Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Happy dance for AmyJO!
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Amyjo, that is great news. We just have to keep praying for each other. I will be going to see the PS here in Memphis on the 25th to see what he has to say about doing the DIEP surgery. People say when you get older you are suppose to act your age. How can you act your age when this is the first time you have been this age? We are not dead only wiser.I intend to keep moving and putting on my make up for as long as I can.Cancer has already taken away some of our body parts,but it can't have my dignity.
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THAT'S RIGHT MSCAL02.. NOBODY can tell you when, where and how much cosmetics to use, so use what makes you happy! My mom would go the full make-up routine to go to chemo treatments. I'm not like that, but it made her feel better to do so and that's what counts.
WAY TO GO AMYJO. Those reports rock. And so do you!
Did anyone feel as violated as I did after surgery. I only had a lumpectomy but felt so violated that I don't even want to discuss further breast surgery. We went to a PS and she was really nice but I broke down crying just talking about them cutting my breasts again, this time both of them. I'm so not ready to do that. Don't like the lopsidedness and the bc/rads boob is thick with scar tissue, had a cyst and provides a source of pain almost every day, but cutting into it again is just not in my plan.
Connie
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Mscal02 - you go for it and do whatever it takes to make you happy.
Susgul - hope you get good reports too.
BarbaraA - glad you are feeling better today. Keep getting better so you will be in top form for your cruise.
SV - you need to take care of yourself if you expect to stay SV. We don't want you going horizontal on us.
Everyone have a good evening and if you have a holiday tomorrow enjoy the extra day off.
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Oh connie, I felt incredible violated-in fact, I awoke in the middle of surgery when my surgeon started cutting the nodes under my armpit-I remember saying-OW-S#it-and everone jumping backin complete surprise and terror and the anesthesia team jumping on me. I awoke with a battered face cause they were trying to intibate me I guess to get me under more-had a huge fat lip and noone would cop to the fact that I woke up-no how stupid is that!! I am attending grief counseling over the issue and have been for some time now. But there was no 'kind understanding' or sympathy from my surgeon at all-I guess he cannot do his job and do that too. I was just a piece of meat. Before surgery, he walked into the room and I was crying and he said to me, "why are you crying, this is your first day cancer free" then he rubber stamped which breast he was supposed to work on and left-Yeah felt very violated!! SV
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SV, that so totally suck that I have no words.
AJ, thanks. I am counting the days and hours down. Gotta get DH trained to get up at 4 AM, get the car parked in the long term lot so we can get to the airport and through security on time. WaaHoo!
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AmyJo....soooo happy for you..what good news.Hope it keeps in this vein all summer now.
SV...what CAN anyone say to you when you go plonk on a cactus, and someone rubber stamps your boob....you from another planet ????????????????????????
Mscal. 'How can you act your age when this is the first time you have been this age'....how true.
Off to bed.
Isabella.
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that is horrid SV.
I had a wonderful surgeon but I guess I wasn't quite out
and said "ouch"...then I heard me surgeon say
" there will be no four letter words in my surgery"
and I thought she was talking to me and I shut up..
she obviously was responding to something someone on
her team said...they gave me some more juice and out I
stayed...
I told the surgeon about it and she laughed and assured me
she was not referring to my "ouch"..
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Barb - We are all traveling with you in spirit. Hope you have a lovely time.
SV- you win the worst surgeon of the year award. Possibly the decade. Actually, I think you get the worst EXPERIENCE overall. I lost count of how many times you were carted off the island in an ambulance. And you've kept your humor intact. I was thinking about you bundled up trying to get the 'shot' of the horses and swans. You must be a type A+. If I had your drive, if only. Even when you are wiped out you are doing stuff, planning.
Isabella too, how do you manage the energy? To keep it up like you do? Do you take super vitamins? Gimme some. I took a leaf blower today and blew off months of accumulated leaves from my deck and was Exhausted when done. It wasn't hard. Not like dealing with all those animals and a whole farm. I like to stay busy. I like to keep my hands busy or be reading or planning something. I plan a lot more than I do.
I like to make earrings and bracelets. Glass beads, mostly. They can occupy me for hours. And I've got an idea for a book. Need some new direction. Need to bring some income. Need to do the searching to find out what it is that is my passion. I would really like to do that now. Its my turn.
