Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Take a blanket, pillow or beach towel you can roll up to protect the port area from your seat belt in the car.
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What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.
Richard Bach0 -
Nancy....what great advice -- something I would never have thought about. mommarch -- this is the beauty of numbers....there is always a number of people whose path has just the right parallels to yours and can come up with sound advice.
Pretty here today and cool. Thought about taking my coffee on the deck but then would have had to wait to talk to all of you....so here I am.
I hope you all have a great day and accomplish all you want to your hearts content. I'll be checking in later. Until then,
Healing hugs, Jackie
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Had breakfast and lunch on the deck which always makes me a happy camper. Other than the large screen room on front of our house the other major draw was that my kitchen door opens directly onto the deck. So easy to have meals out there.....though when we get into the really hot weeks we need to stay inside. Living in the woods means there is always enough shade....but you must still put up with heat and humidity. Sometimes we make it into Aug. I don't think it will happen this yr. but we will see.
Hope you all had a fantastic day.
Hugs, Jackie
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No we do not have any relatives in Odessa, TX We will be staying at The Hope House, which is home built just for people who have to travel along way for cancer treatment. It is a beautiful and very peaceful. It is free of charge, and If they are full they put you up in a hotel. It is a blessing
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"Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight."
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mommarch.....what a great thing to have....this Hope House. The minute I read your description I had a total scenario going of someone who had to make a long journey all the time.......so did something about it to help others. I am pretty much a firm believer in helping when you can to make things better in some way......I know people probably get tired of hearing me say it but all the wonderful words in the world seem to have four letters.....kind, care, help, love, give, and all these things always return to you.
Thinking of you and all the ladies here.
Hugs, Jackie
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No Jackie! I never get tired of what you have to say....It's just something to live by, always. It just all makes sense! Some might get tired of affirmations & poems, but for what we have all been through, we can learn a lot from you, & what you have to say.
It's not only dealing with Breast Cancer, it's dealing with our lives....And maybe something you say, can help us figure out how to get beyond what we are feeling, about why we are hurting, and just give us hope. So thanks!
Mommarch, how long will you be staying at The Hope House? Make something "fun" about your stay, find something to make it easier for you..... I wish I could help you more, but just know we are all thinking about you....
Sometimes little "magical' things happen to us.... Like when we are looking for something, & can never find it, then suddenly weeks later, there it is! Or stopping for a Starbucks, & notice smack dab in front of you is an eye-glass place.... (My Grandson had stepped on his glasses, & we were trying to figure out where to take them, before he went back to Orlando)....And THERE it was! And there was "no charge"!!!! But my Daughter gave her a big tip anyway....
He can barely see without his contacts, but his glasses are for nights, & mornings...So he needed them! So be ready for little "presents" you might find every day.... Just make the best of what-ever smacks you in the face..... We can always have hope.....
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A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package:'This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package.'He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box.'She got this the first time we went to New York , 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on , was saving it for a special occasion.Well, I guess this is it..He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothing he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died.He turned to me and said:'Never save something for a special occasion.Every day in your life is a special occasion'.I still think those words changed my life.Now I read more and clean less.I sit on the porch without worrying about anything.I spend more time with my family, and less at work..I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through.I no longer keep anything.I use crystal glasses every day...I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if I feel like it.I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to.The words 'Someday.....' and ' One Day...' are fading away from my dictionary.;If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now....I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell.I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends.She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels.I'd like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favorite food.It's these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come..Each day, each hour, each minute, is special.Live for today, for tomorrow is promised to no-one.. 0 -
Oh Darn! I tried to paste & post something nice, but it came out with all the little funny letters & it wasn't worth it! Oh well!...... 0
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Thanks for the tip Grame, I used it today and it did help. When I had my biopsy and lumpectomy a month later I did not wear my seat belt until it felt ok, I figured I would just show the officer when they pulled me over and then he would arrest me for indecent exposure.
