Stop Smoking Support Thread
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LisaMarie - sending hugs. Hope the boyfriend is treating you like especially valuable porcelain. Check in when you can.
So many smoke triggers. At least this far out (8 years) they don't last long. But they do cause moments of remembrance. Where are all the newbies who are trying to quit, or thinking about quitting, or.....???? We've all become friends on this thread, so the discussions may not all be about smoking - BUT, we're all here to pass on tips & support you. Jump in to rant or celebrate.
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Hey smokers & non-smokers. Happy weekend.
I've scored tickets for tomorrow afternoon to see the Nora Ephron play, Love, Loss, & What I Wore. She is the author of the movie When Harry Met Sally; and one of the funniest books I've ever read - I Feel Bad About my Neck: And Other Thoughts. The show is done in a small 'cabaret' theater that's a new venue for me. Should be good fun.
Bosum - are you OK? Haven't seen you in awhile.
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Hi everyone!
Starting my chemo next Wednesday , last 2 months was trying to quit smoking. Every night before I go to bed I promise myself I'll quit tomorrow . And when the new day comes I smoke again, and so on and on. I hope I'll quit when I start chemo. 3 days left!!!!
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Welcome Ruska .... this is a great group and everyone here will help you in your quest to beat the nasty little devil. Shout out, cry out or do whatever it takes but we are all here to listen.
MT, never heard of the book but I'm going to check it out. So this was a first for me .... stayed in a hotel and was given a "nonsmoking room". They are all nonsmoking rooms in Ontario so I don't know what the front desk was thinking. Had waaaaaay to many drinks (margueritas and wine don't mix with Reactine) and was feeling no pain. If I was smoking, I would have had waaaaaay too many of those as well. As least I only woke up with a bad hangover!
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Ruska - welcome. It might be a hard time to quit smoking but a really worthy goal. We'll be here to listen to your progress.
Judi - oh, la, la!!! The last time i remember being there was my nephew's wedding in 2009. There were drinks before the wedding, drinks while waiting for the pictures to be taken before dinner (which took forever as usual) drinks w/dinner, champagne all the rest of the night w/the dancing. My son & DIL had rented a suite at the Hyatt - living room in the middle & bedrooms on each side. I don't even remember getting back to the hotel & certainly didn't want the fancy breakfast when he woke me up the next morning. Too bad I didn't enjoy the suite. Champagne is forever off my list.
Bosum - just had to chase you down on the single thread to make sure you're OK. What ever happened to the "bad boy"? Did he call?
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Ha, ha, MT. Weddings can be a bugger. I'm like that with gin .... can't get me to touch the stuff.
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Ruska , welcome and glad you are here there is so much support here if you are smoking or not, These are the best ladies Ive ever met in my whole life ...
Minus , Judi < april , I am okay still just processing it all
Bosom .. miss you hope al is well
xoxoxox Lisamarie
Just for today I have not and will not smoke or drink .... finding peace and serenity
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LisaMarie - so glad you checked in. We do worry about you. What are you doing to keep yourself busy? It's such a hard time. Wonderful that you're not smoking or drinking. Hugs.
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Is there anybody else planning to quit smoking? I really, really enjoy smoking. I know that's pathetic, but I just really do like smoking. Anybody want to buddy-up with me?
I start chemo on Friday, 8/21/15. I will use the patch. Not going to tackle this cold turkey.
-amy in Minnesota
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Yup Radtk, we've all been there and love (ed) it. Many of us never wanted to quit. Most of us were ambivalent about quitting - yes, no, yes, no, yes, no... Several people here used the patch. I used Chantix. Some used e-cigarettes.
Maybe Ruska will pop back in after her first post on 8/16. She starts chemo Wednesday. It is much easier if you have someone at approximately the same stage & can post here all the time w/your woes & angers & successes & bitches. We'll back you up with tips & commiseration. Also one of our thread members - VJ - has a quit smoking book she's willing to sent to BCO members who are trying to quit. I'm sure she'll chime in soon. Or you can scroll up to 8/11 and click on her avatar & send her a PM.
Ruska? Who else? If you're lurking, maybe now's the time to jump in?
