Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Today I went back to the surgeon after having a lumpectomy on 10/8. I was suppose to have started radiation 2 weeks ago, but had developed a slight infection in the incision as I was evidently allergic to the glue they put me back together with. They finally had to put in a couple of stitches to heal me up. Took out the stitches today and will start radiation Monday. Only have rads twice a day for 5 days. Guess it is a study that has been going on for 3 years and seems to be having as good results as 6 weeks of rad, or is it that I am almost 72 years old. Either way I am comfortable with the program. The next thing to come about will be the visit to the Onocologist. What should I expect there? After reading some of your posts, I am really puzzled. What about the vitamin D? I do know it was mentioned when I saw her for just few minutes right after surgery. I am a very active grandma and hope to stay that way. After getting over the shock of BC, I hope I can continue to have the positive attitude that you all seem to have.
Mostly I read about all of you and keep you in my prayers, but now I think I need a little kick in the b---- to keep me looking up. You all are supportive of each other, and it does my heart good to see the caring you all have for one another. I just had a school classmate call me today and tell me she has bad news from a mammogram, I had not shared my problem with many folks I know but now I feel I have to as she needs a shoulder and she doesn't have the internet to help her realize that there are a lot of us in the sisterhood and it's not so bad when we have others to talk with.
Hugs to each of you
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Good Morning Gals! You know, everytime I read your posts, I get tears in my eyes! You ALL are the best! I get so much comfort & encouragement from you!
I've been getting the Rads through that MammoSite Device...& after today, I only have to go back Monday & Tuesday, twice a day, & they will remove the device! So far no side effects, just uncomfortable with all the tubing & packing under my arm, & going around to my back! They hold it in place with that delightful mesh "bra," so they don't use tape! And my Sports Bra, keeps me trussed & bound!
I am so fortunate to be able to get the Rads this way....I am just fortunate that everything is working out well with me...And I wish I could just meet you all & give you a hug, for how supportive you have been, not only to me, but for all the women on this site! My breast cancer & treatment seems like nothing compared to what some of you gals have gone, through, & are going through! I thank God for all of you!
FLO......Glad to see you back...I hope some of the other gals can help with your pain, around that nipple! Have you googled it? Is there another Doctor to give you input?
And kayok .... Do you have the MammoSite Device like I do? Or are you just getting the treatment the typical way? That's interesting, that you get it for 5 days, twice a day like I do! Could you tell us more about it?
While waiting for my treatments, I have talked to so many women under-going Radiation....And so many with bigger problems than me...One gal is just 66, & she is refusing to have Chemo, after her rads....She has just had enough....Hers was also a "very aggressive" cancer, & she just had a lumpectomy! Her decision sounds so scary to me, because I just want the best for her, but you know, like she said, it is HER body, & her choice. How do you get over that fear of hearing you should do chemo? I read where so many of you have come through Chemo with such a positive attitude, & are doing fine...I only hope I could be so brave as all of you, if I hear I have to do Chemo...I AM 72, & wonder if that would have some input into deciding if that Chemo treatment would even benefit me? I know if I asked the Oncologist what she thought, she would probably be more on the aggressive side...for the protection....but how much longer would I have anyway, I wonder? My Surgeon said I wouldn't have to have Chemo...But she is sending me to an Oncologist...
Are more women choosing NOT to do Chemo now? At this age? Mine was not an aggressive cancer, with clear margins & nodes, but I know we think we should do everything we can to make sure it doesn't come back! I think I'm in line for Tamoxifen, so I read everything you say about that! I just feel my worries & problems are so tiny, compared to you gals...I love you all!
Jeannette
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I did Dose Dense chemo - total of 16 rounds. 4 of A/C, then 12 of Taxol and Herceptin. My tumor shrunk to nothing and then a lumpectomy with no node involvement. After long and hard search and discussion with family, I chose NOT to do radiation. It is one year since surgery and I have had 2 mammos with a stereotactic biopsy in May and calcifications on the other side. Last mammo ( and echocardiogram) was in November - clear - and I am to go back in a year for another one.
