side has endured since January 25th, it was bound to catch up to me! I have had a vacuum assisted core needle biopsy, a wire localization and two lumpectomies, all in the space of 6 weeks or so. Guess that is why I feel as though I was hit by a freight train. Drugs and ice are working well and being able to have my morning coffee is the best!
I smoked yesterday (I know, one would think that after surgery I would stay away!) as I just plain did not care about this stuff yesterday. When will I learn?
I am starting smoking cessation at Yale on March 25th and although I have all of the stuff I need to quit now, I am not going to put that much pressure on myself. I have set a quit date of April 1st (April fool's day..lol..so fitting) and will aim for that.
My e-cig stuff came in the mail yesterday and will read all of the literature today and try it. I am betting this is the missing link!
Gonna work hard to cut down each day before my official quit day and who knows? By then, I might even be a non-smoker if I work hard enough.
Wishing you all a smoke free day!
LisaMarie, hoping your DD's tests are all benign!
Shawntez, will keep you in my thoughts and prayers sweetie
Braids - ditto what I said about Shawntez
Lisa, do not feel like a failure. This stuff (tobacco) is the most addictive stuff on the planet. Even people who have quit for years still get urges to smoke! It is hard chica and I am here right along with you as a 40+ year smoker! We will get there!!
Judi, Beckers and everyone else, thanks for your support!
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Good morning! Thank you all for the hugs and prayers.
April: That chocolate bar came in handy while I was waiting around in the clinic going throught the motions to get my treatment underway, had you in my thoughts.
I talk about you all to my friends, family and social worker. You each bring something different to the table and make this insanity more tolerable, and I am very grateful for that as well as each and every one of you. In my 41 years of life I have been truly blessed with meeting and knowing the best people. Every experience and person have influenced who I am and how I deal with life. I am stronger each passing day.
The pinot got me to sleep, otherwise I would have been up all night trying to stage myself. I'm one of those people that needs to know everything, how stuff works, plans A, B and C and such. I ask questions, solve puzzles and seek more information. This is how I function. So, how can I disect this insane addiction and turn it around? This is the puzzle I am going to crack this week.
Love and hugs to all.
April: feel better XOXO
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April--I would be interested in your experience at the cessation group at Yale--if it is their own program or someone elses (ALA etc)..
My offer for a free copy of my Tips book is still open to anyone on this list, I just need an email address. I am a former smoker. i had quit 3 months before my first diagnosis in 1987. I made it through surgery and radiation without smoking but relapsed while going through chemo--that s*** just kicked my butt and I couldn't cope with my cigs. Even though I really wanted to be smoke-free--it still took me 3 years before I was finally able to quit for good without relapsing. I started volunteering for the ACS and facilatated their program for 5 years as a volunteer, I was also trained in ALA's program. I was a mortgage broker but helping others quit became a passion project for me. I went back to school and got a Masters degree in Health Psychology/Behavioral Medicine and I went to the Mayo clinic and was trained as a tobacco treatment specialist.
My Tips book is not about any one "method" but about the process of going from the attitude of "I'm going to smoke until I choke" to finally becoming smoke-free for good. For those of you who have quit--you are the end of a journey that others are still on--you can look back and see your progress--to see what worked and what didn't work-you can see your itinerary in full spectrum. For those still smoking, your itinerary hasn't been created yet--you don't often know where you are going because you haven't been there yet. It's a trial and error process --like going on a journey without a road map. My e-book is like a road map in understanding the steps it takes in discovering what works for you.
Good luck to all. VJ
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Well to all of you smokers .... don't despair ever. I have been smoke free since December 2010, and today I wanted a smoke so bad, I could taste it. I even had the same sentiments as all of you "who cares" but then I remembere each and every one of you and thought, I can't do this to them. I almost broke down but you all gave me the strength to keep it going. For that, I'm thankful and forever grateful.
Shawntez, oh shit! What a mouthful to receive. I remember when I got my itty bitty diagnosis, and I googled everything, even this site. But, I only wanted to look for the negative because that's all I really knew. So, a good friend told me to walk away and don't google anything ..... google is not always a good thing. Best advice I ever received ... and the MO agreed. Just try not to solve everything without getting your info from your oncology team. I have an aquainteance who heads up our "Look Good, Feel Good Program". She is such a mentor. To skip through quickly, she fired her whole oncology team and got a team who would work with her. Twenty-four years later and she is one beautiful women. So, what I'm trying to say is stay positive, positive, positive!
April485, glad to hear your are recovering. My second time around was sore but I think that has to do with that your still dealing with the crap from the other surgery. I remember being so hungry and eating like a pig which was not the most brightest thing in the world to do. I had taken pain meds as well, and I really was scared. But one day of that, and I was good. Keep going girl, you will get through it.
