MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
Comments
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Thank, Elimar! I'll try not to worry about it....but why do they make a big deal over disqualifying donars......and then in 5 years NED resume? If the cancer cells have been in the body 7-10 years before palpable.... Agree, could be still there after five years NED...so I'm not donating exept in an emergency AND with full disclosure.
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When I got my Dx, I was the first one in my group of old friends to get cancer. Then, my oldest friend got B/C. Now, another girlfriend who went in for thought-to-be-benign ovarian polyps/fibroids just got Dx'd with Stage III ovarian cancer. Surprise! She doesn't have her final pathology results yet, but sounds like they do it about the same as B/C...definitely some chemo for her. Because I know so many on BCO who did chemo, I was able to be encouraging to her; at least to say it's "doable." Didn't have to say it sux. Everybody already knows THAT!
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Elli good for you. Recently a friend of mine found out she had BC. I reached out to her and gave her several places to go for info, here being one. I did fb her a few times, but didn't want to pressure her. I know how it is, plus she didn't tell many people so it wasn't my place either. I let her come to me with any questions. When she finally went for her BMX she was at ease. She said that I was one of the people that didn't scare the crap right outa her. Her parents tell me this every time that I see them. Her dad just goes on and on everytime about how much I helpped her. That in itself helpped me as well. Its a scarey time for anyone and I remember that when I had my BMX that last thing I wanted to hear was how awful it can be. I let her lead with the questions, but my answers weren't meant to scare her, BC does that all on its own. The only time that I had anything bad (if you wanna call it that) was that I still questioned up until the time they put me under was O Crap am I doing the right thing. I know that sounds weird but thats just how it was for me. So anyways good for you on telling your friend chemo is doable!!!
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Elimar- I finished round one of chemo and am now on a 13 day break
. I can honestly say that so far fear was the worst thing (other than the nurse not knowing how to put in an IV). They give steroids along with the infusion so I feel like the 6 million dollar woman for a few days and can't sleep. I have had plenty of energy to do my normal tasks including working. I will admit I had days of nausea and constipation, but no vomitting or time in bed from side effects. The fear of the unknown can really play head games with us. I am hoping that the next 5 rounds go just as smooth. My white blood cells are still in the normal range and the red are slightly low, but some spinach should help with that. I have been trying to stay positive and the only thing I can say is there were some days of depression, but that too passed. I was terrified of having the double mastectomy, but that too has passed and I like my new girls (even though it is just the TE's until spring) better than the old ones. They are perky and look great. I can't say that it is a pleasant journey, but it is a tolerable one so far. I feel for your friend with ovarian cancer. Fear can rob us of so much. I have learned to face many fears the past 10 months that I never thought I could or would ever have to. I couldn't have done it without all of you.I want to thank all of you ladies for all your support you have given me to get to the point I am at. You are all a wonderful bunch of Angels.
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Diana, great to hear from you and so glad to hear that you are doing so well. I figured that each round of chemo that went well was a sort of bonus, in the sense that it was so much better than all my fears.
Hang in there and try to squeeze as much of a good time as you can out of feeling so relatively well.0 -
Dianarose - good to hear that you are doing well. Enjoy your break from chemo and best wishes for the next 5 rounds to go as smoothly.
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Dianarose, Mentally, the first one seems the hardest to go through, but that's under your belt now. Just hearing from others here keeps the expectations realistic. I think that helps. Chemo is no picnic on a sunny day, that's for sure, but then you find out YOU CAN DO IT TOO.
cmbear, Haven't heard from you this week...how's the recovery going so far?
Momine, Congrats on your 1-year cancerversary milestone (belated,) and wishing you many more to follow.
Barsco1963, I'm gonna say belated congrats to you to too, although I don't even know if that is considered appropriate for someone at Stage IV but I am thinking every year and every month and every day has the significance of being one step closer to finding a cure, or finding something to stop B/C in its tracks. So, let's all head in that same direction together. And have a cupcake, just because we can!
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Celebrate the small things, just walked to the mailbox and back with DH and no walker. My back is killing me but, at least I can say I got out of the house today! Hopefully, I will get my last 2 drains out on Tuesday and then I plan on a nice, long shower. Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts
Diana, you've crossed the first hurdle and I agree with eli, the rest will be easier to deal with because the fear of the unknown has lessened incredibly. Don't forget to eat your proteins and drink,drink drink your water. It'll help you heal.
