Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Just checking in to see how you are all going.
(((Connie))))) have a young cousin going through similar things, her DH is an addict and she has severe depression and they have a five year lad - its all very sad but she has to sort herself first. I hadn't though about groups like ALAnon so will talk to her mother later. He is so charming but lies about everything.
Loved the poem on attitude Jeanette.
Must move as that little Bea will be here soon and we will take her for a walk.
I hear many of you have had a good lot of snow, hope you all have power and are keeping warm.
Alyson
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Sorry I lost my post, and cannot do it all again, I am nearly asleep !!!!
Isabella.
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Hi everyone.....I'm checking in after a long day. Still have a lot to do and hoping I have enough ingredients to make a Wacky cake. I cook the icing for this cake and put in about a third of a cup of peanut butter right before you start stirring it up with a lot of vigor so it does not set on you too soon. The wacky cake is a chocolate one and the icing ends up tasting something like a Reese's peanut butter cup. It is pretty yummy. I need to take one for tomorrow to the spaghetti dinner the Humane Society/ House of Hope shelter is putting on. I will also help them serve, clean up or whatever needs doing.
Hope you all had a great day.
Hugs, Jackie
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Long day PODS! Back in the ER. I was a few quarts low! Good God, I get dehydrated so easily with this dratted chemo thingy and trying to get it out of my body. I am OK, just overdid it too much yesterday. Most amazing thing, I was lying on the hospital bed 'talking to my Mom' who passed recently (praying really) and all of a sudden, the paper towel despenser (which is electric) began going berserk, shooting out paper towels by the dozens. For no reason?! The nurses kept coming in and freaking out. I had to laugh (not that I was not full of meds) as this is something my Mom would do. CONNIE, DON'T YOU EVER APOLOGIZE FOR TAKING TIME ON THE BOARD!!!!!! Many of this group of women (me) seem to be dealing with the same issues and you hit such an important issue for us all!! We are recovering from cancer for Lord's sake and we need to do all we can to support each other stay emotionally healthy. Isabella, don't you just hate it-type the whole thing and it goes into the ozone-please rewrite! Cake-OMG-that sound like the best cake ever! I need a nappy! Good night to all PODS! SV
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Still V.....you know that really was your mother. She was acknowledging you. How great is that ???? So --- there was a reason.
Sleep tight.
Hugs, Jackie
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SV, now that is funny! If ya gotta go to the hospital may as well have a laugh. I think it was your mom too - good job mom!
Night PODS.
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WACKY CAKE
3 cups flour
2 cups sugar
6 TBSP's cocoa
dash of salt
2 tsp.'s baking soda
12 TBSP's Oil
2 TBSP's vinegar
2 cups cold water
Use 9 X 13 pan ( ungreased ) 350 degrees for 40 to 45 minutes
Mix all dry ingredients in a large bowl. Make a well in the center and add all other ( liquid ) ingredients. Mix until smooth -- don't have to use a mixer, by hand is fine. Bake in un-greased pan at 350 degrees for 40 to 45 mins or unti toothpick comes out clean.
ICING
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup cocoa
1/2 cup butter or margarine ( is one stick )
1/2 cup milk
2 TSP. vanilla
1/2 cup peanut butter
Mix cocoa and sugar in heavy 2 or 3 qt. saucepan to remove lumps. Add butter and milk; stir and bring to rolling boil, stirring often. Boil for three or four minutes, or until it forms a soft ball when dropped in cold glass of water. Remove from heat.
Add vanilla and stir in well, then add the one half cup peanut butter while beating the still warm icing. This will cause the icing to set up so be prepared to spread on the cooled chocolate cake without much delay. The peanut taste is subtle, but it adds a whole lot of umph to the flavor.
Hope you all enjoy
Hugs, Jackie
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Regarding the cake, eggs, etc: I have some box cake mixes, but no eggs. Thought a cake would be a nice thank you for helping shovel my little driveway, but I have no eggs. Since I am allergic to chocolate, I have no cocoa either but the wacky cake sounds easy. I am allergic to egg whites ( not a severe reaction if I eat them), so I do not keep eggs around unless I am planning on baking - which is not very often.
Jackie, I want to verify that you put 12 TBSP of oil, and not a typo. I will print out the recipe for another time. And I guess I can leave the cocoa out, right? or would that skew the mixture?