~Connie
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I went to see The Tourist today....I liked it, although it was not what I was expecting...there was actually a little pit of humor in it and Johnny Depp did not look as good as usual when she meets him on the train, sort of a naive' bumpkin type....myself, I liked the way he looked when he was Jack Sparrow. Jeeze, does this mean I like guys with eye liner? She was stunning....never thought of her a great beauty, but she's got the body to wear beautiful clothes....she's not just thin, she's got the shape clothes look good on, and that was how she was supposed to look in this movie because when she walked into a room all the men would give her a longing glance. I do not think it was an academy award show, but it was good and entertaining and I enjoyed the scenery in Venice. Tim would not have liked it which is why I went by myself...felt I owed myself a treat after cleaning. Mscal, only you know what is right for you, age has nothing to do with it. I knew I would not be happy stuffing my bra the rest of my life so I had reconstruction and am glad I did it....since it was just the left side, I would be horribly misshapen if I didn't have something there to sort of match up. SV...waking up during surgery!?!?...I am telling you yours is a lawsuit getting stronger every day. I am going to try to chat tonight with the Stage lV group...I can't keep up typing, but they told me I could just sit there and type a letter every so often so I am going to try to get to the site.
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WOW-HOOOORAHHHHH TO THE POD-Everyone sounds so incredibly strong-I mean I know that we are-who in the hell could survive a tenth of what we have been thru-MsCal, I just LOVE your comments. And yeah-I think I am getting ready for a boob job!! I keep looking at my saggy gals and - honestly my first surgeon said, well you are old enuf and you don't really NEED them anymore-when he was talking about doing a bi-lat mastecomy. Hey it ain't over until the fat lady sings and I haven't sung yet-teehee!! Love you all-and yeah, I did too much out in the cold yesterday-I just don't have a stop meter when I am out having fun-then I am in bed for two days-with my knees swollen and sick as a rat. I truly am too fat but haven't got the motivation to even begin to lose weight. I feel like the only thing working right is my mouth and I am enjoying it too much to stop eating!! Big Smooches, SV
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Oh goodness, you girls who woke up during surgery--how utterly horrifying that is! I know when my surgeon was going to do a re-excision on my lumpectomy she said she'd just give me a local anesthetic and I was scared to death. My airway just closes when I'm on my back (have sleep apnea) and I knew I wouldn't be able to breathe. Seriously, even my dentist knows he cannot put the chair back as far as he would like to because of that. Long story short, I was intubated and put under for the re-excision, just a little lighter anesthesia.
Yes Connie, I too feel like it's my turn now. I worked for the state as a quality control analyst (hence QCA) in social services for 34 years, started that right after college, and retired to look after my daddy and my aunt. Two years later both of them are gone, but during those two years we also took care of our GS from birth to 16 months. Now he's being "socialized" in day care and then, wham, I got bc.
But hopefully the worst is over there and we can do some things we've wanted to do. Told DH I wanted to go to Cherokee/Harrah' s for my birthday so we're going this week for a couple of days and I'm going to gamble my little heart out! DH doesn't gamble but he's pretty resourceful about finding things to do, I'll just take what I can afford to lose (not a whole lot after BC!) but I'll have fun losing it.
Mscal, I always wear makeup too and try hard to look as good as I can with what I have to work with! Been thinking about going to one of those Look Good Feel Better things and getting a bunch of free makeup, etc. Anybody been to one?
{{{{Amyjo}}}} what wonderful news!! I'm not going to go back and see if I've already said that or I'll lose this post, and anyhow, that deserves to be said again!
Marybe, you sound good. Hope you had luck with the chatting. SV, it looks like we're gonna have to come down there and sit on you to get you to stop and take a breath! Really, though, I understand and don't blame you a bit. You gotta do what you want to do when you feel like doing it! You're going to probably have a trying week with Angus, too. Hugs to you and to him that you both get through his surgery and recovery.
Just had another arimidex hot flash and here I sit in my heavy duty flannel winter gown! Feel like stripping down to nothing. And only 4 years and 11 months to go. Or more, like you, Isabella.
