Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Hey Zenith-there is a whole website called 'Taxotears" and deals with women who's hair did not grow back after Taxotere (the gift that keeps on giving). There is a lot of support there and women with your experience-i had Tax a year ago and my hair has only grown out about two inches-but it is finally beginning to fill in-I cannot wear mascara as it still pulls my eyelashes out!! Honestly, it has taken a year for my hair to even begin to come back in. I am so sorry you had this drug-it whacked me-I was allergic to it and after first dose was so ill for months!!!! Keep your chin up gal-I know it is hard-get to your hairdresser like I did and let her work the magic! SV
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SV, I thought your hair looked quite nice when we saw you in Duck. Zenith, just give it time....there are a few who do not have their hair grow back, but they are the exception. It is tough to be patient, I know. I used to go look in the mirror every few hours and was constantly rubbing my hand over my head when it was just starting to come in...may have even rubber a little off!
My friend's husband got called yesterday to be an extra in the George Clooney movie....they are filming the part he is in next Tuesday. The gal I work with saw Marissa Tome at a restaurant yesterday. The town is all aflutter about these celebs being here.
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It is a beautiful Saturday morning here. DH is sitting out having his breakfast, had mine earlier but will make some coffee for myself.
Had to see the BS yesterday as have had very swollen area from neck to underarm, she thinks its LE which I have in my arm and side anyway but it has a large hard area in the centre so will have a scan next week just to check it out. Anyway it has been making me feel quite off this week.
Last night had a Tupperware party - was great fun, got together a group of 'old friends'. The lass doing it was a friend of my DDs and she is trying to get to be a manager so I was being kind.
Zenith be patient about your hair especially if you are on an AI it will take time.
Must go and make my coffee.
Big hugs to all.
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I've just about had it with my niece and maybe all you wise ladies (yeah, y'all) can help me put things in perspective. Niece is 42 years old and she's the one I previously said would not work in a pie factory tasting pies. They have no income except what my sister and BIL can give them, get food stamps, etc, etc. She has a 5 year old who she's home schooling due to "all that goes on" in the public schools. The child has never had a baby-sitter! Anyhow, this niece is obsessed with everyone's health conditions and I don't believe she has time to work because she's always on the internet researching---knows more than the drs, pharmacists, nutritionists combined.
Niece thoroughly researched her mother's reaction to chemo, which resulted in some brain damage due to lack of oxygen and eventually resulted in the loss of her legs for the same reason. She's just gotten her MIL placed in a nursing home and now her attention has turned to her father, who, she's convinced, has dementia at age 67. She's absolutely obsessed with this, and has called me twice this week regaling me with incidents which seem to justify her fears. Oh, also he could have a brain tumor since brain tumors have occurred in him family. Per her research, it could also be a medication imbalance.
Now, her dad, my BIL, is the only caretaker for my sister and I don't know what we'd have done without him. It's been a very stressful almost 3 years with her, first from not knowing if she'd live, to the 1-month long medically induced coma, to the amputation of her legs, etc, etc. He was there all day, every day, while she was hospitalized, and he's of course had to do everything in the house and provide her care, take her to therapy daily ever since she got home. She can only wear her legs about 6 hours a day even now, so for most of the time she's in bed or in a wheelchair. I pointed this out to my niece, who jumped on the defensive and claimed she'd given her dad plenty of breaks---to my mind, a couple of hours less than once a month don't get it.
Her plans now are to write to her dad's doctor and detail all her observations about her dad's dementia. I'll be making the trip to see my sister and BIL hopefully next week (he's painting the inside of their house now) and maybe see for myself what's going on, if anything. My sister has said nothing to me about it, but maybe that's because he's always there.
I know there's not much advice anybody can give since all I have is my niece's perspective, but at least I feel a little better just getting it out. You know, I haven't even had time to grieve for my dad and my aunt yet and I feel like I'm strung out pretty thin right now. I guess this was my first bc.org rant!
Kathy
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Wow, sounds like a lot is going on there. And exactly what does she hope to achieve if she does prove her father had dementia? If I am correct dementia is not the same Alzheimer's....doesn't everyone get some dementia with age? Does she want power of attorney? Does she want to totally take over her mother's care? Sounds to me like she doesn't have enough to do and is looking for problems. Or do you think what her parents give her isn't enough, and maybe she thinks she can get it all? Does this niece have a husband? I think going there and seeing what is actually going on is a good idea. Is your sister with it mentally? And don't apologize for ranting....we need to do it every so often to keep our sanity. Sorry I really don't have any constructive advice for you. Hang in there.
