Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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SV...I'm fascinated with your wild horses. I noticed them in the submerged car, too. They are gorgeous. You said that they've been around for years, but how long did it take before they'd let you approach them....like in the picture? As for your choice of treatment plan (or no treatment plan) I make no judgment. You (and you alone) are the only person who can make your decisions. Nobody really knows what is the right or wrong way to fight this disease. Sometimes I think we just need to follow our gut feelings.
Jo, you are so right. That anxiety never seems to leave us. I have my oncology appointment tomorrow. The bloodwork was taken last week so I'll get the results tomorrow and I'm very "antsy" tonight. I could have written your post about post-cancer conditions. You said it perfectly and it helps to have somebody else express the same feelings that I'm feeling. There is security in the POD.
I'm heading for my recliner for the night. I'll be back tomorrw.
Rita
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how about POD SISTERS like Connie07 used -
Boy oh boy, StillV you do have your plate too full, I didn't read back far enough as see the prempro info, I have a friend that HAS to have it too, or she don't function at all, I actually liked the way I felt while being on it, was given to me for osteoprosis prevention, so I never had hot flashes or whatever else menopause brings, took it for 12 years and felt good all along. Doc took me off Prempro in about 2003 or so, and I think physically I aged 10 years, still miss it but do get by without, so sorry to hear you cannot.
Congrats on the 21 years sober, what an acomplishment.
Everyone, take care,
dsgirl
PS I am still flying high on my results of yesterday, am sure I will land soon, back in reality land.
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how 'bout "POD-sters"?
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Tomorrow is my surgery day. When I can function again I'll let ya'll know how things went. Have agood one. Chris
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Oh Dearest Chris, my prayers are with you on the surgery!!! Hoping it is quick and painless and you have a strong recovery. Most of all, i hope you are happy with results. And Jackie, i have worked with horses all of my life-mustangs out west-and just have always had an affinity for them.These horses are innocent and are very curious.They fear people but I just took my time like 12 hours a day and sat with a particular herd. My greatest WOW, was when Mom had her foal and she brought her over to me to show her off (I have pics of that event). The foal just lay down beside me and i just cried. i am enormously patient with wild animals. These horses are off of the Spanish galleons that shipwrecked and the horses swamtoshore.They are DNA traced to Spain to horses of over 400-500 years old. They were bred small and sturdy to fit into the hull of the Spainish sailing ships , You can google "Corolla Wild Horses" and get info. XXOO, SV
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Thanks pj12345 at least I now know that even 2years is possible. Not naturally a patient person, but if yours has gone mine probably will too. Haven't got blister yet, oncology nurse told me to get plain unperfumed aqueous cream and that seems to be working so far, also very inexpensive.
This list is a mine of information and experience , you are all beyond valuation..priceless!
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Morning girls! I learn so much from each of you, by just reading what you are doing, & your experiences in life! SVMELISSA, thanks for updating us on your Dad, I think...Sounds like he can take care of himself....And should! It just seems like your life has been off of one roller-coaster ride to another...only you get some redeeming moments in-between. Yes, it sounds like a living hell sometimes for you....and then you having to go through something like cancer to boot! Thank God you have "someone" to take you away for awhile...and spending time with that Dave ....Sounds like he is your main Guardian Angel! And you have "your horses," your photography, poems, your special dogs, & your sense of humor! You just have to rely on them...& yourself for your happiness. Doesn't sound like it's ever gonna change, with your home situation... & I don't think you expect it to. You have accomplished so much in your life....and you have blessed so many peoples lives! We love reading about you, & all of the "off the wall" comments you make! So this is your home....with us. Just DLTBGYD!
And YES! We love cash cab, Ha! We watch it every morning here! Alyson, will you still get to come to Denver? And does your leg feel better now that you are getting treatment?
Chris...waiting to hear from you....xoxoxoxoxxoxo
I'm going to research Tamoxifen, & see if there is any way to know if the reason I am not having side-effects, is an indication that I am not metabolizing it well. I am expecting a call back from the Oncologist...I asked about the CYP2D test...that would confirm if I was. If that's the case, I might try Femara...But I won't if I know the Tamoxifen is working...and that I'm just one of the lucky ones with no side effects. There are a lot of links on this site, so I'm going to start there and see if the "good" metabolizers had any side effects.
