Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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SVYou make my day. I used to have such a sense of jhumor but kind of lost it with this cancer. When I read about the underpants on your head I laughed out loud. That is something thatwould have happened to me. Does that drug arimidex cost that much? I have insurance, but have a copay. I find out monday what is going to happenLove to all
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About the cost of Arimidex: I think the most recent retail price of Arimidex is just over $400.00 for 30 pills. If you have insurane they may have negotiated a lower price. For instance, my reduced price is now $388.00. IF I had met my deductible my insurance would reimburse me for 80% but my deductible is quite high so I am out of pocket for it unless my medical bills run up higher than I anticipate :-( Not a winning situation either way!
It is supposed to go off patent in late June. iF that happens, a generic should show up quickly as one is already being sold in other countries. Let's all hope!
pam
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Hi all, Southern California started the day out a little chilly, but did warm up
I played three sets of doubles tennis..felt good even tho I did not play well.
BMW2, I too was originally dx'ed in 2000 and had a lumpectomy, and chemo
then they found another cancer in the same breast and I had a mastectomy
then I went on tamoxifen and they found another lump in the other breast but
it was atypical hyperplasia so they did another lumpectomy and I switched
to arimidex for another four years..I still see the onc every four months and
we keep a careful watch ..
welcome to our group and sending hugs your way
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If someone is praying for snow, please stop it! (Church billboard). Welcome BMW2, tho I am so sorry it is under such frightening circumstances. I hope that we can support you and perhaps bring a little joy to your corner of the world. And just where in NC are you going to buy your little beach house? What beach town? i live in Duck on the Outer Banks and yes, we do have ONC's here too. We are the mighty PODS and welcome to the group. Speaking for me, pretty much anything goes-if I can write about wearing my underwear on my head and losing my pubic hair and get chuckles and understanding-then it is all good. Ok, who to pick on tonight-with love. CONNIE, I am from the south and I have never head of 'tomato pie.' You made that up didn't you? Fried green tomatoes (not the movie) yes! Tomato pie-no. Livermush and grits-yes! Tomato pie-no! Corn Fritters-yup! TP-no! Now we do eat potatoe pie-are you sure you have your toes right? Spar, ohh found excellent shark's teeth-big ones too! And yeah for Softie!! Lucky the poor dog did not have chemo! Love Dh messing with the Fireplace and burning the house down. Bomom-yeah WBC up.
Tarry-how did the transfusion go today? SoCall, where you been hiding? Yeah torture us with the warm sunny days in California! Dar-you will either lose it or get your sense of humor back or both-if you are lucky!
Reeltchr-any news on procedure. Thinking of you dear one.
Isabella, OK do you want a really cool sharks tooth? Do you have any sharks in the UK? All this talk of chickens and cows, I have to wonder. But hey, you have 'bog bodies' there don't you?
Kathleen, gees I used to live in Canada and the snow was like 10 feet deep. We had to plug our cars in at night to keep radiators from freezing! Earth is truly changing!
Nancy, OMG-Olivia is growing in leaps and bounds. Cannot wait for pix!
Jeanette, I only wear my thongs on my head when I am playing 'catwoman' or batman. Or when I need a nosewarmer! The dogs run for the corner as I whirl around in a cape and thong. I do have to let my wild child out if only in my bedroom! And if anyone has any ideas, I am alone when doing this!
Hey Carole and Jackie, Pam, Lassie, Patoo, Rita, Maire67 and Mom7!!
I am really frazzled. I had an awful meeting with the SW.My Dad went and he felt it was awful too. Am I nuts or do none of the professionals seem to be on on the same page when it comes to cancer?!!!! Is it just me who walks in the door with the agenda I think we have agreed too, only to have something completely different happen. I think this the nature and dreaded fear of the mere word CANCER! And the inability of the researchers to find a cure! Sorry to sound so down but I simply do not know anymore, and I have a strong medical background. I meet with the ONC from Chapel Hill tomorrow at 9, but I now find out he is only going to give me a second opinion, not take me as a patient. I am sick to hear this news! I feel like I am back at square one! OOOHHNOOO, "me Scottish/Irish blood beginning to boil." Woops, the brain-o-meter has moved into a rant!! OK, If you are going to cut us open and fill us with the most poisonous chemicals on earth, don't tell us you don't have a CURE for f-ING CANCER!! I just want to napalm something! WHEW! I am going to write CANCER on the bottom of my Crocs and find every pile of dog shit I can find to stomp in! OK, Give me a minute and some lorazepam and I will be back to my sweet self
to this disease! SV0 -
SV - did the lorazepam kick in yet?