I also did Herceptin for a year, every 3 weeks. A zometa infusion once a year for osteoporosis prevention (avoiding pills), take calcium and vitamin D. I am er/pr negative, so no tamoxifen for me. Age does enter into the equation - I am almost 64 and figure I have a 20 year life expectancy. Quality of life is more important to me, since I am a widow and have to depend on myself for everything - transportation, food, cleaning, and finances.
Each of us can write our own chapter in the book of life. And each will be very different, with some similarities here and there. Exercise, diet and over all life style will also differ. Spirituality is a high priority for many, but not all. Isn't that what makes the world go round?
Hugs and Blessings for all, Nancy
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This is the MammoSite Device that I have! It was implanted during surgery on the 4th, & I started the "treatments" on the 9th. It is working very well, so far! It is inserted into the cavity that was left from the Lumpectomy, & about 1/2 of it sticks out, & is held in place under my arm, with that mesh wrap! Little "seeds" of Radiation are inserted into the "balloon" and stay for 8 minutes, then are taken out. A "machine" of some sort, slides them through the "chambers" into the tube. The balloon is filled with saline, & the seeds radiate all around the balloon, to hopefully kill any left-over cancer cells. I have a new "prototype" that is pretty new, & it should make it possible for more women to be candidates for this type of Radiation. Your cancer has to be small enough, & not near the skin or bone structure, & not the aggressive type, & from what I understand, your breast has to be fuller...
But I am amazed at how far we have come with treatments! There are web-sites that explain this further, but thought some of you would be interested! So basically this type of treatment takes 5 days, twice a day, & that's it!
So far, all treatments & tests have come back very positive, with the same results as the longer Rads treatments...If you have any questions, just post them....Have a fun day Gals!
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http://www.mammosite.com/breast-lumpectomy/view-a-demonstration.cfm
This is the web-site that shows the MammoSite procedure~ Hope this can help someone, with their decisions, pre-surgery! Jeannette
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And it is a good morning any time you spend it among friends.
Jeanettes: No MammoSite device. I have read about that procedure and when I asked, I will just be getting the same as boosts to the cancer area. My treatment is at Kansas University Medical Center and from the very first day that I saw the surgeon after all the MRI's, Mammograms, and sonia grams I was told that I was a very good candidate for this type of radiation. Maybe I have not asked enough questions. I do know that after some conference down in Fl. last month, that KUMC was one of the leading hospitals in treatment that others were hoping to using soon. Today I go for some scan before I begin rads next week. Once again I will ask more questions. The Docs have all been so optimistic for me that it is hard to doubt that they have the best in mind for me. Believe me I did ask, is this procedure for older women.
LIke you, we all want to stay as healthy as possible and I feel so blessed to have waited these many years for such a bump in the road. My heart goes out to all and love to you.
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Jeanette: Don't know where my mind is this morning. The procedure is External Beam Radiation which is a lot like MammoSite only not the tubes and such. Will see if I can't get more answers today. Guess I have had my hands in cookie dough too long to think of anything but good things.
Lots of kids and grandkids coming this weekend and all are looking for cookies.
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Good morning and a big WELCOME to kayok. I think the type of rads you are getting is what they used to do in the beginning. It works pretty well if you have a "light" case of cancer. They quit doing it for a long time I think and then found that reserving it for those with DCIS made sense -- works well, and does not take so much time, generally easier on the person. You do recover faster.
I need to run but will be back later. See you then.
Hugs, Jackie
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Good AM Jeanette, I think I meant this for Kayok!!! Sorry, confused as usual.
I don't know if treatment is different for ILC than for IDC... so my plan and remarks are for invasive ductal carcinoma....
1. If you want an impartial opinion about how much you would benefit from chemo you would ask your doctor to have a sample of your tumor tissue sent for an Oncotype DX exam. It is becoming pretty standard and Medicare does approve it. This is for Stage 1 or 2, ER+ women only. If you have positive nodes, it is a given that your will do chemo so the test is superfluous, but if you are wondering yes or no, it is excellent.
2. There does seem to be a movement away from widespread chemotherapy as the hormonals get better and better.
3. Spoken or unspoken, I think age plays a big role in deciding to give chemo. The younger you are the more likely you are to have it.
