MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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Probably. But I still think it was because he is a boy and was the baby of the family.
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Haha, when I was growing up I would ask my Mom, "why don't you ever ask my younger brother to do chores" responce: "because he's just a little boy" "but Mom, he's 16 yrs old" Oh, the youngest have it easy...but not mine, I learned from my Mom not to have favorites!
Carol~who recently turned 50
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My younger brother says he used to LOVE lying in bed listening to the vacuum cleaner going!!!
Holy hell! To me that meant I was late for chores!!! That meant stripping the linoleum floor and re-waxing. Ironing all afternoon in 1/2 hour shifts with my sister (I don't even OWN an iron now!). I hated Saturdays. The only way I got out of it was to get paying job!
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I have an iron, but my husband ruined it waxing his skies. Growing up, I had to make my bed perfect...now, I no longer make my bed, unless absolutely necessary, like, when my Mom comes over ;-} oh, and I don't have a set routine for any chores!
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I have an iron & ironing board, but when I brought them out when DD was about 12 she honestly asked, "What are those things?" I always had to vaccum & dust-as an adult, my house gets vaccumed only when company is expected. For a while I hosted a weekly Bible study, just to make sure I cleaned!
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I used to work full AND part time. One day because of a doctor appointment I told my (then) 4 year old daughter that I would be home to make her dinner. Oh my!!! She laughed and laughed and laughed!!! I asked her what was so funny? She said "Mommy, Daddy do dinner!" That really hit home.
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DH always helps me make the bed. In five years of marriage our bed has not been made maybe a dozen times, most of the time was because I was recouperating from surgery. He also irons his own shirt every morning, other than Saturdays. I will help out if he is rushed. He will do dishes, emptying and reloading the dishwasher or by hand, and he will vacuum the entire house. He won't however dust the furniture or do anything to do with cleaning bathrooms. I think I have it pretty good, and will gladly clean the bathrooms and dust.
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My DH does the shopping and cooking. Also all the laundry which I have to remind him of. HATES doing the outside work which I LOVE but can't do anymore. That's why we're moving. He will vacuum, but also won't dust or Windex. Never done a window or a sink either, but hey...I'll take him!
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And my mother was such a clean freak that grew up to be just like her but I no longer have the energy and it is no longer on my necessary list, love me love my mildly clean house or let's not visit here LOL!
It is time for my MRI again and I feel the anxiety starting to build for Tuesday! Everyone of the damn things brings me another excisional biopsy, I tried to wiggle my way out of it but I need a good base line on the right. I am going to ask about the new recommendation for high risk women to have twice yearly Mammo's and maybe an MRI every two. You know when I was done with my last radiation I really naively thought "I am cured and thats that". Keep your fingers and toes crossed for me middies!
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Those of you who have spouses and/or children to help with the housework do not know how much you are blessed. As a single woman, either I do it all or it doesn't get done. You have no idea the depth of frustration and depression that seeing things needing to be done (sweeping, vacuuming, dishes, laundry, making the bed, emptying trash cans, etc) and not having the energy to take care of them can bring. Or the the embarassment of having to ask a friend to do it for you when they come to visit. Or the demoralization of listening to your mother's critique of your housekeeping ability as she does the housework.
Praying for you OmahaGirl--I could NEVER get through an MRI and I am SO glad I don't have to have that or a CT!
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Omaha, what made you a Stage 1 A? I mean, where does the A come in?
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Hey ladies, I'm kind of upset. TWICE now on Facebook, which I normally just use for games, there has been "People you may know" links to make friends. Both times it was one of the sisters here that have passed! It's kind of freaking me out. It's been Pat (Saint) and now it's showing Phyllis (the one with the troll face). How weird is THAT?????
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Don't worry, it's not some ominous prediction. Those Facebook things are randomly generated by a computer.
They are probably friends of at least one of your friends there, and let's face facts, nobody wants to unfriend them. I think it's kind of nice to think that even though they're not with us anymore, Saint and Watson still pop up and we are still reminded of them.
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Watson! I feel so bad I couldn't remember her bco name...
They are linked as "common friends" but it's still freaky.
