Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Thanks, Suz and HnS. It was NOT the flesh-eating stuff, thank G_d! Just came back. They tried to wean him off the respirator today but it didn't go well so they out him back on it and sedated him. Not all the way under but he is drifitng in and out. He didn't remember that I was there this morning because he grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight! He just wanted to know someone was there. So I held his hand and told him to get better. He probably forgot what I told him about what happened to him. So I will keep telling him until he remembers. Things are definitely looking up.
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OK, what is white outside and brown inside???? MY freaking house!! I awoke to 4 inches or more of snow on the OBX (now melting to solid ice) jumped out of bed to look thru the window and stepped in pounds of cold, wet puppy pooooooo!!!!! My poor Angus, he is on meds for his leg healing and he cannot 'squat' or will not sqwat in the snow and get his little butt cold!! But he does like Berber Carpet!! I mean this is an industrial strength clean-up job-SO, I used two can of Resolve like pepper spray-pinching my nostrils--put a towel over the mess-wiggled my feet in the shower and went back to bed-hey if we can handle BC, we can handle anything!!!! I know TMI!! Not much rocks my world anymore-new gals-welcome-this is the one place where we have a great sense of humor and no worries about Pee's or Que's or that you are going to get whacked for something you wrote-we know everyone has chemo brain and in my case two brain cells to rub together but bestest friends here to keep me on the right path in a kind and loving way-no public humiliations, whipping posts or stocks out in front of the courthouse-WELCOME!!! I am feeling like crap today-very depressed, cried all day and no idea why-spent the day with bag of TP and my head under the covers-I am really isolating way too much and just no gumption to get outside or do much of anything. Depression is bad. A lot of remembering the past which is just painful (life before BC) and the body I had when I was 20 years old and like-there is no hope for me now-I am weighing in at close to 270 pounds and I do not eat-for real-I live on toast and peanut butter-for some reason, my stomach won't handle anything else-and I mean this has been my diet for 6 months or more-oh and gatorade and a gazillion vitamins!! Food just smells awful to me and the aftertaste is worse-not even a trip to the Black Pelican got me out of the dumps this week. What the heck is going on. And the 'idea' of rescue horses' is WAAAYYY better than the real thing-I have been there done that. it takes an enormous amount of work to socialize one horse alone, let alone two-and they have to be kept seperate to modify behavior-it is a 24/7 job and that does not include the vet bills.My suggestions, Get a bombproof horse that you can ride and have fun with-you have enough to worry about-especially with our own health and these animals require work every day!! And hard work!! Again, I have been there and done that and cannot imagine doing it post BC-I am not even healed yet. But a good horse is very grounding-but one must be ablt to afford and do hoof care, hide care, costly vet care, floating teeth, shoeing....everything-cause if a horse can get into any trouble, it will!! Truly I have been thinking about getting one of my own-a tenn walker that is gaited-but the ground here is so swampy-the hoof problems are terrible for them-still I would love a horse again-too fat to ride now but....who knows. I love going tot he barn and hearing that 'nicker' in the morning!! Big smooshy kisses to all-and I am sunk post life- have no llaso Apso.....good grief, what if i croak...hey Barb, you got room in that wicked slender body of yours to fit another soul in there???? OML, I'd have so much fun just playing in your closet with your new dresses!!!! ;0}}}}}} Big Smooshy Kisses and oh AJ, i am not sure i sent your pix. After reading your post, i did not. I know I printed and matted it cause it is gorgeous-got ahold of Mitch today and put in order for the matte colors I need to finish my very late xmas presents to the rest of the POD!!!! i got sidetracked workingon a huge print project for some one who wants very large format of the double flying pelicans-and Barb J you want them too right?? Hugs to all, SV
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SV-Swans!!