4. In post menopausal women who are ER+ it is likely you will be given an RX for an AI than for tamoxifen. Aromatase Inhibitors are more effective and have fewer serious side effects, but more quality of life complaints. My doctor said this drug is the MOST important phase of my treatment.
5. Your medical oncologist will be your main doctor. He/she will direct your treatment plan and it is they who you will see regularly. I see mine every 3 months. They will discuss chemo, tamoxifen, AIs, tests like Vitamin D, tumor markers (if they believe in them), follow up scans, etc. As my horrible year ends I plan to no longer see my surgeon and the radiologist and in 2010 I will only see my med onc unless something else comes up. Hooray!
Walking beside you
pam
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Jo...you are so right! Treatment techniques are changing every day! The info on the new rads technique was very interesting, though.
Alyson, is hubby still doing O.K.?
Gotta run. We have a dinner tonight with the golf group followed by a movie. Everyone have a good weekend.
Rita
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Kathleen,lovely pic of Peke, I had one very like that, and another, cream one, they must have been gone now over 15 years.....maybe even 20..Oooooo, that makes you feel so old when you can remember back like that. I bred the fawn one, and bought the cream. I know I'm in for a wait, they don't come to order.
Mellissa...WOW ..all those champions. I bow to your superiority. I wasn't too interested in showing, but did judge a bit now and then, so didn't make up a champion. Two people did make up 2 of my dogs though. We don't have many parti colours here, but I've always fancied them. I had a parti cream and white, lovely little girl, she only got to a year . I just found her dead one morning when I went to get them up.
Jeanette. OMG HOW did you let them near you with that contraption !!!!!?? I would have been over the hills and far away at the suggestion of it!!
I went for what should have been a normal routine blood test today. I have an extremely severe needle phobia, and its taken me THREE years of avoidance...I have made every known excuse under the sun... but had come to the end of the line, and knew I would have to go.I have been getting the evil eye from my GP every time I saw her, so today , after about 5 cancelled appointments I bit the bullet. I WILL NOT let them into the crook of my elbow, so slathered Emla cream onto a big vein on the back of my hand. I had it done here last time three years ago. ( that was the time I was sat next to a sink, which was under a window. I was trying to climb onto my chair, and into the sink, to get out of the window !!) I am really laughing now at the stupidity of myself, but it is an awful phobia ! Somehow the nurse talked me down, and I went ahead with it, but I was hyperventilating for about an hour afterwards.
This time the nurse said she wasn't going ahead if I wouldn't have it in my inner elbow, I point blank refused. She went muttering off to get a 'different needle' I was just a wreck by this time, hyperventilating again. My blood pressure was 165/104 before I set out, so goodness knows what it had got to by this time. She came back in, still nattering to me about 'not having anyone else about to help her' and 'did I want her to send me to the local hospital where there'd be help' I was thinking straitjackets by this time ! I am thinking by now the Emla would be less effective. I decided to tell her to just go for it. She did. I wasn't numbed up enough. The needle, for some reason, came out, I was absolutely beside myself. I could feel it go in, but I thought 'well, its in, thats the worse done', and it goes and pops out !! She said it was because I had been so upset that she'd gone for a smaller needle . She also said that I was the first person she'd never been able to take blood from, and she'd worked for the blood bank before this job, taking samples all day every day, for years. I remade my appointment, but I really doubt I will go back again for a long time.
I feel so mad now its all over. I had been building up to it for weeks, got the courage to go, then this happens, goodness knows what next time will be like...if she brings in someone to 'help' her, which to me means hold me down, I will walk out straight away. I can give jabs to my dogs, cows and sheep...no problem....but I just have this irrational, raging fear when its a needle going into me. I managed the whole 'bc experience' with just 1 jab, the anaesthetic jab before my double mast, I just got so lucky with an understanding surgeon, he took all bloods while I was out so I didn't need anymore....he put me a port in at the same time, not knowing if I really needed one or not (I didn't) but I don't know if I'd have dared to go back in again to have another op. I think I would have refused chemo, if I'd not got a port in, just no way could I let them stick a chemo needle in me !