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fELT LIKE JUMPING IN AND SAYING A PRAYER FOR OMAHA GIRL AND HER ANXIETY. i CAN RELATE, WAITING FOR MAMMO RESULTS AND A YRLY CHECKUP THIS COMING THUR. I do pray the Psalms as they release a power greater than me and the thoughts of a good God holding my hand is comforting. But anxiety is a real sleep robber. So while I'm praying myself to sleep this week, I'll pray also for you. " What time I am afraid I will trust in You. " I gotta question for this thread since many of you will too be thru menopause and prob ably have a slowed down metabolism. WHat has worked for wt loss? I finished chemo the end of Jan and had gained 25#. Finally got serious about exercising in late spring and lost 12 # for my daughter's wedding. I'm still on the bike and walking and do wts twice a week but have hit a plateau. It had depressed the heck out of me. My owlish hair-do doesn't help. Just ready to have that "new normal" be an IMPROVED version of the before BC me! I know it ain't gonna happen; but please give me some tips that have helped you regain your image confidence and composure. thanks for listening....and hold me accountable to heed the feedback I get. arby
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fELT LIKE JUMPING IN AND SAYING A PRAYER FOR OMAHA GIRL AND HER ANXIETY. i CAN RELATE, WAITING FOR MAMMO RESULTS AND A YRLY CHECKUP THIS COMING THUR. I do pray the Psalms as they release a power greater than me and the thoughts of a good God holding my hand is comforting. But anxiety is a real sleep robber. So while I'm praying myself to sleep this week, I'll pray also for you. " What time I am afraid I will trust in You. I gotta a question for this thread since many of you will too be thru menopause and prob ably have a slowed down metabolism. WHat has worked for wt loss? I finished chemo the end of Jan and had gained 25#. Finally got serious about exercising in late spring 12# for my daughter's wedding. I'm still on the bike and walking and do wts twice a week but have hit a plateau. It had depressed the heck out of me. My owlish hair-do doesn't help. Just ready to have that "new normal" be an IMPROVED version of the before BC me! I know it ain't gonna happen; but please give me some tips that have helped you regain your image confidence and composure. thanks for listening....and hold me accountable to heed the feedback I get. arby
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arby--Congratulations on losing 12# for your daughter's wedding! That's quite an accomplishement! Do you do weight work at a gym? If so, ask if they have a trainer that you can consult with. I'm thinking that increasing the weight work, which increases muscle mass, which increases metablolism might be helpful. And are you drinking enought fluids/water? If not, in the heat we've been having it's easy to get salt and water unbalanced and that tends to hold on to weight. You mention feeling depressed--you might want to discuss this with one of your docs. Depression itself can cause weight gain, even without a change in how much you eat. Yes, many antidepressants list weight gain as a side effect, but if you have more energy to put into your work outs and continue to watch what you eat you can avoid that and go on to loose weight. I lost weight when I went on an antidepressant just from the lifting of the depression and the physical symptoms it causes. Let us know how it goes for you.
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Joni - that's what I do: invite people over. Forces me to clean the house. I wish I would clean it for ME and my family, but apparently outsiders are more worthy of cleanliness. I've had a cleaning person in the past from time to time, and while I don't clean for the cleaning person, I DO de-clutter for the cleaning person, to reveal the surfaces (counter and floor) that can then be cleaned. If I would do that for myself, then it wouldn't take long to actually clean things, once they're uncovered. So what I need is a fake cleaning person who never actually comes...
Omahagirl - my onc doesn't have me do MRI's (I had one prior to surgery). She says too many things pop up that aren't actually anything. I just have digital mammograms every six months. Interesting how different "standard of care" can be. I'm thinking I'd like to have one in here somewhere. Hopefully, yours is totally uneventful and quick!
To help you feel better about your day: my poor daughter and 200+ of her nerdy band friends start their marching practice this morning. It's going to be 106 here today, and close to that for the rest of the week. Luckily, they will be inside in the afternoon, but it's not particularly pleasant out there NOW, either...
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Barbe, stage 1a the a is because I had an invasive component less than a cm.
Thanks for the positive thoughts, my PLCIS is the only reason I am having MRI's because was the pre-cursor to my BC. and we have to watch carefully for invasive lobular carcinoma. However, if I had never had the 1st post-op MRI I could be living in la la land, because we never would have known that I had any type of LCIS
My BS and I find this whole situation a bit of a conundrum since the MRI's have so many false positives.0 -
Kleenex: "So what I need is a fake cleaning person who never actually comes..."
Hey, I'll be your fake cleaning person, if you'll be mine!...thanks for the LOL.
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Suthenflowah - sounds like a plan. I am also happy to be your fake overnight house guest if you'll be mine. That will force cleaning of the guest bedroom, currently known as the "junk drawer with a door."
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Praying for you Omaha
FREAK. People actually stop us and ask who does your yard. He loves to tell them what type of fertilizer and stuff he uses. I have actually seen him picking up stray leaves out of the front yard by hand. Next weekend we are going to bleach the driveway. Insane 
! He's also good at cleaning up around the house. His mother was a clean freak and he caught the disease. Only one prob. he doesn't put things away right. His idea of picking up is to shove it in the closet or under the bed. Uck! but I try not to complain as at least its out of the way. 0 -
Kleenex! Girl, I am rolling on the floor & that's not good because I'm gathering up all the dust bunnies!!!