Love you gals.... Jeannette
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NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN
DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out!
ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.
PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, 'You make me want to be a better person. '
BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat
ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.
I just got this in an email, & thought it was funny!
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Podettes: 60s whale singing group with BC
Podsters: 70s whale Formula 1 racing team with BC
Podules: 80s whale astronaut corps with BC
Poderators: 90s whale political moderators with BC
Poddies: 60s whale counter culture with BC
Podists: 70s whale nudists with BC
Poddites: 1800s whale activitists opposed to technology with BC
Podlets: 2000 whale starlets with BC
Podttiess: 2010 whale seniors who need a restroom quickly...with BC
are there more poddibilities?
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Chevyboy... That is hysterical! Thanks for starting the day off right!
pam
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I spit coffee ALL over my keyboard. thanks chevy. I needed that. A quick fly by as I continue to sort and pack for moving and dealing with Mom and the nursing home and bills and IRS and various aches and pains and cold weather. I think that about covers it all... Hugs for all, Nancy
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Super hysterical Pam & SV.....Go ahead, make my day....I love it.
Jackie
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Hi everyone, I have been reading or trying to catch up on the posts. StillVerticle I am sorry to hear about your car, hope that it can be fixed and Chevyboy those drugs are really funny, made me laugh for the first time in a few days. I wasn't around on Sunday and Monday because I was in emerg for those two days. I had an itchy rash that formed on the back of my hand and since I was told if you get any rashes let your doctor know. So I went to Urgent Care and from there they sent me to the main hospital because my white blood count was very low. I was monitored overnight in emergency, then my Nurse Practioner managed to get me up to the Oncology floor ,where they gave me Neupogen and antibiotics and today is the first day that I felt good enough to go on the computer. Now I don't know what to do, I want to go out but I'm scared of catching something from other people, but I don't want to stay inside and I'm starting to get panicky again. I had to cancel my appointment with my psychologist twice , once because of the weather and then because I was in the hospital, now I don't know when I'll get to see her again, My last chemo is on March 11 and the oncologists tells me that after that they need to clean up the margin (another surgery) I don't want to go through another surgery ( the first one was pretty bad). So you can see I'm a little stressed here.
Thanks for being here to listen
Tarry
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I am hereby warning you -- this is going to be a long post as I have been away for a while and had to catch up ... so far I am up to SV-Melisa's post of February 27. I will read the rest later because I don't want to miss anyone.
I had a double mastectomy. That's it. Yet I still have many of the problems you gals have who have had other treatments. I don't get it. I guess its old age.
Jackie ... Your post hit home big time: If you deal with life not in the present you will tend to use answers from that past that won't really fit the situation now as we are always in a new unit of time. Same can be said for trying too hard to live in the future based on what the past has been like -- it generally is not a sufficient answer and causes much stress and worry....especially when they same things we are TRYING so hard to plan for don't materialize.
Being in your present completely makes available to you much better solutions to things as they are based on the exact present -- nothing else and they are much simpler and easier and life is not the effort that it often becomes to us.
You just described my life. Too often I allow lessons learned in a dysfunctional family to affect my present and to look to the future for I don't know what. They say the definition of crazy is to keep behaving the same way hoping for a different outcome.
Connie ... while mine were just "D's" one of my friends had double "D's" when one of our co-workers commented "boy, I bet your shoulders are so relieved when you take your bra off."
Melissa ... how wonderful to see you again. You were sorely missed! BTW, I have been meaning to tell you I like your tail quote at the end of your posts about developing a personality! You Mom's place sounds wonderful. Can I adopt her and go live with her?
StillVertical ... your avatar tickles me ... when my heart stopped in the cardiologist's office and I had to be jump started, at the next visit he said "nice to see your vertical again." So sorry about the aches and pains - boy, can I relate! I once remarked that while I knew you go downhill after 50, I did not know it would be all at once! BTW, I have that same hat! You look adorable! BTW, you ARE hilarious.
