~* The Waiting Room *~
Comments
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2tzus,
Congratulations on your B9 result! I'm having sommething similar going on, except mine is a lymph node very close to my mastectomy scar. They did an FNA that came back B9. Still makes me nervous, though. When I started asking questions about false negatives, etc., everyone I talked to, from radiologist, to surgeons, to my oncologist told me they can remove it if it will give me peace of mind.. The thing that really made me decide to have it removed was when the surgeon told me he could do it with a local and sedative. He said, "At least that's the way I do it". So I guess every surgeon wouldn't. Maybe it's different than your case because it's a node, or because it's location makes it easier to remove...I don't know. I also hate the thought of another surgery with general anesthesia, so this was a big thing to me. I'm sorry your surgeon can't or won't do it this way. Maybe it's worth talking to her again, asking more questions, or getting a second opinion? Good luck to you.
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HI all-
Well Antiach I just said several prayers for you, and have a good feeling for you! I love how positive you are and I am sure the PET will be emotional but just continue to breathe and put your worries back out there.
TM's came back normal they were a 9 lowest they ever were, also normal liver counts after having them elevated being on so many drugs. Its funny both my ONC's reassurred me 100 times that they were elevated because of all of the drugs, (Herceptin, Zometa, Clodranate, supplements) sometimes I just could not hear them and I would imagine liver cancer but liver cancer does not drop back down in the ALT so again I was letting fear rule. Its amazing to me that I can feel so well for a couple of weeks and think boy I have come through the worst and I am ok and feeling so thankful and blessed, then out of nowhere fall down again and let fear overcome me and envelope me. So glad to know I am not alone.
Kathy sink into that wonderful feeling of knowing you are NED from PET just really enjoy!
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Well, no sleep for me last night and can't stop my hands from shaking this morning! I've been promised a phone call this morning. My onc. nurse said to call her if I hadn't heard from them by 11:00. I just want this over with. I talked my 2 older children last evening - they are 11 and 9 - and tried to explain to them that although I don't have cancer right now it could always come back. I don't want them to be waylayed if I get bad news. I also told them though that if I did come back I would fight just as hard as I did the 1st time and we would knock it out again. My daughter said something that broke my heart.... she is the 11 year old. She said that the bad news was that she knows that the first born daughter is the one most likely to inherit the cancer from the mom. God - how and why does she know that??? It kills me to think that I may have passed this monster to her. The feelings I have right now - the waiting, the fear, the anxiety from scan to scan - I can't bear to think of her ever having to go through this.
Thanks for all the prayers and positive thoughts.
Anita
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StaceyR and 2tzus, thanks for the response. Heres to scar tissue and B9 oddities and subduing the fear for a while, a very long while. I did ask for a cancellation appointment, but don't hold out much hope for one. I feel much calmer today, but am very aware of what's under the surface, literally and figuratively.
Interestingly for all in the ~*Waiting Room*~, the few times I've been in this surgeon's office I've had to wait for hours. When I finally saw him, he told me that he has stopped worrying about keeping to schedule and spends as much time as needed with the patient in front of him. That sometimes trashes the schedule. And then he spent as much time as needed with me. I decided maybe it wasn't a bad tradeoff. I'll take a lunch and some magazines (his are terrible) in case it happens again. Then I suppose if he wants a biopsy I'll head over to yet another waiting room.
anitach, more prayers and positive thoughts sent your way, and very large hugs. I'm so sorry you are going through this difficult wait.
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Saw my onc for my 6 month check up (2 years out!). Now the wait for the blood work begins.
Can someone find me a comfy couch with pillows?
Hugs,
Trish
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STILL NED!!!! Praise God! I see my onc. on Thursday to see what the plans are now. Hoping he will agree to refer me to breast surgeon for double mx.
Thank you all for your well wishes and prayers. I am so grateful to all my sisters on this board!
Anita
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Thats the news we like to hear!!!!
Be well, Anita
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Anita - So happy for you! I checked for an update several times yesterday and was worried about you. Celebrate, hug those kids, and, to steal from Lexi, be well.
