Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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HI Everyone, You know when you haven't heard from me in a while that things are probably going downhill.
The birthday party is still pending, as, after the baby got sick, the mommy got sick, and the Nanny, (me) had to go and help cause DD said she was 'dying'. And she, they, were pretty darn sick for several days. (yeah, the stomach thing).. So, the Nanny got sick early Saturday morning and called to postpone. Protests, but OK. Then early Saturday morning the Pop (my dh) got it, so we had to postpone from Sunday... DD was beside herself, but she'll get over it. We'll plan it for next weekend and the pink crepe paper streamers can hang in the dining room another week.
Look as we have, we have not found a suitable place for DD and baby to live. The S-i-L (or baby daddy) could care less, prefering to keep his unemployment check rather than help support his wife and child. DD and baby will be moving in with us at the end of the month. She took a peek into our storage/exercise/extra bedroom and decided it wasn't as small as she thought it was. (It's still pretty small) but that's what has to be, for now. It will work because it has to.
I'm not opposed to her living here, not worried about late nights or chores, but I don't want the baby daddy visiting with them here. He makes me so ...quiet. AND I'M NOT QUIET. EVER. I just don't know who he is anymore, and I don't really want to start now.
Lovely pics, and AWESOME fairy garden. I wish for something that looks like that every year, but I mostly have foliage plants. Working on some hydrangeas and lantana. got an upside down tomato planter for christmas, it's begging to be let out of the box. Its been beautiful days here lately, I do have some stella d'oro day lilies that have sprouted their green leaves. But DH said that the Hickory is only beginning to bud it's new leaves, so winter is NOT over yet.
Yay for Moby, I had a feeling it might start up. Not a planter yet! Glad David doesn't have pneumonia. That would suck.
~C
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Isabella --- Now screaming all the way from southern Illinois....be careful please and do get in your scrubby clothes and use the LR. Ditto everything else.
Hugs, Jackie
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Oh Isabella, I am afraid you are quite stuck with your DH. And you do what i do with my DD. I 'bundle bits' of the garage up and toss them out anyway I can. i think i am beginning to see one wall. And as to bullies, very honestly, I am thinking of putting the 'rifle rack' back in the next truck I get. Carrying dogs is a REAL HELP and mine go with me everywhere! i do not get hassled-but i do worry about you. AND, if I was 41 and could wear Madonna corsettes, I'd be out there doing it!!! Why is family such a problem. The people that are supposed to love you, hate you. My brother and i got off on a screaming match (more my chemo brain and not being able to control my emotions) him and his drinking and absolute rage-and after two minutes i was exhausted and had to sit down-but he kept going like a psychotic nutcase. God, I so need my own place. And Connie, I am so sorry about relations with BIG D and 'if he visits the kids.' That is what the atmosphere is like around my brother. AND so sorry i think i dropped you off the page-I feel like i am under such stress i am not functioning. just found out that my father has cancer (prostate); now with a broken shoulder and eye surgery on Friday. I am just melting into 'teary' puddles today. And MO, Max's best doggie friend is being put down tomorrow. Gorgeous white lab who developed degenerative nerve condition and within weeks he can not use his back legs. I am just boo-hooing. Moby is gettting all vital fluids drained tonight and tomorrow noon, i should know if we can use the defib to bring her back to life!!! David is unfortunately a platonic friend of over a decade, though I would drink his bathwater if I could!! Well, maybe not. Love to all, sniff sniff SV
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hi,all, haven't been able to post much lately because of my shoulder and pain, BUT I have been reading and feeling your hurts and agonies, loving the flowers!! I LOVE poppies and even tried to have them at my wedding but they were too scarce in Minnesota in early April almost 40 years ago!!
I will have an MRI on Friday for the shoulder, the doc gave me some Tylenol 3, but am reluctant to take it at work because I want to be alert.
SV, your surprise re-baptism sounded so spiritual, and YES your Mom was with you. Prostate cancer for your Dad, so sorry. DH had it in 99 with a recurrence in 04 and is doing fine now. Oh I do hope Moby can be resurrected. Glad that pussy David is doing some better.
Talk about being a hoarder! Guilty here. It is a terrible habit to have.
We did that upside-down tomato plant thing last year. Because it was almost a no-summer, we only got a few tomatoes so DH brought it in and plans on putting it out again when the weathergets warmer...he keep a grow-lite on it during the day. Hope we get fruit from it in the warmer months and am hoping since it has a jump-start that we will get tomatoes earlier.
Connie, hope all goes well with dd and babe moving in. Sounds cool and safer for her for the time being.
CAROLE>>>>>>>HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!
My brother's lady friend asked if I wanted to keep her kitten!! I am in awe. He, the kitten is such a snuggler and lover. I will probably say yes, but feel guilty for taking him from her. Somehow she is not one of those people who get attached to animals...quite the opposite of me.
We are in for 5 days of rain, sure hope spring will come witrh it.
gentle hugs to my sister podsters!