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Thanks, Marybe. You're right on about a lot of it. I know a while back my niece did approach her parents about being their power of attorney and they wouldn't consent to it, wisely. She does have a husband, but he had a grand mal seizure a few years ago and he doesn't work anymore, although he 's now taking classes to be a paramedic. I personally think she wants everything they have, and she's already said she and her family can move in with my sister and BIL to care for them. It stands to reason to me that she and her husband and son would certainly have a lot more if they did move in with her parents, like free housing and food, plus better transportation. I've never forgotten what one of my sister's friends said to me when this niece was a teenager--she said "they'd better put some reins on that child". Unfortunately, they never did.
Kathy
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Hate to say this, but I can just see them moving in there taking over and not helping your sister one bit.
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Where is everyone? Is there a party going on and I wasn't invited?
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Marybe....if there is a party I didn' know about it either!
Kathy...that niece of yours seems like she is up to no good. I do hope you have a little control and be able to protect your sister and BIL. It is so frustrating to see things like that going on and not have any say in it.
Zenith....be patient with the hair growth, hopefully the thin patches will fill in, other wise perhaps a hairdresser could show you ways so that is is not so noticeable. I have a couple of areas that are thin and the gal that does my hair gave me some pointers along with a good cut.
Alyson...I do hope the swelling gets reabsorbed and isn't LE . (((((HUGS)))))
suzie
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Gentle Hugs for everyone. I have been AWOL - took a break from the boards for a bit and trying to catch up on the newbies ( Welcome ) and what is going on with everyone. I spent 4 days in Florida and just had xrays of my leg for pain that wakes me up at night. Good news is nothing shows on the xray, blood work is good, and onco says IF the pain continues till the end of the month, we will see if insurance covers an MRI. Oh - my 65th birthday came and went and I have tapped into medicare and my supplemental insurance already. Sleeping in the recliner stops the waking up with pain, and since I live alone, who cares where I sleep.
Hair seems to be the latest topic - mine is thinner than before chemo, less curly than before chemo, but I had a lot of hair before. Extra Hugs for Kathy and her family issues. Each day I marvel at the nastiness of some family members - and for no real reason. Alyson, very gentle hugs and here's to no LE. You are so active, I wonder if you over did it?
Eyes are drooping. 2 tylenol and off to the recliner. Happy weekend, Nancy
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(((Yeah GramE))) missed you!! I have had a very wierd day-trying to rest after yesterday's long photo excursion but being bothered by that THING between my ears. My brain is just rattling around creating havoc-very restless and despite being very tired, not sleeping! Kathy, The neice sounds like she is up to no good-is this something you need to get involved in?? I am forever amazed at the things family will do to other family members-I mean i would not do things like this to a stranger!!
Good news is that I found my list of BC sisters that I have not gotten matted pix off too and AmyJo, i found your piece, but think i want to double matte it. So getting there-the only questions is Rae, did i get one off to you? Too tired to track it down. xxooo, SV
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hey ladies... good to see SOMEONE here.. i've buzzed by a coup;le of times, and noone was here.. MARYBE and sus, i didn't get an invite to that private party, either..
IN CASE i cant remember who is "out" w/bc and who's in the closet.. IF you're in OBX.. FB then what you post is on your wall.. be careful ( i hate FB for just that reason. im much more private, dontcha know)
anyone heard from Isabella? been looking don't see any post for awhile.. where are you, darling woman? getting ready for the "royal" wedding?? i miss you. can't find the orig. post, but heard you hired someone to help part time. hope thats' tru. you work too hard!! any news on DAVE?? well, thats' me, all questions, and no answers lol whats' between my earsis driving me crazy, also SV... 3jays
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Cherie, So glad to see you. I don't know where Isabella is....maybe she is busy hanging window treatments in her new room. Sounds like construction moves along a lot faster in the UK than it does here....I was talking to Ron last night who is doing the bathroom at my Dad's and he was explaining to me why he didn't put the baseboards back and I still have to get this bullnose that was out of stock there, but they had it at Lowe's here to him. And then I asked when he thinks he may start on the 2nd floor bath and he said well, if they break ground on this twinplex by his Mom and Dad's he will be tied up until winter.....I said you won't even get to it til then!!! and he said he will get back to me on it. Yeh, I could have someone else do it, but he's good and he is also reasonable, plus being my exboyfriend he knows how picky I am and does it right the lst time so he won't have to do it over. I remember when he did the kitchen floor here and I came home and he aske Well, what do you think? and I said well, it looks nice, but I like it when they go like this and showed him and he said You mean diagonal and I said I guess ....SOOoo he had to redo the entire floor, but it really looks nice. The same way with the bullnose on the edge of the counter....he had it on and I came home with some soapstone and said well, I really would have liked this on there so that's what it is now. Handy guy, but I found difficult to live with. You see really the problem is me, I can't live with any of them happily.