Spar ... I can so empathize with you. My diabetic foot ulcer was almost completely healed when I left rehab -- not on constant IV antibiotics and totally off of it, it is open again. Grrrrrrrr. I try to stay off of it but its not like I have anyone to do for me. Honestly, I didn't think I would look back fondly on rehab!
Chris ... I was going to have lasik surgery (if my vision at the time could not have been corrected with glasses or contact lenses) I would have been legally blind. When I went for a consultation the doctor said I had baby cataracts and would need cataract surgery where they replace your lenses with corrected lenses - behind your eye - and it was all covered by insurance! Loved you post (Don't worry ...). So true! BTW, bc taught me that what I really wanted was for someone, anyone to do the things I can't AND do it MY way.
Isabella ... Isn't it infuriating when you've taken care of so many people for so many years and when you need help you get "I'll call you in the morning?" and you never hear back unless they need something. As for trees, when my sister mentioned three of her cypress trees were down, I couldn't imagine it until I saw them. It is as if a large hand came down and pushed them until they bent and touch the ground. They are still planted in the ground ... just bent over. But seriously, you need to rest and lower your stress level.
Tarry ... what's wrong with your hip? I remember you said you had pain there but can't remember why.
Jo ... always the voice of reason. Its nice to have a grounding force. Until I read some of the things you write I have a tendency to go off.
I don't think second guessing does any good for anyone. I keep thinking I overreacted when they said I had bc. I think maybe I should have done someting else. But is always comes back to my original reasons for having a bimx.
To all who need it healing vibes to you.
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Kathleen,
I had a hp replacement in 2003, then I fell twice and think I knocked something loose, then I was told that I have bursitis in that same leg and now every time the weather gets bad rain or snow my leg hurts like anything. For instance today, since there is no type of moisture, my leg is feeling a little better. I can walk around the house with out the cane.
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Dear All,
I know I may be repeating myself, but it must be OK because I am a Poddie, please get you Vitamin D3 levels checked and take supplemental D3 until your blood levels reach at least 60. There is tons of information on the Vitamin D threads. Be sure to take magnesium (250 mg/day) and calcium (1200mg/day) as well.
Bone pain that has an indeterminate cause can be due to low Vitamin D3.
Here is a chart that was discussed at a symposium sponsored by University of California at San Diego. http://www.grassrootshealth.net/media/download/disease_incidence_prev_chart_101608.pdf
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Hi Jo-5,
In a post yesterday (?) we were discussing "who" posted on here and you mentioned sometimes family and friends who did not have BC and sometimes people who pretended to have BC for inexplicable reasons. It reminded me of a close relative's experience 25-30 years ago...
A "distant" relative was diagnosed with breast cancer. She received lots of sympathy and support but ultimately died within a few years (another story). But it was probably the impetus for the following events:
"Close" relative had a lot of emotional problems, didn't feel loved, worthy, stuff like that, and was always exaggerating things to gain attention. A questionable pap test required some follow up visits and "close" relative began to tell acquaintances she had cancer. Her diagnosis was always shifting from one body part to another, her treatment plan was never firm. She shaved her hair off and told friends it had fallen out due to chemo which she did not have of course. While on vacation from work she told people she had surgery but did not. Close family were involved enough in her life to know none of it was true but outsiders believed her. I had a mutual friend accost me for failing to support "close" relative during her illness. I was speechless and too embarrassed for the family to "out" my relative. So the charade went on about three months. She did not do it for material gain, she did not cheat anyone, she was just desperate for compassion. If there had been a BC.com she would have been here spinning her tale!
I was a lot younger and had less life experience to understand the "illness" that afflicted "close" relative. I think I could do a better job of helping her work through her mental problems now. But happily, a lot of the negative things in "close" relative's life got resolved and today she is a much more stable person. I still see hints of the old patterns but she no longer takes them to such extremes and is able to live a happy and socially acceptable and productive life.
So my own experience makes me accept what ever need these people have, even if I do not understand it. Mostly I think they are crying out for help... it's just hard to know what is the right thing to do for them. My family never confronted "close" relative on this or her other flights of fancy. I guess we were guilty of playing the game with her. I'm just so glad that life moved forward for her and she no longer needs to create such elaborate fantasies to feel valued.