Welcome Kayok, keep on posting.How many children and grandchildren have you got ?
Anyone else I have forgotten sorry, I have NOT had a good day !
Pam....Arimidex and old age I would blame, well, I do blame. I was convinced I would NEVER get old and creaky. I used to laugh at older people always moaning, always something wrong, but it happened to me ! Not nice.
Have a good weekend, I am just having a very quiet 2 days, a bit of painting, a lot of sitting down. I have just been on Amazon and finished my Christmas shopping off, lots of DVDs and books, predictable, but I cannot join the queues this year, my back just won't let me. I have to start my cards this w/end. I hate this job. I have about 10 people I write a letter to to pop in with their card, but I don't feel like it this year at all. i have a new printer, and haven't cracked how to use it yet, so will have to write long hand. I do wish I could understand electrics...just a little bit. By the time I get my printer sorted out it will have broken down and I will be back to square one ! If only I could buy the same model everytime it needs replacing. My DS ALWAYS tells me they're dead, then I go into my g/daughters bedroom, and there is my 'dead' printer, flying along !!!
Isabella.
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Isabella how big do mini pekes get? I have never had one and would adore one. I have looked at these breeders web site before when they had a litter and I think I remember $3200.00 for a mini.
I am so tired to night that I am done in and will check you lovlies over the week end.
Jeanette= very nice posting of interesting treatment- we live in the world of weird science!
Night , chooks!
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Good Morning! Thanks again for all of your input! Okay, now I am going to ask the differences in the Hormone Receptors..with the Oncologist....My cancer was both, ER & PR positive, which my surgeon said "was good!" But it will be either She or the Radiologist that refers me to an Oncologist, & I feel like I am kind of just DONE....I don't mean to complain, but I think this is all catching up with me!
Besides my Daughter just left to go back home to Orlando, & I am sad
I don't go in for treatments this week-end, but start again Mon & Tues, & it's during the last treatment Tues, that they pull the "Device" out. It is just uncomfortable...And we think it might be "slightly infected"...even though I have been taking antibiotics, so we just picked up ANOTHER prescription to take with it.... They said my body will try to fight this "invader" & it might get infected....My Husband has to clean & change the dressing around it today & tomorrow. I can't reach it...but it didn't bother him to watch the nurse do this yesterday, YEAH!
Maybe I am just depressed...Do you gals find that you STILL get moody once a month just like we did when we were girls? I do!
And Pam.....Thanks for that information! I wonder if I will have to take either? But I will do anything that helps protect me from getting cancer again....And like I whined about, I am just afraid of chemo, like I KNOW you all were...And YOU brave women are all my inspirations for continuing to fight this! But hopefully I won't have to go that route!
Hi Isabella....I knew about the MammoSite device before I went in for surgery...I had studied up on it all...I even saw one at the Radiologists pre-surgery...I listened to how it worked & was convinced it was the way for me to go, AND I was a "candidate" for the device! I trust both Doctors VERY much, and their teams, that work with this device! So I KNEW what I was getting before it was placed during surgery! And I am proud to be able to take part in this "newer" method of delivering radiation! I feel really fortunate...that "I am on the cutting edge of this advanced technology!" This is even an improvement over the "CONTURA" device, that has the same delivery method, but this one is "softer" & "fits" better in the place the cancer was removed from, & has a few more advancements in "placing" the seeds.
Anyway, besides me being blue, & can't find my "MO-JO" ...I am fine, Ha! I will be done by Tuesday afternoon, & feel so lucky that this procedure for Radiation took only 5 days, instead of 6 1/2 weeks!
You know, when you read all of these posts, YOU WOMEN really are amazing! YOU go through it ALL, & still keep your sense of humor, & can help so many OTHER women who are so afraid to go through all of this! I am proud to walk with you! Jeannette
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I'm sorry, I forgot to mention....The Radiologist Doctor, that came in to deliver one treatment, said that "Hopefully, some day, the typical Lumpectomy will be a thing of the past, & that new advances in Radiation technology & delivery will allow that "lump" to be treated in the breast...by reducing it & killing the cancer, therefore no need for surgery!" We really do live in a great era of advances..."Smiles!"0
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Boy those medical folks sure come up with some contraptions.
