MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
Comments
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eph, hope the healing continues for you hon
eli, that was hysterical!! i can see me doing the exact same thing .. we go somewhere intending to be passive, just participate, but somehow we wind up in the thick of things. too funny.
paulding, i had a cortisone injection in my knee wednesday - talk about better living through pharmaceuticals!!! i hope your epi works wonders for you dear
brazo, i hope your LE sleeve/gauntlet are preventative while you recover from surgery. i developed LE two years post surgery and it's not a whole lot of fun. i know it can be temporary after surgery though, so that's my hope for you. as for when you'll be able to do all the things you want to do, take it slowwwww ... this your your body's time to heal, and like it or not, you need to bring it down a notch for a while. keep in the back of your mind that this isn't a sprint to the finish, it's a marathon that you want to savor for a long, long time. as to your question about people living past surgery, i'm more than 5 yrs out and i've done more living in the last 5 yrs than i had in the prior 10. i've travelled more, met amazing people - lots from the chat rooms on bco - and i think i'm overall healthier than i was before my diagnosis. go figure!!! i wishyou all that and more, but again, don't go rushing and looking for healing too soon - smell the flowers, call friends on the phone, eat that piece of cake now and then ... easy does it. welcome to our room
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P.S. Eli - that picture definitely remidns me of Faithie too - it really looks like something she would wear!
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brazo--after a major surgery like a mastectomy (certainly after a bilateral) it takes the body 6 months to a year to fully recover. You will feel much better after 3 months, but give yourself a bit of a break for at least 6. I'm 4 months out from bilateral DIEP reconstruction, still have tightness on the side of the second mast/immediate recon, less on the side with the prior mast/delayed recon and still get tired more easily than I did before surgery, but it's gotten much better. With the LE and cording it may take longer to get past the tighness and pulling. A big thing to remember is that taking the time your body needs to heal now you will actually get back to full strength more quickly than if you try to push thing too much.
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Thank YOU ALL for the Welcome Tore, Carol2, Elimar, eph3 and marlegal....
Elimar, sure I can start NOW..... the LE issue is that I am at risk from Axillary Web Syndrome...Cording...I have no clues other than I have to watch it and am at risk for LE b/c I have that... And I can not fly back to Jamaica, where I just had the best freaking time of my life in Jan/10 ... w/o a Sleeve/Gauntlet! <spit!>. The dragon fly thang.....has a story. As far as the word WORK....I did say that didn't EYE? Its been a year of having our downstairs foundation going to hell, and having the whole room gutted. And in Janurary the whole front of our house went from a winter of 7 ft of snow......Ice daming... 7 new windows. And then april came...................................and I stopped.
SIGH. I left my hammer and crowbar out for a long time so I would not forget that I was strong enuff to gut rooms.. And I liked it too. I finally put them away. B/c I am not bouncing back.... for awhile.... Maybee next summer! I am trying hard to be the WATER. A half of year has come and gone. I am pampering my self . I could design my own couch's. I pray, read, dont get my pissy on near as much. But I am really tired of rubbing my chest! I don't think fondling my incisions and massaging my chest counts as pamperage.
PauldingM....LOLOL the re: blood test, tell me more.
marlegal, thank you for that insight into the marathon....and easy does it. Sometimes I think KNOW that getting sick has hidden gifts... and for me a big one has been taking care of me, instead of always taking care of everyone else. Its my turn, my time.
Thanks to all of you.
Off to bed, too read and hang with the cats.
Nite room zzzzzz
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Hi....hope everyone is having a good weekend.
The good..today a breast cancer walk went right by my house! I cheered for the walkers from my window. It was kind of touching and inspiring.
Then I actually went to a play about a young woman with breast cancer ,her struggles in her marriage, and her bond with her bc sisters. It's called "The New Normal"
On the down side I had some really nasty office politics directed at me at my new job. So I have been really sad. People say I'm snobby.
Sigh
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Office politics is the pits, isn't it? I try to stay out of that stuff, but it's not always (or even often) possible. Got to play the game, sometimes, but it does make for sadness and anger. If all that energy could be focused on solving problems instead of manuevering the world would have no problems at all.
The New Normal sounds like a good play, I still cannot sit down and watch a TV show or play about bc. It get's too personal and too intense, and I keep wanting to jump up and yeall out "it's not like that at all!" or "Why don't you talk about the complications?" All those shows, to me, seem to trivialize the difficulties and problems and focus on the Superwoman, heroic battler-of-cancer-now-a-get-your-yearly-mammogram-crusader role that society expects us to adopt. I, personally, can NOT do that. It's nobody else's business what I've been through or how I coped (or failed to cope) with the challenges. It's MY choice who, when, and how much to tell. I shouldn't have to be "on stage" all the time because something I couldn't control happened to me.
