MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish
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Hi ladies. I went for my annual mammo yesterday. Had a very poignant moment. I was able to comfort another woman who was losing it. Here's what happened.
We found ourselves in a hallway between two dressing rooms in the spa-like setup at the imaging center- I in street clothes leaving, she in a bathrobe looking for a room before her procedure. There was some confusion as to which dressing room Ms. Bathrobe should use and if there was an available wrist key etc. with another woman. Ms. Bathrobe spoke Spanish. So do I. We spoke in Spanish. I offered her my room. Being a repeat offender, I well knew the garment rankings of the "spa". If one is wearing a bathrobe vs. a maroon-pink tie garment, it meant one had graduated from mammo land and the potential journey into breast cancer world was beginning. Ms. Bathrobe looked like controlled panic. I asked her if she was having an ultra-sound? She replied she was having a biopsy. I told her I had had breast cancer. Tears started streaming down her face. I said "you have children don't you". She said yes. I smiled at her, and hugged her. She held onto to me so tightly and began sobbing. I asked her about the ages of her children. Her youngest was 13. When she stopped sobbing. I held her at arms distance, looked her in the eyes and told her that if I had known then what I know now, I would not have been so frightened. I told her that there are millions of us survivors. The clinic was a good one. The doctors there were great. I told her that in some ways my life was better now two years later than it was before breast cancer. I told her to go on Breastcancer.org. It was available in Spanish. They had discussion boards for women who hadn't yet been diagnosed but were scared. Then discussion boards for every possible phase of treatment. I told her how much breastcancer.org had helped me. I gave her my contact information if she ever needed it and asked her name. I clasped Maria's hands goodbye and she smiled. That exchange was one of those beautiful moments in life that post cancer mean so much more.
I was reminded how far I'd come and how my life had changed so much in even subtle ways in two years.
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Hi All!
Chiming in to let you know we are looking for your "stories of love for February.
Each and every person who encounters a diagnosis or illness spawns a collection of love stories around them. The stories come spontaneously from partners, parents, siblings, friends, nurses, doctors, community, Breastcancer.org members, peers, and even pets. Sometimes it happens organically and without notice.
We'd love to hear and feature your "love stories" in the month of February. Please share a story of love that enriched you, may have surprised you, made you feel stronger or supported during your breast cancer experience.
Please email us at community@breastcancer.org or PM the Moderators, and don't forget to include a good quality photograph that best represents you or your story. We will be posting the stories here:
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Deborah, Beautiful!
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Lovely Deborah!
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Beautiful, Deborah. Glad you were able to comfort her. It is so frightening in the beginning.
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Deborah2012, I LOVE your story. I really do think it helps to be reminded that SO MANY of us (unfortunately) are affected. When you get that Dx, you enter into your own little world of fright, dread and apprehensive anxiety. When another reaches out to you, and pulls you out of that Dx isolation bubble, it really can give you the strength to FACE what comes next. After all, so many women before you have done it! You done good!!!
Watch out, mac, NM, & MinusTwo, even thinking about cancer might cause cancer. Nowadays, I try hard not to do that.
Tomboy, Are you sure about that drop in activity level? Sure that it is not 80% or 78%? Girl, you crack me up!
My BC thought for the day (because I haven't ever checked this out)... We know animals can get cancer, but which ones get BC? Is it all mammals because of the mammary factor, or just some certain ones, like apes? You can tell I was listening when I was told that "no question is too dumb," can't you?
Some of you are good with the stories, so when the Mods come pandering for "love stories," don't be shy if you have one. I don't really have any. I mean I do LOVE my doctor and the ROBOT that took the cancer (not BC, the other one) out of my body and SAVED MY LIFE. My doctor is not my type, but I would have sex with that robot in a quick robotic nanosecond! Do you think that's what the Mods are looking for? No, I guess not. You might think that is a crazy, new-fangled idea, but no, it's been around along time. People just don't talk about it.
(Pic courtesy of the GBLR Alliance.)0 -
eli, ahhaaaahhhaahahahahahahah!
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Danger, Danger, Will(a) Robinson!!!!
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Eli, I know that dogs are very prone to breast cancer, more prone than humans even. It is one of the reasons that sterilization is recommended, because it protects the dog against mammary cancer.
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Ladies, checking in here is like getting a warm hug whenever I do it! Need to be more regular...
I had an experience very much like Deborah's during my mammo last August. I saw the grief and panic in another woman's eyes and actions (she was waiting for the dreaded biopsy after a suspicious mammo) and was able to help her relax, if only a little bit. The power of reaching out to total strangers can have amazing results, for both the reacher and the reachee.