On a lighter note... she was the one who claimed to have cancer and I was the one who got it! How is that fair?
pam
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If you ever plan a trip to Southern California this is a must stay place.
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Chevy and Pam........Hey you two gave us a good Thursday laugh and you've got all the bases covered! Thanks for the "pick me upper!"
I just got back from the onc's and my bloodwork and counts looked good. Whew! Now I can draw a sigh of relief and keep on moving for another few months. I don't think I'll ever get to the point where I can view these visits as "routine." I hardly slept at all last night. Goofy, eh?
Kathleen.........so good to see a post from you. I've missed ya!
Pam...our weather here is nice and sunny for a March day in Illinois. Has your sunshine and heat returned to FL yet?
Well, I'm off to visit a friend who's in the midst of chemo for a chatty afternoon. All of you take care,
Rita
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Too much vitamin D3 would be amounts in excess of 10,000 IU per day. So no worries at 4000 IU.
You are taking calcium so that's good. Don't forget to take magnesium. Both are needed with the intake of D3. Try 250 mg magnesium per day. If you get loose stool, cut the pill in half.
My sister was always complaining of hip and leg pain. She spent a small fortune on chiropractic. I begged her to get her D3 levels checked. Finally after two years of suffering she got tested. Her level was 16ng/ml. She had osteomalacia, a softening of her bones. She has been on 4000 IU for 3 weeks and her hip and leg pain is almost gone.
I think it is negligence that doctors don't routinely test Vitamin D3 levels of their patients. There is a direct link between low levels of Vitamin D3 and all forms of cancer. This is because Vitamin D3 is not act as a vitamin but acts like a hormone helping cells prevent genetic breaks. Vitamin D3 is not a sex hormone so don't worry if you are ER+PR+.
Please go to the Vitamin D threads on this board and read the links and watch the videos.
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Morning to the POD, hope your are fine.
CHevy, I will be in Denver on May 6. still have to book hotels which I will sort out today. Any suggestions, need to be Downtown I am told. I will have more PT on it before I go and then see what they want to do but I don't think it will be much now.
Jo, is I will certainly wear a brace of some sort on my knee. Have a pull on one I was given when I did it butw ill get a firmer one. Pleased to know someone else does't like the ones with the hole in the middle, probably wouldn't fit anyway as the knee cao is out ofplace because of arthritis.
I haven't had vitD levels checked, I don't think they do then readily here, but I do take a supplement when I remember.
SV are you behaving yourself today? And Isabella I hope your are getting some rest.
Big hugs to every one
Alyson
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Ritajean,
This year is the coldest I have ever seen in Florida. Living here since 1959! It was 36F this AM, 55F when I walked a little while ago. The wind is icy but the sun is shining and that makes up for a lot. I have a "snowbird" neighbor from Wisconsin who says she is freezing but admits it would be colder there.
Yesterday there were three porpoises in our lake, actually a cut off of the intracoastal. That is a rare sighting for us. Can't imagine why they were here as all the fish froze and died when it was really cold back a month ago . Just tourists I guess. Other exciting nature news: an elderly neighbor went out to get her newspaper last week and was attacked by a rabid raccoon. The man across the street heard her screams and came out and was able to subdue the animal. They are both having to undergo rabies treatment. I thought animals only got rabies in the summer! Now the city is warning everyone to not feed feral animals, not even cats of which we have plenty. I am carrying a golf club on my walks now but I just don't see myself fighting off a rabid animal with a golf club :-( I think I would only succeed in making it more angry!
Sitting in the house looking out the windows you would think it was 80F. Sunny, green, blue sky, nice day. It's that brutal cold wind you all keep sending us. I'm ready for spring. My op'd side arm is still tight and I really want to swim as recommended by my radiologist but air and water temps are going to have to be a lot warmer.
Alyson,
You are in for a shock, going from your late summer to our early spring in Colorado. It might be beautiful but might still be cold. Are you also going to the Chicago area? Do you come to the US often? Quite a flight! At least you have two months for your leg to heal. Or does your trip begin earlier than the Denver part?
