Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
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Hey spar....What a neat grandson you have! It sounds like your family has stepped up to the plate and are helping you get through this frustrating time. How I understand the oily hair issue! I wash mine everyday, too and can't imagine going for very long without washing it. Let them pamper you until you're back to 100%! And most of all, be thankful that they are there to help and that they WANT to help.
Jackie, so glad that you shared the quote on this thread, too. It's such a good one that it should be passed around!
To those of you who are going to be traveling this week.........travel safely!
Rita
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Hi Spar -- years ago when my father was sidelined with a broken hip, I gave him a pencil and some paper and asked him to write his life story. I typed it up on the Commodore 64 (that many years ago). Since then, it has been retyped in newer format so he can edit it. Is that something you could do while you are sidelined? Many of the grandchildren have read what is called "Grampa's book" and have valued learning our family history including stories that he hadn't told before. Now his great grandson, my daughter's son, is almost ready to hear it! That was probably 25 years ago - he is 94 now and enjoys referring to his book from time to time. I have used the information in it to do some geneology online - and have had two new found batches of second cousins come to visit us in Canada from England as a result.
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I am going to youtube and listen to milton berle, love him
Yep, my family has really stepped up and helped. I kind of feel bad for Brock, his friends keep calling wanting him to do stuff or come over and he is telling them he is having to take care of his Nana. I told him he was born with a kind old soul. He has always been special and smart and kind.
That is a great idea of writing down the history with years and dates. My mom did something like that and I typed it up for her and it was very interesting.
My email is working now so I feel better that I am able to stay in touch easier.
Everyone have a great day.
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Lassie - that is a good idea - I am working on geneology too. Haven't found any long lost relatives yet. Unfortunately, when we get interested in family history, the older generation may be all gone and there is no one to ask.
JO - You poor thing - you have just had a heck of a time trying to get over that crud. Rest until Thursday so you can at least go out to eat.
Spar - Your grandson sounds awesome - you are so right - he was born with an old soul. I know children like that. My niece came for a week in the summer when I shattered my shoulder and she was my best caretaker too! She was 15 at the time. She just turned 16 - pretty as a picture, very involved in her church, wants to be a nurse - just a great all around kid.
RitaJean & Spar: While I was in rehab for my shoulder I talked a nurse's aid into washing my hair - I just couldn't stand it. I used those bath wipes they have to clean up every morning - I couldn't go into the shower. Soimetimes I took sponge baths in the bathroom sink. Someone could make a fortune setting up a beauty parlor in a hospital and/or nursing home.
Jackie - Don't want to forget you! I liked that little ditty too.
Everybody have a great day.
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Spar -- it sounds like you have a great family helping you, especially that grandson -- wow, I'm impressed!
For those of you who asked about the kittens names -- we are pretty sure they will be Tora (means tiger) and Taji (not sure what it means, but we like the way it sounds). They are really sweet, cute little guys!
The capsular contracture is something I've known about for a while now, and I'm still not sure when the surgery will be or if I will get another implant or go without. I had rads after exchange and that seems to produce more cases of CC. My implant side feels at least as bad if not worse than the TE, but I'm alive and healthy and not going to complain about this.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
Bonnie
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About washing one's hair in the hospital...
My husband has an older female cousin, VERY old south. Well she was diagnosed with a brain tumor and was admitted for surgery. The night before, an aide came to her room with a bottle of shampoo and said "Mrs Jones, you will need to shower and shampoo your hair with this product." His cousin said, "mah deah, Aih haven't shampooed my haaair in forty yeahs!" Created quite a stir as the aide thought her hair had not been washed in 40 years and what she meant was she had been going to the beauty parlor for 40 years.
She came through fine and still does not wash her own hair.
pam
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Well Bonnie you are right - we are alive and healthy and can;t complain- just think of the poor dear 3 y/o and get a broken heart. Life is not about boobs anyway- it is about LIFE! I am flat as a 12 y/o and have little bumps-look like I need a training
bra and I don't care the CA is GONE! I have had to line my camisoles with bridal satin to be comfortable , but after doing the first one, now I have a pattern so even that is just OK!
