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CALLING ALL STAGE I SISTERS

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Comments

  • eph3_12
    eph3_12 Member Posts: 2,704
    edited May 2011

    Beautiful Ducky!

  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 5,858
    edited May 2011

    Very touching Ducky....I like what your mom said.IF YOU FAIL AS A MOTHER YOU HAVE FAILED IN LIFE.

  • Sandeeonherown
    Sandeeonherown Member Posts: 1,781
    edited May 2011

    Oh crap!! You did it again Ducky..here I am sitting beside my old cat as she washes herself (yes to personal cleansing..it means she is feeling better!!)...started my day with a migraine (have not had one since I turned menopausal two years ago..unless it was from crying...) and now feel achey like I am getting sick..cranking in the echinecea and hoping it does not affect my heart meds becaus eI am taking it anyhow- only thing that stops me from geting sick when I feel like this....keep your fingers crossed..between the antibiotic, the yeast infection it caused, my sick cat and first cday at the cardiac clinic (not going to repeat what I said on another thread but OMG it is going to be a long long boring 3 months!!!)!!!...was feeling irritated by the whole thing and Ducky..well, you just gave me perspective! thank you

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646
    edited May 2011

    Granny, she was a wise and wonderful woman........she raised me alone.  I saw my father 1 time in my life as I remember..........I have 1 picture of him holding me as a baby, and that is it...My mother never spoke of him, and I honestly couldn't tell you what the story was of their life...she always had her maiden name, that I recall......there is no history of her having the same last name as me...........whatever her story was she never shared it, and it didn't matter to me.   She was a wonderful mother..............as I said she raised me alone, and would clean the homes of the rich so she could clothe me........and believe it or not, most of my clothes tags were from Bloomingdales.She thought she had to work harder, and try harder because back in the 30's single Mom's were frowned on.

    I was an only child, and when people would ask her about why she had just one child..she would say "because after having her I knew I could never do better then that, so why try".............She eventually re-married my step father who was the only father I really knew, I was 14 and he use to call me "his little Princess"............most wonderful man I ever met.

    When it came time for me to get my wedding invitations, the woman at the store said to me "since he is not your real father, by rights his name should not be on the invitation,".."Or you can say Mr. and Mrs. E. McLaughlin request the honor of your presence at the marriage of Mrs. McLaughlin's daughter..............Needless to say I didn't get my invitations at that store......He was my father, and I was not Mrs. McLaughlin's daughter, I was their daughter.

    So I guess because of the hard life my mother had, and how she knew there were people who were looking down on her and her fatherless child, she said I had to prove them all wrong.............that anyone could have a baby, but not everyone can earn the title "Mother"............so came the saying from her to me.  "If you fail as a mother, you have failed in life.

  • FireKracker
    FireKracker Member Posts: 5,858
    edited May 2011

    Ducky---how beautiful.i too had no father.my dad died when i was 8 and my brother was 4.my mom worked like a dog to give us everything back in the 40s.She learned how to design clothes by goin to work and school.We were poor but we had everything we needed.She also taught me that WE COME FIRST.She remarried after I got married and my brother was away in college.she was deathly afraid of bringing in a step father.OLD SCHOOL ITALIAN.And she made all my clothes.

  • Melmes
    Melmes Member Posts: 38
    edited May 2011
    Hi, Ladies - sorry to have gone AWOL over the weekend, I was at the International Medieval Conference, presiding over a session. It was SO GREAT to get out of here for a few days and just be me, the scholar, and not me, the cancer chick. Right back to work, though - another aspiration tomorrow afternoon, then an MRI and ultrasound on Friday, an hour from here; I have my next oncologist's appointment next Tuesday, and I'm staring my first round of chemo in the face, probably next Friday. The good news is they did not find anything on the bone scan except an abnormality on one foot they have determined is a running/dancing injury. They found an enlarged lymph node on the CAT scan, but they think it is reactive to the surgery and not anything to be worried about. That's what I'm getting the MRI and ultrasound for. They are all telling me this is just MAKING SURE, dotting Is and crossing Ts, and they do not think it is anything to worry over. In the end, though, they are not seeing any mets. SUCH a relief, and I feel very blessed about that.
  • Melmes
    Melmes Member Posts: 38
    edited May 2011

    Ducky - what wonderful stories you have!!!

