Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Marcha....it is good to hear from you. Sounds like the Taxol is weekly or every other week. But then, if so I would surmise that it is being given in a smaller dose over a longer period. Not sure I have this right. I had Taxotere which I think shares some similarities wtih Taxol. I do hope they continue to go down easy for you. Feeling up to work just amazes me, but I have heard on other parts of the blog that many people are able to do it.
Jeannette, wow !!!! You ought to hear what it sounds like when the raccoons fight.....they hiss and growl and sorta screech at each other. I'm not sure they actually hurt each other much, but they sure make the noise. Also, if they really want to "get" some food away from another one.....they will back up to the one guarding the food. I guess you can't do too much damage to the back-side area. I watched this one day and when the one going for the food got tired of being forced to back off.....he just turned around and backed himself into where the food was and then got his or her "share".
I think lots of people feel animals belong outside and that's that. I don't know why they bother to get a pet and then have no more relationship with it than a bird or squirrel or something out in the yard. My pets are going to bond with me, and I with them or why bother. They are part of my family and I don't make my husband "live" outside. Oh well, I guess at least the cat isn't on the street with no where to go, but it still would be nice for kitty to be a REAL part of the family.
Also, if I'd have read this earlier I think I'd have been over to have some ham and beans with you. Perfect weather for it. Rained here, slowly a big portion of the day.
I'll be checking in here in the morning. See you all then.
Hugs, Jackie
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Hi everyone, well lets all go dancing. I love it too, sometimes when I am housecleaning, the radio goes up to the oldies station and I do some dancing moves in all that cleaning. lol Also two step around my kitchen. When I had my husband we use to slow dance in the kitchen. awww those memories. Jackie, I am turning into a cat lady too, I now have about 10 wild cats living on my 9 acres and one house cat. I feed them everyday but they still won't let me get close to them. Hope your doing good. Are you on facebook? love and hugs sherry
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Hi Sherry.....good for you. Being a cat lady. Hopefully though, the ones around you will not increase too much. That is always a problem. If you type in cat population extrapolation from two, you will be amazed.
I can relate to the kitchen dancing.....music tends to wake you up and make your body want to get into the rhythm....does me anyway. So, I think I am going to make it a part of my exercise....hey you know, look what it did for Chubby Checker. He did the twist so much he wasn't very chubby later.
As to the wildcats you feed.....if you really want to you will eventually get closer to them. It takes a lot of time. Some of the ones I feed do actually let me touch them after several years....but I can feel the tenseness in them. Most will stick around while I'm feeding but do not allow touching......but sticking around is the first manor hurdle.
For further questions....look for a pm from me. So glad to see you here. You are often in my thoughts.
Hugs, Jackie
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"Stop thinking in terms of limitations and start thinking in terms of possibilities"
Terry Josephson0 -
Morning gals....My Daughter found 2 little kittens, & was only able to catch one....But this little "wild-cat" is now just a little softie that loves to be cuddled & talked to! So he has joined the other 3....or maybe it's 4 by now....
She can't stand to see anything hurt or homeless...She even rescued a goose once, that got hit by a car! Took him to a vet, where he spent the night, getting his injured wing tended to, & she took him back to the park the next day...... And she "grew" a butterfly! She found this coccoon....very large, attached to a stick, & watched it turn into a beautifly! She watched it slowly unfold her wings, & wave them back & forth....And fly off into her garden. I forget the names of those huge black & colored butterfly's that really damage the Florida citrus trees..... But THAT one found a friend....!Okay...gotta kick-start this day....talk to you later! xoxoxo
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I think the black ones are Swallowtail butterflies. I don't think I ever had that sort of patience but found a lot of cocoons when I was a kid. Don't see that many now. Maybe there were more then.
I hope the little Kittie does fine. Too bad the other one got away. They must have been really scared. I'm a bit of a push-over for animals, but have had to stop "taking" them in. There are just way too many here and with good food and living their life indoors they will all have a much longer life span. I'll be really old and still have some of these....so just don't dare "find" more to keep.
That is special though that your daughter does this, Jeannette. She has a loving heart that is for sure.
Hope you all had a good day. Fortunately and for once...I'm home early.
Hugs Jackie
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Yes Jackie, you are right! It was an Orange Dog caterpillar, & it turned into the Swallowtail Butterfly! She sent me the little pupa, that it came out of, attached to a little piece of her lime tree. And then there are all the little Anole lizards running around...Even on her wall in the bedroom! Ha! I yelled for her to come get this "thing"... And she said, "Oh it's just a little Gecko...she won't hurt you!"