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Ruska & Radtk - I see you're both in the August Chemo group. I got wonderful support from BCO sisters going through chemo the same time I was.
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radtk, I am sorry I cannot buddy with you but can be there for you . I am already quit . what i did notice is that you are much like me .. I too said I loved to smoke .. and never thought id be able to stop .. but its 9 months I guess now , I am not counting this time ... Lol ... I have been through a lot of stress in the past months and cannot believe the strength I have . I believe that everyone has the strength in them .. and you do as well . I am here if you like to PM me ... and this is the most Amazing group of women .... Glad you are here ..
Minus yes I am trying to keep my mind busy , I went camping last weekend and rode the motercycle for about a minute lol I was a bit scared .. I am still applying for jobs all over the place with no real luck ... I am still stopping at my sons grave at least 3 or more times a week and cry .. I just cant not go there .. I miss him so much .. I am thinking about taking my LPN .. I know if I keep going to school I will become a proffesional student , It would take me a year then Id be 48 when im done .. I guess thats not too old ..I am very happy that you all care so much .. I care about all of you as well
I wish we all could meet and have some kind of retreat lol that would be amazing ...
April, Judi, and Bosom ... miss you all so much
xoxoxoxoxo
Lisamarie
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Saying, "I really really enjoy smoking" is your brain telling you that you enjoy the flood of dopamine that you get everytime you smoke. Dopamine is the "I feel good" neurotransmitter in your brain. That is your brains addiction to nicotine talking but you are stronger than the nico-demon.
My offer for a free PDF copy of my book, "How to win at quitting smoking" is still open to anyone on this list, just send me a PM with your email address. no strings, just want to help.
I also have a web site now with some short videos on making a plan, preventing relapse, weight gain etc at www.VJSleight.com
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I was at least trying to cut down on the Sigarets but friend of mine arrive yesterday we sat down remembering our past, how happy we were just couple of years ago, and a smoked half a pack. I know it's terrible! I tried chantix, electronic sigarets, patch, tobacco gums! Tothing worked for me. I can't say I enjoy smoking!! No!!!! The other way ! Every time I smoke I hate myself because this little white disgusting thing can control me. I have stage 3 and I understand it's No joke and still smoking! Every time I smoke I say- it's my last!!!! I'm just tricking myself. Tomorrow my first infusion so I think -oh I'm stressed that's why I smoke, and every time I find an excuse for myself just to have another sigarette ! Shame on me! I want to have at least one non smoking day!!! But can't control ! I'm 38 and my daughter is 19, she is begging me to stop! My daughter is everything my life, my happiness , my inspiration ! But this stupid smoking habit doesn't leave me alone !!!!
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Let go of the shame and the guilt. These are common emotions for smoking. I've been there and so has everyone else on this list. I had been quit for 3 months when I was first diagnosed. I made it through radiation without smoking but relapsed during chemo. It took me three more years after that before I was finally free. Shame and guilt just keep you wrapped up in smoking.
Instead blame the tobacco companies who have manipulated nicotine in cigarettes so that each puff is an injection of free-based nicotine, a highly addictive substance and they have made cigarettes to be as addictive as possible even in the sensory pleasures of how it feels in your hand, the taste of the smoke--they have manipulated all of it.
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Ruska - as we've all said from time to time, you have to be mentally & emotionally ready within yourself. It can't be because of your daughter or anyone else wants you to quit. It has to be the right time for you. But VJ's right - no point in beating yourself up. I was able to set a goal for something I really wanted with a timetable - a cruise - and I could literally "see" the money I was saving towards my goal. I counted my quit days in dollars as much as cigarettes.