Ah, I'm sorry for going off on a rant. Not sure how I got off on that subject this morning. It's a beautiful morning and I think it's time to take the dog (and myself) off for a walk.
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Cookie, I have been in your office shoes before. I am really a quiet to the point person, and if I am supposed to work and produce sertain things, that's what I do. But, when the other office workers were ALL smokers and went outside my office window for breaks (5-7 a day)and I stayed in to work, I was told I was a snob and not a team person. I also didn't go out with "The girls" headed by the office manager when they all got drunk. I feared for my job, and wanted to be a good worker, but that isn't what the politics of that office wanted. (((((((((((Cookiegal))))))))))))
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The office has it so wrong, that's it borderlines on funny. Cookiegal a snob
that's funny, but I feel sorry for you having to deal with that.So, yesterday I went to Starbucks for this little celebration of my GF finishing her BC therapy. It was her, her daughter, my two DDs and myself. We were enjoying coffee and pink donuts
. We wore pink and I decorated the table with pink flowers, stickers ect.... When this lady stopped me and asked me "when does the walk start next week?" I was taken aback. Just because I'm a survivor am I now the official timekeeper too? am I suppose to support EVERY walk, bake sale, pink a thon? Actually, the other day a sweet girl at the grocery store asked me if I would like to donate a dollar for BC. First I told her I didn't support BC but did support research and awareness of the disease,with a smile. She got it. Then I told her I had given enough. Now remember I'm pretty much high as a kite 24/7 on Vicadin for my back. Thank goodness my DDs were with me and explained that I was attempting to be funny and that I was a Survivor. At that point I moved my shirt and exposed my port scar and said "Blood comes out, Chemo. comes in." Poor girl. I was such an A$$ and told her I was sorry but that I had kinda had enough. I gave a dollar, came home a took a nap. When I woke up I put on my pink ribbon, pink earrings, pink bracelet and ate some Smores with my family.0 -
((((((Hugs))))))) Paulding.
Sometime I get a desire to ask the clerk if giving part of my breast wasn't enough, but I hold back.
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Real Women...Real Stories. That's what you get here. Luv ya, P-Mom! I would never wish that store clerk to encounter B/C herself, but if it ever does come to that, she will think back to you in that store and a light bulb will come on. (Especially since you no doubt scarred her for life by revealing that port scar. Oh-oh-oh!) Way to turn it around in the "aftermath," just please tell me you used those little pink marshmallows for your S'mores!
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Eli- I had to laugh at getting your group walking in the right direction, last year I couldn't even find half of my group!
Yesterday a clerk asked me if I wanted to donate to BC, and I said "oh believe me I already have".
Eph- glad to hear that arm is working well, they told me I wouldn't get back mine either and it is 100 %...they just didn't know who we were when they said that!
Cookie, I know you from our get togethers and you are very warm and friendly not a Snob!!! WTF
Have a good week I am leaving to drive up-state for work today, I hate working, ((sigh))
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Thanks for the advice NativeMainer....its helping my perspective. DH and eye are comming to realize it is NOT Gallbladder sx I am not bouncing back from... We talked about how do we get this Queen a cleaning lady at least 1x/ month.
This is my First Pink October. I never liked Pink....Its everywhere... reminding me... and I have just started to land from my surgery.
Off to re-invent myself again!
Peace to you all.
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Just for your info - anyone undergoing chemo
there is a site www.cleaningforareason.com
It's nationwide - if you apply, they will come and clean your house once a month
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Well...thanks for all the cyber hugs. I spent most of this beautiful weekend crying. Sincere compliments that I gave people were twisted around.
Anyhow it's a beautiful night, it's a new week, and all I can do is try my best every day, make myself and my husband proud, and create something that our customers enjoy.
The rest is in God's hands.
It's too bad after 2 months, I really liked this job and actually liked everyong I worked with.
Sigh.
It's a job, not life, not cancer.
Back to the show, obviously one play can never cover everyone's expericence. But there was some of it that was so true it took my breath away. Especially about being younger and having this kill your sex life, the frustrations of insurance, and that fact that it changes you in ways that can make people uncomfortable. I will post the blog it's based on next time.
I am so sad I don't even want to eat. And let me tell you the last time that happened was 1996!
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Cookie, Is there a way to un-twist things? Don't despair, and I hope all the goodness of the job can be recaptured.
Claire82, thanks for posting about the cleaning help. It's not in every city, but it was available in a good number of them.
Too bad it is not offered for the simply surgery weary, radiation fatigued women. Dang, those chemo gals get all the perks, don't they?
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their website phrases it for "women receiving cancer treatment" doesn't specify what type of treatment.
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You are right, gingersfave, it doesn't just say for chemo patients, does it? It really could be a help to women with frozen shoulder issues, or bad cases of LE, if they allow that as well.