Okay, I won't pick on you, instead I will pick on Spar2. Spar, my dear sister, how did you hurt your good knee when you are supposed to be resting until your foot heals and you have been using a wheelchair - you've been busted!!!!!
Welcome all new friends. Praying for good outcomes whatever you are going through.
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Pam - Whoa! That's a hefty sum for the Arimidex.. Femara is also in the $400 range for 30 pills. Where did you hear about the patent? I wonder if there is any info about Femara. I think there may already be a generic for it but, of course, it's not sold in the US. Oh well. Good night. - Chris0
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OK, the lorazepam has kicked in and I feel ever so much better. Good night PODS! ((((HUGS))))SV
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SV - You have every right to rant and you know we will listen. After all you have been through, just let it roll. BTW, when you go see the onc, be sure to wear your underwear. Now, where you put it is your prerogative.
My procedure is in 3 weeks. I'm just starting to get the jitters about it. Normal. I'll be all right. It's just the getting there that sucks. With some luck everything will go well and then I'll have a pair of foobs.
Good night everyone. Chris
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HI to BMW2. BMW -- I think anyone of us, reconstructed or not could have a recurrence. They say if you do all the right things, like eat certain foods, exercise, drink moderately, if at all -- and many people have lived that way and still got cancer. So -- you just have to do the best you can, stay vigilant, don't miss your check-ups, be moderate in your habits, and keep praying that better answers come along soon.
Had a sort of rugged day yesterday and my work day today so I'm done in and going to get in pj's and hit the old recliner. Another round tomorrow and then the week-end. Nice to get to a spot where I have almost as much work, but a lot more flexibility in doing it.
I'll be off now, but you have and stay on my mind. Wanting things to be good for all.
Hugs, Jackie
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I feel a bit like this today.
I 'M OUT OF ESTROGEN
And I HAVE A GUN
Hi PODS was sent this and thought those on AIs would like this.
Alyson
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Good on ya, Alyson, they say a picture speaks a thousand words, and that one is me on Arimidex.
Sheila.
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Good Morning Girls! Whew, took me a few minutes to catch up here!
We went out to "play" yesterday, & that was fun....until DH drank his weight in beer, & it soaked his brain enough to render him s***faced! THAT is no fun! Yeah, I know....this morning it will be better, but STILL! It's just hard to "forget" it, & try & pretend it didn't happen, or those things that came out of his mouth really weren't said....Amazing how waking up in the middle of the night & praying to God can bring you peace.... I'm just glad I can come to this place to bitch a little....BMW...geez, I'm so SORRY!....Kiddo, just do whatever you can to take care of yourself....I wish I could help you more....just remember that's what we are here for....These women have had cancer return also, & they are in this for the fight of their lives! But we are here, always waiting for you to post, & we'll talk to you! You should move back to NC, & be close to Melissa, SV... She would keep you hoppin'! She says it's BEAUTIFUL back there!
And I'm soooooo glad Puppy is better!!!!! And Tomato pie????? THAT sounds soooooo good! I'll bet I could make my own....but can you tell me YOUR recipe? Or something like it? I grow the best home grown tomatoes in the world...at least in this block! I just love to smash one into my face when it is ripe! And I make damn good fried green tomatoes too! But I have to wait awhile to start my seeds....middle of March won't be long!
Now if I "go back" to see what or who I missed, I'll surely lose this post...so I gotta continue...It just makes me feel bad to hear about you Tarry, & BMW, & Hi to Chris & Spar....And Melissa, SV.... how you can stay so happy with what you are going through, is such an inspiration to us all! I swear, we ourselves, know about as much about this cancer as some of our so-called medical professionals! We need some good news here.... I'm just going to drink my aloe vera shake, take my Tamoxifen, & wait for DH to wake up.....I know..... it could be a lot worse... love you gals....xoxoxoxo Jeannette The names have been changed to protect the innocent..
