Stop Smoking Support Thread
Comments
-
LisaMarie - Hang in there. And remember - IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. This guy is a user & someone who loves loading guilt on you and trying to manipulate your life. You're right, no reason to feel sorry for him at all. Can you maybe get on your son's cell phone plan so that you can totally cut this guy off?
0 -
LisaMarie, listen to MT! She is so right. Before reading her post, I had similar thoughts. The old BF is old news. He thinks by using old tests/pics, etc., it will get you to pay attention. The man needs someone else to abuse (and I say that so sadly but it will happen). LisaMarie, you are a wise woman and you know the signals but he almost had you believing them. What a sad story. As our deal friend MT says, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT He only knows how to make it your fault and then you will feel sorry and go back. But the vicious cycle starts all over. Ladies, please exec use any typos but I've had two tequilas. I had an mammogram done today but no ultrasound. I LOVE THIS TECH! She said it doesn't look like anything and this radiologist would have insisted on the mammo if it required it. Said no diff from the last mammo. Thank the lord!
0 -
Judi Woo Hoo on this thread too. I'm so glad the news looks good.
LisaMarie - I forgot to mention, I am on my son's cell plan. They are going to have phones anyway and it was much cheaper to add me as a third phone on his plan than to continue with my own. You might check it out. It you got a new number, you could give it only to people you want to talk to and - whiz - he's gone.
0 -
Morning! Thanks MT for the whoooo! One down and one more to go. I see the thoracic surgeon next week on the 30th to find out the results of the CT scan and what he wants to do with them. Then I meet with the family physician on April 7th. I'll be glad when this is all done!
0 -
High five Judi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So happy that all is well on the boobie front. Now let's get you through the thoracic surgeon appointment.
I agree with everyone LisaMarie. Your ex man is toxic and he needs to find someone else to hurl his poison barbs at. He always tried to make you feel small. Any man who truly loves you would be SUPER supportive and protective of you right now after all you have been through losing your son. Shame on him. He is selfish and only cares about one person- HIMSELF!
Hoping everyone has a great day. Looking forward to a long weekend as we are off tomorrow for Good Friday holiday. I have a physical tomorrow with PCP and hope my numbers are good. Femara/letrozole, which I began in January is notorious for raising cholesterol. We shall see...
Hugs to all! xoxo
0 -
LisaMarie - you KNOW we all love you. Whatever you do, we will still love you. We're all just trying to provide support. Let us know if you want us to shut up.
Bosum is having lots of family problems so she is trying not to think about cancer right now. I hope she'll check in soon, but I do understand that she needs a break.
0 -
Minus , I could never be mad at any of you .. I love you all so much . I am sorry I don't check in much ... but as you all know my situation with trying to get any device to work is hard . so I figure if I turn my laptop on once or twice a week Ill be okay ... until I can afford to get a new one ..
Judi , I am glad that all is well and I will pray all goes well with the thoracic and the reg doctor .. I love all the support ... from all of you . I hope if you all need me I can support you as well ...
I feel bad for missing bosom and she is having a hard time . I wish she would talk to me if she needs ..
April , I know all about him and I know he is a manipulator . I hate that I feel bad ... its hard to get over someone and to feel good about yourself after so long of someone calling you bad names ... I am making progress .
Here it's sad also .. my daughter just had a beautiful baby girl and she is one month old and she says she does not feel attached to the baby ad wants to run away and have her freedom .. and not to mention she informed me she is abusing pills ... OMG and then I find out her husband is addicted to Meth .. and I am so beside myself . I went to a meeting and some nice women invited me to alanon .. I hope I find peace because I dont know what to do anymore. If I loose another child to addiction I am going to loose my mind ..
Besides that Happy Easter to everyone ... xoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxox
Love Lisamarie
0 -
Oh LisaMarie...you don't need anymore trauma. I'm so glad someone at your meeting invited you to Alanon and hope they will hold your your hand for real. Meanwhile - we're all holding your hand virtually.
I'm still on pain meds & my brain is fuzzy. It's hard to type so I'm only reading. Can't believe it's been 2 weeks in this damn sling. Not sure what I'll do if the doc on Tuesday tells me 4 more weeks instead of 2 more. Sigh.