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First Chemo so far has gone well. They started the fusion about 10:30 AM and I was done by 12:30 PM, they even served us lunch in our chairs in the fusion room, caregivers also. We are at the HOPE house now, coffee sounded good, so I made myself a cup, may have a cookie too. I took Emend for nausea this morning before chemo and will take one pill Sat. & Sun. They sent me home with some other nausea med just in case I need it Monday or later. We will go home in the morning, and stay here again in July. Will spend the night before in July so we don't have to get up at dark thirty to get here by 9:15 AM, then probably will stay the night of to, it just makes it easier on both me and my hubby. He is 73 and I am 62. Illinois where do you live? My husband lived part of his life around Streator . We were both born in Iowa. I lived on a farm all my childhood in Lorimor, Iowa. Just wondering
Will let you all know how I am doing in a day or so.
Marcha
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Thanks Chevy.....you and all the ladies here are great friends and I am fortunate to have you all.
mommarch....glad you did well with your chemo. They probably mentioned or some of the materials you read did.....that you have a bit of a lull after the chemo. If you have side effects they may come starting the third or fourth day after.....but they may be next to nothing when they do.....so not to worry much. They did provide you with some extra meds....so you will be ready.
I'm with you....I would not like to start out in the dark anywhere. In fact, till I've a couple of cups of coffee under my belt, I don't want to do much of anything at all.
Streator I think is up around Elgin, Joliet and Chicago. Dh and I live in almost the middle of the state.....about 3 hours south of all the above. We are in a small town -- about 14,000 people. I was born here but grew up about 3 miles from here in a little town of 200 people called Glenridge. Sort of rustic when I was a kid growing up. I migrated to California for 25 yrs. and came home for good 14 yrs. ago. Dh turned 71 in May and I will be 65 in September. Iowa is great farm country. When I was getting cookbooks off the Internet.....I always looked for ones from Iowa. They always had wonderful recipes in them.
Do let us know how it goes. See you....I'm all in for today.
Hugs, Jackie
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"Everything in life is connected somehow. You may have to dig deep to find it but its there. Everything is the same even though its different. Somehow everything connects back with your life. The faces in certain places may be different, but the situation is the same. Irony is a hidden factor that creeps around us in life, letting its presence felt only after it has left. Picture back to a year ago and the situation you were in. Look at how things are different yet somehow everything it still in someway cognate. Everything connects together to form the balance of life, to maintain structure. Change is and always will be inevitable, but everything is relative, and all the moments and times in your life will come back around again, you just might find yourself on the other side of the coin. Things are always changing, as fast as everything stays the same."
Donald Miller Quotes0 -
Good morning everyone. Gorgeous here today though we could get a rain squall. I won't mind I guess. I'd rather have sun.....but we have had a dose of early heat this yr. -- a/c does not have to be on at present and in fact, has been back off for a few days, so I'll plod along and be happy if it keeps us cool.
I'm making progress here as all my recent tests came back just fine. I will also be given ( soon ) an appt. with a Podiatrist and will get some much needed foot fixins' so I can start walking again. It is one of my all time favorite exercises and have not been able to do it. Have to save my feet for getting me around through the day to do my work etc. So, I am looking so forward to getting back in shape and starting on walking my second million miles.
Hope you are all going to have a great Saturday. I'll be checking in later. See you all then.
Hugs, Jackie
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I am 71. It must be very different for the younger women who are juggling children, career and cancer. I still have a career, husband, grandchildren that I tend and volunteer work. I have had the 11mm lump removed and that really was a 'walk in the park". I am still waiting for DX and have not yet chosen my team. I am a painter and a teacher of painting and teach jr.hi. s.s. I have not cancelled anything. I hope and pray that I can continue to do all. How about you all? Anyone in their 60/70s?
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Morning gals! Hi NAD! So you are the new gal here! I'm almost 74....next month, but still feel like I must surely be in my 50's...Ha! I know how you feel....We've "been there" and "done that!"
Make sure you like your team....whoever they are! And take lots of notes and ask them all the questions you have written down. I know....I thought my lumpectomy was also easy, considering how I've read where a lot of the women have a lot more involvement. I had radiation right after surgery with the MammoSite Device, and luckily didn't have to have chemo, because the Oncotype test showed I could skip that....... Ask for copies of any tests they do, and also your path report.
How wonderful that you are a painter AND a teacher! Man, I can't draw a face on a paper bag. BUT I do crafts really well.....