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Barb-hey hon,I know but you just want the "one swan" pix right?? The matte that I ordered today is for those, cause the colors are beautiful. Mitch (my matte order guy) has been out of town. I think we are all in a funk here on the island!! XXOO, SV
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It's February, SV, and the middle of the winter, an extra exciting winter weather wise. It feels like spring will never come (want to trade for some of our snow accumulation?) It's prime season for feeling down. Happens every year at this time. Put on some bright lights, imagine spring and look for the good parts in your life. I think all of us wish we appreciated and still had the bodies we had in our younger days. We don't get to go back (drat) but we can look ahead.
End of rant.
Hope you feel better soon.
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Saw these black swans recently at Taupo, NZs largest lake.
And this was the sunset that evening
The mountains in the background are active volcanos.
And these are nearby Falls, not high but turbulent.
Sending big hugs to everyone
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Still Vertical--let me say I love that name! I envy all of you who have relationships with horses--I truly love them but am allergic to hay!! Content myself with a furry dog who's as obstinate as a horse. Winter is truly a difficult time because of the dark. I'm in Oregon and I know here it gets dark at about 6 right now. In the summer it stays light till 10--I keep focusing on that. Re: bodies--none of us has the body we had when we were 20. I had a stroke at 63 and am still very mobile, but there is a 45% chance of another one. None of my BC docs seemed too concerned about that--but they don't have to lie in bed with me after the next one! I feel so out of shape after these surgeries, but know I've been spared much due to early diagnosis. I feel guilty complaining so I'll stop. Winter is a kind of dark night of the soul, lit by the moon. Let her cradle you in her soothing light. Wish we had a little snow here--love to go outside after dark when there's snow on the ground. Thanks to all who have welcomed me here--nice to know some women who remember the Beatles on Ed Sullivan.
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Meant to say that this morning saw our old cat Barnabas stretched out on the BBQ table in the sun and thought it was a great opporunity to deflea him. Got the stuff ready and walked out slowly, the look on his face was priceless, well actually evil and I did get him before he could move. I can pin him down on the table. He knew before I got there what I was going to do - haven't seen him since. Gus on the other hand - I just called him, picked him up and put the stuff on. I must admit he did sit there for a while looking very put out. Gus needs it as he is actually allergic to fleas and it is flea weather at present. But I do love my two boys although one is ignoring me because DS is home on holiday and he is really DS's cat.
I do wish the pain by my collarbone would go away -its making me really tired.
SV I sure don't have the body I had at twenty - wish I did. I am a lot cuddlier now.
Alyson
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BarbaraA - glad to hear your brother is doing better. Still sending lots of prayers and {{{{HUGS}}}} to you both. Let me know if I can do anything else to help you.
SV - Keep telling yourself Spring is coming, Spring Is Coming, SPRING IS COMING! It really is and by then Angus will be close to going outside to take care of things and you will be back to walking on the beach or driving around looking for the wild horses.
I go to onco tomorrow for my Aredia treatment then Monday to the RO for the simulation and hopefully they will do the first rad treatment then. I really need to get this started so I can get it over with. Hope everyone has a restful night. Joy and blessings, Amy Jo
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Beautiful pictures, Lisa and Alyson! I love seeing what you are seeing, wherever you are. Keep it up!
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ok , so i finally got the results from the PET scan.. NED for cancer.. of course, since its' not cancer; more MS tests. but the last one said MS is not active, so thats' good.
at least, once again; the BEAST has lost!! doin the happy dance here in so. fla. (now, the pain in my ribs just needs to leave me ALONE!!)
Barbara, im so glad daves' doing better. for my mom they had to decrease the oxygen, and increase the amt. she breathed herself for 2 days. then, she was back to breathing on her own..its' scarey, but it'll be ok. don't let your mum see him till its all done...IMHO...
SV ; they sell pee pee pads for dogs. i use them . my dogs r much smaller, i have berber also. it cleans up ok. Get yourself some lights for growing plants. it as the right wattage. what you're feeling probably is sad.. no, not sad.. sad seasonal affective disorder.. i have a bipolar friend that has to have the lamps this time of yr. or its' chaos!! we have em here for my plants i bring in when its cold, and one for me.. R U still taking vit. d? very imp this time of year...