I want to get out of my gemzar on Wed. since I am going to Chicago that evening, but the onco nurse made me feel like I was crazy to even suggest such a thing....I would only be putting it off til Monday which would not even be a week!! I just don't want to feel like I have the flu in Chicago and that is how it has made me feel the last two times. So I will discuss this with my onco on Wed. The way my bones feel, I don't think it is working anyway.
Well, I must go. Yet another fondue party this evening....there will be nine of us so I am going to have to dig out the other fondue pot and have one on each end. Maybe I should start doing this for people....Fondue will travel....or You too can Fondue or something like that....I know they pay a lot for it at the Melting Pot and mine is much better if I do say so myself.
Have a great day, ladies. Barb, I will try to catch up with you. Maybe this experience will give Dave a new lease on life and he will want to do something like get a job and start helping Mom out.
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Alyson - So sorry you have a new ache/pain. Fingers and toes crossed.
GramE - missed you!!
Kathy - your niece is up to no good. Keep an close eye on her. If your BIL seems fine to you, warn him.
3jays - the OBX gals on FB is PRIVATE!! The only people who can see our posts are members of OBX gals. Yes, they show up in your news feed because you are a member.
Isabella - hope your new bedroom is coming along.
Su - hi!!
MaryBe - Dave getting a job will be a cold day in hell. He has had 4 meals now and is much stronger, though he will need PT because his muscles have atrophied from laying in bed for 5 6 weeks. Have a great trip to Chicago!!
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Hi Marybe...I'm here !
Just taking life one gear slower than usual this week. I am pleased to have someone to take a bit of my work from me, well, a lot actually. Come summer and I won't have much at all to do. Just waiting now for warmer weather to put my animals outside, and see all my barns empty. This'll mean very little work, and more time to myself. Decided I am fed up of permanent work. I had a birthday this last week, and just got to evaluating things a little. Always get this way around yet another birthday ! Its not that I want to go anywhere, or do much different, but I just want to stand and smell the daisies ( if daisies smell, I don't think they do !) now and then.
I need to be able to just stay in bed an extra hour if I feel that way...never was much good at getting up...and not have to stumble outside half asleep with my sweater on back to front, and go do smelly things before I can even get a coffee. My new girl seems to be working out well, so hopefully she'll do me out of my job ! Had to reassure G/son as he was thinking I was trying to push him away. I'm not, but I want him to go on and shine in his own right without thinking he has to come sort me out .He seems to be doing well at college, only goes 1 day a week this year, plus 4 days a week at a bike garage. He did a full time year last year, and will go full time again next year, then hopefully on to his own motorbike service station, courtesy of his father and DD, who are setting him up with a workshop in one of their garages. He is still in two minds about bikes and farming, but I am advising getting his bike qualifications, as it will always be there to fall back on.
We have had a miserable 2 days weather wise, misty cold yesterday and almost an inch of snow this morning (tho' we are not allowed to say inch now, I should have said two and a half centimetres, but I NEVER will. I just do not want to know these foreign measurements) I am still in feet and inches and always will be, just as most of the older people here will say. I almost always have a tape measure with me when shopping as I have no idea at all when asked 'do you want 200cm, or 220cm sheets. WHAT does this mean? nothing to me. I was out looking at new bedding this week, and just for once I forgot my tape, and had no idea at all what I was looking for, and the girls behind the counters were just no good at all. I don't think they even knew what centimetres were let alone inches. Curious thing is when a baby is born its always announced in the paper as 7lbs 3 oz, and just everybody knows just how big that child will look, even tho' its against the law to write it as such. I have to sell my eggs in grams, but I will NOT do it. One day I shall be locked up....then I will have my day in court to tell the world that the law IS an ass.
I have had a house full today. DD, G/son, 2 G/daughters, and G/sons GF....all spoiling me , a flurry of late birthday cards, parcels to unwrap and a box of squishy cream cakes. I had to cancel an outing on the actual birthday, trip to the vet took precedence for drugs for a sick sheep, so everyone converged on me this morning. I was still in my PJs feeding puppies when they turned up. I wasn't expecting anyone, and had re arranged my birthday meal for tomorrow, but we shall still go, might as well, the weather is so sh**ty no point in trying to get jobs done outside.