Sue
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Well, I'm also waiting. Found a hard moveable lump about the size of a lima bean affixed to my sternum area. I've been feeling it but my anatomy seems so different since my mastectomy it didn't seem as obvious as it does now. Not sure if it's bigger or my implants have dropped allowing me to feel it more?? It rolls around and is VERY hard. Hopefully just scar tissue or fat necrosis.
Anyways, saw PS for an appointment yesterday and he is stumped at what it could be. I have a call into my BS for an appointment.
I'm pretty sure it's nothing but I would LOVE to know what it is so I can stop thinking about it!
All my best to the others in this room!!!!
Keli
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Congrats to everyone with B9 results!
Saw the surgical onc on Monday. She is absolutely a keeper. She's scheduling a stereo bx, PS consult, and genetic testing, for starters. The bx path rpt will determine scheduling of b/l mx. She recommended the Diep and said altho it could be a 14 hr sx, she thinks it will have the best outcome. So, more waiting ... but that's how this goes.
All my best to everyone else playing the waiting game....
Blu
PS My ruptured vein (& I) made the flights home just fine...
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I swear I almost ran out of the room today waiting to see my oncologist - the tension is eating me up! And then he came in and didn't even have my mammogram results. The somewhat-good news is that he gave me a good exam and didn't feel anything abnormal (there's one little lump next to my scar tissue that concerns me), so he was reassuring. But basically I'm still waiting for another few days until they read the mamm and let me know. Argh.
Can we get a yoga coach in this waiting room? I need someone to distract me.
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Hi ladies,
I too am in the waiting room. It's so nice to have company. I vented on another thread yesterday. I had a fine needle aspiration done on a bump that I feel is nothing. Everyone else is all doom and gloom. I want some optimistic people on my team!!!! So this is my 6 month checkup time but onc is giving me the royal treatment due to this bump. So waiting for pathology, and friday is bone density and mammo, monday is excision, tuesday is CT and bone scan and then I get to wait for all the results.
Coffe and a paper, or popcorn and a movie:)
I hate waiting.Cheers and best wishes everyone.
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Welcome to the Waiting Room, Sherry! You will need some entertainment for the time you're going to be spending here. What are they excising Monday - the "bump"? I'll be with you on Tuesday - I'm having a PET/CT to "celebrate" ending my year of Herceptin. I equally like the ideas of a yoga coach and something harder for our coffee - Maybe a nice workout and then a stiff drink.
Wishing everybody the best news - Sue
Dx 1/15/2008, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIa, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+0 -
Well I'm assuming that my bloodwork has come back with no problems - as I have not heard anything yet. I guess I'll see my onc in 6 months.
Trish
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prayrv..
no news is good news right?
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Lexislove,
I sure hope so!!!!
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I've been without a computer for a couple of weeks, so I'm trying to catch up.
Congrats to everyone that's gotten good results and prayers for the same coming to those still waiting.
God Bless!
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2tzus,
My "lump" is not near my incision. It is on my right breast very close to my sternum up high on my chest - in the clevage area but in a little closer to my right breast. It almost feels like a loose bone?? It is so hard and wiggly. It does seem to be affixed to my sternum on one side. Who knows???? Good luck to you and everyone else in here! Here is to staying busy and not letting this get the best of us!
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Excising my "lump" on Monday regardless of what it is. I just talked to my GP who is so great to me and said he would call my cell the minute the pathology crossed his desk. God love him. This is just such bad timing. After a year of waiting I finally have a date for my recon. If this is a recurrance there will be no recon for at least another year.
It's so exasperating (sp?)! Oh well, tonight I take time for me, it's off to quilting class I go.
Cheers ladies.
Sherry
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ok, bone density, mammo, and bone scan done. waiting for ct on tues., pathology from aspiration, and excision monday at 2, and results of all tests. Boy I can hardly wait.
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Sherry
Many prayers and positive thoughts for you this week. That is a lot of tests to endure.Let us know how you do.Just a positive thought, my stepmom's sister had 10 positive nodes stage 3, 22 years ago and she had several scares and today remains NED. Good luck and may peace be with you during this time.
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Sue
Also many prayers and good wishes for your PET on Tuesday, I just know it will be negative!! Once this is over you are really moving on!
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Thinking of you Sherry and praying that everything turns out ok!
Anita
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Hello all, I haven't posted in a while, but today is the day.
