MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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Kleenex-your poor mom! But at least you have good "guilting' material for eons on your sister!
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" It's not like Father's Day, which is coordinated by a mom."
I woke up and cleaned house as my parents were coming over for dinner. We went to church and in caring for the nursery, DH managed to give me all the little ones who deperately wanted their own mommy. I aklso got the blessing of changing the most disgusting diaper in years. We headed home, and DS#3 was off to work. DS#2 called for the third time in the weekend to wish me a Happy Mother's Day. Being in Japan, he wanted to hit Mother's Day, there, and here. I spent the afternoon on my feet preparing the meal, and DH sat watching TV. Finally at 3:30 I sat down beside him only to have him nod off. The door bell rang and it was time to put on the meal. I cooked and served, gave mother a beautiful plant and Card. Time to clean up dinner, and DH had t run outside because ....wel because he had something to do. Cleaned up, visited, sent parents on their way. Cleaned more and went to bed. This morning after my shower, DH left a card on my pillow. He said he didn't want me to think he'd forgotten and bought one today. Hmmmm. Isn't it great to have a house full of males? DS#1 is in Afghanastan and could not call. Just another Sunday...
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(((((((((((((((((((((((((Elimar))))))))))))))))))
&
(((((((((((((((((((((((((Meece))))))))))))))))))))))
& any other mother who needs and extra ((((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))
including (((((((((((((((((((((((((Kleenex's Mom))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Thanks, Ainm. You know, you have to remind us of your holidays. Don't you have Mothering Sunday sometime in March, like England? We tend to be Ameri-centric about our holidays, I think, so just throw yours into the mix whenever you feel like it.
Hello and welcome to Stanzie!
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Stanze...welcome....like you, I was Dx 3 month before turning 50.....I was so looking forward to my BIG 50....yes it was memorable, but not how I planned....had chemo #3 4 days before my b'day....I had 2 teenagers (one in high school and one in college) and a 2nd grader. Today we are all 4 years older...
Good luck to you....wishing you many years of dancing with NED. Karen
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Thank you for the welcomes.... Mother's Day for me is bittersweet as my Mom passed away in 2004 and we were very close. I have two sisters but am not close to either but luckily I have my wonderful kids even if they are hiding behind the teenage hormones.
It was my ex's weekend but I came and go the kids early to go to a kid's symphony performance. One of my sons has Down Syndrome and he adores Peter and the Wolf which is what they were doing but my other son, his twin - typical child, was horrified and embarassed to be there. So he made it know how miserable he was. Oh well, it got better once we got home and one he got fed. Teenagers certainly can eat a lot.... Still not used to that part. Seems like I'm barely finished with the dinner dishes and they are back asking what else there is to eat. So far my daughter's hormones are managable but I do know it is coming soon.
I'm sure a lot of you are probably careing for elderly parents and that is hard - I do remember that. I guess that is one thing to be grateful for I'm glad my parents missed my getting a divorce and getting BC as I can only imagine how worried and upset they would be. It was hard enough telling my children. Anyway, glad so many had a good Mother's Day.
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As the mom of three grown children that still live pretty close to home I made out like a bandit. Son gave me roses and helped pay for lunch, daughter gave me a gift card for a pedicure which I desperately need, and other daughter gave me a beautiful picture frame that is perfect to our upcoming beach trip. Hubby gave me a bird bath and flowers. At church I ate a chocolate donut!! A treat for myself. The service was all about how Mary and Joseph lost Jesus in Jerusalem. It was pretty funny actually.
Now we need to prepare for DaddyPallooza as his birthday and father's day are close together.
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It's no big deal, but I'm going for my 3-mo. interval to the Med-Onc today. They just take a little blood and I'm not a needle-phobe, so I'm not at all nervous about this. Not like mammo time.
I'm getting my Vit. D re-done. I had it done four months ago, but guess what? I noticed on the lab. report, right in a little info. box, that the test I had done (the 1, 25-D) was not the preferred initial Vit. D test! So, today, I'll get the other one (25-OH-D.) Don't ask me all the technical stuff, but basically the second test is a more accurate reflection of the body's stored Vit. D. Going in there the first time, I did not know there were two tests or which one to ask for BUT shouldn't my doctor know which one is preferred initially???? Grrr! Now, my first test really cannot be used as a baseline. I cannot compare to see what four months of supplementing has done for me.
P-Mom...DaddyPalooza...hahaha...good one!
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Elimar - my 3 month onc visit today too. I still have my port so poking is easy. I did not make out like Lisa for mothers day. My 2 boys also live close to home. I went out to breakfast with one and DH and the other was working so that was that! Oh well. My Mum did well - I sent flowers. A nice surprise in May as mothers day is in March in England when she gets to celebrate the first time with the rest of my siblings.
