Stop Smoking Support Thread

1372373375377378440

Comments

  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 13,355
    edited August 2015

    Judi - hope you are feeling better. Isn't it weird getting used to retirement? I can't figure out how I ever had time to work, and I worked until age 68.

  • JudiH
    JudiH Member Posts: 1,168
    edited August 2015

    Hi MT, yup I'm loving retirement (picture Kramer from Seinfeld saying this). It is weird getting used to because I'm still trying to get everything done in such a short time and there is no need. But, I honestly don't know when I found the time to work. Plus, I love the fact that if I want to travel then I can. Just been asked if I want to go to Bangkok in October. Beautiful opportunity but I have to wait until after I have my mammo and then it is what if. What if they want to do another mammo, and you know the other what if. Plus, we have to get new windows in the house and are travelling to Florida mid-November and not coming home until mid-January. So, lots to think about. How are you feeling? I'm not considered a "lurker" on this site. Warm weather keeps me busy so not posting much. But as always, I'm considered a "smoker who just has chosen not to smoke". Yippee!

  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 13,355
    edited August 2015

    Not to answer politics either - but no. I'll catch the highlights in the newspaper - if there is anything worth reading.

    Judi - so have you rented a place in FL for the winter? What town will you be close to? There are lots on neat BCO ladies in FL. How long is the Bangkok trip? i agree w/Bosum. I think'd I'd go & schedule the mammo when you get back. If it's good news - hooray. If it's worrisome, what's a couple of weeks & at least you'll get the trip first.

    I too have to get new windows - literally before they fall out. I had it on my list for last fall & last spring, but somehow neither happened. Fall is out. My BFF and I are going on a leaf cruise out of Boston in October so there goes my window money. I decided I owe myself a treat for the last 3 years of cancelled vacations (Alaska, NYC, San Francisco, Hawaii) and October is the first year anniversary of her husband's death, so she shouldn't be sitting around the house.

    LisaMarie - sending extra hugs.

  • JudiH
    JudiH Member Posts: 1,168
    edited August 2015

    Wow, you girls are just too "fantastic". The enthusiasm to travel to Bangkok is unbelievable. I have little too faith ..... don't want to get sick. But both MT and Bosum are soooooo right - WTH, EH? Anyways, will know tomorrow when I get the window quote. MT, you deserve a vacation. It sucks when vac gets cancelled due to "C" but you go and enjoy yourself. Bosum, I was just out of things to say with so much going on but I feel grateful that you understand. Anyways, waiting for my pizza so I'll post later.

  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 13,355
    edited August 2015

    Judi - oh pizza. I'm so envious. That's one thing I rarely get anymore living alone. If I ordered a pizza, I'd eat the whole darn thing.

    Bosum - how exciting. Hmm - where are you going? A movie might be different than bowling or sailing. Would a sports bra work?

  • april485
    april485 Member Posts: 1,983
    edited August 2015

    Have fun on that date Bosum! Behave yourself with that sexy bra...heheheh! (just kidding)

    Happy

  • JudiH
    JudiH Member Posts: 1,168
    edited August 2015

    Bosum ..... head out to Victoria Secrets .... oh la la! Have fun and enjoy!

  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 13,355
    edited August 2015

    Bosum - so the dates tonight - Friday? It just occurred to me that i don't even have a dress to wear should I have a date. They're pretty much all gone except for 'that little black dress', which is REALLY outdated, and a couple of long skirts. Now dresses are back in style, and while I love the ones on the rack, they really are too young for me. Not to young for what my head tells me is ME, but too young in the mirror. Oh well, nice slacks? We're living vicariously through you, so hope this guy is a reasonable conversationalist, doesn't chew with his mouth open & you have a great time. Would it be too much to hope for a guy that can dance?

  • lisamarie68
    lisamarie68 Member Posts: 971
    edited August 2015

    Bossom How exciting , I hope you found a Bra and something amazing to wear. I am praying that you have an amazing date with that amazing man .. xoxoxoxo

    Minus , and judi I know what its like to need things done around the house and not have the money .. and I also know that no vacations are not fun ... I love Florida Judi hope you like it too ...

    Me I am still moping around mostly .. back with the man ...and he seems so much better but we all know that can go well for a little bit and go sour again .. his mom knows now and she had a talk with me as well as his sister so I am hoping with him telling his family that will make it a little better but most of all he has been supportive and very caring .... I need the Love right now

    just for today i choose not to Drink or Smoke .... so that is a good day

    Hope all you ladies have a great weekend ...