Spar my dear- my mothers 8 y/o grandson came after school daily and sat with her, probably "cooked" brought her things , made tea etc- what a love and he was PROUD to do it. Don't worry about him turning down his friends- it probably makes him feel very grown up. And children need to mature along the way or they run a muck! The recipe is soooooooooooooo easy!
Jackie that quote is too much! I love it as it makes one think and I wonder how long it took him to dream it up? Good contribution!
Jo I can't believe you still feel badly and wish we could help you beat that bug! Wonder what it really is virus wise??? Has Dr, cultured or swabbed you to see which virus it is?
Lassie O love the idea of the life story- My child hood would take forever and it might be cleansing- raise by tow crazy people and the police were just stupid, yet my mom some how was sain and wonderful when Joe was not around. Thank God.
Kathleen- why the heck would one obsesses about BC? I am amazed at the reactions of others- had a woman out of state call me "because you are a nurse? , 2 actually and wanted to know why I just didn't have lump & rads. After I answered in great detail they both responded " If it comes back I will do a mx then"- I am thinking , yeah what stage will the catch it, how about your nodes.....What can we say? And , Kathleen, about the signature line , I should add "NOT!" behind it- as Popeye would say "I am whose I am".
Carole living in the sandy old desert I would give the world to see the dark black soil of Illonis- wnjoy the sites, the barns, the fields- wishing you a good trip!
Well I had 3 days of joyful energy- then found myself sleeping in my car for 1.5 hours- oh well and and rested the nest day ........One Day at a time right?
Highest regards to you all, Love you, prayers for each and for the 3 y/o and family.
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I have just heard that a friend of mines 9 month old grandson was found dead in his crib this morning.. I just rang to ask her something and this hit me. WHAT do you say or do.
I have said I will go up to see her tomorrow, but don't want to, purely because I don't know what I can say or do that will help.
Apparently, her son and his partner, both only 20, went to get the baby up, and he was stone cold. They are a very big family, my friend has 13 children, all well looked after and very close, so I shall feel I am in the way, but feel I have to go...what a dilema. I'm dreading it.
Isabella.
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Hi , Just introducing my self for the first time. Breast cancer is not something I ever worried about. Cancer of any kind has not run in my family, either side. I just turned 65 and went in for my Welcome to medicare physical and got through every thing except mamogram. Had second mamo then ulta sound, then biopsy. I went in today for MRI and pre opt. Surgery is on the first. I have been reading the posts for the last two weeks trying to learn what lays ahead but I guess I was just putting off registering hoping this would just go away.
I am alone and also diabetic. What I am wondering after reading so many of the posts do I need help when I first come home? It seems that so many of you gals really had a hard time doing things because of the node removable.Right now I'm scheduled for right lumpectomy with sentinel node removable but they did the MRI because they think there might be something in the left breast,both arms involved, then what? I did go out and purchase a sports bra, I wish I had done it for the biopsy. I'm D cup and my tumor is on the bottom.6 Oclock and the weight made me very uncomfortable, under wire bra too. Thank you ladies for informing me about front closure bra I would't even had thought about it. Any way , here I am for the long run any tips or info will be appreciated. Right now i don't even know all the questions to ask. My son is in Virgina and I'm in Oregon, should I let him come home for a week to help me or do I even need it?
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Dear Grama5,
So sorry you are having to join us but glad you have found this friendly and supportive group of women. This resource is priceless for information gathering and invaluable for support.
Everyone is different and I don't know how diabetes might affect your recovery. My husband was with me at home after surgery and, although he DID nothing, I can't imagine being alone. For me, the emotional trauma has been much greater than the physical problems. My surgeon warned me that the SNB incision would be the most painful but for me that was not true. I was a little weak but really could do anything physical I needed to. But it is invaluable to have someone to talk to the doctor when you come out of surgery, to drive you to your first few follow up appts when pathology reports will be discussed, and to help you through the first few cloudy days post op.
I was able to cook, I could walk upstairs to bed, I could shower right away, pick up ordinary weight items, do laundry, etc. I needed emotional support more than physical help. Everyone has a different experience and it is hard to predict yours. Just know that you have found friends here who will give you moral support and a shoulder to cry on.
