Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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One of the problems with all of the research and methods to help with breast cancer is that I doubt other factors are considered. Diabetes is one that I wonder about. What if any effects diabetics taking insulin has that could be different with radiation and the pills therapy such as tamoxifen and Arimidex etc. I really doubt that this is addressed.
I am a diabetic and suffering a lot of pain with my rads...The doctor says that this is NOT usual but has no idea why? So if he has no idea it is because the research and test done do NOT address this condition. One has to wonder if RADS is a good option and or pills? I have decided to do both, but always wonder if my decision was a good on. I lose faith when the doctors cannot answer the WHY?
Anne
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Jackie, Melissa, I just got back from my surgeon's office and I'm sorry to let you know that invasive cancer was found in the second breast, it's still being analyzed. I asked why chemo didn't take care of it and she said it might have been 5 cm instead of smaller. No nodes were looked at. She will consult with my onc. as decisions have to be made. I thought this nightmare was coming to an end. I really need a prayer from my angels. Thank you.
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prayers and big hugs are being sent to you right now.I PRAY FOR THIS NIGHTMARE TO END.
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Dear Julia,
This is so hard to hear about one of our sisters. Praying for strength to get you through this anxious time.
pam
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I'm so sorry Julia.........just know that we are with you! I'm hoping you are working with a good team here.....and one that will also look at nodes! And that once this is taken care of, that will be the end of it! We always worry about our other breast! It's un-usual that they didn't see something different in your other breast at the same time you had your first one! They THOUGHT they saw something going on with my other one, after a MRI...so I went in for biopsys on THAT breast....but things came back clear.
But make sure that you ask the right questions. You have to be able to trust your surgeon, and your Oncologist! If I got the news that I had cancer again, especially after chemo like you had....I would question as to how they missed this. I might even cause them serious bodily harm. I don't know of anyone who hasn't had ANY lymph nodes removed during surgery....they have to be tested at that time, to make sure they come back clear! If you are confident in using the same team, I would go into surgery with an oncologist or a second opinion, as to WHAT they plan to do this time. (((((Julia))))) xoxoxoxoxo
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Thank you dear ones so so much. Jeannette, I thought so too re the nodes, in fact I asked ahead of time about them. She congratulated me today for good decision making and said she will never again try to talk someone out of surgery as she really tried to do with me. She had suggested doing an ultrasound, but I was "adamant" ...is what she called me pre-op. She was unsure about the lumps. My onc said they were nothing. This is the team I had 18 years ago. I guess you're right about another opinion. I'll see her on Wed. to find out the plan and have the drain removed. Love you all I feel better already.
btw I asked her to do the bilat in Feb as L was suspicious to me also at that time. She refused.
(edited to add something)
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Julia...the first thing you sisters told me was go for 2-3-4 opinions.Drs are not GOD.My heart is breaking for you.this road is so tough.God is the great healer.Its all up to him.There is a safety in numbers.We as sisters must all pray a special prayer for Julia..or2 or 3..I did.gentle hugs.
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Julia, hang in there. I am not done with my work yet today, but I will be back in a bit.
Healing Hugs,
Jackie
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Julia,
I'm a newbie here, but so admire the courage I have found here. You hang in there and trust yourself. All positive vibes and prayers to you.
Susan
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Julia, you are in my prayers!
Kathryn
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Julia, I am so sorry. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Even though we don't know each other face to face everyone on this board are sisters. When one of us is hurting all of us hurt!
Kat
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Julia - you are at the top of my prayer list....WHAT A BUMMER.... I agree with getting another opinion. You need to have great trust in your team.
My thought about the nodes - if you had nodes looked at for the first BC, it would only have been related to that breast. The other breast drains into nodes in that breast and under that arm.
I have also heard that recurrent BC can be different - the first one perhaps ER+, the second ER-..... But I would insist they do a node pathology for sure. There was no question for my lump - the node was pinpointed the day before surgery with dye, and following the lumpectomy, the 'hot' node was removed for analysis. Fortunately, it was clear.