    Laughing

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646
    edited May 2011

    Melmes................thank you, and its those stories,  which have made the memories, that have helped me through the hard  times.................

    Granny.........My husband was full Italian, ran a tough ship, but what a wonderful Captain he was. 

  • valjean
    valjean Member Posts: 1,110
    edited May 2011

    Melmes, keeping good thoughts that the aspiration, US, MRI continue to show no sign of 'ugly'. You're on a roll, sistah! As for chemo, I'm sending up a prayer that you have minimal SE's. Please be sure to let us know how everything turns out. I know how it feels to 'get-away' for a few days - you can breath a bit better, a bit deeper, you can relax some.

    Hugs

  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 10,618
    edited May 2011

    Good news, Melmes.

    Ducky, you had me in tears readig your stories.  You are a rich woman! I saw a sign in a store yesterday "The Best Things in Life, Aren't Things".  So true!

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 9,646
    edited May 2011

    Meece...........I always tried to instill in my children that "things" do not make you happy, they just help to make you a little more comfortable in your misery....................My husband and I did not have much.......I made the choice to stay home and raise my children (many did back then), so there were sacrifices we had to make........sometimes instead of "steak" it was hot dogs, but we always had french fries, baked beans, and applesauce, to make it more like a "meal"..........my girls had $1.00 store Barbies, when the other girls had "the real thing"........hand me down clothes were not considered shameful in our house, and sometimes that is what they had.................xmas was always rough, because I had to shop all the sales so I could get a lot for my money, so there would be many packages to open for all 6 of them.

    Yes, I could have had less children...........possibly 2, or 3, but I chose to surround myself with love, and that is what I did, and I would have not changed it for the world............

    My children today when they get together and they start going back over their lives, they will say "funny thing is we never knew we had "less things"  "Somehow, Mom and Dad, always made it look like we had a lot.

    Today 19 years after my husband died, I can look up to heaven and say "you did a great job" .  My children now are 53, 52, 51, 47, 45, 42...................all very successful...............2 own their own Construction companies........1 is the Director of a Commercial Real Estate Co...............1 is an Executive in a Pharmaceutical company,........1 is Head Coordinator in the same Pharma company as her sister............1 is Director of Staff training for a major Restaurant and Banquet Hall in Pa................so things don't really matter...............it is the guidance, the love, and the special attention that you give to your children........making each feel like they are the favorite, and never losing sight of the fact, that you have to give love to get love...........

    I would always tell my husband..........children don't ask to be born they don't  come with an instruction book, but love is not found in a book, it comes from inside you, from your heart..........God gives them to us, and it is our job to make sure in the end when he gets them back, he can look at them and say " job well done".............

  • SusanHG
    SusanHG Member Posts: 455
    edited May 2011

    Melmes:  Your conference sounds like it was very interesting!  I am starting back at grad school in the Fall in a Humanities program-English is my major field, art history my minor.  I am more interested in the 19th century, but have always loved medieval lit, art, and history as well.  Hope your tests go very well for you.  I know, by now, I am incredible sick of tests.  I've had every MRI known to man, and my blood vessels must be permanently dyed!

  • mimi1964
    mimi1964 Member Posts: 851
    edited May 2011

    Hi everyone just popping in for a minute before bed.  Hope you all have a great week!

    Valjean... I miss you sister/friend!  we never get to talk like days of old... Frown  Take care of yourself

    Renee

  • Sherryc
    Sherryc Member Posts: 4,503
    edited May 2011

    Melms hope all goes well with your MRI

  • Angelight
    Angelight Member Posts: 2
    edited May 2011

    Hi all im a stage 1 but grade 3 IDC trpile neg I think as they only put 2 negs on my form  my lump was 7mm good clean margines & 6 clean nodes definately got to have radiation but the chemo is boarderline got to see oncologist monday to discuss if its benifical or not in my case I am hoping not

  • hopefulhealing
    hopefulhealing Member Posts: 581
    edited May 2011

    Angelight did you have an Oncotype test?  If not maybe discuss this to see if it would help guide the decision about chemo.