Jo-5,
I don't know what would/could have happened if my family had treated "close" relative differently. Even as a child I recognized how much she suffered and could never have said anything to shatter the facade she created to protect herself. It was really only when my now husband came in to the family that he, as an outsider, began to ask me questions and I began to understand how weird things were. Before that it was just the family dynamic. That was not long before the cancer episode which was the most public and egregious of her episodes. But you know, there are lots of us strange people out here...I'm sure I have my peculiarities too. Like I said, somehow life turned around for her. Although my kids still think of her as the family wacko :-) But, we in the south don't ask IF you have a crazy relative, just which side of the family?
pam
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I should be working but I am waiting on a phone call so sitting her drinking a cup of tea.
Yes Pam it is a long way but when you live at the end of the earth it is something that you are programmed to do and so many of us from NZ and Aus spend a lot of time travelling. Most of our young ones do their OE spending a few years in UK and Europe, a few to Canada and then the US. With friens, relations and children in the UK and Ireland we tend to go straight there. Have only been to LA and that was a very long time ago, its a long trip via the US - as you are going back in time. We leave here on Saturday at 9.30pm and arrive in LA at 2.30 pm same day.
We have had to cut out Chicago this time but that is for the future as are Vancouver, New England and the Eastern Canadian Provinces which are all on my bucket list.Especially Prince Edward Island - I am very jealous of DD2 as she is getting there in July when they go to Canada for a wedding and to investigate a move to Toronto, taking my little one away. Oh well another place to visit- they are planning to go for a couple of years probably in about a year.
Blessing from my today and your tomorrow.
Alyson
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Hi Alyson,
How dare they take away our grandchildren!!! My DD got married, moved to so California, took her cat with her (!), then had the nerve to have a baby! So hard to have a relationship from such a distance with the little ones. But the world is a smaller place now and young people have no limits.
We went to a wedding in Nantucket, then had 8 days to waste before we had to be in New Hampshire so drove through Maine, New Brunswick, took the ferry to Newfoundland and Nova Scotia... great trip but DH was sick first half, I was sick second half. It is all a blur! Would love to do it again, healthy.
Beautiful country.
pam
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Hi Gals! Alyson...hope to see you on your trip! I have an 11a/m Mammogram on the 6th, but maybe the next day? Or whenever you are able, I can meet you downtown somewhere....Or, are you driving? I live about 10 minutes west of town...in Old NorthWest Denver, near where Elitch's amusement park used to be...There are fun places over here for coffee or lunch! And I know there are a lot of hotels down-town....I guess just google Denver Hotels, & see what comes up & what their rates are....Man, I wish I could help, but I don't stop in the middle of the city too often, but I do go to Cherry Creek sometimes.....Are you going to be here on business?
Pam...It is really interesting to read your story....I think we can all relate to someone like that in our own families! I have a "close" relative also, that shrugged off all of my offers to take her to lunch, for coffee, or just to come by, after her Husband died......And would never return a phone call...Finally I just gave it up.....What else can you do? I think she is "better" now, and sends me a "greeting" card, but I think she wants her "place" alone, & likes her life without any friends. She has a Sister, & Sons, but no friends or other relatives that she wants to see. So maybe that is enough for her....I learned to just "let it go".....
I LOVED your "Podettes" descriptions....Very good, Ha! Did you make all that up? So cute!
And our Oldest Daughter also lives in Florida! She can't believe how cold it has been either! It is soooooo nice here today in Denver, like 60 in the sun...& mornings are the same as Florida, Ha!
Jo....I know what you are trying to say, and you really helped me, telling me that my Surgeon was probably just as good as a Breast Surgeon! Actually, she was great! And the surgery was perfect...But we just all have to read & process as much as we can, & we finally "get it'....when someone is "off kilter"....And now, I just read as much as I can, listen to other women tell about their experiences....like with Tamoxifen.....AND Femara....Then I can make up my own mind. Sure Doctors are good, but they cannot answer all the questions like you other women who have been in this same boat...I mean Pod!
2 months ago, when I started the Tamoxifen, I also started the vitamins that I read about on HERE! I take fish oil with Omega 3...VitD3...Glucosamine...Calcium & for that heart-burn, the Aloe Vera mixed in the smoothies! I figure I MUST be doing something right, with all those pills rattling around in there!