Best wishes,
pam
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Gram, I second all Pam has told you. I went into lumpectomy and 3 nodes removed around 12 noon.....and on the way home about 3:30, 75 miles away from the hospital. My husband had to go back to work the next day, but other than a little tiredness in general, I did not feel bad at all. Pam is right though....emotionally, I think it might be nice to have someone around you. I was glad when Dh got home that night from work. I also had no problem with the area where nodes were taken -- I in fact, had pain meds given to me that I ended up leaving in the bottle. What I felt just did not warrant the possibility of getting drowsy and dopey.
Hopefully others will chime in with more info for you. Glad you are here where everyone knows what you are and will be going through pretty much. Your in my thoughts and prayers.
Jackie
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Hi all
Have been away for a few days and I have still to read all the posts. Have just got back from taking my ginger cat to the vet - Gus is still there as he has an abcess on his jaw so it has to be drained etc, expensive cat but I wouldn't be without them, the other one is Barnabas who is part Russian Blue and very beautiful. He greeted me when I got back as much to say "well where is he?"
Gram do ask all the questions you think of because some-one here will be able to give advice and we are around just to be reassuring as well.
Isabella hope you managed to cope with visiting your friends what a sad thing to happen.
Must see how dinner is cooking.
Alyson
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Isabella- I have been in the Pediatric ER for 10+ years and have witnessed and attended many losses- there is little to do or say but I used to just put my arms around them and whisper in their ear that I was so very sorry for their loss and wait for them to stop hugging- I will never know if it helped the parent or grandparent but it helped me, and I think it was some comfort to know some one cared. We never know why little ones have to leave us. I am sorry for your loss too.
Gram Welcome to the club no one wants to join- but is over joyed to find. My surgery was so much larger than what you are looking at (I am not minimizing your surgery) that I think some of the others can better advise you on the physical aspect. I would have liked (looking back) to have cooked ahead- but then I was so distracted who thought of that? I had nodes on each side removed but do not have incisions up under my arms as my surgeon tunneled in- I was grateful. Also I wished my surgeon had measured my upper arms before surgery as I am having some slight fullness in the right and have no pre surgery measurement, Emotionally- for me the minute the surgery was scheduled I was so much better as I could not take the waiting and waiting. I have been emotionally fine as when I looked at my incision I saw cancer gone and not body parts gone. We are all different. did also have to learn to ask for help- not an easy thing for most independent woman.
Nighty night fair maidens, check in with you in the AM.
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More bad news, when Landen (the 3 year old) had the exploratory surgery they took biopsies of his liver, stomach and somewhere else (I forget) and found cancer in all of them. They are waiting for the pathology to come back and identify the cancer and, hopefully, the primary site. This child has been sick since birth and I pray he has the stamina to fight this.
Gram - I had a bilateralmastectomy with tissue expanders. Further, I had a "bleed" which necessitated a second surgery right after the first! I didn't even get out of the Recovery Room! A month later I had to have the tissue expanders removed because of infection. Having said all that, I was in pain for several days (I think due to opening my chest twice in the same day) and then I was okay - tired but fine. In fact, I took one pain pill the night I got home and didn't use them again. The surgery a month later to remove the tissue expanders was a breeze. No pain. The worse things for me was those darn drains - hated them, hated them, hated them. They did not stop me from going out - I just put on a big sweatshirt and away I went. I am also a diabetic - I think I healed just fine. Keep your blood sugars under tight control -you will do okay. Definitely have your son come home - you don't want to be alone. You will need help. Somewhere in these threads is an excellent lilst of what to do before the surgery so that you can cope after the surgery. Does anyone know where that list is?
Pam - great advice. I love the part about your DH doing nothing - but at least he was there for you and that definitely counts for something.
Isabella - just put your arms around them and whisper how sorry you are. There is not much else you can do or say. My heart goes out to those two young parents. It is so very sad.
Alyson - so sorry about Gus, the poor little guy. Believe me, I know about expensive cats - mine is 11 years old and after his last hospitalization I told him he would have to live another 10 years at least to justify the expense!