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Alyson, lovely pics! {{{3JAYS}}}}
Thanks for all the good wishes, gals. Dave is doing so much better. Yesterday he was drifting in and out and wanted me to hold his hand. I did and he squeezed really hard. So I just held his hand and told him to get stronger and healthy. Today they will try again to wean him off the respirator.
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Alyson, your pics make me want to visit New Zealand....they are just beautiful.
Barb, so glad your brother is doing better
3jaysmom: doing the happy dance for you.
SV: I think it has been a hard winter for all of us. I have never had SAD but this year with weeks of grey weather, I found myself weepy too. Luckily the sun came out this week for the first time in ages and I went for a long walk and felt alot better. I hope you start to feel better.
Hugs to everyone.
Mandy
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Barbara...hopefully it'll be successful today...go Dave, you can do it.0
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Time for a hit of spring..I saw this just a couple of hours ago when I took my walk..
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No dice on the weaninig. They will try again tomorrow. He is very responsive when they let up on the sedation. And he really wants it out (and the NG tube) But he was out like a light this afternoon when I went. Here's hoping tomorrow is the day!
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Keeping everything crossed for you Barb. Hope your brother manages to come out of it tomorrow.
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Barbara...sorry your brother wasn't able to be weaned....will hope and pray for tomorrow. What does your new avatar say? My feeble eyes can't make out the word!
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Oh wow. C'mon DAVE. You know it's so hard on men to be hospitalized. This must be wearing on you, Barb. But no matter what, you always sound upbeat and positive. Are there other family members helping out.. does he have a wife and kids? You have other siblings? Take care of yourself too. I know we are all hoping and praying that he can breathe on his own. Maybe they should just let him heal a bit longer before they force the issue. Seems to me that weekends in the hosp. are practically worthless for anything. And I don't like the way they push so hard to get you out when you really truly might need the down time.
My sister's DH has a lump on his neck, after a CT yesterday they said that its is similar to kidney stones in his salivary glands!! That's a weird one. Last summer he ruptured his esophagus and had to go to immediate surgery. This time he's doing antiBs first and sched. for 3/10.
I hired a new service today to provide a caregiver for Mom in her home. That's what she wants. Well, she wants me to do it and if not me, then my oldest DD and if not her then my son or my youngest DD who has a baby and is in school full time. And she wants all of us to do it for free. But when I hire a caregiver just to pamper and coddle her then she's half-way nice to me and leaves my kids alone, mostly. I know practically everybody has had a wonderful mother or at least a wonderful relationship with their mother, and I know there's a matter of respect. My mother is the most difficult, impossible to please, sharp-tongued and judgemental person in the entire family and everyone knows it.
I actually wrote letters of apology and to express my love for other family members that my mother has alieinated over the years. And made verbal apologies to some of "their" friends, my folks friends. For her attitudes, snarly opinions, cold shoulders and judgements. My children used to ask me, "Mom, why is grandma so mean to you?" I'm not making this up. I have wished and cried for the love of my mother. Now, I'm in the place where I have to provide for her, and I will, I just don't plan on doing it directly. I plan on the services of a paid provider as long as possible and then I plan to move her to a facility. She ought to be there now but nothing is GOOD ENOUGH for her including all the affordable 3 & 4 star places. She wants the 6 star place and that just ain't gonna happen. If my sister wants to do things differently, so be it, that will be her choice. But she's working in her field now and loving it. Our brother is useless.
Oh dear, I let that go. It tends to haunt me. The issue of providing care for mother. She's 81. Her mother lived to 92 and her grandmother to 102 so potentially we have a lot of years to cover.