Hope everyone is having a wonderful Easter and nobody ate too much chocolate. Back to bed for me.
0 -
LisaMarie, it sounds like you may need to step in on this situation and get temporary custody of your daughter's baby. Sounds like she is really depressed (may be post-partum depression which is very real!) and the baby's father is a drug addicted and not likely to be a good care-giver for the baby. Is your daughter down there where you are? Forgive me if I don't remember that. If she is, Child Protective Services should be called and they will likely pay you to take care of that child (food stamps and some other funding, not sure how much but enough to care for that child's needs) so please look into this. If the baby is in NY, then maybe you should return and get the baby. Either way, hope you work it out chica...remember, this is NOT your fault...any of it!
Minus, hope that you are able to get out of the sling soon. Hugs!
0 -
Judi - I've lost track but it seems to me you're waiting clearance on one more test? Keeping fingers crossed.
0 -
LisaMarie - I know you are hanging by a thread. And I know you have no money & no car & no way to ride to the rescue. Hopefully all this isn't supposed to be a secret? Could you talk to your other daughter about her sister's depression & the new baby? They're both up in NY, right? Or have you tried talking about options with your son? Most important - take care of yourself now so you can stay strong.
0 -
Hello ladies! Sorry I've been MIA but we had a severe storm up here and power outages everywhere. I lost power on Thursday evening and just got power back yesterday evening. It was cold, yada, yada, yada. I'm sure it's not news to some of you who may have experienced power outages. Anyways, I'm alive and the house is still standing. LisaMarie, OMG, I feel so bad. You may not be in a position to step in and take care of the baby but the baby needs you. April and MT have the best advice. Listen carefully. So, I do have one more appointment which is this Wednesday. Fingers crossed. Bosum, hope all is well!
0 -
LisaMarie - I seem to be in the minority. Maybe it's because I'm on pain meds. As much as it hurts, I don't think you personally should take off and get the baby. There finally comes a time when you MUST think of you first or you will continue to be tossed from pillar to post and be of no use to anyone. I'm hoping your other daughter can help. Even take the baby for awhile. Or your son. That said, I really don't know how you feel about where your own next meal is coming from, so I may be all wet. Is there a counselor at AA or Alanon you could talk to? Would it be useful if you went to spend a couple of days w/them? Will they pick you up since you have no car? Or send you the bus fare? But there goes your job & stability plans again. Sending hugs my friend for hard choices.
Judi - wow, that's a long time w/o power. Did you go to a hotel or do you have a fireplace?
0 -
MT, good advice to LisaMarie. It is so hard when you are not there to assist or see the picture on where you could help. Whether it be to lend a shoulder or advice! I have a propane fireplace so I was able to turn that on but it was not blowing as you need electricity for that. At night, a warm duvet and pjs did the trick. I also just wore heavy sweaters. But, that being said, I'm glad the outage didn't happen in January/February. How's the shoulder coming along? I know it's hard to not take lots of pain killers but it is wise! It will heal faster then you know it!
0 -
FWIW LisaMarie, I agree with Minus. Now is not the best time to put on your crusader cape and come to the rescue. If your other daughter can step in, then that might be all that is necessary. Right now, you have to concentrate on just you, as hard as that is. I was not thinking clearly when I wrote the other post because I got worried about the baby. At this time, it has to be all about you LisaMarie. Not about your kids and their issues.
Minus, thanks for bringing me to my senses on this. I just got worried is all. You are absolutely correct. LisaMarie does not need the added stress of taking in a child no matter what. Hugs and thanks for smackin me in the head (in a loving way xoxo)
Judi, glad you are well. Got a little worried about you! Good luck with the last doctor appointment!
Am at work and have to run. xoxo
0 -
MT and April, you are both sensible. I don't think she should take on the baby now but we know what it is like not to step in and take control. LisaMarie, listen to these two women!