When they first moved to Orlando she told me "It's like living in a Petrie dish out here!!!" But she loves it. On one of our trips, they took us to Singer Island, & a HUGE lizard went running across our path..... And I yelled "Oh my God!" And our youngest Grand-son said, "Now Grams'....that's just a good example of a good lizard gone bad!" Ha, ha! I was getting USED to the little tiny ones, but THIS guy was a dinosaur compared to them!
Okay....hope all you gals are doing alright..... Take good care!
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Comedy keeps the heart sweet.
- Mark Twain0 -
Another day to enjoy. Hope it is a good one for everybody. I will try to stay out of mischief as best I can.
I'm thinking I would have trouble living in Florida. I'm not much for strange bugs or big creatures with a lack of proper manners towards people. I lived in southern California for 25 yrs. and there were actually very few bugs there, but a couple of them were awful --- like the Jerusalem beetle, otherwise known as potato bug. Sure not anything like the potato bugs we have here which are small and un-exciting.
Saying hi to everyone. How are things with you, Nancy? See you all later.
Hugs, Jackie
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Popping in for smiles, hugs, and blessings for everyone. Not a lot going on in my life, which can be good... Finger and thumb are healing nicely with new skin still a bit sensitive to the touch. This makes holding a pen/pencil hard for very long, so writing is very limited, not that I could write very well or for very long before. Typing is fine.
I am not much of a cat person due to allergies, but admire those who adopt and care for abandoned animals. My DH has been gone more than 8 years and I was his caregiver during his lung cancer. I am alone and do not have to explain or expect anyone to help. If I had not sold the house and moved to an apartment before BC, there could have been a lot of issues to work out. Not having yard work or house maintenance is good for me.
Hugs, Nancy
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i'm so happy i've found this thread. i'll be 66 in december so this is definitely a good place for me.
i've read through several pages and i hope it's ok to post here because i'm having a really, really hard time with my adult children and i wonder if any of you have had the same problem. i have a son and daughter who live here and basically, i feel that they don't really care about me having breast cancer. i've been doing chemo since july and today my daughter told me that she's tired of hearing about the cancer. she has a new baby and a 6-year-old who i adore and we have been very close, but lately, and maybe it's because she has a new baby, it's been all about her and she doesn't really want to talk to me about anything else. my son and his wife have done nothing for me ... they have three children and maybe i'm expecting too much. i know they're busy, but a card? a phone call to see how i'm doing? anything? my son has showed up at chemo twice, but other than that, i don't hear from them. my dil asked me what she can do a few months ago and i told her that i would love some muffins. nothing.
ok ... am i having a pity party? am i expecting too much? my sister tells me that i shouldn't expect anything from my children because they're busy. i always thought family was there for family, but maybe i'm wrong. does anyone have any thoughts on what i might be doing wrong?
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Hi YaYa......Glad you found us and this is a good place. Hmm, several things here. First, having cancer is one of the most difficult maladies to have because it is pretty consuming. There are so many different tests and treatments that it tends to fill up your calendar. Also, some of our family members, including kids, aunts, husbands etc.....really don't quite get it. I'm not sure there is a great answer as to why either.
This usually hits you out of the blue and you start out with the wind knocked out of you....and this is not like anything else. I also think they too are scared -- maybe they have never been this close to anyone who has had/been treated/lived through cancer. If you have always been the strong one -- they may not know how to react to the vulnerable you.
I don't think you are expecting too much at all. It's great if anyone can stay strong and totally in charge while undergoing treatments etc. but I've not known many who did that. Most everyone I talked to had melt-downs at some time.
Yes, people are busy -- but people have always been busy. It is probably a little harder to have a new baby and a first grader, but maybe your daughter was just a little extra-overwhelmed about something. I hope that was just a poor choice of statements for that reason.
One of the biggest reasons why we use these forums and talk to others is that so many other people, though they may not mean to, seem to fail us at this time in our life. They simply don't understand where we are....the ups, downs, fears, upsets, emotional roller coasters -- and they tend to be as hurtful as they may be helpful.
By the way....I just turned 65 this month. But back to you......I'm not sure your doing anything wrong....You are still in the early stages, trying to adjust to a pretty difficult situation. My children don't live here with me, but stayed in California. I was fortunate to have some really supportive friends and a hubby though ssshhhh.....he didn't always get it either, but he did try.