  • raincitygirl
    raincitygirl Member Posts: 700
    edited May 2011

    I didn't think Oncotype was available for hormone negatives?

  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 10,618
    edited May 2011

    I am a TN and they didn't do oncotype on me.  I was told that it was so agressive they wanted to do as much as they could to prevent recurrance, so I did segmental Mx, chemo and rads.

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 9,611
    edited May 2011

    ((FRIENDS))

    I didn't post for a while and welcome all the newbies.

    My father and my Aunt passed away few days ago.

    Sheila

  • tinat
    tinat Member Posts: 2,235
    edited May 2011
    seyla888:  Wow, I'm so sorry to hear that.  My condolences....
  • sugar77
    sugar77 Member Posts: 1,328
    edited May 2011

    Sheila - very sorry to hear your news. My sincere condolences. I'd insert a flashing clip art image but I still haven't mastered that. Please use your imagination and think of some sort of hugging angel. 

  • o2bhealthy
    o2bhealthy Member Posts: 1,089
    edited May 2011

    Oh Shelia I am so sorry! Two losses in such a short period of time...sending you lot of hugs and prayers <3

  • elimar
    elimar Member Posts: 5,890
    edited May 2011

    Seyla, sorry you have lost your dad.  Your aunt too. 

                                   

  • valjean
    valjean Member Posts: 1,110
    edited May 2011

    Sheila, dear sister/friend,

    Love & hugs,

  • rohanna
    rohanna Member Posts: 154
    edited May 2011

    Hi, Sheri47. I am Rohanna and have just had my lumpectomy. My lump was 2.5 and no nodes were involved but they removed 2 just in case.  I start radiation tomorrow. They aren't recommending chemo. for me. Is that the case for you too?

  • rohanna
    rohanna Member Posts: 154
    edited May 2011

    I'm Rohanna and I am so glad to find Stage 1 Sisters to talk to. I was diagnosed on St. Patrick's Day (go figure for an Irish girl) and had my lumpectomy on the 19th. By the way, anybody got a good way to remove Dermabond? I start radiation tomorrow but I am already starting meds. Does anyone else take Femara? My mom is a 7 yr. breast cancer survivor but, she took Tamoxifin. If you take Femara, do you have any side effects? I can't tell if my headaches are from the meds. or sinuses. I don't wear much pink either but I love my brown T-shirt that reads "Fight Like A Girl". Much love, Ladies!

  • valjean
    valjean Member Posts: 1,110
    edited May 2011

    Welcome, Rohanna, very sorry you have to be here, but we are so happy you have found us. This group of gals is just the best. I had a lumpectomy (with clear nodes) followed by 33 Rads (28 + 5 boosts) & followed that with Aromasin, an AI as Femara is. My SE's from Aromasin are really minor & I hope you have the same with Femara. If you have a hard time on it, your Onc can switch you to Aromasin or Arimidex.

    There is a Rads thread with gals going through tx probably in the same time-frame as you if you would like to check that out. I found it to be pretty easy, the part I didn't like was going every day but the time went by quickly.  

  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 7,545
    edited May 2011

    Sheila - Sorry to hear the news - my condolences on your losses.

                                  

  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 7,545
    edited May 2011
    rohanna - Welcome to the sisters - glad you found us but sorry you have to be here with us.  I also had lumpectomy, negative nodes, 33 rads and now Tamoxifen.  I tried Arminidex and Femara but can't take them due to bad SEs.  Like Valjean said, there is a thread for others going through rads which would be a very good source of information for you.  When I went through rads, I followed the Nov, Dec & Jan threads.  It really helped me get through.  Best of luck to you - rads will be over before you know it.
  • Meece
    Meece Member Posts: 10,618
    edited May 2011

    Welcome, Rohanna. As others have said, I am sorry we have to meet like this.

    Sugar77, it is good to see you.  It has been a long time!  Love your new avatar! (At least it's new to me)  I can't believe how much your hair has grown!

    Seyla, so sorry for your losses.  Hope you are holding up well.