Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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That is like the story I told, SV....on the troll thread.....the guy who was having the problem was the one who was still "carrying" the mean old woman with him, NOT the one who physically picked her up, carried her and put her down. If you didn't read that, do so or I can relay it again. So stop carrying the load Lema Horne was referring to. As hard as it is to do, you just need to let it go and roll right off your back. You always have us so don't let a few others get to you. Not everyone can be expected to see eye to eye on things and if you feel someone is negative then the best thing to do is avoid them. If the medical team there has dismissed you, it's time for you to make that trip to Duke. Look ahead, not back.
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SV, I read and re-read your post and I have tears rolling down my face. You are such a beautiful person, your soul glows and I see it's light. The person you are is reflected in your words, your photographs and your strength. I am proud and honoured to call you 'Friend'. You inspire me!
Chrissy
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wow! its' taken me over an hour to catch up, if i miss sum of you..sorry.. lets see, first, missed the oscars tonite. celebrating with DH and then a big fite when we got home. ill take the blame for that.. just hurting, and cranky, i guess.. MANDY..sorry for your flu. hope you'll be on the mend soon..ISABELLA, I LUV you, girl.. you take a lickin and keep on tickin! Im so glad your shopping trip went well. i know how you enjoy gettin out there!im lost tho: did the ortho say new hip, or knee, and whats when the back?? sorry for the ewe; nature has a way of sorting itself out w/out telling us what went wrong.. its' always sad, tho. Im afraid im like your girl, sometimes, in that. seems so unfair..hope your GS is doing well, and can still help you out. do you have a date for surgery? i laffed myself silly with the laundry and your DD story. really, get yourself a nurse...GIGER: do get it cked out, the whooping cough.. we've had an epidemic here in so. fla. ok for the toddlers, deadly for infants, andf its THE ADULTS that are the carriers!! i went and got cked, ans made my dil andd son get cked. my GS old enough has a reoccuring bad cough, and i was worried about Fin, whos 1. they say shes almost old enuff not to catch it. we all cked out ok,anyways. Fish's dr. has him on new meds. lots of ear infects. too. he'll be cked for allergies soon, no doubt...ISABELLA (again) i can't believe your life, its' like a fairytale to me, (one with LOTS of hard work) but i would love to be lambing and calving with you!! my exs' family were into breeding horses, and helped many night in helping with new borns. Raised Dobies for awhike, too. i miss the life; but, i don't think i could physically do it anymore. thank you BEAST!! please, get your GS to help. its' too much for you with your hip and back!!
SV, i know you mean well, and i agree that this thread rocks, but PLEASE!!!! LET IT GO!!!!!
we need to focus on ourselves, and not what one small, unthinking group of women think.. thats' all it is opiniions!! we know where they (opinions) come from, and they usually stink!!! cut it out, or we're gonna change your name to your new choice!! ya know i love ya gal, and i know you're hurt.. some of the things theyv'e said could be about me, and my "unusual" side effects.. but don't help them dig your own grave, girl....
Marybe; i luv the pics you PPF!!glad you had a great visit. call me 2morow if ya can, so i can hear all about it!
Welcome to Island Girl.. just hang around, and become part of the gang.. there's plenty of roomfor everybody! night... 3jaysmom
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Sorry, I haven't read any of the posts yet, I just joined this community about 5 minutes ago. So may I join your discussion, please?
I am 61, I was diagnosed with BC mid January and have had a lumpectomy - I now face hormone therapy and radiation very soon. I didn't have any menopause symptoms and bragged about it
so I expect I will get my "come-uppance" now.
and yes, it seems like it is mostly younger ladies on the forums and also the two who seem to be sharing my journey with me in the waiting rooms and surgery are under 50.0 -
welcome HKCRAZEE.. of course, you're automatically in, once you post here!! no dues, no fees, just a horrible price to pay for entering!! we're the glaad to meet you, so sorry you haver to be here crowd!
Having the BEAST is the admittance price. this thread, in particular, is one where support and encouragement is freely given., and i welcome you as the ambassador that sleeps little! heeeheee 3jaysmom
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Hi HKCrazee and welcome!!! You are most welcome to join in here with us 'oldies'. We have a great deal of laughter, tears, fears, exchanges of information and a feeling of 'family' and I hope you are feeling comfortable with us pretty soon. What hormonal are you being prescribed? You may be lucky and have very few meno symptoms even with the hormonals as there a a lot of women who have a very good run with them so I hope you are one of them.
Love n hugs. Chrissyb
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How you doing 3jays?