Can't wait to hear about the new Alsatians that Isabella brings home. We know you're gonna get a pair of them. And I hope Ginger gets the rescue horses. Just love watching them romp in open pasture and scratching their backs like dogs do with their feet kicking the air, makes me smile. Other than that and feeding them apples and carrot sticks anybody else can do the rest, they are such large animals and although I love them, I'm skiddish around them.
SV - So much snow this winter would make anybody depressed and you are so isolated out there. Neighbors that live 30 miles away don't count. Angus is needy and dependent on you and you've been in deeper darker holes than this one, I KNOW IT. you aren't in that place anymore. Yeah, it hurts, but you are the strongest female on the planet. AND You are producing ART and it's FABULOUS. You are gonna rock the OBX this season with those large format pieces. And then you will have the bucks to put down on a cottage of better quality, more deserving of your love and devotion. Oh, Next time you get out in the sun... I want you to bring that 20 year old body image up and throw that little brat out to sea. It's as past as the past can get, for so many of us. Throw ALL of our 20 yr old body images out there with the dead pirates. Pick up a rock for mine and sling it as far as possible, at low tide. OK?
P.S. Mine had on a pink gingham two-piece swim suit that was fabulously flattering.
Alyson, LOVE the pics. Hope you are feeling better.
I'm going to the BS on Monday for what I believe is LE, aggravated by a mammo. that side is swollen and tender since last Friday. Also dealing with yet another infection, had to reschedule an epidural injection cause they won't do it if you are taking antibiotics. Arrgh.
Welcome new gals.
~Connie
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HAHAHAHA-Connie, I just love you-but man another infection.I hope it gets taken care of and under control soon!! And forget your Mom, there is nothing you can do to please her-now or ever!! As to being able to do my artwork-hardest thing for me is that I cannot take my digitals out if there is snow or rain-I have to keep them so dry. I am thinking of getting my old back-up a 35mm Canon AE-1, which I took to Everest and that thing was bomb proof-I love shooting 35 mm over digital anyway-it is just the developing that is SUCH a hassle and very expensive!! But the shots are worth it and the environments i can use it in much more varied. But I will be broke for next 4 months-doggie payments for angus are $300.00 a month. my website guy keeps calling to get website set up-I need to get ad in the paper and very honestly all I want to do is take off and drive to the North End of the Grand Canyon!!! it is so gorgeous this time of year! My best friend Jane is in Kanab Utah, right near there-she started second round of chemo this week-prayers for her please - she went thru hell and only got about 3 months in remission. Jane and Bruce bought a new motorhome and she went in for check-up before they left for canada and the Beast is back-like everywhere. All she is trying to do is buy some more time with Bruce-docs give her about a year-I love her so and it is just heartbreaking. She truly got SO many women sober, including me!!! I just hate this for her cause this woman grabs life by her hands and feet and she is all over it!! Barb, it will take time with Dave and so sorry-weaning off it difficult in many cases but he will get there-lots of prayers and I know how patient you are anyway!! Let it go and let God care for David. Alyson, your cat and the defleeing-OMG-how funny!! You know it has already read your mind and I can just picture the face!! The pix are gorgeous and we have black swans here but they are pets, not native! And yeah, as to my old fart lady body-I figure it is just packed with more angel meat to hug!! But would give anything to be a size 2 again before I croak! Hang in there Dragonfly-I have never beeen in worse shape-before cemo last year I was walking 5 miles on the beach-now i can barely get to the mailbox! Never been in worse physical shape! Love to all, SV
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I am still trying to find my way around the forums. I am 63 recently. Divorced after 37 years--my choice. Don't regret it. Three adult kids, one grandchild, and I was just feeling so good about myself and healthy too when the phone call came. This was not to be next chapter, but it is. I got a second opinion post lumpectomy and sn excision. I chose parts of both opinions. No further surgery beyond the sentinel node that was positive. But I decided to do the more aggressive chemo which might start next week. I live alone which I really like, but with chemo ahead, I am getting scared even though I do have a network of good women friends nearby.