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How did it go, gilly?
I did have to see the doc this appointment, which meant I got to give him some crap about the Vit. D test. He deserved it. He was also probably thinking, "This is going to be a long five years with her!" Also, for the first time this Med-Onc gave me the clinical breast exam. That means I have four doctors, total, giving me the CBE grope PLUS the mammo. (I say grope because there is not a one that spends more than 20 seconds on each side.) Good thing I do self-exam.
When, I was done there, I went right downstairs to the Rad-Onc, who I was supposed to have a check up in a couple weeks, and cancelled that appt. Finito for him. The next one I think I will cut loose is the BS after I see him once in the Fall. I am trying to get it down to my Med-Onc. and my GYN doc, plus mammo screenings. That will be one doc exam every three mos. That's sensible, that's enough.
Now no doctor visits until mid-June. Happy dance.
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Hey Elimar - I also had a CBE with med -onc. Everything was fine for me. I had my port flushed and I am going to get de-ported. It is time - I'm 6 months PFC!!!!! My med-onc is the only doctor I see other than PCP who does the CBE and paps etc. I didn't even see the rad-onc once after completing radiation as my skin was so good he said it wasn't necessary. I am on 3 monthly visits with the med-onc. What about the rest of you ladies?
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I see my onc every six months, my PCP every 3 to six months, depending on what;s going on, and an annual at my Gyno.
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My PCP was out of the loop...not even on my B/C team. I still made sure he got all the reports. When we were talking, I found out his mom died from B/C. I know I like to gripe about my docs (because I expect excellence from them) but I do like each one of them so far. They are all pretty good communicators and never rush thru' the office visits. While they may be a little old school, they have never refused a request for any test that I have wanted.
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I am totally confused as to who I am suppose to see and when. But I always see someone at least every three months. I was told that between my surgeon, Onc. and Rads they would switch it up so I see one every 3 mos. I guess my onc. dropped out and that's fine with me. I saw rads a couple time since I finished in Dec. and see him again in July. It's my general pract. that seems to be my best helper. She always does a great exam and specializes in women's health. I don't see a gyn. I just see her. Go back on the 26th for my one year follow up and Mammo. on both sides.
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I see my med onc every three months, my pcp every three months (for asthma/lupus problems), my rad onc every 6 months, my gyn every year and dropped my breast surgeon cause she said I see enough docs! I won't even go into the cardiologist, rheumatologist and gastroenterologist appointments! Geez, I'm ready to be done with all these appointments. This is the first month in 15 months that I only have ONE dr. appt. YEAH!
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Wow, I feel kind of under-groped. I only have visits with the Med Onc, alternating with Miss Condescending, her PA, every 6 months, following a mammogram. They draw multiple vials of blood each time. So "just" twice a year I'm thoroughly searched to see if I'm harboring cancerous mayhem. I have an annual gynecological exam where I am felt up again and we check to see if my cervix is plotting evil. The BS has not seen me since handing me off to the Rad Onc after my follow-up exam about a month or so out from surgery in 8/08, and I haven't seen the Rad Onc since shortly after I finished radiation in 11/08. Was I supposed to see these people again? They're all in the same practice. Maybe they pass around my folder after I see the Med Onc or her minion.
On the other hand, I often feel as though every six months is too OFTEN for all of this, unless they're secretly suspecting that my body will whip up an aggressive, fast growing tumor at any time now. They SAY that they are not expecting this. The theory allegedly is that I'm likely to remain cancer-free, to the best of our knowledge, for several more years, with the odds of a return of some kind ramping up at about 10 - 15 years. The every-six-months visits make it SEEM like I'm under heavy surveillance, but whenever I ask questions or, say, call to find out the results of my blood tests, they treat me like it's not something I should be worried about...
I don't even HAVE a PCP, but I should probably find one, since if it isn't cancerous or accessible through my vagina, no one is interested. Tamoxification is accelerating the aging of many of my body systems, so probably I should make someone help me with that...
Coleen
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I guess I belong... I'm 58 now and two years past the diagnosis, surgery and radiation. I joined a clinical study a few months ago where the focus is on walking, and doing exercise to get in better shape for life as well as prevent a recurrence.
Our parents are deceased after many years of caretaking. My son turns 23 in July and has one more year left on his bachelor's degree program. My husband and I have multiple medical problems. I was notified that after 26 yrs of loyal, workaholic service to the university, next March 10, 2011 will be my last day. My contract is not being renewed for budgetary reasons. I have a number of feelings about that and have been trying to sort out the financial impact.