Barbara, the countdown is ON! Night, all.
Kathy
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for amyjo..3jays 0 -
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{G>D>}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}will email u Marybe.. 3jays0
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Dh and I babysat DGB 5 mo old tonight for DD anniversary. Wow I have not been alone with sweet baby and no nursing mommy before. Wow it took a lot of work. It was sort of funny it took DD and DSIL forever to lleave for dinner, I think they were worried. We all survived and I once again have a greater appreiciation of young families. My recollections are sort of foggy about those days.
I start Rads tomorrow. 35 total. After chemo I sure hope this is easier, for real. I am just a littlebit nervous.
SV, you woke up! Ai yi yi! Puppy prayers for Angus for smooth week and good health.
Barb A keep healthy now and dream dreams of sandy beaches in port and wonderful concoctions served in coconuts enroute.
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Connie, good for you blowing the deck off. I don't think I could even lift a leaf blower let alone start it. SV - try to chill. Right. Kathy, good for you! I think the ship has a casino so I shall take a turn. I am one of those gamblers who, when they win, hits the road. 3jays, glad they seem to have fixed your internet. Ginger - how great to have a little baby around! I never had children and the thought of baby sitting a real baby terrifies me.
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QCA, My friend Lee went to one of those Look Good, Feel Good deals and she loved it....got all kinds of neat makeup, expensive Sh#T as she put it. 3jays....are those people cheering or doing Zumba.....my father is fascinated with Zumba....tells me everytime he goes to the life center he sees them doing this Zumba and it moves everything. The way he talks I think he is implying I should try it....no way...not this old body. I did succeed in chatting. Good luck with the rads, Ginger. Off to walk Harley now. Another day off....I am going to not want to go back to work.0
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I went to the Look Good Feel Better thing here and thought it was wonderful. It shows how not alone you are when there is a room full of people in a similar boat. For someone like me who hardly ever wears make up it was quite a learning experience. It was my first (and last) time wearing mascara. This was June 09 and I am still using some of the goods and certainly the lessons. Oh yes - and there was lots of good stuff!
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3Jays, I just love the Happy Dance!! ((((Gingerbrew)))) let us know how the rads went today!!! We are all there holding your hand-though I understand the procedure only takes a second-still the SE's of being exhausted were the complaint of the gals Iknow hwo have been thru it. And I am with Barb-the mere thought of babysitting has always terrified me!!! What is that about. My Dad tried tomake me babysit once (cause he wanted to prepare me for wifedom-yeah right) and I totally freaked out and called my MOMMY after about 1/2 of being with the brats and they were sleeping!! One had night terrors and I lost it over the screaming!! So Mom had to come rescue and I never had to babysit again!! I would have been the worst mother and glad I have never had kids though think about it now that i am sober-too late!! And yeah, I usually DO wake up during surgery! I did so many street drugs that my drug tolerance is still incredibly high even with 22 years sober. I have not met an anesthesia guy or doc who has NOT said, "we have NEVER had to use so many drugs on a patient" to put one out!!! And I want cool make-up stuff! 'cept I don't wear it. Is anyone still having trouble with their eyelashes and mascara???? Mine fall out or break off still and it is a year after chemo. XXOOO, SV
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QCA , I went to the look good feel better class and it was wonderful! They show you how to put make up on the correct way and give you so much expensive stuff.Like lassie said you get to meet other people that are going through too and you know that you are not alone in this fight and race for your life.
Gingerbrew make sure you get something to put on that area. I had asked the head nurse for something and she would ask are you burning yet? By the time she gave me something it was too late. When I told the doctor he said she was suppose to give you something before it got to this point. Ask if you can use Aquaphor during treatment or at night after each treatment. I finished Rads in April 10 and still use Aquaphor at night for tightness and to keep my skin soft in the radiated area.
StillVerticle I am just tired of the one breast up and the other one down and not being able to wear anything low cut When I bend over I have to put my hand over my chest area so my fake homemade breast won't show. And after awhile if I am not careful I find myself leaning towards the floor on the breasted side.(uneveness) I am not dead yet. I have a few little babies around but after about 5 minutes I am calling their parents to come and get them.