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Welcome Joyce, good place to mark as a favorite right down there to the right of where you wrote your post. Makes us easier to find again.
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Welcome, joyce, sorry you have to be here because of the circumstances but at least you found us. I am glad you got a 2nd opinion and you feel comfortable with the decision you have made. Are your children near by and can lend a hand if need be? Please be sure to take people up on the offers they give you, like dishes, laundry, errands, cleaning or just sitting with you.
Do you know yet which chemo you'll be getting? If you have any questions be sure to ask, many of us have been down that road and we have a wealth of experience and information.
gentle hugs ~ suzie
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SV, I am the isolation queen here, not you! Those grow lights sound like a good idea. My understanding is as long as they shine on the side of your eye you don't need to look right into them. I used a smaller version to try to set my sleep cycle.
I hope you feel better really soon. Can you shoot through your windows for interesting effect? At my first house I didnt have a kitchen window and a photo of something, anything interesting out through a window would have been nice.
Hugs GInger
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Joyce, welcome to the POD!! We are a gang that hangs thru thick and thin with the glue that holds us together being lots of humor when appropriate and hugs, love and understanding when needed. I hope you find a home here on this thread cause it is the best!! We also have a FB page - OBX group - named after our first reunion here on the Outer Banks where I live. The page will really let you in on the 'gang.' Lots of love here!! Barb, how is David doing today or is it too early?? I woke at an ungodly hour this AM-just not sleeping-so i am having a really good cup of coffee right now!! If Mitch is in today, I will get the matte I need to finish pix presents!! Very hard on island time right now, as when things get slow, stores close and the phone is the only way to get someone into their shop to get ya what ya need!! And Ginger, I am resorting to all kinds of whacky photo shots-like seashells on snow-good grief I cannot believe those words are in the same sentence here on the OBX-so this AM i ordered PPV 'paranormal II' even though I did not get 'paranormal I." Good God i am bored!!! and awake at 4 in the morning!! XXOO, SV0
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Good Morning Ladies, I am not up to commenting on all the posts, but want to say Welcome to whomever is new . Barb, I am saying my prayers for your brother....those ventilators are horrible, know this lst hand from when my mother was on one.....unless they dope you to the max, it is just instinctive to want to pull the tube out....hope they are able to get him off it today and know this must be hard on you. SV, I really think you should take the advice on the sun light lamp . Yesterday the sun was out here and it's amazing what a difference it makes. We went from 5o to the 40's yesterday so it feels like we are having a heatwave. Seashells on the snow....I kinda like that...it has a catchy sound. I am having yet another fondue party tonight....have to have several parties to get all my friends included. I do have two fondue pots, but it works best with no more than 8 since the idea is for the fondue pot to be in the middle of the table. One of my friends, the one I am going to the dental meeting in Chicago with in two weeks. can't come because she has this lung infection which is very resistant to antibiotics so today they are putting in a pic line so she can give herself IV antibiotics....she has microbacteria avium and now pseudomonium....and they don't know how she ended up with either of them. I know it sounds nuts to go to Chicago in Feb, but that is always when this meeting is and it's a good one....hopefully I am going to be able to meet some women from the board when I am there, but that is still up in the air. Connie, I was reading your post about your mother....wow, she sounds like my friend Kathy's mom.....she is so mean. She is now in assisted living and hates it....she has uncontrollable diarrhea. is not stable on her feet and just could not live on her own....Kathy is in a small condo here and currently her out of work daughter is living with her, along with two dogs, and Kathy's brother and wife work so they were not able to take on the care of the mother....and boy does she ever resent this and is constantly saying how so and so lives with her daughter, so and so has children who care for her and it's not as if this woman is nice enough that they would even want her living with them. She will say things like Well, it's about time you came to see me, instead of Gee, I am glad to see you. And she is constantly making up things just to get attention. Kathy is going to visit her this weekend (she's in our hometown) and is not looking forward to it. Her mother will have a list of things for her to do and when they are done, she will find some fault with whatever was done for her. She is just downright hateful. She doesn't show this side in front of others of course. I am just so fortunate to have a father who likes to look at the bright side of things. Alyson, I want to come to New Zeland....your pics are always so lovely as are your Lisa. AmyJo....hope they get your rads started so that you can be done with all this crap.
