MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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I found both with my own children now 40 and 37 I had a motto of ' if I move it, you loose it" they would get two warnings. I still have the same motto with my grandchildren when they come to stay. Needless to say I do very little picking up after them. Their mother has regailed them with stories of her own growing up and they take her at her word and when told to do something I rarely have to say it twice. Just love it......Oh the power! lololol
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I appreciate all of these stories ladies. Misery truely does love company and you're all great company to have.
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I'm still in the trenches, fighting daily battles with older teens. Once, my older one was told to put away all the clothes strewn about his room before going to a friend's house. I think my wording was, "I am tired of seeing that mess in your room." So, what he did was consolidate it into a pile and throw a bedsheet over it to "hide" it. Who does that?!? He did escape to the friend house before I had a chance to inspect it that time, but I learned from that. What a coincidence that the laziness and the deviousness both reach a peak in the teen years.0
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Ahhhhhhhhh! I knew you ladies would lower my stress level. Love the stories. Just so you know, before I went to bed last night my DD gave me a hug & a kiss, said she was sorry & I'm the best mom in world! Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I wonder what's being concocted now?
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Okay,my turn. Here is the excuse I got from my 21 year old that killed my plants.
I told her, "If it rains you don't have to water the plants except the ones out front because they don't get any." I meant the rain doesn't hit them, they don't get any rain on them. She said she thought they didn't get watered, ever.
Eph3 12 you totally did the right thing! and in the long run she appreciated it
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I found when dealing with kids of any age that when you give them an instruction, don't trust that they understand. Always get them to repeat it back to you. Sometime you get the comment....don't you trust me?..........Answer?........Of course I do, I just want to make sure we haven't got our wires crossed. no feelings hurt and no misunderstanding either.
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Eph3_12, glad you had a rainbow at the end of your storm.
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I started writing my notes in great detail:
Go into your bathroom
Remove the clothes and used towels and take them to the washing machine
Add soap to the washing machine and run it with your clothes and towels inside
Return to the bathroom
Use Comet and Scrub the sink and tub
Sweep your bathroom floor
Empty the waste can from your bathroom into the outside can
Use glass cleaner and a clean towel and clean the mirrors and chrome in your bathroom
Wipe off the bathroom countertop
That way, I got the bathroom cleaned up in a half @ss way instead of not at all.
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Yes-more detailed instruction writing is in my immediate future. Thanks, truly everyone, you have lifted my heart!
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I have been reading everyone's post and LOL. I can because I've been there.
Paulding...."They dont get any" can mean 'dont get any water' meaning dont water them.
This could be an honest mistake.
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So now it's decision time. I got a phone call yesterday and was offered a part time job. I really want full time so when I called back today to decline the job I was told that it will be full time hours and even part timers get benefits after 90 days. If my performance is good I can go full time in 90 days. The down side is working every other weekend but even that is negotiable. I told him that I need time off in October because I'm walking in the Komen 3-Day and that my doctor is 4 hours away because of my current medical insurance. He said no problem, just request it and go. Hmmmmmmm...are they desperate or just really want me???
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your reputation as an a$$ kicker preceeds you! They really want & need you, desperately!!!!!
As outlined, it sounds like a decent deal--I mean if you don't like it or if you get offered something else, quit & go. Right?
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I second Eph's opinion. Go for it Smithlme.
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They seem VERY willing to work with you on the parameters of the job....GO FOR IT!!!!!
Some people don't hear opportunity knocking, even when it's pounding on their foreheads.
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smithime--I agree--go for it-- BUT--get all the things this person told you IN WRITING before you sign on. Not to be a wet blanket but sometimes employers will tell prospective employees anything they want to hear to get them to sing on, then fall back on "That's not our policy." It the offer is legit, they'll put it in writing, then it has the weight of a contract.
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Hi Smith, I agree with all of thee above and NM has a very good point! Congratulations on the job offer!
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The problem is I need a job but I don't want this one. Does that make any sense? It seems like the manager is offering a lot of what I want, but the job itself isn't one I truly want to do. I have an appointment with a career counselor on Tuesday and he'll be working with me to find a career I want. They work with businesses and will pay half of the wages for 6 months while you learn the new job. The other job I didn't get was one I wanted but this one isn't a good fit for me. ARGH! I hate this...
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smithlme: Does Ft. Bragg have a variety of jobs available? Or will you have to be throwing in commute time/gas for any good job?
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A variety of minimum wage jobs and most are part time. "Commuting" consists of going over the hill, which is 33 miles of winding road and takes about an hour. In the rain and possible snow, that's not an option I want to deal with. I'm really looking for a full time job with benefits so I can stop paying COBRA. My biggest fear is that I am out of the service area for my insurance but I am able to have it because I've had it for over 20 years. Once I get off of their plan I can't go back on it. I love my health care team and really hate to lose them. They are my safe zone in all this cancer crap. I need/want to have it but I can't afford it.