ALERT*** My 15 yr old DD (almost 16 as she says) starts a REAL job today. She got hired by a local credit union as they are going to install a branch @ her high school. She has training this week & next & is getting paid real $ - minimum wage which in Oregon is $8.40. When she is doing the bank work @ the school, she will earn elective credit toward her graduation requirements & on breaks, etc. she'll be eligble to pick up hours at the local branches for $$. I'm celebrating!!
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I am impressed with tales of working teens, baking teens, heck, I am impressed if you have a teen that rises before noon. I'm enjoying the teen stories shared so far.
Though I often write posts that have some humor in them, I find that I cannot put a humorous spin on what passes for teen behavior in my house. The horrors are too fresh. Maybe in a few years I will see the humor, but right now I am stuck in a warzone. It's terrible. I have two 18+ age sons that are disrespectful, shirk responsibility, and argue with me on just about everything. The old-fashioned phrase "too big for their britches" suits them both to a T. I know that, unfortunately, it can get like this around the time they should be leaving "the nest."
Where is the other parent in all this? Well, "buddy-Dad" is not a big help. His laissez-faire attitude just enables their behavior. When I have tried some of the more dramatic solutions you all have written about (like bagging up everything laying on the floor in kid's room, or raking--yes, with a rake-- it into a pile) he shows no support and will undermine me instead. Avid readers of this thread might realize I have never used the "DH" term for my husband, and I have my reasons. So, unfortunately, I have no family support.
I've heard that sometimes, through maturity, the teens actually become loving and responsible adult children. Sometimes. I can dream the dream anyway.
While I am here, I may as well solicit some advice:
IF YOU are the family member with the highest standard of clenliness, how do you get other family members to pitch in when they are oblivious to the mess/filth around them and quite satisfied wallowing in it? That is probably at the crux of my own problem here. (All replies welcome, except any that turn me into a maid for three grown, able-bodied individuals.)
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hahahaha "junk drawer with a door"
that's now the new name of my husband and my bedroom, because that's what it's become! I have friends who I'm sure think I'm annal because they only see my house when it's sparkling clean. I tell them to show up uninvited sometime to see the house in it's natural state!0 -
OMG you guys are cracking me up. "Junk drawer with a door", now thats a new one. But I can totally relate. My hubby does the shopping and cooking too. He just like to cook more than me. I would much rather clean the kitchen afterward than have to cook the meal. Occassionally I have to cook but try not to if I can help it. Now baking is another thing and I enjoy baking occassionally. Not too often because I also enjoy eating it.
I am really bummed about all I've read about weight gain during chemo. I am already substantially overweight and have been trying to lose some weight. I was hoping I could continue to lose some during chemo and rads but now I'm reading that I will most likely gain. Ugh!I have a Pampered Chef party on Aug 14th (booked pre-diagnosis) and so I have been making myself do some extra cleaning each day. Today I washed kitchen curtains and the windows (I didn't do a thorough job on windows, but cleaned the inside of the glass).
Well, think after an exhausting day I will relax with a book for awhile.
Hugs and best wishes to you all. Deb
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Okay couldn't help it, just had to add another comment or two.
Elimar I once read somewhere that teenagers become so "difficult" at about the time they are ready to go out on their own, to make the transition easier for us Moms. My suggestion is go on strike. You could even put a big sign in the yard that I have seen on the news before, stating Mom on Strike. Have your zones, that are neat and clean, but don't lift a finger to pick up after them. I would even go so far as to chuck any of their belongings left in a "family" area into their room. Just open the door and pitch. Hopefully they will get sick of it and clean. If not, eventually you may have to hire a cleaning company....lol.
So happy mine are grown. Of course, now I have the grandchildren a lot of the time, but they are still pretty young and will usually do as told, I just have to stay on some of them. Although the 4 yo and 6yo granddaughters love to clean and will clean for me anytime. They even ask if they can clean. Hope they don't outgrow it....lol.
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Keeping the Faith-they will.
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OmahaGirl, Sending positive vibes to you for tomorrow. I have my 6 month check up on the 23rd and I'm already dreading it.
As for house cleaning....my mother has me brainwashed still. I make my bed every day, even when I was going through chemo. I only had one child at home during that time so I kept the dishes washed and the house clean. My former co-workers offered to hire someone to come clean my house and I was so freaked out that one of the housekeepers would come over sick and make me sick. I was determined to get through chemo as fast as possible and stay as healthy as possible.
I remember Saturday morning chores. There were 3 girls and my brother, the oldest. He never had to wash a dish or do any house cleaning. His chore was to mow the lawns. We did all the inside chores including dusting under the chairs. I had the joy of ironing my dads handkerchiefs and the scarves on the dressers. To this day I hate to iron.
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