There is a great frosting in a can that I have put over a ( store bought ) pound cake or angel food cake - Pecan coconut frosting. Careful if small children or "old" people with the coconut in it.
Hugs for all, Nancy
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Hello Sunday Morning!
So good to hear from you my friends! Every morning I open this site to see WHAT the hell is going on! Connie, it sounds like things might be a little calmer lately....hope it stays that way for awhile....Is your Husband going through so much torment also? Hopefully that guy will KNOW that he has to get help, in order to get your Daughter back! If he would go to "re-hab" and get completely clean, would they go back together again? I know sometimes, through the courts, it is a "court-ordered" situation. Does she even want him back after all that? I just wish we could come up with something that would "fix" it. And Melissa, SV.....THank God you got your little fanny into the Emergency as fast as you could! I know of a woman that wound up staying in the Hospital because SHE was dehydrated....just from not drinking water! And that HAD to have been your MOM! I still miss my Mom so much...& one time I was walking by this little music box of hers that I have on my night stand, & all of a sudden it started playing "How Great Thou ART!".....Man the tears just came down....I knew she was "with" me! I KNOW there are "signs" all the time....something might happen...& then you realize this was meant to happen for a reason...Or whatever I just said. I know what I mean, I just can't say exactly what I am trying to say.
And don't you HATE it when like you are rambling on about something, & you accidently hit SOMEthing wrong, & your "post" is in never-do-that-again-land?
And the Pineapple cake sounds great! Gotta try that one too! I made the BEST Guacamole dip yesterday...2 Avacado's....minced onion....chopped cilantro, & the juice of one Lemon...or Lime & a little garlic salt! And it still looked good this morning, ha! I put some on a little hamburger!
Now I know if I click "back" to see the last few posts, I'll lose this, so see-ya for now! xoxoxo Jeannette
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Jackie,
The cake sounds great... might make it later today. It's even cold in Florida... good day for baking.
No eggs, right? That is unusual. Just thought I would double check.
pam
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leftyAKAnancy what's the problem with coconut? I have some that is meant to be part of the decoration for a cake my grandson and I are going to make today.0
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Hi ladies -- 12 TBSP's is correct -- along with not adding any eggs at all. Basically, this is a chocolate cake with chocolate icing --- but adding in the peanut butter gives a really nice zing.
I think anyone allergic to chocolate could make the cake and just put a nice icing on it. Nancy's icing would be fine probably -- that is basically I think German chocolate cake icing. You would go find as well maybe a peanut butter icing on the Internet or a favorite cookbook etc. To me cakes are for having fun some of the time so do whatever you like.....you may end up with something super tasty that way and be the hit of your church social or school bake sale ??? If I were not taking this cake ( so many people allergic to nuts ) out I would probably drop lots of chopped pecans in the icing too. But -- trying to stand in the middle somewhat.
Will see you all later. I'm off to make the icing for my cake.
Hugs,
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lasie, perhaps I am over caution with nuts, coconut, anything lumpy, etc. due to allergies and potential chocking. This cake sounds perfect for me without the eggs. Adding some chopped pecans to the frosting makes it more "home made"... pass it off as an old family recipe !!!
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Good morning PODS, Jeanette, oHHHHH, I just loved your 'pack of prose' that you passed on. How beautiful. Spar, Isabella, Jackie and Alyson-GOOD'Day.Is everyone stuck in the "freeze du jour? Crikey it is so cold here!! OK I want reports on the "reeses chocolate cake" and Connie, report on any swiming activity- and GO SAINTS. Not that I am a tele football fan, but ST Louis deserves so very much and I need an underdog to root for!! Love to all for now and (my personal opinion, everyone needs to google "codependant and take the test." Then we can all share results-TEE-HEE. I know I am still quite pathetic! Oh duh, I thought myself the first one up and just read all of the posts this AM. How can somany women be out of eggs? We all need to buy some chickens as I cannot believe there are so many PODS without eggs! I would love the try the "whacky cake". Love to all Pods, And the sun is actually out today!!!! Ok, big question, did those of you recovering from chemo hit a point where ya' had the worst nightmares and most bizarre dreams all night? There is no escape from it all! SV
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Good afternoon from a southern coast where the sky is bright blue and it's a beautiful day.