Well girls, I went for my BS check up today and was told I need another full body bone scan so that's what's happening on Thursday and I can ring to get the results from him on Friday. At least I wont be waiting long....lol. Oh yeah, the gift that keeps on giving..........I must have a word to someone about giving the gift back.........I wonder, would that be looking a gift horse in the mouth?.....or would that just be wishfull thinking?...oh well.....never mind....one day at a time....yeah!!!!
Oh girls, the new avatar is me with my 10mth old niece who took her first steps to me on her daddy's birthday!! She sure known how to be a favourite!....lol
Be well all. Chrissy
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i posted a ling post earlier, and decided it was reactive: something i'm trying NOT to be, so forgive me if i miss alot of you...
Im amazed at you, Isabella. you get so much done in a day. please, do feel more free to just roll over, thats WHY you got more help. Im afraid i run a little like your new helper, when it comes to finding dead animals. i do know, however, that nature has a way of knowing when somethings' just not right. sorry about your ewe and its lambs, tho. please, get help for lambing and calving. just for this year, with your back, and now hip! have you gotten a date for surgery yet? i laughed when i read about the laundry and your DD!! also, get a nurse. thats' one less thing you'll have to worry about. i wouldn't trust DD to get it all right!!
its' amazing how far you've come , since your big D!! the new room sounds divine!!
SV i love ya, Gal, i know you're as passionate about our pod, as i am. I also am one they medically don't know what to do with!!!
we just need to keep watching each others' backs, and loving and encouraging each other. its' a scarey time, when "they've done all they can do " then, you know its' up to a higher Power. then you begin to fear everything as a reoccurence. its' just then, that you gotta FOLLOW UP on things, and get em cked out.. HINT HINT.. love ya gal. please, take it easy, and quit fashing the neighbors!!!
Marybe, call me when you can. i wanna hear all about ya trip. great pics! MANDY, im sorry your'e still down with the flu..GINGER.. we've had a bad epedemic of whooping cough here this yr. we all got cked out cause fins GD only 1. we're all alright, but GS has reoccurring bronchitis. it'll be allergy testing, soon. probably ear tubes this summer. the way he's going..
well, i missed the oscars re reading that "other " thread.. so, you'll have to catch me up with who won what... night all my beloved friends... 3jays
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chrissy, was just gonna e mail ya!! the new avatar is wonderful! i love the way you look so happy!!and i think, younger, too...anyways, why the bone scan?? some problems i don't know about?
im doing good, just touchy touchy lately, and not in a good way.. but, this too, shall pass, eh? 3jays
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3jays, the last scan I had four months ago showed a very small spot on the tenth rib and I've been having some soreness in that are for the last couple of months so the doc just wants to rule out progression and if he can't do that, just be aware that it is there. He said if it is progression, the treatment will stay the same as I've only been on the Femara for 4months so he wants to keep me on it for a while longer. Nothing major so keep your shirt on girl, you know I'll tell you what's going on. Luv ya. Chrissy
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Chrissy, i knew if i went to another thread, you'd be back lol... and for your information, they took ALL the tissue when they did the BMX.. so the scars are like big furrows.. there's NO WAY id be taking this shirt off, anywhere, girlfriend...please... email me and let me know when you here the news, kay? ya know i loves ya...3jays
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Thank you for your welcome ladies!
I believe adversity brings out the best in people, so its not all bad!I'm not sure what I will be prescribed - I go on Wednesday to find out.
Fortunately I am very low grade.
Good luck to you all
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Mine too 3jays, not a pretty sight. Will keep you informed....yes ma'am! ASIC (as soon as I can). Chrissy
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Keep on coming back Crazee and let us know.
I don't know if you have read the thead regarding posting numbers? As a newbie, you can only post 5 times in a 24hr period until you reach about 50 but you can PM anyone you choose as often as you like so you can stay in touch with someone here. To PM (private message), just click on the person's name above their avatar and a page will open and at the top right hand side of that page you will see 'send this member a private message' just click on this and follow the promps.
xo Chrissy
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SV and All, I don't post too much but am always lurking. I hope to always be a soft place for any of you wonderful ladies to fall. I have so much love and admiration for all of you that I can't even put it into words. XOXOXOXOXO, Darla
PS That also includes any new ladies.