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Suzie, the kitty will be so lucky to have a new mommy (you)! OK, so what is up with shoulder and MRI? Too exhausted to look back at posts. We need to build a "POD TREE" for reference purposes. I love the upside down tomato plant thing. We hanged them from the deck and they were there to grab-fresh tomatos and salt and pepper-YUM. Pray for MOBY-tomorrow will be a turning point. If Moby works, I truly want to pack up and move back out west (Kanab, Utah) and be with all my old friends. We have known each other for thirty some years and the 'girl's party' was just held at Jane's house today (and I am very far from them). Sweet Dreams to my PODDIES! SV
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hey you guys who else is on FACEBOOK? Me and my Pekes are and DH We could PM our last names to one another- no health tak but I would love to "see" you guys.
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Carole ... best belated birthday ever!
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Morning girl-friends! So fun reading your posts today....I'm TRYing to be quiet here, all alone, DH still asleep, but when you make me laugh, he thinks about getting up...(or when Lacee barks, or the alarm goes off!) Ha! That happened this morning, & I couldn't quit giggleing!
And Happy Birthday Carole! I was thinking, we sound & act like a bunch of High-school girl-friends sometimes! It's just fun to read what you gals have to say, & the WAY you say it! And I love it! I always said, I can't grow "old" until I grow up! And that's my story, & I'm sticking to it.
Isabella....sorry about your little Amy.....I thought my heart would break when "our boys" moved to Orlando....We had been sooooo very close all their growing years...But they moved when they were 12 & 15...And I STILL missed them....Missed them more than my Daughter, Ha! But they are now 21 & 24, & we are still very close....just by phone! When they call, it just makes my heart sing!
So just stay close to her by phone or how-ever you can! She will ALWAYS feel close to you....
And Good Luck Connie....with your Daughter moving in....If they want to meet, just have them go somewhere else....I totally understand your home & heart always being open for them....But not for the one who has caused all the turmoil......You don't want to "enable" him.
I LOVED the tomato hangers I had...I even made some out of just plastic hanging baskets....But it is much easier to plant the SMALL tomatoes in them! (At least here in Denver) The cherry tomatoes work great...I plant one in the bottom, & then the top...Or else you can plant something like hanging Lobelia in the top to make it prettier hanging over the sides!
Morning little SV! And you say I AM A RED-NECK, HA! You with your partially submerged swamp-cruiser & your squirrel rifle ready at notice, AND your Dad's garage!......And besides you live in the South! I think we are Sisters from another Mother! Ha! I'm sorry about your Dad & his problems...Just be there for him....& if he gets out of line, kick him in the butt. I'm sorry about Mo....it's just so hard to think of putting your other "kids" to sleep....I know.
Suzie14....A New baby kitten? This is for you! Love you girls! xoxoxoxo
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Isabella ... that incident sounded too scary. Please be careful! I don't think I could stand it if anything happened to you. Your DS has no understanding of animals ... once they are in my possession I worry, stay on top of their health and do everything I can to make them happy. It never even occurred to me that my bed was my bed -- I just curled around the cats, wasd in some odd positions sleeping because, God forbid I should disturb the cats! The only time I was away from them was when I was in London ... my sister was going to come over twice a day and I informed her that the cats were unaccustomed to being alone and she would have to make arrangements to sleep over!
As I have aged I think my new-found 'tolerance' has been not so much getting older and wiser as it is getting older and having less energy. There was a time I would have ben mortified to stand in the middle of a large store and yell for whoever I was shopping with ... now it is matter of weighing my options ... yell or walk around the store looking for my companion ... YELL ... no contest I find I fight less with family -- not enough energy. Hair a mess before I go out in public - so what, I'm never going to see those people again.
Almost everyone in my family is a hoarder to some degree. We could form our own self-help group and never have to go outside the family.
Suzie ... what happened to your shoulder? Last May I fell and shattered mine requiring a shoulder replacement. Talk about pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SV ... if I had a great body I would want to go nude all the time! However; reality is that if I took off my clothes requests would come flooding in requisting I put clothes ON!!!!!!!!
Hope everyone's 'karma' is great. May the force be with you.
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CB ... we must have been posting at the same time ... love, love, love the kitty/puppy pic.
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CB, thank you for the kitty and puppy picture. I will probably keep the kitten, he is about 6 months old and weighs less than that.
Wow, putting a plant in the top of the tomato hanging thingy sounds like a great idea, will have to tell DH. He'll probably bi%@h that then it will require much more water.
SV, praying for Moby that he is up and running like a top after he gets worked on today. Do you think you really will move? Glad you will be giving a new onc a second shot.
As far as my shoulder goes, the orthopod (NO, he's not one of us!!) is calling it "shoulder impingement" (sp?) which has something to do with the rotator cuff. It is ripping on occasion and as a result I have bruises on my bicep and elbow. I have had 2 prednisone shots and went in last week in hopes of getting a 3rd (his limit is 3)...no go....MRI 1st, that's why I asked for something for pain. Interesting, last week I re-connected with a old business acquaintance who was dx'd with bc 13 years ago, she was put on tamox (arimidex wasn't around then) she too had shoulder impingement while on tamox! hmmmm, there has to be a connection. Anyway she had the surgery and said it really didn't help all that much.