I always admired anyone who could "draw" !!!! It has to be a talent, I mean a gift, you receive when you are born! Just like some musicians. Yes, just go on with your life....if things get rough, just remember they usually get better..... I also couldn't believe I would EVER have breast cancer....I thought I was too old for even a Mammogram. My heart goes out for all the younger women, especially with children, who are fighting this.....
Just let us know what is going on, Okay?
Marcha! How are you? How are you feeling kiddo? Just thinking about you!
Hugs & xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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Welcome Nad
I am 64, soon to be 65. I think we have all been in the same place. Busy living our lives and feeling all was just fine....maybe even falling into place rather nicely and then out of the blue....a big surprise.....a cancer diagnosis. It sort of knocks the wind out of you -- no one can plan for such a thing.
I hope you will find a good medical/oncology team you can work with and do write down all your questions. There is life ( what is called a new normal ) waiting after you get through everything. It is no fun to be bald or have chemo though there are people who barely even notice that they are doing it. Radiation ( rads ) for many women is more boring than anything. We can do this......and go on to pick up many of the pieces. We will be here to help you, cheer you, listen to your rants, help you find information and just send healing hugs and prayers for your well being and comfort. This is sometimes not an easy journey and we don't want anyone to be alone. Do come and share and someone will always be here for you. That is the biggest way we have to pay things forward.
Healing hugs,
Jackie
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Darling Jackie, Chevyboy and Jo-5, I feel hugged from afar. Thank you, thank you. I do vacillate between terrifying thoughts of lymphedema and confidence that my scrappy scandinavian ancestry will overcome this insult to my body. I don't like it that I have a positive node that remains after the lumpectomy. The DX that is returned on the 29 won't tell me about nodes, will it?
I will absolutely report what the dr. says on the 29. I have so many questions and I want to get started on whatever treatment we/I choose.
Thank you for the hand holding.
My name is Nancy
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First day after all has went pretty well, made the 172 mile trip back from Odessa, Tx even stoped at a wal mart to pick up a few things. Took a nap and had a small portion of meat loaf, mashed potatoes, brown gravy, peas and gingerale for dinner. My daughter cooked. I am tired, but that is about it so far. Will see what tomorrow brings. Woke up around 3:00 this morning and could not go back to sleep so got up and got on the computer and found an insomniac page on this board and stayed on until 4:30 and then went back to bed and slept until 6:30, then time to get ready for the trip home.
Have good evening, will check in tomorrow.
Hugs
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I was just DX at 62, have had my first chemo, after I saw my oncotype score of 37 decided it was necessary. If you do have to have chemo have the port put in. It makes life alot easier. I hopefully will be able to work while going through chemo. Dr. does not see why I can not, and I need to for my insurance. I work Part time at a state university, my hours can be flexible. Let me know if I can give you any information.
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mommarch....glad to hear you have the first chemo session tucked safely under your belt. Always good to get that first one.....it is pretty much the un-known that tends to perk up the nerves and cause all the what if's to start floating by on us.....and then we can't turn it off. Hope you continue to do well but there are lots of "drugs" to help now that we did not have before, and you will have that to fall back on if need be. Also, we have places like BCO where we can talk to others about how things are going and get help from the actual people who have been on the same path. It makes a difference. Many Dr's and nurses are wonderful and having their expertise is invaluable most of the time......but if they have not personally had cancer too....there is only so much empathy they will have.
Here's hoping things continue to light and easy to handle.
Robinsegg -- hope you are doing well. You are as well in our thoughts.
I shall be back tomorrow hoping to see you all and say good morning. Hope you all have a peaceful, restful night.
Healing hugs, Jackie
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when you all say 0/23 nodes or 0/3 or 0/16 nodes, what does that mean???
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Nancy.....I copied this from elsewhere because I thought it said it clearer than I would:
When lymph nodes are free, or clear, of cancer, the test results are negative. If lymph nodes have some cancer cells in them, they are called positive. Your pathology report will tell you how many lymph nodes were removed, and of those, how many tested positive for the presence of cancer cells. For example, 0/3 means 3 nodes were removed and 0 were positive, while 2/5 means 5 were removed and 2 were positive.