They told me two weeks after I returned from Mayo's for a breast check and diagnosis of a mass on my pancreas..Fortunately not cancer but if you have ever had the Cells Gone WILD experience - you worry.
I have done well with this news for the most part. Will have to retire to get the medical insurance at a reasonable rate. But deep down, there is a sorrow - a loss, some anger... not unlike the whole cancer deal. Comes out of nowhere and you are left wondering what you did wrong... I'm not doing well today...
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kleenex--the biggest reason for the folllow up appointments is not to look for new cancer but to monitor for adverse long term effects of the treatments (chemo and rads primarily). Oh, yeah, and maybe to manage long term hormonal therapy side effects. The "party line" is to say it's to monitor for recurrence. The appointment info and blood test results also provide info for research.
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Oh Middies.
Will you welcome the Prodigal Child back into the fold?
I have been here, there & everywhere, but just now realized how very much I've been missing this thread. I went back as far as everyone's Mother's Day "celebrations" (you know who you are) and even as far back as the Seven Dwarves. [How do you spell dwarf pluralized? Does spelling count?]
All things cheeto.
All things middie.
How about someone stop by this evening & keep me company on this foul, rainy evening? I have a box of wine and am feelin' the need for a heart-to-heart.
Glad to see the middie fires are still glowing.
xx00xx00xx00xx
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Hi middies. It's been a while since I've been here, too. Like Faith, I'm from the "Cheeto" days...maybe January??? I remember being at my son's in Oceanside and bouncing messages with Meece. Hi Meece!
I took some time off to get past my 3 and 2 year cancerversaries. I had a scare with a sore neck that lead to blood work and a bone scan in February. All is well and I am, once again, having sleeping issues. Sleeping pill number 2 is no longer working so my Oncologist has changed my prescription. Last night it plugged up my sinuses, which is a side effect...great. Now I can't breathe or sleep!
This was my first Mother's Day with NO kids at home. I started the day with tears and a pity party. My husband dragged me to a local nursery and we bought several kinds of veggies and flowers for our garden, then spent the day planting them. He bought me a new bird bath and Bar-B-Qued dinner.
Three of my four kids called me, one's in Europe, and one of my step-daughters.
I found out today I didn't get the job I applied for at our local cancer center. I'm pretty bummed, but hopefully I'll find something soon...
Linda
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Welcome Mahomet_mom! You bring up a middle-aged issue we haven't really discussed much here. While anyone can be a victim of downsizing and a crappy economy lay-offs nowadays, I think this age group (especially the 50-60's) tend to get the bum's rush into early retirement. When you join the B/C club and have to miss work for treatments or take some leave, it makes it all the easier for employers to move you to the head of the line when someone needs to get let go. (Not that it's PC to ever say that was the reason.) As the late, great Bob Marley said "When one door is closed, don't you know another is open?" I hope your situation turns into unexpected opportunity.
Kleenex, your hilarity is so uplifting. Seriously, at this age it is good to have a PCP. If you stay healthy, you can simply have all your reports sent there making the PCP do double-duty as your archivist.
NativeMainer, I'm down with that theory too.
Faithandfifty, you know it's like an open house around here. Wander in anytime, come as you are, pour your heart out, stay over in the virtual guest bedroom, steal a virtual terry-cloth robe. Same as always. Same goes for you, Smithlme.
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Smithlme, You've been missed! How is everything in the great wet North?
Faith, I'll stop by and share that box of wine, just give me directions. I think you just add an "s" to dwarf to pluralize it.
I guess I did get a nice Mother's Day gift from DS#3, he found an apartment and is moving out. I am ready for the nest to be empty. I know I will miss him, but i won't miss his messes! DS#1 called from Afghanistan last night with a belated M.D. Greeting. He is doing well and will leave to come home either May 31st or July 15th. I am ready to know he is safe at home.
Suz, I forgot about the Rhuematologist and Cardiologist. Isn't it funny how accustomed your can get to going to Drs, that you simply forget one or two? Sad actually.
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Hi all. Glad the mother's days were mostly pleasant!.
The food at the Real Housewives' Brownstone was pretty tasty.(I posted earlier I was going to a BC benefit there.)
Here is a blog post about it.
My arm and shoulder is somewhat better. I am even going to my friends wedding in Cali, this wekend, something I thought would not be possible even a few days ago. I now book the non- direct flights, I just feel like it's safer for the arm.
The bad news is that the OT said I may have these spasms for the REST OF MY LIFE!
More good news, my swelling has gone down a lot. I feel a lot more like myself. The OT said even my face looked less puffy.
So that's all she wrote for now. Peace.
