MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
Comments
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HURRAY LORAL !!!!!
Barsco is right, many more yrs to come.
Eli- good luck. You are our leader so you will wake up. No getting out of the mess you got yourself into with all of us when you started this thread.
I need some advice from my sisters. OK, boy friend of 7 yrs has not had much to do with me since, well, the boob job, and even less since the stage IV news. So I went on a casual date to a county fair with a man I have know for over 25 yrs(his divorce will be final this month. Has taken a yr and a half).
Then we took a day trip to Boston. Had wonderful time. He is head over heals in love and says he doesn't care about the BC or the stage IV. I just feel that it isn't fair to him. He is at the point in his life where he wants to travel and do things. He now has the time and the money. I just feel like it is wrong to bring someone into my nightmare.I don't think he really understands what he would be getting into. HELP !!!!0 -
My zaniness need no encouraging, cakes; my bad brain that gets off the leash at times. (But do encourage me to do well in surgery. I'm certainly going to try to.) I finished up my rads on October 10, 2009. What a glorious day that was. Somewhere, way back in this thread was a spirited account of it. Does your cancer center have an "all finished bell" (otherwise known as the "I'm outta here, suckahs, bell?")
The rads staff could form a victory tunnel for you to run through. I don't see why not.0 -
Dianarose, only you can decide the fate of the boyfriend of 7 years. Might be time to cut him loose, regardless of whether you get with this new man or not. I think you deserve to go out and have some fun, so maybe you can placate "head over heels guy" just keeping it casual for a while longer and decide if you want to take it to the next level. He wants to travel, but will your commitment to the bakery allow you to do that with him? We must hear from Meece on this...she started dating her now-husband not too long after getting her Dx.0 -
Thanks everyone for the congrats...
Eli... you have to hang around for the October B'Days, mine is the 19th, I'm not sure when Barsco's is and we also have Sweetest Day on the 19th too. I'll put a bug in the Dr's ear to let him know that you have much more life worth living...
Dianarose...I think you should see more of the man you knew for 25 years, he sounds willing to take this BC journey with you, good or bad. Old boyfriend, I don't think that is who you need to be with, he's not too supportive. Have fun, enjoy life with who ever makes you happiest.(you asked!)
Cakes... welcome, we share the good, the bad and the ugly, glad you joined are group.0 -
Dianarose, this is just my humble opinion: You are alive, you are entitled to live that life to the best & most full that you can. If there is a gentleman that is head over heels for you, it doesn't really complicate the picture; it gives you companionship, someone to do fun things with after the bakery closes & just share life with, no matter how little or long that life has left. You have the ability to set your boundaries & rules, but geez girl!! Have some fun! He has told you he wants to become the dream to set that nightmare spinning on it's axis-I would go for it!
That's just me though!0 -
Eli - No bell at my rads center but I will be cranking the tunes all the way home. I will pray your surgery is successful and you heal quickly.
Sage advice you ladies give.0 -
Dianarose - I am sorry that BF of 7 years seems to be making himself scarce amid all of your turmoil. I think that I will have to concur with the others in that you should be enjoying life, doing whatever it is that makes YOU happy. Nothing has to be set in stone right now. Go out, have fun, and see what follows. You deserve some happiness, some fun and companionship from someone that will be there for you and that you want to be there for in return.0 -
I like how you ladies think. I want to have fun for a change. He makes me laugh. The old boyfriend makes me cry.
Eli- what would you like me to bring to your pocket party. Pumkin nut roll with a cream cheese filling was popular today. Is it too early for spiked egg nog???0 -
How come my posts have no paragraphs????0
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Not sure that I have welcomed cakes yet. Glad to have you aboard. We are wonderful, we are wacky and we are even sometimes weird. But you may never meet another group of gals that will be here to support, encourage and listen whenever needed.
By the way - mac is right - morals only come about once a year in the spring time. So if anyone is running low, you will need to ration them to get you through the next few months.0 -
I have found that with being diagnosed and treated for breast cancer that I lost friends and family as they are unable to cope/handle having someone around with the diagnosis of cancer. I feel bad for them, but that's it and I have moved on.0 -
been off line for a long time.....and it's hard to keep up with this thread.....but glad you are finished with the chemo Eli. I'm happy you'll get your surgery on the 17th. I've had two separate opinions on a pancreatic cyst found on my last MRI....followed up with an endoscopic ultrasound. Good news is no cancer cells found, bad news is that it's "pre-cancerous" and both surgeons are recommending pancreatic resection and removal of the spleen. I can't get my head around it yet. No connection to the breast cancer....just bad luck I guess. I have to decide wether to have the surgery or not, but sounds like its inevitable. I'm such a wimp.....0 -
blackcat, welcome! It's when the rubber meets the road that we find who will hang with us or not. That's all we can do really is move on.