I knew mine were 0 of 3......as I had the Sentinel Biopsy at the time of my lumpetomy and only 3 nodes showed. The sentinel nodes are the very first ones that actually drain from the breasts and so....if they take the first ones and they are "clean" they have no reason to take anymore. The less nodes that need to be taken the better because the more that have to come out the bigger the risk of lymphedema.
Hope this helps.
Hugs, Jackie
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Morning you guys! It's so beautiful out, just before day-break, & I'm watering the lawn, ha! Well I mean, I've got the sprinkler set...just have to run out & move it ....
When I had my Lumpectomy, my BS said she would take out the Sentinel node, and maybe 2 more, (which she did) and they test them right then, then if she gets the call that they are clear, she doesn't remove anymore. Mine were 0.3....I didn't know that anytime you have any kind of node involvement, you maybe are at a risk for Lymphedema...... And that some women have trouble with it & some like me never get it.....yet.
But then I read that even over the years, it can develop.... So that's why you don't have blood drawn from THAT side, or blood pressure taken, & wear garden gloves, & just protect that hand and arm.
Mommarch! How proud of you we are! You make it sound like you are doing well, & I'm so glad! You are well on your way to finishing up your journey through this! Might take a little while, but you can do it! Your path report should tell you everything about your surgery.....just ask for a copy of it, AFTER you see it and they explain it to you. Some of it, as with all reports & tests are a little hard to figure out, so that's why you ask your BS, "Okay, what does THIS mean", as you point to your yellow high-lighted sentence that looks like it's written in Greek!
I know some women don't keep anything, nothing to remind them, but I did, because I just like things straightened out in my mind......
So yes Nancy! Your Path report will tell you how many nodes were removed, & how they tested, also your margins....So don't worry! Besides we'll be here to try & help you understand what those Docs pile on you....And always ask them "Why?"......You can drive them nuts, if you try hard enough, ha!
Okay gals....gotta run change the water! Talk to you later! xoxoxoxoxoxo
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It would seem then that because no sentinel bio. was done at the time of the lumpectomy and node was left, they will shrink them with chemo and then......how do they know how many and if they're gone? I wish I had been given more time to think and discuss with the dr. He told me it was pos. just before going into surgery. My appt. is Wed and maybe all will become clear. It is so all consuming. I am even dreaming about this. We are away this weekend with 4 close friends and I will return to Atlanta and Monday begin a new portrait commission and Tuesday will have our 4 yr old grandson. That should occupy my whirling thoughts until the appointment....thank God. And thank you Jackie. Where do you live?.....hot there?
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Hi Nad! I can understand your confusion, about him saying your node was "positive"..... Did they inject you with that nuclear dye into your nipple before surgery? That goes up to your lymph nodes, and that's how they find them. But I didn't think they could tell what they were, until they were removed, & biopsied. Maybe they can....so make sure you ask. Maybe your Doc has x-ray vision, Ha! I dreamed about all that also....but I don't anymore.
Okay, I just found a web-site that talked about not taking any nodes during surgery. Because they figure if there WAS a problem, that radiation and or chemo would take care of that.....Just like you said. And with the blood tests taken, or "tumor markers" they can tell with that count also. Just ask if you need the Oncotype test....this tells if you will need chemo.
How fun you get to have your Grandson! We just had ours also, only they are 23 & 25....but always remember how much fun we had watching them grow up!
A new portrait commission? That's wonderful! Can you post any painting you have finished? And do you just do portraits or scenery? That's another world to me.....!!!
Just let us know after Wednesday.....
xoxoxoxo
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Here are some things to ponder:
Wherever a man turns he can find someone who needs him. -Albert Schweitzer
The difference between a helping hand and an outstretched palm is a twist of the wrist. -Laurence Leamer
In about the same degree as you are helpful, you will be happy. -Karl Reiland
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Good morning everyone. Just to let you know....I changed my avatar this morning. I think Nancy and Jeannette were up before me this morning.