I didn't hang out with smoking friends for several months. I quit drinking for awhile because that was one of my triggers. I refused to go on car trips of more than 30 minutes - another real trigger. I quit smoking in my house first. Then two weeks later I quit smoking in my car. By the time I started the Chantix I was only smoking on the front porch. After trying to quit numerous times over the years, this time I only cheated once - when I was stuck in traffic for an hour I rolled the window down & had a few puffs. Every time I wanted to smoke, I tore out of my house & walked around the block. I don't know where you are, but in Houston with 100 degree heat & 100% humidity, it sure took my thoughts away from smoking. I immediately had my carpets & curtains & upholstered furniture professionally cleaned - no way was I going to pay for that twice. I had my car detailed - and oh the guilt of even considering putting smoke back in the car. I washed every single thing I could and either sent the rest to the cleaners or gave it away to Salvation Army. And I ate at least 3 tons of sunflower seeds in the shell for the repetitive hand to mouth motion. Think about it - pick up seed, hand to mouth, insert seed, crack off shell with teeth, hand to mouth to remove shell, chew seed, start over.
Going through chemo is NOT fun. Good luck tomorrow & please check in.
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Welcome radtk018! Good luck on your journey on both fronts. Maybe you and Ruska can join up. Both of you are starting your treatments and the timing to plan your "quit" date is perfect. But is something that you plan on your own or together as you will know when to quit. Time and time again I tried and finally after the upteenth time, I did it.
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Hooray - Bosum. So glad to see you checking in. Hopefully we haven't made you feel guilty. Anyone that jumped on my case when I was still smoking was automatically nixed from my friend list.
My long time BFF died in 2005 of pancreatic cancer. We had traveled everywhere together and never met a drink we hadn't tried or dance we hadn't done. Her grown son (45) was in town today from his home in Hawaii. I sort of inherited him when my BFF died since there was really no one else. (anyone w/grown sons knows that means I have to send the socks & underwear at Christmas). He came to see all of his guy friends & go to a couple of pro ball games and didn't bring his wife this time. We had a great Mexican food lunch and off he went to hang w/the guys. I might see him again Monday before he flies out, but these are all his best buds since they were teens, so not likely. Anyway, my BFF lived 4-1/2 years after the cancer surgery, but there was nothing he could do to convince either his Mom or me to quit smoking. I reminded him today we would have happily kicked anyone who pushed us about it in a very tender place.
BTW - I go for eyes. Just keep moving forward. When you least expect it, someone will pop up. Do let us know about the calcium reports.
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Still trying to quit ,.... One day before my first chemo which was on Wednesday , I promised to smoke last cigarette and never again! Guess what?! The very next day right before the chemo I smoked again! I don't know what to do?! I used to smoke a pack a day, now 3-4 cigarettes, but I want to stop!
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Ruska - glad to see you back. Bosum is right. If you've gone from a pack to a couple, you've made progress. And while we don't by any stretch of the imagination wish your chemo is awful, it may put you over the top to your goal. My chemo daze were truly the only time I never thought about wanting to smoke.
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Well, well, well. You girls make me smile. Especially you Bosum. You say that you hope to come to this site one day smoke free and you will when you are ready. But more importantly, is why you make me smile. Even though you go through the guilt of not quitting, you are here encouraging others in love issues, and trying to give up the little devil. God, I love it. And one day you will be the person who has quit and continues to support all those in the throes of quitting. I was at a girls weekend and the usual smokers were there. Funny thing, one quit many years ago but is a social smoker. The other is just a social smoker who supports her sister-in-law in smoking. The sister-in-law quit for 10 months and went back. She asked me how I have been smoke free which led to a little conversation. Basically, it came down to the weight gain - from a woman who is 5' 8" and slim as a cigarette. I too told her that this was my biggest fear and did gain the weight. But here almost 5 years later, I've almost lost all of it. But the fearful thing I heard from her was that she has COPD. That was also a big fear for me and didn't want to run around with an oxygen tank.
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I have to do this is two posts as too much slows the typing. For me, at any time I was told that I had COPD I would have quit right there. She said that after three weeks the cough and the raspy voice all but disappeared. But the weight gain through her. But God love her, she is going to try again. I sat there amongst all the smoke and said to the group that "if I held the cigarette the next move would be to see what it would be like in my mouth". I said I can't go there because I would be right back. I can't even fantasize about it. I'm a smoker who chooses not to smoke. For everyone trying to quit out there, remember it is harder that quitting heroin (so I heard). It is a disease and you will conquer it just like each and everyone of us is conquering cancer.