    Love and Hugs to all

    xoxoxoxoxox

    Lisamarie

  • JudiH
    JudiH Member Posts: 1,168
    edited August 2015

    LisaMarie .... good to hear from you. Do what is right for you and only you. If it feels good to be with BF right now, then it is what it is and probably is good. Just take the time for you to mourn, find yourself and enjoy what life has to offer. Never ever beat yourself up.

    Bosum, here's to the new bra and dress - I'm clinking my wine glass so you know that I'm happy for you.

    MT, I hear you on the clothing. Yesterday, I took out clothing that I haven't had on for years and years. Pains me. I look at the dresses/shirts and think "wow, I really like that". But in all honesty, I haven't had them on in 10 years plus. What a shame. I look at how much money I spent on those clothes but they are really outdated. I mean "shoulder pad" style. Ha, ha. I felt like the ladies on "Dynasty". Just said I felt, not looked.

    Well ladies, enjoy your night. I'm still wondering what I'm going to do but up early in the morning. Going to look for windows.


  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 13,355
    edited August 2015

    Judi - do you mean like MS Windows? Eeek. I'm never giving up "7". I know what we're all going to attempt - just for today I will not smoke.

    LisaMarie - I agree w/Judi. He may be obnoxious, but it he's supporting you emotionally right now, take what you need.

  • JudiH
    JudiH Member Posts: 1,168
    edited August 2015

    Morning MT. No, I mean windows for the house. They are just builder grade and can't withstand our harsh Canadian winters when we do have them. I have no ideal now about MS windows as I have a MAC computer and I don't work anymore so no access to MS. But you are very funny. I even had to reread my post so I knew what your were talking about. Yup, I can't believe that I will be coming up in December 5 years smoke free. I never thought in a million years that this would be me. I always imagined me as the old lady (humped over but not in a wheelchair), standing outside in the freezing cold, lighting one cigarette after another. By God, I'm so glad I don't have to keep visioning this for me!

  • april485
    april485 Member Posts: 1,983
    edited August 2015

    Wooohooo Judi on 5 years smoke free!

    Lisamarie, you do what is right for you as others have said. If that involves being back with the man right now, do it! xoxo

    Bosum, hope your date went well on Friday!

    MT, I love that you said " Would it be too much to hope for a guy that can dance? " LOL...and the answer is Yes, that would be over the top in terms of wishes from where I sit. Have never had a man who even remotely liked to dance and I love to dance so...

  • april485
    april485 Member Posts: 1,983
    edited August 2015

    Happy

    I hope he calls you too Bosum!

  • JudiH
    JudiH Member Posts: 1,168
    edited August 2015

    Bosum, so sorry to hear that your date was o.k. Maybe passion comes with time, just saying. I know with my dh it was instant passion but I thought I would just give it time and see where it leads. Seventeen years later and we are still together. However, he did say to me that there would be "valleys and peaks in the relationship". Ha, ha I just said to him the other night "when's the valley going to meet me". All kidding aside, he is a good man and I couldn't imagine being with the other's that I had "instant passion". Had those and they sure didn't last. Good luck on your quest for love and happiness, Bosum. You deserve it.


  • lisamarie68
    lisamarie68 Member Posts: 971
    edited August 2015

    Bosom , I soo hope he calls you back .. I wish for you to find Love and Happiness ...'

    Thank you ladies for understanding me .. and loving me

    had a so so day trying to manage one day at a time .. still not smoking or drinking so that part of my life is great

    xoxoxoxo

    Lisamarie

  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 13,355
    edited August 2015

    Bosum - Love the reports. Definitely go for a 2nd date. I actually got engaged to a guy once who had everything I wanted except the passion. Lasted a year & I had some fun times & went some fun places before I cut it off. You don't have to commit just yet & you can fix the wardrobe. But yes, go out with the holey jeans & pony tail too. Date them all for awhile. Why not? You earned it, you deserve it - and most of all, that's what the guys would do. Just allow yourself to have fun. But you never sent the bra report. Did you haunt Victoria's Secret?

    Off to water aerobics. I don't want to go, three times a week i don't want to go, but I need to keep the range of motion in my arms if nothing else. More later.

  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 13,355
    edited August 2015

    April - as for dancers..... Before I married my second husband I made him promise that he would take me dancing at least once a month and that he would take dance lessons. We were married 20 years and I think we went dancing twice. Of course the lessons never happened. So of course my son never really learned to dance and "hates" it too - or at least he won't even dance w/me at weddings. Sad.

  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 13,355
    edited August 2015

    LisaMarie - hugs & love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Day by day girl. Treat yourself gently.

