Exchange City
Comments
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Trudy. I just would not combine the two procedures. It is often an insurance coverage-related maneuver to conserve costs. If your implants change even minutely after the exchange surgery, those very slight changes could change the positioning of your nipples. I doubt there is one woman on this forum who has not noted some change in the shape of her implants - some of us have noted a significant change from one to six months after the exchange. If your nipple is off kilter that will be a tough one to try to correct. Tell your PS you want to wait for three months at least. You are the first one I have heard of who would get the exchange and nips done simultaneously. Perhaps start a thread such as "Anyone Getting Nipples at the Time of Exchange?" and see what you come up with.
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Trudy - I can't tell you for sure, but I know that my PS tells me that I need a minimum of 3-4 months after the exchange before she does the nips. She says otherwise they may not be in the right place. Hope this helps.
Sue - I was wondering the same thing. Though I am much more comfortable, my implants are still more there than I wanted. I can still feel a bit uncomfortable. I am thinking that it will resolve over time. After all, I found that the TEs settled in and were much less uncomfortable just before I had them replaced. Hopefully the implants will do the same!
Yvonne - I am w/ you my dear. I had a discussion w/ my mother and my SIL this weekend and both said, "so you are all done w/ surgeries now, right." And I told that I was going for nips. They both seemed surprised that I would need to go for the next step. Fortunately my dh said later, they would understand if they were going through all this. I just want to be as close to "normal" as I can get and to look as close to "normal" as I can. I know they are implants, but I think it helps me to deal w/ everything. It is never going to be "better" but I plan to get used to the new kind of different if I can. And feel free to vent away any day! How's things w/ your dh and his retirement?
I love it that most of us have pictures. Even those of us technically challanged! It took me almost an hour to change my picture!
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I sometimes wonder if I am ever going to be normal like I heard recently "normal is a cycle on a washing machine" man sometimes maybe I would like to be "normal " again or maybe a washing machine. okay I do know that I will have a new "normal"...I just can't wait until I feel okay again...I also try not to vent because I feel like no one can understand truely how I feel..sometimes they just want to fix it or tell me what I should do...like exercise to make me feel better...or read a book..or what ever they tell me and thing that used to help do not any more..I am so thankful for you ladies here...I can vent and not only do you know where I come from but sometimes to my surprise you have gone or are going through all of it with me....I am thankful and a tear comes to my eyes when I think of all you have done...sometimes when I feel bad I just come here and read and thank you all without even typing...
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Traci - Welcome to Exchange City. When you meet with your PS, ask for details re: your expanders: The mrf name [usually Mentor or Allergan] and the Style No. Ask your PS if he uses Mentor or Allergan implants [or either] and ask what size - style and # of cc's he plans to use. Write all of this down. Tell him you have heard that projection is difficult to obtain with reconstruction and you would like to have as much projection as possible. With this info you are a little ahead of the game.
Deborah
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TRUDY: As someone who tattoos nipples, I can tell you that I never consider doing them until they are least 3-4 months old. The changes can be significant and the placement, being critical for a pretty and successful outcome, is too likely to change after a few months..
JUDY
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Hi all,
Well....I am "on down the road" and have called a halt to my fills (I think LOL). I am pretty big for my size and don't want to be too big. I am only 108 (soaking wet) and 5'2" and think I am probably at a full C. I want to end up at a full B or more a small C. My fills ended at 425 but here is my question...... one size is noticeable smaller than the other. My PS tells me that is something that will be addressed at the time of the exchange but I am a bit concerned. I am debating about calling him in the morning and getting an additional fill on the "smaller size". Please let me know your thoughts/experience with this.
Thanks!!
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Trudy my plastic surgeon mentioned doing my nipples at the time of exchange but I think that I am going to ask her to wait. I want them done but I want them in the right place. After all of this I sure don't want my nipples looking at the ground.
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Hi ladies
when I was on the previous page I thought I was typing my comments on my work perfect page but when I went to the next page I realized everything I typed was now gone : (
I'm glad to say I see most questions were answered so not going to go back through everything
But do want to mention I'm really glad to see all tehpix added, way to go ladies
Trudy I am with the others ask your PS to wait 4 months before doing your nipples
Sorry to say so many folks don't understand what we go through
even though I look somewhat normal on the outside and try to stay very positive it's still a emotional roller coaster at times
Yvonne, you poor gal all the trouble you have had with getting things to heal and they say your lucky
I guess we are all lucky because one good thing about this is it brought us all together
That I'm very greatful for
(((HUGS)))
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wbuggie
I have heard some TE setting back further and needing more on one side than the other to look even
in those cases I think they usually get 2 different size implants also because the same thing may happen with them also
Ask your PS about that being the case
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KMMD~~Your post left a lump in my throat--thank you so much for your honesty. I'm going to have my husband read it also, as your words are so wise and you've handled this issue so well.