Isabella, see if you can get your sweet GD to come and spend a few weeks/months with you in the summer.
Well the auditors will be here tomorrow and I am not even close to being ready for them. I will be requesting a bottle of scotch with a nipple on it before the week is over.
must hush.....later
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GOOD MORNING PODS!! My sisters, how is everyone this morning? Suzie-a shoulder impingment?? Good Grief what will they think of next. I would gaffaw but I think you are in enormous pain. I a so sorry. Shoulder injuries are the wrost. i feel out of a tree last summer and broke my shoulder in three places. i SO hope you do not need surgery!!! AND, IIIITTT'SSS ALIIIIVVVEEEE! MOBY DICK LIVES! I am blown away and still cannot get my head around it. Garage is bringing in professional car cleaner to douche the carpets and get the swamp water out of the seats. AND CB, I have no doubt that we are sisters. You know your are a redneck when the 'rifle rack' is decorated for Christmas. And it is the most important piece of furniture on the house. The 'redneck gene' is the survival gene and we know how to survive and thrive!! I made the mistake of telling David this morn that i had let the entire world of PODS know that he was the "pussy man." That did not go over well!!!! He was on a scaffold and there was dead silence in response to my giggles and he said, "I'll call you back.'-errghgh. He's an old hippy like me with no brain cells to rub together so likely he will forget it by noon. Alyson sent the most goreous green stone from NZ to me with a ton of healing energy in it. It just heats my hand right up-I so love it. the movie "Prescious" is on TV pay per view-i ordered it and it is on and I am at the computor writing to my sisters!! SO, will catch up on all posts-chris, how are the girls??? and how are you? I pray for an easy recovery for you. Connie prayers for your shoulder!! Love to the POD. SV0
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Raining here this morning. I knew it was coming -- just hope it stays light with no major pour downs. Our water table is high but at least slow and steady a lot has the chance to seep into the ground. We have lost a lot of yard so some of our pounding rain storms and are going to have to bring in dirt, re-seed and work hard to re-level the land.
SV and Connie and anyone undergoing family/people upsets. I think SV is right --- sometimes the closer someone is to us, the harder it seems to get along. They think they are right while we are sure we are -- and somewhere in-between lies the truth. My only sibling passed away 11 days after my Mom. We were never able to get along simply because it was always her way or the highway. After 44 years of trying ( how dense can you be )? I finally figured out that I did not owe her any more opportunities to be sisterly. I say I'm not a quitter and I'm not in 99 and 9/10th.'s of the cases, but I quit with her. I finally saw that I was allowing the abuse I got because she was a family member, but if I would not allow anyone else to treat me that way -- why did I make her the chosen special one who could. The only resemblance the two of us had was the same last name.
Just a long way of saying the ones we are closest too "instinctively know" they can push you and you will a good part of the time "let it happen". They could never get away with it at the corner deli, or the hardware store, or even with most of their friends. I hope SV that things get a bit better there for you.
I would be very upset about Mo as well. I have been such an animal keeper and therefore not too unusual from time to time ( been a fair length of time now ) to have to help one of my friends onto the Rainbow Bridge. I always think I have had enough "advanced warning" to buck up and be brave, if not somewhat matter of fact. I end up not a pretty sight......tears, the nasal discharge, shaking hands, broken heart. A part of me glad that I could end any suffering early, then worried that there may have been an answer we didn't find. I'm fortunate Dh feels the same....he too cries. We then come home, prepare the burial area......say a prayer to the animal angels to take our friend in safe-keeping, once again returned to total health, until we arrive to claim our loved one back to enjoy for eternity. We always feel better ( although not over anything yet for some time to come ) once we have expressed our devotion and thanksgiving for the love and joy we were able to know from our forever friend.
I'm sure there are many -- in fact, I know it, who would think both of us are nearly certifiable about this, but we don't care one whit. Somewhere along our path we both felt a very deep and strong conviction that our animals were a gift from God giving balance and comfort to us at times when no one or nothing else could.
Well, did not truly mean to get up on that podium so will kindly step down and shut up now.
Hope you are all going to have a marvelous day. Thinking of all of you and wishing only good things headed your way.
Hugs, Jackie
p.s.
Hooray for Moby -- you see there really is life after death.
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Alright Dearest Ladies- I pulled a little Melissa this morning---AND DON'T GIVE A WITT! Listen to this- after 6 + years they are making me clock in- I really don't care about this---after all "it ain't BC" so this morning with my super strainght hair 1/3 done, I was kinda ready and relaxed with my hair dried, hairspraied and up in various positions of HOPE to have a style, realized that I was going to be late, so I threw the culing iron into the car and ran like hell- then 3/4 of the short distance to work I realized I forgot my very delicous cinnamon coffee- large size since I had less than 5 hours sleep. Well poop- I will NEVER spend $5 dollars at Starbucks unless youall meet me there. So as a very wise POD I clocked in- looking like a disaryed and quite gray "Miss Kitty" after a roll in the hay with marshall Dillon- and clocked in- turned on my heel and came home to fix my hair- Then what the heck,I decided to "check-in" and now have over flowing emotion about your topics. I will just say- I love you each- we do NOT know who we have so much in common with, and I will explain later.I have to drive to the furthest away rural station tonite and am tired. I love you all, more later--- HEY DAMN THE MAN ANYWAY!