  • JudiH
    JudiH Member Posts: 1,168
    edited August 2015

    Bosum, you are just too funny. Listen to MT, she is very wise. I would do exactly what she recommends. I know the passion attraction is fun and get the mojo going but sometimes it's the quiet ones that we got to watch out for. Go out and have fun. Who knows what will happen. MT, my dh loves to dance .... just not with me. He thinks I dance like "Elaine" on Seinfeld. Ha, ha, what does he know. LisaMarie, good to hear that you are not smoking/drinking. It is so hard not to reach for things that are familiar to us but you are one strong puppy. Just take the take to grieve and be yourself.

  • JudiH
    JudiH Member Posts: 1,168
    edited August 2015

    Oh yeah, Bosum, did you buy a bra or go "commando" on the top?

  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 13,355
    edited August 2015

    ooo la la - commando!!!

  • JudiH
    JudiH Member Posts: 1,168
    edited August 2015

    NEVER false advertising Bosum. Don't you just love when we can find stuff in our overcrowded drawers and end up looking great. Man was probably ogling you like you wouldn't believe!

  • VJSL8
    VJSL8 Member Posts: 486
    edited August 2015

    For me when there was instant attraction, i would run the other way because these guys were never good for me. I always liked them more than they like me and it felt like I had to "chase" them to get their attention.

    When I met Joe, it wasn't love at first sight, it was immediate "like". I really liked him and I also knew that he was the kind of man that I could fall in love with--he still had to prove himself that he had the qualities I wanted (which he has over and over again). Plus I never felt that he wasn't as into me as I was into him. He shows me everyday how important I am to him. Passion fades over time but loves grows.


  • april485
    april485 Member Posts: 1,983
    edited August 2015

    Amen VJ! I married the bad boy the first time around. I thought he hung the moon and the stars but his real passion turned out to be vodka unfortunately. I stayed married to him (he is the father of both of my kids btw) for 29 years (27 of them with him and 2 separated) but this time around, I married the sweetheart. He is so sweet and kind and loves me unconditionally and SHOWS me that every day like VJ said. The passion grew after a while and he is a much more considerate lover than my ex ever was and man oh man that makes a girl very very happy! LOL...trust me, the good guy is the one you will NEVER regret. The bad boy? Eh, fun while it lasts but in the end...not so fun and not so much.

  • JudiH
    JudiH Member Posts: 1,168
    edited August 2015

    Amen VJ and April. Couldn't have said it better. Fun is fun while it lasts but nothing beats where love grows.

  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 13,355
    edited August 2015

    I have to agree with VJ, April & Judi. But i sure know where Bosum is coming from. Oh those bad boys are tempting. When I was in college out of state I was sort of a local band groupie. The mother of one of the guitar players lived not too far from my home & he came to take me out when I was home for summer vacation. Remember... this is the early 1960s and I was raised in a paper bag. My Mother said, you're not really going out w/him are you - and I said of course (and of course we know everything when we're 19 or 20). Lovely dark Italian eyes & lashes, tight, tight black pants, zip up ankle boots, pompadour hair (think James Dean or early John Travolta), black leather jacket, neck chain, tons of shaving lotion - and oh yes, he was driving a van with the band's name & logo painted all over both sides. I thought my parents were going to have a heart attack. Funny, I can't even remember now where we went. Probably in to San Francisco.

    VJ - good to hear from you. Glad you're still enjoying the company of that lovely man who took you on the cruise. Any summer vacation plans?

    Thinking about Bosum's bra dilemma, I opened a drawer to check & I'm sort of afraid I got rid of all my bras. I've been wearing compression bras for truncal LE for over a year now. Surely I wasn't so stupid as to give them all to Salvation Army? I'm thinking maybe I hid them in the cedar chest? OK- a mystery.


  • JudiH
    JudiH Member Posts: 1,168
    edited August 2015

    @#d out. He realized his gravy train was over and he was not too pleased. There is a lot more to this story but that's the shorten version. We all have had one, eh? Yes, one must keep their bras .... I got so used to the "Aaah" bra that I have finally realized that they are crap. So now to clean out that drawer. See if I had a smoke, I could do this all so easily but now, not so easy!

  • minustwo
    minustwo Member Posts: 13,355
    edited August 2015

    Yes, it would be much easier with a cigarette. But we'll forge ahead. How could we lapse with LisaMarie leading the pack? LisaMarie - still sending continuous hugs.

    Won't we all have fun trading bad boy stories when we meet for my 80th B-day in 10 years.

    Edited to say - I thought 70 sounded incredibly old, but now I think I'm getting younger as I gradually recover from all the BC treatments. Maybe 80 won't be old either.

  • JudiH
    JudiH Member Posts: 1,168
    edited August 2015

    MT, I'll be there. Funny how we age, we think our age is young. Sounding a little like Benjamin Button but loving it. 80 is the new 25!