If someone here does use the CleaningForAReason service, let us all know how it works out.
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Thanks for the link Claire. I am a 4 month out BMX and I can NOT take care of my 14 room house. Plus its gone to hell over the past 6 months.... I can putz with the lite stuff. But no heavy cleaning. And my men are FLAWED in the way men are and they don't think anything is wrong at all.....
Do you think I would qualify if I said that? Anyone used them?
Elimar, i esp did not say the word, WORK.... just for you.
Just put me in a 3 bedroom condo.
Off to read with the cats.
Nite room zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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I used them while i was on chemo
The woman who I hired to clean during surgery, reconstruction and chemo actually told me about the site. Her company is one who volunteers. There is a bit of paperwork and you need a note from the doctor saying that you are a cancer patient, but it was nice to have my house cleaned. They clean once a month for four months. I have kept her on as I still can't do heavy housecleaning. She comes once a month. Her mom has cancer also, but lives in another state. It was wonderful and she did/does a wonderful job.
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I was sooooooooooooooooooo far behind, middies!
I'm kinda/sorta all caught up, but now I can't remember all the bits to comment upon.
Of course, I am very fond of my twinzie-cousin, fashion conscious thread-topper. She's got seriously awesome style. Some ideas for me to tweak.
Welcome to all newbies.
Which reminds me, Brazos, the LE issues and getting back to the "real" you.......... so many issues broiling in there. It would require a book, or Cookie's play.
Which reminds me to hug ((((Cookie)))) you've been thru such a lot, it would sure be swell if your new setting loved you as much as we do. My guess is that they are jealous of the big city girl with the great ideas & talent.
Anyhow, Brazos, I had bilat mid Jan of this year...... all went as per the 'book' of expectations until I developed an infection/cellulitis which then resulted in a hemotoma/seroma. I'm been in PT much of this year: range of motion, cording, LE, the whole enchilada.
I, too, fall between the cracks of typical/expectations........ which has them all mystified. I have been in a sleeve/gauntlet since the end of April. Lots of strange adjstments: mentally, physically yada yada.
Come over to the LE section of the board...... there are a couple of women who are amazingly insightful/educated/knowledgable.
I've just this evening finished the fifth of my five 'events' of the last week. WHOOOHOOOOOOO!
Now I have a couple of days to lolly-gag before we head back to OH for a little bit.
Best to all the middies.
And as others have mentioned Elimar, you do indeed make a WONDERFUL den mother & we are fortunate to have you at the helm.
Good to get caught up!
Joni, I'm working very hard not to be 'green' over your gifted & talented status of PT. I'm at the other end of the spectrum I'm afraid. So glad to know that someone excels. Couldn't be a nicer person to lead the PT pack.
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Faithie-I can't claim credit; I'm convinced it's the power of prayer & kind thoughts! But I am glad that I am in the position I'm in!
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http://coyotereptheatrecompany.blogspot.com/2010/05/new-normal.html
If you are interested here is more info on the play.
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I thought the cleaning for a reason was for any cancer patient, not just chemo patients. I may have misunderstood, but I think it's for any cancer patient no matter what kind you have.
Sorry, just realized I was not on the last page.
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I contacted cleaning fora reason a few months ago and they asked me to have a letter faxed to them from my doctors office which I did about 3 weeks ago but have not heard anything back yet.
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yes, Cleaning For a Reason is for any/all cancer patients (not just breast).
Carrol, I would be calling them back, politely doing a follow-up.
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My youngest DD adopted a doggy on Saturday. What fun!!!
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I like the collar! I have several grand-puppies myself.
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awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
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I want to suggest that if anyone can afford to pay for a cleaning they should go ahead and do it. It will be worth every penny and you don't need to deny yourself. Women deny themselves too often anyway. If your husnand takes the car in for cleaning or especially detailing then get your house cleaned. If hubby buys take out food, then get your house cleaned. Do you have a lawn service? Then get your house cleaned. What are we all wating for? It doesn't need to be free for us to have it, we just need to decide we do indeed deserve to have a clean house and one less thing to worry about. Consider it therapeutic, because it is.
I know you have papersd all over and everything you suually would put away has piled up. So what the cleaners have seen it all before. I think this is part of taking care of ourselves.If you can't afford it then consider asking for help. All those folks who said, "What can I do?" Here is something they can do.
I love you all
Ginger
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Some of us at work got together and cleaned one of the girl's homes when her son was dx'd. I didn't have that luxury unfortunately.
When I married DH 5 years ago, he asked if I minded that he would keep his housekeeper. I said heck no. Then I realized that I had to clean the house after she left, and got angry at the money she was getting for little to no work! She wouldn't move anything, left coffee spills on the counters, left toothpaste in the sink, the nice thing she did was change and wash the sheets.
If you find a good one, it is an investment in your health, have your house cleaned.
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