Feel you are being hugged from around the world. We really are a global sisterhood here.
C
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Thank you sisters, I'm literally surviving on your support and frozen yogurt. Thank you C, there were no nodes left on the right side (February surgery) as they had been removed 18 yrs ago with lumpectomy. Same surgeon last Wednesday for left side and she doesn't touch ONE node, I don't get it. This is not a second rate surgeon, she has an excellent reputation.
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On my daily walk at daybreak, I compose to you. Recently I had in mind to write to my dear friends ...life IS a box of chocolates (as previously stated), we need to share and enjoy. So if I'm so convinced of that, is it not a box of chocolates when you're faced with it (yet again)? It's always a box of chocolates. PLEASE don't worry about me, I'm a cockeyed optimist, worry is negative and I don't want that for anyone. Nithin's gonna melt m'chocolates!. ((((((((((((hugs forever))))))))))))))0
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Good morning everyone,
Julie, I did not get back here last night --- was just done in by the time work, a meal, and a much needed shower got handled. Grand to read your 7 hours ago post. You are so right. We will all have negative incidents in life --- and it is appropriate I'm sure to have some bewilderment, sorrow, fear, anger -- or basically whatever you need to feel as you sort out where you are in relation to these things --- but we will and do move past....and as we do, dragging the negative along just slows and hampers us in getting to the more positive healing state. Now if I can just remember that when I have another downer. So, my gorgeous friend, just save me a piece of that really good chocolate you have please.
Hi Susan - love your avatar. How are you doing????
I am saying hi to all of you --- just not calling out names. I will be back later I'm sure. Hope you have a marvelous day. See you later.
Hugs, Jackie
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Julia, just a note...when I had my sentinal nodes taken out in 2000 , it was a relatively new
procedure. Before they took them all out. so perhaps your surgeon is in the new mode now..
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Joyceek, I had the hematoma removed several months after it appeared. The first thing the breast surgeon did a few days after the appearance was an in office aspiration with a needle. She explained that if she found blood (she did) it was a hematoma, if she found pus it was an infection and I would need antibiotics. She also did an US of my breast the same day so she could measure the size and later on compare to see if it was getting smaller. I had more ultrasounds 3 and 6 months later and an MRI of my breast. When it did not go away I had it removed. I did not want the surgery, but am now glad I had it as the lump which was causing discomfort and waking me when I rolled on it at night is gone.
Kat
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It a beautiful day here in NZ with some of the heaviest frosts on record. Do hope you are all enjoying your summer.
Big big hugs to those who are having treatment or waiting to do so.
Had my check up with the onc yesterday. Have to have repeat of bloods as the the tumour markers have risen - something that has not happened before and there are other anomalies. And have to have bone scan to see what is going on with my back which has been really painful for months. I thought I had hurt it at pilates but the pain just won't go away. I am sure it's just arthritis or the degeneration worsening in my spine. Then I will go back to the onc in about four weeks. It wasn't the onc I usually ( who I really like and get on well with) - it was one of his registrars - a very nice ( and good looking) young man who listened which some of them don't do.
I can hear the mocrowave making noises, I warmed up my coffee so must go and have it before I take my sister to the hospital for a clinic vist, she will find out the results from her bowel cancer op.
Alyson
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Alyson,
It is hard to imagine frost when we are sweltering in high 90s here. Enjoy it!!!
You have such a good and positive attitude. It matches your happy face in your avatar.
pam
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Alyson,
Best of good wishes on the up coming tests.
We'll get your weather soon enough in Canada!!!!!
C
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Alyson, I hope and pray all your tests come back AOK! Sorry about that awful back pain. PG your sister's results will be perfect. Always a treat to get a cool breeze from your direction, it's a humdinger of a heatwave around here. All the best.
Thank you all for your kindness. Have a great day.
(edited to add something)
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PRAYERS TO ALYSON AND HER SISTER..HUGS TOO.