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Dear Gram5,
I'm sure (if you had to) that you could do everything you need to do for yourself. I made sure that I had button-down blouses to wear at first so I didn't have to tackle getting them over my head. That made things much easier. My son who was then in Minnesota (and I in Illinois) came for a few days and helped. It was good to have the company and he took care of the meals for a couple of days. Then I was able to proceed by myself. If you son is willing to come for a few days, grab the moment and welcome him with open arms.
Hugs to you, dear.
Rita
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shopping list is in "Surgery:before , during and after." thread, look under jump to forum. Great thought to check it out and have son come home too.
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Good morning everyone. A bit cloudy here and probably rain later. Kathleen....that is heart-breaking news. We get so emotional at times as it seems that many little ones don't live much and as in this case...spend most of their whole life ( not matter how long that is ) ill. The little ones haven't had enough life to have to deal ( their parents are doing it though ) with lots of options, and treatments so do not question so much the why me that we tend to feel for them. They often present a bravery we can't feel and an acceptance level that is often denied to us. All these children are in my heart and definitely in my prayers.
Alyson....hope Gus gets back to his usual self soon. I think for some of us our animals are like the men....hard to live with them at times....but not so great being without them either.
Hope you are all looking forward to a great Thanksgiving. I am just so thankful I am alive and able to share a special day that is set aside for giving thanks with others.
See you all later.
Jackie
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Could someone please tell me HOW to fill in the "Diagnosis" part of my profile? I just can't figure out how to do it...Also how to put in the little "quote" or saying after your comments...I enjoy all of your comments so much...and GRAMA, I sent you a personal message...at least I figured out how to do those! Thanks for any help, Jeannette0
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Hi Jeannettes9565,
I think this will do what you want: Go to "MY HOME" which is the screen that comes up when you log in. In the upper left corner click on "Edit My Profile." You can fill all of it in but it is the last line, "signature" where you enter what you want to appear at the bottom of your posts. If you want more detail in the diagnosis line you have to fill in all those details then the "diagnosis" part will fill in automatically for you. Let me know if that does not work for you.
pam
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Grama: You should be fine going home on your own for a lumpectomy and sentinal node biopsy. But if you have given the docs permission to do more surgery, you might want to see if a neighbor or someone can look in on you. I'd probably have a few days of groceries in the house. I had a lumpectomy with SNB. The surgery was not big deal...but I tend to bounce back from surgery quite well....I think I only took a total of one pain pill. But for me, the most difficult part was recuperating from the general anesthesia. I had a major reaction and was sleeping for two days with just brief periods of being awake. And while I managed on my own (hubby went to work as usual), I was glad to have a friend come by to look in on me.
This is a time of thanks and hope. And this thread has been a life line for me to others from all ove the world. You helped me find my spirit again and I am thankful to each and every one of you. Have a Thanksgiving of hope, peace and serenity.
Hugs
Mandy
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Hi Ladies;
For once in these last six weeks i received good news. I went in for MRI and pre surgery consult yesterday and heard from my surgeon today. My MRI was completly clean except for the tumor already found. She is the first doctor in all of this that was so prompt in telling me results, so far the waiting has been the worst of it.Even before I was given my diagnosis I alredy new just by the way the nurses were treating me. I've sure never been a "sweetie" or "honey" before now. Anyway one side seems better than two when it comes to doing for yourself. I have a daughter who lives up on MT Hood and I live in Portland. She will be there for my surgery and has offered for me to go home with her but I would rather be in my own home if I can.
My devoted companion is a 4 lb toy parti pomeranian. His name is Max and I rush home to him after work just like I always did with my children. this would be a lonley house without him. 2009 has been the worst year for me. Feb diagnosed diabetic, neuropthy, high BP and choles. May I lost my beloved cat of 11 years. (Badkat) My daughter bought Max for me. Then cancer in October and I'm one of those people that resents anything that slows me down ( don't like going to the doctor) Next year has got to be better!
Happy Thanksgiving to all
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grama5 I just wanted to say that I also was diagnosed at age 65 .What a surprise. I had a lumpectomy with axillary node dissection 4 weeks ago, (an enlarged lymph node was discovered on ultrasound and a FNB showed cancer, so that's why I had the nodes removed).