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Good Grief, i took time out to edit a very long post and the thread is full-now i have to copy more to keep up!! PLZ take time to look above at what I have written. I am so sorry it ended up in the middle of the page-we are really fast writers!! WELCOME CRAZEE AND DARLA stop lurking and join IN!!!! We need ya gal! And Chrissy, I love the new Pix of you-you are gorgeous!! And who is the cutie pie with you?? lordy, i feel like i have to rewrite my 'thesis' to get it at the end of the thread to be read!! I am so freaking insecure!!!! I awoke in the middle of the night with this rolling in my head and had to make a few changes to what i had written earlier and low and behold-me thinking the whole whorld is still asleep and my post would stand alone-WRONG!!!! Big Smooshy HUGS!! SV
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The cutie pie and I thank you SV.....lol She is my 10mth old niece who decided to take her first steps to me on her daddy's birthday last Sunday. She is such a treasure and her and her big sis Isabella are the icing on the cake of my life and I thank my baby brother for his gift.
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{{SV}} I read your long post and am sending hugs andd friendship to you!
3jays - I have been in that dark, reactive place. I too, try NOT to go there. so more gentle {{{HUGS}}} are coming your way.
Chrissy, love the new avatar. She is so adorable!
Isabella, I am so glad you got some outside help! This will help so much what with your hip hurting as it does. Please take pix of your new room and post! Love to see it!
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SV - I don't post a lot because I don't feel like repeating what so many others say, usually so much better than I can. I have spent over an hour rereading your posts from last night and contemplating my own past experiences with poor souls like those who have been causing and pain trouble here for you and who have made trouble and pain in every large group I have ever been associated with.
The first time I remember I was 12 and it was at our church. The clique consisted of a number of older women and the preacher. My mother and father were among their primary targets. One Sunday the entire sermon consisted of a rant against Mom and Dad, How they were devils condemned to eternal hellfire because Dad smoked and Mom, a woman, dared to question his opinion of which Sunday School materials to order. That afternoon Dad found me hidden away crying because I knew my parents were not devils. I've never forgotten what he told me that day and it has been my guide all my life. One of the most important truths was that only one person in the world has any right to judge me and that only that person's opinion makes any difference. And that is me. If I know I am good person, try to never do anything I am ashamed of, love my fellow beings, try to help them and do no harm I cannot be truly hurt by anything they may say. Yes, I've had to learn to control how I respond, I've been hurt, I've suffered minor setbacks but I have come through life relatively unscathed. Even today I'm dealing with a few of these people at our Senior Center, but I know this too shall pass.
The most effective thing you can do is ignore those who would hurt you. Initially they may increase their attacks but soon the "mean people" as my friend calls them, will go looking for a more vulnerable target.
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AWWWW Chabba, you made me cry! I SO wish I had the gift that so many of you have-that is not to take things so personally and to be wounded so deeply by people who truly don't even matter to me. I mean really, it is when i feel my name is dragged in the mud i get my dander up and I am like a friggin' freight train. There is a great book (which I have not bought) called "Tongue Fu". I need to read it. I read MB posts in other places and I marvel that she can step into anything and say the right thing. I just go into everything controversial ready for a fistfight to defend the people and the things I love. And that includes fighting people that don't even matter to me. How incredibly stupid is that!! It is more like fighting for ideals-that is where I get stuck and not sure why. Even at 22 years sober I so much trouble with the third step and letting go and letting God. I have so much to learn from all of you!! XXOO, SV
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SV - Like the other regulars on this thread, I do care about you and the others sisters I've met here. It is just hard for me to say so, so I try to show it instead.
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Chrissy, love the new pic with your neice, she is beautiful and aren't they FUN?
SV, I've read all the crap and know that the mods wrote the same message in here that they did in there, which mentioned your name specifically. They should NOT have done that, the only place you made the HooHaw public was in this thread and the others had no idea who you are or what was going on, except a few. IT WAS WRONG. As soon as I saw it I gasped, thinking OMG she did NOT???? but she did and I am sooo sorry. I also know that this is our thread and that we have successfully ridded ourselves of the mean girls by calling them out and telling them to leave us alone. They may read but they don't write anymore. ... NOW - YOU are a strong and talented individual who has had some serious pot holes in your lifes journey, but no matter what goes on elsewhere, in here; you are safe, sheltered and cared about very much. VERY MUCH. Please reset the appt at Duke... It's DUKE, they fix everything. Set it for when you believe Angus will be much improved and plan to take the dogs to someone you trust to care for them. Also, since the treatments have tried to take you out, please consider the BMX. It's the surest way to rid your body of this CA and ease your mind. No, it won't be easy. What is? No, it won't be pretty either, but you will survive a whole lot longer. Ask Dave to take the dogs, or have him find a trustworthy person to keep them so you are confident they are safe and sound. Then, lets just do it and get it over with. I do not say this lightly. I have hated the fact that they cut my breast for almost 4 years and know how hard it must be to lose them completely, but I would rather lose the girls than lose my life. The other thing is the infections and complications you have had to face and deal with.. Duke will look at the WHOLE YOU. Not just one boby part and you WILL come away with a better prognosis. Those of us that know and love you don't want to lose you. to hell with anyone who thinks differently. Just do what is needed so you can keep on making us awe at your work and laugh at your humor. This has been going on entirely too long and it's taking you down. You are NOT a downer. Trust me. I know downers and I wouldn't keep coming here to read every single post if it brought me down. There will always be bullys and bitches, but we will diligently keep them outta here to protect the ones we love. Just the Pod moms we are. We truly want the best for each other, and especially you, my special friend. So, like the others said, Isabella said it best, it's time to focus on you. I know the mean business hurt. But you are not well and it caused hurt to be exaggerated. They aren't worth one grain of sand. And you must not let yourself get dragged into their webs.. they are sticky. icky. poo. lets all wash our collective hands and flush those buggers down the drain. For SV, for now and forever. I'll go dig up the POD creed so the new ladies will know what we are talking about. And so you will feel protected and loved and appreciated. Promise to call Duke and reschedule, even if it's for July.
