MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

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  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 4,424

    Welcome newbies.

    One word of warning, you'll LOVE us here & we can be somewhat addicting -- especially in the beginning and you need tender, loving care around the clock. BCO is here around the clock!!

    3jays: the task bar, for finding the little tree is right above your post as you are typing.

    The task bar starts on the left with a capitol B for BOLD

    Look past the indent and the link posting and THERE's the tree!!! Just before the happy face.

    As an experiment for yourself, please attempt using the happy face as an added gizmo.

    That will bring you some add-on emotions, while you wait to figure out how to post pictures.

    Smile  Laughing  Innocent

    Just click on the yellow smiley and it gives you lots of choices to express emotion.

    Click on the one you want and voila! Emote-a-con!!

  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 10,618

    That's a great explanation Faith.  I was going to try to make a screen shot and put it in my post, but I got sidetracked until I read your post above.  I must have ADD.

  • gingersfavorite1
    gingersfavorite1 Member Posts: 134

    leaving now for treatment numero 11  (of 16)   woo hoo ... moving right along!

  • elimar
    elimar Member Posts: 5,886

    We have brought this up before, but since we have added quite a few new women to this group who are still near the beginnings of their treatment, I wanted to mention again the "Look Good...Feel Better" program.  Most cancer centers will periodically have this 2 hour program, which gifts women with a large bag of cosmetic items to help them maintain their looks and self esteem while going thru' treatment.  Even if you don't wear make up, there are moisturizers and nail care products that you could use. They also have tips on wigs, wig styling, and hats and scarves for those doing chemo.  It's also a way to interact with other women in various stages of treatment.

    Here's a link to Look Good...Feel Better, and you can scroll down to "Find a Program" and enter your zip to find where it is offered locally for you:

                                                http://lookgoodfeelbetter.org/

  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 10,618

    I went back 7 years ago, and it was nice.  They had several tips that I was able to put into use during chemo.

  • Kleenex
    Kleenex Member Posts: 310

    Hmmmmm, does Look Good...Feel Better have a program for women who didn't have chemo but have been Tamoxified and have lost their mojo? I probably just need to turn myself in at the Clinique counter at the mall and say, "Help me." :) None of my friends has stepped up to the plate to turn me in to "What Not To Wear," either, despite my flagrant use of outdated fashions...

    I am very proud of how well I'm behaving myself this year during Pinktober. My girls and I still chuckle as they point out "Look mom - breast cancer crescent rolls!" But I don't lash out at poor cashiers who have the misfortune to ask me if I want to "donate to breast cancer."

  • Diva
    Diva Member Posts: 14

    I will be 40 in January and presently am getting life back to normal after dealing with breast cancer in 2009 and part of 2010.  I had a bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction last year and earlier this year had a bilateral oophoreectomy (removal of ovaries and fallopian tubes).  Having had the oophoreectomy, I was thrown into menopause.  The symptons have been horrible, but my main complaint is the weight gain.  I exercise daily and I have changed my diet but the weight is not going anywhere.  Has anyone else had this problem and if so, what can I do to lose a few pounds?  I know I will not look like I did in my 20s, but I want to lose at least 20 pounds.  Right now I weigh 174 and want to get back to 150, is this realistic?

  • elimar
    elimar Member Posts: 5,886

    Can't say I noticed any real change in my memory due to any of the cancer ordeal I have been through (which did not include chemo.)  I blame all that on middle-age...but I've heard that the problem is not that we can't store the info. or memory, it's the retrieval action that gets faulty.

    Something I did notice just this week was that running a small fever due to a mild cold sent my Tamoxification side effects into hyper mode.  I had more hot flashes; and the night sweats were creating a whole sub-tropical layer of perspiration that actually soaked into my clothes.  Usually, my night sweats just make me kick off the covers and turn the pillow over to the cool side, but for the first time I had to get out of bed and change sleepwear.  Anyone else have their Tamox. S/Es go haywire during a headcold? 

  • elimar
    elimar Member Posts: 5,886

    Diva, I was approaching menopause naturally, but then Tamoxifen hastened that along.  I have put on maybe five pounds in six month and they just don't want to come off despite more exercise.  First, I blamed the Tamox., but I really think plain old menopause is the culprit.  In middle-aged terms, hello belly-fat.  I just read a news article that said having 3-4 servings of whole grains instead of refined grains cuts belly fat by 10%.  I put the link to that here:

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20101021/sc_livescience/howtocutdownonbellyfateatwholegrains

    You also might like one of our "sister-threads" where the women are actively trying to lose, encouraging one another and posting their weights to keep track and keep motivated:

    The E-LAB Project

  • eph3_12
    eph3_12 Member Posts: 2,704

    Kleenex-as always I can count on a laugh when I read your posts!  I purposefully purchased TP the other day touting a pink ribbon-same price as Cottonelle, but Cottonelle only had the cute golden retriever puppy!  My mom spotted the pink ribbon & we laughed our asses off!

