MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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jbokland ROLFLMAO!!!
That's actually me LOL
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LOL!!!0 -
Too funny!
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"kathec, note how small our social skillset is up in the header! "too funny macatacmy!!!!
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jbokland ROLFLMAO!!! ditto
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Hi buddies
Finally got to read a couple pages of recent things. Glad to see things going well for so many of you.Meeting others through bco - I met a few local gals from the chat rooms (that's where I spent most of my time after dx...hadn't found the Boards at that point) and we did the non-stop talk like we knew each other forever thing! We go to lunch or dinner at least once a year. Then 2 yrs after dx 27 of us, most of whom never met before, went to Vegas for 4 days. It was one of the best trips I ever took in my life. I've since been to FL twice and Virginia once with bco women, and last year joined up with the TaTas Vegas group from the Boards, about 30 of them. Going again 9/25-9/29 with them to Vegas this year. It was like meeting 30 friends/family. I've been looking forward to this year's trip since I got home last year!
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Jbokland- Love the friendship ad! About six months ago I saw an ad on TV for "Farmers Only," a dating site for more rural dwellers. I thought the ad was hugely comical, but told my husband in passing that it would be a good one for my hermit brother to check out, since he and his girlfriend had just broken up. He lives on 5 acres in a very small town (podunk comes to mind), has horses and his own business, and prefers to stay there. Update: he has been dating a women he met through FO!
Eli- Didn't mean to detract from your happiness about a clear MRI, and I apologize. Just sharing my experience. Your experience with them and awareness about their flaws trumps mine (it was my first and only). You provide a wealth of info about a lot of procedures that I hope I never have to endure.
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Hello Everyone,
This is my first post ever on any discussion board. A friend recently told me about this site and I thought I would check it out. My journey officially began on December 22nd, 2013 when I went for a routine mam. Got a call on January 3rd to go back for a second which I did on January 24th, 2014. Got a call a week later and scheduled my appointment with breast surgeon. Went for ultra-sound and biopsy and was diagnosed on Valentine's Day with breast cancer. Estrogen+ Progesterone- Her2- +1.
Originally scheduled for left lumpectomy, radiation and hormone drug therapy. That plan quickly changed after the MRI when my surgeon told me that she was not comfortable with margins and how my breast would look after the surgery. After weighing the pros and cons I decided to not take any chances and went for the mastectomy. Had the surgery in April along with sentinel node dissection. The results on the nodes during surgery were negative so the plastic surgeon started the reconstruction process and inserted the expander. Got a call a week later from my BS and the final pathology indicated 1 out of the two nodes were positive. Back to surgery in May to remove the rest of the nodes left side (total of 6 more) and all were negative. Since I had one positive node, I was now faced with having to go through chemotherapy which I was hoping would not happen. I was devastated as you can well imagine. I remember how numb I felt after meeting with the oncologist and oncologist nurse to discuss the treatment protocol and all the side effects -- everything that I had to consider (4 A/C followed by 4 Taxol). I also remember telling my husband upon leaving the facility that I did not belong there. This was not happening to me. We were both depressed at that moment.
I was out of work for a total of six weeks during the surgery process and went back end of May. I have a demanding job and I travel 3-4 days a week. Started chemo on June 4th. Lost hair after 1st treatment and just before 2nd treatment. That was difficult. Only wear wig at work as I cannot stand having it on my head! Finished A/C and had my first Taxol treatment a week ago. I am still working a full schedule and traveling except for the day of chemo. It is getting harder and harder with each treatment. I feel grateful that my side effects have not been severe, (had nausea and fatigue with A/C) and after my first Taxol have had significant pain in lower extremities and praying that does not continue through next 3 treatments. I still have to finish reconstruction hopefully before year end and I will go on hormone therapy for 5 years so I continue to be a work in progress. Still scared, nervous and wondering how I will feel when this is all behind me. I am turning 58 next week. Thanks for listening and feel free to offer any advice since I am new to this whole sharing concept.
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Dallas, welcome and glad you joined us. I am impressed that you have been able to stick to a normal work schedule through chemo. Did you discuss the post-taxol pain with your onc? I had something similar with taxotere, and for the next treatment they gave me steroids for a day longer, which really helped.