Taking advantage this week of extra help, my house is beginning to start to look tidy (just a bit !) I am a great dasher in and outer and drop something as I go, always intending to put it away later, and when later comes hours further down the line I am to pooped to start tidying away. My building is coming along fine. We don't work very fast in UK, builders are notoriously lazy devils, but I have some who will come and w.o.r.k....which is unusual. I put a time line on my building, and stick to it, whipping them into shape by being a damned nuisance to them all the time, and threatening they'll not get paid fully if they don't finish. (I have never had to carry this threat out yet, and don't know if I would not pay them or what !) 18 months ago we were re-roofing the barn I have converted, and I was up on the scaffolding every night looking for faults, and I found plenty. They were laying new roofing slabs, then walking over them. I warned them..... they still walked.....so I would go up every night and chalk mark all the cracked ones, and have them replaced !! And I would not pay the bill for 2 pallets of replacement slabs. So now they are wary of what I am watching them do. When they at last learned not to walk on my new slabs I went up most days while they were on the roof, and painted all the upstairs woodwork, taking advantage of the scaffolding to get at everything. Don't know how I hauled myself up there daily, couldn't do it this year for sure ! Another trick I have to make them work is to say if they don't get on with things I will pay them by cheque, no cash transaction at all, so it has to go thru' their books !!! I work mainly with cash, as most farmers here do, and builders know this so I can always get someone to come and work for me ! I had to have an emergency plumber out yesterday. Builders hit a water pipe, and I had a fountain in my new bedroom for a few minutes ! Also while he was here I had him plumb me up an outside toilet that was leaking. As it was cash I got a very good price, less than he would have charged for the call out fee if I'd given him a cheque.
I must get to bed now its going up 1 am, and I am rambling again !
Isabella.
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Happy Birthday Isabella! I hope you got to set aside some of the squishy cakes for yourself.
You were up on the rafters painting! You are a dare devil aren't you? I do like your style with the builders. It sounds like our builders are the same everywhere, slow, slow, slow. You have the right attitude to get teh job done correctly.
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isabella! its' so good to "see" you here again. i've been missing you!! you ryn your workers very much like i did, in my 1st marriage. we subcontracted out all the work, and i paid cash. and, followed the job clsely. the difference is, it was 30 yrs ago, and no bc.. how you're doing it now, i'll never know.
its' sweet your GS is afraid your taking his job away from him while he's in college, he needs to concentrate on that, but im sure he'll not ever leave you in the lurch. he's been so steady for you. i agree (not that you asked) that he get his bikes, and such, to fall back on. always good on a farm, also, if yyou're mech, inclined ...
im so happy for you, if your slowing down, and smelling whatever..daisies, roses. you deserveit. ive not seen a harder working lady than yourself. i envy you the puppies. used to raise dobies' and breedthem. again, could never do it now.. but, there's nothing like the smell of a puppy.. until they roll in their own poop, eh?
Happy Birthday, dear girl. im glad everyone showed today, and have another celebratory dinner!!! thinking of you. 3jays
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Happy Birthday one day late, Isabella. I wish you could post a pic of your place....it sounds wonderful. Good morning everyone else, I have a pile of dishes to do today from last night. The most exciting part of the evening was when the fire could not be put out on the fondue pot and my friend Lee's husband got into a panic when the wet pot holder I gave him to smother it didn't work so he took the entire burner outside. I think I was the only one who didn't panic and I was busy laughing and taking pics. I am going to post a few on here....in the one with the women...Lee, next to me is done with treatment and waiting for her implant exchange and Susan, the redhead (it's a great wig, don't you think?) just had her last chemo on Friday. I find it very strange that two of my good friends have BC and do not think those one in eight stats are accurate at all
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Marybe,
I haven't posted much on this forum, but read you info re: the one in eight stats. I agree with you--I think it's much higher than that. I live in the Pacific Northwest and don't have to look far to find someone who's either a survivor or in treatment for BC. One cause that's been kicked around is that we don't have as much sun and don't get enough vitamin D. The amazing thing is how young some of the women are. In my support group there are several women in the 30-40 age group, and I know of one 26 year old. I feel fortunate to be diagnosed in this particular era--my Mom had the old "radical" mastectomy and many serious complications. Today I had chocolate and cookies for breakfast; love to all who are going through pain and hard times. Wish I could send you all warm knitted things, puppies and cocoa.
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Just popped by to read and see how things were.
Happy belated birthday Isabella, sounds a great time.
Have to get dressed and take GD to M&Ms- music and movement - as her mother needs a rest with baby due in 3 weeks. Then I will go to the gym.
Hope your Sunday was as pleasant as mine. Church was great especially the young organist who makes the organ talk, then helped DDand SiL clean up a tree that had fallen, had a 'nana nap' and then out again to a very big formal Church service which was wonderful in its own way as they used some of the hymns and readings from the first service 160 years ago.