And eli, I REALLY am going to enjoy your cyber cupcakes!! Dr has vetoed chocolate during recovery--and personally, I think I would have reconsidered this whole procedure if I had known that chocolate would be verboten. . . .
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WTH, cmb, you've been on a walker all week, plus drains, and with NO CHOCOLATE? What kind of sadistic recovery program have they got you on, you poor thing! Don't they know you need the additional serotonin-stimulating dark chocolate for it's pain blocking ability? Maybe they have found that no chocolate helps people recover quicker...like this...
Doc: It's been a week now, how are you feeling?
Patient: Great! Totally fine. Never felt better. Practically forgot I had a surgery. Recovered like a charm. All back to normal. All good. Good to go.
Doc: That's what happens when you stick to our recovery diet.
Patient: Didn't I see a vending machine out in your lobby?
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cmbear..you can have my chocolate muffin too, sounds like you need it.. Yay for walking without a walker
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Dianarose and cmbear was wondering how you guys were both doing. glad ya'll popped in.
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cmb - Glad that you were able to get out of the house. Nothing like some fresh air and sunshine to help recover. (and of course some chocolate cupcakes!) Here's hoping for no drains after tomorrow.
Eli - Church of Cheetos?? Where do you come up with these things? The cupcakes look delicious! I personally welcome acknowledgement and celebration of each milestone. (be it day, month or year). I appreciate each day that I am given and am grateful that I am responding well to tx. As cmb says "Celebrate the small things" And I am all for heading in the same direction to find a cure!
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barsco1963, I like a photo that makes you look twice...
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DianaRose, glad to hear you in good spirits. Yes, the unknown is worse than what we face, sometimes. continue feeling good!
cmbear, congrats on the walking. Step by step is what it takes to heal.
have a great day, everyone!
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Eli - And look twice I did - lol. Good one.
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cmbear good to hear you are moving a littel better, I know how it feels to struggel to get around!
El great pictures! Love Church of Cheetos!!
Dianarose glad to hear you got thru that first hurdle.
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Diana, I forgot one important thing. You are now a chemo patient. Please remember and keep firmly in mind that the international association of chemo patients has decreed that when in treatment you are entitled to the following:
People doing you favors
Treats, any kind, any time
The last piece of pie
Being a bitch
Enjoy!
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I have a different take on that last entitlement that Momine wrote about, which I know she wrote half-jokingly. I wrote something for another thread, a different viewpoint:
"There are lots of threads on BC.org where venting is commonplace, appropriate and understood by all. It feels good to get it out. However, this thread began with someone wanting to tell family and friends to F-off In Real Life That is not the same. Not to me, anyway. As much as we might think it, as much as they might deserve it, going off on someone IRL is rarely the best action, causing complications on top of cancer. Who needs to add additional woes to their B/C woes?
Definitely unburden your anger here. Just don't let B/C become an excuse for sharpening your tongue IRL. It's already done enough damage to you.
IMHO."
Good topic for discussion.
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Elimar, I was just kidding, and I agree that even chemo is no excuse for talking badly to people.
However, when I was in full-out treatment I did reserve the right to put myself first. If my husband wanted to go out and I just wasn't up to it, I said no. Before cancer I would have gone to make him happy. Stuff like that.
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I know. I just kind of used your post to bring up my point, since I had been thinking about that issue recently. Was wondering how other felt about it all, what to do with that B/C anger that we do get?
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I haven't had much real anger, to tell you the truth. Maybe I should be more angry, but it seems a bit pointless - raging at God or nature sort of thing.
When I find it difficult to deal, which definitely happens, I tend to go for long walks. Sometimes I go to church. Although I am not much of a shopper normally, I have also found retail therapy quite helpful at times.
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I got mad about B/C, because I DIDN'T want it to change me. I try hard not to let it. I can't speak as if I have a higher stage, but I still think I would try not to let it make me different. I may end up eating my words if I get a recurrence.