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Whew ... that was a lot of reading to catch up. First, Welcome BMW2 Absolutely, come here anytime and rant as much as you want. Cancer SUCKS.
I've never heard of tomato pie either. We need a receipe!
I am breathing a sigh of relief that Softy is doing so much better,
Spar ... when it rains it pours, poor thing. Its so easy to injure the "good" leg when you are favoring the "bad one." I pray that your leg (both of them!) get healed and soon.
Alyson ... loved the picture!
Chevy ... did I understand you correctly? Your DH got drunk and said mean things to you?
Lisa ... good to "see" you again ... any more photos? Your pictures are so gorgeous.
SV ... God bless you ... I am sure that things will go smoothly but I know what you mean ... I was diagnosed October 3rd, saw a plastic surgeon, then went to Georgetown Hospital to get another opinion than had the surgery on December 19. The whole time I was just walking around like a Zombie, trying not to think about it at all. The last time I visited the plastic surgeon was when the date for the double mastectomy was finalized. Then it got for REAL.
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SV I believe you asked;" Is it just me who walks in the door with the agenda I think we have agreed too, only to have something completely different happen." My reply would be HELL NO IT IS NOT JUST YOU!!! I went to my BS after the 1st biopsy and MRI- now we all knew that I had CA - I fully expected to "firm up a surgery date -today" and my nurse friend who went to every appointment with me felt the same way. We, after she (BS) told me I had to go for more biopsies JoEllen (nurse friend) limped out of the office in total shock and felt as if I was back at square one ANDhad been kicked in the stomach! I made my mind up that day to take charge. I did go for the biopsy ( my BMX was less painful!) only to be compliant-however I told the radiologist at that time "This is it- when the results are in we will set a surgery date- a FIRM ONE.' AND DID SO.
I was told BC "is not an emergency" Wanted to kick them in the jewels! and that took my breath away. We are all ready in a fragile spot and then the proverbial shit hits the fan- yes we make it through. I am very grateful to many people who have helped me- some total strangers were more supportive and kind than the "professionals"- and feel as if I have come out the other side of the gauntlet- a WINNER! And I might add that this experience has changed me for the better- I am more calm and pick my battles as not is as important as it was once- in other words I have let myself off "the hook" feels good.
I am tired today and plan to leave early- also pulled my back last week and was treated by yet another "professional" as a drug seeker, so no pain meds for me- just keep going- That professional could have given me something more that a muscle relaxed (which I can not take during any waking hours) and an anti inflammatory and have been to the chiropractor who has helped immensely!
I don't care I am having a good day in spite of "them"- the world is divided into two groups of people after my BC experience 1) those that help and 2) those that I have voo-doo dolls of an pinch and poke them at lib! LOL
Who said tomato pie??? I want that recipe too-
You Mighty Pod Members (MPM) keep you chins up ( not imlying double chins but that there is more than one newbie), welcome to the new comers- believe it or not, you will get through it and you have found a great place to come and "let it all hang out"- we support one another and have a great gab here- and not always about CA!
as the world has so much more to offer us- just look in the right places after you weather the storm. I see rainbows in your future. Love ya all! Melissa 15180 -
Spar I hope you don't mind- I changed my avatar to your hearts (love them) as I had idenity theif this week too- almost forgot to report that.
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Melissa1518...
I finally know who you are again!
Is the ID theft just on the computer or in real life too?
What happened?
pam
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Oh - well that was so strange as I logged on to my bank account to see a $599.98 pending charge out of my checking account- my husband does not even have an ATM card to this account ail though his name is on it too. I immediately called the bank and told them this was NOT MY CHARGE- they looked to see about other suspicious charges and noticed that there had been a denial for a Jet Blue charge also- the bank filled out reports and put the money back in my account- of course this caused an overdraft fee as many of my bills are paid through and automatic bill payment plan that I have set up- but I was reimbursed and it is too soon to tell where the ATM was used. I changed my avatar and my sign on name.