  • Carrol2
    Carrol2 Member Posts: 1,477
     ‎Diva it is day 74(Aug 9th) since my bmx surgery (no reconstruction yet), Day 18 of chemo cycle one of four 3 weeks apart. I have been going to weight watchers forever now and I am now 1.2 pounds from my goal. Before my surgery I was about 10 pounds from my goal then I raised my goal 5 pounds to take some of the pressure off.  I lost some weight after the surgery but gained it all back after I felt better. Then lost a few pounds first week of chemo, and gained that plus a little the second week. This past week i really stuck to the program and lost 1.4. I highly recommend weight watchers it is a very good program for weight loss and it does it in a healthy way. I lost 20 pounds since May. I am hoping to be at my goal weight by next week. I will also betaking Tamoxifen after chemo so gonna stick with program for that as well. Life is a challenge but it is easier if we have the right tools.
  • leisaparis
    leisaparis Member Posts: 326

    Hey gals, I found this great song that applies to all of us. I wanted to post it on here so that all of you could hear it too, but I don't know how to do it. One of my friends sent it to me in an e-mail. Is there any way to put that on here? If you know, please let know so I can put it on here. The song is called Middle Aged Woman. Thanks, Leisa

  • elimar
    elimar Member Posts: 5,886

    Do you mean it is embedded in the email, or did your friend just send a link?

  • leisaparis
    leisaparis Member Posts: 326

    It was sent as an attachment. I've tried to copy, but it won't let me. I can forward it. There is no picture or anything like that. It is just a song that comes up on media player. Any thoughts?

  • elimar
    elimar Member Posts: 5,886

    I don't know how to do it...why don't you see if it is on Yooooo Toooooob as a video and you can link us to there?  I'll look on here later if I don't get lost in a corn maze...

                  Corn maze Pictures, Images and Photos

                                      This one looks a little Blair Witchy scary.

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611

    Leisa i sent you a PM

  • leisaparis
    leisaparis Member Posts: 326

    Thanks Sheila, I think I may have it. I'm gonna try, here goes.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tMyNhTAFoU  

    If that doesn't work, I did find it on YouTube. It is sung by Lisa Koch and is called Middle Aged Woman.

    Describes us to a T. Really funny and so true. Enjoy ladies.

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611

    It worked perfect Leisa. And its so true.

    Sheila

  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 1,482
    I am about five days - or dozens of posts - behind so I'm scanning and responding to one now and then.  Maine, about your post saying you don't want to be the new activist for BC, man do I get that.  I've been involved with 3 projects for BCO, but very few know about that except friends on this site - to the "public" at large, I have no intention of marching or decorating myself in pink at every chance.  I applaud anyone who is moved to do that, honest to God I do, but I hate that it sometimes does seem like society expects any of us who had BC to be activists for the rest of our longggg lives :)
  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 1,482

    posting about cleaning for a reason - I used a service years after I was done tx and the supervisor (a man) and I got talking one day - he noticed my sleeve - and I told him why I wore it.  He got teary and said "Oh Mary, we participate in cleaning for a reason"  at which point I got all happy thinking I was going to get a freebie, but he continued "I really wish I had known you then"  HA!  But seriously, he said the same thing, that it's treatment - not chemo - and I don't think they  what kind of treatment.  I know a chatter from NC who used them several times and was very, very happy with the result and how she was treated.   Off to read more ....

  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 1,482

    ginger and meece - about housecleaning - I decided yrs ago (after BC) that I was tired of doing it, I'm not good at it, and just because our house has been and will always be under construction, tough sh**  I still have a kitchen and bathroom that need cleaning, so hire them I did.  I've gone through several services because I refuse to clean up after, but I live in hope I'll find the right, final one eventually!  Agree that if someone asked you what they can do, ask them to pay for one cleaning, or donate toward a cleaning.  It is so worth it, and jsut like L'Oreal tell us, so are we.