I can relate to the phobia - mine is not needles - it is height. I get quesy just watching someone on TV scaling something high!
Jackie - you are a saint! I don't know how you do it but your compassionate service to both people and animals is quite commendable.
Melissa from what I've read about Empress Pekes they must be under 6 or 7 pounds and they are expense because you can't breed them - you have to wait until one comes along in a litter.
Yesterday the medical staff at Loudoun Hospital threw a going away party for my sister - everything except the two cakes were homemade and I made a pig of myself. It was really nice.
This is only my opinion, based on absolutely no research or scientific fact whasoever - but we are lliving longer and longer so soon are lifespans may be in the 100's - if they can find something to restore our health (especially joints) I am definitely going for it. I suggest you all come along for the ride!
I am so grateful for my sisters here. I pray for only good things to come into your lives. I have never met so many caring, compassionate, loving and helpful people in my whole life.
GROUP HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hi Early Bird!
Bet it is cold in Colorado!
pam
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Thanks for the hug.....I truly enjoyed it. I too think many of us will and are living longer. I myself am going to be in my 90's at least before I give up....as will dh and we will stay home and take care of each other. NO nursing home for either of us.
I am claustrophobic and that is mainly what causes me some negative vibrations. Not fantastic with height either but as long as it is "safe" enclosed in airplane or whatever I can do that one.
Jeanette, I think there are lots of highs and lows just because during cancer and the txs. A time or two I just got such a strong sad feeling I nearly went numb. A couple of times I cried my heart out and several times in-between I was madder than an old wet hen. I just assumed I was missing the innocence I knew would never be back, but it was alot more than that. It was the whole thing -- and often you don't know when it is going to happen. Shows up for no reason that you can figure. As they say -- this too will pass. You need a nice sunny day and nothing but smiles all around you. Hang in there.
Well, onward and upward. Getting new dog fence today. The old one is barely able to stand so it is time. Lots to do. I'll be checking in later.
Hugs, Jackie
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Jackie - I forgot to mentio - I LOVE pit bulls - I don't know what it is about them but I love their faces!
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Illinois lady,
I am amazed people will work outside as cold as it must be. Or maybe it is DH and you doing the work? Don't get too chilled! Are the dogs helping? It's their fence after all.
Good weekend to everyone!
pam
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Didn't know I was coming back so soon. Thank goodness we are not putting up the fence, but it is a bit warmer today and no wind....that makes such a difference. Construction people are used to working in rotten weather. Though not so bad today....they have special thermal clothing so do not get chilled too much.....discomfort to a degree around face and neck mainly -- hands a little if they have to do something minus gloves for a bit.
For anyone re: pit bulls. Many people are very afraid of them. They do have an aggresive gene, but for the most part....the meanness/fighting/attacking etc. had to be trained into them. They are not the only breed like this -- others have aggressive genes/tendencies as well, but it is the pit bull we most hear about. Having said that and while just because of the strength and a couple of other factors I would tend to be cautious around pits....the truth is....almost any dog could attack if pushed long enough. Just used good rules. and common sense. Otherwise Pits are beautiful, and playful, loving and only want what all the others want.
Someome to love and love them in return.Hugs,Jackie
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Hi Ladies and hugs all around. I was so tired last night- it was my second week back at work- the first week I played hookie on Wed. so I worked 2 , one off, worked 2 more. This last week had 4, 9 hour days in a row- wiped me out & I went to my primary care physician on Friday to asked her when the energy would return ( I am 7 weeks out from BMX- no chemo-no rads) and she replied 4 weeks. I always knew her abilities were limited and do not believe her. I am 56, was on the table 4.5 hours and do see some improvement BUT now I think some of this fatigue is DEPRESSION. Not over losing the girls because they had cancer - but some of you have expressed it- a lose of innocence, the feeling I will never be the same, the C word! Now I do realize that MANY HAD/HAVE IT WORSE!!! I read in a state of awe about what others go thorough and have gone through and so admire the really tough ones here. My doc is young, a size 2 (maybe) and married to a PS- that is what she bases her opinion on and then added "but they are having Happy surgery". After baking all morning I have decided I will go back and ask about an antidepressant- why should I feel this way? I am ca free, have a great DH, a good, supportive job, great friends and a wonderful future- so why should I feel tried all the time with an edginess of sad. Any thoughts or advice on this one? Jackie I am sure you are right about ups and downs , I mean we had ups and downs before so why not now?