SoCalLisa....beautiful pictures! My folks lived in the Bay area, & I loved it soo much when I could visit! I went on a "girls trip" one time with my Daughters...To San Francisco, Sausalito, then drove down the coast to Monterey.... So beautiful! California is just a jewel!
Till tomorrow! xoxoxoxo Jeannette
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Hey PODS! QUICK NOTE RIGHT NOW AS I AM PRINTING OFF POSTS (THEY WILL SELF DESTRUCT IN 20 MIN OR SO). "MOBY DICK" WAS TOWED HOME TODAY AND MY POOR DEAR IS TOAST. I HAD SOME REALLY GOOD CAR GUYS OUT TO LOOK AT IT AND NOT WORTH THE EFFORT TO FIX IT. WATERE WAS STILL RUNNING OUT OF IT WHEN LARRYWOED IT IN. DAD AND BROTHER SO RUDE TO LARRY 'BECAUSE HE CHARGED $500.00" FOR SAVING MY ASS AND KEPT TRYING TO SAY THAT THEY ARE LOCALS AND SHOULD GET A DISCOUNT. LARRY IS A VERY SHY MAN WHO HAS THE BIGGEST HEART AND I LOST IT! THEN MY DAD AND I GOT IN A REALLY UGLY FIGHT-I AM SO TIRED OF LIVING WITH TWO DRUNKS (AWFUL LIFE SINCE MY BROTHER MOVED HOME). I JUST FEEL BROKEN HEARTED. I CAN COUNT ON MY DAD FOR SOME THINGS. HIS SHOWING UP FOR MY BC IS THE FIRST TIME HE HAS SHOW-UP FOR ME FOR ANYTHING SO I WAS STARTING TO THINK I COULD TRUST HIM AGAIN. BUT THEN HE FLIPS ON ME OR I ON HIM AND WORDS SPEW OUT OF MY MOUTH THAT SHOULD NEVER BE SAID (EVEN IF TRUE). SO MUCH FOR THE QUICK NOTE
((( AND CB RIGHT, MY LIFE IS LIKE A ROLLER COASTER. IT'S WHY I WAS SUCH A GOOD JOURNALIST. IN A SEOND NOTICE I WAS DROPPED BY HELICOPTER INTO SOME OF THE WORLD'S HOTTEST SPOTS AND BEGAN BROADCASTING AND WRITING IMMEDIATELY. I STILL LIVE ON THE INTERNAL CLOCK-ALWAYS HAVE. I AM LIKE A LIGHTENING ROD IF NOT OUT DOING MY PHOTOGRAPHY OR WORKING IN MY STUDIO AND WORKING ALONE-I DO NOT AND HAVE NEVER PLAYED WELL WITH MANY FOLKS. ALREADY TEEHEEING OVER CB AND PAM AND CLISA, THE PHOTOS ARE STUNNING! LOVE, SV0 -
DEAR PODS,Finally took time to try to get caught up on all. CHRIS-ANY NEWS??? How did things go today? If you are home-likely zonked at least I hope so. Angel prayers to you! And J., thank you so much for the 'my life and rollor coaster' post. THAT IS A TRUE SIGN THAT I AM NOT HITTING ENOUGH AA MEETINGS-so very helpful my dear. Rita, yeah for good blood tests. Alyson, I have to wear a fitted orthopedic knee brace-it holds my kneecap in place. I have needed a total knee replacement for over two years! It would be so cool if you get to Denver and find out what a true Redneck looks like-teehee. Pam, the idea of you chasing and whacking little rabid pets with a golf club-the visual image is enough. geesus, the poor woman and guy-they showed a rabid fox attack or a poor jogger-maybe that is how we will all go out-taken down by rabid cats. JO, right on the comments on the board-prayers for your mammo next tuesday-is this the first? notself-Vitamin D-does it come with viagra? Kathleen-so hard to know what to do and I think we always second and third guess ourselves. Personally, I have stopped all treatment and did not meet with my new ONC today. It is just too much for me anymore. As sick as I was and having my old onc abandon me over an issue is too painful. i cannot take a risk and be that sick again. We just don't have enough supporton the OBX. i simply do not want to deal with this anymore and docs have so many diff opinions and what are the true success rates? I cannot get any of them to commit. So do I live looking over my shulder or just pack up and go do the things I missed doing until I croak? For real. In my thinking, it is where do I want to die and it is with my old friends in Kanab, Utah. Now if I only had a car to get there-may need to just jump a bus! Spar-are you getting around ok at all? Jackie, read your 'deep thinking post' about the present and...and...I forgot already so I must be in the present. kathleen-sending love your way. Melissa (not me) wha'd up? Tarry are you in or out of the hospital-I got lost! Panic treatment, sometimes very deep breathing (not hyperventalating) but consistant for fifteen minutes, burns off the bad juju. It is an old trick we learned in early recovery when one's entire life is a panic attack! Call your ONC Nurse if you have questions or need support-and you are facing more surgery? what is up with that my dear and when? OMG CB and Pam, I hooted all the way through-I think that is a good thing! I am in between the "poddies and the Podists"! A