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Hello PODS, What a crazy time, seems like for everyone. I like Pams signature line…. Strange days, indeed.
Isabella - I would mourn any of my family moving away, but especially the grands. And I’ve only got the one.
SV - I’m so sorry that your ding-dong brother engaged in a screaming match with you, when.. You aren’t strong enough to deal with his crap… you mutual father got a terrifying dx. . . . You already have an overflowing plate. . . And you have no one but David and us to turn to. I would be thinking about living somewhere else too, even if just for a while. Let brother deal with his own messes and get a lawyer/advocate to help you deal with your dads mess, maybe the hospital will have some alternative living or treatment term housing suggestion for him, off the island, away from his drink and where he can verbally abuse his kids. WHAT a mess. I can relate, I have a brother that is difficult at best. He’s not a drinker, that would be, well, understood. He’s an anal analyst, he over analyzes everything, comes to bizarre conclusions, declares them logical and then argues his point until everyone leaves. And come ON Moby, LIVE AGAIN. SV needs you for just a little while longer. One more thing,,, WAY TO GO on the re-baptism, that is just inspiring. Rest, dear, funny SV.
I’m afraid that I’m finding out that I’m a hoarder too. Not like the ones on TV, but I’m cleaning out that room and finding art my kids made in kindergarten. Halloween costumes I sewed that will be handed down to the next generation. The 12 cup Percolator that was a wedding gift. Dsons little league jersey and his cub scout shirt with all his badges. I can’t throw some of that stuff away. Can I? Really? It will be really weird having a baby in the house. Having to baby-proof all over again. DD took a sick joy in the fact that she will be able to have a night life with me and dh home every night. She won’t abuse it. Someone remind me that I said that should she start, OK?
Carole - Happy belated birthday. Our paper on Sunday had an article about an antebellum house/property located in your state that by happenstance and need, became a lovely, authentic B&B. Beautiful. La. Got so lucky to still have those wonderfully beautiful homes still standing after the Civil War. This one had grown sugar cane, the renovators made a gorgeous fountain from the huge pot that was used to boil the cane down. Made me think of you.
CB - I echo your sentiments regarding us talking like old girlfriends, we ARE, we just didn’t have any classes together cause we lived in different places, but I KNOW I know you from high school.
Suzie, so sorry about your shoulder. Did you have Rads? They say it can affect bones and joints like your shoulder, and my spine. And, of course, it takes its time to develop to full blown PAIN. And you’re facing Auditors??, Horrors, it IS that time of year. They make everyone walk around on eggshells. I did not like that part of the corporate world.
OK.. Gotta get back to my cleaning and throwing. Three piles, keep, sell, throw. Need more trash bags. BIG ONES.
~Connie
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Oh jackie, I love the podium's you get up on and you go girl! I don't know what the Lord is thinkg as I grew up with these abusive a-holes. Ran away at 15 or 16 years old when my brother was born and ended up back here in sobriety (an old woman with cancer) trying to do living amends. I fear my Dad is dying very quickly as he keeps bring up his cancer a lot now and he is not making sense about things. It is like he is so broken, he is just drifting away from me. Of all my family, he hurt me the most and STILL, I have come to love that man in my own way and I want to know I have done the best for him that I can, despite the profound offenses that he did do to me-i was only a child and the physical beatings from him were ubelievable. Still, I believe the Lord has me here and the Lord will give me a clear sign when my work is needed elsewhere. It is just so heartbreaking to have those that you love so much pass without ever knowing and so much said, unspoken. And for any of us who went thru violent childhoods not knowing much of anything (despite the decades of therapy for me) about what went so very wrong. HEY, DID ANYONE SEE THE 'SCOTT HAMILTON; RETURN TO THE ICE' SHOW LAST NIGHT. OMG, I cried through the whole thing. He is so genuine and his struggles so profound and his wife and kids wonderful-and the 51 year old cancer survivor did his trademark backflip on ice at the end of the show!! it was profound and moving. And Melissa, am so proud of your for clocking in and going back out and getting your hair done-that is just too funny-and your coffee!!!!! And Damn the man! I canged my sigout because Scott HAMILTON says that in the end OF EVERYTHING, "IT IS WHAT IT IS-DO WHATEVER IT TAKES." Love, SV
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I have a lot to write so bare with me-
OMG SV I stayed up and watch Scott Hamilton and would do it again- you talk about an awesome human being! And is wife- they are what we all should aspire to and damn I could at one time skate but that back flip is too awesome-I wanted to write him but could not find his info-hummmmm, will have to become devious.
Yes we need a POD Tree- the only question is Which NUT tree id large enough and STRONG enough for the mighty PODS??? Also Praise God, MOBY lives and should become the "MIGHTY POB MOBILE" Honk Honk---- plus we all need LONG LANA TURNER scarves to fly in the wind. 