Connie
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PODS DEFINED.....
POD-means like a POD of whales-forever joined thru generations, time, eternity and great wisdom, shaped by the same fierce forces, streamlined by the eons, speaking the same language, working for the same purpose, stronger than the all of the oceans, birthing, maternal, teaching one another the songs of the seas, protecting, playing, eternal in celebrating each other and living in perfect concert for the life, death, and pure joy of the POD. ...SV wrote this.
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Connie, GREAT post. I second your urging SV to go to Duke, forthwith!! And I am also glad the mean girls chose to leave (although they post on other threads how they were 'forced out because they gave good advice but the poor, pitiful people here wanted to remain mired in their misery.) GAAACCKKK Gag me!
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SV I also read your post. I am happy for you that you see the depth of the steps. I see them as something to revisit in all of their new incarnations in my life.
I have some idea of Love being a color, in my mind anyway. It is the color Mary Cassatt used on the cheeks of the woman in "Sisters". It is a transparent scarlett, as in an Arizona Sunset. It is the warmest, softest, all enveloping color. It is also the warm blue in that same sunset. It is a pure blue, no grey, no green but somehow warm. I see your interpretation of the colors of love in your photos SV.
Welcome to CKRAZEE we are a good place to be on this message board. Keep us up to date as you take this walk with us, we are good traveling companions.
Anabella and Marybe I too have had the no opening envelopes syndrome. It was really serious at the time because my husband was traveling M-F for a year. I was really fortunate that most everything was on autopay. It is often one of the symptoms of depression. I just wish I could get done with it. I hate depression and how much it has robbed me of. I remember waking up enthusiastic about the day, happy to pop in and out of the shower, eat some breakfast and b e off for the day at whatever I was doing at the time. Most people find me cheerful and I can't seem to find that me for myself any longer. I pray that as I get done with Rads this month that I get away from depression.
I don't think I fear death, I do believe that Jesus Christ came to save us from our sin. I do believe I am forgiven and knowing I am in that state I think going on to whatever there is, feels fine to me. I want more time and more life, definitely. I want to be a good influence on my family and build good memories for them. Depression is like living on the edge of a giant black hole, never knowing just how far down the hole you will fall in any particular period of time or how long you will stay there. I want the depression to be gone, for it to stop interfering with me living my life. I want the veil lifted and to rejoin life again. I just don't know how to do it.
Thanks for being here everyone. SV you lifted me back to awareness today. Thank you
Ginger
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SV: just checking in to say go to Duke! It is a great medical center. Hugs!
As for trolls---just ignore them. Early on I had a problem with a troll on another thred. My solution was to stop posting on that thred---after all the others there wanted her; I did not.
For the newbies: this is the most all inclusive loving thread around. We are all different, have had different treatments and views. But in the end, we all support eachother. You may ask any question that you want and one of us will try to answer.
My flu looms on so today I am going to the doctor. It is over a week. I am feeling a little better but not really and hoping she has some quick fix cure for flu.
To those I have not mentioned---it is my flu brain. But you are in my heart.
((((((hugs)))))))))
Mandy
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SV please call Duke and get a new appointment. Please.
