MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
Comments
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Editing my prior post a bit now that I re-read it. Lifestyle choices are important for lots of reasons. We should all eat a balanced diet and take care of ourselves. My problem is with people who feel that somehow not following a proper course caused their cancer. As I said, I know many, many women who did everything right their whole lives and still developed breast cancer. Should they abandon a healthy lifestyle? Of course not. I didn't mean to imply that at all. I think when I wrote that post I had just finished reading an email from my 38 year old cousin with 3 young children who is currently in treatment. She falls into that category and is so scared and confused, saying "What did I do wrong?" So that's where my head was. Please do all you can to get and stay healthy
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Marlegal I forgot to tell you I am also a Catholic.
I also know people who have lived as healthy as possible, ran, worked out daily ate all the right foods and still ended up with cancer. I'm not sure how cancer chooses which person to attack but it's not fair. What about the babies born with cancer, their mother is fine but at birth the baby has cancer. That's a tough one to explain to me.0 -
Marl, I get where you're coming from. But sometimes the remarks people make are harsh. I was at my chiropractor yesterday. I brought up my friend who is stage 4 and she said oh that won't happen to you, you take care of yourself. That, to me, implied that 1 she did something wrong and 2 if I slip up something will happen to me. I have learned to let this stuff slip off my back. But it all feels a little too personal. ((?))
E, yeah the tough look! I sometimes think about what a medical examiner would say about my body while doing an autopsy. I don't think about it a lot, but it has crossed my mind.
My d levels are low and am taking 2000 D3, but haven't had a follow-up test to see if anything's changed. Oh well.0 -
I have found that cancer is the only disease that does not have boundaries as it can affect everyone. It does not discriminate. It affects the young, old, wealthy, poor. It affects every race, culture, religion, male or female.0 -
Hi Elimar: The scar on my reconstructed breast has sunken in somewhat. I no longer fill out my bra, and you can see the indentation through my clothes. I have a silicone implant and my surgeon is going to look while she is in there to make sure it is still intact. Then she is going to hopefully fix the indentation. it has been 6 years since my original surgery, and my insurance company is going to cover it. I never did the nipple, so I don't have to worry about messing that up.0 -
One of my pet peeves is the unspoken thought that I got breast cancer because I am overweight or didn't exercise enough, or ate the wrong diet. If science cannot truly say how cancer happens and why (if they knew that it would be cured) then how can they know that exercise, drinking, diet, weight or anything else is the cause? Don't blame ME for something YOU can't explain, is my response. Still makes me mad.0 -
Native, We do know that body fat produces some of its own estrogen, so maybe that is part of the thinking behind diet and exercise BUT, and please read that as a very large BUT, I have always wondered just how well these so-called risk reducers stack up against the pro-risk factors that we don't even know about (or know about but can't really quantify.)
Example: I am not overweight, but did have first child after the age of 30, so does that put me in the plus or minus column? Apparently, the minus column, but I can only guess at the MANY reasons why I ended up there. I have few of the known risk factors, but do have a feeling that there is some unknown as to why I am quite good at growing the stuff. So, I do agree with you that it is probably pointless to harp on one or two things or throw the blame around, when there could (and probably are) be a dozen unknown factors at work.
They don't have cancer down to actuary science yet, and I sure do resent the article that tell us one thing one year and reverse it the next. It is bad enough to have B/C, but to have B/C and guilt? No thanks.0 -
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I had my kids, three of them before 27...breast fed them for a year. Ate well...used to be thinner...so who knows why we get anything...it is luck of the cards...I have seen folks get results from certain diets but not sure I could adhear to those diets.0 -
I have no kids, I'm not overweight, but I used birth control pills for decades, I smoked and drank quite a bit, I used deodorant that had aluminum in it, I've ate and cooked with the plastic having BPA, I breathe the air that has diesel fumes in it, so does it really matter what the cause of cancer is, what we need is a CURE, spend the money on that....0 -
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Native, I'm right there with you hon0 -
Loral and Eli, love your last posts too0 -
Loral and Eli- I too had my babies after age 30, have kept a slim profile, eaten healthfully for the most part and used birth control for many years. The fact that we can all rattle off our lifestyle choices that would support cancer-inducing or cancer-free living tells me we have all thought about where we may have gone wrong. I think it's natural to do that in the beginning, but after weeks or months of wracking my brain I just say "FUCK IT!" We all go, one way or another. We just hope not too soon.
I just caught up with past posts, and would like to congratulate Diana Rose for being open to, and up for, a relationship that sounds like it will "feed you" rather than one "sucking" from you! It's sometimes hard, sad, painful to move on, but you deserve to enjoy life. And with a new bakery and its obligations, your free time much be very precious! Sounds like you are spending it wisely!
Eli- YAY! The 17th is coming up fast. Congrats!0 -
Yes, staynsane, I think we all looked over the list of risk factors, and matched ourselves up to it. The thing is, some people have but ONE risk factor and get B/C, while others have three or four (maybe all!) of the factors and don't get B/C. I'm kind of commenting on women my age, so they may yet get B/C in their lifetimes but in a side by side comparison with me, they seemed to have avoided it thus far, risk factors or not.