SV parents only do what they do- like Scott says "it is what it is (and as children and family members we) do whatever it takes! I certainly did, and have to be honest with you- Until my BMX I was STILL stuck with these parents- oh I had gone to ACA, ALANON, AA- private counselor ( she had a masters degree and couldn't even dress herself- the ones still in their disease at AA looked better!) and had "changed some". But it is hard to forgive when you have never seen it modeled. I looked for books on the subject, spoke to everyone that I trusted (few) about the subject and made little progress. NOW- Jackie had said this in my earlier days (not that long ago) that BC can make one better- It certainly has- because it so clearly defined what is really important to me in MY life. I am happier, I was SO serious 
and now my life is easier- more free, happier, content, finder and have FINALLY, THANK GOD, moved ON! Kathleen said " the Lord has to hit me with a 2x4" WELL_ he had to give me BC!
Connie you got BABYDADDY- well we have/had BABYDADDYX2- my only step child had a baby by a man older than her dad----oh gag!_ anywaymy DH sized him up in about 3 minutes at the hospital after an emergency C-section and that child is a cerebral palsy child- the poor lamb- and our AMY had to stay in ICU as she was seizing so hard that she broke her humerus, had a heart attack, had bilateral pneumonia and pus coming out of the tube (for 3 months) in her Rt Kidney - the cause for the entire mess. Anyway he was lazy and had the nerve to say to my DH "I am just glad she didn't break the liquor stand"_ How stupid , OK a drink would have been nice but come on!. The second BabyDaddy don't work, nota, nothing, too hard , to regular and too boring for his FAT A__. Or should I tell you what I really think? Anyway as Isabella - I do not know what the world is coming to and AMY WAS NOT RAISED THIS WAY-IN EITHER HOME! All 4 of us parents are responsible, hard working, educated and pay our way. Things have in the past been very strained since she ruined my DH's credit twice and constantly lies- that is what gets to me. However- they and the grandchildren spent Sat. and Sunday together and I am so glad- the junk is behind us- I will however ask for prayers that we as now much older folks do not get burnt again. I want to have grandchildren and this is the only chance and her kids need granies and grandpaws. Connie please point out which antebellum homes you are talking about- I will be so close.
Isabella as far as the smart as_, inconsiderate kids-(which are getting out of the Kid range) just tell them you just got released from the hospital and don't have your meds yet and you may look old but oh my "I did some very mean things to get me in that mental hospital- can you give ME directions to the cemetery- I need to pay respects?"
Jackie I have to visit you slightly later but need to talk about some of your topics too. Suzie- my friends mother had chemo 15 years ago and now has heart problems so who knows the FUTURE SE?_ Hopefully it is not you meds.
LOVE you gals.Later
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Carole, I'm so sorry that I missed your birthday. I hope you had a nice day and continue to have a great week!
Rita
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Hi Girlfriends! I soooo understand about your Dad, SV! Yes, our childhoods were about the same....We were just kids, growing up all over the place, without much input from Mom & Dad.....BUT we made it...& made a damn good life of our own! I was so fortunate that my Parents left us....to try & make it on their own! And no, my Brother & I didn't have much use for him, because of all the crap that we grew up with, & what he put Mom through....The drinking just took over all of our lives......But I TELL you.... After Mom got so sick, & after she died.....Dad was just a sorrowful broken man....It wasn't until then, that Dad realized how much he loved her....how much he loved me....
The drinking was killing him, so he couldn't do much...I would go see him about every six months in the Bay Area, but we started talking every day! I really missed him....He would tell me how much he missed Mom...How he thought she were still in bed with him...& I listened to him cry....That brought me down to my knees.....I really started caring about him! He needed me....finally! We talked endlessly....sometimes twice a day.....I knew he was getting worse....falling, & just EVERYthing....But I promised him I would never put him in a Nursing Home.....I had to just take each day as it came......I went out again, & saw what bad shape he was in....I rubbed salve on his swollen cracked legs....and we went out to "play!"....I would go to "the city" to bring him home the "real clam chowder!"...My Grandsons got to meet him for the first time! But then....He fell for the last time....his old Buddy that looked in on him, said I had to come out. My Brother & I met at the airport, ran to see Dad at the Hospital, & he wasn't going to make it through the night...But I went back later alone, just to be with him....I think he "knew" I was there....But I got to say good-by to this man, who I never got to know.....until my Mother died. All those rotten years, didn't even matter anymore....! I just loved "HIM"...... It's so funny how you spend a whole life-time in these incredible situations, but the memories can be wiped out in an instant! He was my Hero....because I finally knew he loved me.
So Melissa, SV.....cherish that Dad of yours....I know sometimes it is a challenge.....but you know you will not have him forever! Love him for the way he is....And love him because he is doing the best that he can do. He loves you....in his own way. Just be there for him..... AND congratulations on getting that Moby Dick up & running! Wow...! That is great! See? Just when it seems it can't get any worse....it gets better! A little. Oh, & yeah, tell that pussy Dave to just get OVER it...Ha! What a dink! What would you DO without him? You two....always up to mischief!