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Right on Judi - I am a smoker who has chosen not to smoke. I'll always be a smoker. Hopefully I won't smoke again. I feel more secure saying that as more years go by - 8 years now. I will never be able to have just one. (oops, except at my big 80th B-day party somewhere on the East coast, to be determined, with all you lovely ladies. Luckily that's a bunch of years away) And 'so it goes', and we're making it, day by day.
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" I am a smoker who has chosen not to smoke. I'll always be a smoker" This sentence describes me as well! Judi, no way I could "hold" one either. I smelled my co workers pack last week and it smelled great to me..LOL
Bosum, you will have your "aha" moment! I promise. You too Ruska...it will just finally happen if you keep trying! You are doing pretty well considering how stressful chemo is!
For me it was the radiation treatment. I just could NOT bring myself to go to treatment and smoke at the same time. It was the catalyst for me. I was able to successfully use an E-Cig and the patch and even gum sometimes to quit. Was it easy? Hell NO! It was one of the toughest things I ever did. I smoked for 45 years. I was a kid when I began (12 or 13) and I had a helluva time saying goodbye. But, every single day I don't smoke is helping me to not only be healthier but to save a LOT of cash! After both my husband and I quit, we save OVER 700 bucks a month. Yup, you read that right. That is a LOT of money ladies.
Hugs..have to run am at work as always!
Thinking of you Lisamarie xoxo
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Morning ladies. Looks like "we are all smokers who choose not to smoke". Love it. April, you are so right about the cash but it was mind staggering when you put it to paper (or computer) how much you save when 2 stop smoking. I don't know how much smokes cost in the States but here in Ontario average pack is $10 up to $13.50. Now doesn't that sound like a smoker when you say "pack". Smoking for any length of time but smoking 40+ years is liking losing your best BFF. I love what both you, April, and MT saying about quitting. MT don't worry .... we will meet for that smoke when we are 80. I just can't wait!
Yes LisaMarie, where are you? Hope all is o.k. Bosum and Ruska ... hope you day is great!
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Ok ladies this is the 3rd time I am trying to post , I just lost it all 3 times .. UGH .. computer today
OK Ruska .. smoking 3-4 a day is a big accomplishment .. keep trying and soon you wont need them .. I held onto the morning smoke for a nit then one day I said nah .. so best of luck ... I had more to say but i kept loosing it so making it short and sweet.
Bosom , you are an amazing insiration and you will get your aha moment .
Judi i understand the COPD and the weight gain . they just told me I have COPD and I went from 105 to 136 quitting and now im steady at 126 ...lol
Minus .. I am sure smoking a cig and drinking a beer at 80 if im here xoxoxoxo
April , I cannot stand the smell of anyone who smokes .. it makes me crazy .. but if I smell the smoke in the air I am like mmmmm ..
Anyway we all have our things ..
I am so sorry like I said I had wrote a lot more but just not feeling like doing it a 4th time ..
Me I am okay still depressed .. I got to cemetery a lot and cry , but then If i dont go I feel guilt and cry .. I just dont know what to do anymore .. xoxoxoxo
Lisamarie
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Lisamarie, I agree with Bosum 100%. It is the single most profound loss you can experience. It will take time. No one expects you to be yourself for a while sweetie. It is just not something you can let go of. This was your child, not an old favorite auntie who died at age 95! It screws up the natural balance of life when our children go first. You are doing fantastic as far as I can see. You are posting and you are grieving. That is exactly where you should be at this point in your grief. HUGS and know we are here for you! xo
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LisaMarie, Bosum and April have said it all. Grieve all you want until you can grieve no more!
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Yes to all LisaMarie and hugs to you. I do like the possibility of a grief counselor or psychologist - especially if you don't have anyone close who's good at listening. It does help to talk & remember, as you've already found at the cemetery. And I hope you know we will always be here.
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Bosum, you can do it. When you quit for good you will understand why we say we "enjoyed smoking". When you smoke you don't enjoy it but when you quit, you miss it. You miss all that goes with it but, in all honesty, you hate the smell, etc. Enjoy the e cig .... you are getting there!
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