By the way....I fully support pity party and even all out melt-downs when necessary. I hope you will come back often. We are here because we get it.
Hugs, Jackie
P. S. I'm sending you a little something to tide you over till you get your sea legs back again.
Someone else will come along tonight or tomorrow with lots more wisdom than I possess.
Jackie
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Nancy.....so good to hear that you are well on the mend. I have sure been thinking a lot about you. I hope you get full use of your hand ( finger and thumb ) back soon. I so dislike anything that slows me down but sometimes it is necessary.
I think you are lucky to have an apt. and miss so much of the work you would normally have with a different situation. Some older friends of mine moved into an apt. just a few months ago and are so happy about it. Betty even has all her payments for things taken directly out of her banking acct. so she does not really have to worry even about missing pymts. No yard work, no pymts. to make. There is a lot to be said for that. So really...hats off to you. You knew in advance to make it easy on yourself.
Hugs, Jackie
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Morning Ya Ya! I think we are all in the same "Sister-hood"...Ha!
Sorry about your kids.... You know, there is just no excuse.... Our 2 Daughters are not like that.... But you can't do anything about "family" and the way they think.... It has to hurt so deeply, to think that ignoring you will make it all go away... Maybe they care, and maybe they don't know how to yet.
I don't know what gets into these people that act this way, but we can't make them care. And the more you say, will just "bring it on".... They are very childish, and self-centered..... I don't think they are so much in denial..... they just sound like they don't want to get involved.
But because of the Grand-children, and your love for them, you almost have to just ignore their ignorance and hold onto those little ones. Sometimes I don't always like what goes on at my oldest Daughters' house, but I know if I say anything, it will all come down on me. Where the little ones are concerned, we have to just not "make waves".......
Keep your Husband and your friends close.... maybe your kids will come around, & maybe they won't. It's all about you now. If we could just smack them up-side the head & make them realize how much they are hurting YOU at this time, we could all make it better for you!
So Ya, always think of this.... "God, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Power to change the things I can..... and the Courage to know the difference."
You/we, are fighting tough battles, so just think of yourself right now....and remember we'll always be here for you. ((((hugs))))
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And by the way....YOU aren't doing anything wrong....they are.... Just don't tell them that...
This IS all about you now...please don't let worrying about what you can't change, hurt you! Maybe someday........
We can forget all the rest, except the way they make us feel....
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Every day is a new beginning. Treat it that way. Stay away from what might have been, and look at what can be. ~ Marsha Petrie Sue
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Patience! That's me!
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Hi All,
Welcome YaYa. Glad you found us. I have been the ROCK in our family for 42 years and now the rock is chipping and they do not know how to handle it. My daughter and her daughter live with us, My daughter has Borderline personality disorder and it is hard. She means well but often times what is on her brain is on her tounge and out of her mouth with no thinking involved. Her daughter is 13 and a gem, always has been, don't know what I would do without her. She is loving and helpful. She is home schooled so maybe that helps also, she does not have to put up with all the peer presure. I find if they can get out of the house and leave me alone for several hours it helps.
Got through my first Taxol pretty well. Developed hives on Sunday, Nurse said take Benedryl and use cortisone cream, they are much better today. Had my weekly blood drawn at our local hospital this morning, will call Cancer clinic this afternoon to be sure it was OK and make sure we need to go the 324 mile round trip for chemo tomorrow. Am fatigued, rest as much as I can and don't do anything I do not want to.
We actually had some nice showers last evening here in West Texas, so badly needed. May have some more for the next couple of days.
Ya Ya we lived in OKC back in the 70's. I can not believe how much it has changed everytime we go thru there to Iowa to visit family. What part of the city do you live in. I worked for 2 differenct insurance companies while we were there.
Everyone take care, will post after next chemo. Hugs
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mommarch, thank you for your response. it means a lot to me. i live on the NW side of oklahoma city .... 63rd and western. what insurance companies did you work for, if you don't mind me asking?
illinoislady and chevyboy, thank you also for your insights. all of your comments helped me so much. i haven't been able to sleep because of these issues, but last night i realized that it's true that i have been the rock and care-taker and yes-sayer forever with my family. it's going to stop. it's time for me to take care of myself and reduce the stress. i know this stress is of my own making and it certainly isn't helping.
thank you to all of you for being so kind.
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Chevy....I love that picture.