0 -
Oh the dreaded urge to control, control, control. You all would have loved listening to me tell my son exactly how to make my bed two weeks ago. He finally said - hey Mom, who do you think taught me to make beds? Mind you, he got a ticket flew me home from SanFrancisco since I couldn't travel alone, unpacked, did the wash, went to the grocery store, spent probably 10 hours at various docs, etc. I expect I will be personally directing the scattering of my ashes even after I'm cremated. Sometimes i try really hard to let it all go, but it's hard.
So we just plop down on the sofa & light up a smoke and relax. Oops NOT. Just for today I will not smoke - even though I have to keep the sling on most of the time for the next3-4 weeks.
0 -
Bosum, last appointment tomorrow with the thoracic surgeon. One more worry night. I'm sorry to hear that you too are struggling with family issues. I think that is why I never had kids. I truly hope you get it all sorted out. I have always worried about my nieces and nephews but glad they are older now. Yes, I do love control and I always wanted to control their lives as well. I'm glad they have spread their wings. MT, careful where that son spreads your ashes. I hate to see where mine end up.
So, this has to be the worst day every. I woke from a fitful sleep and needed a smoke. I just wanted a "puff". I looked everywhere for the smoke and the lighter. It took a few minutes for me to realize that I'm a nonsmoker. I even went outside to look at the ashtray. Oh boy, this just never goes away!
0 -
Judi - yup - you got it, Thank heavens those momentary lapses don't happen too often anymore, but I still do have them occasionally even after almost 9 years.
Bosum - so glad to hear from you. I was hoping things were getting better with your son - and of course your own health. I do understand the need to take a break. We miss you. "call" if you need to vent or cry or laugh or....
0 -
O.K. ladies, met with the thoracic surgeon today. What a really nice guy. He was a bit slow on getting the info out and I just wanted to run from the office. Last time I was in a thoracic surgeon's office, I got the news on the big "c". So basically he said that the CT scan is a higher resolution of an x-ray and shows more. He said that if it was just a chest x-ray, it would show that I'm find. But, he doesn't think it is cancer but wants to follow-up in four months. Said it could be just a scar. He just wants to make sure and wants to do follow-ups for a couple of years. New program and lots of funding for this. The whole idea of this program is to catch lung cancer before it is inoperable. This way they can cut it out or do whatever is necessary. But he did reiterate "he didn't think it was cancer" but just wants to be sure. Really, I don't ever want to hear those words "cancer" again. This is what I get for smoking 30+ years a pack a day. Enjoyable but not so much now!
0 -
JudiH--so glad to hear that he doesn't think it's cancer and probably the only reason why he wants you to come back "just to make sure" is that you've had cancer before--over the years I can't tell you how many times I have heard that statement from a doctor as the reason to run more tests, more follow-ups etc.
0 -
Judi - more congrats from me. I know we all have residual fear now that we've had cancer, but "us smokers" have it in spades. My results were similar to yours and I took that as cause for celebration. WTH, it's good news. So you'll have additional CT scans down the road, but hopefully you'll be able to put all the worry behind until it comes to the next time.
VR - thanks for chiming in. I think you got it exactly right. How are you doing?
0 -
Oh thanks so much VJ and MT. This news makes me elated. VJ, I don't know if this doctor knew I had cancer as I explained it to him and he asked me where the cancer was! WTH, I was a little surprised. Maybe he was just confirming it with me.
Bosum, thanks goes out to you as well. Just to know that I'm thinking of you and hope your life gets better!
0 -
Judi < I am sooo Happy for you that I am dancing ...
None of us like the big C word .. and I am so glad that for now you dont need to listen to it .Minus .. sounds like you have an amazing son .Big Hugs
Bosom , I am so glad to hear you , but I am not sure keeping things in is the right thing to do .. I am just making suggestions... I love ya girl ...
April thank you for the information .
I know that I could take the baby temporary , but I really dont have anything to offer her . My daughter is here . I have been going to meetings like crazy and even found a second womens meeting . I do have a car now . My daughter got another car at tax time and they decided to see me the old car thats falling apart for 1000 making paytments of 100 a month .. (kids today are so different ) I dont think if my mom needed a car and i had an aold one that id sell it to her but these are the kids these days.. and with drugs and stuff guess they need the money . on another note she did go to docotor about he post partum and they put her on zoloft . I only know because my oldest daughter told me yesterday . the other thing is they moved into her husbands familys apartment right on the he same property of his parents .. and from what i have been told the parents take the baby most of the time ...they are very rich .. and im sure after a while if the two of them keep it up they will gain custody . I feel sad becuase i cannot afford to do anything .. on the other hand . Ill know the baby is safe . my daughter has not really spoke to me much in the past week ..