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StillVerticle,I just saw your message today, thanks, I didn't check the board yesterday because after the blood transfusion, and going for a Reiki session when I got home I could hardly walk. My hip is bothering me to the point that I can barely lift my leg. My doctor actually prescribed Cipralex for my anxiety and I've been told that it'll take at least 3 weeks for it to work, but I'm taking it and the psychologist that I'm seeing I can only see 3 times. This psychologist is part of the Wellsprings Support place that I found and it looks like they only allow three visits. I'm going to talk to my oncologist about going to see a psychiatrist, because she did mention it, but I told her about the psychologist and she said to do that first. The psychologist gave me a few tips and some home work to do and I will see her again the last week in Feb. I'm giving it a try.
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I haven't been here for awhile -- been dealing with family issues and work and another, much less serious medical problem. Have definitely been thinking of all of you who are dealing with the big snowstorm on the east coast and hope you are digging out by now.
My dad, who is 83, is in the later stages of emphysema and is currently battling pneumonia. His youngest daughter lives in the same town as him and has been looking in on him, but he seems to have decided that he's had enough. My young sister is having a very hard time with the fact that Dad won't go to the doctor or the hospital. It's a difficult situation, but he's extremely stubborn and there isn't a thing wrong with his mind so he can make his own decisions.
My newest medical problem is prolapse -- it's like having cramps all the time. I see a specialist in a couple of weeks to figure out what can be done and hope nothing falls out between now and then. It's very strange to walk along and feel like your insides are coming out. Sorry if that is TMI!
Welcome to all the newbies -- you are in a wonderful, supportive place here. We're all in different places in the same boat with BC.
Bonnie
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Geez Bonnie! I know exactly what you mean! I first had a prolapse right after my 2nd Daughter was born, then many years later, my BLADDER!!! I had a hysterectomy, & they tied up my bladder...then it came down again! Then I think at least 1 or 2 years later, I had a "Sacrospinus Ligament Suspension".....Very painful recovery, but it stayed up pretty good for awhile....It is lower again...but doesn't seem to want to fall out when I walk!
It would be more comfortable if it did, I think! I hope you get some relief with your problem, with-out surgery. My friend was told she might have to wear a "Pessary" to keep hers in the general vicinity it was intended, & because she has to pee all the time! But so far, she has not had to.And Yes, Kathleen....He thinks I'm supposed to act like nothing happened? It's just hard, because I love him so much, & he can be sooooo sweet...but STILL! I'm not one for confrontations.... but when I get the chance, I will kindly advise him that I will leave, & go stay at my Daughter's house for the night, if he feels compelled to pull that stunt again! It used to hurt, but after awhile, you just get numb.....and mad.
I'm so sorry Melissa 1519....I've always been afraid of that! And I know it happens, but thank God you got your Bank straightened out!
Tarry....just hang in there kid....you're trying to do everything you can.....I hope your hip starts feeling better.....we're here for you....you are one of us "mighty pods!"
Loved the picture! SoCalLisa!!!!! So appropriate!
Okay girls! Love you! Jeannette xoxoxoxo
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Melissa1519,
So good you were on top of things and stopped it in its tracks! We had a similar event with a credit card. Turned out a NEIGHBOR was stealing our mail! He tried to use a credit card that had not been activated. They say it is often someone you know or who knows you. Isn't that just a shame?
I'm mostly lurking here. Love to hear from and about you all.
pam
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Count me in for loving the picture as I am a huge Daisy lover. M1518....I think the Dr's like to say no big deal as almost all of us have had the cancer for many years before it is finally "discovered", and while we probably don't need to be in the quite the rush we feel necessary....I just imagine -- how much better for our mental health if we did not have to hear it put in such an offhand way. We may not be terribly significant to the Dr. but there are lots of others, including ourselves.
I had immediate and huge ( coming from inside me -- soul to soul ) trust of my surgeon and she did use that statement....but I found it at that time more a gentle statement of facts as she knew them, and it did not seem offhand or dismissive of me as a scared ( totally terrified and ready to bargain ) patient. So I did not have my surgery for nearly a month -- and this did give time for the many tests I had which left me in the clear for needing only a path report.