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Thanks, Momine -- I have my next treatment next Friday and plan to discuss the pain with Onc then. It lasted for several days and I am just now feeling better. I have a high tolerance to pain and it was beyond what I could take. I'll take all the advice I can get at this point. Took me 6 months to come to full acceptance which I now think was totally crazy. Only now feel comfortable talking about what I am going through. Hoping I am not the only one who has traveled this path.
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Dallas, you are certainly NOT alone! To this day it sometimes gives me goosebumps that I have breast cancer. CANCER!! That does happen to other people - not me. But I never wondered WHY me. I just felt I took one for the team, meaning that if I got it, that meant some lucky other lady didn`t. Maybe one of those ladies are even my daughters or daughter-in-law!
I, too, am impressed you have kept working. I hope you are treating yourself to something special often enough to feel you are off-setting some of the nastiness going on. I used to get a new piece of jewellery after biopsies and such, but they became so common that we stopped that!
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Welcome, DallasCF, to BCO and to this thread of your peers not only in disease but in age! You will find plenty of understanding here. It sounds like you are doing well, all things considered. The chemo has a tendency to build. If you feel just drained of energy by the end of the chemo, that is about par for the course and I hope you can take time off if needed. How big was your tumor, btw?
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ok, Dallas, you are already my hero! How the heck did you work through that?!? I guess i am a bigger baby than i think. Amazing. we are glad you finally showed up here! Sorry that you had to have more nodes dragged out, too. Are you getting neupogen or neulasta shot the day after chemo? if you are, a woman i know that went thru it, told me claritin the day of that shot, and for several days after, would really help. it really did, and they don't know why, but you could try, or run it by your onc, too. sorry you are here, but welcome, and you will meet some very inspiring strong and funny women here, and not feel so alone with it too.
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Wow, Dallas,, you kept working thru all of that??? You are amazing!Welcome to the party over here. (the club you never wanted to join) But we are a fun bunch. Ask away. Any question/problem you have,,, I'm sure you will find someone on here who has been there and has advice.
glennie
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marlegal - that sounds like fun! How does one access that and become a member of the "Tata group"?
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I almost went to Vegas with the TaTa group because I followed a bco friend to the thread and then realized it was under a Reconstruction topic! I would have been the only one there without breasts!!!
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Oh Barbe!! We need a flat sisters reunion.0 -
Welcome, Dallas to the club no one wants to belong to. You have been through a lot, and my thoughts are with you, you have found a great group of ladies here, who will cheer you on and give you great advice. Stephanie
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Thanks Barbe! I am grateful that my friend told me about this site. I should have reached out months ago, but I guess I was not ready. I can already tell that there are many women on this site who understand and are ready to support another "sister." It can be such a lonely journey - even with the support of family and friends. No one can really know what this is like unless you have gone through it. I guess I would ask the question if most/many women don't work during this process? Believe me, it is not easy and I hope that I will be able to continue with my schedule.
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Thank you all for the warm welcome and the nice messages! I will have more questions and will reach out when I do. One of the things that I have had a hard time getting my head around is that it will take the better part of this year before I am done with everything I need to do for surgery and treatment. Then of course the worry of whether it will come back. I try to stay positive everyday, but man, some days it is really hard. Do any of you feel that way? I have never asked the question why me either -- in fact, I've said, "why not me.? This disease does not discriminate for sure. Someone had asked how big my tumor was - I believe it was 1.8 cm.
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Hi Dallas, I worked through all of my treatments, the first time and I did fine, with only a week off for surgery and a few days off here and there. My employer was understanding and it all worked out well, It was nice to have someplace to go every day and coworkers to talk to that were supportive. That was 13 years ago though, this time I am retired, and am undergoing rads right now, the fatigue is much greater now and am glad I don't have to go to work every day now, but I do miss the support and diversion. I did not have to travel, like you do. Work as you can, and I hope your employer will give you some leeway, if you need some days off. Best of luck, Stephanie
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I still work full-time, BUT I'm not going thru chemo or rads either. I just took time off to recuperate from the surgery. Plus I work from home, doing computer order-entry. So it's pretty peaceful, and there's no traveling. I don't know how you do what you do. You have WAY more energy than I do.If you do find yourself getting tired,, you are NOT wimping out by cutting back at work. Take whatever time you need,, and that your company will allow. This is a stressful, exhausting process!