Jeanette I think the women who take part in"new trials" are paying it forward and hope for the best with your treatment. Hoping the infection clears and that the rad seeds worked. We live in crazy times and with the unknown changes on the horizon in the US medical system, we need to get all the treatment we can now.
My female Peke weighs in at 9 lbs- she is very small and fully hairy-she has blue blood and knows it! Ed is 23 lbs but all heart. Pekes are not everyones' favorite- not the same as Pits but close and I think it is care and handling as I never had a Peke that nipped or bit and I think if Pits are cared for they are wonderful. Maybe some people need biting???- Just a consideration.
Isabella you asked if the firemen were cheeky about my new look- no it makes them nervous to think about it- some have hugged me until they cried and I think many of them think about their mom's, wives and sisters.
Kathleen we are living longer and in the "old days" they often did not know what the cause of death or illness was- so who really knows. I think me are in a fortunate time for treatment compared to say my mothers breast CA- 41 years ago as it was such radical surgery- This is a little of my focus on possibly being depressed- as when compared to those days we, I, have a walk in the park!
Thank God for you guys- I love you , depend on your opinions- in fact you are the only ones I really trust and depend on for the truth and history based opinions. All others know nothing of our journey and as for my Dr---well she just needs to grow up
Now I am forcing myself out the door to give away Christmas bake goods in hopes of lifting my spirits and putting a smile on their faces and mine.
Don't freeze out there- give hugs to each other from me and keep you puppies close- they never disappoint!
This too shall pass.- keep going taking baby steps if nothing more!
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Hi Melissa....You are so right and though I just mainly have random thoughts about many things something may strike a cord somewhere. It is an innocence lost because like most....we are going through life and suddenly the brick wall we never saw coming slams right into the old solar plexus. I had no family history, and no more risk factors ( didn't smoke, not too over wt. full active life ) than anyone else. I could have eaten better, but there are lots of things you can do wrong and gets lots of problems. I think we all have a little difficulty with the idea that you can HAVE HAD a bout of cancer and go on and lead a perfectly healthy normal ( even if it is new normal ) life.
We don't feel about other things like we do cancer. I think partly because years ago it was almost a death sentence from the start. If you did make it through it was an extremely harsh, debilitating time through txs. So, for some reason ( at least I sure did ) when I heard the words you have cancer for the first time, I just got a dark black feeling inside. The safety net as well as the rug were long gone -- in an instant.
I have fought other things. Had a thyroid blow-out and went into near renal failure before some control was instituted. To the point after 7 years of misery I told my husband I was going to die and it was ok. He made me go ( carried me because I could not walk well at that point ) to the Dr. that night ( one more time he said ) and by fortune we saw a Dr. who knew exactly what was wrong.
Then a few years later I had a brain stem stroke ( now you all know why my thoughts, messages and answerers are not always so with it ) and again Dh got help for me. I still spent 3 days in intensive care and four on telemetry floor. With each incident I had transitory amnesia, lost use of muscles and had to re-learn basic functions....walking, writing with a pencil, organizing, etc.
Some days the roads were really long but the point is....life was never as bleak during those periods as when I heard " You have cancer ". With those illnesses before I always felt I would and could get back to where I was before they happened and be almost as good as NEW. I did just that and never think about those things as having any possibility of harming me now. Like a bad case of flu or maybe pneumonia -- they come and they go.
I have never felt that way about cancer. I will always have something inside that can not see it as an isolated malady. I did lose something that I can't get back -- my safety net I guess.