On the coconut and nuts and honey ... you can't give babies those, too likely to cause an allergic reaction.
Ya'll helped me so much. I can't thank you enough. I feel a lot better today and YES I DID go for a nice long swim. I walk some, swim some, walk swinging my arms against the water in an effort to prevent LE or help fix what has started. I feel SO MUCH BETTER after, even if I'm tired.
Chevyboy - I think that she is done. That's what she said and that's what she told him. He has neglected his husbandly and fatherly duties to the point where it's non-existent, unavailable and not needed. YES, things are much quieter. DH is disturbed by what's happening, but he hasn't stressed it like I have. He will deal with the young man in his own way and time, he employed the boy for the past maybe 6 years, so they have a realtionship and DH will join our conversation later today. Thanks!
I wanted to pick a team for tonights game - The Saint's it is!
I've asked our 2 DDs to come together today, just to all be on the same page re: the separation that has occurred. We have to tell their brother, great-grandmothers, 2 aunts and some cousins something, because everyone will be affected.
I'm glad its Sunday. I'm ordering the book, and doing the google test, this should be interesting!
~Connie
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ohh Connie, I am so proud of you! And OK, now I have to google and take the test too! And someone please, I am to embarrased to ask my DD and DB WHEN THE SUPERBOWEL IS ON-I thought it was today but cannot find it on anything! And because the PODS rock, I really want to send all of you that want one, something special.I made the offer to J and am organizing her package-OK, OK May not seem a big deal but magical to me. Being on the Outer Banks, we have more shipwrecks than people on our sands. I have spent decades collecting "seaglass" which is glass from bottles, etc, often from the old wreck that is ground by the wave action to beautiful pieces of glass (big item for jewelers to make gorgeous earrings, etc from); second thing is "fulgurite" which is sand that was struck by lightening and turned to glass (ugly but very cool with magical powers); third: lumps of coal that wash up on the beach from the old steamers that sailed and wrecked on our shores (the OBX is called the "Graveyard of the Atlantic" due to the Bermuda Triangle and the presence of Davie Jones who rules the seas here). ANYWAY, point being, if you want me to send you something to add to your special POD trinket box; send me an address by PM. It WILL BE KEPT CONFIDENTIAL. You ladies are just so wonderful and deserve a few things that I think are truly cool! Oh, Oh and sharks teeth, too (but they are well, boring) but for the PODS, anything goes. I am on my way to make (or buy) a special POD box to keep 'these times and friendships' close to my heart. If I sound a bit over the top, I did get too much happy juice yesterday and a script for more today as the docs think me "depressed" and that I was not only dehydrated but had a panic attack (bec I have feelings of impending doom-no shit sherlock-i have cancer you friggin' idots) and the drugs are working really good. PODS rock and yes, i will deliver to the UK and Australia, though you probably have way cooler things there. I am going to curl up on the couch and watch "Rebecca" (my fav movie and I can hate the evil Mrs. Danvers!!!). I want to go out, but it is so freaking cold. Got a bunch of calls today from old friends from from NY to Utah, cheering me on and all I could do was blubber in the phone---errghh-how pathetic. ((((BIG HUGS)))) SV AND the presents are just for the PODS so keep this on the QT-I only have so much ocean to work with here.
SV 0 -
leftyAKAnancy thanks for that info. The youngest to do any eating will be the 6 year old and since he has no other allergies and there is only a bit of coconut, I think we will be just fine.
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Hi Connie.....Yes, I guess it would be difficult for the guy to "act like" he is a good Husband & Father, due to the drugs, or even alcohol! They just can't think straight! You know, even if your Daughter isn't "done".....if things change dastically, or she has a change of heart, who can say what will happen later on? People even file for divorce, then get back together again....And if they don't? It was meant to be. Man, I'll think of you guys, when time for the "sit down" comes.....It COULD have been like an Intervention, if your Son in law were included and if any of you thought it was worth a try..... But those things can be brutal.....Hugs for you anyway.....
Melissa, SV..... I'm always so glad to see you on here....I just can't imagine what the "sea glass' looks like! I've looked it up, but it's still a mystery to me about "ship wrecks" glass washing up on shore....& EVERYthing!!!!!!!! Yes, it IS magical! Like I said, I still have shells & rocks from beaches, & the Rockies, & I can't get rid of them EVER, because of all the memories, of when I collected them! And those things must weigh a ton!