  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 1,482

    Eli - about Rock the Ribbon - how can I say this humbly?  hmmm.....maybe I can't!  I'm in the video they are showing that night - along with about 6 or 7 (of about 15) women who were filmed for the video.  If you blink you miss me, but I do say a few words on camera!!!  Because of that I do have two tix to the event (including the after party).  Hub just isn't into that kind of thing, so I'm going with a very close friend - it's cocktail dressy so we're getting dooded up and her brother who works for a hotel got us a room at a nearby hotel so we can stay overnight.  To say that I'm psyched and anxious and psyched about going doesn't even cover it.  But you know what my biggest thing is that I'm looking forward to?  I'll be meeting Marissa Weiss - I cannot wait to give that woman an in-person hug from every single one of us that I've met here on the board and in the chat rooms.  I'll be kind to her though - I won't mention every single name :)

  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 1,482

    SusansGarden - with that attitude you will sail through hte next few months :)   But, when you aren't sailing quite so well, come here, or go into the chat rooms, for support and encouragement.  I laughed out loud at the part where you said you have free pass to turn down invites - honest to God - I did that during tx and loved that no one would dare ask me for more of an explanation!!!  There are benefits, we just have to look hard sometimes to find them.  Glad you joined us, good luck to you, and milk that princess role for all you can honey :)

  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 1,482

    brazos - following up on what someone else said about travelling with LE - I've done more travelling over the last 5 yrs (since BC) than I did in the prior 25.  I wear my sleeve every day anyway because my LE isn't going to go away, but I have no problems after flying at all - and I've been all over.  I wouldn't think of flying without the sleeve though.

    fuzzycat - the overwhelming thing I think you need to know is that the horror fades.  I was so afraid in the beginning that I'd never feel anything but feer or dread ever again.  That went away, truly.  Sure, there are days when I wonder if I'm really out of the woods even 5 yrs out, but that's why it's called the present, right? Because it's a gift.  Hugs and my wishes for your healing.  Come here often hon.

  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 1,482

    diva - weight loss - I posted about a year ago, started a new thread, because I was so upset about not being able to lose weight.  I had overwhelming answers from women who, like me, were cutting calories and exercising more but not shedding, and sometimes gaining.  When I finally talked to my ONC about it, she laughed, nicely, and said that I was picking the worse time possible to be looking for weight loss, but by all means keep up the healthy habits and soner or later, it would happen.  Well, over the last 18 months or so I have managed to lose about 16 pounds, but it's down 1, up 3 ... so then a long time to lose those 3 and the other 1, and then 1, to be back to losing.  But I know I'm doing my body well by working out a few times a week and eating better.  That's the goal - changing bad habits - and eventually the weight will change.  Hugs buddy.

  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 1,482

    eli, again I'm answering them as I read them so others may have already posted, but yes ... tamox and colds/fevers will blow things out of the water.  the way it was explained to me ... tamox takes months to settle in, and the least little thing - a glass of red wine, a change of more than 3 degrees in temperature, one way OR the other, a change in your natural body temp ... these will throw tamox into overdrive, ergo throwing YOU into overdrive.  I was told to embrace it and say - that means it's working ... it's working ... it's working.  Try it - I guarantee it works.  Oh - not for more than 1.2 seconds, but it works :)

  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 1,482
    YAY....I'm done catching up!  brazos - I see you list PA as your location - where are you?  I'm jsut outside Phila - if you're anywhere nearby I'd love to meet up
  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611

    Mary...If you don't get hot flushes does that mean my Femara is not working?

    I occasionally had the flushes the first few months then it stopped.

    Nice seeing you Mary.

    HUGS

  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 1,482

    sheila - hugs hugs hugs - good to see you too honey :)   I don't think it means that at all - I think the person who said that to me was jsut trying to make me feel better!

  • Kristian
    Kristian Member Posts: 9

    Hello Ladies,

    I started reading this "thread" and then noticed there were over 180 pages, I am sorry I was not able to read all of your posts, but I would like to join your group.  I was originally diagnosed with BC in 2008 at the age of 38, I had my second diagnosis at the age of 40.   I have a 3 year old daughter.

    I find this website very helpful.  I just recently found out that my breast cancer is a very rare kind, and now that I am reading up on it, I wish I were more informed when I had my initial diagnosis.  I just remember back then being so overwhelmed, everything was a foreign word to me.  Since my second diagnosis I have felt the need to be more involved in my treatment plan, it just makes me feel like I am contributing to my own "survival".  I have gotten so much information from all of you girls.  Thank you for sharing your stories, happy, sad, angry, funny, they are all inspiring.

    I have done fairly well with all of my treatments, I had side effects but they were manageable.  I just finished chemo in August and I have heard from others that there is no chemo out there that works with the cancer I have, yet the tumour shrunk significantly.  I had surgery in September and radiation will hopefully start in November.  To all of you fighters out there, it is so worth the fight!  You have a lot of people on your side, don't ever forget that.

    Take care!

    Kristian :)