I just pressure-cooked pinto beans for tonight! And I chopped up about 1/2 pound of bacon, drained it, added lots of fresh garlic, & mixed it all together in the smashed beans! MMMMMmmmmm! (I know.....I'm sleeping alone tonight, Ha!) Just kidding! I soaked & drained the beans first to get rid of the farts.
It's so fun reading about you gals....and amazing to me that our lives all meet here on this forum! I feel like I really know you! And our lives have the same "stuff" going on....Our kids, their problems....How we love our Grand-kids, and especially our pets..... Our last dog, "Chevy" was our greatest love, other than our kids....He gave us so much joy & love....And it seems those 14 years went in an instant. And yes, there does come a time....when we just can't bear to see them "hurt" any more.... I carried that little guy into the vets, all 40 pounds of him....laid him on the table, & I just held him & talked to him while the Vet simply gave him a shot....But I couldn't leave him alone...not even then.... Geez, all those sorrowful hurts...... Did I ever tell you gals I love you? I do.....xoxoxoxoxo Jeannette
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Jeanette ... I admire that you could forgive and love your father ... I can't!
Growing up not knowing what would set him off, never doing anything right or please him, constant criticism, beatings, and subtly invalidating my feelings. No wonder I trust very few people, am always waiting for the other shoe to drop, feel out of control. Its rather like a couple staying together for the "sake of the children." Guess what, the children know and its is very confusing when a parent counteracts your feelings and you then begin to doubt your reality. I have had problems trusting people, always fearing the worse and hiding my feelings because he would treat it like a weakness and pick at it like a scab. I have had lots of therapy over the years and I can't trust someone enough to discuss my feeling, so I just close up into myself.
To those who watched Scott, my youngest sister's boyfriend's ex-wife's father taught Scott that move because he taught it to his son, Michael Weiss. He's a national skater. I know that was confusing - my sister's boyfriend is divorced from his wife who is Michael's sister. We got free tickets for great seats at his shows!
SV ... so glad Moby is up and running! Whew!
Jackie ... I have had to help many animals over the Rainbow Bridge. Its one of the reasons I try to be faithful so that I can see them again. I evenI tell people if my animals are not in heaven than I am not going either -- of course that might not be the only reason I won't be in heaven!
I read somewhere tht your family can push ALL your buttons. They installed them!!!! And I know that God never gives you more of a burden that you handle ... but sometimes He gets really close to that line.
I, too, am so grateful for everyone of you for being in my life. Finally, I have a place to get validated ... its my reality check. I AM NOT crazy! Thank you. I love all of you ... I live my life vicariously through all of you. Your stories are heart-warming and heartbreaking at the same time
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I am in tears from reading. All my feelings are validated in here with you.
I'm so sad for SVs Dad. .. .. Seriously ..... SVMELISSA- - does he have a terminal dx?, if so, please contact the nearest Hospice right NOW. And if your brother starts anything have him picked up and taken either to a hospital or jail. What he did is verbal ABUSE and you do not deserve that nor do you need it in that house. DO YOU HEAR ME? If I were there, he would not come near YOU.
more later, ~C
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OK I'M back- I have forgiven Joe (DD) but wow it was not easy- my old number 1518, was because we moved 15 times in 18 years. He hurt mom so much and Kathleen you said all of what I felt for years- one time at an ACA meeting some one said " Melissa,if your dad is dead you can still tell him how you feel- just go to his grave site and let it all out" OK Can I just tell you trusted friends that (I was in my 30's) I peed my pants laughing for a really long time- when I was done the entire group was staring at me as if I had worn a carved pumpkin for a hat and a barrel as my dress- I had to explain. I immediately got this vision of me with my 18 wheeler parked at Joe's grave site with the year round supplies I would need to tell him everything!- Summer, Fall, winter and spring- it was all in there! It was the only thing he knew and now I feel sorry for his wasted life. And his poor life- he committed suicide at 43, I was 20, married and in Germany with my then DH- been there 3 weeks, NO money to come home and my poor sisters had to face it without me. He left letters for everyone but me as, "I don't know Missys' address"- LIKE HE WAS GOING TO MAIL THEM-WHAT? Poor man,poor, poor man- he had 5 daughters who loved him because he was Dad......Life? Kathleen I could have just copied your paragraph and maybe that is why we were/are worry warts- after all we NEVER knew what was next! Love you sisters from another mother-
Jackie I wanted to tell you that I lost my eldest sister (she went through school with my DH) 11 months to the day before my mom- it was crushing and as far as losses- I would give quite a lot to just tell each of them (yes even the bad boy) that I love them- my Faith tells me that I will-one day and I plan to enjoy that feeling. My Tender hugs to you- I would hold you as long as you need. We can be one anothers sisters- all of us.
So now we have all found each other- we are a GREAT GROUP (that is GG oPODS) and I am as grateful as I can be- plus I believe that God has brought us together. Oh what the heck- lets group hug and wallow in it like whale showoffs.
Got to go dears.much love M518
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Kathleen, I really get what you are saying about waiting for the other shoe to drop....I have had 3 bouts of psychotherapy post bc, non of them really doing much good !! Two of my therapists said to me 'its as if you're waiting for the other shoe to drop'...and thats just how my parents made me. My bc nurse spent quite a lot of time visiting me, at the time I was half way between her home and the hospital, so she would call on me to 'talk' But...as soon as they cut the overtime budget I never got any home visits again !! so she was using me as a convenient place to get a coffee and relax, and get paid for it!