I have a decision to make, and, while there is a lot of info on the subject available, I would like your opinions if you have switched from Tamoxifen to an AI. Six months ago my blood test revealed that I was no where close to menopause (estradiol level 250) but last month it was 3! So now, having been on Tamoxifen for 2 1/2 years, I can consider switching to Arimidex. I have had few and minor SEs from Tamox, and my onc suggests maybe I should stay on that. But my mom had/died from ovarian cancer, and since I fly for work I'm concerned about dvt. Arimidex is supposed to be better for those, as well as for preventing recurrence overall. But I've heard so much about joint pain it makes me wonder if I should just go with status quo. I tend not to suffer SEs from meds, and I think I might try switching (I can always go back, if desired) but wanted to see if you have insight that I haven't considered.
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I don't have your same situation at all SnS, but I think you answered your own question quite well ..."I tend not to suffer SEs from meds, and I think I might try switching (I can always go back, if desired)". Do that
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Staynsane, When you are in peri-menopause, your estradiol levels can fluctuate monthly, weekly, and some say daily (???) so that low level might have been a dip on the day of the blood draw. Don't be too quick to change. Act in haste, repent in leisure is the saying. Why not stay on Tamox. thru' May (your 3-year T-versary) and then have one more draw to check estradiol at that point. If low again, you could go to AI...and this gives you a few more months to ruminate on the decision.
I did Tamox. for 3 years (quit due to CRC & surgery/chemo for that.) Was peri-menopausal when I began, and 1 1/2 yrs. into menopause when I quit.. I chose not to resume with with either. (Keep in mind I am nearly your DX twin, and my doctor was o.k. with my choice.) Would not consider AI since I have family history of osteoporosis. Tamox., on the other hand, gives some protection against osteoporosis (like 4%!) while you are taking it, then when you go off supposedly the bone loss curve can be a little steeper.
Long story short, you're going to go for the "lesser of two evils" and good luck figuring it out!
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staynsane, from my experience I would recommend getting a DEXA bone scan before (when) you start Arimdex. I was not aware of the importance of monitoring my bone density while on an AI. I got my first DEXA years before dx. I was started out on Arimdex as I am a little older than most on this thread. After trying to take it for about a year, with what seemed to me a lot of se, I got a DEXA and my bones had deteriorated quite a bit, but because I hadn't had a scan right before taking it my MO wouldn't say that was the cause of my bone loss. She did switch me to tamoxifen, which I seem to be tolerating better.
I am constantly amazed by how doctors, try to treat a se with more drugs.
oh man, the lesser of two evils (that says it all)
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i am a bit concerned with my MO's plans to put me on AI. She seems to think it best for me even though I am premenopausal. She's going to give me shots to put me in menopause. Anyway, I had weight loss surgery 7 years ago and my body does not absorb nutrients like it should. I take mega doses of vitamin D and Calcium to give my body what it misses...Anyway...does anyone know any real advantage of taking AI over tamoxifin? I wonder if insurance pays for a bone scan. I have surgery this month and will start taking some hormone therapy... Thanks in advance.... Amy
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Justamy- I have read that AIs are ONLY for postmenopausal women, so it's curious that your MO is talking about putting you on that now, if you are premenopausal. They are supposed to offer a slight benefit in preventing cancer recurrence over Tamoxifen, and with fewer side effects. I am large-boned and osteoporosis doesn't run in my family, which seems to be the main complaint for AIs.
I appreciate the tips about getting a bone scan and possibly waiting a bit. I still have a couple of month's worth of Tamoxifen left and was planning to use that up before switching, if I'm gonna. At this point I think I will request a bone scan and have another blood test in a couple of months and switch if all looks good. If I have SEs, I'll switch back to Tamox. Thanks for helping me weigh factors to consider!
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SnS, The ovaries don't just flick the off switch, they kind of sputter before they go out for good.
justamy, Since your MO wants to make the switch, I'd ask HER why. I mean you could search around on the internet and ask us for info. and opinions (and get them!) but with your special health history, there may be some big picture factor that makes your MO want to move you in that direction. Check it out. I never feel like an idiot asking questions (idiotic ones, or otherwise) and I hang on like a pit bull til I understand the answers, so I'd say ask all the questions you need to, and don't let any stink-eye phase you. We need to understand what is being done to us!
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I second what elimar has to say. If physician stink eye is hard for you, get a friend or hubby to go with you to the appointment and have them ask the questions that are hard for you. Then you can second it, or just sit back and take in the information.
I go to a "teaching" University Med Center. My docs are excellent at answering my questions and giving complete explanations because there is always a resident there who is trying to learn. I think this has helped with the information flow.
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I love that expression, "physician stink-eye" - I'm going to remember that one!
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Tomboy--good point about HeLa cell vaporization and becoming part of our DNA!
MinusTwo--oh, my, how could I have missed such obvious causes of cancer as exercise and sleep!And sitting down, and standing up, and wearing clothing and peeing and pooping. . .