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and yes, it is hard to stay positive and not worry that it will come back. I would venture to say that the majority of us feel that way.For me, the biggest struggle has been developing lymphedema and having to deal with managing it. Health professionals don't really know lots about it, and the advice/care you get varies greatly.I really believe I have received more help from this community than from my local people. And it has been very hard to stay positive dealing with it. I have a lot of anger about developing it. More anger about it,, than my cancer.
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DallasCF, Has your oncologist ever shown you something called Adjuvant Online? It is a program where some specifics from your Dx is entered, and then it gives some percentages on how much benefit you will get from the chemo and hormonal therapies (not sure about Herceptin for HER2.) This might be something to check out. What I mean is because you are ER+, you will be getting some form of anti-hormonal drug; because you are HER2+, you will be getting Herceptin...so, how much more benefit will you get on top of that?
For all the HER2+ ladies: Mustyou always get some kind of chemo before doing the Herceptin????
I used to have more general knowledge about HER2, but I've let some of it slip away. That feels wonderful. It might be a case of chemo brain, but I actually feel more normal if I forget a cancer fact or three.
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herceptin and chemo work better together. i don't think i have ever heard of herceptin only, 'cept after chemo.
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Dallas, you do NOT have to stay positive! Others will expect that from you so that THEY feel better. We do not expect that and that is why we are all here. We need a place to say we are afraid of the future, scared of dying..where no one will say to us òh it will all be okay` like, how do THEY know!!! So let your hair down here and bitch and moan and know that we have heard it all and you don`t have to be hero here. You belong here.
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Welcome Dallas - sucks that you have to be here for sure, but as you can already see there is tremendous support, encouragement and information to be found. Lots of wonderful women to share experiences, listen when you need, help you through the tough times and help you celebrate the good times.
We have pocket parties where we all jump into your pocket whenever you are going for a scan, procedure, chemo, dr. appt or whatever so that you are never alone. All you need to do is let us know when you need us (wear something with big pockets) and we'll be there!
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One of the things that was mentioned was that people do expect you to be positive all the time -- that it is going to be ok. I remember in the first few months after diagnosis when I would be talking to a friend, family member or work associate, and they would say things like, "oh you probably won't lose your hair - not everyone loses their hair," or "I know a bunch of people who have been through breast cancer and they are all fine now." I was going through my anger stage at the time (that actually really lasted for several months which amazed me) and I wanted to go through the phone and slap them up side the head (maybe even slap them bald!). I also wanted to say, "I am going to lose my hair because that is what happens when you have breast cancer and you have to get A/C & T injected in your system!" Then after I would feel guilty and think why am I letting people make me feel guilty? I got to the point for a while where I didn't want to talk to anyone, including my husband. My family and close friends are 3 hours away so seeing them on a regular basis right now is not possible.
What I have wanted to tell everyone is simply this - why don't you care enough to go and do some research to understand exactly what I am dealing with? People do not want to really know and I am convinced of that. When they ask how are you -- they want to hear I am doing great. So just listen to how I am rambling on ladies - I am talking up a storm. This is the most I have talked about my cancer in months. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And BTW - my next Taxol treatment is Friday, August 15th at 9:00 a.m. I will go in a ball cap as I have done since losing my hair, and I will wear big pockets for sure. I will feel comfortable that no one is staring at me and wondering why I am bald. That, in itself, is such a great feeling.
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I think most people just don't want to hear the real truth. After all, if it happened to you, GASP, it could happen to them. And they surely don't want to take a walk in your shoes.
I've had fibromyalgia for 20+ years now. And I've learned with a chronic disease, especially an invisible one, most people don't really want to know how you are doing. They will ask: and my favorite answer is: do you want the truth or a good lie? Most people really want the lie although they won't say it. These days I generally respond: I'm hanging in there.
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I was a candidate for a heceptin trial I think because my Her2 was negative +1. It would have been another almost year of treatment and they could not guarantee that I would actually get the drug. Would have been put into a pool of names and randomly chosen. I chose not to participate due to my schedule, etc. I will be starting Arimidex 6 weeks after my last treatment. My Onc. did talk to me about percentages so I am wondering if he based all of that on the test you are referring to. He said if I do nothing else beside the surgery - 50% chance of recurrence or spread. Just taking the drug would be 30% and taking the drug and chemo brought it down to 22%. I thought it odd that adding the chemo would only give me an extra 8%, but those were the odds given to me. I will follow up with him this week when I have my chemo and ask about the test.
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