I will just pray for the best outcome .. I am trying to better my life one day at a time .. and I will get to alanon soon as I can .just gotta find the time to fit it in ... my CNA test is Saturday and I cant wait.. That will mean more money .. and hooefully better days ..
I love you all and I am so happy that you are always here for me no matter what .. and remember that Bosom .. no matter what we are going through , including smoking.. these amazing ladies are always here for us ... xoxoxoxo
Judi I am also glad you ahve power back .. im so sorry things are so crazy im all over the place ..
Minus , I sure hope that you are healing anf feeling better as well .. xoxoxoxooxo
Lisamarie
0 -
Sounds like good news for many of you.
Judi, am doing the happy dance for you chica! A most excellent visit it sounds like.
Minus, hope you are healing.
VJ, hope YOU are also healing from your wounds.
Bosum, you are in our thoughts and we are hoping that things get better for you too.
LisaMarie, sounds like you have a handle on everything and that once you get that CNA license back, you will be able to get a job paying a bit better and now you have a car. As for the kids charging you for it, I won't go there...just won't. It is a different mind set with the younger ones for sure. As for the baby being safe with his parents, that is a huge relief. Hopefully the kids will see that their children should ALWAYS come first. You my dear are very resourceful and found a way to stay sane, go to meetings so you won't drink, smoke etc and get a car and a better paying career path. No one could ask more of you than that! xoxoxoxo
0 -
Clap, clap, clap ... April, I love your advice to LisaMarie. Everything you send is so true. Ladies, thanks for the wishes on yesterday's doc's visit. Still concerned but I'm starting to think it is scar tissue. Remember when we used to clean and mix chemicals and run outside to get some fresh air (if you didn't I did it once - mixed chlorine with ammonium, hmmmm, hello there stupid girl) and I'm thinking I may have damaged my lungs along with some other chemicals during my work as well as the cigarette smoke. The doc did say one of the most important things is to quit smoking and when I told him I had and for how lung, he gave me the high five. I'm think if it was cancer in any way, he wouldn't be high fiving me!
0 -
Bosum, SO HAPPY THAT TODAY WAS GOOD NEWS FOR YOU! Sometimes, kind people just need it!
0 -
Bosum...FANTASTIC. Yes, I'm shouting. You really deserve some good news. Glad there's a bright spot in your life.
LisaMarie - Look at you go... You are so brave and so strong and so determined. We're all standing in awe as you navigate all the problems. Hooray for the car, but yes, funny the kids would charge you. Oh well, maybe that $100 comes with a guarantee to keep it running? LOL.
I read the new reports about smoking and pregnancy today. Looking back it's so amazing that when I got pregnant my OB/Gyn told me it was NOT the time to quit because I'd gain too much weight. And today the girls aren't even supposed to have a glass of wine or even a cup or coffee, let alone smoke.
0 -
Bosum - so glad you're comfortable enough to drop in occasionally. We've missed you. Thanks for asking about my arm. I was doing OK until I started the first in a projected series of exercises Wednesday. Pain later that day & night went from a steady 2-3 on a scale of 10 to a hanging 6. Yesterday I didn't do the exercise! Guess I'll try to be good and attempt it again today.
I've told my neighborhood friends that I'll try to play dominoes for awhile today. I think I can set up the tiles as long as I don't try to shuffle. I so clearly remember playing bridge for years when every player had a personal ashtray. I still have some of those dainty little things. Amazing that I have no memories of a table or linen or rug ever getting a burn hole. Twelve women in one small living room - all smoking. Eeek.
0 -
Bosumblues--that poem is "If" by Rudyard Kipling. I had to memorize it at one time for a class I was taking. It is one of my favorites:
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And—which is more—you'll be a Man, my son!
0