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love the pic, elimar! I loved that movie, too!
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I realized while falling off to sleep last night, that in my return post I made a weather reference. A certain sign of just how long I've been MIA. Wet cheetos, wet cheetos, wet cheetos (not a rain reference, just a soggy concept in general.)
Thanks for overlooking, E. A bigger thanks for the gracious bathrobe.
Off to PT for the rest of the morning.
xx00xx00xx00xx
Wishing everone well for today's journey.
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Good to see everyone doing okay.
Very quickly, I won this Mother's Day contest for my Mom, she is a survivor too, and this sweet lady saw my little post and send me an IM. Get this, she has the exact cancer I have, her sister has M.S. just like my sister, her name is the same as my sister's, her Mom and my other sister have the same name, and our DH share the same name. Freaky! So we have exchanged phone numbers and I am going to give her a call today. She had her first Chemo. on Tuesday. I've tried to get her to come here and look around but so far I don't think she has. I think back to when I was doing chemo. and don't know what I would have done without this site. How do I encourage her without sounding like I'm giving her a brush off?
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Faith, in my Mother's Day ramblings, I, myself, briefly made mention of some rain. It happens, but it's a slippery slope. If I get too lax around here, we usually wind up with reports from around the nation. From there it's just a heartbeat away from full-blown 5-day forecasts.
I've got some Real Housewives commentary today...since you brought them up Cookie. I think those shows are in four different cities now, and some have had new cast members so we've probably seen at least 30 housewives over time. I've seen augmented breasts on those shows, but so far no B/C. You know that if these are real Real Housewives, the odds are 1 in 8 for them too. I'm not saying it should happen to any of them, I'm just saying that if it does it would be quite realistic. (OMG! if it should ever be N.J. Theresa, BRCA+, with her three little girls!)
I watch too much t.v.
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PauldingMom, that is so amazing. I love things like that. Since you have already told her how much this site helped you, the perhaps you could share some of the amusing stories since everyone needs cheering up especially during chemo I'd imagine.
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PauldingMom, you can mention it again when you talk to her today. Some B/C women just aren't computer users, and if that is her case then encouraging won't make a difference. Try emailing her the link to the chemo forum so she can easily get to that. Just reading about women in the same stage of treatment was helpful to me.0
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Most of the time, the Real Housewives shows focus on frivolous fun, especially fun the average woman isn't having because it's prohibitively expensive. So they might gloss over or even skip a breast cancer treatment festival of "fun."
Share the pain in my junior-high heart: I am chaperoning a ridiculous band trip with my high school freshman daughter's band. We're going on a fun-filled four day trip: San Antonio for a competition and Six Flags, and then we're spending two days in Corpus Christi at the beach. We leave at about 2 am this Saturday morning and return at 11 pm Tuesday night. I'm pretty much a professional field trip chaperone, and while I often use inappropriate language when discussing the Texas school system in general (Every Child Left Behind), I must say they know how to do a field trip.
This particular field trip has ominously unscheduled blocks of time during our stay in condos at the beach. The idea of my freshly-15-year-old daughter hanging out with only light supervision in the company of many older band boys was kind of horrifying, so I signed up to chaperone. A good friend decided to go because I was going. We spend a lot of time together, and our daughters are in the same little circle and chose to room together for the trip. Originally, the plan was that chaperones would be in pairs and have a "family" of kids that they supervised together. My friend and I were going to be a pair, and hoped to have my daughter's group and perhaps another group of kids as part of our group of 12. But then they apparently didn't get enough chaperones, so now the families are ONE chaperone and 8 - 10 kids. The kids choose the chaperones. And this is where the "junior high heart" reference comes in.
My daughter and all of her friends signed up with the other mom, my friend. I so far have a small and odd little group of upperclassmen. Logically, I know that this is actually a GOOD thing, because my daughter is in good hands and I will not be the one giving her a hard time about applying sunscreen and putting on some clothes, for goodness sake! We're only with our "families" for the beach/pool portions of the trip - about two days of it. But on some level, I feel like I "didn't get picked." How pathetic is that? My group so far is looking easy - small, and one of the kids is the band council president, who is the picture of responsibility and positivity. It will probably turn out that one of the other kids in my group is her boyfriend, and I will spend the entire time trying to keep track of them as they try to sneak off and do carnal things. I just need to work harder to get rid of this stupid feeling - it's like when you're the last one picked for a team or something...
In the grand scheme of life, this isn't a big deal. It's awesome that I am here to go on this trip, and that we can afford for me to go, and it's going to be a lot of fun, as long as no one has a major injury or ends up pregnant. So I suppose I need a big slap in the face...
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