I haven't had a really good winter this year for losing dogs...5 of them went between November and about 2 weeks ago. I have 48 dogs in my garden, tho' I just cannot remember exactly where all but a handful are. I don't make graves, but go out and buy a special plant or shrub to mark where they rest...but I still can't remember where they all are !! It was a plan of mine to make a pet cemetery, but somehow DH always made a fuss whenever the subject came up....I don't know why I have let him win me over the years on this one, as its my land !!!!! I had a little 4 acre paddock all planned out, on paper, there is just nowhere for people to put their pets for about 60 miles, and a lot of people don't have gardens, it would have gone a bomb I am sure....but too late to start another argument with DH now !!!!!!! When I first thought about it all I needed was a very small digger, now I would be looking at cremators, and air pollution, and need all sorts of planning consents, where as before I was told 'just go ahead' by our local planners. Much too old to do it now. he he he. I know I am lucky to have all my old pets still close by me.
I went to see my Aunt today, she has had yet another fall, has 3 'butterfly' plasters on her eyebrow. The home she is in rang me at 9am to tell me. I was going in anyway, and don't know what to do about these 'falls'. All the staff have the story on the tip of their tongues, so short of calling them all liars I don't know what to say. I saw the Dr was in the home today, and called him over, he looked at my Aunt, went to see the staff on duty, and told me what they had told me...she had fallen in the night, slipping on a puddle of her own urine at the side of the bed....she wears very tightly elasticated pull up paper pants. She can't even get her handkerchief from out of her sleeve, so no way could she get these pants off on her own. I just don't believe them, but feel they are stroking me on the head, and saying 'LISTEN to what we say, you are not going to get anything else from us'. If I cause a fuss I am worried they'll take it out on her. I am just going to start and push for her to go back to her own nursing home, now she seems to be out of the acute anxious state she was in when she first arrived. She is starting to slip away more each time I see her, whatever is happening, is starting to accelerate. Don't anybody get old !!!!
On a lighter note we have won a battle with our neighbours, which has been rumbling on for about 20 years. For some reason they have a right of way to cross our drive, should they wish, something to do with old rights of way. I never do understand these stupid laws. No-one told me this years ago when I bought this farm, it came to light years ago, I tried to stop it then, but never could. My solicitor, knowing he should have explained this properly to me, has been on the case for years. I told him if he didn't do something then he would be watching me take him for negligence. Somehow. and I do not understand it at all, he has managed to unearth a very old law, and get our neighbours off our drive, I hope for good. Best of it is they live about 3 miles from our drive, yet still want this hold on us, to cross it whenever they see fit. Goes without saying that me and my neighbours never speak !!!!!! I shall be arranging to have new fences put up where they cross as soon as I can !!! I think one of their main reasons for wanting to keep this 'crossing' is that they run a busy riding school, and we are plagued with their customers using our drive to get to the main road, which they shouldn't be on anyway. On a weekend either DH or I go up to the end of our drive and chain and lock the gates, so horses cannot get onto the drive at all, but it also stops our visitors coming down to see us. I have had the little madams on horseback waffting their riding crops at me to slow down, which is a red rag to a bull with me. I just drop a gear and thunder past them, then get out and tell them to get off our drive. The language I get from these 'young ladies' is what you'd hear on a building site !!!
Well, a nice hot shower calls for me right now. I am tired today, but won't sleep for ages yet.
Isabella.
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Carol, so sorry I missed your birthday. Happy late birthday, hope you had a good one. this cold has just had me under the weather so haven't even checked in lately. Boy we are a bunch of talkers there is just so much to catch up on. Melissa I am on facebook and would love for you to befriend me. Look for sherry park.Thinking of you all, love you and miss you. will try to read up on everyone and post more tomorrow.