I did have a chat today with a dear niece (adult) of a friend of mine, that crying the whole time while visiting is not helping. Save the crying for later. We are here still!!!!!!
chacha, I don't think you are a wimp by any means! Look what you have all ready been thru. Anyone after having multi surgeries would pause before jumping into another one. I have a friend that keeps telling me that the docs are really looking out for me, by checking and making me come back for scans, biopsies and stuff. Is there a big rush to get this done? Can you give yourself some time to "get use" to the idea? We will be right here for you even if it is not related to bc, we don't care about what kind or where, we just care about you!0 -
Well, I can see that I still do not have my toolbar at the top of this Reply Box. And I'm sure I still won't have paragraphs. I'll mark my paragraphs to check after this has posted. I guess the techs are still working on things....
>>Welcome, Cakes!
>>Loral ~ Congrats on your one year anniversary! I remember well how that felt.... Wishing you many, many more.
>>Dianarose ~ I say: GO FOR THE GUSTO!!
>>Boy, I sure do miss that toolbar. Can't do anything "special". Crappy!
>>Hey Chacha! So wonderful to see you again! I'm so sorry you have a fork in the road to cause hesitation again. We're here for you, always. ♥0 -
Dianarose - You have received some very sage advice. You are lucky to have good friends on this thread that care about you. Remember, take care of you first. Fun is GOOD!0 -
Guess I should consider myself lucky to have a toolbar then. I just can't center photos like I used to.
Welcome, blackcat2012!
chach, Everyone is good at something...You and I are, apparently, good at growing disturbing cancer-y things. Hard to be proud of THAT, right? I don't know which is the worse, getting some pancreas hacked off or losing an entire spleen. They say the spleen is a somewhat vestigial organ, but I have always wondered if it does something small and secretive for us. From my point of view, you are lucky that you are in the PRE-cancerous phase, and can take care of it before it develops into something mega-evil (like pancreatic cancer, one of the worst!) Even tho' it is not B/C, you know everyone here will be supportive as you go thru' this new ordeal. I am so sorry that you have had to return to procedure world. No matter how positive we can be, honestly it is a bummer!
mac, My best friend (the one I just visited,) the one who didn't call me once during rads (she's been forgiven,) got blubbery and cryish the first time we talked about my B/C on the phone. I had barely cried about it, and she was breaking down. When she got her own B/C, then she barely cried about it. I knew better than to make it about MY feelings. I don't know what the deal is...maybe the less knowledge they actually have of cancer and what needs to be done, the more they invent horrors in their heads.
It is normal to get depressed over a cancer Dx, but at some point a person just has to DEAL with it. If this is an impossibility, then it is time to get some professional support (counseling) and/or drugs. Being depressed DOESN'T HELP. It does not feel good. It takes even more from your life. There is no shame in asking for help to deal with depression. Just don't get addicted to the drugs. Rehab is no fun either.
That last bit was just a public service announcement.0 -
Man I love you all. Too many posts to comment on! Welcome to a couple newbies. I hope you handle your addiction to this site okay
Eli, Oct 17 is my 'feast day' (any Catholics out there?) and I always have something good happen that day. I'm doing good here, so I hereby bequeath my something good to you.
Diana, I beg you, have fun!!! I also beg you to start mail order! Drooling here for a good pumpkin/cheese roll
Loral, congrats. Hope that view in the rear view mirror keeps getting farther away.
Chacha, good to see you hon. Hugs and prayers, keep us posted.0 -
thanks for the support ladies! When I asked about time, I was told it's not urgent.....but don't wait too long. Then the OS said (his youthful lack of tact evident), look what happened to Steve Jobs".....geez!
I think I'll plan on December and use the time between now and then to educate myself and hopefully get to a point of confidence.0 -
marlegal - I agree that the mail order service from Queen of Tarts would be fantastic. We have a few good bakeries around, but none of them are run by the Queen.
chacha - I hope that young whipper snapper will soon realize that he needs to stop short on some of his advice. Sounds like you have a good plan in place for getting the info you need. Good luck - remember we will all be with you!0 -
Hi all , I turned 40 this past August I was dx at 38 just when I was turning 39 its been a hard past year. I have one more surgery to go this xtmas and I am looking forward to it. I cant stand my TE any longer lol Are any of you in Ontario Canada? I live in Mississauga, Ont I will love to meet people around my age that can relate to what I am going through. Feel free to contact me
I love to read all your post , wish I saw this site sooner0 -
Hi Enerva - Welcome to the middies thread (although sorry for the reason you are here). We like to have fun here, but are always quick to come to the aid of anyone needing a hand to hold, an ear to listen or a pocket party to attend. I hope you come back again so that we can get to know you better.