Though I could never say that I'm glad I got this type of illness.....I can say that it has given me a TREMENDOUSLY big opportunity for a Do-Over. For all the years and times I was not appreciative for my blessings, for some of the wonderful, gorgeous people that have been fortunate to have in my life, and for Gods gift of fantastic animal friends, and for a job, and a great husband, and for the picture postcard area where I live
and last but not least for all the great people on this cancer blog and Rita's IllinoisLadies one, I get a MAGNIFICENT CHANCE TO DO-OVER. To make right ( at least to and for myself ) some of the parts of the existence God has given me and to show gratitude for it. I am humbled that by grace I am here when others often seem so much more worthy.
So Melissa.....it will take time to find yourself. A HUGE life altering even happened to you and un-like many of our illnesses, somehow we can't maneuver through the chapters now the way we use too. There is as someone else so aptly said -- an elephant in the room, changing things because it will not go away. It takes time to learn how to live with this huge dark spot ( elephant ) in our room. If you need a little medicinal help to get over the hump, I say by all means. I did not do this, but I sometimes can be a little too stoic for my own good. You do have to find that place inside that finally learns to live with the dark spot ( elephant ) far enough away so that you come and go pretty much as you always did. There is hope -- because most of the time I am coming and going as I always did...just get a little nervy when it comes time for tests.
Know that my heart is with all of you because this is and can be a big struggle to get through. You are all magnificent women and you will get there and it will be ok. But the rainbow never comes till after the rain.
Hugs and healing prayers,
Jackie
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Jackie,
You are an inspiration to all of us.
pam
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Very inspiring post, Jackie. Thanks for sharing.
Rain, rain, and more rain. That's our daily weather forecast so far for Dec. No golf. Days when I can't get out and walk. There's extra time for cooking big pots of comfort food. I even got out the bread maker.
Maybe we should change the name of this thread to Older Ladies with BC who love dogs?
I'm not a doggie person. When we had pets, we preferred cats. Now I have a sculpted clay dog and a pottery pig! Low upkeep. I also love fish and birds but have never owned a bird. My sister kept a gray parrot for a friend once and had the best time. The bird would sit on my sister's shoulder and talk to her. When my sister was doing chores, the bird would ask, "What are you doing?"Tomorrow Dh and I are attending a Christmas concert. I'm looking forward to the beautiful music.
Healing vibes to those who are in the healing phase and best wishes to all.
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Jackie, you should pen your thoughts for other people to see! You are a great story-teller, and I really enjoyed reading what you had to say! It is these women like you that give those of us who are struggling, a better perspective on what is going on......and hope.Sometimes, it just seems like the "waiting" and not knowing, then knowing & waiting, & surgery, then treatments are taking forEVER...even when they are not! And it IS a dark place...and yes, the word cancer DOES take over our thinking & every waking moment! It scars our soul. But when we suddenly get some good news, or treatments are going better, or it COULD have been worse, our head sort of grabs those moments & "mends" our hearts!
I can't begin to tell you how much your blogs are helping me......
Okay, now could someone PLEASE tell me how to copy & paste the pictures of your pets here? I did it once, but for the life of me, I can't do it again! Our little Sheltie would like to have her picture posted also, to romp around here on this site, with your other puppies, but "Mom" can't do it! Thanks gals...for everything! Jeannette
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Jo and Jackie- Boy you guys said it and YES Jackie you should repost the in-site you have posted here- everyone copy it to their personal e mail or somewhere to read it when we get in a "dark place". And repost it for newbies like me. I so appreciate it and would like to take your words to my doctor! Jo I have known the "let go and Let GOD" for many years and you are right He is the only one that has any real "say"- but maybe I need to use the tools he has provided as I so want this on the back burner. Also, Jackie , your story is exactly what I am referring to when I say "there are others who have had so much more than me- and I know it" God love you and your DH for all you have been through.I have thought that the lesson I am supposed to be learning is to "Live in the Moment" and will try harder.
I had read and blogged last night bit fell asleep in the middle of it and when I woke from my 40 winks the page was gone.