What happened with your bank is really horrid as well Melissa. I think it is getting somewhat common -- Dh has been hit twice now and it is a real pain. He is not as cautious as he should be and I am constantly peeking over his shoulder at his dealings hoping that he is using enough care. There are way too many ways for those who are not honest to defraud and get our numbers etc. It is a sad fact that the way things are done our information is out there. I think one of these years things will be done with special scanners that read the iris of our eyes and it will become much easier to identify those who are up to no good.
Well, have to order lunch.....will see you all later. I haven't said all your names but know that you all remain on my mind and in my heart.
Warm and healing hugs, Jackie
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Alyson, loved the cartoon! Like the woman, I don't have any estrogen either. But I take Effexor and don't need the gun!!!
SoCal, lovely picture of the daisies. Made me smile.
Last year someone tried to use our main credit card at a restaurant in Italy and also tried to charge plane tickets. Capital One denied the charges, called us to verify we hadn't made them. Then cancelled the card and sent a new one. No problems.
We had lovely snow flurries here in south Louisiana this morning! Some accummulation but now the white has melted away. Sun was trying to peek out earlier. It's about 40 degrees. Several Mardi Gras parades in NO had to cancel last night. This has been a cold Mardi Gras season.
A good Friday to all.
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Oh God, I so needed to see a pix of a big heart of daisies!! And loved the "I have a gun" and thanks so much for verifying that the doctors are the lunatics and we are just trying to get well in the middle of DR lunacy (I think they are sucking on chemicals in the back room). OK, I saw the new ONC from Chapel Hill this AM. He took my BP and it was 70/50. He damned near died and wanted to admit me to hopsital immediately. I told him this was fairly normal and my Onc who referred me for second opinion (the evil ONC) had never bothered about it at all. The Good ONC could not believe it-when I stood up-he did a BP and it was 183/110-that sent him into the ozone. Finally great to see a concerned doctor!!!!! And he had me in the ER AGAIN (2nd time this week) getting bags of fluid and heart checked. ERRGH. Just got home-exhausted! Onc from ChapelHill and I eventually had long talk and I loved him-very caring. He did tell me that I am one of the rare women who has reacted adversly to Tamoxotere-that is like a delayed allergic reaction. But he did say he had not seen it quite as bad as my reactions. He did offer hope in another chemo drug if i chose that. But he did not give me a great prognosis. I had no idea my tumor was agressive until today. Truly my only hope is to try to wien off Prempro again and go on the five year drug with rads. Very discouraging as he tells me there is a 28% chance of cancer returning if I do nothing; 22% if I do chemo: 11-16% if I get off Prempro and do rads and take the 5 year drug. I think (i taped it so have to listen to it). Just Too much to get my head around. Need a nap but I wanted to file an initial report with the POD SQUAD. Will read up on all posts and write something longer tonight if possible. AND I do have presents ready in piles, just need to pack them and send them-so get ready for surprises!! Love you all, SV
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Hi Pods! I found this recipe, but we could even start with one of those Pillsbury refrigerated pizza dough things! And Melissa...SV...so glad you are finally with a team that sounds like they care, & really BELIEVE you! Did you say Tamoxifen caused some of this? Let me know.....Because I would rather keep taking this instead of Femara or Arimidex... and I'm sorry you are finding out more about your cancer than you thought! But I would THINK, that that dose of chemo that you GOT would somehow kill every living thing running around in your little body! It darned near took YOU out, so hopefully you won't have to worry about MORE surprises!