Lisamarie, love the pic. Sorry to hear about your dd but at least it was more positive.
VJ, was surprised to hear about your battle with the demon. I thought you had beat it firsthand. Nice to know that we are all the same (no pun intended)!
To all others, hope your day is going well!
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"So, what I'm trying to say is stay positive, positive, positive!"
Careful. You might get one of these replies.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLqHirQi_rs
Talking of which, that is one of the worst things to say to a cancer (or any other terminal ilness) patient/survivor. On top of al they have to deal with, you'll get them worried that maybe they're not positive enough and it's their fault that their disease progresses. Big no-no.
http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2FBF00343919
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1046/j.1365-2354.1997.00043.x/abstract
Besides
http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs12160-009-9154-z
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2081407/Why-staying-positive-WONT-speed-recovery.html
(original study http://aje.oxfordjournals.org/content/172/4/377.abstract )
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Oh Day, you have me all wrong. I resent your comment that you posted and that I may get one of those replies. At the time of my diagnosis, cancer survivors told me "to stay positive". It's enough that you get dealt this shit plus put up with other crap influencing your life. You may find that comment offensive and personally I resent your comment. With this comment, I don't feel like I can be a part of this thread!
Ladies, good luck with your quest to quit smoking!
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Oh no! I appreciate both perspectives. I get what you are both saying and try to see what you are both offering here. That is what I need. Researching that which I do not fully understand enlightens me to a vast knowledge of everything. I also need to keep things in perspective. I am open and objective. The Youtube video had me in stitches, gonna post it to my Facebook profile for friends and family.
Again, I love you all for what you bring to the table. That was said way back before any replies were made. We are all struggling here, differences of opinion are what I need. Different perspectives, ideas and information. As I process this insanity of cancer and try to do what I must to improve my chances and outlook.
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Hi there. How is everyone? Judi, you gotsta hang in there. Day, VJ, Galsal and I would miss you in the cheering section. Well, VJ and Day are our resident experts/cheerleaders. VJ, how awesome that you took it all the way to a Masters!!
It is worse than heroin. I do remember thinking how I have done this my whole adult life and I have no coping skills. I worried that I missed a step at a time in my young life that I can't get back. But nope, you actually adjust eventually. Even considering all the time spent smoking, you still find ways to occupy all of that time. Does that make sense? Hope I'm not just rambling!
Day, it's true what people say sometimes. I found it was never right! I eventually became a hermit hitting ignore on the cell phone. Because I am stage 1 I would get the ol' "Could be worse." ummm really? Sure glad you let me know that. Ugh! Makes me angry to even type. That's why I am soooooo grateful for these boards where people actually understand!
Judi, that made so much sense what you said about looking for the negative. I still secretly believe I must be stage IV somehow, somewhere. I smoked for how many years? How could I have gotten off the hook that easy?
Lisamarie, so sorry your daughter has to be part of the wait and watch club. Im afraid that would have made me coo coo. Did they ultrasound it? How's your kitty kat? Hope it's going good!
April, sorry you are so uncomfortable, it is truly barbaric what they do to us. I remember getting the wires placed and they explained "that chair is in case people pass out." I had punch biopsy on one side and stereotactic on the other. That was a trip...up on hard table with boob hangin down cranked up like I was getting my oil changed and hear them drilling down there. Maybe they changed my tires too! Of course there's the MRI with the boobs hanging through the holes....there's a reason I wanted them off. They were not friendly!
Shawntez...how was your day? I told people about you all too. I felt it really helped me so much. Still does.
That's all for now. Enjoy the daylight!0 -
P.S. I think Judi realized I was also attempting to diagnose my own stage of cancer, which I am somewhat guilty of. I know that I am neither equipped or educated enough to do, but still I tried. That is not a good idea. I get that and need to focus on quitting here and getting to a place of freedom. I need to find a place within myself where I am able focus on my overall wellbeing. Google is not my friend, but Youtube could be.
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HIi Beckers! I'm ok, still smoking, stressed beyond belief.
Could not have said it better myself, glad you posted.
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Judi , I don't want you to go . I left here once for the reason that sometimes people say things that really piss me off .. But you guys told me to let that go and come on back . I come here I read and I write . I take what I need and leave the rest. You are a big part of me and helping me . I would seriously be deeply sad if you leave . Hugs
Shawntez, that is all I did when I got diagnosed , I lived on Google searching everything everything there was to know about what I had , treatment .. and it goes on and on... so I think it is normal for us to search . and everyone told me the same stuff , it will be okay , it's not that bad , stay positive , be glad you don't need chemo and radiation .. and it goes on and on and on ... so I don't even know what I am trying to say .