God has given the doctors knowledge on how to make us look normal as possible which was once only for the rich and famous. I will have mine done on this expensive insurance that has been paid probably enough to have 100 reconstructions down through the years, and I am just going to go for it.The breast that is left ,the nipple is pointing to the floor,so I will be glad to have it lifted and look like a young girl again.We only have a short time on this earth and cancer is trying to cut that short.If I am to go down I am going to go down with 2 teenage breasts.(lol)
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i too, had the BEST experience with look Good, Feel Better.. got the makeup: till bc i never went out w/out it.. look so bad, i don't care much.. but, they drilled it into me to use a little blush everyday, and they're right. it mmakes a big difference! they have an annual fashion show here, every yr. i was in it: all 168 lbs of me; and i had a blast. plan on doing it every year. Here, they give you wigs, as well. i got some really nice ones.. the Am. CA soc. only had blonde, insisted i take it; and i'm a redhead! ( i later, got to pass it on; but REALLY? good to check in with you ladies. say your prayers, i'm headed to drug land tommorrow afternoon to do the MRI they couldn't get done friday. My tech 9 I've been goimng to him for 10 yrs) said he'd switch days so he caould do me; as i won't use anyone else!! he was shocked about the BEAST. I've only gone for MS all this time.. i'm nervous a a snake tonite, but this time tommorrow, i'll be 1/2 baked, and done. then, the waiting begins... 3jays0
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3jays I'll keep you in prayer.
I should try the look good program. I think I look terrible, I was always thin until I quit smoking at 36. Now I am nearly 6 feet tall, way overweight, sagging skin, one low slung boob and one that looks all deflated now. I just picture all the beautiful young ones at the program and me the old lady. Now how vain is that of me? How self centered, but I am telling the truth I feel embarassed by how I look now. When I see my old friends. when they smile I see them immediately. Maybe it is the same for me.
I had my first rads today. I was shaky even though I knew it would be easy. I was surprised by that, I couldn't even read because I was shaking the magazine so hard. The techs were nice and my machine had the starry sky above it, it is easy for me to think good thoughts looking at that. Now I have finsihed one and have 34 to go. Count downhad begun.
I hope everyone is doing oklay this week. Angus has surgery tomorrow right? Let us know right away please SV.
MSCAL02
I have some things to put on my boob, I just haven't yet. I don't understand how it can help since we can't use sunblock? I will use something though.
Marybe I have somehow missed what sort of work you do. I hope it is something you love so that when you do need to return it energize you and make you feel all excited. Prayers for your scans and such. It is so nice you can have the same tech.
Niter all
GInger
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Oh 3jays, I can imagine how nervous you are tonight. Know that ALL our arms are around you now and tomorrow, and during all the waiting too. We'll be waiting with you and saying our prayers. I do believe there's a power in numbers when all are praying for the same thing, and every one of us will be praying for the same thing for you! Your favorite tech obviously thinks you're pretty special, and we do too.
Thanks all for your encouragement re the look good feel better thing. I have the number for the one here and will call when I get back from Cherokee. From what y'all said, it (and all the free stuff) sounds great, plus meeting other people going through this too.
Ginger, today I'm 2 months post rads and I really had no problems with it other than a little fatigue which is gone now. Really, I only had a couple of times when I was just "give out" (Southern expression for being dead tired), and that was mainly when I tried to do too much. They gave me samples of aquaphor right at the first and I used it every night and used the non-petroleum Eucerin during the day, less greasy. And although it seems like forever, it does eventually end!
Kathy
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3jays, prayers and hugs for you, gal!!
Ginger - I used emu oil because 1. it has anti-inflammatory properties 2. a friend used it 3. I am very fair. I did not burn at ALL. I slathered it 3-4 x day and the nipple got tan and the breast had red dots on it but no burn. I'm just saying...
Kathy, even though I am done with active treatment, maybe I can still get into a class. I need serious help. I look 15 years older than I did.
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Ginger - I am guessing that you look much more like you than it might seem. I think I look nothing like the me of the glory days. But . . .