My husband went through major surgery just ahead of me so though I wasn't alone, we both were in a bit of a state for a week or so there. I thought we could manage alone but but after one day at home I ordered in Meals on Wheels and I highly recommend this if they are available in your area.
I too say let your son help if he is able to do this, you will need to have someone by in case of emergencies. One of my sons stayed one night to drive me to the hospital for the surgery and another stayed over the next night while I was in hospital so that my husband would not be left alone. Both sons really appreciated having the chance to help out. I also let neighbours know that we were recovering from surgery and not able to drive, and received offers of help if we needed any. We didn't, but it took away the worry.
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I had lump and SNB and my son drove me home. He left and I managed alone. Had plenty of food, soups and salad and sandwich fixings. One pain pill when I got home but none needed after that. A week later I went back to the doctor and drove myself.
BTW, by the way, you can talk with your doctor about "deep conscious sedation" versus general anesthesia. Mine was very open to it - much less recovery time and you can get out of there quicker and eat and drink almost immediately. I had the same for port installation and removal. IF I had needed the full axillary node removal, they would have put me under with a general, but I was lucky and didn't need it. I was home less than 4 hours after I got there.
My sister offered to fly in to help me, but I figured she would be more 'complications' than I was ready for. The recliner was the place I spent most of my time, in front of the TV. I was also told NOT to do any laundry for a week or lifting anything over 5 pounds.
If you are comfortable with your son being there and if he is truly helpful - let him come and have a nice visit and mom/son time. Hugs and Blessings and Happy Thanksgiving to all, Nancy
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Thank you PAM ! I think it worked...Now I just have to wait until after surgery to fill out the rest...
I go in this morning for another ultra-sound on my other breast! "Saw something different" after I had the MRI they say! It CAN'T be another Cancer, can it? The Mammogram didn't show anything... Hopefully it is just lymph nodes or something .... I don't know how much more worrying I can take! It's so hard WAITING!
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Grama - I have longstanding diabetes, hypertension, the whole enchilada and I did okay. Keep your blood sugars under control. The only thing I have had trouble healing is the diabetic ulcer on the bottom of my foot and only because I have to walk on it! I was diagnosed at age 61 (in October 2008). My surgery was December 19, 2008 - just in time for Christmas. Had to have another surgery in January 2009, shattered my shoulder in June 2009 (more surgery) and had to fight a MERSA infection at the end of June through the end of July so 2009 (hospital and rehab)was not a great year for me but I am thinking positive about 2010. BTW - Max will help you heal. Does he look like this?
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How super huggable Kathleen--looks much like my Baby Boss but smaller. B Boss is 11 pounds of love and fun.
Jeannette....Probably too late for you to read this, but try not to worry about your US. As you have now had a cancer diagnosis.....every little thing will be suspect, but we can have so much that turns out to be nothing...little water cysts or fatty cysts etc. I have cystic lumps all over ( can't tell one from the other with no program ). Still scary I know but the worry button can wait till you know what you are actually trying to worry about.
I'm hoping to have a pleasant day after yesterdays rain.....aarg. I may blow a few more leaves it not too wet. We are so close. Hope you all have a wonderful day.
Jackie
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If you didn't see President Obama pardon a turkey today - find it on a repeat or wherever - it was hilarious. The guy has a great sense of humour.
We had our Thanksgiving in early October.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you in the U.S.
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Hi Ladies:
I just wanted to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. Can't stay on here too long, I am washing clothes and trying to clean up some, all the children are coming over tomorrow.
I need your prayers, when they did the total bone scan last week, thry think they saw something, I don't know what they think they saw. I had x-rays done yesterday, don't know when they will let me know anything, but we serve an amazing Jesus Christ who can take care of any thing!
Guess i need to finish cleaning and get hubby some lunch.
God Bless Each and Every One Of You.
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Motherof7...You have my prayers! Try to put the anxiety to the side for now and enjoy your holiday.
I want to wish all of you a wonderful Thanksgiving....no matter where you will be or how you will celebrate. I am thankful for this thread and the ladies here who give so much of themselves so that all of us have a "home away from home" to visit! Hugs to all of you at this special time of year
Rita.
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Hi all...well I made my 9 year cancersary and my 67th birthday yesterday..
Happy Thanksgiving to all
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