It seems that each week we read some new B/C "breakthrough" but I think we are still a long way from understanding why it strikes some of us, while others get a pass.0 -
File this in the I DON'T NEED IT Dept.:
We have a leaky shower. My husband is moderately handy, but when the H/C valve thingy inside the pipe was rusted onto the pipe so that he could not get it out, we had a plumber here over the weekend. After FIVE hours, it was not even fixed and my husband basically paid the guy once just to discover that it was a bigger problem. So, now two plumbers are here wrecking the drywall in two closets to get at this pipe (that needs replacing) and because it is a Monday, my husband is at work and it got dumped on me. When I was alerted to the problem, my first words were, "I don't need anything else heaped onto my plate right now." Look how that turned out. Arrgh!0 -
HAHAHA! I just realized that I'm stressing about PLUMBING, when my bigger problem this past year has been MY OWN PLUMBING!!!! Need a laughing smiley icon right about now.
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Eli, I confess, it occurred to me as I read about your shower troubles. oh, AND you needed two plumbers to fix the problem
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Too bad they don't have a shower ROBOT. Worked for me.0 -
I hate plumbing problems. My DH thinks he can fix them and he too is pretty handy. Now electrical he usually gets the pros. Hope DH puts drywall back in order for you post haste or at least has a handy piece of plywood and puts contents back in.
I had 2 plumbers come to replace 2 toilets and a water heater. I think one was an apprentice though; he got the toilets. Flat rate for job.0 -
The "two hour" job took four hours...don't even ask about cost because it seemed enormously high to me, but people always complain about plumbers charging a lot, so it is probably just the going rate. The good news is that they replaced the drywall already (which is easy and I guess I paid plumber's rates for that also) but it is DONE. That is the important part. I want to RELAX for the next couple days, not launch into extra activities. The other good news is, since they took so long, my DH came home for his lunch hour and he finished up with them.
I know you are not all like me, but I just don't even want strangers in the house right now. Don't want to hear pounding, etc. Don't want to take on new problems (until I get this old one taken care of.) So when I say I am just amazed but what some of you all do while in cancer treatment, I am not kidding.0 -
Elimar - I wouldn't want what you went thru with your plumbing on my best day much less 3 days b4 surgery. Nominate you for Saint Elimar. Put your feet up, get a cup of tea and zone out. Yay for DH coming home to supervise. I made sure DH was home for the toilet jobs and water heater dysfunction came on his day off. I did a kitchen remodel 10 years ago and he was home for almost none of it. Also did a garage addition and turning old garage into den again while he was an hour away; that was 15 years ago. Easier done today with DSL/pictures/cameras. Not so much then and we had slow as molasses net connection.
You know the more I think about your 4 hours for ripping out 2 walls, fixing plumbing and repairing walls that sounds about right for time. I think plumbing bills are the worst 'cause usually there is no way around getting it fixed. And DH is terrible at est. cost for them. Car repairs he is usually spot on.0 -
Well here's to plumbers, both human kind & porcelain bowl/shower pipe kind. They are needed unless we want an outhouse & camping shower, or want to have our insides in disrepair. Just wish both kinds weren't so damn expensive!0 -
Eli - glad everything is back together again. Now you can relax, have some "me" time and concentrate on getting yourself back together.0 -
Thanks for reminding me, Eph...the OTHER good news is I DIDN'T have to see any actual butt crack!
Luv, On Sat. the guy estimated today's work at two hours, and today it was two guys working instead of just one, so I just did not think it would be that long. On Sat., it took five hours (and two broken tools) and nothing even got fixed. This was a total of NINE HOURS of plumbing. For one pipe/faucet fixture. I noticed I got an ugly faucet/shower head set in there now. If my mind had been on this mess, there is no way I would have let a plumber just pick any old ugly thing to put in my shower but, as I said, I could not mentally engage in this project. Oh well. Sorry for going on about this, it's just been stressful in a bad timing kind of way.0 -
A broken dish would be enough to set me off. ((((BIG HUGS))))0 -
It's not too late in the day for all the feasting to be over, so it is not too late to say...
to all the Canadian Middies out there. I know we have a lot of Ontarians on the thread. (Is that even the right name, Ontarians?) Have a peaceful & delicious holiday.
I think most of this country has phased out Columbus Day (also today) for the most part, but if it got you the day off work who cares if he showed up hundreds of years after the Vikings.
We really do need a good Viking holiday, dont we?0 -
The woman at Lowes cut my shades wrong. I sat down and had a major melt down. Good thing it wasn't the plumbing.
I think you ladies are on to something.I got my first mail order today. I will over night it to NY and then it's going to Australia. Two dozen Moose cookies (3 kinds of chocolate, sugar, butter, and very little flour) and 1 dozen lemon bars.
I am so excited. I made the appointment to get my nipple tattoo's. The guy is booked so I can't get them until 11/22. My brother wants to pay for them for an early Christmas gift. He said how often does a brother get to buy nipples for his sister. He is a great brother.
Welcome to all of the new gals. Sorry you are here, but this is the best place to be for love, support, laughs, and cowboy eye candy.0 -
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Eli...My brother's a plumber..............0