THROW SOMETHING COLD TO NEW JERSEY.ITS HOT HERE.
GOD BLESS
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Thought I'd share something here:
When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the morning light, for your life and strength. Give thanks for your food, and the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies with yourself.
~ Tecumseh, Shawnee Chief
I am 1/8 Cherokee -- but I think the Indians have always had wisdom that we left behind for the most part. Don't know if it was seen as too simple or too spiritual.
I did not get back yesterday. Won't go into my day but it was a doozie with another today much like it. This would be ok if you could factor out of it the heat and humidity. That is what causes me to struggle a lot. Maybe today will go better anyway. At least I am mentally prepared.
Alyson, do know my thoughts will be with both you and your sis. You are very stalwart at dealing with your and your family's issues. Hope you can find a little time somewhere to stop and smell the roses as they say.
Julia, as always you too are uplifting and obviously a great believer in accentuating the positive. Our life goes as it will and it is what it is --- so we have to try not to lament what poor circumstances we may be in, and move on and get ourselves and those we love on hopefully a much better mesa ( this will speak to you Lisa ) or plateau. Put another way -- falling down ( being upset, angry, sad, and a few why me's ) is all right. It's the staying down that we don't want to happen.
Saying a big hi to everyone -- as well as to Rita who must be a busy gal lately.
I'll be TRYING to check in later today --- I am hoping to make progress and not eat dinner at 9 p.m. again. That is just too genteel for me. My system is not happy with that. Have a really good day and catch as many positive vibes as you can.
Hugs, Jackie
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you girls are so positive.thank you.i am still in the dark hole.trying soooo hard not to stay there.going for a pet body scan and 3d mri on fri. im a wreck..
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Good Idea Northstar.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer eight weeks ago at the age of 62, following the discovery of a lump on self-examination - Mammograms hadn't picked anything up. My mother had stage 3 as, we think, did her mother.
I am now very concerned that my son, daughter or grandchildren may have also drawn the short straw.
I have had a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy carried out and return shortly for the pathology results. I had surgery done as a result of extreme pressure from my family and feel that I pursued it for all the wrong reasons. I am a realist and have no desire to buy years without quality of life, but I just wasn't in the emotional state of mind to stand my own ground and, took this option solely to improve/maintain family relationships.
In my heart of heart I feel that this was the wrong decision and am sure that I do not want any further treatment, regardless of the prognosis. I am dreading the ensuing battle with my family more than receiving the worst news possible.
I presume that others have had similar experience from well-meaning family and friends and wonder how you coped?
greene
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Good Idea Northstar.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer eight weeks ago at the age of 62, following the discovery of a lump on self-examination - Mammograms hadn't picked anything up. My mother had stage 3 as, we think, did her mother.
I am now very concerned that my children or grandchildren may have also drawn the short straw.
I have had a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy carried out and return shortly for the pathology results. I had surgery done as a result of extreme pressure from my family and feel that I pursued it for all the wrong reasons. I am a realist and have no desire to buy years without quality of life, but I just wasn't in the emotional state of mind to stand my own ground and, took this option solely to improve/maintain family relationships.
In my heart of heart I feel that this was the wrong decision and am sure that I do not want any further treatment, regardless of the prognosis. I am dreading the ensuing battle with my family more than receiving the worst news possible.
I presume that others have had similar experience from well-meaning family and friends and wonder how you coped?
greene
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Greene..i sent you a P/M.
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Dear Greene,
I can understand wanting to bypass all or most treatments. It is so overwhelming in the beginning. Each step, I thought, was horrible. But I got through it... we all do. And along the way we meet some wonderful people. And if you can detach a little, the journey can be kind of interesting, even exciting. It certainly added some spice to my quiet life :-)
I'm not being glib or trying to be funny. One year out I have had some kind of epiphany. My body has changed and for a while I was frustrated and sad. But gradually I have come to accept the new me. My endurance is less, my strength is much less but I am making out fine. I blame a lot of my physical limitations on the drug I take but appreciate what good it is doing for me. I accept my mortality in a way I never did before so I am busy cleaning out closets! I don't like it when family and friends treat me like I am sick... but it's nice to know they are concerned about me.