YvonneB~~Please keep venting! I love thinking of this process as a new kind of different. My sister understands when I tell her it's hard to make people understand that life will never be "normal" again, but that's okay, and we'll deal with it. I still have nips and tattoo and fat grafts to go--just waiting for insurance to approve. I'm almost 3 months out from exchange, so I'm ready for the next phase.
tg33~~I also often read posts without replying just to get a dose of wisdom and support--it's good to know others are doing that too!
I agree with those who say it might not be wise to have nipples done at the exchange. I'm sure mine would be in the wrong spot after the fat grafts are done, as I have rippling that needs correction, so the shape of my implant side is going to change.
Off to bed--worked until 3 AM, got up at 8 to finish projects for noon clients today, so I'm wiped. Tol my DH that I just can't handle these hours right now, and I doubt I ever will again! Goodnight--Suzie
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wbuggie,
When going through the TE process, I was two different sizes also, but my PS made up for the difference with fills. I had 50 ccs more put in the right side. Since my PS overfills, I'm glad he did it that way so that the right side had a chance to stretch out with the extra amount before the exchange. Everything turned out very symmetrical.
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Bigapple09: thanks, boy you nailed it. That was a quote from my husband, I thought we could finally relax, chemo and surgery over, and you looked great, and you said you looked great. Said he just didn't see it coming. Yesterday we went walking and I said, I don't want to go through this, I want my old life back, my old breast back and none of this to happen. The look on his face was comical, for 2 seconds I think he thought he would have to be the one to tell me I can't have my old breast back!
When I told him, they warn us, this is the most common time for depression, when active treatments are over. He said, well, I don't remember that, wish someone had reminded me so I hadn't been blindsided. So, we've settled on me trying to keep some perspective, and him just understanding that I know I can't turn the clock back but to just listen as I work through this.
Thank you everyone this weekend. You've been great. And good luck to those up to bat and those on deck. They really ares so much softer and nicer. I don't want my PS to ever know how down I have been, she's so proud of how they came out and how they look I think she'd be crushed to find out I did anything short of walking around looking in the mirror all weekend (of course I did that too)
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Kmmd: I remember having two big questions after my mastectomy last August. One was: will I ever feel normal again, physically and intellectually? By the time two months had passed, I felt pretty good physically. It took two more months before I could focus enough to do all my legal work again (althought focus is still a problem). But my other question, will I ever feel normal again emotionally? will I ever have a day when I don't think about bc? hasn't been answered yet. If I couldn't come here and communicate with all you wonderful women, I don't know what I would do. Noone else understands, though DH comes closer than anyone. Not my so-called friends, not my co-workers, noone. The one who comes closest in this group, ironically, is my boss! His Mom had bc 20 years ago, and he obviously hasn't forgotten what he learned then. A great illustration of "It's a Small World after all": he was thrilled when he heard the name of my PS, because my PS had been his Mom's PS all those years ago! Everyone else just assumes everything is fine and everything is over...they either aren't interested or don't care anymore. Sigh.
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I'm glad to know that this pre-exchange anxiety and post treatment depression is normal. I went for my pre-op physical with my primary care giver last week and he asked how I was feeling about myself and my self image. Really I had been feeling pretty good about things but I just started to cry. He had me do one of those depression tests and I scored a 16 which is really high. He asked me if I had thoughts of hurting myself. I told him I just spent the last 6 months going thru hell to stay alive, I sure wasn't going to do anything to myself now. I've been having dreams every night about the exchange surgery. None of them are good. At this point my expectations are so low, I can only be pleasantly surprised at the results. I felt that I handled the cancer card pretty well thru this whole thing. I never expected to fall apart at the end of it. thanks for letting me know this is par for the course.
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I love seeing all your pix also......I changed mine.....this one is obviously pre chemo.......missing my long blonde hair.......so thought I could see it more often if it was here.
So I know that it seems never ending......but I had to make another emergency drive into the city to meet my PS.....who I was lucky enough to come on a Sunday..........another section of my scar opened up and the expander was pushing through again.........another in office minor surgery to close me up yet again......so sore again today.......but did learn some interesting news.......turns out that the sutures that were used during my replacement TE surgery have been recalled and there is a list of patients that have recieved them that are having problems.........I'm just happy to have some kind of an explanation to this whole saga.......the stitches combined with the seroma build up were just too much for my skin........so.........now hoping that I am on the road to exchange with no more problems........I am scheduled for a fill on Friday.......but we'll wait and see how the skin is holding together........good news is.........she thinks that even if we can't do another fill.......she is confident that she will be able to fit the 410's that I want 13.5 X 6.2......410mx's.......keep you fingers crossed that this will happen for me......I'm trying to stay positive........but I'll admit it is getting harder and harder.