P.S. - I am from ON also - a bit farther North than you though. There is also a Canadian thread that you might want to check out. http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/55/topic/700016?page=468#idx_140210 -
Hi everyone, rough week for me it's been 3 weeks, today since my surgery and was doing pretty good until I had to go back to work full time this week, It really SUCKS being self employed sometimes. My help keeps calling in and of course I had to be there. I run an in home daycare and have been opening and helping close since day three. Started preschool back up after one week but this week because the help had issues I've been working the whole week, I'm sore and tired and CRABBY! Sorry guys but I just needed to vent. The help and some of the parents just don't understand!
So much has been going on here that I hope I don't forget anyone.
El I will be with you on the 17th just like you were there for me. YOU WILL WAKE UP ......are you listening to me? I will poke you and bug you until you do!!!!! What would you like me to bring for the pocket party??? Your choice? (where are those smiley's at) As you were already told you started this site and we need you!
Welcome blackcat and Enerva these ladies are the best and have so much spunk, humor and kindness, embrace it!
Macatacmy.....I am putting my best foot forward with the help of some very good friends and all of you!
Dianarose I think you need to follow your heart, only you can decide what is best for you, and if the new guy wants to take you into his heart , well I say run to him and don't look back. Be happy!
Love and (((HUGS))) to all............0 -
I wanted to ask this as a new topic but never can figure out how to post. Anyway, I am post one year and a few months now and still struggling to get my Vit. D levels to stay up. I stopped taking my 6k per day and never did get above 27 but since it was summer I decided to see if the sun was enough and dropped back down to 20. I am back on 10K per day of liquid drops of D3 but it just seems my body won't keep up. I am not sure if I will ever see 50...let alone more for my number. Anyone else struggle with Vitamin D levels?0 -
Kd6, I really don't follow my VitD levels, sorry ... welcome to this site though and hang around if you want to have fun and share life's little idiosyncrasies. Right now they are saying Vit D is a good thing. Last year it might have been something else and next year, who knows what it might be. Sorry, but I've seen too many women who lived a totally clean healthy lifestyle get BC for me to worry about lifestyle choices.0 -
KD- I also struggle with Vitamin D- I did raise it up a little bit but barely above normal by taking 2000 MCG a day Vitamin D tablet. I have been trying to raise mine now for about a year. Odd thing is my GP was never concerned and I had to ask him if I could be tested. I felt much better after getting the level up to normal- even if its low normal.0 -
Hi everyone. Just wanted to stop in and say hello. I am now a six year survivor. Yahoo. Was diagnosed at 46 and am now 52. What a journey breast cancer has taken me on: biopsies, mastectomy with TE reconstruction, chemotherapy, tamoxifen, uterine hyperplasia, total hysterectomy, arimidex, and a scar recision surgery scheduled for December. While this has definitely been a physical battle, it has also been an emotional one. Nonetheless, I am happy and healthy today! HUGS to you all!0 -
Kd6blk--it can take some time and some large doses of Vit D to get your levels up. Are you taking Vit D3 or Vit D2? One form usually works better than the other, but I can't remember off the top of my head which is which.0 -
So many newbies to welcome - A big shout out to Kd6blk, Ndgrrl and Gillkath. We are glad to have you here so that you can benefit from the support, encouragement and comaraderie that is overflowing on this thread.0 -
I take D3, which is the right one. Liquid drops seem to work better, but always a struggle. Just wondered if others found success somehow.0 -
Kat and others, What kind of (virtual) noshing would I like to do at my pocket party? Nothing too fancy...just some finger sandwiches (watercress is my favorite) and maybe some goat cheese and pear tartlets (which should be right up D-rose's alley.) Maybe some Jello 1-2-3 for dessert, if you have any that you have been storing down in your nuclear holocaust shelters these past 40 years. See, I'm easy.
Kd6blk, My MO didn't even order the right Vit. D test for me the first time around and then he didn't even know how to interpret the results when I asked for and got the correct one. Anyway, I was never low, low with my D, just low normal, and I supplemented with 2K gelcaps (5K in Winter) and got into the 60's. I did not encounter difficulty raising it. It does sound like you have an absorption problem with it, or something. I wonder if a nutritionist could guide you. As with all the pseudo-science fields, try to get recommendations from people you know if you do choose to go to one. Like Native said, it can be a long, slow process to build up the D, so definitely supplement thru' the Winter. I always liked to get tested in early Spring myself, but I think so long as you test at the same time of year each time, you can get a pretty good reading for comparison.
Welcome to Enerva; and thanks for stopping by Gillkath (you forgot to mention mental battle, as well.) Good Luck with the revision surgery. I have one scar I am not happy with. Will insurance cover scar revision for ANY surgery, or does it have to be breast? Is there any statute of limitation, timewise, for having it done? I am giving my scar a chance to beautify itself, but I am afraid it will always look like an indent (you know, like from a knife fight. On second thought, maybe I should just leave that.)0