Treatments are so much better and refined than they used to be. And effective! I feel like I am a member of a sisterhood and share a bond with so many brave women who are fighting the good fight. I am in there with them!
Take it one step at a time. Don't burn any bridges. Be strong and informed. And hang out with this great group of girls.
pam
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Hi greene! Pam is right....Just take one step at a time, & don't ever be sorry, for having a lumpectomy to remove any cancer! I had the same....3 nodes came back clear.....But I did have radiation with the Mammo-Site device, & now I am on Tamoxifen for 5 years.....all this to keep cancer from coming back again, hopefully! About your family & friends....they will say things to you, without realizing how it hurts you. They are looking out for your own interests...but sometimes it comes out pretty harsh! I think you are thinking this out too much.....To all of us, and the decisions we made, we are all breathing a lot better, & happier we went through this & are on "the other side"...... Sure some of these very brave women have really gone through a lot! But they DO the treatments because we have all been told, & researched this so much, that it gives us assurance that cancer won't come back! Maybe it will, & maybe it won't...but you need to feel proud of yourself, that you have come this far!
And I'm 11 years older than you! I had my surgery on Dec. 4th....and I'm doing great! No, I didn't want surgery....I didn't want cancer, & I didn't want treatments, & I felt like I was on this run-a-way train, taking my life away! And yes, we have all been told "hurtful" things about having cancer.... Like I was told, "Oh just have them both taken off!"....I didn't of course, because I didn't NEED to.
So to your Family & Friends, hold your head high dear greene....and show them all that you can do anything you want, & are happy with your decisions! But honestly....the treatments are NOTHING compared to having cancer, and letting it go, & it becomes very serious! The women on this board have ALL been there! We will help you! And yes, I feel like they are ALL my sweetest guardian angels! Stay posted greene! Jeannette .......xoxoxoxoxoxo
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To all the lovely ladies of the most unpopular club- then you join and Pam and Jackie you are right, the big appreciation sets in.Everyone has the right to their own choice in treatment and time to make the decisions and I am sure some people thought I was crazy with my decision. I am like Pam in that my stamina and strength is not what is was before surgery in Sept. 09- I am a newbie here of sorts and remembered just the other day that a wise women on the site told me it would take a year to get that "normal" feeling back - and I feel normal with the exception of strength and stamina. Julia, Connie, Grannydukes, Greene, really everyone, none of us deserve this the 1st time around and certainly a second dose is over the top. I was very angry, Julia, when I read your results- I did not want to post an angry posting so I have been thinking... We don't deserve this, BUT we will get through it, and through it and through it. With one another, their patience and strength, the love and hugs and thoughtful support that can sometimes only be found here
I am not sure of all the reasons I was "given this gift", some of the side effects of my surgery are forever gifts and I struggle on some days and not on others. Some days I am the strength and some days I need a prop-but the epiphany for me was the deep appreciation for my life and for the "coincidences" that had taken place on my journey. Of course they were not coincidences but had been directed by a Higher Power whom I believe in and I think believes in us. So when we get a set back we need to think about what we can learn- although not right away- we should feel all the other emotions and then put them behind us so we can concentrate on getting out of the mess. We are a smart talented group and can help each other through.
The weather is hot and muggy and I am still glad to be in the midwest! The walnut trees have stunted the growth of many of the plants in our garden and that is OK because I will still get tomatoes and potatoes and we have bought the most delicious corn lately. DH will build me planter boxes (I wanted them but did not want to ask- then he came up with the idea!), for next year. He did not like me crawling around on my knees- have to admitt it was easier when I was 30!
Well, it seems that I am long winded- Have great evenings ladies, My the strength and Blessings be each of yours and over flow to your loved ones. Miss Kitty
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