In late October I was at the bank and the woman asked me if the card in question was mine. I showed her my driver's license. She said, "you look like a teacher I had, but she had a different name." I asked if it was my birth name. "Yes!" she said. I changed last names in the mid 70s. Almost 40 years later, she saw past the extra 100 pounds, she saw past the grey chemo curls hair (my hair used to be long and dark), she probably didn't notice the fake boob hanging differently than the real one and she didn't mention the now necessary glasses. She just remembered me. I like to think most people are like that - not noticing the details, just the person.
It seems to me that most of the people at the Feel Good Look Better workshop weren't so young and all of them (by definition) were in or just past chemo, certainly not lookng their best.
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Hi Ladies! This is a great day! Let us rejoice! We are still on this side of the grass! I have decided that I am going to be happy,through all the aches and pains. Find something to laugh at today. Maybe something you did silly,or just do something silly.When someone asks how I am doing I just say wonderful eventhough I might feel like crap.(lol) After a while I have to ask myself ,when did that pain leave? Ginger I am 6ft tall and wayyyy over weight. My mom was big and tall and I always said I would never be big and tall. Well chemo and Femara said differently. I use to be way skinny. My mom told my husband that my neck was so long and skinny that you could hang clothes on it.Ha! I will be consulting with the PS on the 25th to see if he can give me two teenage breasts.te! he! he!
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Oh Lordy, they put me on new meds and I have gained 30 more pounds in the past few months. I am tipping th scales at 280 pounds and there is just noway that I am going to get this weight off-I mean I REALLY HAVE TOO-cause the SE's of the weight are just too profound. I have nver been this heavey and not even close to being this heavy. Yup from a size 2 to a size 3-4x-living the dream!!
Ok gals, the first batch of pix have been sent out to: Connie, Barb J, Elizabeth in Calif, Lynn in Georgia, Paula in Wiscon, and Chrissy in Australia. I know who I have left, but I am down with some freaking massive bug that is going around-sinus infection; can't breathe; wierdest dreams ever!! Like "Alice in Wonderland stuff" so very vivid-maybe the Vit D shortage or it kicking in-either way, I don't know but these are head knockers! love you all and enjoy-and Chrissy, man I had to turn over everything to get something sent to Australia-your gov't has slammed its borders shut and so should ours-send your gov't team over here to run the USA would you?? SV
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I went to the Look Good...Feel Good, got some really nice, pricey lipsticks, eye shadow, and I can't remember all the items...duh!! Unfortunately the gal presenting was a hair stylist and also sold wigs,even though I got a lot of good info about wigs and the things that go under them, we didn't get a whole lot of info about make-up tricks. My daughter went ga-ga when see saw the items I got. It was a nice evening and it helped me to realize there were other people in a lot worse shape than I was.
Keep going with the rads....you'll get there Ginger and remember we are all there in spirit with you. I just referred to the changes in my skin as a "tan".
SV, I will be checking the mail frequently...can hardly wait. How is Angus holding up?
BarbaraA....how many hours b4 you set sail!!
I am hoping to get into work all 4 days this week, only 2 left! I can't stay the whole day because I just fizzle out and am useless. On top of it all I am still dealing with this freaking sinus infection. I'll get an xray tomorrow and we'll see what's cookin' in there.
Anyone I did not mention, too shot to go back a few pages, believe me you are all very special to me.....gentle hugs.......
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Oooooo SV, I'll be checking the mail box with sweet anticipation from now until the pic arrives! Yup, our Gov. is pretty good at closing the doors, except when it comes to queue jumping boat people! Sorry, sore point with a lot of people including me. This subject I try to stay away from as I end up getting on a very high soap box and once I get started I just can't stop! Oh I do so hope you start to feel better soon! you have to take more care of yourself. I know it's easier to ignore what your body needs but please, listen to it and take better care! How's young Angus doing? Has he had his op yet? poor baby I fully feel for him as I know just how painful bad knees can be.
I am finally fully on the mend. I think all the extra sleep and Aunty-B's have done their job well. Two more days with Aunty-B and I can kick her to the curb and hopefully will not need her around again for another three years....lol.
Hope everyone else is well and having a wonderful day!
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Yippe-Skippy Chrissy! And Angus goes in for surgery tomorrow with stay overnight at the vet. I am chewing my nails-I just cannot believe that happened-man his knee just snapped when he was running on the beach-ARRGH!! XXOO SV
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