Beckers, thanks . I am doing okay and the cat is great. and they did not do US on my daughters lump and I found that to be weird . for now she will keep an eye on it . I think one thing happens after the other sometimes . My mom had cervical cancer and had to have a radical hysterectomy. she had to do Chemo and Rads .. now she has a para thyroid issue and needs surgery , just got diagnosed with osteoporosis and diabetes and high liver enzymes .. I am worried to death ...:( Sometimes I feel like the Shit never ends .. but hopefully after the surgery things for her will go back to normal .. she was also given a diet for high cholesterol .. when it rains it pours...
LisaNY Lisa NY where are you ???
April hope the recovery is going well
Hugs to you sweet one ...0 -
Thanks, Lisamarie. I get what you're saying even if you don't
. Will add your mom and daughter to my prayers.Mama Bear: My daddy tells me over and over "opinions are like butt holes...everybody has one and most of them stink". Don't know where he got it from, but he usually says it when he has said something that hurts my feelings or pisses me off. Please don't go.
April: Hope you are feeling a little better today.
Getting prepared for chemo as much as I can. Heard its going to kick my behind hard. That's good, cause I sure hope it's gonna kick the hell out of this cancer. Port-a-cath tomorrow, MUGA on Friday, CT next Thursday, Brain MRI appointment pending. Off to my job to put in for medical leave; just made a year there this week.
I love you all, prayers for a peaceful day and success in whatever today's goal is.
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JUDI.....NO!!!!!!!! I didn't make the connection to what you had said earlier!!!!!! Don't you leave (down on knees holding you by the calf and you dragging me behind you). This thread will die without you.
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JudiH--I have "quit" smoking for at least 3 months nine different times (this is not counting the numerous times I've stopped for a day or two or a week)--once I quit for a year--but each time I would relapse. Each time I quit--I learned something new about my attachment to my cigarettes. One time--it was all about having something in my hand--I used coffee stirrers (ones from Carls Jr. were the best--flexible, just the right size, unlike McDonalds which were stiff and would break in my mouth) (I think this is one of the reason why e-cigs are popular--something to have in your hand--especially when using a 0 nic cartridge-I usually suggest to my clients to check out the inhaler--many of my clients like it and don't use the nic cartridge--but it is something to hold in your hand). In the late 1980's when I was going through my quitting process--there weren't any medications and we really didn't know much about how to help smokers quit--so I really went through a trial and error process. Nowadays, so much more is known about how to treat nicotine addiction but unfortunately society is still telling us--it's just a bad habit and why don't you just quit--instead of understanding that nicotine addiction needs treatment--just like a herion addict needs treatment.
another time I quit it was how to be a non-smoker and still express anger. I learned I would "stuff" my anger by smoking. The last time I relapsed I was so anger at my father for something he had done that I had no idea of what to do except go straight to the store, buy a pack and smoke the whole pack--there was no kidding myself that I was only going to have one or two--but I knew I was going to smoke the whole pack to smoke my anger away. Emotional smoking was the hardest challenge for me.
Even after I quit (for the last time) I was scared to death that I would relapse again--which is why I started teaching others--I had started volunteering for the ACS and the volunteer coordinator told me if I wanted to quit for good--teach someone else--so I started doing their program--1 month after I quit--My plan was to do 3 groups over one year and then I felt I would be safe from relapsing but from leading that first group--I had a connection to the the smokers--unlike most people who lead cessation groups--they have never smoked--they just don't know the power the nic-o-demon has over a smoker.
One reason why I call my program--Stop Smoking, Stay Quit--is because I really believe quitting is a 2 part process and each part requires different skills--first you have to stop, and then you need to stay quit (not relapse). My "method" is not a "method" at all--because I think we need many different tools, not just one. The car cigarette needs a different solution that the drink cigarette and another tool might be needed for the anger or happy cigarette. We smoke for many different reasons and it is unreasonable to think that just one "method" will work for all the different ways we are connected to our cigs.
I think there are some of you on this list who have a problem with me and hesitate to contact me for a free copy of my tip book--even though there is so much information in there that could help you--so you can buy it on amazon for $2.99 http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004TSLNCI or just buck it up and ask me for a free copy.
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Maybe the thread won't exactly die, as I can see you girls have formed a tight bond. But, honestly whenever I would post here, guess who the first person to respond was? Judi. No tine would pass either. She would lift me up if I was down, cheer me on if I posted good news. Some of the others have maybe taken a break or whatever, I don't know, but Judi has been faithful. I'm sad.
Braids, wishing you well. Are you ok?? Any news on rads?