And Bonnie....It is soooooo hard trying to take care of someone you love, when you KNOW they are just tired, & don't want to try any longer! My Dad died mostly from a broken heart, I think, after my Mom died...He just wanted to give up....His health was terrible also, & would only go see about it when he HAD to.....But it all caught up with him....He just died of "everything"... But I feel bad for his youngest....she just wants to hold on to him........(((((( hugs to her ))))))))
Okay girls...I think I'll wait to bake that pie when I get some GOOD tomatoes, ha! But it sure looks good! Love you! xoxoxoxo
Tomato Pie
One of the great things about going on vacationis I get to hang out with my friends, and sometimes meet their friends, who sometimes have OMG-this-is-so-GOOD dishes that they bring over. This tomato pie recipe is a result of one of these encounters. The first time I heard of it ("tomato pie", hmm, oooookaaaay) my brain suffered a little cognitive dissonance (never heard those two words, tomato and pie, joined at the hip like that before). Seconds after taking a bite however, I was begging for the recipe. Many thanks to Diane Connolly (aka Lady Di) who graciously wrote it out on some post-it notes for me at the dinner table. It is the first thing I cooked when I got back home. Think pizza meets cheesy bread and they make-out in a pie crust. The recipe lends itself to estimates. Handfuls of this, handfuls of that. I measured, but you could eyeball it and it would still work out. Feel free to change the cheeses around, play with the spices. I made a homemade pie crust, but for this recipe a good quality prepared crust would work fine.
If you want to take this recipe up a notch, you can caramelize the onions while prepping the other ingredients. If you do that, double the amount of onion.
Ingredients
- 1 9-inch pie shell (see pie crust recipe for homemade version)
- 1/2 yellow or red onion, chopped
- 3-4 tomatoes, cut in half horizontally, squeezed to remove excess juice, roughly chopped, to yield approximately 3 cups chopped tomatoes
- 1/4 cup sliced basil (about 8 leaves)*
- 2 cups grated cheese (combination of sharp cheddar and Monterey Jack, or Gruyere or Mozarella)
- 3/4 cup mayonnaise
- 1 teaspoon (or more to taste) of Frank's Hot Sauce (or Tabasco)
- Salt and freshly ground black pepper
*To slice basil, chiffonade them by stacking the leaves on top of each other, roll them up like a cigar, starting at one end slice the "cigar" crosswise in thin slices.
Method
1Preheat oven to 350°F. Place pie shell in oven and cook for 8-10 minutes or longer until lightly golden. If you are starting with a frozen crust, you'll need to cook it a little longer. If you are using a homemade crust, freeze the crust first, then line the crust with aluminum foil and pre-bake it for 20 minutes, then remove the foil and bake an additional 10 minutes.
2 Squeeze as much moisture as you can out of the chopped tomatoes, using either paper towels, a clean dish towel, or a potato ricer.
3Sprinkle the bottom of the pre-cooked pie shell with chopped onion. Spread the chopped tomatoes over the onions. Sprinkle the sliced basil over the tomatoes.
4 In a medium bowl, mix together the grated cheese, mayonnaise, Tabasco, a sprinkling of salt and freshly ground black pepper. The mixture should be the consistency of a gooey snow ball. Spread the cheese mixture over the tomatoes.
5 Place in oven and bake until browned and bubbly, anywhere from 25 to 45 minutes.
Serves 6.
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I am so grateful for this post for "Seasoned Women" I was dx IBC Triple Positive double mastectomy, chemo, radiation and am alerigic to the tax and amr. I need to ask a question, I had surgery over 1 year ago, chemo for a year and 35 radiation. My focus is shot, my memory sucks, I have no energy at all and have gained weight all through treatment and look nine months pregnenant especially with no boobs. My docs say well at least you are cancer free. I may be 62 but shouldn't there be life after surviving. I tried to talk to some younger women and they are all poerky and full of energy. I had triple chemo and it did weaken my heart, I do not have a support system as I was always the rock of the family, the one who made everyone else feel good, now they are all hiding. Any suggestions to feel better?
Thanks
Lost somewhere, I don't know where
Carol
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Carol, hang in there. I am at work, leaving very soon to go to work at my friends and will be minus a computer till I get home later tonight. You have just stumbled onto a most wonderful place and there will be lots of hand holding and great commiseration from the ladies here. Yes -- many of us got lost.....but just remember...there is safety in numbers. You are not alone. Talk to you again soon.
Warm hugs, Jackie
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I have been to see my Aunt today, she lives in a nursing home, and has Alzheimer's, has had for 6 years now, and just had a major change in her condition.