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Night PODS, i need tomorrow to readup on everyone as i did two major things today and cannot keep my head from banging on the computor board-I am so freaking tired i cannot stand it. How do ya get over chemo fatigue??? And Connie, my dad has been keeping his diagnosis 'secret.' I know he has probably had it for about 3 months. He came and sat on my couch in a little huddle and told me about it yesterday? or day before-God this is awful. He says it is 'slow growing' cancer unless something happens and it revs up-and I just have the worst feeling the way he looked that something has changed but i did not press him. I told him I loved him (trying not to cry-like right now) and he says, No, you don't and then we argue and I finally say ok you win I hate you. I wish he knew!! XXOOO, SV
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Hello ladies - Just a quick note to let you all know I'm OK. Been very tired...too much meds. Right now I'm trying to rest. Hav a good one. Chris0
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Hey Chris, sending you lots of soft hugs and prayers. SV
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March 9, 2010Oh, SV, he knows. He knows how much you love him. And he loves you too, the only way he knows how. Something must have happened and thats why he came and talked about it with you. My mom likes to keep "secrets", drives my sister nuts. Really all it does is convince us that Mom is nuts. I hope for whats best for both of you.Hey Chris, you rest with the good drugs for as long as you need and then one more day. Hey, I got wired up and I'm up WAY past my bedtime tonight. Besides having a lot of OPS - Other People's Sh!t to deal with. I have my own. One of them is Restless Leg Syndrome. Holy Cow, some nights it's just unbearable. that's what happened tonight. I was all snug in my bed, reading, 2 cats curled up in their respective spots and then it started, in one foot, feels like a ghost rope is pulling it taut. Then it moves up my legs, sometimes only one, tonight both, Squeezing, pulling the muscles, almost like cramps forcing my leg to move. It jerks, then relaxes. Within moments it starts all over, only with more intensity. Then again and again each time involving more muscles and sliding across and sometimes off the bed. I have meds, been taking it for years. Plus Vit. E and folic acid are said to help. Have an herbal tablet that I chew up, I've tried lots. The best thing is to take a short walk before I go to bed... HAHAHAHAHA AS IF ... As if "THATS when I want to go for a walk. Theres a support group, called Night Walkers, sounds creepy. It's much more fun in here. Well, I walked, got some chamomile tea, took another hot shower and I think the meds are kicking in. Morning is my first grandbaby's first birthday. March 10, she did not come easy, it was, when compared to my 3 labor and deliveries, perfectly awful and ended in C-section. But boy, did we get a cutie. she laughs with gusto and makes faces for her Pop (my dh). Happy Birthday, K. one more thing... I just found out that my birthday is on Easter Sunday!!! that has never happened for me before. It's April 4. The year I was born it was Saturday before but in all my years, Easter and my bday finally lined up. Cool. That sounds like a perfectly good reason to get a new dress, or shoes or something.My watch is over. Alls well. ~Connie0
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Chris it is so good to hear from you. Glad you are getting the rest you need --- everything else will come in good time. SV, I am with Connie about your Dad. Apparently he feels safe if he keeps making out that his feelings are very superficial.
Connie -- I have never heard anyone describe restless leg syndrome. Certainly sounds like something I sure would not like at all. I had a friend ( it just so happened that she was in the latter stages of mets ) who got this and she would hop from one foot to the other. It seemed so un-fair to be saddled with it along with the mets, but we don't get to pick and choose. Sort or reminds me of that saying/quote I read recently about a true patriot will get a speeding ticket and be thrilled that the system works. The only choice we really do have is to try and make the best of our situations -- not always easy that is for sure I could do a whole spiel on that but I won't and will only say --- the only way to discover who we really are is to handle problems ( any kind that come ) successfully -- in our own way, and time, and often using un-conventional measures --- and last but not least --- not comparing ourselves to anyone else and how they may have done something.
Beauty of a day here I think.....we will have some clouds, but sun as well.....and ta-da --- by the end of the day we should be up to 72 degrees. It is a bit of a fluke, but we do have it happen.....sometimes in February in years past. It will bring with it though what sounds like a huge storm with all the appropriate light and sound effects for the night. We will see. This is usually always a busy day for me as I have to prepare for my " real job " at the Realty office. Hard to believe I have worked there for 8 years now. I sort of dis-like the boss I have but that is another one of those....do the best you can with it things. He increased my duties to the point of saving over $3,000.00 a year for the company and what was my part of this....nada, but the job. That is how it goes for the most part. You just have to keep quiet and bow at the right moments and you will continue to work. That does have some meaning -- especially when you have feral cats to feed.
Well, my friends....I'm onward for my day for now. Get my work started so I can have a bit more free time this evening. I'll be checking in later.
Hugs, Jackie
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Good Morning Sisters,oh man, the restless leg syndrome is the worst Connie. Have you always had it or did it come on after treatments. I get it when they put me on steroids and it is awful! I love the "night walkers" and yes you sound like a zombie (but in a good way). And give that grandbaby a big POD hug from me as today is the day! Chris, enjoy the meds and rest!! Well, Moby is getting new shoes on today and the car is coming back to me with the front seat in it and an engine! All to the tune of over $1,000. Good God. There are days that I wish I could work, but this is not one of them. That was a big chunk of change I had set aside to rev up things at the shop. Also, C., I am sending a better class of sea glass for you to play with when you are ready. I have a list of things piled up to send that is overtaking my LR-errgh.CB, I have a box of sea shells packed up to put in your fairy garden for good luck and good fertilizer. Actually, stuff for everybody I have addresses for. Jackie, it is so hard to work a job for someone ya' just don't like, let alone WORK A JOB. I ways always really bad at it so KUDOS to you. I have always been awful in that I simply cannot do anything I do not like to do (addh) or what ever it is called. No focus. oh man, I want to write to everyone but will need to print out and take notes!! No sleep last night (OPS) and in a fog today. I feel like a three legged giraffe! I see new ONC tomorrow. Worried I have peripheral neuropathy as I have lost a lot of feeling in hands and feet and feet are always cold-never before chemo!! Isabella, Spar, CB, Alyson, Dar, et all, sending love for right now and promise to read up on the POD squad today. (((((HUGS))))) SV
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