Debprah2012--I have tears in my eyes.What a wonderful interlude.
Elimar--my guess is that any animal with mammary tissue can get breast cancer.I had a dog with bc before I was diagnoses.I know people who have had cats with breast cancer.
Stansane--statistically, there is a very small difference in the effectiveness of the 2, with the AI s coming out ahead.BUT, statistics only apply to groups, and not to individuals.As a cancer survivor you and I are in a group of people with a higher risk of blood clots than people without a cancer history.There are many things that can be done to prevent blood clots during flight travel, ranging from getting and walking every hour or so, doing simple leg exercises while in your seat,to wearing compression stockings and drinking extra water the day of the flight.DVT risk seems to be more of a problem for long haul flights, defined as greater than 4 hours, so flights with stop overs may be better than direct flights.All of the research I am seeing on a quick review indicates the blood clot risk related to travel is not present to a very small risk, as in 1 case in 5,000 flights (think of how many people are on an average flight!)Ask your MO to go over the numbers as they apply to you regarding tammy vs an AI.One option is to try an AI for a month and see how it goes, you can always go back to the tammy.
From CDC site:http://wwwnc.cdc.gov/travel/yellowbook/2014/chapter-2-the-pre-travel-consultation/deep-vein-thrombosis-and-pulmonary-embolism
My personal 2 cents worth--you're doing well with the tammy, the benefit of changing isn't great, the likelihood of side effects higher, I'd stay on the tammy.
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StaynSane,, by the way, I do love how you drew the face on your beautiful hands. I just went to the ob/gyno onc today, apologized in advance for the lack of grooming. Once a year whether i like it or not. And i am on femara for a year now. was on tamox for six months before that, and before that, i was on arimidex for (eli will like this) 7 or 8 months. hate em all. but i think i want the estrogen back in my brain, so after i finish this bottle o femara, back to tamox for me. if i must. and they tell me i must. cause i would rather let them see my wild garden pussy than hurt this much.
Lupron is given to pre meno women who want to go on arimidex, or the take out your ovaries.
chemo is also bad for bones. i was pissed when i found that out after chemo, cause i would have insisted on a dexa bone scan first. Ai.s' pushed me into osteoporosis, so i have to do prolia. drugs hurt something? fix it with a different drug! within my skin, i am a veritable cocktail. cheers.
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Ladies, thanks for the continuing suggestions. I was away the last couple of days, so just checking back now.
Eli- My ovaries have been sputtering for awhile now; one was removed twenty years ago due to a massive benign cyst, but her partner stepped into overdrive. You burst my bubble of giddiness when you said they don't just flick off the switch. I've been waiting and waiting and thought for sure that an estradiol level of "3" (down from 250) surely meant menopause was official. I guess another test in a few months might confirm it.
Native- I travel coast-to-coast (although that may be changing in favor of shorter flights) and I've read that Tamoxifen can increase rates of dvt. That and increased rates of endometrial cancer is mostly why I'm considering Arimidex (especially since osteoporosis doesn't run in my family, but my mom died of ovarian cancer). Yes, rates of dvt are very low, but my odds of getting breast cancer were statistically only 13% (one in eight women) so I'm a bit sensitive to playing roulette, since my first game was a loser.
Tomboy- I wish I could claim the "beautiful hands" in my avatar, but I pirated the picture off the internet. I just liked how the kinda crazy picture suited my "is she crazy or not?" name!
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Staynsane--I understand how you feel about the statistical roulette game.I am also a big fan of reviewing all the data and then following your gut.You will know what is best for you, and when you do, move forward in that direction.Praying for you!
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love the new topper, eli.
busy watching football and paying bills.
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Yes, eli - great new topper! Hope everyone in the 40-60ish forum is doing well (and everyone else, too who is just passing through this forum)!
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Hi all. I've been doing OK. I'm almost 4 weeks post chemo and feeling better every day. Surgery is still ahead(Feb 3) so I'm enjoying it while I can. I went to PS today and found out that they do the tattooing and nipple reconstruction as a routine part of breast Reconstruction so I'll get nipples before this whole thing is over. Before all that starts I'm turning 43 on January 30th.I'm a little nervous about surgery but my DD postponed college for a year to help me so I think it will all be OK. Hope all of you are doing well. Hugs Amy
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Hey ladies! I've been on the road lately. I rented an RV mid-December and my son and I drove across the country - from Atlanta to Los Angeles!
I've never even been a passenger in one before but I've always wanted to take a cross country trip in an RV, so I did it! If not now, when? Right?
We spent Christmas near the Grand Canyon. One of my main goals of the trip was to actually see the Grand Canyon but there was a freaky blizzard out of nowhere. Good news is we had a White Christmas. Bad news is we turned the RV in to the Los Angeles office, rented an SUV and turned around and went back to the Grand Canyon and got hit by another freaky snowstorm - this was New Year's Eve on the western side of Arizona. So, we'll have to fly back there someday soon. I'm determined to take him to see the dadgum Grand Canyon!!