She has suddenly, well, since Christmas, started talking totally unintelligibly (sp ?) She was moved out to an acute psychiatric unit last week....and I had to agree to her being 'sectioned' yesterday...I feel really bad about it, but she was refusing to let anyone take her BP, take bloods, and just generally check her out. I was there yesterday, and she set up a terrible high pitched wailing just because they wanted to do her BP. Being the 'legal next of kin' I have to make the decisions now, and I hate doing it. I was told they would have to 'restrain' her to do these simple tests. I agreed it had to be done 'so get on with it'...and today was met by my Aunt with a terrible black eye. Her forehead had a quite deep graze above the black eye, about 3"x1", her black eye was about 5" across,and extended right down her cheek, and the white of her eye was blood red, and she looked terrible, staring and haunted.
The explanation I got was 'she fell, in the garden' In the garden? In February? in sleety, freezing conditions.?...I don't think so...but can I hellaslike prove different. The garden is a LOCKED courtyard, never seen anyone out there, so how a 91 yr old managed to get the door combination, open it, go outside and fall, is beyond me...and I told them so. I asked for the manager, she was 'away at a conference....now, where have I heard that before ? asked for the 'named nurse' she 'wasn't in today'...asked for the doctor, who I had just seen arrive. He came up, after what seemed quite a long enough time to confer with staff, and he just blew me off, saying he wasn't there yesterday, and did I realise my Aunts age !!!!! Yes, I DO know her age, but I also know she has no idea at all what a door combination lock is, much less how on earth to fathom out the correct combination, reach up high, she is only 4' 11", and let herself outside....when she is supposed to be on ONE TO ONE nursing care. aaarrrggghh. I am banging my head against a wall here. I don't know where to go next. If all staff gang up and tell the same story I am losing the battle before its begun..
What I do know, is that even though she is on one to one, there are quite a lot of aggressive men, also on one to one. About 6/7 men and 6/7 nurses milling around the same area where my aunt sits quietly muttering to herself. One of these men came up to her at the w/end and told her to 'stop f88cking talking to herself'. Yesterday the same man came up to her and shouted to her she was a 'f888ing T88T' I jumped up, and rounded on him the second time and told him to get away from my aunt. His nurse just sat there passivly watching it all happen. Being fairly new to this place I don't want to start off on the wrong foot, but I think they saw I was mad today and was after answers, but I KNOW they also all had their stories matching, and it pretty much looks like I am not going to get answers.
Getting old is a horrible thing, we treat our old folk awfully mean, as if we want them to get on and die ! I'm not in a position to take my Aunt on, I just do not have the strength to be on 24 hour a day caregiving. The only way I could do it would be to employ a private live in nurse, and I don't want that. My house would never be my own....that sounds awful..but would impact on the rest of the household too much. My Aunt has the cash to pay for this, but I think I will have to pass on this, and hope I can return her to her nursing home when she gets a bit more coherent...if she ever does.
Somehow. wondering which dogs are having their baths tomorrow ( we have a rota, and my g/son and I ALWAYS have an argument on a Saturday morning about this !!!! .....he works for me on a Sat. ) seems to pale into insignificance. We seem to waste about 10 mins every Saturday, trying to remember who was bathed last week, and as soon as a lot of the dogs see him walk in they scoot under the table and chairs trying to get out of his reach !
Welcome to the new ladies.
Isabella.
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Hi Ladies,
I haven't been on board for a while--just trying to get things together for myself. So I just want to say hello to the new ladies and that you are in good supportive company here.
Isabella that is awful about your aunt. I would make an appointment with the manager of the facility in which she lives. She might have scraped her cheek, but a black eye! It sounds as if there is a cover up. When my mother was in a "nursing home" we hired two "spies". They would just show up at random times as close friends of the family. They would chat with my mother, comb her hair, do things that a niece might do. The home never knew that they were not family friends. And since they came at least twice a day, and the staff never knew when, we found that my mother's care was better. If your aunt has alot of money,perhaps hiring one or two "spies" might keep the facility on their toes. It is just a thought.
I am from the Northeast US and we have been blanketed with over 44 inches of snow this week. Now I live right down town so I can walk most places.Our block has been plowed, we don't have much land so shoveling is not bad...and I love snow so the kid in me is happy when it snows. Now I have not made snow angel or gone running in the snow, but I did take a couple of nice long walks.
anyway, take care all. Cyber hugs.
Mandy
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