I wish you all happy thoughts and healing physically and emotionally.......take all the time you need.........this is your jouney!
Cheers and hugs to all!
Jax
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Hi Everyone - I haven't posted in awhile because I also last week had a day where I couldn't stop crying. The hardest thing for me has not been my body image as much as my not feeling physically good. I don't want to jinx myself but I basically never get sick. My expander process has been harder than most and I have been either in pain or uncomfortable for at least a month. On the other hand, (and I'm now shedding tears as I type this), the women who go through chemo and rads have been through so much more and even though I haven't said it I draw strength and inspiration from you. But last week I just gave in to it because I also made an appt. for gene testing and the implications of that scares the sh*t out of me because I have a sister, a daughter and 7 neices. Well, I did need to get the family history for the gene testing and called my mom but she wasn't home and my dad (who is a retired steelworker who I don't normally confide in) was home and I just poured it out. He was so understanding. And the next day when I got home there was a message on my anserwing machine "Hi Peg, it's dad I just wanted to see if you were feeling better and if you were having a better day today" That just melted my heart and I guess one of those times where I have to say the new normal is pretty good sometimes.
Thanks for letting me get that out - because some of my old normal ( a million errands, laundry dishes etc.) hasn't changed, and I better get get a move on.
Peg
Best wishes and hugs to all the exchanges this week and for anyone not having a great day.
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JAX - You are going to be such a source of encouragement and inspiration to so many who come on these boards with seromas and other complications of reconstruction. You have handled these complications and you will be on the other side of it and you will be our poster girl for "all things are possible...just hang in there."...So you have to stick around bc.org for a very long time!!!
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Hey Deb.....and thanks for the kind words....I plan on sticking around for a long time......we all have our battles to fight.......I just look forward to a time that I can be more of help to others on here and not require so much damn attention for my own complications.
Cheers and hugs
Jax
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Peg - I have not had a primary care provider through Kaiser for years [since my friend and client is an oncologist with Kaiser, I just call her when I need something.] But I had been feeling so physically tired and lethargic...no energy....lack of motivation....that I selected a new PCP [not wanting to complain to my friend/doctor Carole] and saw this new MD last week. I ran through the litany of complaints about feeling like a slug....trying to work out at the gym and having no stamina. I was reminded by this MD that I have gone through the rigors of two surgeries in four months and the stress of being diagnosed with the disease itself. I also have felt so guilty about not feeling well and not wanting to really tell too many people this, because I know friends who went through chemo and rads and they might think I am just such a WEENIE with a capital "W"....
So girlfriend, I know how you are feeling. I am heartened to hear that your relationship with your father might have some rekindling of closeness and healing that you have not had for a long time...there is a reason for everything in my book and it is good he was there for you. We will get through this and be stronger for it.
Hugs to you and to all of you sisters feeling like you are living on the outskirts of "normal."....We will find a new "normal" and it will be a wonderful new life for us all...
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My exchange surgery is scheduled for May 8th. I am so ready to get these hard things out of me. I have not posted lately. I have been going through a rough time getting off the tamox. I feel that it has negated the effects of my antidepressants. I have also had a rough time at work!!
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Boy! I sure wish I'd been at the computer last night - so much wonderful support! What was it about this weekend that we all had such a hard time? I went to a friend's garden party on Saturday. I'd had a horrible night before - not sleeping (thank you Tamoxifen!) - and I'd really hit a wall. Well, I was doing fine 'til a friend/aquaintance (you know someone you see a couple times a year) came in. I'd heard she'd gone through the bc experience with TEs and just finished her nips. Well, she came over to me & gave me a hug and I just started BAWLING in front of about 25 women - many of whom I didn't really know! My friends who knew just looked at me and essentially said, "Why are you upset? You're all back to normal now, right?" Could have shot them right then and there....... I ditto everyone who says what fabulous friends we have here. No one really understands unless they've endured it - or had a close family member endure it.
This will be a better week for all of us!!!!
Hugs-Valerie
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Deborah - You made me cry again! But in a good way!
Skippyrcis - Glad you have your exchange date and sorry you have been having a rough time.
Jax- Hoping you continue to heal and stay healed!