So the plan was to rent the SUV in Los Angeles and drive up the coast to Seattle, where he lives now. We did that, but because of the detour back to Arizona and the snow delays we ran out of time for me to achieve my other goal of the trip - to spend a few days in Seattle and have him show me around. So basically we were driving 90 mph up the coast (so I did get to see Big Sur and San Fran) to make it to Seattle in time to catch my plane back to Atlanta. When we were in Oregon (I think I sped through your town, Eph!) my brother called and said "where are you?" I said Oregon, and he said "So you're going to go skidding into the Seattle airport at the last second? Why am I not surprised?" True, that is my way but I swear it wasn't my fault!
Lots of adventures along the way including getting locked out of the RV at 3:00 am at the junction of the Arkansas and Illinois rivers. Our phones were in the RV, the office was a mile uphill (and of course, closed) and my son was wanting to smash a window. He was pretty much panicking. I'm always calm in the face of disaster, so I kept saying "calm down, I'm trying to think" and I tried several things and I thought about our options (zero to none) and then muttered underneath my breath, "Oh god". That put him in straight-up panic mode and he was looking for something to smash the windows with. I was sitting on the bumper and then we heard a bear roar in the woods across the river (about 40 feet wide). So I decided breaking a window was a darn good idea after all. Fortunately, one of the windows was not latched closed and as we were removing the screen the bear roared again. Got a picnic table, pushed my son in the window and we made it!
I would love to do this again, only next time take the northern route across the country during the summer. Haha, I thought this would satisfy my long-time desire to travel in an RV but I think it only sparked a new interest.
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That sounds like a fantastic adventure! The sort of trip that family stories come from!
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heartnsoul: what a fab adventure!! Too bad about the freaky snowstorms at the Grand Canyon. Who would have thought that would happen? Twice??? Now you have the travel bug!!justamy: Yes they can do nipples,, but check to see if they will always be "erect" when finished. I've heard about that. Not sure if that would be an issue for you or not. There is a thread called "Trip to see Vinnie". Vinnie is KING of 3D nipple tattoos. He is in Maryland and one week a month in New Orleans. A lot of ladies go to him for their nipples. One of my friends has her appt in July and I'm going with her. (to watch only). Just wanted to tell you about it, as another option. Glad you are feeling better!!! My birthday was the 19th, always love finding other January birthday friends. Happy early birthday! Big HUGS to DD for helping you out!!
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FYI: Vinnie and an associate of his, Renee Mascinot, are planning a trip out to SoCal this year for West a Coast ladies. Have more details if needed
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HI,Been away from the boards for awhile but took a few hours to catch up. I am also a January birthday. Elvis , my mother in law and I all shared the same day. Hard to believe he and her would both have been 80 on January 8.
I had some breast reconstruction in Nov by fat grafting. People asked me why I would want to have more surgery but its just for me this time- for me to feel better about myself. It has helped a lot with the dent. I probably will have to do it again in April but it is already looking a lot better and the scar does not hurt where my bra rubs it anymore like it did before the recon.
I love the stories of helping other BC woman deal with the stress of the situation.
I was dxed after my very first mammo. After my cousin was dx with breast cancer at age 45 in Jan 2013, my niece aged 33 dx in May 2013. I had this strong strong feeling to get a mammo. I was so embarrassed and the mammo tech was quite rough but I got it done. I had bad results and then an ultrasound where the tech found a cyst instead of the cancer so I was told it was benigh and to come back in a year- I insisted on another mammo gram- this one bruised the tar out of me- when I saw the surgeon 3 weeks later he asked why I had bruises- but I got good pic and was dx. But the feelings of something bad still would not go away. I bugged my two living sisters to get tested. They finally did. I had surgery and then internal radiation. The day I was done with radiation I was not feeling well at all. My niece texted me asking me if I could talk to her mother has she had been dxed that day with breast cancer and would not talk to anyone or get out of bed. I don't totally remember everything I told my big sister( she is 15.5 yrs older than me) but I told her- We got this, here is my doctors names- I have been there- I will go with you, you can do this. Later she told me I was acting like the big sister and not her. I guess I gave her a lecture- All I know is I was sick sick and didn't let on I was cause I didn't want to scare her as my niece who had breast cancer before me did to me. I built her up and got her out of bed and then went to the ER where I was admitted for a few days.
Sometimes you have to built others up when you yourself are not feeling that "UP" but it works.
I have changed a lot in the past 18 months- now I am an advocate to everyone about mammo grams- I would be the fist in line shirt off to get one if that is what I had to do. I guess the embarrassment has a way of being overcome by the want to know...
Take care everyone and Happy New Year!!
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