I am making you something for your little "empty" head.....you gotta stay in when it is cold out...girl! Glad you are taking something for those side effects going on!And by now, you probably know when the Super Bowl is on....Don't feel bad, I had to look up where they were going to play! Ha! Who's playing? The Bronco's & who else?
Okay "Kids".....gotta go get some Chesters Chicken from King Soopers! That is the BEST fried Chicken EVER! MMMMmmmmmmm! Love you! oxoxoxoxoxo
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Good Lord J., your pix are so wonderful. OK, when you get the time you have to tell me how you are putting them in your text (I cannot use photobucket). And yes, our house is loaded with rocks, My great Aunt owned the "Insanity Rock Shop" in Deadwood SD and my GF was a geologist for diamond mines in South Africa. We still have bags of rocks from the 1800's in storage (I have no idea why). XXOO, SV
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Dear SV I have been reading everything you are going through. My heart aches for you. It makes my MX sound like a walk in the park. You have to be coming out of the woods though. Not having had chemo I dont know anything about it. I would love to have one of your artifacts from the ocean. I found the cure for everything. We went out and bought a 9 week old puppy. Just love him and he loves me so much. Love to all
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Ohh, Darolynn, what kind of puppy???? And i cannot wait to hear 'puppy report' in the morning after a very long night-tee hee. SV
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Dar, please remove your address from your post. You don't want to start getting all kinds of garbage. You can PM it to SV if she hasn't copied it already.
And, what happened, you always start your posts "this is DAR from Ohio" - just kidding!
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Puppy love will do that to you :-)
So exciting to have a new puppy. They are so sweet and devoted to you instantly. Almost makes me want one! Almost.
pam
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Our tribunal went excellently. We made sure that we all understand what is happening and how to deal with him should we run into him. DD has a counseling appt at 10 a.m. and I'll be babysitting. We have a busy week with meetings and appointments, but we will wrap it around caring for the baby.
I'm getting a device for lumbar traction, and instructions to use it at home. And on Wed. I'm having a Lumbar EMG. I'm one year out of cervical surgery and that part is doing better, even if sometimes my shoulders go to sleep.
Oh, and on the intervention idea... we did that about 8 months ago, he went into a clinic that kept him for only 5 days, with instructions to follow up with his PCP which he did, got some antidepressants, told to take them for at least a year and he took them maybe a week. Then the job loss he lost his health insurance. ... IF they were to ever reconnect, I wouldn't be opposed to it, if that's what they both wanted and he's been clean for more than a year. If not, no way.
I love watching the ads that broadcast during the superbowl. Hey, Pam, I don't think anyone cares about the weather... Are ya'll watching those doritos ads??? crack me up.
Happy SuperBowl Sunday Night Everyone and to all a Great New Week!
~Connie
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OOO yes, Dar...do as Patoo says !!!
Connie, commiserations on your family situation. I know whats going on ....I have been there. The situation very rarely resolves, think about your little g/daughter as she grows up right in the middle of this, it will be horrendous for her.
My father was an alchoholic....well, as near as dammit can be....he drank EVERY night, and all w/ends, We kids, 5 of us, were in a terrible place. Whenever he came home he was drunk, he ripped the home up. My mother would never let him be when he came in, always had to start an argument, which quickly escalated into a fight, and the police would be called. Usually at w/ends ( when they had more time to devote to their rows, so they were more vicious ) father would be carted off to the cells, mother would be ambulanced to local hospital, where she had lots of ribs broken, was badly bruised, mainly around her face, and once even had her collar bone smashed up. We became 'That Family ' It was awful.
After 3 kids mother started divorce proceedings, but changed her mind, so off we went again. I was the eldest, so it usually fell to me, in the wee small hours, to tramp across town, 2 miles, to my Grandmothers house, with the smaller kids, to get us to a safe place.