I once again had the burning eyes and elevated temp two days after treatment so do not think it is the Xgeva since I only got Gemzar this time....it was not as bad but I did get the aches and fever. No big deal since it only lasts for about 24 hrs and I catch up on sleep and reading....Was not scheduled to work anyway since I had to take the appt time the PT had available and it was right in midmorning.
My camera is still MIA.....I get addicted to things so easily and really miss taking my food photos and posting them. I may just have to go buy another one since it is not very nice of me to take pics of Tim passed out in the basement for my calendar project with his camera! 3jays got me started....am so happy you have no new BC issues showing up, but think it is a crock the way you had to wait so long to find that out.
Hope you all have a lovely day, even if I failed to mention your name. We need to start working on trip plans....Fall works best for ChrissyB. Must go grate cheese now. Later, Marybe
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Suz, thanks for the Dave wishes. Connie, so sorry to hear your mother is a beaaatch. You are doing the right thing. It's kinda like me and my brother. I am doing the right thing but most of the time I want to KILL him. In fact, if he wasn't in ICU right now, I might just put him in there myself. He mooches off my mother (lives with her, no car, does computer repairs for cash..very little$$). Then mom always needs extra so guess who comes up with the$?
I have another brother who is 55 but he is schizophrenic so no help.
Welcome Joyce. You can do it! And we are here to help! One day at a time.
Off to see him at 10.
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Yay Barb! Just caught up on FB and read that your brother had a good day today........That is so good news! Each day is an up day from here on in! The thing that bothers me now is the fact that you are running yourself ragged........that's a no no! You take care now!
To all the newbies....Hi and welcome.....this really is a great place with a whole lot of friends you never knew you had! Visit often as there is always someone hanging around that you can talk to.
SV, we gotta connect when you can't sleep! With the time difference, I'm nearly always here or near by so just either PM me or send up a flare on this thread. I'll make sure I check in often so I'll see you!
Marybe, thanks for taking note of when it would suit me best for the get together but please don't allow that to hold back someone else from coming. The reason I said fall is that I don't do heat or even really warm very well, I function much better when the weather is cool.
To all, have a great Sunday and I'll catch you during the week.
Love n hugs. Chrissy
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For all my non-FB sistas: Dave update - took mom over to see him. As she has COPD, this involves getting her out of the car and onto a bench, parking the car, getting a wheelchair and her into it then on to the ICU. The nurse brought him up from the sedation so he would know we were there. Then the respiratory therapist came and adjusted the ventilator so he was breathing on his own. He did this the whole time we were there (maybe an hour) and we encouraged him. He grabbed our hands and squeezed. I checked with the nurse before she went off at 7 and he got really tired so they had to put him back on it maybe 40% to help him. It is a process getting off them. After we left, I took mom grocery shopping. Same deal: drop off, park, get motorized cart then shop. Then carry groceries into her house. So instead of going to see DH's band last night, I crashed.
Well, it is cold in FL. Went down to 39 last night. High today is maybe 69. DH's band plays from 2-7:30 outside by the beach. I usually go around 4 and stay until the end but today, I am going early and leaving around 5:30 so I can make dinner. Brrrr. It was gorgeous until last Wed.
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Welcome to everyone that is new.....we'll all help the best we can...BarbaraA- that is fantastic about your brother and wonderful he has you...same as your Mom, it would just be too much on her own. That is what you get for being responsible and all growed up the right way...you get to do for those that do not...not really fair but that is just reality. You are a special person who provides strength to many, including us on here. Hope your Sunday is wonderful!
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