In a few minutes I'll gather up a bunch of magazines, and me and my little lump will head off to the surgeon's waiting room. I am still trying to think that it is just a bit of scar tissue. Somehow the most striking aspect of this wait is how I am so easily tossed back into fear and dread. I hope that either more time or some coping mechanism will come into play eventually. I want my life back to normal. Don't feel so fortunate today.
Wish me luck. And huge, huge quantities of luck to all of you.
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Thanks for the good wishes, mmm5. I just talked to Scottsdale Med. Imaging for my instructions for my PET/CT tomorrow- that brought back that familiar "oops, I may just puke" feeling from a year ago. M MUGAs and breast MRI didn't really phase me, but this. . . . Positive thoughts!
fortunate1 and Sherry - prayers for both of you. fortunate1 - I guess I just echoed what you said - how easily we are tossed back into fear and dread. I guess that's the "new normal" of our lives after a BC diagnosis.
Luck, prayers, and best wishes to all.
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OMG in reading this I could feel that feeling that you describe perfectly, like puking yes!
Good old SMIL, I lived there in Feb/March 4 MRI's 2 sets of xrays, one day I came in for Lumbar MRI after having so many problems with hip and back, the tech was going through the drill and he looked at me and said "its a good thing you came in as last night I had a lady that formerly had Lung cancer and complained of hip and back pain to her Dr. and he ignored her, fast forward to last night 6 months later and she had a huge tumor on her hip." Are you kidding me did you just really tell me this story in my current state. I think I had tears running down my face and felt sure it was some sort of sign that I should prepare myself. Well 45 minutes later after MRI I think the tech felt so bad, he came in and whispered in my ear that he wasnt supposed to tell me this but there was no cancer. I cried for 30 minutes in parking lot. I was relieved but disheartened that this would be my life going forward. The worst part was when the ONC and SMIL called me a week later and said they forgot to do the pelvic area and I would need to come back. I lost it on that one.
But all is clear and I just feel good that I don't have any scans in near future. We are here, we understand and there is nothing to say except breathe, pray, and let go. Feel every feeling that is going on and know that we all know.
Michelle
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I'm back, almost no wait, and a sympathetic doc. It's the first time he's seen me since the surgery and the first thing he said was.......How's your stress level? So I told him about the fear and dread. He said that it would get better with time, especially at the magic 5 year mark(an awful long way away). Be good to our selves, a cancer diagnosis is a good reason to make sure you're doing things you really want to do. Realize what and who is important to you.
As for the lump, most of them are nothing, but they're not going to do any guessing, so tests will be done. For me, another stint in the waiting room, an ultrasound and perhaps a biopsy on the lump he thinks is nothing. I'll be happy to get the reassurance, and hope the "new normal" starts to feel normal.
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hi all, fortunate1 it looks like we are in the same boat only you have the optimistic drs.
I had my lump excised today by the same surgeon who did the aspiration last Tuesday. However he didn't bother to read any path report before he saw me today. So basically I'm still waiting. still feeling sick to my stomach, but i am welcome to call his office after 11 am tomorrow and he might have read it by then. It also has the ability to have a false negative so we should wait for the pathology from today to come back.
Jesus, can they not get their sh$t together and realize what an emotional roller coaster and how stressful this is for us.
Frustrated, Mad, Scared, pissed off, you name it, i'm feeling it tonight.
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Wow Sherry! I don't understand. Why would they do an aspiration if they already knew they were going to excise the lump, or why would they not check the pathology to see if there was a reason to excise? It seems they are very concerned, but it sounds confusing to me. They don't check the results of their own tests? I Hope you get some resolution to this soon, and that it's of the very happiest kind. No more roller coaster rides! My own mood is very good this morning. It's the first since my "little lump" journey began that I haven't been in tears on waking. I am going to get a lot of work done today, and hopefully wrench an appointment for the ultrasound out of the breast center's overbooked schedule. I never felt like my breast cancer "team" was much of a team, nothing seemed coordinated at all. Onc ordered a PT/CT scan, surgeon didn't seem to want the results, etc. Yesterday I saw the surgeon leaf though my chart and note what the other docs were doing. Boy did that feel good.0