Love Ginger
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HKCrazee, Welcome! Sorry you had to join this group because of BC but it's all uphill from here. Many have been through everything you're going through and have great suggestions that you won't hear anywhere else!! To SV and all others who talked about the "group" spirit--wanted to tell you about a recent experience. My quilting group is made up of people of all religious and political persuasions, but we unite over quilting and have a great sisterhood. Recently a member's 18 yr. old dau. landed in intensive care on a vent with pneumonia. Everyone came together for support and prayer--we had Buddhists, Catholics, Hindus, all manner of protestant denominations, atheists, liberals, conservatives and really odd people (me!) all praying for Maggie (the girl). She did survive and is now home recovering. The trick was to focus on our similarities and not our differences. I feel that's what happens here and it's very healing--especially when I want to whine. Sometimes we need to whine more than we need advice.
SV, I like what you said about "putting a face on cancer." Boy did I do that to my PS--it was easy as he sort of lends himself to that by being such a blank canvas! Also about the 3rd step--if anyone ever figures out how to do that one let me know. I can't let go of anything, let alone let God!! I've finally decided that my HP is a white llasa apso (Ozzy). Thank goodness he can't talk, though! When I was diagnosed I was in a state of maddness. Anger is too tame a word; I didn't cry, I just rattled every cage I saw. Fortunately there were kitties in them instead of lions. Who made me the maddest? The receptionists. For some reason those young things with red nails made me want to go werewolf!! I'm supposed to be moving on from cancer--yeah right. Now my hip is hurting and I'm sure it's a recurrence. Moving on my tush. With that I'm going to move on and get dressed and wear a lot of fleece today. Cancer and cuddly fleece, they sort of go together!! Dragon
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Hi Ladies.........Finally I'm where I think I belong. Other threads are excellent, this is more my age group...............although I might be insulting you women.......I am 75, and was just diagnosed with IDC.........all pathology is not back, so I can't share more then that. Just this morning I scheduled a lumpectomy for March 14th, or if possible March 9th.........my head is swimming.....I am scared out of my wits, and just getting out of bed is an effort. This is the first thing I think of in the morning......and the last thing at night........Some of the things I have heard from others has blown my mind.....My husband died of Pancratic Cancer at 57 years old, and that was 19 years ago.....I have 6 wonderful children, 18 grandchildren, and could become a great-grandmother to twin babies in the same hospital I could be having the surgery. They are due anyday............As far as comments........here goes........well be glad it isn't Pancreatic cancer........at least its not stomach cancer (a close person (son-in-law's mother just died from that...........you got the "good cancer"..........if I had to pick a cancer, yours is the one I'd pick.......HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO, what the hell are you people thinking..............then I just quietly smiled, until the other day I went after a few of them like a "mad dog".........Don't dare tell me how lucky I am to have cancer............Well anyway we all deal with idiots in our lives, and I have met a few............They say the tumor is high grade 1 to a low grade 2.. The onc/rad referred to it as the "garden variety type" cancer. I said "ok do I pick which flower I get to be". When asked what would she doe if it was her....she without hesitation said "lumpectomy with rads". My first thought when I got this diagnosis was "get rid of it", "take it off" Then after reading some of the after effects of a mastectomy "good and bad", I thought hmmmmm, maybe that is not the way to go............so as you can see I am completely confused especially not knowing more then the "possible size" of which there is no guarantee until they get in there, no complete pathology back yet................however they did say "chances are no chemo, it would probably be a pill". I hate this, I want this to go away. All of a sudden my other ailments (that come with age) seem like a walk in the park....................Even the mild heart attack I had in 2007. I remember saying when they told me I was having a heart attack (after driving myself to the hospital at 3am in the morning, thinking it was anxiety), well at least its not cancer.................Guess I shouldn't have spoken so soon....................So here I am ladies probably on the right thread with my still much younger then me friends............glad I found you all. Maybe through this thread I will find people in my situation as opposed to the younger crowd (God help them). Ciao
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wow!CAN i even catch up! this is what happens, up at night, when i get up, you guys have been posting great guns.. ive got a lot to say, but first..
THANK you, Connie, for the quote from SV. i wrote it down, and promptly lost it last time lol...
I wrote SV a long post last night, basically telling her to get her arse to Duke!! ok, we all agree.. now LISTEN will ya?CHABBA well said, my dear. when you DO post, i always get so much from what you say.. im so gonna read that book "tongue Fu" i need to learn to curb my tongue.. thank God theres' a delete button here. i don't think i wanted to keep what i said in reaction last night, so deleted it all.!!
Barbara A: Gag me..with a spoon!!!
to make things easier to read on the long posts, can you ladies do some indentations for me, to seperate thoughts? im having a hard time reading them when there all there in one lump.. is it just me? thanks. 3jays
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