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Yeah, I'd hate to have to switch out my team too. My fingers are crossed for you.
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Smith, I too am looking for a new job but at 55 I am so particular that even though I want to move home I just can't make myself take something I don't want to do, so I get it!
Eph, My DD now 34 was a wonderful and loving little witch when she was a teenager, and I was always trying to stay one step ahead, so when I found that grounding her was really a punishment for me, because I had to look at that pouty, bitchy face all the time! I thought about what was really important to her and came up with Money, she was working some. Soooo, I wrote up 10 rules and anytime she broke them they cost her a set amount. Once she owed me $20 just to get out of the house on a Friday night! Then I would stash her money, but I always bought myself a little something and then would tell her "thank you for providing me with the money to buy this" it really made her mad (Ha Ha). Then when she graduated from HS I gave her all that money back!
My DD was just here (34 now) and she is 51/2 months PG and I got to be the first one to feel him kick and it was wonderous. She is now a spectacular human being and clean too! Just wait a minute and your DD she will make those changes too..
Hugs,
Linda
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What a fabulous idea. She has more money that me anyway! And how cool that you got to feel the kicking 1st (well after your DD I'm sure).
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Ooooooh, y'all are some hard*ss moms!!!!! I am taking major notes here. Won't my teenage girls be THRILLED with my new ideas? I sense two common threads here: (1) hit 'em where it hurts them (so YOU aren't the one learning from the consequence), and (2) it can be fun and highly effective to be an over-the-top psycho every once in a while.
It's also encouraging to hear stories of seemingly untrainable slobs who go on to be functional adults living reasonably clean lives. I read somewhere that the "teenage rebellion" thing where they seem to break every rule is actually a demonstration that they know the rules. Yay? That doesn't make me feel better.
We returned from a trip late last night, and my 15 year old didn't get up until noon. She wanted to have a friend come over, however. So, WITHOUT ME ASKING, she unpacked, sorted her dirty laundry, put away all clean clothes in her room, picked up everything else out of place in that room, cleaned her bathroom (okay, it wasn't sanitized for anyone's protection, but the toothpaste globules and coverstick splatters were gone and no one will be afraid to brush their teeth in there), practiced her french horn and was starting in on things downstairs before asking if her friend could spend the night. Smart girl! Who can say no to that? I almost said, "Who are you?"
And I just remembered another thing - my husband and I left the girls home for a few hours a couple of weeks ago, and when we came home - CAKE! My 15 year old had baked and frosted a chocolate layer cake. The sink had a couple of things in it and there were some faint frosting handprints on some appliances, but the counter had been cleaned and most things were put away. It was AWESOME. Here I was fretting about what they were doing while we were gone.
Hopefully, I can remember these sorts of things during the inevitable ugly patches we're due to experience this year...
Good luck with the job thing, smithlme. I hate that the "c" thing adds to the frustration - hope you get to keep your "team."
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They always seem to know how to clean and what chores they should be doing when they want something from us. Maybe we need to all write down the good things and pull out the paper when things get ugly - just so we can remember there is a wonderful child (almost adult) under the teenager.
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Kleenex! You still crack me up. I love to read your posts. My future chef daughter already believes she is famous because if I came home to a chocolate cake production there would be no cleaning until I was blue in the face from yelling. She thinks she should have the hired help (me) do that. And it's not how she was raised either; when she was little she was responsible for cleaning up her own messes but I have ALWAYS had to ride rough shod over her (and just what does "ride rough shod" mean anyway?)
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Roug shod were horse shoes with projections to prevent slipping. Soooo If you ride your daughter rough shod you stand firm and will not slip or give way.
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AND, it would hurt and make her work quicker and not forget the lesson!
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The cleaning of the room was something that got the kids going...I just got in their rooms and started cleaning EVERYTHING! They were always in a panic, cleaning as fast as they could ahead of me.
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I don't have kids, but I remember my Mom cleaning my room while I was at school. Anything she picked up got thrown away, unless it too valuable to throw. Those things I had to earn back by doing chores, usually washing dishes for a week. I hated washing dishes, and Mom would use every pot and pan she could. Did you know a woman can use 3 pots and 1 frypan to make mac & cheese? And these were copper bottomed pots,which had to be scrubbed and polished with every wash. I will NEVER own copper bottomed cookware! And I couldn't use the dishwasher, either, it all had to be done by hand. I was really, really miffed when my younger brother got old enough to clean his own room and she didn't do that to him, she just shut the door and ignored the mess. Someday I'll have to ask her why the difference. . .
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Native...Because with the second child its no longer a shock. 0