Father had 3 kids, in and among us 5, to women who ran the pubs he drank in. Mother started having affairs in retaliation. She got a job in a bar, but what was well known in our area as the local knocking shop. She told me that going with the men was 'part of the job' She got pregnant, it wasn't my fathers, but she brought this child ( my half sister) up as his. To the day he died he never knew ! (This child was the apple of my fathers eye, I was terribly jealous of the relationship they had, but I had all been sworn to secrecy by my mother, so couldn't say anything )
It is amazing what is swirling around your heads as you grow up in this toxic atmosphere, things you should never be involved in as young children, but which are part of your everyday life. HOW in the hell I got thru school I will never know. I was a scholarship girl, won a place at a very prestigious school, the only one in my year, in our small town, to do so. No-one was proud of my achievments, no-one bothered what I was doing, I had a hard time keeping up , because I was on baby sitting duties every night. I was a high flyer who had her wings clipped. ( I got thru, but had to go back and do most of the exams I needed to get myself into college, at night school)
I will never forgive my mother for dragging us all thru this, we all got out as soon as we could, and 4 of us never go anywhere near her...she is in a nursing home now...the only one who will go see her is my half sister, and she only goes 4 times a year, even though she lives just a mile from the nursing home. So think on this , don't feel guilty about protecting your DD and G/D by taking them into your home. You really wouldn't want your G/D to go thru a life like I did. There is no going back for a druggie or an alchoholic, they're usually lost causes.
Isabella.
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Isabella, I am so sorry for your lost childhood. Thanks so much for sharing but the things that people who supposedly love us, do to us, is almost unforgivable. Working on forgiveness is hard for me. My Mom and Dad were just as bad but we lived in such a rual area, nobody bothered with us. I was an only child until I was 16, (my brother who is an alcoholic was born) but I had run away from home by then and was living on the streets of San Fransisco (in the 60's). A hippy from the get go. And yes, I was a 'star child' that got no notice. It is rare, but people do get sober (about 1 in 100) and normally takes five-six full treatments (inpatient). I feel lucky with 21 years sober. I think part of my Dad's amends is having to care for me in my illness with cancer. Mom died with 34 years but she was a dry drunk in the end. How did we survive it all? I just feel so for you, my dear. And Dar, get your address off the page and PM it to me!! xxxxooo, SV
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Northstar,
I am 57 and I was diagnosed with bc last May and had my surgery in September with some complications, I finally started my chemo in November and I have 2 more sessions to go and then radiation. I'm not sure if it's the anxiety of the next chemo session, because that was a hard one, but I've been having panic and anxiety attacks for the last month and a half and I have no idea what to do when they happen.
I've been to my family doctor, he gave me something to relax me, I'm not sure if it's working because today, I still felt a little out of sorts,
Have you had any panic attacks and if so how have you been coping?
Thanks for any information you may have on the subject.
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Tarry1,
So sorry for your anxiety on top of everything else. You are surely not alone. My goodness, we have cancer! Why shouldn't we be anxious? See you doctor, be comfortable taking the drugs and TALK to us... we all understand.
pam
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Tarry, I am so glad you found us. And yes, while I suffer from panic attacks and depression, I have been very stable for about 15 years. Very honestly, the chemo had a 'brain trauma effect' on me. It is as though it fried my brain and neurological connections and I cannot cope with much. All of my panic and some depression has returned. This week-end I was in the ER with dehydration after chemo, but also had a major panic attack. My docs are changing my meds to help me to cope. i think it is not just the diagnosis, but the chemo and RADS does a number on the brain and the body. I am a 'go too gal' and often fling myself into projects if I am anxious. I cannot do that right now (stuck on the couch) so I am stuck with major feelings and no way to diffuse them because I am so fatigued. Get to your PCP and get nec referrals if needed to help. The meds I am now on are definately helping. And keep talking about your feelings to us. Frankly, I need to be back in therapy. We SO understand! Blessings, SV
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Please be patient with me on this computer. I took college courses and worked on the computer at the hospital. I did not know how to PM. I hope I did it right my daughter helped me. Our sweet lttle puppy part bichon and shih tzu. He has us trained. We follow him around and try to get him when he wets but havent yet.He prances when he walks. We named him Ralphy now ou parrot has got to learn to call him. He can whistle for the dog but he has to learn his name. Someone PM me in Dec. please forgive me as I didnt even know what it meant. I am almost forgeting I have these damn drains in and how they pull. I know others have it a lot worse especially SV(my heart goes out for you) I have to sign out Dar from Ohio. Is that a little goofy?
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