Nancy....I'm not sure how your Dr. knew about your node and it would be right up there probably as my first question. Saying that.....I know the waiting and wondering is probably the hardest part once you are diagnosed. I think I wanted my Dr. ( a female who taught medicine and law at Southern Illinois University ) Ryan to whisk me into the operating room right then and there. I was horrified that I was walking around with cancer -- this ugly thing ticking away inside of me. She was very calm and serene ( and I have to say my husband and I both felt she had a healer's aura ) and told me that most people have had their cancers for several years before they are discovered so that I could take my time deciding what I wished to do.......and then let her know.
I still had a little of the spoiled child feeling wishing it could be gone 'poof' but of course, I had to live in real time and try my best to feel comfortable.....all the while the bomb was inside. I had my lumpectomy about a month later.
You do feel at odds, sometimes feeling confused, sometimes angry,sometimes wondering what you did......you do think why me, but at the same time....why not. Why do any of us get anything.
I hope you are able to relax and have a good time with your friends and all the activities you will invest some time towards before your appt. I too wished I had more time when I went through my "experience" -- felt ill prepared, and finally just gave it all to God and my Dr'.s. In truth.....I think I was in a zombie sort of state about it......and in some strange sort of denial - non-acceptance for about the first three months. I had everything done by the V.A. but I don't think I really totally made it real for myself until I started chemo. Couldn't not deny anything then......had to show up and do it.
We all go through tons of emotions and reactions.....feel funny about telling people which was a hard part for me, and some people become hard to talk too.....I found out who my real friends were ( the majority are on these boards ) though I do have a couple right here that walked with me through everything. There is a lot of information on the boards here.....I like the sections where they teach you how to read your path report etc. Still, it is a good thing to remember that lots of people ( including myself ) say a lot from their own perspective ( what happened to them mentally, emotionally, and physically ) and no two people are alike and our reactions will all be a little different. Sometimes you can go into a little bit of overload with too much information or (tmi) and get a bit overwhelmed.
Just take slow deep breaths ( in through the nose, out through the lips ) and write all your questions down for your medical/oncology team. We will help you with it all and do our best to steady you on the path. I don't think there is a right way or wrong way or as they say hindsight is 20-20.
I am in a little southern Illinois town. I am just barely in far enough in for it to be termed southern. My part of Illinois is known as Little Egypt --- for the weather I think which was and often is more moderate ( still not always so great to me ) than that around us. Our local newspaper has printed on the front and has almost had it, I think from its inception.....Egypt's greatest little daily....or something to that effect. If you look on a map......we are due east of St. Louis, Missouri....not quite in the middle of the state.
Just know Nancy, mom, and Robin......that you have your personal cheering section here and we are here and will stay here and help you through. Life will be back, unjumbled and less cluttered than it is right now, different, but ok. I sincerely hope, like me, that you end up proud and statisfied that you got through it all and though it is early at this point, you may even want to join hands and help the next person up the ladder. I leave you with this.
WE ALL CARE WITH YOU AND FOR YOU. We will be right here, always.
Healing hugs, Jackie
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Thanks Jackie & Chevy-boy. The Dr. knows one node is malignant because they biopsied that one node. But they did not remove it. I am annoyed that my surgeon scheduled surgery one week after diagnosis and before he knew the results of the node biopsy. I did not know then that I could take a month to decide on a plan.
I am grateful for all of you because I can call out a question at an odd time and someone reaches back soon. I'm sure I'll meet other women, in the flesh, during treatments but probably would not interrupt them at home with questions or looking for comfort. I also think with you I will be able to make myself vulnerable and vent in a way that Mother said was not polite. You all are just great and what I need.
Chevy-boy, grandchildren 24 & 25. We must all be late bloomers!
The DX comes back Wednesday so I only have 2 days to wait. I began painting at 50 and it has become as necessary as breathing. I'd be happy to give you my website. Is that appropriate here? I am keeping this quiet from the art community (except for artist friends) because I do not want to be discounted by gallery and commission opportunities. I want to weather on through teaching the classes and workshops I've committed to lead. I do landscapes but mostly the figure. The pix on my website is 5 years old. I have more wrinkles now and a disappointing neck.
I have been so self-focused that I have not inquired any more about the current status of you two.
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