Lisa65, come out come out, wherever you are...
April, hope you are getting more comfy now that first few days have passed. I found sleeping on a wedge helped so much.
Lisamarie, I am so sorry about your Mom. Hold on to you seat. Having elderly parents is so hard. My Mom went to the doctor yesterday and it seems she may have a mass in her abdomen. No, it doesn't ever stop it seems. So, she will have a CT scan. Heavy sigh.
POCKET PARTY!! Shawntez we will come with you to get port tomorrow!!! I think we need booze this time. And...lots of chocolate. Good luck as you take all of these steps. Looking back, I was in such a fog. Don't know if it was because my Dad had just died. It was one year ago, this same time, that I was going through all of the motions. Do you ever wonder how little old ladies survive the process? I don't know why, but I wondered how they do. I thought they would just have a heart attack and kill over because it is so damn stressful. Not to mention getting boobs smashed, being in crazy positions, wires stuck in you. No thanks. I hate this rat bastard disease. Oh the Tamoxifen is talking. Sorry girls. MORE COFFEE!! I will bring some Starbucks coffee in the morning too.
Hang in there ladies!!! Judi commm baaaaaaackkkkkkk!!!!!!0 -
Pocket party it is. Have a nasty Moscato Rose (only because it's pink) for good luck. Pink is my favorite color and I thought it would be appropriate for kissing off alcohol for treatment in honor is BC. I figure if most of you could get through this and my mom had a cath in her neck, this is not as bad as I fear. She said she felt like Frankenstein with the scars from the removed cath from her chest and then this thing sticking out of her neck. I'm on a quest for comfortable clothing to wear to treatment appointments today. Need to get my butt out of the house.
I have a week to pull it together and suck it up. No more smoking, no more, I am so sick of this crap. I have to get past my triggers.
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Regarding comfortable clothes--I needed some shirts that buttoned up the front because I knew I couldn't lift my arms after surgery and something large enough to fit over the drains but I didn't want to spend a lot of money. So I went to a thrift store and bought a couple of men's shirts. One was a pretty shade of blue and looked like a hawaiian print--it was my favorite. My sister came to take care of me after surgery and she was the one that noticed the Hawaiian print was actually a bunch of skulls--the shirt was covered with skulls and bones--she thought I just had a morbid sense of humor.
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My kinda gal VJ. I was planning a trip to local thrift shop this weekend. I think your sense of humor sounds a bit like mine.
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Cracking me up VJ!!! Lol. I too went thrift store shopping. Ended up wearing extra large men's white vnecks. Easy to get in/out of.
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That makes so much sense VJ. My biggest trigger is anger.
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Hi Ladies,
Just popping in to give a big high five to all who have quit and some encouragement to those just starting out!
It has been over 3 years since I quit with help and support from the ladies here! I went cold turkey and, while it was probably the hardest thing I've ever done, I got through it and don't regret quitting.
VJ's point about needing a variety of 'tools' in your toolbox to handle different situations was a very good one! Also getting some plan in place for how you are going to go about quitting (rather than kinda making it up as you go) is critical! It's much easier to just stick with the plan and not have to figure it all out while you're quitting.
Judi,
I hope that you will reconsider and stick around! I know from when I was posting here trying to help others to quit, it takes a lot of your time but, it is just so great when you see someone succeed. Not everyone will agree with everything you post (and sometimes a bit emphatically..lol) but, for those who need it, that support may be just the final 'tool in the toolbox' that they need to get to the other side.... As LisaMarie said take what you need from this thread and leave the rest behind...
To all just starting out... Once you have quit, look into one of the Quit Meters that are out there. They keep track of things like: How long it's been, How many cigarettes you've not smoked, How much money you've saved, etc.... Just seeing how hours become days then weeks, months and years is encouraging.
I used one called QuitNet. It sends you an encouraging e-mail once per month with your stats... Here's mine from January.... Prepare to be amazed...lol....
Your Quit Date is: Monday, January 18, 2010 at 11:01:00 AM
Time Smoke-Free: 1095 days, 19 hours, 49 minutes and 17 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 21917
Lifetime Saved: 5 months, 17 days, 10 hours
Money Saved: $10,521.600 -
Holy cow Seaside! That's reinforcement for sure.
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I still look at that dollar figure and can't quite believe it! I should figure out the amount I've spent over the 30+ years I smoked. Might be hard to do with how drastically cigarettes have changed in price over the years! They were 50 cents a pack in the vending machine in the pizzeria... No one even cared that we clearly were not 18... Very different times..lol!
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Seaside, I registered at Quitnet awhile ago but I don't get those emails. Do I need to do anything particular??
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