nude hippie-even now as I sit at my 22nd age computor, i am neeked with a pink hat on and a sarf around my neck. I hate clothes! Oh the Poddibilities. and CB, what is up with Tamoxifen-when do you find out if you are normal and have no symptoms from the drug? hey Dotti for NZ-where are you in you treatment-blisters? man I got those the first day of chemo!! DS girl thanks for info and support. Few women can believe what it is like for those of use who cannot live off of HRT's. I am just so sad and do not know what to do-quality life now/ or try again and fall into another disaster. i just feel too old to be doing backflips for BC treatments. i just so need my Mom's wise counsel and I so miss her-just cried today. Anniversary of her death is coming up April 13. I truly hope I am on my way out west by then . Dad and brother are so abusive when drinking and brother is off meds again-he weighs 500 pounds at least and his depression and rage so profound. No solution here with them. Ad life is a terror. ERRGH, very tired and need to close. I have not been feeling good and feel the cold dump in swampwater and long hike out for help in 30-degree weather did not help things. I TULY LOVE YOU ALL, AND ANYONE I MISSED, SV
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Funny things happen sometimes. This morning I was trying to write and not having anyluck so decided to go for a walk, have coffee and get something for dinner tonight. Was almost at the supermarket when DD rang me and I wandered out of the shop I was in and up the road, in the wrong direction. When I had finished talking thought oh well will have coffee now. In the cafe was a young woman who had been our next door neighbour talking to some-one, she looked uptigjht and a bit upset. When she had finished her conversation she came over to speak to me. She said -'are you all cured now?' I didn't get a chance to answer as she looked as if she could cry. Her mother has just been diagnosed with BC and mets. She really wanted to hear that there was a cure. We talked for a long time about treatments etc. While we were talking a woman came in wearing a beautiful scarf and I commented quietly that there was a member of the chemo club.Gave Jane a big hug as she went to meet her friends and the woman said to me 'Cancer?' to which I replied yes. Joined her and had another chat, this time about fatigue and depression. All strange cause I wasn't going to that cafe this morning.
I am tired now and my knee is sore and I have work to do and its too hot. Thats my grump for the day.
Big hugs
Alyson
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Alyson, I am so glad you were there for her!! That is a God thing. SV
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Still Verticle....I'm sharing one of my favorite poems with you. I have always thought to myself if you want to STOP me you will just have to continue HITTING me until I don't get up anymore. Giving up and quitting is just not an option for me.
Now having to rest now and then -- or taking a rather long break -- those things happen, but I have to keep going no matter what:
Don't Quit
Anonymous
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and its turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When they might have won, had they stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.I know you have to do whatever you have to do and it is absolutely your choice and your absolute right to make a choice that you can be happy and satisfied about. I think I am hoping that you are not as yet hard and fast in your choice. Guess I was hoping all along you would at least see the second Oncologist and see what he had to say. Rather than more chemo ( although it was certainly a strong possibility ) he may have had a completely different program -- one that may have by-passed chemo altogether. You certainly would not have been required to follow any of his directives.
Anyway, I want you to be as well and as happy as you can be. It never matters how many times we fall down.....it only matters if we don't get up.
There is hope, even when there is not a lot else....if we keep getting up. I care very much about you.
Warm healing hugs,
Jackie
sorry about all the strange marks. copied and pasted funny and I thought there might be some.
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