Some people have real issues, with family and friends doing a lot of the wrong things. Nobody's life is idiot-proof. I'm saying that getting all B/C righteous and telling them what idiots they are is probably just going to make things worse. It is a shame when B/C alienates families and friends, so it is tricky to vent the anger to the appropriate person. I think having BCO as a place to whine and vent has probably saved some relationships IRL.
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Hey Middies today is my first anniversary of my 49th birthday. One of my brother's called and asked me how old I was I told him you know he said yea just wanted to hear you say it. DH sent me black flowers at work. Said he could not pass up the opportunity. He loves to cut up and joke.
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Elimar, those are good points, and you are probably right that being able to vent here has saved some relationships.
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Happy first anniversary Sherry!! No Black roses here! I'm thinking that this is a red velvet cake--yummm! I'll be celebrating my 2nd anniversary in August, I like being 2 better that the alternative!!
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Elimar: good topic! I know that being able to talk on this forum...even not really "angry"...has saved my relationships with my DH, DM, DS's, and my closest friends....who God love them, can't always "get it" when my responses and emotions don't match what they think they should be. Ive always had an issue with expressing anger....tend to bottle it up and then explode inappropriately.....but I AM getting better and know that exercising, praying, and having you ladies who always "get it" to talk to are my best defenses. Blessings to you all!
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Happy birthday....oops anniversary, Sherry!
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Thanks ladies and claire I love red velvet cake.
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I have been off the boards for months and have tried to catch up on the past few days.
It is do good to be able to talk to gals who have gone through what we have even though each journey is so different. It is ok to yell, scream, $%&##*, cry, we all understand.
A coworker and friend of mine has had a set back in her journey. We got to know each other because we were undergoing chemo at the same time at the MO office. Found out a week and half ago she had a brain tumor which was operable, had it removed last Sunday. She was getting lunch in a drive thru and felt dizzy, put the car in park and that was the last thing she remembers before she woke up in the ER. I have talked to her and she is doing better than expected. She will have to have radiation treatments but that is it. Tumor was about the size of a dime. Keep her in your prayers and she continues to recover, it was a metastasized tumor.
I'm doing well, keep getting my monthly Zoledex shot and next month get my 6 mo Zometa infusion and see MO. I went to see a podiatrist my MO recommended about my feet pain due to neuropathy. He prescribed me a prescription only vitamin for neuropathy pain call Metanx. Primary used for diabetics. It has worked wonders and has minimized my pain that I can go few days with having to think about it. It is not covered under insurance so $$$ about $110 for 1 month. Found an online pharmacy that the Doc. sent the prescription to for $48.00 per month so I can now get it cheaper. This time two years ago I started chemo. So you all can get through it and then love on others as they go through it.
Diana your a trooper, enjoy your days off.
Cmbear - baby steps, slow and sure wins the race.
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Hi everyone- I too am not really angry. I appreciate things more. I do get mad when woman make dumb comments, like the one at my son's school who asked me if it hurt when they cut my boobs off. Are these people for real??? I don't think I tolerate the things I used to though. Like Momine I don't do things I used to feel obligated to do. I don't go to baby and bridal showers for those who I haven't heard from in yrs until the invitation came in the mail. My time is too precious to waste on things I don't want to do. Let's face it, most men will never get it when it comes to what we have all been through and are still going through. I told my BF that my hair was starting to shed when I combed it. His reply was,"now you know how I felt when I started to lose my hair". Not even the same. I just don't tell him as much anymore. I come here to vent because you all understand.
I went to my primary doc yesterday and she hadn't seen me since my fills. She wanted to see them and then she asked if she could feel them. I told her to go ahead I can't feel them. She said they were awesome and that they looked like a 16 yr olds. It made my day. I tried on my bathing suit and I was so surprized how I looked. BF sure liked it. Funny he gets that part.
You are all family and we are in this together and I don't think I would be as strong and positive without you all. I am enjoying the eating without nausea during the chemo break. I have been craving fruit. Went yesterday and picked 12 pounds of strawberries. I am going to make some jam tomorrow.
My new stress is I am letting my 13 yr old fly to NC to visit his sister. He has never flown before and he leaves on the day I start the chemo again so I can't see him off. That will be a Xanax day for sure.
Hope you all have a great night. Love and prayers to all of you.
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