Have a peaceful day.
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Hello everyone I am a lurker and have BC. I was diagnosed in November,2010. Guess it is about time I come out of the closet. I have had a mastectomy and reconstruction. I will have my last of four treatments of Adriyncin and Cytoman this Thursday. Then will start 12 weeks of Taxotere and finally radiation. I do have a port for my chemo.
Other than the surgeries being tired all the time and losing my hair has been the worst for me.
I am 64 years old. Married to the same guy for for 44 years. I have two grown sons, daughter-in-laws and 6 grandchildren. Aged from 6 years to 18 years (I was a grandmother way before I wanted to be,) We all live close together.
I live in southeast Alabama on a farm that has been in my husband's family for 5 generations. I love feeding the wildbirds. I especially love the hummingbirds. I am so waiting for them to start their northern migration. They should be arriving on the gulf coast anyday now. It will be two weeks before they start visiting my backyard.
I also plant flowers to attract butterflies and grow as many host plants I can for them.
The daffodils are beginning to bloom here and seeing the cheerful yellow is such a spirit lifter. Llife does go on.
I
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welcome, mimidi!! This is a fine group of wonderful folks who enjoy everything and can come and kvetch when they need to.
Isabella, Happy belated Birthday!! Glad things are moving along!
Tired. Had a mandatory company meeting and just got back so no weekend off for me. Ugh.
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Welcome Mimidi, It sounds as if you are getting the same treatment my friend Lee did....although all she has are tissue expanders so far and they are making her wait til June to get the implants put in. Barb is right, this is a good group .
Dragon, my sister lives in Milwuake which I think is considered part of Portland. I can't believe how things grow out there...she has butterfly bushes that look like trees. Where are you in OR?
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Marybe,
It's true Milwaukie is just south of Portland. Things, esp. trees, grow like weeds here due to so much rain!! We are about to start our garden. Broccoli and all the cabbage family do well but haven't had much luck with tomatoes. I'm almost 3 months out from my implant exchange but it's looking kind of strange and may have to be revised. Don't know yet. I was 64 when I was diagnosed and it wasn't totally out of the blue--Had had cysts and biopsies and all kinds of things for years. I was so tired of those troublesome girls!! I don't regret the bilateral mastectomy for a minute but it has been really difficult being a "patient" for the first time. I hate the whole thing--I felt like a little girl again. i guess when you get older you have to learn how to cope with illness and I can see that's going to be part of my life for the future. My question now is how to still have a life and be sort of sick at the same time. For a while there my life was just gone.
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Mimidi...hello and welcome.
Dragon...you'll adjust.I 've had a bilateral., and you just get used to it..tho' I like your question 'how to have a life and be sort of sick at the same time....just about sums things up, doesn't it ? The two just sort of run along together, some days the having a life bit wins, and you forget bc for a few hours ( tho' it took me a few years to not think about bc every hour, on the hour !! ) Some days something triggers it all off and you feel sorry for yourself....but there will be a happy medium for you again.
Isabella.
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MimiD-HELLO AND WELCOME!! This is the club that noone wants to have to join but there are great gals here and everyone is here for you!! I am so glad you came out of the lurking closet. Yes, we are a bit looney, but a very tight group with lots of love and support to share!! Isabella, GIRL HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! And MB, so glad that you got pix out of your party. This is a short post, my asthma is really acting up and I am sucking on the 'Hooka" full of asthma meds-not helping!! I posted a picture on my FB that I could not believe i got and will try to get it here-it is just so wrong in so many ways-but it had a very happy ending!!! XXOOO, SV
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And OK, this is the pix that is so wrong is so many ways-I took it cause I thought the freaking bird had seaweed in its mouth-nope!!! NO WEED!!!
Believe it or not, I have the whole sequence of the frog beating the beeegeeesuss out of the heron and getting away from the heron's bill, to croak another day!! SV
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welcome mimidi
Happy belated isabella:)
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It is a great pic, SV as all of yours are....am happy the frog got away though.
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Welcome, mimidi, but as SV mentioned...sorry we had to meet like this for the bc reason.
SV so glad the frog got away...hope contines to get away.
Marybe, happy that the fondue party didn't burn to the ground. I love the group picture of your friends all together. When you get together with the bc members in Chicago, would you please ask them if they have heard from nikki the nurse? She was one of my chat supporters when I was initially diagnosed. Do you think they'll delay the gemzar treatment until you get back...I hope so as long as it isn't detrimental to you.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY< Isabella!!!
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