I will call my doc on Monday - I have been so independent, so confident, so self-directed, so self-sufficient all of my life, this situation makes me really question who the heck I have become- I know I will never be that same, that is OK, I will settle for being better- and I don't think it is too much to ask for from myself and it will be my long-term goal. My short term goal is to remember what the Wise Women of BC (WWBC) have learned before me and keep you guys close.
Vegas got 0.8 of an inch of rain and it made the news---can you imagine how ridiculous that is- I mean really that is barely spit compared to real rain! Or snow. I am going to do a little Christmas shopping later today after spending some time with the One who carried me while I could not carry myself.
I hope you each have a wonderful day- be careful Jo of that ICE! None of us need another health issue to handle.
Group hug- don't be the first to let go! Love you all.
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Melissa I hope you are feeling a bit brighter. Talk to your doctor and if she won't or can't understand get to talk to someone else. When I complained of tiredness to my Dr she said it was perfectly normal to feel as I did. My BS hugged me when I said I was giving up teaching and said the many women do change direction in their lives after BC and good on me. Melissa that was two years down the track and I was so tired all I was doing was going to school and coming home and going to sleep. I have had such a great year and I am enjoying life.
Jackie, you put it so well, thank you.
Hope the weather improves as it is raining.
DS will be home this afternoon but it is just until after Christmas. DH will be pleased to see him. DH is slowly recovering after a few rough days. I think his heart surgery has made him think about his mortality and that he is lucky to have a chance of a longer life. He had been going downhill rapidly in the last couple of months. Yesterday he was really so much brighter.
Big hugs to all.
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Good morning gals!
We had the freezing rain last night, too but the temp has warmed a bit and now all the roads are just wet. We drove to church in dense fog! What strange weather!
JO...I'm glad to hear that the depression symptoms seemed to lessen when you got off the Arimidex.
Have any of you ladies on Arimidex or other AI's had problems with broken blood vessels? I went to the dermatologist for a red spot on the bridge of my nose that hasn't healed in months and seems to be getting a little bigger with time. I fully expected her to take a biopsy and then tell me that I had skin cancer. However, I found out that it was a broken blood vessel that will not heal without being take off with the laser. I guess this is not an uncommon thing for people who have been put on Tamoxifin and Arimidex and the hormone levels change. The only bad thing about it is that insurance will not cover the cost of removal. Since it is non-threatening, it is considered cosmetic surgery and it runs $250. I have a couple of months to think about it as she didn't want to take if off if I was heading to Florida this winter for a few weeks. It needs to be kept out of the direct sun for about 3 weeks.
Kathleen, I share your fear of heights. I was even hypnotized once to try to get rid of it. It didn't work. When I taught school, all the other junior high classes sat at the top of the bleachers for school assemblies..........all that is, except for mine who sat on the first two rows with the 4th graders. The kids teased me mercilessly but I just couldn't climb to the top and getting back down was even worse! LOL
Well, my goal today is to finish my Christmas cards so I need to get moving. Everyone have a great day!
Rita
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Glad to report that I had a pretty good day today- went back on my xanxa but cut them in half so I used 0.25 mg three times and did just fine. I also wrote my PCP a letter and explained what she thinks is totally naive to a 56 years old having be told the "four words"- she may fire me as a patient all though I did not demand any thing but did tell her that she spends more time :documenting to CYA and not really seeing her patients."- I think they need to hear how we feel, after all WE PAY THEM. If I were staying here longer I would just change doctors.
Our tree is on- looks very nice, and the Christmas cookies smell great- Hope all of you have a great night. Thanks for being there- Rita enjoy Florida.
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Melissa, I'm not heading to Florida until the end of January, but I will enjoy it when it's time to go! I admire you for writing that letter too your PCP. It has taken me all my life to get to the point where I actually speak up and say what I'm thinking. Maybe your comments will make a difference, and if not, at least you feel better because you vented and tried to make a difference. I'm so glad that you had a good day! Just keep those "good days" rolling along!
More later. I'm up early and have LOTS to do this week. It seems like every group that I'm in has decided to party for the holidays this week so I have lots that needs to be done. Maybe that is why I couldn't sleep!
Catch you all later.
Rita
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