Marcha, glad to hear you did ok with the Taxol other than the allergic reaction. Hope you can get #2 on time. I am glad to hear you are doing what you have to --- if there ever was a time for us to slow down, relax, and just concentrate of doing a lot more resting and a lot less worrying and fretting....it's now with a capital N. Time for all those things when we are finding our way back to normal after the txs are done.
YaYa.....good for you to. It is so true.....we spoil our families until it becomes our biggest role and function in life ---now it is you who needs the understanding and spoiling. You will have to come first period.
Many women get scripts for something to help them sleep --- a good nights sleep is so beneficial so if you feel you may need that ask your Oncologist. It isn't for forever -- just till you are over the hump.
Hope you all have a grand day tomorrow. I'm bushed and heading for my recliner.
Hugs, Jackie
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Two of my friends are here to help you start your day. I hope it's a good one. We had a few sprinkles but I don't think much will happen. Going to be on the cooler side though. Oh my, the yard work is going to have to begin. On the bright side is all the calories I will burn doing it. I'll have to KEEP remembering as I drag my feet that I'll be thinner when its all over.
Hugs, Jackie
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Ya Ya.................I am 76.............have 6 children........no husband, he died at 57 from Pancreatic cancer.....................
:Out of the 6 children I would say 2 were there for me everyday.........my son and daughter took turns taking me to Rads, and waiting for me...............(I was capable of driving myself), but they would not hear of it...........................another daughter stayed overnight with me, took off of work to spend days with me, and cleaned my entire house when she could...............both of these daughters have full time jobs, and families..............My son told his boss about my cancer, and his boss said "take whatever time you need"............another son was always there when he could be..........and if not he called constantly..............................the other 2 where kind of distant..............did more for their own lives then trying to stay connected to me..........they both have their own problems, so I just accepted it. marriage, and unemployment things.
However they all went to my Dr. visits, and were there the day of surgery............so there is someting to be said for that.............
You are not expecting too much..............I am surprised at the lack of consideration for you, althogh they possibly think "she has my father"..................still no excuse.................I always say, how can 1 mother take care of so many children, and all those children can't take care of 1 mother.....................
Or they can't face the diagnosis of cancer.................a lousy excuse, but many on here will tell you that, that is the case...............I'm not buying it.....................tragedy should bring a family closer, not drive them apart.....................
I have 18 grandchildren, and 2 twin great-grandchildren...........life would be empty without them, so I can understand where your coming from missing them.
Maybe you should try having a long talk with your daughter, and son............................even an invite to dinner,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,but keep in mind, you have us, and we are good listeners, many of us with the same problems.....................come back often................we will join you in your pity party..................but not for too long, now..........we need you to be happy.................have a great day, and hugs to you
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Ducky....that was good! And so true! There IS no excuse for putting up a wall with our Parents. Especially when we really do need them....It IS very inconsiderate.....
I love that...about how one Mom can take care of so many children, and all of them can't take care of one Mom.... It's like when they grow up, some must think they have their own lives now, & don't need to stay connected to their growing up life! I mean what does it TAKE for them to realize how much we love them, and NEED them? We can never ask for help....I think they are oblivious to their Mom's or Dad's needs, or wants....
Jackie...I love the kittens! And Marcha....My Daughter is fighting hives as well! Is taking an anti-biotic and it's a little better....I didn't know Taxol would cause that too! Her Doc thinks is is a Staph infection from her Rotator Cuff surgery....
Guess I'll get busy....xoxoxoxoxo
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Chevy, you are so right too..................just because they have families of their own, does not mean they stray away from the people who got them to where they are today...............its not like we didn't have something to do with who they became, but you will never convince most of that..................thank God my children all compliment me on how they were raised, and how in their younger days we had very little..........my son said something to me one time that impressed me so much and brought tears to my eyes (this is the son who was by my side constantly through this)...................he said .................."Mom we never knew we had so little, because regardless of what the occassion, you worked so hard to make it look like we had a lot"........."I'm who I am today, because of you and Daddy".............................when I got BC, and he insisted on going with me to everything, I said "Vince, I can do this"..........he said to me..............Mom, I will be with you every step of the way, its my turn to pay you back"..........................Without my family I would have never got through this...............when the time came for them to step up to the plate..................they hit it out of the park.................I will be every grateful.