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Oh Deborah, I'm just the same with the complete lack of energy. I have been getting out for walks, but even that takes a tremendous amount of effort. I have to go back to work on Wed., and I wish I could just extend it longer because of the physical fatigue but I know they won't go for that. After all, we're "all better" now, right?? Ugh. I even had one co-worker a couple days before my nip surgery, when I told her I was going to be out for two weeks said "Two weeks? What do you need to be out so long for?" I'm scared to death I'm going to make a major mistake (I'm a copy editor) and end up losing my job over it. I also feel like I've been through nothing compared to the women here who have had rads/chemo/tamox/herceptin, and I don't want to sound like a whiner. I just think that EVERYONE underestimates the recovery period -- both physical and emotional -- for all of us.
Peggy, that's awesome about your dad. How cool that something positive like that can come out of all this!
Sheila
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Thanks for the responses. I did just call my PS and he will be putting an additional fill on the smaller side. He is also addressing how to create some leavage. Skippykris.... I am so sorry you are having a rough time. Glad you are almost to the exchange date!!!
Wanda
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Also, looks like I too FINALLY have an exchange date of June 26th YAHHHHOOOOOO. It will be wonderful to not feel like my ribs are being crushed any longer.
Thanks
Wanda
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Gosh, there is so much going on, so many thoughts above I want to comment on, but I'm at work and pressed for time. I just wanted to share I love my body. It is a trooper. I've been off Tamoxifen for 2 days to prepare for my surgery next Monday, and I got my first period since December, when I started Tamoxifen. I cried, because I was kind of glad to have one more, and that my body is trying so hard to be normal, and next week, I'm going to take away its opportunity of ever being normal again by having the hyster/ooph. I strongly believe I'm doing the right thing, but my body feels like the "Little Engine that Could." I feel guilty.
Peg, I too, draw lots of strength when I think of the ladies who've had chemo and rads, when I'm having a bad day--I feel like I should have nothing to feel badly about, but as mentioned above we are all going through varying degrees of TOO MANY THINGS!!! Crying is good, ranting is good, talking is good, chocolate is good.
Hugs,
Karen
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skippyrcis & wbuggie - I have PM'd your exchange dates to Jean...
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So many of you ladies made me cry but it was a good cry
I hope someday others will understand what we are all going through
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Hi Jean - DH's first day of retirement today and he's doing okay. I'm still feeling like it is a surreal thing. (Man that has been a common feeling these last few months, LOL) It was nice to have a cup of coffee ready for me and I my car started and warmed up (Yes, warmed up...calling for snow again tonight...grrr)so - so far, so good! I'm keeping my Honey-Do list under wraps for now and seeing how that strategy works out! Kind of like child psychology I'm hoping!
You're so right Sandy....we are SO LUCKY to have met each other, even if only online! That is definitely the silver lining in this cloud! And deep down, when I'm not feeling sorry for myself I do know how lucky I am. When I read what some of you have gone through - chemo, rads etc., I do thank God for what I didn't have to go through and my heart physically hurts when I read some of your stories.
I'm with you Diane...my DH is the only one who comes as close as you girls do to understanding, and surprisingly my boss is the only one in my office that has been very compassionate. I think everybody else is scared they'll have more work to do, when they are already overworked!
Firni - ditto to all that you said! How the heck did we manage going through the initial stuff with our heads on our shoulders and then fall apart when things are "better".
Oh (((((((((((((((((((((((((Jax))))))))))))))))))))))))! You poor girl...you have just had a terrible go of this healing thing.....GRRRRR I am so glad that at least you have a reason for all this crap. It is easier to deal with if there is a reason, at least I think so. The whole unknown thing is way too scary in itself. You are such a great person...all that crap and you end with "Cheers and hugs"...I can't believe you girl!!!
((((((((((((Peg))))))))))) I understand the dad thing as my relationship with mine is certainly not the best...Love him and vice versa but we've never been close. It is wonderful that he made the effort to call and check on you. Genetic testing is pretty scary...I'm waiting for mine too. It is something I need to do for my 4 sisters and my granddaughter but I'm nervous about it too. My mom and I are going together and all my sisters want to come along and make a date out of it. We never all get together without the DH's and families so that will be a perk to get us through it.
Deborah - You need to be a writer!!! You are such a wordsmith...love living on the outskirts of normal...we are in the suburbs!
Must have been the same kind of weekend for a lot of us Val. Hopefully this week will be better!! Was there a full moon? LOL
Congrats on the date Wanda...countdown begins for you!
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for the gals having trouble healing there is a gal that posted pix on the forum and would like to know what your doctors are having you do to help things heal. She had some pix from March and her April pix look so much better but she had another tiny spot open up again. I didn't know if it would be anything like what some of you gals are going through. It might even be nice to see how things really healed for her in 1 month.
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