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Ya Ya: I wanted to share what my sister told me about a month ago. Our dear mother had breast cancer when she was about 70. She passed when she was 84 of other causes. Anyway, my sister told me she was glad I didn't talk about my cancer much because when mother had her cancer she talked about it all the time. Can you imagin??? Anyway, I did some soul searching after I read your post and I think I've become one of those people (other than to my sister). I find myself bringing it up to total strangers. It's on my mind all the time so I guess I have to let it out. I'm going to make an effort to keep it to myself if I can. We can vent to each other on this site since we all are in this boat. Nobody knows how we feel until they go through this. You will get through this. You and I are about the same age and we have a lot of living to do. Make sure you are around positive people. One of my friends pumped me up by saying "Life is for living". Hugs to all.
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Yes Beetlebum....! I guess we all handle it in a different way...but maybe your Mom, was just so troubled with it, that it kind of drove her nuts.... My Mom didn't hardly even talk about it....And I, being in a different State, didn't know how to bring it up, except always ask her how she was doing. She showed me her mastectomy scar one time, and inside I just cringed, but I told her "It really looks good, Mom!" She was so ashamed of it...This was when they used to cut them from stem to stern, almost, and take all the nodes..and it really dis-figured them....but she showed me, with tears in HER eyes.....I just wanted to hold her & rock her till she felt better!
We DO have each other here...I don't even bring mine up to my Daughters....nor my Husband...If I get it again, I'll deal with it then.... I just feel like that part is over, (almost 2 years now) and I don't have anything to keep it on my mind. And yes, "Life IS for the Living!"
I was out pulling up my tomato plants today....cleaning my yard....guess I don't have time to think about what happened. And I'm not going through any treatment, so it's sort of easy to just "let it go"......
Ducky....no matter how we try and excuse our kids actions, it is just their problem....not ours. You and I are so lucky we have them "close" in our hearts.... Your Son is a jewel....you know that? A lot of times when they get older, they just lose contact with their Mom's. My friends Daughter's make it a point to hardly ever see, or call her. She has to call them, when she wants to talk. They are just "estranged" sort of.....
And her Brother, has lost contact with BOTH his grown Daughters! He not only gave up his wife to divorce, he also gave up his little girls. I don't blame THEM one bit for not having anything to do with him.... Isn't it so sad? I mean to think of the little girls that lost their Dad? I would like to ....oh never mind...It isn't fit to print.
Thanks my friends, for always being here....xoxoxoxoox
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Bettlebum/Ducky,Chevy -- you all really have it going on today. It does help to be around positive people for sure. So many valid ideas to ponder. A couple of things just jump out at me....that is, that most very close family you would normally think would jump at the chance to go into the role of care-giver, helper, cheerleader, for their moms or sisters etc. Also, that perhaps they sense their own venerability to debilitating, possibly life taking diseases and don't react like expected or hoped because their fear is actually greater than your need.
I also think that for all the advances we have made as far as treating cancer and even eliminating it, many of us still tremble silently in deep fear that we may NOT be one of the really good statistics. If I recall ( and I'm not real sure ) I was not thinking that way when I found out what my biopsies proved. I was thinking more of coming to an end rather than going NED and making a new beginning. It is hard to be diagnosed with cancer at any age and see it as a possible new beginning. I believe I was so upset and out of it for the first three or four months that I actually thought very little. Thank goodness I did have the good sense to get on the BCO.Org site and eventually realized that all the people I conversed with here meant to live and live well......no matter whether they were NED or not. No matter what period.
This is a time to live well, pamper ourselves if no one else will and be a winner.....even if you have to mainly do it alone where family is concerned. It would be special if they would choose to be a big part of your wellness, while you are not so well, but in the end the important thing is that you make it through......so do what you have to, and try and relax in the meantime. Perhaps, if you take care of you.......and let them take care of themselves for a bit they may understand that everybody needs somebody sometime. --- Life really is for the living. Well said everyone.
Hugs, Jackie
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I am very fortunate that all my children live within 5 to 10 minutes of my house............and 1 is within 20 minutes..............I have 2 grandsons in Chicago, and I miss them so much...........we were very close. They both got excellent offers when they got out of college, so they moved away...........they live together, and own their own Condo............they keep asking me to visit, but I won't fly.
I am a very lucky mother, and grandmother......I know that, and never forget it............there is nothing like "family"......................and my BCO.org family too.
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Just checking in late today. Had a rather long ( started at 7:30 a.m. this morning ) but satisfying day. Hope you all had a good day. I will be hopefully back in the morning to find a nice quote or uplifting poem or just something nice to share. Sweet dreams all.
Hugs, Jackie
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In listening and getting to know the true us, our soul, we become empowered and limitless. ~ Jenny Mannion
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